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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (April 8, 1958)
Tuesday, April 8, 1958 The Doily Nebroskon Pace 3 Hypnotist Hired As Pigs D; e rive kin Starts Psychic Method Planned For NU Rad Munginger, world fa mous hypnotist, has signed a contract as head coach of the University's football team, according to Nebraska athlet ic officials. Munginger's hiring came as part of a move toward a more intellectual Husker sports policy. Nebraska athletic director Still Boozer, commented, "football has become such a war of opposing psychological tactics that we thought we would steal a march on the rest of the nation's schools and become the first institu tion to really inject psycholo gy into the fundamentals of football." "After all," Boozer contin ued, "the boys ought to be able to block pretty well if they are mesmerized into be lieving they can do it." Munginger, himself, com mented, "I expect to rebuild Isebraska into a national foot ball power in one season. 1 am perfectly convinced of my ability to do this and I think the boys will be to if I get a chance to speak to each of them personally soon. 1 plan to inspark some still into them." (Editor's note' Since we talked to coach Mungin ger by long distance phone, the conversation was at times a bit gargled.) Slim Marybaum, leader of the recent campus spirit drive band an ocifer in the Extra Pint Club, predicted that Mun ginger will improve alumni relations throughout the state enormously. NOTICE: Will th parsan who ramevtd an English book and Spanish book from tha cast Rag rack In Andrews Hall Monday morning kindly sail thorn or re turn them to that spot as soon as possible at they contain valu able margin-notes. "Just think of the tickets that man could sell on a state wide personal appearance tour," Marybaum said. Other Big Eight coaches contacted about the hiring ex pressed mixed sentiments. Ward Comeclose, Colorado mentor thought that the hir ing of Muninger set a bad precedent. "In an era of recession and unemployment, Nebraska's move will only add to the de teriorating economic situ ation," Comeclose comment ed. (Ed note: Dr. Gary Hodgpodge, famed conserva tive economist negated Come closs's comment. Hodgepodge said, "There isn't any reces sion.") Bluff Killemson, Okla homa's famed strategist took the opposite view however. "It will be a real pleasure to match wits with a man of Munginger's ability. After all, we aren't playing the coach, just his team. I am certain that we can field a combination that is just as punchy as anything these pseudo-scientific people can produce." Other conference coaches were unavailable to the press. As a matter of fact, the con ference scene on the football front was so chaotic that this newspaper was unable to dis cover who was coaching what school. Most of the pres ent incumbents were either too busy packing or unpack ing to comment anyway. Former Husker football coach, William Rodgers Jem merity, said of the move that deposed him, "I am not bitter toward the school or the state. I whish my successor the best of luck. Anything is worth a try." Jemmerity said that he "hadn't any plans as yet" but he was reported to be con sidering a post as chairman of the University human re lations department. tf,?tti).-.urr' y Munginger . . . New Coach Chicken New Sport By Garry Gearshelmer Staff Stiff Writer For the first time in the University's history, a new sport, exclusive to the big eight is being drafted. The Nebraska finance board just yesterday approved the hiring of Oswald Squeelingtire for head coach for the Uni versity "Chickie" team. All those wishing to sign up for spring training must have the following qualifications: Must be 18 or over, must own a rod not older than a 54; rod must be chopped at least 2Vi inches, in the rear, must have completely bald over sized tires, and at least one 6 foot whip aerials. Coach Squeeling tire re ceived most of his experience during the second World War. For outstanding service for the Empire of Japan, the coach won the Fu Man Chu medal for being the only Kamikaze to survive 7 plane crashes. After his r e 1 e a s e from the hospital, Squeeling tire came to the Unite.' States where he started to indoctri nate the Delinquent youths of the West to the Art of "Chickie." Tryouts will begin on 14th Street, April 31. The run will be between the corner of the Student Union down to the corner of the Consumer Pow er Co. Participants must attain a speed of at least 60 m.p.h. before a competition run will be recorded. Civilian motor ists and pedestrians travel the strip at their own risk. Any member of the team hitting either the motorist or the pe destrian will win automatic ally. If both men hit outsid ers, they must continue the run until one turns away or a collision occurs. The win ner, in case of a collision will be the survivor. Detroit Ellison Be. ELECTRICAL POWER CAREER OPPORTUNITIES Research and Development Plant and System Design Equipment Engineering Planning for Growth Purchasing Sales Eletricai-Mechanical RESERVE YOUR APPOINTMENT TIME AT PLACEMENT OFFICE TO SEE OUR REPRESENTATIVE FOR SUMMER AND FULL-TIME EMPLOYMENT Tuesday. April 15 c??o)($ The Armchair Snort v 1 by ivan popoffnick There has been controversy to the effect that Nebraska's school spirit is not on a par with other schools in our class such as Oklahoma, Army, Notre Dame, and Navy. There is no reason why we can't develop a reputation like any of theirs. All we have to do is encourage students to attend sporting events. Why