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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 26, 1894)
VOLUME XXV. NUMBER 37.
COLUMBUS, NEBRASKA, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 26, 1894.
WHOLE NUMBER 1,285.
ING OUT, WILD
bells of Christ
The festive season
"Set all hearts aing a
To trumpets and to
Here's to our old com
Here's to the com
Peace be to those with
And joy to those bereft!
(Hoys, here's another matinee)
King out, sweet bells of Christmas day!
Ring out the feud 'twist Right and Wrong!
Here's to the girl we love!
We'll pledge her health in liiugh and song,
All other healths above!
Forever mny the curtain fall
On jealousies and spites;
In dreams alone may we recall
Our unsuccessful nights.
But, Jack, there is a matinee)
Ring out, sweet bells of Christmas day I
Vay joy attend the kindly hand,
And bless the gentle heart!
Mny winds of forttiuo still be bland,
And luck no more depart!
A glowing season unto all;
The critics" lines- Imj mild;
A Yule Tide blessing softly fnll
On parents, wife and child!
What though it bring a matinee'
Ring out, sweet belis of Christmas day!
MISTLETOE ON THE ALTAR.
1 CliriNtiua Church Drrnr.it inn Ie
rlwil from Pagans.
The .Saturnalia again furnish us with
analogies to Christinas decorations,
when houses were decked with laurels
and evergreens; the Druids, too. carried
cut iiiistletoc and laid it on their al
tars. The custom was long preserved
in the north of Kngland. ami at York
the mistletoe used to be carried to the
high altar of the cathedral, and a pub
lic pardon was proclaimed at the gates
of the city toward the four quarters of
This, however, was not long used as
a church decoration, on account of its
connection with I'agan rites, anil is
said only to have been employed for
this purpose either by mistake or
through ignorance. The most favorite
evergreens for decorating churches
were holh. bay. rosemary and laurel;
ivy and cypress were eschewed because
of their association with Kacchus and
Death respectively: the most elaborate
display of olden days could not be
mentioned in the sunt1 breath with the
artistic treatment which many churches
receive at the present time.
A C'liriHtniHi Itomiincr.
I was an intimate friend of the Mor
ion boys, and on the strength of that
I was invited to spend Christinas with
the family. Of course I went. I was
desperately in love with May Ilor
ton. but I had kept my secret well
from the boys.
There were hosts of relatives, a big
dinner and plenty of fun after it.
Mistletoe hung in tempting fashion
from the gas "fixtures, and opportuni
ties were not neglected. Dancing and
merriment were at their height when
I quietly made my way to a curtained
"bay window, where I hoped to find the
darling of my heart. In a dusky cor
ner sat a dark little object, and for
fear somebody would seek the lovers'
hiding place 1 immcdiatel v commenced
to pour forth my love. Twice she re
pulsed me. Twice I drew her head
down on my shoulder. Then suddenly
she tore herself from me and shot out
into the parlor like a comet, screaming
at the top of her lungs:
JM ' MbsSC
"rw.Ks ji vy's spinster atnt.
That good for nothing young ras
cal. Sam Miller, asked me to marry
That voice great heavens! "Twas
Susan Frizzetty. May's spinster aunt.
They all thought it was a good joke,
and catching hold of both of us thev
called young I 'arson l'cters and hade
him tie the knot. 1 was beside myself
for a moment, especially as Miss Susan
seemed growing reconciled to the sit
uation. With one spring 1 dashed over
to May. who had entered the room and
stotxl leaning on the mantelpiece, with
a grave ltok in her eyes, and before
them all I desperately cried:
"May. I thought it was you. I love
yon. Will you marry me?"'
" Twas like a thunder clap, such a
surprise. May said -Yes," bless her
heart, and I led her forth blushing
Amid the congratulations of the
older ones and the delighted yells of i
the small fry. we became engaged
beneath the mystic mistletoe; and
later in the season Aunt Frizzetty
danced at our wedding. Dora L.
Tho festival of Tule rear."
The German, the Scandinavian and
other northern races used to keep, at
the time of the winter solstice, a great
festival known as "Yule peace," or the
Twelve Nights. At this season the
forces of nature personified by all Pa
gan people were believed to be en
gaped in a grand conflict. Gods, god
desses, giants and ogres were strug
gling together with desperate enmity,
which ended only when Thor demol
ished the castle of the ice king, and
Frcija. goddess of spring, foreshadowed
coming life, light and warmth. 014
mythology is filled with striking and j
L-eautiful legends of this turning- point
Ill- . U
MIGHTY NEAR TO CHRISTMAS.
f T-SGETTTXG CLOSE
to Christmas ;across
the hills and dell?,
You can almost bear
the chiming and the
rhyming of the
But theskies are clear
and candid, with no
clouds that dream
And you bear in dark
and daylight all the
elfin bugles blowlj
It's getting close to Christmas : there's some
thing in the air
That seems to breathe of Bethlehem and all
the glory there;
And sweet the lells and bugles sound thro'
our dreams of rest
Ring, bells, your sweetest music, and bu
gles blow your best!
