The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, March 20, 1907, Image 4

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.71
WXDMHDAY. MABCH 30. 1W7.
By Motor to
Slowdown
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R. a STROTHER, .. Editor
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OUSK IN ADDBKBB-Whaa ontari a
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If we have a few more such beauti
ful days as we had St Patrick's day
last Sunday, our lawns will allsoen
be wearing the green again.
The recent explosion of the French
battleship Iena., with the loss of
one hundred and twenty-five lives,
makes us remember the Maine again.
The Japanese San Francisco school
question is settled. Japs can go to
die same schools as whites, but the
Chinese must still go to the separate
schools provided for them.
During Ue past week there has been
quite a stock panic in Wall street It
has not affected any other part of the
country, but during such times the
financing of power canals is out of the
question.
It is conceded by all that Platte
county ought to have a new court
house, a safety vault for its valuable
records, a place secure against fire and
against burglars, and proper office
rooms for the officers. If the people
of Columbus were to drop all discus
sion of the probable location of the
new building and would trust to the
good judgment of our board of super
visors, there is every probability of
the taxpayers of Platte county voting
bonds to build one.
The republicans have nominated J.
H. Galley for councilman in the Sec
ond ward, and the democrats named
S. J. Ryan. The Journal has not a
word to say against Mr. Ryan, but Mr.
Galley has had so much experience in
municipal matters, and in all cases
shown a sound and correct judgment,
and has devoted so much of his time
in the interest of the city, that really
we think he deserves re-election with
out opposition. It is well known that
Mr. Galley will not make any effort
to be re-elected, but the residents of
the Second ward should, as a matter
of personal interest, return him to the
council this spring.
Columbus is known as one of the
oldest towns in the state, it is known
as one of the best business towns as
well, a town that has never had a
boom, but a steady growth. It is oft
en spoken of as a town of many
saloons, having a large foreign popula
tion. Columbus is now making a re
cord, and is gaming a distinction in a
new line,on that every Columbus man
and woman and child can be proud
of, and that is the raising of $30,000
for a fine Y.M.C. A. building. This
Magnificent fund will be raised with
in a few weeks, and only about one
hundred people have been solicited.
This shows conclusively that our
people are prosperous and their heart
is in the right place, and that they al
so appreciate the good that will be
done, especially for young- men and
boys, as having a live Y. M. C.A.
association in our midst No other
town of our size has done as well.
We have broken the record, and we
are proud of H,
If the Telegram is really sincere in
the agitation for the government
ownership of all railroads and other
public utilities, let it commence
right here in our own town. Why
not have the city of Columbus own
and control and operate its own elec
tric light plant, and run it in connec
tion' with the city waterworks? That
is aometluiig that is feasible. We can
have better service for less money.
Br. Hants would undoubtedly sell at
areaaonabksajntotbecity. Schuy
ler has for yearsowned its own electric
... ..-'...
Prit nukes lower rates to the
private rnnanasaro than we get in Co
lunAa and saves the expense of street
lights. Fremont has had a similar
system for many years, and is so
well satisfied that it is now largely in-
cnmmgJiL The city government of
CbraarbfJt will daring the coming year
he csftfroQed entirely by the democ
racy, no one asaa will have more in
iaence with that party than Brother
He always delights in rid
hobby; here is a chance to
(Cayyrlgat. by Joseph B. Bowls
We are Flint ft Stone, solicitors, ol
lOIlbank. Local wits call as the Mill
atones: but this is a Jest
"Stone," said I, "I nave been think
tag," I nibbed my hands, "that An
drew McKenzie did not behave well in
the matter of that land. His last let
tar was scarcely polite.
"Almost offensive. He insinuated
we were lacking in truth and hones
ty!" The offer that we made him was
liberal.'
"Almost reckl
"The price he
aive."
"A barefaced attempt at extortion,"
I said warmly. If yon would like to
make him an offer shall we say tf .
ooor
"Ten thousand. Ire hundred dol
lars," said Stone quietly. I looked at
him in amazement
It la barely worth $10,000." Stone
held op his linger.
If the Slowdown and Gollghtly rail
way should propose to batld a goods
station there?- -
"Ah!" I said.
"A little bird." he remarked, play
fully, "has whispered to me that they
do. I fear they will nave to give at
least $12,500."
