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About The Norfolk weekly news-journal. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1900-19?? | View Entire Issue (Jan. 1, 1909)
t ' ff v * * * * ' TI1K NOKOL.K * KKKLY EW-SJOUNAl , KKIDAY JANUARY 1 1'JOS ' ) The Norfolk Weekly News-Journal Tlio Joiiriuil. Established 1877 P U D Lj 8 H I N 0 CO M P AN Y " W. N l7uHO. N A. Huso. ProHldont. Hoe-rotary Kvop Filday. lly mull PIT year. $1.00 Entered at llio pdHlolllfo nt Norfolk Noli. , IIH Hccoiid class matter. ToloplmncH : rldlfaflaink' No , I ! ! ! Business Olllco and .lob Hootni No. II iii ! _ . _ It IH Hiild tlmt hog cholera never uf foclst lilliul pigs. ' Mon are too apt to Hliapo tholr ru llglon liiHtead of letting tholr rollgloi liapo tliom. A teed ; many distinguished Htatow moil now will lie extinguished HtatoH iiion after March 4. Why should Hryiui fool discouraged Ilo not liOM)00 : ( ) more votes thai Alton B. Parker. The Irlali potato gets a fresh boos every day. It trots In the same claw xvltli the huttor and eggs. Ail exchange patly pitta a whol Bormon Into this sentence , " (5oil neve KOCH Into partnorHhlp with a loafor. "Ability never amounts to much , snya a modern sago , "until It acquire two moro letters s-t-nbillty. " Castro did not go to Kuropo for Biirglonl operation but for a diplomat ! oporatloa. Ho needed help along thn lino. .1. I'lorpoiit Morgan owns SOVOIT hundred rare Hlblos. Most of his vis tors lll < o his cigars hottor. than hi Itlhlos. This year's farm products ? In th United States are ostlmatod to b worth $7.500,000,000. Quito a bund of money , boy ? John D. Archbold Rooms to have o > l.auatlvc Unowlodgo on the trust bus Ing subject Why not nwko him a tiirney general ? Maine doesn't propose to take Lack seat In the progress of events During the recent hunting season sl > teen men wore shot for doer. John L. Sullivan has at last mot hi match. His wlfo says she Is goitii to tight that i.-ult for divorce. Join might as well admit that ho Is llcket The United States Stool corporatlo , lias just placed an order for sixty ne\ locomotives which Is the largest sir Klo order given by It In the past tw years. President-Elect Taft will deliver ai address before the University o Pennsylvania on Washington's blrtli day as did his predecessors McKlnlo ; niul Roosevelt. Congress now plans to pull the sof pedal In its answer to the president1 rather caustic reference to that hod In his annual message. It evldentl doesn't care to bo Pulltzerlzed. With Venezuela in the throes of revolution and Brazil and the Argei tine Republic getting ready for fit.ap , things begin to look interestin In our slstoV republics to the south. Castro seems to be more popula In Berlin than ho is In Caracas. Som men are obliged to go a long way from homo In order to got recognitlo and then they rarely deserve It. The "Uplift Society" is defined b one of Its members as "a place wher we talk about dreadful things and sa Isn't It awful ? ' " There Is a heap c that kind of mushy reform In th world. "Ike Marvel" Is dead at eighty-foui For more than half a century Donal Mitchell pleased and entertained largo number of readers by hi dreams , reveries and practical sugges tlons. Harrlman says that In fifty year the coal will bo gone. Maybe he's ge a good sized bin , but wo looked i ours last night and If It lasts lift days we shall consider ourselve lucky. One of Secretary Hay's wlso saj Ings was : "Who would succeed 1 the world should bo wlso In the us of his pronouns and utter the wor you' twenty times where he one uses the word 'I. ' " The German kaiser offers live llttl used castles at bargain counto prices. Hero Is a chance for , : Plorpont to purchase and transplan thorn stone for stone to America. W are short of ruins of that caliber hen Congress In session Is likely to b a regular thing for an Iiuleflnit length of time. When the presen short session closes the extra sosslo : will convene. Uy the time the extr Is fairly disposed of it will be Urn lor the regular long session. The British-Japanese alliance wa first formed for five years , for the 1m mediate purpose of saving China fron Absorption by Russia. It was re lowed at the end of the llrsl term for ton years. It may yet prove neces sary to nave China from Japan. It Hoenm to bo the opinion of those who host understand the situation that the withdrawal of the United States troops from Cuba will only result In anarchy on the Island. If HO Undo Sam's mildlor hoys will bo summoned hack again this ( Into to stay. Senator KIIOX'H selection to the place of premier of the cabinet moots with general approval. Mr. Tuft's judgment Is commended and It Is con ceded that Mr. Knox will make an Ideal head for a conservatively pro gressive cabinet. The frequency of rases of ptomaine poisoning all over the country shows that the pure food law has not yet effected a divorce between the prepar ation of food and commercial Indiffer ence to the crime of making money by man slaughter. Champ Clark , who will bo the Democratic loader on the Hoer of con gress , Is from Missouri. Speaking of the result of the November election ho said It was