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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (March 1, 1911)
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HIS GIRL FRIENDS.
-I 'T' '
I ---i-r - W - - t.
-faw r- -r
- - -" -' C
H. F. GREINER
GROCERIES AND STAPLE DRY GOODS
f ' ' ' '
' Corner Eleventh and Olive Streets ,
-.. -5 1.-
Mark Twain Dearly Loved Chil
dren as Playmates.
THE ANGEL FISH SOCIETY.
An Assortment For the'
Salt Herring Roal and Spiced Herring
Salt Herring Mackrel
Canned Fish. Imported and Domestic
American Brick Swiss
Sap Sogs and Vezet
Our prices are right and in addi
tion we give you a special dis
count on all cash purchases.
Brunken & Haney
OUTWITTED THE ORIENTALS.
An Experience With .mc Customs
Official at Kcrrr.ii shah.
lu eastern lands the collecting ol
customs duea i attended with per
haps more than ordinary fraud. Ir
his book. "From l'.aluin to Caglulnd.'
Mr. W. l. liar: i lias told hi expo.-,
ence with tin chmouis oHicers of Ker
inanshah. The iin-idcur had iLs '
ical feature as well as. its serioii-s les
Two hour.s later than I had intended
tve made a startnud.i'roceediiigthrougli
the long tunnel-like bazaars, emerged
from the town. Here fate had annoy
ance in store for me. At the, local cus
tom house the guards wanted to search
us and make us pay duty on our scanty
I had hired a mule to carry our sad
dlebags as far as Baghdad, using the
owner of the mule, a wily old Aran
who accompanied us. as a guide. These
two, mule and man. the guards abso
lutely refused to let pass without my
bestowing a perfectly illegal and illog
ical baksheesh. This I stoutly refused
to do. aud. knowing that in tte east a
show of temper is of no avail, I swal
lowed my wrath and argued coolly and
collectedly with the soldier.
Soon they confessed that they had
no right to touch either me or any
animal of mine, hut they maintained
that the mule and the rider were both
Arabs and that therefore L could not
This was just what I wanted, and
solved the matter in a minute. I put
the Arab on my horse and 1 lode his
mule. There was no question about it
then. The miards on their own eon
fession could stop neither me nor my
horse, ami we rode jjcietly on amid
the laughter of the ucn to change
our mounts again lifty yards past the
In the Wrong Church.
A Cleveland man ieeMit'y to!d thir.
-tory of the Kev. Stephen H T , . f.j.
nious New York dixiee ..f ;j gei-er.itSoii
A wealthy man came : :u and
said he wanted rent :io of the uut
expensive pew.s in ; clt'irc'i. I'.r.tj"
he added. "I'll :ih i-ie ii en une -.on-ditiou
you mustn't expect me to do
any church work "
The eminent re-. Mr smiled. "My
friend." he replied. "; on have comi; to
he wrong h-.m't. Von l-.-i n- four
blocks down the si .vet. in the church
of the Heavenly Ilest." Cleveland
A Reny"-: Gallery.
"You know Mrs. Vim Cilder's fain
fly portrait gallery that she started
"Well, that ureal riminai dete-tive
flee who -inr,-ed the weddins ptv-s
pnts when Treble Van C.ilder married
the oldest Ie t.r.tft boy i -!i! me that
he recognized seven of ihe portraits
end they bad all done time, whatever
that means." -Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Special Value Sale of
At the New 5c and lOc
March 4, lO a. m.
To those of you who attended our Open
ing Sale, th values you got spoke for
themselves. e absolutely guarantee that
you will get iar more than your money's
worth at this sale. 25c for choice of
articles. Examine our window display.
There will be covered Roasting Pans,
Double Boilers, Dish Pans, Water Pails,
Preserving Kettles, Stew Pans, Coffee Pots,
Tea Pots and Stew Kettles.
Be on Hand Promptly and Get First Choice
New 5c and 10c store
Located In Old ritzpatriok Store !3th Street
KIND CAPTAIN KIDD.
His Wickedness and Buried Treasure
Both Said to Be Myths.
