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About The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911 | View Entire Issue (May 3, 1882)
tATKS OP ADFKTHI- THE JOURNAL. ZSTBusiness and professional cards of five lines or less, per annum, five dollars. 13T For time advertisements, apply at this office. ZSTLogal advertisements at statute rates. JSTFor transient advertising, sea rates on third page. J3T All advertisements payable monthly. ISSUKI) KVKRY WEDNKsDAY, M. K. TURNER & CO., Proprietors and Publishers. ,-! 'OFFICE, Eleventh St., p stair in Journal Building. tkrms: Per year Sirmonths Threemonths Single copies COLUMBUS, NEB., WEDNESDAY, MAY 8, 1882. WHOLE NO. 625. VOL. XIIL--N0. 1. h: fimtpl w ;t r C-" -H: h2, k-at-s f.W M 't 3! 1 a '- CONGRESSIONAL DELEGATION. C. H. VasMyck, U. S. Senator, Neb. mska City. Alvik Saundkrs, U. S. Senator, Om&ha. E. K. Valk.stixk, Rep.. West Point. T.-J.-ilAJORS, Contingent Bep., Peru. STATE DIRECTORY: Albinus Nance, Governor, Lincoln. S.J. Alexander, Secretary of State. " John Wallichs, Auditor, Lincoln. G.A1. Uartlett, Treasurer, Lincoln. C.J. Dilworth, Attorney-General. V.Y. W.Jones, Supt. Public Instruc. C.J. Nules, Warden of Penitentiary. W0VAhibte1 I Prison Inspectors. C. II. Gould, J.O. Carter, Prison Physician. H.P. Mathcwson, Supt. Insane Asylum. JUDICIARY: George B. Lake,? As!ociatc Judges. AnianaCobl). 1 S: Maxwell, Chief Justice, FOUKTII JUDICIAL DI6TKICT. G. V. Post, Judge, York. 31. B. Reese, District Attorney, Wahoo. LAND OFFICERS: M. R. Hoxie, Register, Grand Island. Wni. Anyan. Receiver, Grand Island. LEGISLATIVE: State Senator. M. K. Turner. " Representative, . W. Lehman. COUNTY DIRECTORY: J. G.Iliggin-'. County Judge. John Stauller. County Clerk. J. W. Earlv, Treasurer. D. ('. Kavanaugh, Sheriff. L.J. Crmer, Surveyor. M. Maher, ) Joseph Rivet, Countv Commissioners. U. J. Hudson, ) Dr. A. Heintz, Coroner. J. E.Moncrief Supt. of Schools. .M,!?JSS!fasfj"lice-0fthe,,"e'- CITY DIRECTORY: J. R. Meagher, Mayor. A. It. Coin-nth, Clerk. J. It. Delsman, Treasurer. V. N. IIiniley, Police Judge. J. E. North, Engineer. councilmkn: 1st Ward John Rickly. G. A. S-hroeder. -2d Ward Pat. Havh. I.Gluck. Zd Ward J. Rasmussen. A. A. Smith. (y'olambaN Pest OHce. Open on Sundays train 11 A.M. to 12m. and from 4:30 to 6 r. M. Business hours except Sunday G a. m. to 8 P. M. Eastern mails close at 14 a. m. Western mails close at 4:15 p.m. Mall leave Columbus for Lost Creek, Genoa, St. Edwards. Albion, Platte Center, Humphrey, Madison and Nor folk, every day (except Sundays) at 4:35 p. in." Arrives at 10:?"i. For Shell Creek and Crei -in, on Mon days and F-ldays, 7 A. M., returning at 7 P. M., same davs. For Mcxis, Patron and David City, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, i u u Arrives til H m For Conkling Tuesdays and Saturdays 7 a. m. Arrives ( p. in. same days . U. P. Time Table. Easticard Bound. Emigrant, Xo.6,leaves at ... 0:25 a. in. Passeng'r, " 4, " "... 11:00 a. m. Freight, " S, " " 2:15 p.m. Freight, "10, " ".... 4:30 a.m. Westtcard Bound. Freight, No. 5, leaves at. .. 2:00 p. m. Passeng'r, " 3, " " .. 4:27 p. m. Freight, "0, " " .... 6:00 p.m. Emigrant. "7. " " .... 1:30 a.m. Every day except Saturday the three lines leading to Chicago connect with U P. trains at Omaha. On Saturdays there will be but one train a day, as hnwn by the following schedule: O.. N. A B. II. ROAD. Time Schedule No. 4. To- take effect June 2, 'SI. For the government and information of employees only. The Company reeres the right to vary therefrom at pleasure. Trains daily, Sundays excepieu. Outward Bound. Inward Bound. Norfolk 7:20 a. m. Mun&ou . 7:47 " Madison .8:20 " Humphrevl):05 " PL Centre 9:48 LostCreeklO.09 " Columbusl0:55 " Columbus 4:.""i P.M. LostCreek5:21 " PL Centre 5:42 " llumphrcv0;25 " JMadison ".7:04 " Munson ..7:43 " Norfolk ..S:04 AI.niON IUIANCU. Columbus 4:45 p.m. LostCreek5:31 ' Genoa 6:10 " St.Edward7:00 " Albion ...7:47 " Albion ....7:43 a.m. St. Ed wards :30 " Genoa 9:14 " LostCreek9:59 " Columbusl0:45 " B. M. TIME-TABLE. .Leaves Columbdsr 5:45 a.m. " Bellwood 6:30 " " David Citv, 7.20 " " Garrison, 7:40 " V Ulysses 8:25 " " Stapleburst, .... S:.V " " Seward, 9:30 " " Rubv 9:50 " " Milford. 10:15 " " Pleasant Dale, 10:45 " " Emerald 11:10 " Arrives at Lincoln, 11:50 M. (Leaves Lincoln at 12:50 p.m. and ar rives in Columbus 7:00p. M. Makes close connection at Lincoln for all points east, west and south. H. LITERS & CO., BLACKSMITHS AND "Wagon Builders, Xm Brick Shop oppoillr Hrtnti's tlrug Stsrf. ALL KINDS OF WOOD AND IRON WORK ON WAGONS AND BUGGIES DONE ON SHORT NOTICE. Eleventh Street, Cohtmbus, Nebraska. 50 NEBRASKA HOUSE, . I; J. MARMOY, Prep'r. Nebraska Ave., South of Depot, COLL'nHU, IVES. A' new house, newly furnished. Good accommodations. Board by day or week at reasonable rates. 3TSet a. Flrnt-Claw Table. Meals, 25 Cts. Lodgings.... 25 CU. 3S-2tf IJLW, reax estate AND GENERAL COLLECTION OFFICE, BY W. S. GEER MONEY TO LOAN in small lot on larm property, time one to three years. Farms with some improvements bought and 'hold. Ofice for the present at the Clother House. Columbus, Neb. 347-x u Busnriss caeds. A IVDEKSOIV 4c ROEM, BASKERS, Collection, Insurance and Loan Agents, Foreign Exchange and Pas sage Tickets a specialty. pOKELUN Sc MlJft,L.ITAl, ATTORNEYS-A1-LA W, Up-stairs in Gluck Building, 11th street, Above the New bank. XT J. HUlMOaU NOTARY PUBLIC, 12th Street, 1 doors west of Haa-a-oas Hoaae, Columbus, Neb. 491-y pvR. M. O. THWKTO. RESIDENT DENTIST. Office over corner of 11th and North-st. All operations first-class and warranted. iiii;a0 harder shop: HENRY WOODS, Prop'R. t3TEvcry thing in first -class style. Also keep the bet of cigars. 