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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (April 8, 1958)
I Pooe 2 TKe Dotty Nebrosken Tuesdoy, April 8, 1958 j Editorial Comment w omen .Bah! As of today this paper is taking a firm stand in favor of abolishing coeducation cn the University r ampus. In the face ci the terrible fix the world is in there is no alternative. Women must make room for more men, test tubes and slide rules. Detailed research has shown that be fore Eve not one man failed an exami nation. Now, look at things. In fact, that's the whole trouble. When women are around you are always looking at things you aren't supposed to be look ing at. Things like dimpled knees, rosy cheeks and smooth swaying you know whsts. Women mnst go. Down w ith women. We mean out with women. We mean we don't want vomei laying around the campus. We mean that it's hard to think f anything else when yon're thinking f women. What is the theory of relativity com pared to the theory of relatives which women are always trying to impress on men? What are books compared with women's locks? Women are only distractions. Get rid of them. Down, down, down with wom en! A check esing only the best proved Dr. Kinsey interview methods revealed the real reasons women come to col lege. A few comments follow: Nancy Fancy, junior Po Boota Pho Well, kid, if you donl stop asking me if I just came to college to get a man IH knock bell out of you. Me, I came to college to get culture. That's spelled k-u-l-t-u-r-e. Jaci Macter, sophomore Koona Koona Gemer No, I don't Lie school but I dont Lke work either. My parents told me find a man or get a job but don't stay around the bouse drinking their beer and smoking their cigarettes. Well, I read somewhere that college men get paid more dough later on so here I am. I want to give my kids all I didn't have. Maybe not quite all though. Jerri Merrie, senior Dandy Gundy What's it to yon? If I thought ft were yujr business I'd tell you. I don't tell guys my trade secrets for nothing. If you're really interested in knowing what I came to college for you can take me out to dinner, take me to your formal, take me to a cocktail party, take me to a movie, take me to the follies. Get the drift? I dont do anything for nothing. Grabba Tnbba, freshman Alfa Phalfa You better believe I'm learning. Those stories about flowers are nuts! Mertie Misery, sophomore AHi Omph Pah I'nr here because men are here, and they're not only here but they are here 3 to L Do you hear me S to 1? Back in high school I sat home and played Cinder alia but no prince ever called on me with a glass slipper, so all I ever did was knit and wash dishes. But here, oh you kid, here even I am a belle of the balL Last week I got to turn down 15 dates. Do you hear me 15 dates? That means I'm a queen. Do you under stand? Me a queen, a queen, a queen! I'm a queen I tell you. I'm a queen! Ellie Preslie, senior Kuba Alii Thrash erMen make me sick. One guy refused to go out with me to our formal because be had another date that night. Imagine anyone turning down a Kuhi AHi Thrash er. And then another guy asked me out for a coffee date and I said okay. Then what does he do but take to the crib for coffee. To the crib. And me a Kuba AHi Thrasher. Can you really imagine that? Men really du make me sick. Ex cuse me. I gotta run. I'm already a couple of hours late for my date. He's probably still waiting out in the rain. They can't come in the Kuba AHi Trash er bouse when its raining. Get the rug muddy you know. Taffie HafQe, sophomore Soggy Doggy Toggy Sure I came here to get mar ried. What else? Do you think I'm dif ferent or something? Carfl Congo, junior Doggy Doggy Dog gy I've found out there's a lot more to Lie than book learning. Yes, men, these are the types of creat ures who presently inhabit this fair campus. These are the monsters who go about disguised as Greek goddesses wearing bermuda shorts and X covered kvis. We must assert ourselves as the su perior race and give tsp this senseless coed race. Women . , . bah! From the Editor private opinion 4 '4 4 -mcnl oratcn wnegeru, txaom sjiroiu q said when I asked him what his stand ; on the Sanitary Ship Canal was. Khrifhi. Rpn-dMican candidal for canal ? Inspector was in Lincoln over the holt s' days to inspect the waterworks and let ; gj few blasts at Lincoln garbage col ; lection agencies. Astfa alzay, ont hardlug contelsigs, be - told me candidly last o Thursday evening as we .. drove along the country ' road leading from ; Tony's Happy Corner to . the ship canaL He couldn't believe that so much mud and so many tin cans could be clut- terinz us the road way flans the ship canal 61. ..I ifo- ' . "Why! turka onslo ar- shrdln frjlbma angiugnos eoi tan," he dclaimed as we took the turn down near the Ranch House. And when we entered the double doors be stood ; awed at the xeusa which seemed to ' swing back and forth from the chande ' Lers. 1 . I afcked Lira bow the campaign for the coming electioa was coining after ' we had bad a euple of arbemsteds there and be couldn't say anything. "Dot yinki : Larai?" be asked me. I couldn't really , tell him for sure, tbocgfc since I hadn't . 