It's getting close to Christmas. Oh, time of
peace and joy !
And oh, to lie once more. on more, a
wakeful, watchful boy,
With the stocking in the corner for old
Santa Clans to fill;
But we still thank God for Christmas, and
we're lioys in memory still!
GEORGE PLAYED HOOKEY.
And Now lie trarm Thnt Kant Claus
Will Hoycott Illm.
deer cditur i am the most niisera
blest boy wat is alive, lo the world 2
me is al a blank, on wensda i dident
feel like gone 'l scool. an i nskid ma if i
cood sta hoim. ma gave me her reglar
lectur a bote i ortcr haiv a chance - go
- scool an lern somethin. b cause when
she wos a girl she dident haiv no
chance '' lern. cass thay dident haiv no
free seools then. n. b. but if nni
1 shud tel mar - day she donl no ani
thing his payrents cood colect his in
surance moui in time - maik erismus
presents, but i maid up mi mind not 2
go 2 scool ani way. wats the mater
with play in hookey, hay? I sed 2 mi
self, coss if i sed it out loud ma wood
here me. so wen scool time cum i tuk
mi litel slait an went out. but i dident
jo 2 scool. an i dident no
ware to go. it was orful cold,
i dident dare go in 2 the vilag an Ink
in the erismus winders coss bing.s mite
THIS IS MK ri.AVIN HOOKY.
see me. so i cood onli go out hi the
woods an wait I time 2 go hoim. i got
so cold i most eride and mi face felt
like it was froze, an how i wisht i hail
gone 2 scool and not plade hooky. Ihen
a man cum a long an wanted 2 no wat
i was hangiu a round 4. en i sed i did
ent no, an tho man sed i had better
moiv on or he wood arrest me 4 a sus
pichous ca meter, so i moved on. i kept
on movin on till i cum near the scool.
an wen i saw the boys comin out i
i rushed in the house like i always
do wen i cum hoim frum seool an put
mi slait on the table, ma luked at me
knowin like, i got a merit in scool 2
da 4 bein gud, i sed. coss thay wossum
thin inside of me wat kept sayin, gor
gie. ma is on 2 u. she knows u aint
been 2 scool. an then ma sed. u vnng
raskil u no u wosent 2 scool 2 da. an i
sed. ma du u want me 2 chop sum
wood, an ma sed. no. but i want 2 no
wy u dident go 2 scool 2 da. bil jon
son wos here with a note frum the
teeeher sayin that u wosent 2 scool. i
dident no wat 2 say so i dident say '
notlun. but ma sed she wood fix me 4
playin hooky. She sed she was gone 2
tel sandy eloss not to give ani presents,
wen pa cum hoim he wiped me. an wen
i went to scool next da the teeeher
wiped me. no, litel boys, don't pla
hooky, it ain't no gud. coss u wont
get no erismus presents an yure pa
wil wiD u. gorgie
THE YULE LOG.
An Important Item of a Good Old Fash
The Yule log. which has always been
so important an item in celebrating a
"good old fashioned Christmas," is dis
tictly a Druidical survival, and has
been held in honor ever since that far
off time; its flames burned out all
wrongs and quarrels, and it was used
to heat the wassail which was drunk
to the drowning of old feuds. At one
time the Yule log. when half burnt,
was always kept to light another at
the next Christmas, and it was consid
ered a safegard against fire during the
Various strange superstitions were
afloat concerning it: among others, it
was thought very unlucky if a squint
ing person, a bare footed man or a flat
footed woman, entered the place in
which the log was burning. History
does not relate whether the exact
shape of the feet had to be described
on entering the room.
Hit Holiday Discovery.
"Are you going to hang up youi
stocking?"' said Plodding Pete.
'Naw,'' said Meandering Mike. "It's
already "tended to fur me.'
"Whut je mean?"
"See dat clothes line over there?"
Well, dere's a pairof stockin'sripu'
there dat Santa Claus mus hev hung
up fur me, cos" I kin see from here dat
dey're jes my size. An' I'm goirf.er
climb de fence an" take "em fur f:ar
some onprincipled person "11 cme
erlong when nobody's lookin an" sw pe
"I don't know so much about tic
fatherless,"' mused Oldsport, refit c
tively. "but I guess this Christmas se i
sonisa good time 'tp. 'remember tie
Having arrived at this decision, re
went down town and ordered a dii -mend
braocltt for her.
3fc- i ,' "-.' r
W io I
CHRISTMAS IN EQYPT.
K Christmas Breakfast and Dinner
at a Greek Delmonico's.
The following Christmas experi
ence in Egypt is related by a riter
in Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly.