He passed me over a letter from the
Tittle bird."
I went over to Slowdown by the
11:16 train. McKenzie became civil
as soon as I explained the object of
my visit
"Well deal with the matter in a
generous spirit on both sides," he
said. "WU1 yon make it $10,800r He
la a man with no conscience what
ever. "Stone would never agree to a pen
ny more than $10,500," I declared.
"If a out of the question."
"Tell make it a free conveyancer'
"No. no! But well do it cheaply;
and quickly."
"By the new year?"
"By Christmas," I promised. So we
closed the bargain.
Stone rubbed his hands when I told
him.
"We will take it over for signature
on Tuesday," he pronounced.
We had investigated the title during
the previous negotiations. I saw to
the matter myself, as Stone was busy
trying a new motor a form of con
veyance of which I do not approve. I
was reading the document for the last
time, on Monday morning, when my
partner rushed into our room.
"Put on your top coat and hat and
come." I looked at the clock.
"We're too late for the train."
"Well go on the motor."
"Umph!" I must confess that I did
not trust it "I don't see why we need
be in such a hurry."
"His brother is going over by the
train. He has heard something about
the station."
The motor was at the door, puffing
and rattling in an unpleasant manner.
I did not like venturing on the thing,
but Stone hustled me into a seat Then
he turned a wheel and it bolted for
ward with a Jerk that threw my hat
into the road. It was nearly a new hat
and some small boys were playing
football with it when we turned the
corner.
"Why didn't you stop? I demanded.
"We've barely time to beat the
train."
"I shall catch my death of cold."
"Tie a handkerchief round your
head," he suggested.
I commenced knotting my handker
chief at the corners: but Stone turned
too sharply at the end of the street
and we ran against the curb. In catch
ing hold of the car to save myself I let
the handkerchief go. Stone's umbrella
went also. I will not say that I was
glad, but I hoped it would be a lesson
to him, and I told him so.
"One must take these little things
philosophically," he said. 'Tve a
spare handkerchief that I'll lend you."
It was a large silk one, and made an
excellent head covering, but unfortu
nately it was bright red in color, and
excited remarks from people we
passed.
"It goes," he remarked, with satin--faction.
"I shall be glad when it stops," I
replied. "I don't consider it is under
proper control."
"My dear Flint I can guide it to an
Inch. See me run over that piece of
orange peel; and that fragment of pa
per. Now round that old woman
Good Heavens!"
He had overlooked a heap of stones,
and we mounted high over them. I
turned a backward somersault on the
seat and only saved myself from going
out of the car by 'clasping him round
the neck with both legs.
We rushed upon a policeman like
an avalanche. He bolted for the foot
path, shouting something about the
county council and ten miles an hour.
"They've escaped from an asylum,"
cried a lady as we passed. "Look at
their caps."
"If we aren't smashed, we shall beat
the train by 20 minutes," said Stone.
It means $2,000."
"Less damages," I corrected. "II
we Oh!" The car skipped over a
rough place and I nearly went out
"Hold tighter," he told me. -
"How -can ir I asked indignantly.
It was necessary. The machine was
no longer running, but taking long
leaps, and whenever we turned a cor
. ner we went np on one wheeL When
we came to Slowdown road we were
going 49 miles an hour.
"The lasfhalf mile!" he said cheer
tally. "And the steepest!" I groaned. -It
will briag as almost to hia
door."
"The cow! The cow!: I shrieked. '
There was a soft thud, aad the ie
snaias of a cow 'were bandied oat of
the way. "More damages!"
"It has checked ma a little," ha
aaled aw. Ha la of a feollahly
aispoaltioa! "ft la up-hill
Jwewer's van galloped oat front a
yard. Stone- tamed hurriedly to
avoid it aad we reached the
pond at the deep end reserved
for swimmers! There was a ter
rilc splash. We were swept from
oar seats by a torrent of water. There
was a violent explosion. Then some
fellow got me out with a pitchfork.
When I had got some of the water
and the fork out of me, I looked
round and saw Stone wringing hisv
garments and his hands.
"The conveyance is ruined!" he
wailed.
