The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current, April 01, 1959, Page Page 3, Image 3

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    Wednesday, April , 1959
The Pink Rag
Charlie Broivn
Arrested by Cops
Charlie Brown, Nebraska
track speedster, was speed
ing a little too fast for our
"fair" police force and
after a 10 mile-110 mile per
hour chase the cops hauled
Charlie to jail. He was
charged with trying to re
sist arrest, speeding, care
less driving, and tiMrris
accounts. Explained Charlie
after being caught, "All I
did was drink a few beers,
leave the bar and wander
Charlie Brown
around until I happened to
stumble into a house. After
I left the house, I got In my
car and proceeded home to
spend a quiet evening.
The sad thing Is fans is
that Charlie was only going
26 in a 25. He needs us now
so lets all help our beloved
The Orchesis, women's
modern dance group, is
looking for a student man
ager. The qualifications are
simple. You must be male
and eligible.
The girls would also like
to extend their thanks to the
previous manager, Herman
llardup, who served them
so faithfully for a week be
fore his injury. Herman is
presently in Student Health
being treated for protruding
eyeballs and other minor defects.
Leafhoppers, Die
There will be a meeting of
the Society for the Preven
tion of the Potato Leafhopper
Monday at 4 p.m. in the Ag
ronomy Building.
17 MU IvM Ml 1
1 . .4 . J . til tl f M
J.h ill W , J
f if
Biirm iiiiniiiiniiiniriiir- in- -
Designed for the active man. Zelan treated Windy Bay cloth.
Soil it, wash it, wear it. Resists wrinkles, oils, spots, and
soil. Machine washable . . . drip dry . . . needs little,
W arjy, touch-up ironing. Sheds water after repeated
washings. In smart, sun-fast colors.
"Clothes for the
complete gentleman"
hi Captain Ulalh
Call For
Currently, the university of
ficials are engaged in a heat
ed debate as to whether or
not women (nice young girls)
should be allowed to compete
in college athletics with their
male cohorts. This is a topic
"Pffft" Tweedy and friend jog towards the practice
field for the opening of spring practice on the Nebraska
1127 "R" STREET
By Mickey T.louse
"We hate fans." said Lolly
Hepley, Will Myth, and Shake
Slyer in a joint statement to
this reporter. The three
coaches went on to say that
they didn't need supporters at
their meets. They said, "We
don't need fan support. Our
athletes already have all the
support ttiey need of another
kind. We console them daily.
Also, they know that their
daddies and momies stand be
hind them."
Hepley, who coaches wim
men (excuse me) swimmin,
said that fans are a terrible
menace at his indoor meets.
He said, "It is hot enough in
there without all those peo
ple. The more people, the
thicker the fog on the win
dows. As you know I am a
birdwatcher and the fog im
pairs my vision. The great
number of fans also add to the
confusion. Not only have sev
eral people been drowned
when pushed into the pool, but
after the last meet it was such
a madhouse that I and several
of my swimmers became
mixed up and ended up in the
girls dressing room. It took
me several hours to fight my
way out and my wife still
isn't speaking to me. I was
late for supper."
' - WV XT v iyl ' l
IHII amililili llllllMbllir .mMmmmmmemmmmmi mil nun t Ml I III HH II II I II Xi
I Myth, who is grappling
coach, said, "The people are
I generally so packed in t h e
! Coliseum that many specta
! tors are pushed out into
, the wrestling mat. We are
facing a liable suit at the pres-
i ent time because Ed Teth-
! meier, my heavj-weight wres
tler, accidently grabbed an
'observer and tore his arm
Shake Slyer, who coaches
' gin-nastics, said that over
enthusiasm is his prime con
cern. Last week his parched
' peons were three quarts ahead
' of their opponents when a fan
rushed from the stands and
tryed to assist Muck Pelvis
;who was doing a gigantic
'swing on the high bar while
holding a bottle between his
knees and catching the con
tents in his mouth. Whether
; the fan was trying to assist
'Pelvis off the bar or assist
the bottle is not known. Any
way the fan and Pelvis be
came entangled and now
i Coach Slyer's prize athlete
lies in Student Health with
! broken bottle wounds and the
I broken bottle. Slyer expects
I him to be back in action with
in a week. However, he may
not be in top physical condi
tion because he cannot take
part in the team's daily warm
up exercises. He is unable to
do any exercises that require
a sitting position.
Want Ads
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you can use.
' plui to
I5st: Brown rim p'lBes on Ag Campus.
Ray Miller, 8-2147.
Esther Ioso. noeclallin In Men's
Women's ffttln? problems Double
bre-dsted converted to single. 4445 Bo.
4Sth, 4-4212.
For sale Bookcane. desk, chpflt-of-drawers,
miscellaneous furniture.
For Sale: Half pr;re sale on mups
German. Panlnh, English. American
S1..V) to ?15.0O. Cliff s 13th M.
Typewriter, srtdlne machine for rent
or sale. BLOOMS. 323 No. 13. 2-5258.
TV's rented. (12.50 per month Every
thing furnished. Kollar'a appliance.
Students, have your thesis bound at
H. H. Bindery by experienced book
binders at new low prices, any thlck
nepg S3-00. Special custom binding at
a slightly hlpher rate. Bibles. Text
hooks. Periodicals bound and rebound
at Low Low prices. Phone 6-4435
Daytime 2-8309 Evenings.