He was at the house of a Greek who
was apparently not a Croesus, as the
entire lurniture of his cafe consisted of
a stone-and-mud fireplace in one cor
ner, a palm-branch divan occupying
the remainder of that side ot the ban
queting hall, and a lot of rush mats
on the earthen floor. I took the place
of honor on the divan, says the
writer, and soon the Arabs commenc
ed dropping in and squatting on
the floor. Our Copt had made so much
noise that he had awakeiied the whole
It was Christmas Eve, or, rather,
morning, and I felt liberal, so I order
ed coffee and mastic for the party, and
kept the landlord busy until I had
Tilled the wholelot a feat never before
accomplished in Tel-el-Ilaroud. I be
gan to feel hungry, and the land lord
fished out from underthedivan, which
also served as a chicken-coop, three
squabs, which he killed, plucked, boil
ed and served up on Arab bread.
Tliis bread is baked of unbolted flour
in round cakes, seven inches in diame
ter. It is hollow like a doughnut,
and of about thsconsistency of heavy
After breakfast everybody went on
a hunting expedition. After their re
turn they all went for their bath, a
change of clothes, and then to dinner
and such a dinner!
The bill of fare could scarcely be
equalled at that season ol the year in
this country; the little oysters from
Alexandria Harbor, they weie first
planted there by McKillop Pasha,
who was admiral of the Egyptian
fleet under Ismail Pasha, soup, fish
from the Mediterranean, turkey, ham,
ducks, snipe, fresh vegetables of every
description, figs, grapes, ornn;e.s, ban
anas and the flaming English plum
pudding. The sparkling wine flowed as co
piously as Nile water, and I wasabont
to say as rapidly. The hunt was re
hunted, and haps and mishaps, spiced
with raillery and laughter. Then
came pipes, songs and recitations,
and the hot water with the Scotch
The children dreamed the whole night
Of stocking hung the hearh be-idc;
And, bound to make each dream come
Went Santa Gaus at Christmas-tide.
Black stocking, red, brown, white and
little, warm, or patched and thin
The kindly Saint found on hi-, way.
And smiling, popped his pre-ents in.
But as he felt his hoard grow light,
A tear-drop glistened in lii eye:
"More children on this earth toni-lit,
Than stars aic twinkling i:i the sky."
Upon the white and frozen snow
lie knelt, his empty bag beide
"Some little socks uiu-t empty go.
Ala!" aid he 'tUis Christina -tide.
"Though I their stockings may not heap
With gifts and toys and Christmas cheer,
Thec little ones from sorrow keep.
For each, dear Lord, to Thee is dear!
Thou wert a little Child like them"
1 'rayed he "For w horn I would provide
Long years ago in Bethlehem,
Thai first and blessed Christmas tide!
"As soothed Thee then Thy mother's kiss,
And all her comfort, sweet and kind.
So give them love,let they may miss
The gilts I know not where to find.'
"That sweetest gift, dear Lord, bestow
On all the children lar ami wide;
And give them hearts a pure as snow"'
I'raycd Santa Clans -'at Christmas-tide!"
Marguerite Merington, in The Ladie-'
The Festivities Interrupted.
Jimmy, the eldest son (coniinn in
unexpectedly). "Stop der music till I
run down an' git der hook an" ladder
company to take der t'ings oil der top
A Shrewd Father.
"What did you get for Christmas,
Jim?" asked a little shaver.
"The watch and chain," was the
"Why, you got that for Thanksgiv
ing." "Yes; but dad took it away from
me the next day for breaking the win
dow, and lie gave it back to me for
A Cood Reason
Husband (hastily) Here comes
.Miss Mullins. Eflie; put all your pres
Wife No. I want her to see how gen
erous you are.
Husband But mo of them are
things I gave her when I was engage I
toherand got back when it was brok
en off Munsevs.
Jeweler What words do you wish
engraved in the ring, sir?
Young Man "From Henry to
Jeweler Take my advice, young !
man, find have it engraved simply
"From Henry." Then, if vou yet it
back, you can use it again next Christ- !
mas. " '
A Long-felt Want.
Mrs. Grigs "What are you going
to give your husband Christmas?"'
Mrs. Grogs "A theatre outfit." j
Mrs. Grigs For the land's sake, !
Mrs. Grogs "A nursing-bottle, a
package of cloves and a chain and
padlock." Lowell Citizen
. "aaa. - -v --- w m1-"
GIRLS THAT SKATE.
