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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 9, 1910)
Y John Henry's 3 Wedding By GEORGE V. HOBART a CIari J. liad said "jn" and the next evening I waded into the Van vivver mansion to drag Papa's and Mamma's consent away from them. So long as I played light comedy roles I knew I was a hot favorite with the old folks at home, but when it came to doing a leading part and walking off with the daughter, I be gan to get uneasy for fear they'd reach for the egg basket and hand me a few unripe scrambles. When I squeezed through the por tiere I found the old lady and gentle man very biisy discussing their plans for a summer trip. "Where are you going to spend the Bummer, John?" inquired Father, giv ing me a limp paw, which I shook hurriedly and then handed back to him. Here was an opening a grand chance to butt in right at the go off. "Well, to tell you the solemn, we haven't decided yet." I answered. "VR:b they both echoed. "Why. John, I thought you were playing a lone hand?" said the oid gentleman. Ti always known you as a yn:ng man who could walk up and do. n Kasy street without a guardian or a time-card. Tin's is the first tim' I ever heard you speak of u pull hick! Whence the Wll?" "I alvavs thought you were free to go and come as on pleased. John,' the old Indy put in. Hen- was my chance to climb the family tree and knock i!c.vn the fruit. but lor some leaFon or other the j blood seemed to rush to my voice, und I wnt backwards like a crab. I'apa had fixed me wilh his steel blue ey s, and I could see by mother's expression that s5m was beginning to set me back as one of those double life leaders. My eol!:r bt gnu to faint and my hands grew nervous and wanted to light eaih other. "The fact is, ladies and gentlemen cr I mean Mr. Vanvivver. and you. loo. Mother cr that is " Then I grabbed a cat-fish grin and sat there till 1 us'l it all up. I was over the edge. Fay. this, marriage business is immense aft.-r the whistle blows, but the preliminaries make me Kick "You eeem to be a little to the bad tills evening. John," said Father, and M 'inma began to shake her head, ns though -he had a mental tintype of me far out on the road to ruin, and walking fast I went at then': again. "As a mat ter of fact, I meiely dropped around this eveni"g to inquire if you could that is to say. if it is possible for you to give me to give me your your er " Overboard again and not a life pre server in sight. It v.:is pitiful. ".Most extraordinary attack of hesi tation I ecr knew you to have," sail Father, while Mamma simply sat there and tocussed me with her sad, re proachful lanterns "Perhaps you need something to brace ou up," suggested the old gen tleman. I m ed d a sanitarium and a corps of efficient physicians, but I didn't Bay so. At tint moment I was doing a chump act never before equalled in the history of the world, lly eyes looked like a couple of vacant lots and I had reversed grins, and was now uing the style most affectej by a stuffed leopard. "1 he bov may be suffering from incipii nt brain fover, or is he in love?" whispered the old lady. "Huh!" exclaimed Papa; "in love, eh? That's it. When's the wedding? who's the girl? Sorry to lose you. John, but the best al friends must part In the divorce court. Ha, ha!" ' That cackle went right through me and splashed on the wall behind me. The old man was a fierce joke pusher. "Come on now. John." he con-! tinned: "who is she? Have you told ' 'Clara? She'll be lonely, for you aro certainly the best time killer she ever had. Speak out; we are your friends, ' .The Minister Made Me Rush Out and Sign the Pledge. even if you are going to pass us up." "It was good of you, John, to come to us with the news first Wasn't it, .Absalom?" smiled the old lady. Father nodded his head vigorously, and there I sat with my mouth wide open a regular Charlie Foolishface. I wanted to speak, but every word In my body was back-pedalling. It was scandalous. If I had realized what it meant to go up against an unuspectlng family council I certainly woulJ have coaxed Clara J. to elope. Then ! could have sent her beloved parents a postal card, breaking the awtul news thus: "May I have your daughter? Thanks. I have her now. Last tag, you're It." I began to recover consciousness slowly, and muttered, "You have me sized wrong. "That 1 want to ask you is may I " Just then Tacks rushed in with a whoop. "Pop! Mom! What d'ye think? John Henry and Clara Jane are going to get married!" "Greenwood cemetery no flow ers!" I murmured, and waited for the ast. After a painful pause I opened ;ny eyes and said, "What's the answer?" Papa and Mamma had risen and were giving me the look-over with a side smile 1 couldn't quite understand. "What's the answer?" 