brought about "by a concatonotlon of unusually unfortu nate circumstances. " This Is a very lucid and dollnllo explanation of the situation. Governor Hughes , In an address to the citizens of Troy , pointed to a group of children and said : "Fellow- citizens , we desire to conserve our natural resources. These are our natural resources. Wo pride ourselves on the riches of our country in mine , forest and Hold , but these boys and girls are our true resources without which all else falls. Some newspapers contend that the suit brought for twenty-live thousand dollars by a woman who was caught In the ropes of an ascending balloon and dangled by one foot for fifteen minutes over the heads of a largo crowd of admiring spectators Is ask ing too much , but no woman would call It moro than a fair equivalent for services rendered. The day when the editor was a mighty force because of his person ality and when he was not obscured by the business office seems to behaving having a renalsanco. With Hrynn handling the Commoner , Roosevelt contributing to the Outlook and La Follotte launching a weekly of his own , the year 190 ! ) promises some fresh and vigorous reading , in the editorial columns. It will bo a great relief If the Pana ma canal Is ever finished satisfactorily and found to operate successfully. The gloomy predictions of those French engineers is disconcentlng to say the least. But then since the French tried and failed perhaps it is too much to expect that they should take an optimistic view of the outcome. Mayor Hlbhard of Boston will ask the legislature of Massachusetts to pass a pension act for all civic ser vants who have been with the city twenty-five years or more , but as yet no provision has been made for the men who have spent twenty-five years trying to get Into olllco ana never landed. Late advice Is to the startling effect that Mr. Bryan Is to become chancel lor of Texas University. Really , this problem of what to do with ox-candi dates Is much more serious than what to do with ex-presldonts. The ex- presidents gracefully subside to be come regular contributors to the Sat urday Evening Post , but the ox-candi dates prove not so tractable. Americans who have attempted to carry on manufacturing Industries In Japan and employ Japanese labor to run their machinery find that In spite of the extremely low wages paid the Japanese were expensive because of their inefficiency. As a superintendent of a big wire factory said : "In Amoria one man will keep four or flvo ma chines running while here It takes four or five men to keep one machine running and then they don't keep It running as It should. " And now the Iconoclasts and histor ians who are fast taking all the ro mance out of the world have pulled down another popular Idol and shorn another historical romance of its il lusion. Cleopatra , so says an-eminent Italian historian , was neither beauti ful nor attractive and the truth of the matter was that Antony wanted Egypt and her treasures and not Egypt's queen. One by one our Idols perish. Judge Hanford of Seattle objects 'o the selection of jurors whoso minds are so positively unbiased as to he vacuous. In these days twelve men who do not read newspapers , who think that "edition do luxe" Is negro dialect and that an accomplice is a fancy drink , as happened In Chicago the other day , are poorly qualified to referee a dog fight. The judge who objected to the acceptance of such jurors has adopted a sound sensible policy. A new slogan for reform of the na tion by its women might be "Let me cook the dinners and I care not who the ballots. " In spite of the fact : hat the president of the federation of women's clubs In Pennsylvania , pro tests against the hard work of women In tholr homos as degrading , It Is nevertheless In the hands of these women In the homos who work as iithor women work only for a higher purpose , to determine the morals -if the country. Many amusing stories are told of the Illegibility of public men's hand wilting. It Is said that Itufus Clioatc wioto throe different hands , one which his cleric could road and ho could not , one which ho could road and his clerli could not ii ul MHO which no one could road. Another story Is told that I hi managing editor of a largo dally penned nod a note to the editor who was In another city. The editor In reply telegraphed asking If there was any1 thing Important In the letter an hi could not read a word of It. The managing editor In turn wired that hit letter was a request for a typo writ ten copy of the editor's first letter at that was also Illegible. Think what r boon typewriters and telephones must bo to such writers. Judge Gary , head of the steel corpor atlon , was moved with an honest desire sire to help suffering humanity , whoi ho saw , In one of the poorest slun 'districts ' of Now York , over a thousam men standing In "the bread lino. " I scorned to the benevolent judge that If those men could he transportei to the western states where then was land and air and work , it wouli solve the problem. Ho and his frlendi arc talking over a transportatloi scheme , lint there conies a decldoi protest