"Get it out of your pocket" I cried,
"before it's too wet!' He stared at
me for a moment Then he pulled it
out It was scarcely hurt, at alL
"I had forgotten this conveyance,"
be owned.
- "Come along," I commanded. "The
train isn't in yet"
"Flint!" he said warmly, "Tour
presence of mind is invaluable."
We toiled up the hill as fast as we
could, and reached McKenzie's Just as
the train was whistling in the dis
tance. "Good heavens!" he cried, when we
entered his room, dripping and breath
less. "Well, well!" ;
"We came by motor," , Stone explained.
"I thought ye'd come by sea!" He
laughed loudly. Persons of. his na
tionality have a perverted notion of
humor.
"We had an accident If yon .will
sign the conveyance "
"Tell change first" he suggested,
pretending' that he was trying not to
grin. "There's no such haste."
"Business before pleasure," I re
minded him, trying to laugh.
"Some folks take their pleasure sad
ly!" He laughed, as if he had said
something funny.
"I don't see anything to laugh at
Mr. McKenzie," said my partner with
dignity.
"But ye must have a wee drop first
to keep out the cold," he proposed
affably.
"Afterwards," I said,' "afterwards."
So he called in his two clerks. They
were ill-bred young men, and giggled
audibly when they looked at us; but
we affected not to notice them, and
hurried through the business. We had
barely concluded, when Donald Mc
Kenzie rushed in.
"Is the conveyance signed?" he de
manded. "It is," we told him.
"You are a pair of thieves!" he
roared.
- "There is such a thing as libel," I
mentioned.
"And false pretenses," said Donald
McKenzie. "When you proposed to
buy that land"
"We have bought it" I pointed out
suavely.
"You have heard that the railway
tort .tol!dio&e1raa1nesef or me.
sua. expense account when he
back was 71 ceata for a beefsteak In
a restaurant I felt that he was
trying to do me out of at least a qaur
ter, and we haven't spoken since. Did
yon ever run across a 75-cent beef
steak in New Tork?"
.' "I never knew that there was one
as cheap as that" I replied.
"What! Tou didn'tr
"If Uncle Billy got one for that
price, then the man who served It
made a great mistake, and has prob
ably been mad about it ever since..
He should have charged $1.50 at least
and If Uncle Billy had said it was
$2 you needn't have been surprised.
Tou can get a tough old steak at that
figure if you look around long enough,
but if you get anything fresh and
Juicy you musn't kick at $4."
"Great heavens!" gasped the man
as he turned pale. "Four dollars for
a beefsteak, and I thought Uncle Billy
was doing me when he claimed to
have paid 75 cents! Say, I owe him
an apology. I owe him a hundred. I
owe him a thousand, and if you dont
See me again before I go you may
know that I'm down on my knees ask
ing him if he won't forgive me and
take me back to his heart again."
ELBOW LEN6TH
-AND MORE
Fastidious Freddies.
Some names are so cosmopolitan
that It makes no difference how they
are spelled, but Just let anybody ring
a few unauthorized changes on the
name of Frederick and the man who
.owns it will have something to say.
They will not be pleasant things to
listen to, either. As Frederick was
christened so does he Insist upon be
ing spelled. If at the baptismal font
he was Invested with the dignity of a
"k" he staggers under its weight to
the end of the chapter. The only per
son whose Indignation can equal Fred
erick's when somebody leaves off the
"k" Is Frederic when somebody else
puts it on. Family ties have been
severed and irreparable social erup
tions brought about bythe unfortun
ate omission or addition of that final
letter. To tutored ears Frederick with
or without the "k" sounds just as mu
sical, but to Frederick himself that air
phabetlcal error Is worse than a whole
orchestra out of tune, and it behooves
the person who would keep on the
good side of him to learn his prefer
ence in the matter.
Famous Missionary Ship to Be Sold.
After being used for 18 months
among the Michoneslan group of is
lands in the South Seas, says the Se
attle Post-Intelligencer, the famous
ship Morning Star has been taken to
Honolulu, where she will be sold at
auction.
The Morning Star was bought by
the pennies of Sunday school children
throughout the country. Her cost was
$40,000. The steamship was origin
ally the Shoe City, running between
Boston and Lynn.