1 loomed to an infamy undeserved,
his name reddened with crimes he
never committed and made wildly ro
mantic by tales of treasure ihich he
did not bury. Captain William Kidd is
fairly entitled to the sympathy of p.is
terily and the r'pologie.-: of all the bal
lad makers :.::i alleged historians who
have obscured the facts in a cloud of
Kate has played the strangest tricks
with the memory of this seventeenth
century seafarer, who never cut a
throat nor made a victim walk the
plank, who was no more than an ama
tour pirate in an era when this inter
est im; profession was in its heyday
and who was hanged at Execution do'-l:
for lh" exicssively unromantic crime
of cracking the skull of his gunne;
with a wooden bucket because, for
sjK'lh. hi majesty's ollicers were tin
able to pr.sve their charges of piracy.
A- for the rich-s of Captain Kidd.
the ri . nil document :: his case, pre
se" hi! among the Mate papers of the
p .blii rocoid oliice in London, relate
.!?' much detail whai booty he had
and "tint he did with it. Alas, they
ree:tl the futurity of the searches aft
er the -.toe- -e-i chest buried above
high a:ei m-u'.: The only authen
tic Kid.I treasure was dug up and in
vcutor'ed i v.-" than :!. years ago. nor
has Un.- slightest clew" to any other
been found since then.- "Komances of
Ruried Treasure"' in Metropolitan Mag
azine. The Snail and the Screw.
It is no doubt true that nearly all hu
man inventions have been suggested
by natural objects. M. Charles Fre
mont of the French School of Mines
points out an interesting example
in the case of the screw, the fun
damental idea of which, he believes,
was snuggled to primitive man by the
spiiai -hell of the edible snail. It was
not th shape of the shell that suggest
ed the screw, but the spiral motion
which it is necessary to give to the
body of the snail in order to with
draw it from the she!'.. This at once
showed that an object of a screw
shape embedded in a solid powerfully
resisted attempts to withdraw it by a
straight pull. The hint was enough,
and the n-u-v became one of the ear
liest of man's inventions. Youth's
He Wanted th Job.
To the colored man who made ap
plication for work he listened and
awaited the finish of the tale of the
applicant's qualifications for the job.
then stalled in this manner: "Well.
I'd like to give you the place, but I'm
afraid 1 can't for you tell me ,ou are
married. I have special reasons for
wanting to give this position to a sin
gle man " "Why. boss." exclaimed the
willing worker, "if dat's de on'y tr.ui
Me. Ah kin git a divohce beiween now
mi" J. hen you all's ready fob me to
Mart in " Art;, .taut
A Delightful and Touching Story About
Littlo Margaret, One of Its Member,
and the Genial Humorist A Pretty
Compact and a Quaint Latter.
Like many another great man, Mark
Twain was fond of children. He never
outgrew childhood, and he always
chose young playmates where they
were to be found. He formed curious
societies of these girl friends. Back
in the nineties, when he was living in
Europe, he created a club which .was
to consist of one (only one) girl In each
country of the globe, the duty of said
member being to write occasionally to
the chief officer, who faithfully replied
to these random and far faring mes
sages. Of course these little girls were
swept into womanhood presently, but
even to the last years of his life the
member who signed herself "France''
remained faithful to the law.
Another club of girls, little girls, be
came one of the chief interests during
his final years. It had its beginning
in Bermuda during one of his frequent
visits to those happy islands. It was
called the Angel Fish club, after a
gorgeous swimmer of those waters, and
he gave to each member an angel tisii
pin as a society badge. It was a, suc
cessful club, and on his return to
America he elected other members,
enough to make twelve in all.
Ilis home at Redding, Conn., Storm
field, had been originally named In
nocence at Home, and as Angel Fish
headquarters Innocence at Home it
always remained. Members with their
parents visited him there, and the bil
liard room, where the "fishes" were
likely to spend most of their time
knocking the balls about, under the
chief member's instruction, was called
the Aquarium, and gay prints of
many Bermuda fishes were hung along
tlie walls to carry out the idea. Each
member had the privilege of selecting
one of these as her patron fish and of
identifying it with her name.
It was in Bermuda one day when he
was walking along the beach with one
of his angel fish members that he pick
ed up a small iridescent double shell,
delicately hinged together. He sepa
rated it and handed his companion half.