from the west that those 11101 are few of them lilted to got thel : living from the soil and would bo as badly off In the west as the oast. Tin west welcomes any man who is able and willing to till its soil , but has IK place for the ignorant , Improvldon and incompetent. The News' suggestion that the com ing state legislature should abolish the open season on prairie chickens in this state for a period of years , and in crease the open season on quail , Is meeting with favor throughout the state. The prairie chicken is verj rapidly disappearing , owing to the pro traded open season during whlcl hunters are allowed to bag this bird A continuous closed season for severa years is all tlmt will save the prairie chicken to Nebraska. Quail , on the other hand , are never materially decreased creased by hunting , the hard winters being alone able to thin their ranks In New England , whore the quail has been shot for almost a hundred years the bird is as numerous today as II ever was. Sportsmen should be al lowed to hunt quail legally moro thai fifteen days. But the prairie chlckoi should be protected by the mosl stringent law , and that Immediately. During the past few years greal changes have taken place In the methods ods of fishing with trawls or drag nets Small nets drawn by fishing boats have given place to great machines drawn by steamers , which scrape the bottom of the sea and make a cloai sweep of everything Including the telegraphic cables. It has cost the Commercial Cable company $100,00 ( during the past three months to repali the damage done by trawlers Tin cable companies demand laws prohibit ing trawling In the vicinity of tholi cables and the fishermen complaii that the cables Interfere with theli work and damage their nets. So the fight is oir between cable men am fishermen. It seems as though the ocean was large enough to accomo date both lines of business withou conflicting , but oven the ocean seemi to he getting crowded. THE GOMPERS CASE. There are two diametrically opposite views In the Gompers case. Judges and attorneys see only justice In the jail sentence as a result of Gompers flagrant violation of the Injunctloi granted by Judge Gould. Whether the Injunction was right or wrong , 1 should have been binding until re voked. The judicial mind will see thai if the example of Gompers were to be followed by all persons ordered by the courts to do or not do certain things there would be no law or respect foi law. Willfully violating an order o ; the court is defiance of the law. Law lessness is anarchy. The Injunction did not concern the right or wrong of the boycott. The Injunction merely restrained Gompers from prosecuting a boycott pending the time when the courts should decide the merits of the boycott case. The injunction was temporary , to protecl the stove company until the final do clslon should bo rendered. Gotnpen deliberately violated this Injunction Gompers contends that the Injtinc tlon interfered with free speech anil free press. His viewpoint holds thai It Is unconstitutional to Interfere with free speech and free press , and that therefore , the Injunction Itself was Illegal and wrong. He probably be lieves the United States supreme court will back him up. From many sides comes opinion that the Jail sentence wil never bo served or that If it is Gompers wll become a hero Instead of disgraced. Should he serve , it is forecasted that changes will ho wremght In the boycott or In junction laws or both. The deplorable feature of the whole affair Is that the employer and em ploye should not ho able to co-operate Instead of make war upon one an other. Tholr Intorents , In the last analysis , are mutual. THE CHRISTMAS STAMP. You've soon the Christmas stamp , Poi haps you knew what it meant , per haps It was a conundrum. News from Boston and New York Is that the sale of these stamps will continue until the end of this week , for the purpose of raising finthci funds with which te : con.bat tuberculosis. E. P , Blssoll writes a piotty story In the Ladles- Homo Journal describing the motive , behind the Christmas stamp. Ilo says : "What Is the Christmas stamp ? ' This question was asked by tons ol thousands of people In Delaware ant : Pennsylvania last December. It wll bo askoel from one end of the Unltce States to the other this Christmas That Is why this article Is written For to understand what the Christmas stamp moans will surely bo for al readers to desire to help It along , am to add It to their Christmas as part o ! the spirit of the most beautiful day litho the year. On December 7 , 1)07 ! ) , the Inhabl tants of Wilmington , Delaware , fount' ' staring at thorn from every trolly-cai fonder these words : For sale now ; the Christmas stamp ; ask anybody. This was quite enough to rouse pub He curiosity ; but , In addition , ovcrj prominent drug and department store had In Its window , or somewhere along Its counters , the legend : "Buy the Chi IM mas Stamp. " And in the- corridor of the post office a young girl , dressed as a Hod Cioss milhesat bi hind a table with a rol of stamps , the like of which no one bad seen before : each stamp bore i