The Conservative (Nebraska City, Neb.) 1898-1902, July 06, 1899, Page 13, Image 13

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Che Conservative. 13
NKWSI'Al'ISR WAIFS.
"Henry , why do you smoke continu
ally from morning until night.V" "It's
the only time I get. I sleep from night
till morning. " Tit-bits
A chance. Husband "I'm going to
join another club tonight. " Wife "I
don't suppose I'll see you at all after
this. " Husband "Oh , yes , they have
a ladies' day. " Puck.
Mrs. Busybody "Your husband goes
out a great deal , doesn't he ? " Mrs.
Goodwife "Oh , I don't know ; he
doesn't go out any oftener than he
comes in. " Yonkers Statesman.
"When I rejected Dick ha didn't
seem a bit put out. I can't understand
it. " "Well , I can. Dick is used to it.
He used to write poetry , and get a
clozmi rejections every week. " Chicago
Tribune.
Met His Superior. Hardened Scoun
drel "How did you make out at rob-
bin1 the train ? " Desperate Villain ( in
disgust ) "Done first rate till I go into
the Pullman sleeper. Then the porter
held me up. " Harlein Life.
There must be something in Mr. Car
negie's proposition that it is a disgrace
to die rich , else the possessors of great
wealth would not try so hard to put off
the disgrace as long as possible. Bos
ton Transcript.
"Mamma , what would you do if that
big vase in the parlor should get
broken ? " said Tommy. "I should
spank whoever did it , " said Mrs. Banks ,
gazing severely at her little son. "Well ,
then , you'd better begin to get up your
muscle , " said Tommy , gleefully , "cox
papa's broken it. " Harper's Bazar.
THE CHAMPION M
FANNING MILL > 4
" % * AND - * -
SEED SEPARATOR.
It is light running and durable. Hasjj
Ma gradual force feed superior to alh <
J jj others. . Saves money and labor. Send * : ij
I : , for circular and prices. Agents wanted {
i 4 in unoccupied territory *
* j
; | j Solar JManufacturing Caj j
Kauhauna , Kits.
Grand Canon
of Arizona
220 miles long , 9 to IS miles
wide , si mile deep , mid painted
like a flower.
You may visit that tremendous scene at trifling
cost. It is a side trip on route to or from the N.
E. A. Convention at Los Angeles this summer.
Extremely low rates will be made by the Santa
Fe Route.
The Grand Canon isonly one of numberless
attractions of this exceptional opportunity.
- Write for particulars > end free descriptive
books.
General Passenger Office
The Atchison , Topeka & Santa F < it\Railway
Chicago \
The Affairs
of Europe
are faithfully portrayed in the original and
exclusive cable dispatches which THE CHI
CAGO RECORD prints daily from the leading
capitals of the old world. This magnificent
special service is in process of being greatly
extended so as to include every important
city in Europe ; and it is supplemented by
the full regular cable service of The Asso
ciated Press.
The Chicago Record , alone of all American
newspapers outside New York city ,
now prints original and exclusive v
, .y
cable dispatches daily from -
the leading capitals of Europe ,