516-y TIT F, MYERM, M. ., HOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN. Will attend to all calls night and Ouicc with O. F. Merrill, east or A & N. Depot. 513mo vrcALI.IHTER BROS., 1 A TTORNE YS AT LA W, Office up-stairs in McAllister's build ing. 11th St. W. A. McAllister, Notary Public. J. M. MACKAKLAND, B. R. COWDKRY, Attcnij- xsi Kemj Title. CdlieisT. LAW AND COLLECTION OFFICE OF MACl ARiiAtfD & COWDERY, Columlw, : : : Nebraska. Tj H.RUNCHE, llth St., nearly opp. Gluck's store, Sells Harness, Saddles, Collars, Whips, Blankets, Curry Combs, Brushes, etc., at the lowest possible prices. Repairs promptly attended to. BYRON MILLKTT, Justiceof the Peace and Notary Public. IBYROX MILLETT, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Columbus Nebraska. N. B. He will give cloo attention to all business entrusted to him. -28 T OUIS SCHREIBER, BLACKSMITH' AND WAGON MAKER. All kinds of repairing done on short notice. Buggies, Wagons, etc., made to order, and all work guaranteed. Cy-Shop opposite the " Tattersau," live Street. ;25 OH W AU2VER Sc tVEMXCOTT, ATTHK-- CHECKERED BAEN, Are prepared to furnish the public w'th good teams, buggies and carriages for all occasions, especially for funerals. Also conduct a feed and sale stable. 4? TAMES PEARSALL IB PREPARED, WITH FIEST - CLASS APPA BA TUS, To remove houses at reasonable rates. Give nim a call. -VTOT1CE TO TEACHERS. "" J. E. Moncrief,.Co. Supt., Will be in his office at the Court House on the first Saturday of each month for the purpose of examining applicants for teacher's certificates, and for the transaction of any other business pertaining so schools. 567-y TAMES SALMON, CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER. Plans and estimates supplied for cither frame or brick buildings. Good work guaranteed. Shop on 13th Street, near St. Paul Lumber Yard, Columbus, Ne braska. . 52 6mp. WILLIAM RYAN, DEALER IN KENTUCKY WHISKIES irtnes, Ales, Cigars and Tobacco. l3Schilz's Milwaukee Beer constant ly on nana. Emcvkxtii St Cou;mbu8. Nkb. D R. CARL. S4CHOXTE. VETERINARY SURGEON. Speaks German, English and Scandi navian. Office at Dowtv. Weaver A Co's drug store. ' Columbus, Nebraska. Dr.. UTTCHILL ft XATT; COLUMBUS. MEDIUL I STOICAL iXOTTI, Surgeons O., N. 4: B. H.B.Jl., Asst. Surgeons U.F. i?'y, COLUMBUS, NEBRASKA. J S. MURDOCH & SON, Cirpentere and Contractors. Have had an extended experience, and will guarantee satisfaction in work. All kinds of repairing done on short notice. Our motto is. Good work and fair prices. Call and give us an oppor tunitytoestimateforyou. tTShop 13th Strobe door west of Friedbof A Co's. store, Columbus. Nebr. 483-y COLI1MBII8 Restaurant and Saloon! E. D. SHEEHAN, Proprietor. t3"WholesIe nd Retail Dealer in For eign Wines, Liquors and Cigars, Dub lin Stout, Ssotch and English Ales. t3T Kentucky Whiskies a Specialty. OTBTERS in their season, by the case can or dish. . r. Utfc Strt. Semtk of Dt. F. SCHECK, Manufacturer and Dealer in CIGARS AND TQBACCO. ALL KINDS OF SMOKING ARTICLES. Store oh Olive St., near the old Pott-office CoIaoBbna Nebraska. 21-ly ABVESTI8EMEHTS. MflHERY! MILLINERY! Mrs. M. S. Drake HAS JUST RECEIVED A LARGE STOCK OF sprihg axd summer HILIHERT AID FJUGY GOODS. T3T A, FULL ASSORTMENT OF EV ERYTHING BELONGING TO A FIRST-CLASS MILLIN ERY STORE.I Nebraska Avenue, Ueo doors north of the State Bank. 27-tf BECKER & WELCH, PROPRIETORS OF SHELL CREEK MILLS. MANUFACTURERS AND WHOLE SALE DEALERS IN FLOUR AND MEAL. OFFICE. COLUMB US. NEK. Dr. A. HEINTZ, DEALER IN HE MICHES. CEEHICALS. WUVES, LIQUORS, Fine Soaps, Brushes, PERFUMEEY, Etc., Etc., And all articles usually kept on haqd by Druggists. Physicians Prescriptions Carefully Compounded. Eleventh street, near Foundry. COLUMBUS. : NEBRASKA. SPEICE & NORTH, General Agents for the Sale of REAL ESTATE. Union Pacitic, and Midland Pacific R. R. Lands for sale at from $3.00 to $10.00 per acre for cash, or on five or ten years time, in annual payments to- suit pur chasers. We have also a large and choice lot of other lands, improved and unimproved, for sale at low price and on reasonable terms. Also businesi and residence'lots in the city. We keep a complete abstractor title to all real es tate in Plat'te County. G21 COIiUMBUN, NEB. WHOLESALE A RETAIL GrEOCEKS! ALSO DKALKRS IN Crockery, Glassware, Lamps, Etc., and Conntrv Produce of all Kinds. THE BENT OP FLOUR AL WAYS KEPT OX HAND. FOR THE LEAST MONEY JdTGoodB delivered free of charge to any part of the city. Terms cash. Corner Eleventh and Olive Streets, Columbus, Neb. WM. BECKER, DKALKR IX ALL KINDS OF FAMILY GROCERIES! I KEEP CONSTANTLY ON HAND A WELL SELECTED STOCK. Teas, Coffees, Sugar, Syrups, Dried and Canned Fruits, and other Staples a Specialty. DellTered Free u part rthe Cliy. I1BJ I AM ALSO AGENT FOR THE CEL EBRATED COQUHXARD Farm and Spring Wagons, of which I keep a constant supply on hand, but few their equal. In style and quality, second to none. CALL AMD IXAJUT PRICES. Cor. Thirteenth and K Streets, near A. it N. Depot. GOODS Joked to Death. Frederick Miller, a large, athletic, bat weak-minded laborer, died in a cell