there are some people who don't even know that the University has a sports program. Such encouragement could come in the form of grade raising and serving free "refreshments." It would certainly be great inspiration to see that old Coliseum full for a wrest ling match or three thousand students turn out for a swim ming meet. After we started winning all our contests spirit would automatically improve. And that publicity! I'm not going to bore you with a lot of the details for my spirit reconstruction program, but after all, I am qualified. My work on this topic includes study at Hadar Tech, Yale, and Plato's school of philosophy. Having never participated in sports of any kind, I am naturally well versed on sideline procedure. I even attended a Nebraska sporting event once, but didn't like it much. I could see right off what the trouble was. People were leaving. An exhibition of spirit like that was certainly a thoughtless, cruel action, don't you agree? This was absolutely the wrong thing to do at a crucial mo ment. Some of these people would not return that season. What did they expect? Just because we were losing the last game of the season doesn't mean they have to stay mad all year. As I relax in my collapsible lawn chair and click on the radio to a Nebraskan sporting event, I can tell if we fans are cheering, and so can thousands of other taxpayers. So if you don t like to attend our sporting events, quit school. WIMW'IWUWWWWBBMWMMlllfJ SIS1JI1JLIIISBI '...II -y after every shave Splash on Old Spice After Shave Lotion. Feel your ace wake up and livs! So good for your skin o good for your ego. Brisk as an ocean breeze, Old Spice makes you feel like a new man. Confident. Assured. Relaxed. You know you're at your best when you top off your shave with Old Spice! TOO AFTER SHAVE LOTION by SHUITGN plus ten Coaches Correl Nine Footer By Melvin Cowznofski Pink Rag South African Correspondent Monrovia, Liberia Harry Slush, University basketball coach announced Monday that Stiltolashponitch Q. Hui jaklabiskanus, 9'2" Watusi, ha' accepted an offer to at tend Nebraska in the fall of 1958. Stiltolashponitch, who pre fers to be called Stilt the Stilt, will arrive in his cage aboard the B.S. United States sometime this summer. Huijaklabiskanus' manager, former Canzas basketball coach, Rick Carp, said Stilt is very happy over his schol arship. "He had three extra white men for dinner last night, Carp said." Knarf Engives, Husker track coach, also reports that Huijaklabiskanus has h i g h jumped 10 feet, but he hopes for improvement. Slush stated that he was very happy over Huijaklabis kanus' decision to attend Ne braska, and said that "I will probably play him at center, although I have not decided yet." :wii m m mm i iwisyvaMyia v. 1 j - 4 1 V? 7 1 ' -Am V Husker Secret Weapon Displayed ew Baseball Weapon Tried Flaming Fast Ball Brings Torrid Win Streak By Alfred E. Newman What, Me Worry? The Cornshuckers baseball team which recently returned from a week long vacation in the South along with a few games was ben efited by the use of a new pitching device, X-000. Sonny Sparks, Shucker coach, when contacted at his hide-out, said the new wea pon, which is a form of the fast ball, was introduced in the first game after it was 1 Tootsie Rocket . . . Slugger approved by the NFTA. k. Na tional Flame Thrower Asso ciation) and completely shocked the opposing nine." Sparks stated that the new device was invented by a for mer player, H. G. Wells, after many years of work. Opponents Burned "Although our opponents were rather burned-up about X-000, they took it in stride. The umpires were wearing blue asbestos suits and had no trouble calling the plays." The same eight players were used in all six games, Sparks said. Jerry Comet at shortstop, Al Cupid at second base, Larry Dasher in right field, Jim Dancer behind the plate, LeRoy Blitzen in left field, Al Vixen at First base, Gary Donner in center field and Bill Prancer at third base certainly cannot be over looked, Sonny continued. Asked if he was afraid that other teams might begin us ing the X-000, the Shucker coach assured the University that Nebraska has the only weapon in existence, mainly because H. G. accidently cre mated himself when he fin ished the first flame thrower. Navy Began Work Sparks said the Navy had attempted to perfect the X 000, but after several misfir ings at Escape Canaver Florida, Wells was given the right to work on a new idea, that of using the weapon on the baseball diamond. Air Force ROTC Colonel Carter Lake has approached the athletic department about using the X-000 to put more! spark into his cadets, but this request was turned down, ac cording to Nhoj Yeltneb, ath letic department mouthpiece. Title Possible In regard to a possible Big Ape baseball championship, Sonny said, ' I don't want to be modest, but I have no doubt but what we'll be Big Ape champs in '58." The only other use of the X-000 has been by Sparks' father, who operates Doper's Mortuary. Doper reports that cremation by X-000 is very practical and business is im proving rapidly. PRINTING Fraternity. Sorority & Organ ization Lettorhoadi . . . Lat ter . . . Nw Bulletins . . . Booklet . . . Program. GRAVES PRINTING CO. 312 North 12th. Ph. 2-2957 DR. BLOCK'S DIRECTORY OF MAGICIANS WORLD'S LARGEST DIRECTORY DR. MEYER BL0CH President Eastern Magical Society 240 R hint-ton Street New Tork 8, N.T. CHRISTIAN'S PIZZARiA 8 varieties of PIZZA 3 Sizes $2.00. 1.50. 75c Dining Room Service 5 P.M. 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