Eighteen months ago the Morning
8tar sailed from Boston with a party
of missionaries bound for the South
Sea Islands. After landing the people
the steamship was employed carrying
supplies from the various islands and
missionary stations, and also in car
rying native children to the Christian
schools. There are few vessels afloat
so well known to seamen as the
"Preacher Ship," as she was named.
The reason for selling the steam
ship is stated to be the cost of operat
ing her. Coal in the South Seas com
mands a higher price than in more
frequented portions of the globe, and
the traffic would scarcely justify the
board retaining so large a steamship.
Then Some Fellow Got Me Out with a
Pitchfork.
company wanted to build there." We
rubbed our hands.
"We keep our ears open," said Stone
blandly.
"I told you this morning that I had
heard something about the company
and land."
"We were obliged for the hint"
Stone acknowledged, politely.
"Otherwise you would have stayed
and"
"Kept our ears open," I suggested.
Jocularly. He banged the table.
"If you had, you would have heard
that the company have decided to
build" We rubbed our hands
"elsewhere!"
I looked at Stone, and Stone looked
at me. "We will go, Stone," I said.
The McKenzies rose together.
"Tou will go!" they said.
When we picked ourselves up at the
bottom of the stairs, Stone was in fa
vor of an action for libel, and I for
assault Ultimately we decided to
bring neither.
It is also our endeavor to benefit
others. So we would add that the land
in question has lately much increased
in value, and affords an exceptionally
favorable opportunity for investment
Any offer addressed to us, care the
Editor, will receive prompt considera
tion.
A Wasp as a Pet
Perhaps the strangest pet ever kept
by man was a wasp which Lord Ave
bury caught in the Pyrenees and re
solved to tame.- He began by teach
ing it to take its meals on his hand,
and in a very short space of time it
grew to expect to be fed in that way.
Lord Avebury preserved this pet with
the greatest care. True, it stung him
once, but then it had every excuse for
doing so. He was examining it while
on a railway Journey and, the door
being opened by a ticket collector, he
unceremoniously stuffed it into a bot
tle, and the outraged Spaniard, not
feeling quite at home during the proc
ess, gave him a gentle reminder as to
the proper way to treat a guest
TOOK LOAD OFF Hit MIND.
Farmer Found That Uncle Illy Had
Not Swindled Him.
reach tha poad."
I was sitting on the veranda of a
New England village hotel after din
ner when a townsman oame.edgiag np
and entered Into conversation, and by
and by got around. to ask: .
"Do I understand that you Uve la
New Tork dtyr
"Tea sir"
"Right in the city itself, and aot ta
Statea Island or Hobokear
"Right lathe city." - .
"And have yon been around conataV
rabler .
"I have been on the go for 20 yearn.'
"Then you tax
tha restaarantar.
"A Utile somethtag."
: Tha man stopped there for 1
aaant in an embarrassed way,
than decided to
fit It and coaunaed
I "A few months an I sent Uncle
The gift of speech is the last proof
of Divine favor, in virtue of which
mankind has the rest of the animal
kingdom faded, and stands in a class
by himself.
Some beasts are stronger than men,
and some know more, but no beast
can be such a bore as a man, nor can
any beast slop over. In the true sense
of the term. These distinctions we
owe to the gift of speech.
The gift of speech, moreover, lays us
under compulsion to read a great
many things which otherwise we
would not in order that when we
have nothing to say, we may neverthe
less say something. Thus we promote
the publishing business, create a de
mand for wood pulp, assist in the de
forestation of the earth's surface, stir
np a aew school of kickers, increase
discontent and contribute, at length,
to progress and petulance.
Our ancestors used to consider
speech a means of concealing thought
bat we have nothing to oonceaL
Pack.
Her name la Dolly, and she la Just
the fluffy, violety, dimpled and demure
sort of person who ought to bear that
name.