"Yon will be going away from me
pretty soon. Margaret." lie said, "and
growing up. and I won't know you
any more. I shall see a great many
Margarets, and now and then one of
them will say she is my Margaret, but
I will say. 'So: you resemble my Mar
garet, but you are bigger than my
Margaret, and I can't be sure.' Then I
will take out this shell and I will say,
'If you are really my Margaret you
will have the other half of this shell,
and it will fit exactly.' Then if she
lias the shell and it fits I shall know
that it is really my Margaret, no mat
ter how many years have gone by or
how much older she has grown."
All this lie said very gravely and
earnestly, and the little girl took the
shell thoughtfully and promised to
keep it always. Next morning when
she came running up to meet him on
the hotel veranda he looked at her
"You look like Margaret." he said,
"but I can't be sure. If you are really
my Margaret you will have a shell I
gave her once the male to this one"
lie got no further. The talisman was
promptly produced, and it fitted ex
actly. He returnedto America, and
somewhat later Marcaret received a
letter one of the pretty letters he was
always writing to children. In it he
I am always making mistakes. When
I was in Xew York six weeks aso I was
on a corner of Fifth avenue and saw a
small sirl not a bic one start across
from the opposite corner, and I exclaim
ed to myself joyfully. "That Is certainly
my Marsaret." so I rushed to meet her.
But as she came nearer I began to doubt
and said to myself. "It's n. Margaret, that
is plain enough, but I'm half afraid it is
somebody else's." So when I passed her
I held my shell so she couldn't help but
sec it. Dear, she only glanced at It and
passed on. wondered if sho could have
overlooked it. It seemed best to find out.
so I turned and followed and caught up
with her and said deferentially. "Dear
miss. I already know your first name by
tfte look of you. but would you mind
telling me your other oncT She was
vexed and said, pretty sharply: "It's
Douglas, it you're so anxious to know. I
know your name by your looks, and I'd
advise you to shut yourself up with pen
and ink and writo some morn rubbish. I
am surprised that they allow you to run
at large. You are likely to get run over
by a baby carriage any time. Run along
now and don't let the cows blto you."
What an idea! There aren't any cows
in Fifth avenue. Dut I didn't smile., I
f idu't let on to perceive how uncultured
slse was. She was from the country, of
course, and didn't know what a comical
blunder she was making.
Margaret, with her 'mother, called
when they returned to America. When
the cards were brought to him he look
ed at hers and said:
"Well, the young lady, her name
seems familiar, but I can't be sure it's
my Margaret without a certain token
which she is supposed to carry as a
proof." The shell came up without
delay. He took the two halves now tr.
a jeweler and had them set in gold as
charms. One of these Margaret wore
on a ribbon about her neck, and the
'other he linked to his watcli chain,
where it remained till he died. What
a sweet fancy it all was!
He spent the last months of his life
in Bermuda in the home of one of his
angel fish. Helen Allen, daughter of
the American vice consul there. She
was ids daily companion, and it will
be her lifelong"' happy memory that
sho brightened and comforted his final
days. Albert Bigelow Paine in Ladies
OlgaSwedish maid of all work, had
curiously defined Ideas regarding prop
erty rights, although she had no ir.
tcntion of being at all dishonest. On
one occasion when it was Olga's after
noon out her mistress said to her
when she was about to depart from
"Olga, I can't find those handsome
silk stockings of mine. HaveTyou seen
"Yes, ma'am, I have them on. 1
know yon stay home today and do not
need them. You can have a pair of
mine to wear yoost around home if
you haf none." Minneapolis Journal.
We give you
We have our Spring
Corset Covers from
Ladies' Gowns from
Muslin Drawers from
A large assortment of
of all kinds. Come in
We also carry a good
hams and Percales.
Laces of all kinds.
Lace Curtains, lull size, 42
3 yards, from
Window Shades, from
THE HENPECKED CLUB.
Queer Methods of a Queer Society In
Of all the queer clubs that exist ic
the world you will find some of the
queerest in Lancashire, England. One
of these is called the Henpecked club.
As the title indicates, its members arc
all males, and yon can come across a
club in almost every Lancashire tuwn
of any size.