4rata connect) with the Republican -Tpjrty outside of the fancy Invitation I -tad to join its ranks. i ' " "Youkre, bandV he added, however. With that I stomped away from the r nii jmt fi h far If.arinP him uiyjc gii im V wuv : stranded far from the lights of the P c;ty, far from the coziness of the Pow fWow Room, far from the throbbing "handshake of M. Stonner, party wbeeL a a a Hot much else happened around Lin- 1 coto land over the holidays. dick shugrue Except the burning of the old Oliver Theatre down on 13th Street. Let's see, was that this Easter or was it some other time? Gee, I can't re member. Ill have to ask Nell tonight. Remember Bob Ireland? There's a boy who used to be around the University until something happened to him. I dont exactly know what it was, but something very " jf$ f. I Ireland important, a p p arenlly. Those were good old days when Ellen Smith f; was still wearing ber tf A hat and Charles Miller . was just a professor of Business Administration. Well, this Ireland guy lammed it with my copy of Sen. John Kennedy's Profiles in Courage. I understand he is planning to follow Ken nedy's style and write a book about famous deans of men rather than of fa mous Senators. He must be memorizing the format of the book, he's had it so long. No Dews from Joe HID, ambassador of the West in New York City. The last word we had from him be said, "Keep writing the truth." That's no kidding. The letter came right after the review of Ondine. Here's something we missed last week. It was National Laugh Week. And a lot of things to laugh at, loo. Cuban Revolution planning the slaughter of any person who tries to keep another person from working. That would mean Casey would be shot on sight. Also, the Reds have poisoned our atmosphere. Sen. Humphrey told members of Congress. Then there was the news of Lana Tur ner's boy friend being stabbled by her daughter. Yes, sir, National Laugh Week. 1 1 Ba Fink On ETXTT-EETEf YEARS OLD ZTmmTZZi TTZZSt , v- . ..I..J rJtrit Vrmmm Umvi- i1iln. mm ctManal mmttrr la - latereoUesUte Frew aa.Tra h tt u-wi. Serriro tncorporitud tmH m im p rublbbew t: Soma is, Eto4st Ciuob uvl Xiseota. brisk CUirt CwT ix lifh A S I Afc t-rr Hm -"" li 14 lp.tul t J Lmmtut "TV nnk mt uMtebri r'trf rr L Wlw. M twttwl t m miv at wm m mrts. r lt. rrt mwmt t& 4iiiM W fcw -r fr nom mn rvmm I" ami mr t-Mivr m- mrrM "or r ik. St to wrttwi wrtw mmt to -r OdMr lMttat 9-er. Dtt . ftufftiwtiMKtM f the C iimniiiil "in 4W w'aa Afimm. r I'tanvtc. ( rr Kra. '.rrt-rJi M4. wwm . JT" II " .X. 4-.y--. kHd.kw T -'Kt lie's my candidate for Chancellor. Nebraskan Letterip Fm Alive To the Editor: Aha! You and every other miserable person on this cam pus thought I was dead or had moved away. But yon all were wrong, as you have been about most things since the time I came to this school following the dose of the World War. I have been watching the progress of Rod Mole and Melwyn Ekelherg over the past few weeks and if I might candidly comment they are certainly bad, arent they? The campus and the stu dents have improved in sine respect, though. And that's with regard to the grass. This time of year I think it's very heartening to see green on all sides of me as I ride by. Scout has helped to maintain the greenness of the grass, I might boast. But then if I did some wise acre would make nasty com ment. That's the way It al ways is. Now if I may lock hack on the past weeks and briefly comment on the major issues which have come before the campus I'd start with the dis missal of Robert Scotland as the news editor of the other campus newspaper, the Daily Nebraskan. Scotland was caught r e d Dosed. And w ben that happens you can expect the bottle to be thrown at yon. I've tried through the years to discour age this type of entertainment among students especially when Scout has been grazing south of Lincoln and cans or bottles have bit him on the saddle. But then, no one pays any more attention to me than they do to any other person who writes in that other cam pus paper. One of the other big issues before us this year has been the question of codifying the campus social policies. I have always been against that particular item presented before the council by Mr. Freeze. You can't expect any codification in a private