in the Second and Queen street police sta tion on Sunday night, literally and actu ally frightened to death. Miller lived with his wife and step-daughter in hum ble apartments in a tenement back of No. 903 South Fifth street. He had worked for several yeare as a laborer in the lumber yard of Robert Clark, at Fifth street and Washington avenue. Among his fellow-laborers Miller was noted for his feats of strength and for his weakness of mind. Last August a board-yard cur that had installed him 6elf on the premises became trouble some to neighbors, and Mr. Clark or dered him to ie killed. Miller tender heart caused him to interpose between the dog and his executioner. He took the animal in his arms and was rewarded by a snap which lacerated his lip. A physician cauterized "the wound, and nothing would have been heard of Jt afterward had not his fellow-workmen deemed it a proper subject to tease their feeble-minded comrade, of whose strength they stood in awe. He seemed to take little notice of it at first, but within a month the wounded lip broke out in renewed ulceration. This, in stead of abating the ill-considered jests of his fellows, seemed rather to aggra vate them. When he came to work in the morninjr their salutation was: "Well, you ain't mad j'et," and through out the day they persisted in keepiugtho subject before his mind until he became a prey to the delusion that hydrophobia had seized him. He had repeatedly told his wife that the dread was on him, but the active phase of the delusion began only on last Wednesday. He com plained of an oppression of the chest which prevented him from breathing, and professed to feel an aversion, which re vented him from taking anything iquid. There was entire absence of any of the symptoms indicating true hydro phobia. The wound lately healed was not es- Eecially sensitive, although he sat rub ing it with his finger tips by the hour and moaning his dreads in disjointed sentences. Excepting the labored breathing there was no indication of spasmodic action of the vital functions. Dr. Duval, of Fourth and Christian streets, was called on Thursday. Mill er's employer had'endeavored to make his mind easy by telling him that he might lay off for a few days, but this did not diminish his apprehensions. Dr. Duval made a close examination, and concluded that the labored breathing the only disordered function as far as he could ascertain was due simply to a severe cold. He endeavored to quiet the alarm of the patient and succeeded so well that he was persuaded to take a few swallows of a harmless potion which was prescribed merely to test the genu ineness of the aversion to liquids. Mill er said that he could swallow anything the doctor mixed all right, and after en deavoring to impress on his mind that he had no symptoms of hydrophobia the physician left. When Mrs. Miller a few minutes afterward tried him again with the potion he threw the bowl and con tents at her, narrowly missing doing her serious injury. His feet were soaked iu hot water, in accordance with medical advice, and the contact of his skin with fluids did not produce any sign of aver sion. He, however, refused to eat or drink anything, but sat moaning by the hour, head resting on one hand, while with the other he incessantly felt the lip where the dog had bitten. Now and again he would start up suddenly and rush to the window or door, complain ing of a choking sensation. Neighbors kindly relieved Mrs. Miller in waiting on him, and endeavored to calm his nerves and persuade him out of his de lusion. Dr. Duval called again on Fri day and saw no reason to.change his be lief that hydrophobia was not the cause of the ailment, although he become con vinced that the delusion was likely to progress to dangerous mania. He so advised Mrs. Miller and suggested that she should have help constantly by her. This her kind-hearted neighbors en abled her to do. Miller was sitting with his face buried in his hands when Dr. Duval called on Saturday. His mania had progressed very noticeably and the case was plain ly one for hospital treatment. In his conference with Mrs. Miller he ex pressed his opinion. Within an hour after the physician's departure Miller suddenly aroused from his lethargic condition, and rushing to the door, took three or four breaths of fresh air. Returning, he advanced toward his wife in a menacing manner and demanded to know whether she would consent to send him to the hospital. She replied that she would not, and this seemed to pacify him. A few minutes afterward she went out, leaving him in the charge of a neighbor of very diminutive size and strength. She returned to find the neighbor shooting through the door like a bolt from a catapault under the impulse of her husband's enormous strength, increased by acute mania. He had suddenly arisen from his lethargy, and, catching the unfortunate neighbor by the throat, with the words, "hospital, will you," hurled him through the door. Mrs. Miller, al though terribly alanned, entered with the hope of pacifying him, but he ejected her with equal violence, and when alone in the room said, "I'll have some amusement." The few chairs were- first broken into kindling wood; a table was demolished; the few mantel ornaments were smashed, and in the wildness of his craziness the maniac turned over the stove and scat tered the burning coals over the floor. In a minute the room was all