The night before she had had a ter
rible falling out with "Him.? aad she
must have been absent-minded when
she went up stairs that afternoon to
dress for a silly pink tea. She didn't
want to go, in the first place, but she
knew that He would be there and it
would never do to let him see that she
felt so badly about It that she had
lost her interest in society. Besides,
of course, she didn't feel badly about
it No, of course not
So she dragged herself up stairs
and put on the very smartest frock
and brightest feathers she possessed,
and all of her gold bangles and her
gold chatelaine. It was a dusky,
cloudy afternoon aad she had to light
the gas to see how to get the powder
on straight When she had finished
the last touch and "saw that it was
good," .she turned out the gas aad
went languidly down stairs. Before
she had reached the. bottom step she
discovered that she had forgotten her
gloves her lovely violet silk gloves
which Just matched her costume. She
ran np again, very much astonished
and provoked that she, the careful aad
esthetic Dolly, should have forgotten
anything so vitally Important to to
the matter in hand. She would have
to take off every one of those gold
bangles now and replace them on top
of the gloves.
She remembered having seen the
gloves on top of her bureau, so did not
stop to light the gas again, but
snatched them up and ran down the
steps, for she was late. When she
glanced at the clock in the hall she
noticed that she was even later than
she had thought so she decided that
she would wait and put her gloves on
in the street car.
After a breathless run she caught a
car on the fly, pushed her way into it
and found a seat only to find Him sit
ting opposite and staring at her quite
tranquilly.
His hand went up to the brim of his
hat but she coldly turned her chin to
ward the window at her back and
gazed into the muddy street behind
her. But one cannot look behind for
ever, and after a while she began
gradually to turn her head back again.
It was then that she observed every
body in the car was gazing straight at
her. She blushed a-deep scarlet They
were laughing! A messenger boy op
posite her was so convulsed that he
was fairly sputtering. An old gen
tleman with eyeglasses grinned at her
as though she were his own daughter.
And He he was shaking with mirth or
delight or something equally vulgar.
She was on the verge of tears.
What could be the matter? Had
everybody noticed how she snubbed
Him and were they laughing no, it
couldn't be. She felt the front of her
dress. It was carefully buttoned.
touched her hat and-nair and gazed
down at her boots and petticoats. But
there was not even a pin out of place.
Then she observed that her arms
were bare and that she had forgotten
to put on her gloves. With queenly
dignity and her chin in the air, she
mechanically thrust her hands into
one of the violet silk things she car
ried. She drew and drew and drew it
up without even glancing at it and
fjthen her fingers struck something
strange and she looked down with
horror.
In her lap, with its foot dangling to
floor, lay a long, violet silk stock-
while on her forearm, in the fun
view of the whole car, she held an
other violet silk stocking, its heel and
toe conspicuously covering her hand
and her wriggling fingers.
She wanted to shriek but she
couldn't The rest of the passengers
nearly did so, however, as she took
the thing between her fingers and
Jerked it off as though it had been a
poisonous snake.
It was then that he showed his true
colors and made her feel that never,
never could she live without him.
Reaching over, he carefully picked up
the violet stockings from where they
had fallen on the floor and stuffed
them in his coat pocket Then he mo
tioned the conductor to stop the car,
and. without a smile or a word, pre
ceded her to the door, helped her to
alight and silently took her home.
At her door she put out her hand
and he laid the stockings in It and
then in the dusk she flung her anv3
about his neck and vowed he was "the
bravest bravest ever." He believes
he really was.
ttM'kKEKt
Fancy Groceries
AT
KEATING and SCHRMTS
t
If you are not a custo-
mer at pur store we ask : :
-
: of you to at least call and '
; ; see our provision coun- ; ;
: : ters. All goods fresh
; delicious and quality no
! ; better to be had aall on
I us though you don't buy
I
KEATING and SCHRAM
Eleventh Street. Columbus, Nebraska.
tfW-W-4i1
Park Mea
I
Market
Now open for business. Cboice
cuts of juicy steaks, tenderloin
and pork chops. Fish anil gurnet
in season. Orders promptly filled
and delivered lo any part of the
city. We will buy your poultry
and hides. Call and see us.
the I
lng.
Sturek&Korgie
South side Park-Thirteenth St
Columbus, Neb.
Both phones
THE USEFUL 'PHONE
1Y NO MEANS USED EXCLUSIVE
LY FOR BUSINESS.
One Instance Where Wire Conveyed
tha Velce ef Conscience How
Farmer Saved Long Trip
After Hie Cows.
Abundantly Occupied.
"Do you think the inhabitants of
Mars are trying to converse with us?"
"Perhaps they are." answered the
professor, "but with the trust question
and so many other problems of its
own to settle, I do not soo why thia
earth should devote its time of gos
siping about the universe."