1 repeated, prepared to duck and avoid a rush of furniture to the he?d. Papa placed Mamma's arm gently under his own and started away. At the door the old gentleman turnel and said, "John, it's up to you!" Then they both chuckled and left me flat. If ever that boy Tack needs' a friend I'm for the job, sure thing! Two or three evenings later I pick', d my way into the house be tween double rows of messenger boys and dry goods deliverers; fell ever about eight tons of packages, and, after divers iwils by land and sea. finallj drifted into tin? parlor. There j j W.-tKt I '- L Mi U& "What I Want to yat Marietta Dawson, telling Clara J. all she had ever heard. Marietta was to be the rnaid of honor, but to hear her talk you'd think she was the leading lady. That girl had the busiest voice I ever heard. She certainly wa3 a hard worker with the gab. "Evening, ladies!" I said. Clara J. gave me a spectral sort cf a smile and Marietta shook her back hair at me. then they clinched. "llut I'm afiai.l. Marietta" Clara J. was at the bat "that I may not look well in ivoiy white. I do wish, Marietta, that I had chosen the other shade; and the train. Marietta; don't you think two yards too long for me? Now do tell me! I'm sure it will be. Oh. Marietta, do you think that old lace will be as becoming as the fresh tulle would have been?" "Nice evening!" I suggested, but they had forgotten I was in the room. "Why, Clara Jane!" gurgled the girl with the speuJthrift tongue, "you know that your old point will turn all the women green with envy. I'm sure nothing on earth could persuade me to think of a tulle veil when I had such perfectly exquisite lace. Now there was Helen Duval you remem ber when Helen was married? She had one of these " Then Marietta pulled the throttle wide open and took us to Helen's wedding and back again and all over the place. It was cne of the longest and noisiest journeys I ever made. "Got any wood for me to saw?" I interrupted after a bit. I was tircj cf playing solitaire. "Pardon us." said Marietta, giving me enough eye-ice to keep me cut ting for a month: "we are so busy!" Then to Clara J., "what did you say. dear?" Clara J. grabbed her cue. "Really, now. Marietta, do you think that the sleeves are clever? I think a frock with toot sleeves is an abomination." "Just think of being married in sleeves that were not absolutely smart!" cried Marietta. Her voice seemed to have a high fever. "And the lines of the skirt," Clara J. went on; "do you think they are good? You know a wedding dress should have goo J lines. Marietta; good, sweeping lines. Of course I know the design was good; but made up. Marietta, do you think it will be good mad up?" "When do you expect to get those glad garments cooked up?" I ven tured; but all the wires were down in my direction, and I got no answer. Clara J. took out. her hammer and began to tap the bridesmaids, while Marietta held the anvil, so I got up sideways and went home. It was the most cruel game of freeze-out I ever sat In. All in good season the presents be gan to show up. One evening the min ister, who was a friend of the family, dropped in to see if they would suit Nearly everybody I knew had sent us a cut-glass decanter, and be made me rush out and sign the pledge. With the exception of two or three of these present, the wedding was the happiest affair of the kind I ever at tended. I was one of the exceptions. When the fateful hour drew nigh my heart crawled up in my throat and refused to go back home. I suppose it wanted to see the show. As I stood near the chancel waiting for the bride to come and get me, I felt like a bottle of ketchup with the cork out. It 6cemed to me that ev erybody in the world was giving. me the fish eye. I couldn't remember whether I should wear my hands in my pockets or in my mouth, so I tried both styles. Fresently I caught the eye of Syd ney DeOrie, and he didn't do a thing but throw off a grin that nearly put me out of the wedding business. Sydney was one cf the ushers, but he should have been away back sit ting down at his work in the soap factory. He was one of the Five Lit tle Shines who used to drop in on Clara J. of an evening and tease her wilh their talk. I den't know why I ever consented to let that human po tato salad be an usher. He couldn't