ablaze. Neighbors came promptly with buckets of water and the fire was extinguished. A policeman was summoned and Miller was taken to the polioe station at Sec ond and Queen streets. This was nine p. m. on Saturday. Dr. Duval had gone with Miller from his house to the cell, and advised that he should be taken at once to some hos pital where there were appliances for treating the violent insane. The, officers on duty, however, said that they had no authority to send him to any place except the almshouse, and they could not send him there until they "had the authorization of the guardians of the poor. Hence, he remained in the un comfortable hospitality of a police cell. His violent mood shad now become very frequent. The janitor discovered him hanging by a suspender in time to pre vent sqicide. Once during the day he was brought into the front room to ac commodate Dr. Duval, who continued to ameliorate his condition as well as ho could. A hypodermic injection of mor phia of unusual strength, so far from quieting him, seemed rather to excite him the more, and seven stalwart offi cers had all they could do to return him to his celL In another paroxysm he made frantic eflorts to jerk the cell door open, and actually bent the heavy iron bars. Etforts were made to persuade him to eat and drink, but he hurled the j the food at the per At ten o'clock on Sunday night he was sitting, seemingly tranquil, with his face buried in his hands. He seemed to be breathing reg ularly, and, in spite of Dr. Duval s re mark that he would not be surprised to find him dead in the morning, the po licemen thought him all right. An hotir afterward he was found dead on the floor of the cell, which he had occupied for twenty-six hours. As to the cause of his death there can be little doubt. The inconsiderate jokes of his fellow-workmen had preyed upon an infirm mind until a mania as deadly as hydrophobia thoroughly possessed him. Philadelphia Press. A Weird New Year's Incident The closing moments of the old year had arrived. Laurel Hill Cemetery was wrapped in the darkness of night, and a heavy fog hung over the stately piles of marble which mark the re&tinir places of kne distinguished dead, obscuring them from view. Suddenly the quiet was broken by the tolling of bells and the shrieks of locomotive whistles. Almost simultaneously with these tokens of re spect to the expiring year a bright sil ver' light tlashed over a corner of the city of the dead. A moment later and all was darkness again. Then three flashes followed each other in quick suc cession. Presently the din was in creased tenfold, spreading the news that the new year had come. Again the weird light reappeared. Its rays encir cled a vault. The iron doors were open, and over the group of people who stood iu the entrance a double row of shelves, nearly every one occupied by a coflin, could be seen. The group comprised live gentlemen and a lady, all attired in deepest mourning. " Another year gone and a new one in its place," said the lady, in a low musical voice, as she gazed pensively at the coffin on the thirdlowcr shelf to the left. "One more year," responded tho gentleman nearest her, " and we are all here. How many will be left at the next appointment?" The members of the group looked at each other in silence, and then again directed their glances to the interior of the vault. For the next five minutes they stood in this attitude, motionless, Then the possessor of the musical voice remarked, as she drew her watch from its hiding-place: "Ten miputes after twelve our mission is ended." With a last look at the coffin the sex tet moved slowly away and entered the carriages which had been waiting at the gateway, the grave-keeper, who had been wandering at a respectful distance, swung the iron doors and fastened the lock, the light was extinguished, and all was gloom. There is a peculiar story back of the scene which was thus enacted in the early minutes of 1882. Back in the '70s there died in this city a gentleman who was distinguished for his peculiarities as he was renowned for his wealth and good deeds. When his will was opened it was found that he had laid a sacred injunction on his children that so long ax the' remained alive they should see the old year out and the new one in at the foot of his coffin. Ten years have passed away, and the injunction has not once been forgotten, although the little group of Saturday night looked upon the caskets which contained the remains of four of their family who had in as many years followed the father to his long home. The others are now widely scattered. Some of them are located in Vermont, some remained in this city, while one has emigrated so far away as Nebraska, but at the close of every year they journe' to this city and hold their family reunion in the presence of the dead and under the glare of the calcium lights. Philadelphia Record. A Juggler's Victim. The Chinaman named All Ling Look, whose performance with a cannon led to the death of a boy named Smythe ih a Brighton music-hall Tuesday night, was yesterday brought before the magislrates and charged with causing the "boy's death. The Town Clerk un dertook the prosecution, and explained that the performance which brought about the melancholy event consisted in the prisoner balancing a cannon on a dagger which he put down his throat, with the end only projecting from his mouth. Whilst balanced on this