A group of telephone men were tell
ing telephone stories the other day.
: "A couple of young lawyers were
just shotting up shop to go home one
evening not long ago," said one. "It
was in a big building, and as it was
about nine o'clock, nearly all the win
dows were dark. One window across
the alley, however, was light, and the
curtain partly up, and just after they
had turned off their own lights the
two young fellows saw a man who
.was dictating in this room reach over
and kiss the stenographer. They
knew the man's name, that is, they
knew the name lettered on his win
dow; so they looked him up in the
jelephone book and one kept watch at
(the window, while the other, rang
(him up.
' "There were signs of perturbation
iln the room across the way when the
bell rang. When he finally answered,
the young fellow at the phone said:
'Stop kissing that girl.'
"'Who who who are yon caste
a quavering, stuttering voice over the
'phone. "
"lam the voice of your conscience,
a western man,' chas Introduced am
element of variety and Interest iato
the lives of the farmers that caa hard
ly be computed. In some sections of
the great farming states the farmers)
buy their own telephone exchange,
and then each man runs his own line
to his own house and has nothing to
pay thereafter, except to keep his own.
line in order, and his share of the co
operative central office. The women
on the farms, when their work is done
in the afternoon, love to go to the
'phone and stand listening for hours
to everything that buzzes over the
wires. It's as good as going to see all
their friends. The only trouble is that
they get tired standing up and hold
ing the receiver to their ears, andt
bave to sit down and rest once In a
while.
"But one' day I found an old lady
who had solved that problem. She
had tied the receiver to the back off
her rocking chair, and there she sat
comfortably knitting, with the 'phone
glued to her ear, listening to all the
telephone talk of the county."
"I can tell a better one than that
about those fanners' exchanges," said
another carelessly. "Tou know they,
utilize their barbed wire fences for
telephone wires. There was one en-'
terprlsing Reuben that ran a line front
his barn down to the pasture, and at
milking time he would call up the
cows and tell them to come up to the
house."
. The other telephone men looked at
each other and then turned sadly
away.
Knew Him at Once. 1
There are other sure ways of brineh
lng a man to mind besides mentlouiad
his name. Among the candidates whni
were sent from Princeton to a Phila-j
delphia church was one young "a
whose language was of the sort which
dazzles and delights the younger men
bers of a congregation, and sometime
pleases the elders as well.
In this case the commfttee was be
sieged to ask for the young man again
and they consented, but unfortunately
the man to whose lot it fell to write
the letter had forgotten the candi
date's name. Nothing daunted, ha
wrote to one of the seminary profes
sors: "Please send us that fioweret;
streamlet, rivulet, cloudlet and moon?
beam young man again. We've forJ
gotten his name, bat we've no doafct!
you'll recognize him.- t
"We do," wrote the professor, and!
the desired candidate wan sent! and!
subsequently was called to the p)
Youth's Companion. ;
A Sign ef
Miss Ascum I don't sea whv J
said the lawyer, and silently hung up should feel insulted because he saht'
the receiver.' j your eyes were like stars. j
"The marvelous extension of the' Miss Prue You don't? Why, sfaral'
raraj lajfiphgnegysjem out wesfe" atf ' keep winking at people an the 'tluwH
Wolf Raided Sheenfold.
George B. Israel, who lives on the
farm of SheruY Samuel Parka, in John
on townahfo Brown county, thought
hla sheep were being killed by Oaear
Antf a dog. Israel went to the Aalt
mod with a' gun, where he In
to km the eheaihkilllnc
Sght took' plaee between the two
amen, and after they had paid their
before Justice Sobiaaon of John
township they learned, that he
had Just trapped a large timber wolf.
neighbors Inunedlately made
and decided that the wolf had
Ulna the sesep instead of the
as eanuuBSi, the naft of the
wolf was taken to Nashville.
wm one
THURSDAY 28
1907.
The largest Line of Millinery -ever brought . to
Columbus. Our own exclusive designs and copies
tn Johnson township, and a w
ef famem are kmUag for other
wetvas whiah they believe have
of best Imported Models.
M. H
Columbus,
STIRES
l
Nebraska.
i
we cajsa tQ SJoi
News.
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l "" J-'-Vi
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ride a good one.