ush for sour pickles. All he could do was to put his face where I could see it and let tired Nature do the rest About this time Hilly DeVries, my best man. began to wilt I didn't dare look nt him. but I knew that mentally he was yelling for ice water. Outwardly be was very nervous, and he put in his spare time trying to chew his necktie. Still, the thought flashed over me that Hilly, being a college graduate and a football survivor, showed won derfu! relf-control in confining him self to a conflict between his teeth and his necktie. It's a wonder he didn't give the minister the low tackle and try for a touchdown. Then the procession came down the aisle, and the bell rang for the wind up. Clrra J. was a dream. I played an alarm clock. One of the bridesmaids got gabby and wanted to talk her way into the main tent, but all around her were kind-hearted people, so she wasn't pinched. Pietty soon the minister sprung that old gag on me about the ring. and I suppose for a moment he Ask You Is, May I" thought he had me, but I fooled him. I know it's customary for the bride groom to get so rattled that he loses the ring, so I wasn't taking any chances. The day before the wedding I bought eight rings, and when the battle was raging I had them stored I away in every pocket and a spare one in each shoe. No fumble on the ring net for me! No matter in which direction I dipne' I was sure to fish up a ring. 1 think I'll get this idea patented. I Ta- n the minister made a few cracks at us. but we called him eery time, politely but firmly, and present ly he handed us a card and said we were duly elected members of the Married People's Union. Immediately thereafter we all went ' home in a flock of hacks to take a fall out cf one of the finest wedding break fasts that ever came off the griddle. For one little moment Clara J. and I were alone in the library. "Did I do all right?" she asked eag erly. "You! The limit!" 1 said. "You looked like a queen. But, wait! Stop the wagon! Why. bless me, in the excitement of a quick finish nobody had time to kiss the bride!" She put her face very, very close to mine anil said with the sweetest of smiles, "Once more, John. It seems to be up to you!" (Copj right by G. W. Dillingham Co.) Those Detained. "So your proposed home-coming week has been declared off?" "Yes." "What was the reason?" "Foaie of our best known n?tive sons couldn't coroo back." "Why was that?" "Ahem! Well, if you insist on know ing, the governors of ten or twelve states were stingy with their par dons." Deduction. "Are you anything of a Sherlock Holmes?" "Nope; why?" "I was just looking at that man carrying that alligator leather sarchel on his shoulder: I'll bet he hardly ever loses his temper." "Why?" "He has such a good grip on him self." "Wonderful!" True Lcve. "She is engaged to a wealthy young college man. Isn't she?" "Yes, and they are going to get married next week." "Why. I thought the wedding was set for the holidays?" "It was; but she insisted on hurry, ing It tip; he Is a football player, and he might not be alive after Thanks giving. Then she'd be broke." Not Unanimous. "Do you know Daubbs?" "Tea. I believe he's an artist' "That's more than anybody elst does." TVOTfS LmHAAt fyMLffir What a time some poultry keepers have trying to get rid of scaly legs among their fowls. All kinds of "dope" is recommended, even to catching the hens and applying salves and other things from one to half a dozen times. An old can with a little kerosene in it will do the business. A little old grease may be added. One dipping of the affected bird's legs in this will end the scales. The early hatched pullets will begin laying eggs soon and as they are ex 'pectcd to furnish the Tor": of the winter eggs, prepare ample quarters for all the young stock. To prevent crooked breast bones the young fowls should have poles about three inches around or flat rails or lath three or four Inches wide. Those who expect to make their young chickens grow vigorously and their hens lay well must forget that they require an abundance of mineral foods and supply them with all they need. It is cheaper than any other feeds, but just as essential. There is no excuse for not having perfectly well-ventilated poultry houses because they are inexpensive and require not much time to build them. Warmth in the poultry houses should be sacrificed for ventilation if that is necessary. The number of eggs that a goose will lay and the fertility of those eggs is largely determined by the care given the breeding birds during