in stitution, much less in a pub lic one, don't you know. Besides, it would destroy the cat-and-mouse attitude be tween the authorities and the students if the latter private interest group really knew wbat was expected of them. That's obvious eaough to me or to anyone else who has been around here as long as I have. Now, sirs, if I may touch on another touchy problem which has confronted the Uni versity for a long time. Last year a poet was around here who made some silly charges about lack of interest in the arts. This year, be couldnt make any such charges. Why just look at the people who went to see Teahouse of the August Moon to vote for the girl most likely to spul tea on a G.I. Now I understand the the atre is planning a campaign to select the girl most likely to sizzle at the stake in con nection with the next theatre play The Lark." In addition, there have been a great number of interesting comments in that paper about Ondise. I hear plans for a contest to name a girl most likely to be caught in the net was called off due to some unexplained circumstances (especially after the leading lady got ber net caught on the stairway). I was twskaoad from fre quent capnaps during the play by the incessant pounding by Stephe (The pointer) Shuiz of bis stick upon the stage. On, I could go on all night making glib comments, bat then there wouldn't be room for the more caustic ones about to follow. Just let your readers know, oh editor, that I, along with the TNE's, am not dead. J. SILVERHEELS The Mudslinger of - Unaccustomed as I am to reading anything in this al leged newspaper, I could not avoid reading the obnoxious, abhorrent, repellant, disgust i n t. Derni- clous, under-r handed muck which "Red" Shugrut the yellow 1 o n r nalist t who edits this -vilellttle s n e e i wrote as criticism the Universi- Mudslinger ty track team's production of "Lassie, Son of Flicka By Her Second Marriage." Unfortu nately, Mr. Shurgure makes only semi-literate remarks which are not worth mention ing, so'l wont Rumors have been circulat ing that two of my fellow col umnists are nincompoops. I wish to squelch these stories. Two of my fellow columnists are not nincompoops. My goodness, Erny Hines has a pretty red sweater. Have you noticed what a pret ty red sweater Earnie Hines has? Erniy Hines has such a prvtty red sweater I can hard ly believe it No one can be lieve what a pretty red sweat er Earrniey Hines has. Have you seen Earniyy Hines' pret ty red sweater? My God, It's neat And as for Melvin Eickle berry ... I have traditionally held the view that every men has right to express his own opin ions. But when they reach the sprawling proportions which Mel's have . . . well, need I say more? Hardly an evening has passed since the last day of school and the subsequent hol idays that I havent locked myself into my bottle and studied lines for the Kosmet Klub show. I'm trying my hardest to be as great as pot Bible in the show. If I surpass my perform ance in Asclepius, I'll be go ing some. Rumors around the theatre and around the campus in general acknowledge my prowess and I even hear they are trying to throw me out of the theatre for fear I would be too much. The claim actually runs that the theatre doesnt want a tri umvirate and what with Chill Willis, Geney Peeyou and the rest, I couldnt get to short stop. (Clever, eh?) rve been in constant touch with Bridey Murphy over the past few months. I'm hoping she will put me in touch with David Happily who, it's my understanding, has gone the same route to oblivion Bridey went. Then and only then will the great poetry, reminiscent of the days when Howls howled down the halls, return to this great literary field of honor. Have I said enough? Lover's . . . Advice . . . By Agnes Pheenamint Unfair! There is such a thing as the administration getting too dictatorial. I think it has reached that point here at NU. The thing that gripes me so damn much is the way they expect you to get your dates in at early closing hours and the rules that no men are al lowed in the sorority bouses after 1 a m. any morning. What do they think this is a grade school? Tb ether morning I got my date in at 4 am. So it was a little late, but what of it? You'd think I'd committed a crime or something. ReaDy all we did was discuss a little philosophy and history. Isnt that what school if for? What year is this. 196? What country is this, Russia? CONFUSED 0 4 4 It's A Lie To the Editor, I wish to squelch the rumors which have been circulating that Builders is a Communist front organization operating under orders from Moscow to discourage higher education in the U.S. It should be obvious to all those who witnessed the re cent marble tournament held in the