THEY BELONG TO MA1MY DIF
And They Have Peculiarities .According
to Their Nationality The Canadian
Girl Bold and Fearless The Dutch
Some women on skates are some
what like tho little girl who sported rt
curl right in tho middle of hor foro
nead. They look either "very, very
good,"' or else they approximate quite
closely to "horrid,"' says the Montreal
News. It really must ha confessed
that the skate, as she is now worn by
the Xow York girl, is not always a
success. But there are extenuating
circumstances. The New York girl
is, in fact, a composito cosmopolitan,
says the New York Journal. Her
njjui, iuui. muy Mtaiu us nur granu
mother, a market woman of Holland,
did. while her left foot may take the
stroke of her Scandinavian grand
father. Skating has been one of the
rights of women ever since they used
to strap long bones to their feet and
push themselves over the ico with a
pointed stick and particularly has
been the inalienable privilege of a
Skating in Holland, however, is not
of a highly ornate order. This is be
cause a prudent woman is hot dis
posed to attempt the evolution of
spirals and other ligures when she has
a basket of fragile eggs upon her arm.
But the Holland girl goes in for speed,
in proof of which statement there is a
story that onco upon a time two
neighborly souls had a difference over
the question of their respective skat
ing abilities. Even tho Dutch tem
per sometimes gets stirred, and the
argument linally waxed exceedingly
warm far warmer, in fact, than the
weather, which was clutching all tho
canals in a grip of ice. The two
dames continued the dispute until a
race was arranged. They were to
skate thirty miles, and to the one cov
ering the distance in the shorter time
a prize was promised of the finest
pair of skates in Amsterdam.
The match came off. with great
eclat and a largo attendance. Tho
winning time was two hours, and if
any girl in New Amsterdam can do
better, let her show her record. Is it
not quite likely that the familiar
phrase. "It beats tho Dutch."' origin
ated in this little episode?
Now. as has iK'en said, the Dutch
women skate because it is the quickest '
means of locomotion between their
kitchens and the market. The Scan
dinavian women skate because it is
the most rapid way of paying calls.
and tho liussiau women rarely skate i
at all. The rivers in Russia How so !
swiftly that thev seldom freeze, and .
oven in the cities most of the skating
is done by the English and German,
When a Russian woman docs skat.
however, she can discount every other
nationality in tho lieauty of her cos
tume. Sho is not afraid of brilliant
color effects, and she and her furs are
In England skating is an art, not an
industry. The English girl is as ad
dicted to open air exercise as her
American cousin is to ice cream. She
skates conscientiously, if not always
with marvelous grace, and with her
sisters raav be seen by the
on tho Serpentine and in Regent park, j
Tho Canadian girl improves each j
sinning hour of ice. but she often has
to have her skating area dug out of
the snow. A Canadian girl 7s a bold
and fearless skater. She is not so
stiff as an English girl nor so luxuri
ous as a Russian. Sho wraps ui in
tho warmest of woolen suits, and pulls
a festive toboggan cap over her ears.
There is a streak of French in her
blood, which makes her don bright
colors and which puts verve and dash
into her style.
There is the girl who knows that
she can't skate, and also knows that
every one else knows it, but doesn't
care a continental. She is going to
learn. She has no manly arm to lean
upon, so she embraces large sections
of atmosphere as she plunges boldly
forward. One cannot help murmur
ing. "What are the wild waves say
ing?" as one watches the circles her
arras describe. But, never mind, she
And, speaking of the manly arm.
there aro only two desirable positions
with regard to a girl on skates. One
is very close to her escort very close.
A woman's respect for a man never
reaches a higher altitude than it does
when she is perched on a pair of wob
bly skates. She is not only ready to
fall on his neck, but she actually does
it. She falls all over him, in fact.
And the timid dependence with which
the haughtiest girl clings to a man's
strong right arm is ample reward for
having that same arm pinched black
and blue in the process.
The other position is one of remote
ness. One which absolutely removes
her escort from the reach of her
dutches and kicks resulting from her
The Clam Does More Forward.
The clam is commonly taken for an
example of all that i- unprogressive.
but he is by no means a stationary
creature. Every man bred at the sea
side knows how a clam left upon the
sand will utterly disappear by sinking
himself below the surface: but the
clam also has a forward movement,
and will travel thirty feet in the
course of a week. The large muscle
of the clam, which helps to make him
indigestible, is hi- single leg. tind by
the aid of this he makes his progress.
Hi Own AfT.iir.
Filkins Strange that Himan, who
runs a matrimonial agency, the very
man who should know letter, has
made himself liable to prosecution for
Wilkins So I told him. but his
answer was: Business is business."
In tho museum at Mavence. Ger
many, there are several iron-tipped
piles winch were used bv the Unmans
2,000 years ago in the construction of
a bridge near that place.
rnemnatlc I.'orso Collar.