the winter months. If they receive prop er care the reward of the caretaker Is sure. The farmer who takes reasonable pains to show the hired man the best methods of working will not only be the gainer himself, but will be giving help to a fellow man who will prob ably remember it all his days. If nothing better can be had, milk may be aerated by placing the cans In a trough of cold water and dipping the milk with a long-handled dipper and pouring it back Into the can un til It Is thoroughly cool. For the past two or three years the earliest chicka have been somewhat difficult to raise. Hatches have also been poor, but with all these uncer tainties it pays to get them just as early as you can. Don't winter over a lot of old ens. One year olds do the best laying, al though two-year-old hens often do very well. Kill off all the hens this fall that were hatched previous to 1909. Plowing is very much more effective when the soil is moist enough to pul verize well than when it is too dry. Turning hard clods of earth upside down really does very little good. The most expensive mnnurial sub stance the farmer has to purchase Is the commercial fertilizer which con tains nitrogen, such as nitrate of soda, guano, tankage, etc. Don't buy a heavy colony with few bees: buy a colony that ha3 honey enough to last until the honey flow sets in, and see that the colony has plenty of bees. Do not omit cleansing the separator every time after using; neglect in this will impair the efficiency of the ma chine and damage the quality of the cream. Pekln ducks aro creamy white In color and should have orange yellow colored beaks; deep blue eyes, with orange colored shanks and toes. A gcod way to make artificial shade is to drive four stakes in the ground and rip a burlap sack and stretch It and fasten corners tc stakes. The oil can. prorerly used, is one of the greatest money makers, or rather, money savers, on the farm. Keep the machinery well oiled. See that the cow's udder is thor oughly clean before beginning to milk. The way to get the largest returns from the hens is to give them the best care, especially the most careful feed ing. The best known remedy for gumbo soil is to put onto it an abundance of strawy manure. When sows are raising two litters of pigs a year, their pigs also require special care. There is no animal on the farm that will add to It like sheep. When you commence preparing for your spring chickens save your set 'ting eggs from hens one or more years old. Keep eggs for hatching free from oil or grease. A very little of either will spoil the "hatch." One way to rid the chicken yard from rats Is to always keep it neat and free from rubbish. Whitewash in the hen house buries mites and their eggs. Try It Jfic!ftssssW- yissssK IsV5?sV5r J VUHhUP iaBBSf'SBSBSSSSSSSShX') IT T Blackhead, la whatever species of bird It may be found, presents three symptoms which are invariable first diarrhoea, at some stage of the di sease; second, a condition of increase ing languor or stupor, together with isolation from companions in the flock; third, loss of appetite and more or less prolonged emaciation. The presence of these symptoms In his birds suggest to the poultryman who is on his guard that the disease has entered his flock. More than one-half of the com plaints regarding dairy cattle coming through the winter In a poor. thin. I emaciated condition is due directly to- their being kept out too long In the pasture and fields and then changing, them suddenly by putting them In. their winter quarters and feeding" them a ration of hay. dry forage and fodders. Methods of treating poultry diseases, do not, at the present time, rest upon very secure foundations: and, even if certain measures for treatment are known to be effective, the average poultryman does not have the time to undertake treating his birds in the manner that is required. It Is safe to say that never has! there been such Interest taken In Jer-. seys throughout the entire country as has characterized the past twelve months. In some sections in the west j breeders and importers have not been; able to meet the demands for thet breed. A vigorous male will Fervc we'l about sixty does, although some breed era allow seventy-five or even more The breeding season should ho ir. November and up to the middle or December, as this will bring the kids along In March and April. Fowls that are confined In limited) quarters must he watched carefully orj the ground will become contaminated' and filthy. Frequent spadings an! good but