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About The Conservative (Nebraska City, Neb.) 1898-1902 | View Entire Issue (July 6, 1899)
* ' * Che Conservative. 13 NKWSI'Al'ISR WAIFS. "Henry , why do you smoke continu ally from morning until night.V" "It's the only time I get. I sleep from night till morning. " Tit-bits A chance. Husband "I'm going to join another club tonight. " Wife "I don't suppose I'll see you at all after this. " Husband "Oh , yes , they have a ladies' day. " Puck. Mrs. Busybody "Your husband goes out a great deal , doesn't he ? " Mrs. Goodwife "Oh , I don't know ; he doesn't go out any oftener than he comes in. " Yonkers Statesman. "When I rejected Dick ha didn't seem a bit put out. I can't understand it. " "Well , I can. Dick is used to it. He used to write poetry , and get a clozmi rejections every week. " Chicago Tribune. Met His Superior. Hardened Scoun drel "How did you make out at rob- bin1 the train ? " Desperate Villain ( in disgust ) "Done first rate till I go into the Pullman sleeper. Then the porter held me up. " Harlein Life. There must be something in Mr. Car negie's proposition that it is a disgrace to die rich , else the possessors of great wealth would not try so hard to put off the disgrace as long as possible. Bos ton Transcript. "Mamma , what would you do if that big vase in the parlor should get broken ? " said Tommy. "I should spank whoever did it , " said Mrs. Banks , gazing severely at her little son. "Well , then , you'd better begin to get up your muscle , " said Tommy , gleefully , "cox papa's broken it. " Harper's Bazar. THE CHAMPION M FANNING MILL > 4 " % * AND - * - SEED SEPARATOR. It is light running and durable. Hasjj Ma gradual force feed superior to alh < J jj others. . Saves money and labor. Send * : ij I : , for circular and prices. Agents wanted { i 4 in unoccupied territory * * j ; | j Solar JManufacturing Caj j Kauhauna , Kits. Grand Canon of Arizona 220 miles long , 9 to IS miles wide , si mile deep , mid painted like a flower. You may visit that tremendous scene at trifling cost. It is a side trip on route to or from the N. E. A. Convention at Los Angeles this summer. Extremely low rates will be made by the Santa Fe Route. The Grand Canon isonly one of numberless attractions of this exceptional opportunity. - Write for particulars > end free descriptive books. General Passenger Office The Atchison , Topeka & Santa F < it\Railway Chicago \ The Affairs of Europe are faithfully portrayed in the original and exclusive cable dispatches which THE CHI CAGO RECORD prints daily from the leading capitals of the old world. This magnificent special service is in process of being greatly extended so as to include every important city in Europe ; and it is supplemented by the full regular cable service of The Asso ciated Press. The Chicago Record , alone of all American newspapers outside New York city , now prints original and exclusive v , .y cable dispatches daily from - the leading capitals of Europe ,
