The Conservative (Nebraska City, Neb.) 1898-1902, May 04, 1899, Page 2, Image 2
Cbc Conservative. makes a solid , satisfactory and capti vating publicist. Tlio only thing that remains , is to find a person worthy to run for the vice- presidency with Quay on the ticket for first place. Up to this moment there is a good deal of discussion as to whether the nominee for vice-president ought to bo Platt or Stove Elkins. Some of Mr. Quay's more ardent admirers and eulogists think that Governor Tanner of Illinois , being the standard brand of "canned patriotism , " as put up by the Quay packing houses , and the first man who telegraphed his congratulations to Quay upon the lattor's escape from a sentence to the penitentiary , ought to be named for vice-president. These complicated questions now aris ing in the ranks of the McKinley party of "benevolent assimilation" through out the United States are respectfully Times-Herald of Chicago referred to The - cage and other luminous stockholders in the presidential trust as represented by the present "iucnmbrauce , " as he is called by some of his former supporters in the Western states. In a recent do- NO POLITICAL . . _ . . . IIIGAMY. liverauce Colonel William Jennings Bryan declares that political bigamy cannot be tolerated ; that no man can be married to the Chicago platform party until after he is divorced from the gold standard party. This is good precept. But the prac tice of Colonel Bryan is not like his teachings. In 189G Colonel Bryan was a political trigamist ; he married the Chicago nomination , the silver republi can nomination and the St. Louis pop- ulistic nomination and expressed an equal fondness for each. And even now Colonel Bryan would be a polynominee and with the effusiveness of a political Brigham Young swear fidelity and un dying , fervid affection for each. De nunciation of the bigamist by a triga mist is refreshing. FROM TEXAS. ? * ? Independent pub lished at the beautiful and flourishing city of El Paso in Texas contains in its issue of April 17 the following Jeffer- soniau comments : ' 'These new-fangled dollar-a-plate sup per clubs might take unto themselves a few texts , as follows : "Jefferson never favored a dishonest dollar. "Jefferson never voted the populist ticket. "Jefferson never condemned our judi ciary system , or expressed contempt for the supreme court. "Jefferson had a high regard for the constitution , the new-fangled democracy have none. "Jefferson never advocated centraliza tion of power in the hands of the gov ernment. This new-fangled democracy does. "Jefferson never endeavored to read a democratic president , who stood upon democratic principles , out of the party. "Jefferson , the father of democracy , preached as little government and as much freedom and liberty as consistent with the preservation of society. "Jefferson never charged the poor la boring people one dollar per lecture to tell them how you couldn't make 45 cents of silver worth a dollar. "Jefferson never stumped the govern ment for free silver from the rear end of a train furnished him free by the largest railroad corporations in the world. " CAN SUCII THINGS HE ? The Omaha World-Herald , which in 1896 predicted the end of the industrial and financial world upon the defeat of sixteen-to-ouo and the free-coinage silver candidates , is still sobbing with parox ysms of disappointment. But among its groans and sighs there may be occa sionally found a contradiction of its own prophecies of the vintage of 189G. To illustrate , that journal of vagaries re marks , quite recently : "The Burlington and Union Pacific are racing for the possession of a rich territory in northwestern Nebraska. And northwestern Nebraska is tlirowiug up her bonnet and howling at the sight , wishing success to the winner. " Can such things bo ? Shall railroads be permitted to taint the pure prairies of northwestern Ne braska with their serpentine trails ? And can there be citizens of that pop- ulistic propinquity so lost to common sense and common decency that they may be found "throwing up their bon nets" and , like savages , "howling" at this sorry spectacle ? How long are these plutocratic incur sions of competing and corrupting capi tal to be endured ? When will Governor Poynter call out the militia and protect the plain people against this picket guard of the advanc ing army of prosperity ? How long , how long , oh Lord 1 must Nebraska submit to these gold standard outrages ? Friends of im- perlaUsm Wm be pleased t o learn that Emperor William the First , and the official flunkey around the Imperial Pal ace at Washington , are coming to the front with a proper observance of truly royal ceremonials. For example , we point with imperial pride to the dignified and elaborate way in which the entire royal household conducts itself on those painful occasions when it has pleased an inscrutable Providence to afflict His Majesty with a toothache. An impres sive account of what takes place is duly chronicled in the Court Record , other wise known as the Cincinnati Commer cial-Tribune. Its Washington correspondent pendent , under date of April 26 , informs an anxious world that , "The President's teeth have pained him for more than a year. During the excitement attendant upon the war with Spain the pain be came so insistent that the President finally was compelled to take a day off and get a dentist to reconstruct the outer surface and internal economy of the offending molars , cuspids and bicus pids. When the dentist has a day at the Executive Mansion the employees whisper the news among themselves , and business is practically suspended. An hour or so before the arrival of the dentist an attendant brings the pain- producing paraphernalia which are the necessary accoutrements of his profes sion. Upon the arrival of the operator the President is summoned , the machin ery is placed in position and the Chief Executive of the greatest Nation on earth 'goes up against the real thing. ' " Perhaps some of the oldest residents of the country can recall a time when the "Chief Executive of the greatest Nation on earth" was known to have the toothache in cheap Jeffersonian sim plicity , much like other citizens of the republic. That is , he carried his teeth with him , with the grossest informality , and had them patched or pulled on the plebeian premises of a dentist aye , sit ting even in the same chair occupied by the vulgar rabble. A certain Executive named Grant had this low , inferior way of getting his teeth repaired. All things , of course , have so changed now under the new imperial conditions and dignities , that even dental decorum is observed. So vital are His Majesty's molars to the peace and safety of his subjects on two hemispheres that the dental mountain has to come to Moham med ; all public business at the Palace goes into a fearsome trance , while the official family holds its breath and en gages in silent prayer. As we are only in the dawn of Imperial greatness , some of us may hope to see the day when con gress adjourns for a week or so out of compliment to His Majesty's ingrowing nail. The masses of solid foam that appear on the Missouri river are a phenomenon always commented on by the spectators ; the stuff gathers to a thickness of six to eight inches , of about the consistency of baker's bread. It is formed from the streaks of scum on the surface of the water , which again is composed of tiny bubbles , caused by the waves and whirl pools of the river. The condensation into the dense foam in question occurs in eddies and other places where these streaks are driven together by the cur rent , and is purely the effect of pres sure. Volume I of The Transactions of the j Nebraska State Historical Society now I has a quoted market value of $8.00.