( Tuesday, May 1, 1956 THE NEBRASKAN Page 3 Replaces Alex Hamilton: Thomas Jeffeirsoo mm of ball Pew T By GEORGE WASHINGTON Nebraskan Sporting Reporter Thomas Jefferson, instructor of football, has been appointed head MHMMIMMWMIHIMttMai-4kMiMiiHMitfWaHM NrbrskB Photo.) JEFFERSON football professor at Universitas Nebraskensis. H will replace Alexander Ham ilton, late instructor of football, who was destroyed recently by the people whom he had previous ly termed "a great beast." The people were angered at Hamilton's failure to produce winning teams. He now has a job with the First National Bank. Jefferson who was recently president of the United States, said in accepting the position that he could not afford to pass it up. The salary is quite good. "I'll be rich," he said. "If possible," he said, "I would like to instruct a few classes in political science and history as I have done some work in this field, but I suppose it will be necessary to 'promote' our school. Because of this I am going to visit some home state boys this weekend in Pennsylvania." My basic theory of football in struction, he said, is that all men are created equal. This means that they all have two legs and two arms. Therefore, all men will tackle all other men making for more equalitarian athletics. Jefferson said that he would probably bring in his footbal as sistants from his home state of Virginia. This is in keeping with my equalitarian approach for it will make our coaching staff very much "homogeneous." We will re sent, however, being called Virgin nies. In my country, we are not Sporfs Shoots By Al K. Hall Pictured to the left is the Great White Spirit of the Ne braskan, none other than Bruce Brugmann, shown on one of his latest "crusades." Brugmann, ac cording to reliable sources, has recently shook up the administra tion by uncovering Dean Hallgren as a counterspy for the Residence Halls for Women. The Western attire that he is pictured in was given him dur ing a recent tour of Ag Campus by an arden fan by the name of Mitchell. Up The Creek . . Crew coach Sam Norgle found nimself up the creek without a paddle the other night when for no reason at all in the middle of a scheduled workout in the steam tunnels under the coliseum, four of the crew team members abandoned ship and begin to haze 17 Independent channel swimmers who happened to be close by. The men were later identified as members of Rho Rho Rho; secret men's brine drinking fraternity. partial to this sort of frivolty. One of the things that attracted me to Universitas Nebraskensis is is great football tradition. The Ne braska Indian was a great progeni tor of football and Sho-Shone teams were undefeated for hundreds of years. The first use of the flying wedge was demonstrated in Cus ter's Last Stand, he said. J ' fr VJ i It f$ 1V ; I h (I V ( ; -V. 1 NU Skeet Shooters Enter Meet University varsity skeet shoot ers will participate in the annual Trans-Nebraska Skeet Shoot and Fire Stomping Field Day, Friday and Saturday at Buda, Nebraska. The Field Day will be sponsored by the North Platte Valley Skeet Shooting Association. Clem Hangfire, skeet coach, told Nebraskan reporters that the Huskers "ought to blast their way to victory." Coach Hangfire will take a squad of 18 to the field day. Ephriam Glotz, defending Trans Nebraska skeetman, will lead the Cornhusker crew. Glotz is unde feated in his last 37 matches. Expected to push Glotz for top honors is Egrek Smalley, who has finished second to Glotz for the last 37 matches. Smalley, only a sophomore, is looked on as the Cornhuskers best hope in future years. Other first-place honors should come to Greg Stoneheels, All Big Seven firestomper. Stoneheels is called "old asbestos" by his teammates. (Nrbratku Photo.) Brugmana Riflers Rifled The Pershing Rifle team was rifled Saturday in a rifle match held at the NU rifle range. Their opponents, East Cicero Trade School combined an unorthodox attack to drop the PR's. Torpedo Borini, team captain turned in a perfect score for all positions using a sawed -off shotgun. The number two man. Stilts Casseri won the revolver division w-ith his snub nosed M-l. Murvyn Schlieferd won the Annual award, given in the honor of the late Captain Law who was fatally beaten to death with a blunt swagger stick during a drill period last year. It was a moral victory for the Pershing Rifles, however, when their entire group of officers was knifed when they protested the outcome. AH ROTC students are urged to conform to the official dress for this week ... an official 1919 A 53 semiautomatic air cooled black arm band mourning the happening. Jess In Traction . . . It seems that track