pro jecting point, the cannon, which was loaded with powder, was fired by prisoner's wife. Some attempt was made to clear the way in front of the cannon, but, when it was fired, the charge took effect on deceased, who' was sitting in the gallery, twenty-two feet off, just in the line of fire, and the result was that the top of his head was completely blown off. The magistrates asked whether this was the first per formance, but it appeared that a simi lar trick was performed on the previous night, whilst a solicitor who appeared on the prisoner's behalf stated that it had been performed in various towns at different music-halls in England and abroad without accident, and no one more deeply deplored the melancholy event than did the prisoner. The caunon was produced in court. It ws made of hai u wood, cased in tin or zinc, covered with a black composition, and fastened together with nails. Its length was between three and four feet, witTi a bore of about three inches in diameter. The dagger which prisoner partially swallowed before balancing the cannon upon it, was about two feet in length, and the hilt fitted a hole in the under part of the cannon. Evidence was given that deceased was sitting in the front row of the gallery, and that be fore the cannon was fired prisoner waved his arms as if to motion people away from the line of fire. When he light was applied to the cannon deceased fell back and rolled on his side. The top of his head was completely smashed," and the brains were scattered over the audience. A medical man who was called in found in the gallery a pellet, about the size of a hen's eg, made of paper, but compressed so tightly as to be as hard as wood, and this, from its appearance, had evidently been fired from the cannon and had pierced de ceased's brain, as it was blackened by gunpowder smoke and covered with blood. Prisoner was ultimately re manded, the magistrate refusing to ac cept bail. His solicitor observed that he would venture to suggest that the occurrence was a pure accident. Lon don News. . . . m It is one of the unoxplainable things of moral ethics how people decide so I promptly as to how little rain and bad weayier it takes to keep them away from prayer meeting, and how much is required to keep them away from a good show. Steubenoille Herald. " Is that your little boy?" " No, not exactly; when he was a week old he was left on mv door-step. I am, you may say, his step-father." vessels containing son who otlered it. Heaest, Bat Not To Honest. Brother Gardner to the Lime-Kiln Club: "If I should find a perfeckly honest man honest in his expressions, honest in bis dealings, sincere in his statements I shouldn't like him. He would be a lonesome object in dis aigc. He would seek in vain fur companion ship. While 1 believe dat honesty am de bes' policy, I doan' look to see it Fracticcd beyond a certain limit When trade mules wid a man I kinder like to doubt his word. I want to feel dat he am keepin' still 'bout de ring-bones an' spavins, an' dat de beast he says am jistturnin' fo'teen y'ars will nebbersee his twenty-first birthday no nioar. It am monotonous to deal wid a man who am perfeckly honest If I lend a man money I want him to be honest 'nuff to return it, but if he kin trade me a watch worth three dollars for a gun worth seben I shall think none de less of him. If men were so sincere dat wo felt obleeged to believe whateber dey asserted we should hev no use fu'r theories an' argyments. When I gib my note I expect to pay it. When I ax s man how he would like to trade his wheelbarrow fur my dog I'm not gwine to inform him dat Ca:sar am all bark an' no bite, an' he am not gwine to tell me dat he borrowed dat wheelbarrow in de night an' forgot to return it If a grocer leaves me in charge of his sto Ize gwine to sot fur half an hour beside a box of herrings an' keep my hands in my pockets all de time. Yet, if dat same man sells me a pound of tea he expects me to try an' pass off on him a half-dollar wid a hole in it " Continer, my frens, to believe dat honesty am de bes' policy, but doan' expect too much of so-called honest men. You kiu trust men wid your wallet who would borrow a pitchfork an' nebber return it. You kin lend your hoss to a man who would cheat you blind in tradiu' obercoats. You kin send home a pa'r o' dead ducks at noon day by a man who would steal your live chickens at midnight When I lend my naybur Mocha cotlee I like to wonder if he won't pay it back in Rio. When de ole woman buys kaliker on a guarantee she rather hopes it will fade in de wahin I solemnly believe dat de world am honest nufl'jist as it am. When you gin your word stick to it if it busts de bank. " When you do a job of work do it well. When you make a debt pay it Any man who am mo' honest dan dat will want 3 ou to cut a penny in two to make out his shilling; he will ring you up at midnight to re turn your mouse-trap; he will take one shingle lroni your bunch an' oiler you de one-hundredth partof whatde bunch cost; he will borrow your boot-jack an' insist dat you borrow his wash-board to ollset it. We will now purceed to bia ness." Detroit Free Press. Frauds at Church Fain). "What a beautifully arranged Cable and what handsome articles." remarked a lady to her escort at a fair in an up town church. The table contained a fine ana of fancy articles. There were silver-mounted hand-glasses, carved dressing-cases, lace