A pneumatic horse collar finds favor
with many horsemen, and the animals
themselves seem to appreciate it, as
it adjusts itself to every motion of the
Look at no Wat Not Mfecli
Lawyer, tint Theri
Said a gentleman who is Well
; acquainted in the mountain countries:
"1 noticed in tho city a few days smco
ah attorney ffdm an Eastern Oregon
county whd eanld hero io appear be
I foYe Judge Fee in chambers. He
i wore a felt hat with no loss than five
inches of-brim. His neckgear was by no
. means such as would bo furnished by
, a city outfitter. His coat was a miser
ably pow fit, arid as for pantaloons,
they were decidedly pictm'dsqtie. The)
i bag in those pants hung out conspicu
ously four dr fivo inches below the
kneo and the dust of tho street was
swept by tho lower edges trailing
along behind him. The moustaches
word by this attorney Were and, of
course, aro vOt, such as to lend a
particularly fiorcd ftppearahco to an
otherwise unique) fi
VCr passed along the
uro. As the law-
street toward the
court houso, some one inquired who
tho person was and was informed ho
was a disciple Of Blackstone. I
thought there was art amused expres
sion Oil the inquirer's face.
'Now I wish ho could httvo gorto
with mo to the lawyer's house in one
of tho mountain towns. He would
. have 1)een ro0(od )V tho afiv 0f the
ho.s0 itl tho most .uUm,a manner.
1 Entertainment would have given evi
1 denco of the presence of refinement.
A library would have lieen at tho vis
itor's disposal composed of some of
the rarest volumes extant. And those
volumes would be found to Iks as
familiar to my friend tho attorney as
Mother Goose's melodies to the aver
age person. In the mind of this
attorney could be found a wonderful
i store of valuable information: facts
' digested and with the meaning and
, bearing on men and events extracted
therefrom: in short, one of the most
remarkable minds I have ever met.
! And then I would enjoy watching tho
face of tho inquiring man as that
' attorney went before a jury and
poured out a matchless and convinu
' ing eloquence. Educated HleraHy,
trained in West Point military aead-
emy and for years a captain in tho
regular army, later thoroughly edu
I cated in the law, that tall, peculiarly
i aeeoutered lawyer would prove a most
' agreeable surprise to one who came in
, contact witli his disciplined and well
i tilled mind. The name of this person-
age will occur to all meralers of the
i bar. It is the same as the title to ono
I of Sir Walter Scott's best known
J novels.' East Oregonian.
Mullet fishing by night in tho Ches
apeake is exciting sport. A small
boat is used and a light is placed in
the stern. When a school of the fish is
sighted near shotv the boat is rapidly
rowed toward them until they aro
driven ashore. Once thev feel tha
land beneath them thov begin to leap
'toward the light. Then tho boat is
depressed on tho shoreward side, so
jis to bring the other side high above
the water. The consecinence is that
many of tho fish leap into the boat
and aro thus taken.
Starta.l on a Currpr.
Ono of the mo.st successful illustra
tors for the humorous papers was
once a bank clerk in Philadelphia.
He used to amuse himsalf and his fel
low clerks by caricaturing the custo-
,ncrs of tlie uank
Somo of his friends
nt length sent a few of his sketches to
a humorous weekly of New York, and
a cneex was promptly returned for
the pictures. ThHt started tho illus
trator on his career, and illnstrating
soon after lwcame his sole occupation.
HERE AND THERE.
It takes a snail fourteen days and
five hours to travel a in He.
Charles Johnson, a 13-year-old
negro preacher, is causing a sen a
tion in Atlanta, Ga.
Watts By the way, who was the
patron saint of fishermen? Wiggles
' Dunno. It isn't Ananias, is it?
The time is crming when, by
methods already foreseen, we shall
store and make use of the heat of the
It would take a man seventy year
i to pass through Harvard college if he
studied every course offered in the
There arc about ten Afro-American
lawyers in New York, thirteen in
Boston and more than twenty-five
; It has been estimated that it will
i require eichty-five men working every
I day until 1947 to unearth the entire
, ruins of Pompeii.
One of tho most popular clergymen
in Birmingham, England, is a negro
, Rev. Peter Stanford, pastor of the
Wilberforce Memorial church.
The report of Captain Pratr super
intendent of the Carlisle Indian
school, shows the attendance is GO?,
of whom 35s. are boys and 244 girls.
Forty-four tribes are represented.
A socialist in Northampton, Eng
land, recently notified the poor
I guardians of the town that he was
about to commit suicide, provided
they would guarantee him a decent
In the Forum Dr. George F. Shraly
.says ihat Dimsdale, a prominent
physician of London was calle I to
vaccinate the Empress Catherine II.
of Russia, in 1T2. .Tenner was then
a lad of 1 1 years.
Jeremiah Fisher has resigned his
position in the Carver cotton r"n
company of East Bridgewatcr, Mass..
on account of failing e3esight. He is
' 00 years of age, and made the first
i gin ever manufactured in the works.
Oronyatekha, a Mohawk Indian,
who lives in Toronto, draws SlO.OuO a
year as a supreme officer of the Order
of Foresters in Canada, and has an
income as a practicing physician. He
looks 45, and is suspected of being
Artificial whalebone is now being
i made from leather, which is soaked
i for two or three days in sulphate of
potassium, slowly dried, subjected to
a hivh temperature and then to a
heavy pressure, which makes it hard j
The scientists of a European expe
dition now in Ecuador have been
making analyses of ashes which fell
150 miles away from Cotopaxi at the
time of its last eruption. They nave
found them to consist mainly of feld
spar, quartz, raaquetite and secular
iron ore. One sample yielded .silver
at the rate of 200 grains to the ton.