middle of the mall that we are doing all w e can to en courage graduating high school seniors to come to the U. Moreover, we are convert ing "First Glance" into a pic ture magazine so that even illiterates can have their whack at publicity from our fair institution. MARG Slisbeharior To the Editor. In these days of growing juvenile delinquency, I had not dreamed that any institu tion of higher learning would have the gall to publicly spon tor misbehavior. I was shocked therefore to find that the University of Nebraska sets one night of the year aside for Coed Follu-i. Per haps the administration be lieves in progressive educa tion, but I think it is only fair to assume that if coeds are going to have folhes, they will do it on their own time without encouragement I should like advice on where to take my problem. JOHN CALVIN Wnr It: rmillT hctrll la caa. tta mmmtt eat MM aiall ae IM OSiea alalia Anmn. 44 Tobacco To the Editor, I don't mind faculty mem bers coming to school in rag ged old suits or unpolished shoes, but I do object to their spitting chewing tobacco all over the desks in their lecture rooms. I have had a 100 increase in my cleaning bills because of these thoughtless professors. And what about having them clean their finger nails ? I hate to think that every pa per I turn in is handled by people with dirty fingernails. FETISH Dear Pheemmlnt, My love belongs to a fra ternity and he's a drunkard. All fraternity boys aren't drunkards but my love is. It's getting to the point where he never calls on me without having liquor n his breath. Now, when we go out he nev er even talks to me except to ask me to open a can of beer or to put more ice in his drink. How long should I endure this? Mother thinks he's a good boy in spite of his drinking because his fath er owns a couple of depart ment stores, but surely they cant expect me to go on like this. What makes it doubly bad is that I don't drink. I haven't had a drop to drink since our pledge class had its initiation blast at one of the girl's hous es is Lincoln. I discovered then that I'm a bora exhibi tionist and so since have nev er had a drop of booze. Help me Pheenamint Help me. MISS SOBER Der Sober, Yoa're a slob. Why doi't yea get drink and stop cry ing ob other peoples shoul ders? a a a Dear Pbeeaamurt, I read in our school paper the other day that there is a secret drinking soronty at the University. This just makes me skk. I love to drink. No one loves to drink more than I do. But now I'm unhappy. I'm not a member of this so rority, yet it's all I want in Lie. Since learning about the sorority I haven't been able to drink a single drop of beer without feeling remorseful. What can I do? I have't have a bad brealh. I'm pretty and I bear that boys think I'm a real w inner. Please give me your advice. MISS SICK own drinking sorority. A good name might be the Black Squares. Dear PheeaamM, My life is ruined. There is this cutest boy who has fallen madly in love with me and to whom I am also deeply attached. There Is a catch though. He has false teeth. It was a child accident or something. There will sever be anoth er love in my life but I cant see french kissing him when his teeth are out.1 Can you offer me a solution? MISS ANXIOUS Dear AmxIobs, Take it from me. Yea dont know what yoa're missing. a Dear Pheenamint, I'm in love with that taS literary figure who writes for the Rag and stars in Univer sity Theatre Plays. How should I go about seeing him? MA PERKINS Dear Ma, What ever yew do, see a psychiatrist first. r Dear Sick, Doa't be aa ass. Start your 1 1 iH A;-.(r. ilXX,-.,JmV,Mmmm Miss Pheenamint Why We like NU Still candal H i S i mm, V, i k- ( a X FBI investigators inspect still As yet there Is no statement from ttm University administration oa the discov ery of a still in the ruins of Ellen Smith HalL Chancellor Clifford HanSout would say only, "School will not be dismissed tomorrow." He denied that those were hiccups which our reported heard ia the background. Everyone else connect ed with the University was reported in disposed. Meanwhile rumors were f lo ati n g around campus. (Reports that the ad ministration was floating around cam pus proved false.) Delta Tan Delta presi dent Tom Nevski called in to say that the Delt bell was confiscated in a re cent raid; be wondered whether if could have been melted down and if so "Tould brass tubing make a good coil. Reports that the still was connected to the Uni versity heating system sent instructors scurrying to radiators but proved ground less. Meanwhile we are waiting breathlessly for the scoop on this scandalous develop ment. Come on, gang, spill the beans. You know how badly we need a good crusade to go on. Hm lBhwr9. la mmtutm mi am ft tS1