coach Frank , ? Sevigne bas overlooked one of the finest prospects for his thinclad quad who is enrolled at the Uni versity (enrollment is as far as it goes). This young prospect has been content to be a supporter when be could be a real jock. But I digress. I am speaking of , none other than fess Brownell, who is perhaps one of the better hot-putters of our time. As a ' matter of fact, just the other night he put 12 shots away with no sweat. He also has been known to broad jump on occasions. Nebrskan Photo.) . . . Good-bye Alex It was leaned today that tons star halfbacks, Belby Renaldo Thomas Jefferson was recently and Wallie Growlow. The two aces elevated to the position of profes- are shown dancing down the side sor of football at Universitas Ne- lines together, a scene very famil braskensis, replacing Alexander iar to Nebraskensis rodiron back Hamilton. Hamilton will be em- ers. The two halfbacks should be ployed by the First National great assets to the Jefferson elev Bank. en. During his tenure at the U, Ham- Hamilton is pictured below look- ilton won one game and lost 200. ing over his great mystic squad. The Universitas Board of Regi- The agile mentor expressed much mentals felt that this wasn't too regret and sorrow in leaving his impressive a record for Little One alma mother. Hamiloton had noth- Conference football. ing but the best to wish for his Shown above are two of Hamil- successor, Jefferson. Huskie Husky Leads Husker Head-Rollers Babe Husky lead the University Women's Head Rolling team to v victory against the Colorado Wom en s College Dames m a just too thrilling tussel yesterday. Head Rolling is the new collegi ate sport originated earlier this year by the administration. The athletic department had recently incorporated it into the roster of feminine sports including the sledge hammer throw, multi-mousing speed run and high step strut ting. Miss Husky wielded the ax with great dexterity during the match, managing to decapitate a total of 13 opponents. "My motto" Miss Husky said, "is smash 'em." The game was quite colorful, the landscape being dabbled here and there with bright red spots. The girl's playing ability was overshadowed only by their lovely new bloomer suits. The ladies wore ' lace bloomer-shorts, trimmed in red-rick-rack. The team numbers '- were aplacied to the pique blouses ' in a delightful shade of red with white chantilly lace. " f "4 7 , f J- p i Klan Lon Insect, KKK president stat ed today that "no fall Revue will be held next year." In it's place the Klan members will don their sheets and burn crosses and ad ministrative officials or faculty members if any can be found. Following the nights events the Klan will ho.d a soap eating con test to select a new Chancellor. No Opponents: Bellows Gains Star Of Week Award For Mat Laurels By JAJI BUKA Far East Reporter The matmen ended their regular season of gruntin'-'n'-groanin' last week, when two-ton Marv Bellow threw himself two falls out of three. j Bellow, our Star Of t h e Week, has been running out; o f opponents, that is, worthy grapplers, so he as been wres tling himself lately. Bellow, you readers may K.i tlx. w.nt rMAn " (Nfbraskaa Photo.)1 "111CI1' uiI u 11Ia1" v.icaii nvci. Bellows the Star of the , Bellow was awarded a special Week award twice last year, once j Nebraskan Star of the Week plaque for icing the game during t h e j at the weekly Press Club luncheon hockey season, and another time j Friday noon, and he immediately for Weight-lifting. (wrestled the plaque to the floor, The burly Bellow lifter a spar-1 gaining a pin with 2:34 gone in the row over his head twice to win second fall, with a step-over toe the weight crown. hold. At the same time, Bellow Bellow, interviewed by a Nebras-gave the luncheon crowd some in- dfZJ kan reporter after his last triumph, said, "I get ahead by . . . uh . . . conservering mah muskles. I . .. I . . . ah . . . have to. I believe . . . I believe in a . . . good clean life ... no back-biting . .. . play fair . . . size of the dog in the fight . . . best man always . . . uh." a Bellow's trainer, the amiable mentor, Tiger Tlieegs, said, "Marv has never taken to them books like the other boys. He's always been rough-and-tumble boy. He keeps himself in good shape, works hard, plays to win. Tough boy. Real tiger dication of his prowess, by allso pinning two dishes of gelatin with his horned rimmed glasses. Said 3ellow afterwards: "I owe it all to my mother." Bellow' mother is the former Mighty Jose phine Young of Bronx Park. Mouthwash The Editor: I can't hardly see what all this fuss is about. This C. 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