A WOMAN'S HEART.
ONE DISEASE THAT BAFFLES
The Story of a Woman Whd Suffered
fr Klae Years How She Was Cured.
(From the N'ewark, Jf . J., Evening Xpws.)
Valvular disease of the huart has always
been considered incurable 'J he following
interview, therefore, will interest tho medi
cal profession since it describes the success1
fnlnae of a new treatment for this disease.
The patient is Mrs. Geo. Archer of Clifton.
N. J., and this publication by the News is
the first mention made of the case by any
newspaper. All physician consulted pro
nounced the patient suffering with valvu
lar disease of the heart, and treated her
without the slightest relief. Mrs. Archer
said: "I could not walk across the tloor;
neither could I go up stairs without stop
ping to let the pain in my chest and lott
arm cease. I felt an awful constriction
about my arm and chest as though I were
tied wltn ropes. Then there was a terrible
nolso at my rii;ht car, like the labored
breathing of some great animal. I have
often turned expecting to see some ereaturo
at my side.
"Last July," continued Mrs. Archer,"!
Was at Springfield, Mass., visiting, and my
mother showed me an account in the
Springfield Examiner, telling of the won
derful cure effected by the into ci Dr.
Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People. My
mother urged me to try tho pills and on
November 25 last I bought a box and began
taking them, and I have taken them ever
since, except for a short interval. Thu
first box did not seem to lwnetit me, hut 1
persevered, encouraged by th requests of
my relatives. After beginning on the sec
ond box, to my wonder, the noise at my
right car ceased entirely. I kept right on
and the distress that I used to feel in my
chest and arm giadually disappeared. The
blood linn returned to my face, lips and
ears, which were entirely devoid of color,
and I feol well and strong aain.
"Mv son, too, had been troubled with
gastritis and I induced him to try the Pink
Pills, with preat benefit. I feel that every
body ought to know of my wonderful cure
and I bless God that I have found some
thing that has given me this great relief.'
Dr. Williams' Pink I ills are now given
to the public as an unfailing blood builder
and nerve restorer, curing all forms of
Weakness arising from a watery condition
of the blood or shattered nerves, two fruit
ful causes of most every ill that llesh is
heir to. These pills aro also a stccitic for
the troubles peculiar to females, such as
suppressions, all forms of weakne-s.ehronic
constipation, hearing down pains, etc , and
ill the case of men will give speedy relief
and effect a permanent euro in all cases
arising from mental worry, overwork or ex
cesses of whatever nature. The pills aro
sold by all dealers, or will be scut jwstpaid
on receipt of price, (50 cents a box, or o
boxes for$2.."0 they are never sold in hulk,
or by the 100) by addressing Dr. Williams'
Medicine Company, Schenectady, X. Y.
The Kind or Fowl to KiiIfp.
Select in the make-up of a fowl a
bird that carries a large amount of
meat if you want a bird for the table.
To secure meat a peculiar configuration
Is essential. A large, projecting crop
is unnecessary, for some of the meat
iest birdn look flat in the breast It is
necessary to have the quartern ex
tremely broad. If they round out, then
so much the better, because there is
meat carried upon the breast bone. A
deep keel bone to the breast well lined
with muscle should round out and feel
on the bird very much as a duck does
when he is dressed. Secure a bird witli
a large thigh, because the thigh joint
and the bone down through the leg
carry a large amount of meat. Look
out for a strong shoulder because the
muscles that make the shoulder are
the muscles that make their way in the
A Brcad-and-Butter Miss, a novel b
George Paston (Harper A- Brothers), is
the story of an Eglish girl who, in the
opening chapter, is introduced as barely
seventeen years of age, the eldest
daughter in a very poor but well-connected
family, and certainly not a vain
young person, for she blushes crimson
with pride and gratification when her
mother says to her: "You wouldn't be
bad-looking if you were decently
dressed, and 1 don't think you are de
Void of common-sense, or I should't
trust you alone in a modern country
house." In the course of the agreeably
and wittilj told story we find her placed
in "a modern country-house' not
alone, but among fashionable people,
and exposed to temptations which fully
justfTy the maternal solicitude.
And Molnmen Stick to l'.