H'antrd I'wd Innocent's Jackrts for
HtntHnr Herd contact Jerry Srllcntin,
Tort XI political bms. 1535 K.
Six house broken Blllle Goats. See
Farmer Junes.
Man exptrnr6 nr. licking: stamps,
pahtlnjc clMuiln, etc. Denliv work on
staff for one day.
t ied Christmas
r Hhpna Hotie after :Hl.
ontact Kap-
Coaches., Official
which has long been consid
ered by the men of all uni
versities throughout the coun
try, but it is the first time
that the athletic and admin
istrative officials have dared
to consider such a brave
Here at our beloved institu
tion, we have nine sports tthat
this writer is sure that girls
(nice young ones) would per
form admirable in. They are:
football, basketball, swim
ming, gymnastics, wrestling,
track, tennis, golf, and base
ball. Of these nine, two, wrest
ling & football, stand out in
the minds of all red-blooded
American males as being
the best sports to admit girls
(nice ones) into. In the eyes
of these crusading males,
these sports are the ones that
the girls (nice young ones)
could excel in most.
In this small (very tiny)
article, I am going to present
in my humble way all the
reasons for adopting such a
policy. (I am NOT going to
give ANY reasons for not giv
ing this magnificent plan a try
because that would be silly.)
First of all there is the rea
son of companionship. A star
athlete always needs the
companionship of a girl (a
nice young one). What better
way is there to wipe out this
problem than to have our
male stars playing against
and with the fair half of the
species. Think of it.
Ward Moved Up To
P.E. Instructor
Pal Ward was moved up
from his head football coach
ing job to Assistant professor
of physical education at Colo
ratdeal University.
Ward is replacing Bud Wel
kinson who will be moved
down to Ward's old position
of football coach. Although
W'elkinson didn't show much
emotion, it was evident he
wasn't happy over the change.
Harold Honeylips, chairman
of the athletic board, said
Welkinson had been relieved
of his duties after due deliber
ation and consideration and
much regret. The board said
the school was in need of a
younger man.
Ward was given the higher
post because of his excellent
Secondly, girls (nice young
ones) are able to hold their
own with males any time as
most of my fans can testify
too. This is absolutely no rea
son why they couldn't cut the
mustard in sports as well.
The third reason is a big
one. The students want Co-inter-collegiate
sports. This
writer has undertaken an ex
haustive survey as to wheth
er or not the coaches and the
students of this institu
tion really are in favor of
this plan. They are. The most
outstanding student opinion
came from Husker athletic
idol Selvyn "Buckshot" Pin
kleberry. He was very em
phatic in his approval of the
Coach Bill "boy would that
be sharp" Jennings summed
up the feelings of the other
coaches pretty well. He said,
'I feel that this plan would
.t.. :mnrna Vip morale 01
the boys especially during
those long tedious practice
Last but not least would be
the tremendous upsurge ot
gate receipts. Think of t n e
thousands of fans that would
suddenly swing over to the
Husker side if girls (nc.e
young ones) were allowed to
participate in sports. They
would flock to Lincoln from
all parts of the country to
witness the spectacle.
Anyone interested in be
coming a Football Student
Manager contact
7-1911 Immediately
record as the Buff's 'tead
coach. His teams have repeat-
eaiv Deen runnerups 10 mei
conference champions, 0 i 1
wellhoma U.
Since 1950, Ward's teams
have lost only twice by over
whelming scores. Twice they
have been beaten by a touch
down, once by a single point,
and once they tied.
Ward was overjoyed when
he learned of his new appoint
ment. He hadn't wanted the
job for a good many years.
His new position will ease the
tension and give him a chance
to be at home more. All and
all, Ward was overjoyed at
the prospect of being turned
out to pasture and relieved of
the duties he had held in good
stead for many years.
Open Bowling Saturday A Svnday
24 Lanes Automatic Pinsetten x
Restaurant . . . Barber Shop
920 N. 48lh PHONE G-1911
Limited number still available
16 colored pages
Delivery toon
Order at Cornhusker office Std. Union
by Lorry Hurb
"April Fooll-
F"""l f J I 1 I I
Thlnklish translation i The guys who patrol the fences on this man's
team include a slugger (cloutfielder) , a braggart (shoutfielder) and a
sorehead (poutfielder) reading from left field to right. The clod in
question a loutfielder rarely breaks into the line-up. He thinks
RBI is the second line of an eye chart. But he's no doubtfielder when
it comes to smoking. He goes all out for the honest taste of fine
tobacco ... the unforgettable taste of a Lucky Strike!
''AW. f! "WW1 fjf- M'wf"
33 rj:dja.r. taitMiSia
LUCllV -,
no Jiff s $
Take a word institution, for example;
With it, you can make an aquarium
institution), a bowling alley (pinstitu
tion), a fireworks factory (dinstitution)
or a saloon (ginstitution). That's Think
lish and it's that easy! We're paying
$25 for the Thinkllsh words judged best
your check's itching to go! Send your
words to Lucky Strike, Box 67A, Mt
Vernon, N.Y. Enclose your name, ad
dress, umversity and class.
Thinklisb: COP1TALISM
Get the genuine article
Get the honest taste
! TbinJcliifi: SMARTERY A
product oj .jAntxu3vaco (Jum.ULpKTjmlddlesss
ClawA n
t now.
oa probation effective si