neckwear, jewlery and other goods. " How the ladies in charge must have worked to et so manv nice things contributed. Vhat a marked contrast this table preseuts to some of the others," said the gentleman. "It will bring the church quite a fund by itself." The couple moved on, and a gentleman who had heard their conversation approached and said: "You must excuse me, but I cannot help setting yon right on the subject about which you were just speaking. That table which you admire, and think will so benefit the church, is what is called a commission table, and will not obtain for the church as much money as many of the plaiuer ones. The goods are obtained from regular business houses at the current prices. What are sold are paid for. and what are not sold ate returned. All that the church receive is the commission given by tho merchant. This commission sometimes reaches as high as fifteen per cent, but more frequently does not exceed ten per cent From this you can easily see that it a commission table in an evening takes in fifty dollars, the profit only amounts to five dollars. If ten dollars is takeu in at one of the tables whei e the goods are contributed, the church fares doubly as VelI. Many ladier, like to make a great show at their tables, and adopt the commission method. It is much easier to get them this way than to get them for "nothing, or to personally make up fancy articles. People are attfart"d by the greatest dis play, and, as in the present instance, the'lady who has the commission table gets greater credit than the one who has got her goods contributed, and who has beeu to much more trouble. " Fairs are usually gotten up for a religious or charitable purpose, and the money expended at them is not for the articles received, but for the benefit of the deserving object When a man spends ten doMars at a commission table he thinks that his money is expended for this good purpose, whereas nine tenths of it goes into the pockets of the wealthy merchant, who really owns tho articles until they are sold." For the past three years the system of selling goods on commission in fairs has steadily gained ground. Many merchants sell thousands of dollars worth of goods in this way. It is considered a regular source of revenue, and is courted by many firms, who, in addi tion to receiving a fair price for their wares, also get a very good advertise ment Frequently a piano manufactur ing firm give a $500 piano to a fair, which is rallied for at one dollar a chance, there being 500 chances. For this piano the firm gets 250 in cash and 250 chances, to say nothing of the advertisement. Other valuable articles which are ra'l'ed for in large fairs are oiten obtained in this way. N. Y. Sun. There is no permanent cure for bone-spavin. It is" caused by a diseased growth of bone around the joint which cannot be removed and always remains as a source of irritation and lameness when active exercise is taken. The only alleviation is by cooling the joint by cold water applications and then blistering, which will give relief for a lime, but the lameness will return. After a time when the joint becomes grown over and immovable, the lame new will be cb.an2ed.int0 a stitf joint A. Y. Times. -A jur3 convened by the Sheriff of Queens County, N. Y., declared Charles H. Rogers to be of unsound mind, and Judge Armstrong appointed thei'oung man's mother h.s guardian. His father died about a year ago. leaving an estate worth $350,000, and Charles as his only heir. It was shown by testimony that he had no appreciation of money in ex cess of a quarter of a dollar, and in all his life had never asked for more for any purpose. His mental weakness is in great part attributed to the excessiva use of tobacco. Children's Drolleries. Not longsince a correspondent sent to a provincial paper an anecdote of which his six-year-o'd boy was the hero. Ho 6ays: "I keep a shop and sell fancy j goods. A gentleman came in to buy ' something. It was early, and my little ( bov and I were alone m the house at the time. The gentleman gave me a sovereign, and I nad to go up stairs to my cash-box. Before doing so, I went iuto the little room next to the shop and said to the 003-: ' Watch the gentlcmau, that he don't steal anything;1 and I put him on the counter. As soon as I re turned, he sang out: 'Pa, he didn't steal anything I watched him.' You may iiatigine what a position I was in." Children's questions are often no less embarrassing than the- are amusing, as may be instanced in" the ston of the uiercena little bo- who overheard a conversation respecting a wedding that was soon to take place. At breakfast the next morning he recalled tho subject b3 askiug the following question: "Papa, what do thc3' want to give the bride awa' for? Can't the3 sell her?" At a whale exhibition, a 3'oungster is said to have asked his mamma if the whale that swallowed Jonah had as large a mouth as the one before them, why didn't Jonah walk out at one cor ner. "You must think Jonah was" a fool; he didn't want to walk out and get drowned," was the quick reph" of a "oui or brother, before the mother could an It ij related of another infant inquir er w ' was looking with great interest at a aming pan of milk, that he siid denl exclaimed: "Mamma, whore do cow. -el their milk from?" " Where do 3- . get 3'our tears?" was the an swer. After a thoughtful silence. n which the mention of tears had evident ly readied