"The word sugar," said Mr. Biflleby,
"is often used in the plural. For exam
ple, we see on a sign, 'Sugars and mo
lasses;" but we never use molasses in
that form, though there are various
kinds and grades of it as there are of
sugar. I suspect that our use of the
plural is dictated to a considerable ex
tent by a desire to make the best possi
ble showing of everything. Tims "teas,
coffees, sugars,' no doubt conveys in a
general way an idea of a larger and
more varied stock than tea, coffee and
sugar would da But this effect would
scarcely be produced by the plural af
molasses. Whether it were right or
wrong we should be more inclined to
laugh at 'molasseses' and so, for the
sake of euphony, if for no other season.
we stick to just plain molasses.' New
In the character of Napoleon there
was little room for the gentler passion,
but Professor Sloane's Life of tiie Km
peror, in The Century, brings out the
one clement of love there was in It's
early days his affection for Mile, du
Colombier. That this could not have
been very deep is shown by the fact
that Napoleon himself laughed at it
five years later. In his "Dialogue on
Love" he says. "I, too, was once in
love," and proceeds, after a few lines,
to decry the sentiment a- "harmful to
mankind a something from which God
would do well to emancipate it.
I.aily ISosHiorj X-f-UI:ic--.
Some years ago an old Frenchwoman
died in a poor part of Dublin, and her
little effects were put up for auction.
Among other odds and en-is was a neck
lace of dirty looking green slones.
which did not attract much attention.
However, a shrewd pair of .lews thought
there might be money ;n it" and de
cided on purchasing, clubbing together
!i for the purpose.
On taking it to a well known jeweler
he promptly offered il.."..0, which sum
they refused, and sold the necklace f
purest emeralds for 7,000 in London,
where Lord iiosebery on his marriage
purchased it for something like 20.00".
The old Frenchwoman's mother had
been attached to the court of France,
and the emeralds had once formed part
of the crown jewels. London Answers.
The Evolution of the Country Club is
discussed by Casper V. Whitney in the
December number of Harper's Maga
zine. "We Americans do nothing be
halves," says Mr. Whitney. "Perhaps
we should enjoy life more if we did:
and the history of the countrv club, as
much as anything else, rears witness
to our tendency to superlative develop
ment. From havinjr not a single
country club in the entire Fnitcd States
of America twenty-five years ago, we
have in half that period evolved the
handsomest in the world."
The men not only hnvo to set 1 chind high
hats at the theatre, ut they have to p.iv
TURNING THE JOKE.
It Was a Good One. But the Ventrilo
quist Didn't Itcpsat It.
A ventriloquist had great fun on a
New York olovated train lately, and
at the same time put a train guard in
danger of being attacked by a score
of indignant passengers. Thon ho
wu warned that ho had better loavo
It was a stormy night and tho train
was crowded with passengers going
down town. In tho roar car every
seat wa? taken when tho train left tho
tfinaty-third street station in Colum
bus avenue. ' In ono of tho rear seats
was a lien-cm who appeared to bo en
joying a calm sleep.
Just as tho train was approaching
tho Seventy-second street station a
voice at the forward door called out:
Fifty-ninth street change cars
for Ninth avenue."
Tho vyice was clear and resonant.
Every ono in tho car heard it. an un
usual thing on elevated trains, as
every on knows. A dozen passen
gers who thought they had been car
ried beyond their stations at Seventy
secoild and Sixty-sixth streets hurried
to the door, and as many more who
wanted to change cars at Fifty-ninth
street joined in the forward move
ment. Passengers for Seventy-second
and Sixty-sixth streets were angry lo
calise they lxdieved they would have
to go back in tho storm.
As the head of the procession
reached the door the train guard
poked in his betid and called:
Seventy-second st rect.'
The train halted with a jerk which
threw a half dozen passengers off
their feet. There was a strugglo at
the door ltetween those who wanted
to get olf the train and those who
didn't, and by the time the train
moved forward there wero a dozen
passengers angry enough to assault
What in thunder do 3-011 mean by
this performance?" demanded one of
them as he approached the conductor.
Why did you call out Fifty-ninth
street when the train was at Seventy
second?" "But I didn't."' said the train guard.
"Yes you did!" shouted tho angry
passengers in chorus, and one big
man put- him-elf in a position to at
tack the guard.
But I know ho didn't," piped a
shrill voice just under the roof of tho
Everyone looked up in astonish
ment, and the amazement was in
creased when a voice which seemed to
come from Ivucath tho car tloor said,
soothingly: "Calm yourselves, gentle
men, calm yourselves. I called out
The passengers, recognizing the sit
uation, retreated to their seats and
lM'gan looking around. The suspicion
ltegan to fall upon the sleepy man in
the rear corner. A big man the one.
who wanted tc fight the train guard
went over to him and said:
"That was a lino joke, but don't
you think you had lnjtter get off at
the next station?"'
Tho sleepy man left the car at
Fifty-ninth street and took another
train down town.
It may almost Ik claimed," says
Professor Wanvn P. Laird of the uni
versity of Pennsylvania, "that Phila
delphia is at once the most curious-,
thu most typical and the most instruc
tive of American cities curious be
cause of the strange medley of its
more pretentious buildings and their
singularly eccentric individualism;
typical of American practice in its
broadest aspect, because of the al
sence of restraint and defiance of
precedent shown by the great ma
jority of its architects: and instruc
tive, ltecatise of its contrast, for no
other American city has so wido a
field of architectural error to offer in
contrast to its works of real merit."