The moctincs are held, as a rule, in
some liar parlor, and the discussions
are about members and often non
members who have the reputation ol
being henpecked. When evidence has
been brought to show that a particular
man has allowed himself to come un
der his wife's thumb they tax him with
it in the place of meeting. The presi
dent delivers a lecture on Ihe danger
of a husband permitting his wife to
usurp his position as master, aud when
the others have indorsed his remarks
the person to whom the speeches are
.. .. .......
aauresseu is warned mat ir lie con
tinues to stand the henpecking he will
be made the subject of a demonstra
tion. The nnnouneement that a "ten peck
1" ..Int. .lnmonctmtl.... I.. n (nl- ..lnm
. . . , , ' ' . .'. .' ," ,
is received in the district with iniscil
feelings The men applaud it. and the
IW..1I iruilll.-. It! .111111 fMIUILIl 1I1.IJ.A
that led to trouble, become a little
anxious. On the evening
At... 1 . X,.. ,... .
me iiieiniHT.s in me im meet ni a
public bouse, where they arm them
selves with all kinds of household
utensils; then, led by concertina play- I
ers or a tin whistle laud, they start
out and inarch along the crowded
streets of the district.
One man carries a broom, another a
swab, a third a shovel or a coal
sen tile or a fender or a iniker. Fire
tongs, blacklead brushes, wash tubs,
buckets everything used in the home,
in fact is carried shoulder high. As
they march along to the music in front
and the discordant clanging of their
baggage they sins snatches of songs
In which the name of the victim oc
The mission of the verses, which
have been specially composed for the
occasion by a htcal poet, is to hold up
the henpecked one to ridicule, the rca
foii for Ihe demonstrators bearing the
household goods being, of course, to
remind him that. Inn ins fallen under
petticoat government, he will quickly
liecome the slavey.
When they reach the cottage where
their victim resides they form a circle
in front of the door and sing and
clang their fenders aud coal scuttles
more loudly than ever.
The man inside is invoked by the
president during a h:ilt in the pro
pram to "be a man" and join his
brethren. Sometimes if he looks upon
the affair as more of a joke than any
thing else he does their bidding, and
I hey reform and march to headquar
ters with him at their head. Vsually.
however, his wife appears Instead
with a bucket of soapy water, which
she promptly throws over the demon
strators, or she quickly causes a clear
nnce with a hose pipe.
To the onlooker It is jut an exhibi
tion for laughter and nothing more,
but iM-hiiiil ihe scenes there is general
ly a lot of trouble and heartaching.
A good number of these "henpecked'
demont nit ions have sequels in police
courts. Sometimes It is an enraged
victim being charged with assaulting
a demonstrator, but more often than
not the sequel shows a wife appealing
to the magistrate for a separation or
der. London Tit-Bits.
A Changed Man.
Admiral Capps. addressing a teniper
nnce society, told a story of one of
Ihe best men he had ever known, who
quickly went from bad to worse be-
:ause of excessive drinking until be
became a total wreck.
"One evening," said the admiral,
"this prematurely old. thin, worn out
wan with red rimmed cjres. said, 'Yot:
ire a good. true, noble woman Jenny,
Ind sl'ould have married a better man
than I ;:ni.'
"Looking at him and thinking of
what he once had been she quickly
inswered, 'l did. James.'' New York
Value Received for your money in Quality
Stock of Dry Goods on hand and ready for your inspection. A fine .line
of Ladies' Muslin and Knit Underwear "
.25c to 75c
$1.0O to $2.00
.50c to $1.00
and see our
line of Ging-
. . $1.25 to $2.50
25c to $1.00
WHISTLER IN A RAGE.
Lady Meux Made Him Fairly Splutter
With Anger. )
Whistler painted three portraits of
Lady Meux, one of which, the "Sable
Picture of Lady Meux," is missiug.
That one was the third for which
Lady .Meux sat to thu eccentric artist
The other two are described in the
PeuncH's life of the artist as among
his most distinguished iortraits. I.ady
Mcux "was handsome, of a moro luxu
riant type than the women who usual
ly sat to Iiim." and he 'found for her
harmonics appropriate to hot heauty.