certain associations, he again broke out: " Mamma, do the cows have to be spanked?" On seeing a house being whitewashed, a small bo' of three wanted to know if the house was going to be shaved. A lady, when admiring the stars on a bright night in a tropical climate, was suddunl)' asked in the must innocent wa3' b3r her little son of five 3'ears old if those were the nails that held uo Heaven. A bo" who had alwa3's refused to eat oatmeal, in spite of his mother's urgings that it was a strengthening diet, sud denly surprised her ono morning b3" eat ing "a liberal plateful and calling for more. Upon his mother asking for an explanation, he replied: "I am bound to eat oatmeal till I am strong enough to whip Johnn3' Scott." Little Freddie, when visiting a neigh bor's house, was offered a piece of bread and butter, which he accepted, but without an3" show of gratitude. "What do you 3.13', Freddie?" hinted the lad3', expecting him to sa "Thank" you." "I say it ain't cake," was the impolite response. The father of a family, after reading from the morning paper that the cold the night before was intense, the ther mometer registering raan3- degrees be low freezing-point, said: "Now, chil dren, I suppose you are taught all about that at school. Which of 3-011 can tell me what the freezing-point is?" " The paint of my nose, papa," was the prompt repl3 from one of the j'oungsters. A gentleman somewhat advanced in life, and who was never remarkable for his good looks, asked his grandchild what he thought of him. The boj-'s parents were present The 3'oungstcr made no replj. " Well, why won't 3-ou tell me what 3-011 think of me?" "'Cause I don't want to get licked," was the answer. .A mother once showed her child a beautiful doll, a St. John, of fine make and color. "See," she said, "he has been vcrj" good; and Heaven alwa3-s re wards the good bj- making them beauti ful." "Oh," said the child, lifting its shoulders, "don't believe that, mamma. This little St. John looks ver3 meek be cause he's all glued up; but if he could onl move, 3'ou'd seel ' The following remark or a little girl shows an opinion of her elders the re verse of flattering. " O dear!" sho ex claimed to her doll, "I do wish 3-ou would sit still. I never saw sueh an un eas3 thing in all ny life. WI13' doif t 3'ou act like grown folks, and be still and stupid for a while?" Chambers' Journal. Oj-sters. What number of casters a person can swallow at a sitting seems a difficult question to decide. Brillat-Savarin de clares that it was no uncommon thing at great feasts where oysters formed the introductor3 dish for several of the guests to eat a gross of them twelve dozen, and a hundred and fort3--four! Ho calculated that such a number would weigh three pounds, and that still the Gargantuan consumer could proceed comfortabty afterward with his dinner; whereas had it been three pounds of meat he had ingested he would have been obliged to crv "Hold enough!" Brillat-Savarin himself, at his celebrated luncheon to his two old friends of the Rue de Bac. offers them each two dozen as a whet. And he telLs an an cdote of a friend of his, a great arnat ir. to whom he offered a surfeit of 03 crs, but that after his friend had accoi 'dished his thirt.3 -.:ond dozen, and is still proceeding vigorously, the host lought it time to suggest dinner, at wl -h his friend behaved himself as a hung ,' man ought This seems to settle tho q otion of the digestibility of the 03-ste. for Brillat-Savarin is general trustu orth3'. The eight or, at the most, the dozen provided as hors d'eeuvres nowadays from an honorable economy necd not frighten the weakest digestion. In France there are twenty or thiify ways of dressing crustaceans, and nearly as " man3' in America. The scalloped oyster, and perhaps an oyster omelette, are the wretched achievements of most of our best cookery books. If fair read ers will tr' the following Proveueal recipe the3 will not have read this article in vain. In England it is best to bo sparing with shallot, garlic, and all these kinds of herbs. For the rest, diligentty follow the instructions: "03'stcrs au gratlfi. Take tho required number of oj-sters. Scald them in a saucepan in their own juice. Take them out; drain them in a baking-dish or scallop-shells with a lit tle sweet oil. Season them with some chopped shallot parsley, and an anchovy minced fine; pepper and salt to taste. Cover them with fine bread crumbs, and moisten them with a few drops of olive oil; put them in the oven for a few rain- j utes (-t depends on the heat of the oven), 1 and brown cither with a salamander or 1 before the fire. Just before serving, squeeze a lemon over them." London World. m m The clergj-man ha? many dutic3 such, for instance, as engineering fairs, making oyster stews ntm lemonade, and curing love-sick people 13' joining Hwis in marria 'o. FACTS AND FIGURES. There are 20,000 seeds of oats m pound, and 686,400 seeds of white clover. Tuscon, Arizona, talks about an sxhibit of minerals and agricultural products next j'ear. In perceiving the tints of scarier, ur oj-es are aflected by undulation recurring 482,000,000 times a second. Athens, along with being tM universUv town of Georgia, has no less thn five cotton factories in and around tho city. The largest North Carolina water melon hoard from this season was from Wake Count3 and weighed 60 pounds. The improvements in the plow have, according