About tho Hollar Mark.
There are several theories to ac
count for the origin of our dollar
First Some say it is a combination
or monogram composed of tho letters
lT. and S., tho initials of the United
J-ocond It may have been derived
from "II. S.,"' the mark of tho Homan
Third It N probably a combina
tion of I. an I S.. from Pesoduro, a
Spanish term signifying "hard dollar."'
A fourth rea-on assigned is that it is
a "piece of eight," and designated by
the svmbol s.
Mistress, Bridget, I must object tt,
your extra vagan'". You sit hero in
the kitchen, reading with two gas jets
bla dng until 1 1 o'clo-k cvtvy night!
Bridget -!l, ma'am, if you'd only
let in" in'hcr'airi my gintleman frind
ht-rt-t lire nights a wck I'd Iiavo as
litt!.- is" for th gas as Miss Mabel do
in the parlor on the night-, phwin she
H-civcs til'; utTinti'n- o" that young
1 dude wi 1 tiie shkiinv le 'S an' tho
Willing t (.iv Inform ition.
t'ustomer -I'm a stranger in vour
' village. Can you te:l iiv where I
1 shall - Iik'i to find the "Autocrat
of tlie Breakfast TabI-?"'
I Clerk, in tii" countrv drag store
! Whv whv. 1 don't think thev keep it
here, but they've got -omc first-rate
I maelcr.-l at the store over there
icrost tlr; roa I.
I ";trii;r.j oi of .1 t.rr.w.ntr .Mind.
I Tommv -Yo : say Dcs-mbar is the
j hist month of the year. j;a?
1 Tonvny's i at her -Yes.
! To smy - Aii I Jairary is tho first?
1 Tomnr.'s rather Yes. certainly.
1 To.v.mv Well, how i it, then," that
i I'pfcni'j-r always comos afore Janu-
j ary.'- -Chicago Becord.
, A Fe.irful ICfttrihiition.
I Miss Fanny -That hideous old Mr-
Jones had the impudence to propose
Miss .Jennie You gave him tho
Mi- Fanny No. I did noL Just
to punish him I accepted his offer. He
is worth half a million. Texas Sift
inga. J xc?p:io:n to the Itnle.
He I suppose you can go anywhere
on your bicycle?
She No. indeed.
He That's strange. I always heard
that where there's a wheel there's a
way. Texas .Sittings.
THB OLD RELIABLE
Cohmlms - State Bank 1
fW Iitemt n Tlmi
lata ims 11 Real Estate,
(fcMfca, OU4tA Hv Yrnrk tat afl
IIIII ! 11-IAMIH : TICKETS.
BUYS GOOD NOTES
Aai Uatto Cartesian vhta tty Ntod HI
OFFICERS AND niRECTOUS:
Lbander Gkrrarp, Pres't,
B. H. Henry, Vico Prest,
M. Brugqer, Cashier.
Jonx Stauffer. G. W. Hulst.
Authorized Capital of - $500,000
Paid in Capital, - 90,000
O. H. SHELDON. I'res't.
D. P. II. OEIII.RIOII. Vice Pres.
CLARK OKAY. Cashtor.
DANIEL SCIIKAM. Ass't Cash
H. M. Wii9T.ow, II. V. II. Or.ni.mcn.
O. II. 8iiKi.no:, W. A. McAlli.steh,
Jonas Weluu. Caul Uie.nkk.
B. C. Obat.
J. Henry Wdrdeman,
Uko. V. Oali.ky.
A. !. It. Oeiimucii.
J. V. IIecker Estate,
Bank of deposit; Interest allowed on tlmo
deposits; buy and sell exchange on Unltod
States and huropr. and liuy and sell avail
able securities. We shall ho pleased to re
ceive your business. We solicit your pat
First National Bank
A. ANDERSON. J. H. GALLEY.
President. Vice Pros't.
O. T. ROEN, Cashier.
.lUMMOIf, . AHDHWOS.
SUtemeBt ef the CoRdltfoa at the Close
r Bisiaeei Jaij 12, 1893.
Loans and Discounts 9 241,407 5?
Real Fstate Furnlturo and Fix
tures 115,781 01
D. S. Honds 15,X) 0
Due from other banks $37,878 ai
Cash on Hand 21.867 M S9.743 P3
Capital Stock paid 1b
..I 60.000 00
.. .000 0)
.. 4.57S 00
.. 13.500 00
.. 2!5.119 37
Coffins : and : Metallic : Cases !
ty Repairing of all kinds of Uphol
J-tf COLTJMBC8. NEBRASKA,
IS FBXPARrD TO rCRNIsn ANYTHING
bzqcireo or a
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