(
Tuesday, May 1, 1956
THE NEBRASKAN
Page 3
Replaces Alex Hamilton:
Thomas Jeffeirsoo
mm
of ball Pew
T
By GEORGE WASHINGTON
Nebraskan Sporting Reporter
Thomas Jefferson, instructor of
football, has been appointed head
MHMMIMMWMIHIMttMai-4kMiMiiHMitfWaHM
NrbrskB Photo.)
JEFFERSON
football professor at Universitas
Nebraskensis.
H will replace Alexander Ham
ilton, late instructor of football,
who was destroyed recently by
the people whom he had previous
ly termed "a great beast." The
people were angered at Hamilton's
failure to produce winning teams.
He now has a job with the First
National Bank.
Jefferson who was recently
president of the United States, said
in accepting the position that he
could not afford to pass it up. The
salary is quite good. "I'll be rich,"
he said.
"If possible," he said, "I would
like to instruct a few classes in
political science and history as I
have done some work in this field,
but I suppose it will be necessary
to 'promote' our school. Because
of this I am going to visit some
home state boys this weekend in
Pennsylvania."
My basic theory of football in
struction, he said, is that all men
are created equal. This means that
they all have two legs and two
arms. Therefore, all men will
tackle all other men making for
more equalitarian athletics.
Jefferson said that he would
probably bring in his footbal as
sistants from his home state of
Virginia. This is in keeping with
my equalitarian approach for it
will make our coaching staff very
much "homogeneous." We will re
sent, however, being called Virgin
nies. In my country, we are not
Sporfs
Shoots
By Al K. Hall
Pictured to the left is the
Great White Spirit of the Ne
braskan, none other than Bruce
Brugmann, shown on one of his
latest "crusades." Brugmann, ac
cording to reliable sources, has
recently shook up the administra
tion by uncovering Dean Hallgren
as a counterspy for the Residence
Halls for Women.
The Western attire that he is
pictured in was given him dur
ing a recent tour of Ag Campus
by an arden fan by the name of
Mitchell.
Up The Creek . .
Crew coach Sam Norgle found
nimself up the creek without a
paddle the other night when for
no reason at all in the middle
of a scheduled workout in the
steam tunnels under the coliseum,
four of the crew team members
abandoned ship and begin to haze
17 Independent channel swimmers who happened to be close by. The
men were later identified as members of Rho Rho Rho; secret men's
brine drinking fraternity.
partial to this sort of frivolty.
One of the things that attracted
me to Universitas Nebraskensis is
is great football tradition. The Ne
braska Indian was a great progeni
tor of football and Sho-Shone teams
were undefeated for hundreds of
years. The first use of the flying
wedge was demonstrated in Cus
ter's Last Stand, he said.
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NU Skeet
Shooters
Enter Meet
University varsity skeet shoot
ers will participate in the annual
Trans-Nebraska Skeet Shoot and
Fire Stomping Field Day, Friday
and Saturday at Buda, Nebraska.
The Field Day will be sponsored
by the North Platte Valley Skeet
Shooting Association.
Clem Hangfire, skeet coach, told
Nebraskan reporters that the
Huskers "ought to blast their way
to victory." Coach Hangfire will
take a squad of 18 to the field day.
Ephriam Glotz, defending Trans
Nebraska skeetman, will lead the
Cornhusker crew. Glotz is unde
feated in his last 37 matches.
Expected to push Glotz for top
honors is Egrek Smalley, who has
finished second to Glotz for the
last 37 matches. Smalley, only a
sophomore, is looked on as the
Cornhuskers best hope in future
years.
Other first-place honors should
come to Greg Stoneheels, All Big
Seven firestomper. Stoneheels is
called "old asbestos" by his teammates.
(Nrbratku Photo.)
Brugmana
Riflers Rifled
The Pershing Rifle team was rifled Saturday in a rifle match
held at the NU rifle range. Their opponents, East Cicero Trade
School combined an unorthodox attack to drop the PR's. Torpedo
Borini, team captain turned in a perfect score for all positions using
a sawed -off shotgun. The number two man. Stilts Casseri won the
revolver division w-ith his snub nosed M-l. Murvyn Schlieferd won
the Annual award, given in the honor of the late Captain Law who
was fatally beaten to death with a blunt swagger stick during a drill
period last year.
It was a moral victory for the Pershing Rifles, however, when
their entire group of officers was knifed when they protested the
outcome.
AH ROTC students are urged to conform to the official dress for
this week ... an official 1919 A 53 semiautomatic air cooled black
arm band mourning the happening.
Jess In Traction . . .
It seems that track coach Frank , ?
Sevigne bas overlooked one of the
finest prospects for his thinclad
quad who is enrolled at the Uni
versity (enrollment is as far as
it goes). This young prospect has
been content to be a supporter
when be could be a real jock.
But I digress. I am speaking of ,
none other than fess Brownell,
who is perhaps one of the better
hot-putters of our time. As a '
matter of fact, just the other
night he put 12 shots away with
no sweat. He also has been known
to broad jump on occasions.
Nebrskan Photo.)