to the statement mado by Mr. Coflin, effected a saving of ninety million dollars in last year's crops. The New York Grape-Sugar Com pany has been incorporated by ex-Senator Thomas C. Piatt and others, and will have a capital of $1,000,000. It will have a branch establishment at Dos Moiu- A mammoth tree cut down in Lewis County, K, recently, and bolieved to be 3U0 years old. produced 33, 162 feet of lumber and tweuty-nve cords of fire wood It was sixteen feet in diameter and 120 feet high. There are 7,092 public housos and 4, 125 beer houses in Loudon. During 1880, 2iJ,868 persons were apprehended for drunkenness. Of these, 15,998 were males and 13,870 females. Thcavoragp of arrests for drunkenness seems to be diminishing. A new speed iudicator, called the strathraograpu, for indicating tho speed of locomotives, has been introduced on tho Hanoverian railroads. By it the engineer can read from a scale the ac tual speed of his engine at auy moment; besides, a record of the trip is kept on a strip of paper. A French chemist has obtained a ver3' valuable oil from the Kernels of the grape the refuse left after distilling brandy, or making verdigris, being iried and ground tine in an ordinary mill, and the yield of oil is in direct proportion to the fineness of tho grind ing. The oil is sweeter than nut oil, and remains fluid at a lower tempera ture. When burned in lamps it gives a bright, smokeless, odorless ana agree able tlame. WIT AM niSDOM. Hapless sons of clay are frequently bricks. . Y. Commercial Advertiser. B. Perkins says he likes to bo called a liar. He must have a howling good time. Loston Post. The drouth along the Ohio rivet has been so severe that the people are hauling water to keep the fony-boata running. Cliicuyo lYibune. A homely girl with a small and prett3 foot takes ten per cent mors comfort in this world than a pretty, faced girl who knows it is all day with her if sho falls over a log. Detroit Fret' Press. The hangman would make a good journalist, because he handles the noose. Waterloo observer. And al ways has something ready for the next tweak. Yawcob trauss. The Kansas papers tell of a man in that State who has two hearts. We reckon they "beat as one." But if that man could only fill to them what a lovety flush he would have! Burling ton Hawkeye. We heard yesterday how an An gusta man "gave himself away." the worst kind in Norfolk the other day. He went to that point on an excursion and put up at one of the tirst-class ho tels. The clerk gave his bagg:vge and the kev- to his room to a porter, who conducted the Augusta gentleman to the elevator. Closing the door they began to ascend, unperceived by the travsler. He eyed the four walls of tin levator a moment and exclaimed: "Take my baggage back to tho office; on can't put mo off in a little room ike this!" Augusta Ga ) Chronicle. Two commercial agents met at the depot with their grips, when ono said: " Hello. John, where have you been?" John said that he had been laying eff; but now he had an interest in the busi ness, and was going on the road again. The friend congratulated him on hav ing gained the proud position of part ner in one of the largest houses in Mil waukee, which was making money hand over fist when John broke in by saving: " No, I am not a partner; but the old man told me if I didn't take more interest in the business he would bounce me, so I have concluded to takr an interest in it hereafter. Good day." Feck's Sun. A iNew York Cat Market. A number of Maltese cats and kitten' occupy cages at tho entrance to a curi ous basement in Liberty Street. Whe thev are not asleep the' mew dismal) and plainly long for the liberty of ' housetop or a back fence. "Can it be possible that any part t ' this community buys cats?" the keepr of the basement was asked. He wae unable to answer at once, for a nun brought in just then a barrel full of stale bread. The dogs of all varieties in the basement clanked their chains and 3'owled, the poultry crowed and cackled, and the cats, too, mewed and looked anxious. "Do people ever buy cats?" the deal er was asked again. " Well, somewhat," he said. "I've sold tOO Maltese kittens in the last three months." " What are the ruling rates for cats now'" "Maltese kittens bring from three to five dollars. The old cats don't sell so well, because they are not so likely to sts3' at home and keep early hours, and the disreputable habits of the Toms hurt their sale a good deal. The kit- tens, though, are iu demand." " Where do they come from?" " These are Ohio cats. They come in crates from Alliance." "Are they bred there?" "The3- run wild as common cats do here, and are caught for nothing. Thev cost us here about $1 or $1.50. "Who buy them?" People passing here on their way to the ferry often stop in and gel a cat, or something. No, I never had an old maid here, or even a lady of any age, except once. Some of our best cus tomers are in Virginia- We have orders for fine cats at from $8 to $10 from Richmond, and for dogs, too. The Maltese are plenty, and the de mand is good; but if we could only get Angola cats, we could sell them with a rush at about $50 apiece. There are few of them in the cit3." "Is there any sale for what arj called 'common cats' by some people, andjiarder names still by othnrs?" "Not to speak of. People would be glad to get rid of them. But they are just as good mousers as well-bred Maltese kittens." N. Y. Sun.