The flrst was an 'Arrangement In
White and Itlack.' which few people
have seen. There is a suiuptuousness
in the black of the shadowy back
ground and the velvet gown, in the
white of the fur of the loug cloak,
that Whistler never surpassed. Whis
tler was pleased with it and spoke of
1 it as his 'beautiful Black Lady Lady
u . , 11C" ""
I onco snt for n soroinl norlrnif. This
time the 'harmony' was in 'Flesh Col-
er and rink,' afterward changed to
Tink and Gray.' "
The missing portrait was smaller.
w "" " ""- -"" """l'-
' could find out, it was never finished,
j m explanation is probably to bo
folin(1 Ilb (i n the
"Life" from Mr. Harper Pennington:
! ..... ... .. -
. . ....- .-, u ......... oi.....r
t I l. mil. l.t.m I citt Tiftlviii- 'atutlir.-
. rt "., i t-..ftlt .i"i of .1 aftfiv.. e9
I - ' !. ,.-. .It. .1 Ollllll. V.
i reply was at a
Lady Meux (for the portrait in sables).
For some reason Jimmy became nerv
ous exasperated and impertinent.
Touched by something lie had said, her
ln1ieli!i'k litriifu! .1 4rn1 l?rt nit1
iwkui iiiiiivii iii luituiu tun ii.
remarked quite softly. 'Sec here, Jimmy
Whistler, you keep a civil tongue in
that head of yours or I will have in
some one to finish those portraits you
have made of me!' with the faintest
emphasis on 'linish.' Jimmy fairly
danced with rage, ne came up to
Lady Meux. his long brush tightly
grasped and actually quivering in his
hand, held tight against bis side. He
stammered, spluttered and finally
gasped out: 'How dare you? now
dare you' Hut that, after all. was
not an answer, was it? Lady Meux
did not sit again. Jimmy never spoke
of the incident afterward, and I was
sorry to have witnessed it."
BLITZ WAS MODEST.
Yet Webster Wouldn't Give the
gician a Treasury Job.
During the presidency of Mr. Tyler
I had occasion to call on Daniel Web
ster, then secretary of state.
Glancing at my card, he turned and
readily extended his hand with, "Wel
come, signor! No hocus pocus among
my papers," covering them with his
After explaining to him my object I
received the required information We
laughed and chatted a few minutes,
and I was about to retire when I men
tioned that I was an applicant for
office and hoped I could rely upon his
influence in the matter.
"You, a magician, an otlice seeker.
"There is only one, sir, I aspire to;
all others I should refuse without re
gard to their emoluments."
"Well, what one is that?" questioned
the great statesman in his deep and
"Counting the treasury notes, Mr.
"The treasury notes, signor?"
"Yes, sir. You might give me 100,
300 to count and watch me closely, but
you would find onlj 73,000 when I re
"Signor." be exclaimed, with lively
animation, "there Is no chance for
you; there are better magicians here
For there would not bo
after their counting!"
From "Life and
Adi-cntures of Signor
A Well Uone Jod.
"Is she well married?"
"I shonM ay so She's beeu trying
for years to get a divorce and can't."
Persistent people begin their stxcccm
.vhere others end In fallare. Edward
Our Goods are the Best of Quality and Tou
Will Save Money by Buying From tfl
4 packages Corn Flakes 25c
1 pound Chocolate 39c
Now is the time to buy your SUGAR;
PER SAQK $5.00
Flour has never been as cheap as this
for years; per sack $1.25
5 pounds of good Rio Coffee $1.00
A No. 1 extra fine Santos Coffee, a good
value at 30c per lb., 4 lbs. for $1.00
Island Herring, the best of its kind,
about 3-4 lb. each, 1 dozen for 50c
Extra fine Smoked Herring, 6 for 25c
Bob White Soap, the best white soap
made, 6 bars for 25c
7 boxes of Rex Lye 50c
Lenox Soap is where you get full value
for your money, 7 bars for 25c
A Full Line of Dried Fruit Always on Hand
LIGHTNING VERSUS STEAM.
Testing the Telegraph In the Early
Days of Its Invention.
Years nco. when the electric tele
graph was a new idea and a mystery
to the masses, there came trouble one
: Saturday night In the Bank of Eng
land, l tie uusincss or ine uay naa
f closed and the balance was not right.