changing yards and reeding to rape or some thick growing cropi is better. By good care and proper feeding, several dollars may be added to the: value of any calf during the first' year. The total Increase by this means would amount to millions of dollars to the dairy farmers of the. state. It certainy will pay to keep a cow that Is in full flow of milk In a cool, dark stable in the daytime during the hot season, when flics seem to wean the very life out of her; then attend to feeding and watering her. Every dairyman should raise the. heifer calves of his best cows and not; depend on anybody's offerings to re plenish his herd. It is absurd to sup-; pose that he can buy cows as reason-j able as he can raise them. Far too many sheep owners follow; the practise of securing a ram of fair appearence but with little pretentlonsi to good breeding, because such a ramj can always be picked up cheaply Inj almost any community. i i It is not necessary to have a large) farm and running water for ducks to swim in. They will do well if they have plenty of water to drink. A low marshy place is the ducks' para dise, however. J Success will not come the first year. In fact. It takes two or more vears to cet started In the poultry imcinncc nnrt then vnn must keeni everlastingly at It to make a suc-j cess. The farmer who says that hens are; a nuisance generally speaks the truth I as far as his individual experience! goes. His method, or lack of method, makes them a veritable nuisance.' Cats are quite fond of little chicks, and once they get the habit they can" destroy and devour as many chicks asj any other animal that preys on the; feather tribe. If you keep cress bred or mongrel liens buy a well built, vigorous male' and see how much bigger, better lay--ing. more uniform the chicks will be next summer. Brood sows will nose through three inches of snow to get the green bite; and will range about on their feet for1 hours, which is in fact the main ob-i ject The returns from a farm the amount of money one can make pen acre depends as much upon the man! himself as upon other conditions. A sudden change in the way or feeding or in the care of chickens will materially affect the egg yield. Usual ly it will cause a decrease. Equal parts of boiled corn, oats and wheat, with now and then the addition of table scraps, makes a good egg pro ducing ration. The fundamental principle in the, preservation of green forage when placed In a silo, is the exclusion of' air. At this writing bees are gathering honey from the second crop of the alfalfa bloom. Lice will eat into your profits by' stopping the egg supply and killing: the chicks. Don't harvest and store a lot tV weed seed this winter. The queen is all-important to a col-, ony. If your queen is good you are', sure of a crop if the other conditions are right The chicks that are on free range will do well with plenty of cracked! corn, wheat and oats. It stands to reason that breeding from immature sows, will result in' pindling. weak pigs. Dairy judgment and study will do the dairyman lots of good. DOCTORS .ADVISED 0PERAT10H DECIDED TO TRY MEAT KIDMEY REMEDY I want to tell yoa in a few words what roar Swamp-Root did for me, believing that my testimony may do some other suf fering person a great deal of good. About six years ago, I was dangerously 01, consulted three doctors, all of whom aid I bad kidney trouble. One of the doctors analyzed my urine and reported that I hsd gravel, and further said that ia order to regain my health and life, an operation would be necessary I did not want to be operated on as I was afraid that I would not recover. Someone told me of Dr. Kilmer's Swamp-Root and said it was a reliable medicine for kidney trouble, so I decided to try it and went to Mr. Hose, the dnifgwt, at 303 Central Ave., Minneapolis, and bought a bottle, tcok it, noticed results and continued taking it until I was entirely cured. Having been free from any kidney trouble for over six years, I consider that I am absolutely cured and know that Swamp-Root has the credit. I never fail to tell my friends about your remedy, as I believe it is the best of its kind. Your U & O Ointment is also very good. We are never without a jar in our house. Yours very truly, MRS. MARGARET E. ANDERSON", Minneapolis, Minn. State of Minnesota I County of Hennepin ) ' Personally appeared before me this 23rd day of Sept., 1909, Mrs. Margaret E. Anderson of the City of Minneapolis of the State of Minnesota, who subscribed the above, and on oath rays that the same i-j true