. . . Good-bye Alex
It was leaned today that tons star halfbacks, Belby Renaldo
Thomas Jefferson was recently and Wallie Growlow. The two aces
elevated to the position of profes- are shown dancing down the side
sor of football at Universitas Ne- lines together, a scene very famil
braskensis, replacing Alexander iar to Nebraskensis rodiron back
Hamilton. Hamilton will be em- ers. The two halfbacks should be
ployed by the First National great assets to the Jefferson elev
Bank. en.
During his tenure at the U, Ham- Hamilton is pictured below look-
ilton won one game and lost 200. ing over his great mystic squad.
The Universitas Board of Regi- The agile mentor expressed much
mentals felt that this wasn't too regret and sorrow in leaving his
impressive a record for Little One alma mother. Hamiloton had noth-
Conference football. ing but the best to wish for his
Shown above are two of Hamil- successor, Jefferson.
Huskie Husky
Leads Husker
Head-Rollers
Babe Husky lead the University
Women's Head Rolling team to
v victory against the Colorado Wom
en s College Dames m a just too
thrilling tussel yesterday.
Head Rolling is the new collegi
ate sport originated earlier this
year by the administration. The
athletic department had recently
incorporated it into the roster of
feminine sports including the
sledge hammer throw, multi-mousing
speed run and high step strut
ting. Miss Husky wielded the ax with
great dexterity during the match,
managing to decapitate a total of 13
opponents. "My motto" Miss Husky
said, "is smash 'em."
The game was quite colorful,
the landscape being dabbled here
and there with bright red spots.
The girl's playing ability was
overshadowed only by their lovely
new bloomer suits. The ladies wore
' lace bloomer-shorts, trimmed in
red-rick-rack. The team numbers
'- were aplacied to the pique blouses
' in a delightful shade of red with
white chantilly lace.
" f "4
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Klan
Lon Insect, KKK president stat
ed today that "no fall Revue will
be held next year." In it's place
the Klan members will don their
sheets and burn crosses and ad
ministrative officials or faculty
members if any can be found.
Following the nights events the
Klan will ho.d a soap eating con
test to select a new Chancellor.
No Opponents:
Bellows Gains Star Of Week
Award For Mat Laurels
By JAJI BUKA
Far East Reporter
The matmen ended their regular
season of gruntin'-'n'-groanin' last
week, when two-ton Marv Bellow
threw himself two falls out of
three. j
Bellow, our
Star Of t h e
Week, has been
running out;
o f opponents,
that is, worthy
grapplers, so he
as been wres
tling himself
lately.
Bellow, you
readers may
K.i tlx. w.nt rMAn "
(Nfbraskaa Photo.)1 "111CI1' uiI u 11Ia1" v.icaii nvci.
Bellows the Star of the , Bellow was awarded a special
Week award twice last year, once j Nebraskan Star of the Week plaque
for icing the game during t h e j at the weekly Press Club luncheon
hockey season, and another time j Friday noon, and he immediately
for Weight-lifting. (wrestled the plaque to the floor,
The burly Bellow lifter a spar-1 gaining a pin with 2:34 gone in the
row over his head twice to win second fall, with a step-over toe
the weight crown. hold. At the same time, Bellow
Bellow, interviewed by a Nebras-gave the luncheon crowd some in-
dfZJ
kan reporter after his last triumph,
said, "I get ahead by . . . uh . . .
conservering mah muskles. I . ..
I . . . ah . . . have to. I believe
. . . I believe in a . . . good clean
life ... no back-biting . .. . play
fair . . . size of the dog in the
fight . . . best man always . . .
uh." a
Bellow's trainer, the amiable
mentor, Tiger Tlieegs, said, "Marv
has never taken to them books like
the other boys. He's always been
rough-and-tumble boy. He keeps
himself in good shape, works hard,
plays to win. Tough boy. Real tiger
dication of his prowess, by allso
pinning two dishes of gelatin with
his horned rimmed glasses.
Said 3ellow afterwards: "I owe
it all to my mother." Bellow'
mother is the former Mighty Jose
phine Young of Bronx Park.
Mouthwash
The Editor:
I can't hardly see what all this
fuss is about. This C. Clyde Mit
chell sertanly is not the tipe of
person we want teeching cur young
peepul.
I have a young doghter in Teech
urs Collidge, and I don't want her
to here all them Communyist per
fessors. We older peepul who pay
texas and have bizinesses have a
write to know what is going on up
a your Unyversity.
I think you need your mouth
washed out with tar soap.
Mrs. Roderick LemmingtOB Fltz
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Brownell
The Mayo clinic has gotten to
gether with the NCAA to drawfft
up a set of rules for the coming f1 ' -basketball
season. After many f
auggestions by Fog Allen about
raising tbe baskets to counteract
the giants who are now dominat
ing tbe game, a definite conclus- i i i
ioa was reached. 7T w
After much discussion tbe surgeons convinced the NCAA that
instead of raising the baskets, the sensible thing to do was to remove
one foot of bone from each leg of collegiate cagers.
Sportswriter Max Kreitman's only comment was "there'll be no
bones about it."
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