J There was a deficit of just 100. It was
' not the money, but the error, that
j must be found. For the ollicers and
! the clerks there could be no sleep until
I the mystery had been cleared up. All
that night and all Sunday a force of
men were busy; money was surely
gone from the vaults, but no one could
On the following morning a clerk
suggested that the mistake might have
occurred in packing for the West In
dies some boxes of specie I hat had
been sent to Southampton for ship
ment. His chief acted on the sugges
tion. Here was an opportunity to test
the powers of the telegraph -lightning
against steam, and steam with forty
eight hours the slart. Very soon the
telegraph asked a man in Southamp
ton, "Has the ship Mercator sailed?"
The answer came back. "Just weigh
"Stop" her in the queen's name."
flashed back the telegraph. "She Is
stopped." was returned.
"Have on deck certain boxes (marka
givem. wcirm them carefully and let
me know Che result." telccraphed the
This order was obeyed, aifd one box
was found to be somewhere about one
pound and ten ounces heavier than its
mates Just the weight of the missing
sovereigns. "All right. Let the ship
go!" was the next order.
The West India house was debited
with the 100 and the Bank of Eng
land was at peace again. Harper's
Hallucinations of Henbane.
Henbane bears a remarkable reputa
tion for creating the most extraordi
nary hallucinations. Dr. Houlton re
lates that sonic monks who ate the
roots by mistake for parsnip-; trans
formed their monastery into a lunatic
asylum. One monk rang the bell for
matins at midnight, and of those of
the community who attended some
could not read, others "fancied the '
letters were running about like ants."
and some read what was not in their
books. Even the exhalations from
these pretty but very ioisoiiotis flow
ers produce these weird effects. West
THE MARCH DESIGNER will
will help you fulfill your plans
There are pages and pages of
Advance SpringFashions. fresh,
charming, irresistible. Things
that you can make.
"The Economies of Dressmaking" tells how to Make a
Lining, how to Fit and Finish a Waist, how the Skirt is
Handled. Points helpful to home dressmakers.
Entertainment for children on many a rainy day; strong
articles, and interesting stories for grown-ups.
Buy THE MARCH DESIGNER today. Better let us
have your subscription and save money.
10c a Copy, 75c a Year
505 Eleventh Street
Caustic Soda Usnd to Destroy Warn
Out French Currency.
Everybody knows that wornout
banknotes in this country are destroy
ed by maceration at the treasury de
partment, but the maimer in which the
notes of the Bank of France are de
stroyed is probably not so weU known.
At the head otlice of the Bank of
France there is a permanent tribunal
before which all doubtful paper is
brought. The tribunal writes "anale"
on the faces of the banknotes. The
judgment is countersigned by the
treasurer, and they arc taken to the
cellars in which the printing office is
situated. In the presence of tho bank's
official they are brought out for an
nihilation. Distributed one by one into
baskets, the condemned notes are emp
tied into a great cylinder half Died
with water and caustic soda.
The orifice of the cylinder is then
locked and set in motion. It turns for
two days, at the end of which time
the officials who presided at the be
ginning of the operation return to wit
ness the end of the dotes.
Furnished with a long spoon, a work
man thrusts into the depths of the
cylinder and withdraws a thick, steam
ing liquid, which he pours into a thin
basin. Another workman approaches
with a similar spoon, with which be
stirs the stuff around to make sure
not a remnant has been left of the
notes. When the banknote soup has
been reduced to paste it is sold for $1
a hundred kilos, about 200 pounds, al
though the paper at one time cost $5
for two iouiids. Washington Herald.
amoKing Before Meals.
People will persist in smoking, even
after they have read the following;
from that eminent authority, the Lon
Smoking just before meals Is to be
deprecated, because the pungency of
the pyroligneus products contained In
tobacco smoke renders the buccal mu
cosa insensitive to alimentary stimula
tion. In fact, the effect is to dull or
'.holish the olfacto-gustatory reflex,
thus depriving us of what Tawlow'
rails "appetite juice."
"Do you believe In all the views you
"es." replied Senator Sorghum,
after sum" hesitation. "I tlo. but I
doubt whether a less skillful rcasoner
than .myself would he able to convince
me of the correctness of some of
iiu.m " Washington St-ir.
m MAKCH 1911