in substance and in fact. M. M. KERRIDGE. Notary Public. Commission expires March 26, 1914. VtUtrtm T. sUarr C Prove What Swamp-Root Win Do For Yoa Send to Dr. Kilmer &. Co.. Bingham ton, N. Y., fcr a sample bottle. It will convince anyone. You will also receive a booklet of valuabls information, telling all about the kidneys ami Madder. When writine, be sure and mention this paper. For sale at all drug stores. Price fifty cents and one-dollar. One of the Best Rest Cures. Is a good story. To many women it is as good as a trip away from home. When you are tired out and your nerves are on edge, try going off by yourself and losing yourself in some good story. You will, in nine cases out of ten, come back rested and in t igorated. One woman who has passed serene ly through many years of hard work and worry that go with the managing oi a house and bringing up of a large family of children, said that she con sidered It the duty of every busy housekeeper to read a certain amount of "trash." light fiction, for the rest and change to the mind that it would give. Try it, you who lead a strenuous life, and who sometimes grow exceed ingly weary of tbe same. Getting a Reputation. There is a desk in the senate par ticularly convenient as a place from which to make speeches. It is next to the aisle and almost In the center of the chamber, and affords an oppor tunity for the speaker to make every body hear. At least a dozen senators, accord ing to the Washington correspondent of the St. Louis Star, have borrowed this desk when they had special utter ances to deliver to the senate. This led, not long ago, to a mild protest from its legitimate occupant. "I am perfectly willing to give up try desk," said he, "but I am afraid people will think that the same man Is talking all the time. I don't want to get the reputation of constantly filling the senate with words." Youth's Companion. Not Easy. Pat was a married man a very much married man. He bad married no fewer than four times, and all his wive were still in the fore. Accord ing to Pat's own account before the ' court where he was tried for bigamy and iound guilty, his experiences were not altogether satisfactory. The jiibge, in passing sentence, expressed his wonder that the prisoner could be such a hardened villain as to de- lude so many women. i Yer honor," said Pat, apologetical- I Iy, "I was only tryln to get a good one, an it's not aisy!" Lipplncott's Magazine. Some folks never feel saintly until '.hey have a chance to syndicate their sorrows. Deserved the Shoes. The weary va; farcr leaned over the fence and watched the housewife do ing her chores. "Ah, lady." be said, tipping his hat. 'I used to-be a professional humorist. If I tell you a funny story will you give me an old pair of shoes?" "Well, that depends." responded the busy housewife; ":-ou mu3t remember that brevity is tbe soul of wiL" "Yes. mum, I remember that, and brevity is the sole of each of my shoes, mum." Natural Query. Mrs. Thynn Don't you think I look plump In this gown?- Tbynn Yes. Did you have it made at an upholsterer's? Anaemia is often temporarily mis taken for virtue. They who talk much of dying are usually dead already. MUNYON'S EMINENT DOCTORS AT YOUR SERVICE FREE We sweep away all doctor's charges. We put the best medical talent within everybody's reach. We encourage everyone who ails or thinks he ails to find out exactly what his state of health is. You can get our remedies here, at your drug store-, or not at all, as you prefer; there i positively no charge for examination. Professor Munyon has prepared specifics for nearly every disease, which are sent prepaid on receipt of price, and sold by all- druggists. Send to-day for a copy of our medical examination blank and Guide to Health, which we will mail you promptly, and if you will answer all the questions, returning blank to ns, our doctors will carefully diagnose your case and advise you fully, without a penny charge. Address Munyon's uoctors, Munyon's laboratories, 53d a Jeffe m a a Y V 1 Y Streets, rnuaaeipnia, ra. $65829 Given Away Tor forming- the scat -words vita tt letters contained ia the two words: VICTORIA CLEANSER Tliis great educational contest vfll terminate Norcmbcr 19th. 1910, ao ait down right now and write out yoav list. We want to make VICTORIA CLEANSER The MoatExtanalvaK Dead Cleans rontlia Market. This content is ono of the means we arewmplojlnif to do It. Go to your grocer and ask Bin for a can of Victoria Cleanser. 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