wreath of holly , a tiny red e-re > ss , am "Merry Christmas. " What sort of stamp was this thai had come to town ? First ami fore most , questioners found out that ii was issued by the Rod Cross , thai great organization that comes to the rescue In times of war , pestilence famine and disaster. But what war pestilence- , famine or disaster was there in prosperous Wilmington ? The answer to that sot the buyers think Ing. There- was a pestilence in Wil tnlngton , claiming one death out ol every seven. It had reigned for years claiming the best and brightest out ol many a family. The Delaware Ret ! Cross had Issued Its stamps to aid Ir attacking this pestilence the white plague of consumption and to "stami It out" In conjunction with the so cloties already at work. Every Christmas stamp cost ti penny ; every penny from its sale waste to go for active work against con sumption paying for nurses , ills pensary and sanitarium work , rellev Ing the consumptive poor , preventing infection and educating the public The little stamp was not good foi postage. It could not carry a letter but any le'ter or package could carry It , and It bore with It a message that was good for those who sent and foi those who received it. It was a con crete expression of "good-will tc men. " It meant help and healing "In His Name. " No wonder all Wilmington bought It. The newspapers took It up. The women's clubs all over Delaware at'npted It enthusiastically. The pub He school children did the same. In a week's time the stamp spreael to Philadelphia , where the Pennsyl vanla Red Cross joined hands to helj : It along. Five great department stores put it on sale in the city of brothorlj love , and girls In Rod Cross uniforms sold It In the corridors of the Phila delphia postofllce. One great Phila delphia newspaper gave it a front page "story" every day and sold It In Its business offices. The first one to bu > It there was one of the newsboys , n ragged child who bought one stamp The next was a banker who bought flvo dollars' worth. Rloh and poor young and old , bought the little "stickers. " Business firms put then ; on every letter that went out at Christmas. They were gummed on onckacos. stuck on parrels , put on boxes of candy , and used in every way The Dc-lawaro Hod Cross had hoped to sell fifty thousand stamps at the most. The sudden demand for inanj more found them unprepared. Printers and presses wcro hardly able tc satisfy the rush for moro stamps. The whole thing was so short and sudden only eighteen days to Christmas that the stamp could not be nde quatoly put upon the market. But , ii : spite of all that , the results wore re markablo. Nearly four hundred thousand stamps were sold , and ti profit of almost throe thousand del Inrs was realized. One nurse was Immediately em ployed in Wilmington to look after the consumptive poor , and another to heir at the tuberculosis sanitarium outside the city. These two nurses have been at work ever since , and drugs , mlll < and eggs have also been furnished nil year to many consumptives In theli homes. An educational anti-tuberculosis ex hlblt was also brought to Wilmington and attended by twenty thousand pee pie in ten days. From all over the union , wherevei the stamp had gone on Christmas letters tors , the question came hack at once : "Why cannot we too have the Christ mas stamp ? " So the National Reel Cross , with the secretary of war as Its- president , and branches In every state , has adopted the Christmas stamp , to make It national this year , The announcement of Its adoption was made by William H. Tnft. as secretary of war and president of the American National Rod Cross , at a great Red Cross meotliiB in the Waldorf-Astoria , inNew York , last April These new national stamps wore de signed by Howard Pyle , and will be printed this year by the million in stead of by the thousand. They can bo found nt the Rod Cross head * quarters in every state , or they can bo ordord direct from the national headquarters of the Red Cross So ciety In Washington , for a penny each , In whatever quantity desired. But whether this stamp Is sold In Maine or Florida , Delaware or Dakota , It will he the same Christmas stamp a tiny battle-flag In the war against the white plague , a llttlo message of good-will , bearing Its holiday greeting on letter and package , and linking sender and receiver in a chain of brotherhood with those who need help and healing. "Inasmuch as ye have done It unto one of the least of these , My brothorn , yo have done it unto Mo. " Each Christmas stamp , with Its rod cross and Its * holly wreath , entries , with Its "Morry Christmas , " that deeper message , too. AROUND TOWN. The your Is growing old. Christmas won't bo hero for a year. Did you overload your stomach ? That was some dance Unit the rail road boys had. Might as well got n now chock book and start In. Could you find any fault with tlmt ChrlHtmau weather ? Be sure you label 'em so that you won't give 'om hack to the original givers next j > ear. Hero's betting Washington , D. C. , will know the Rosebud Is on earth during the no.xt few days. Many a man will bo convinced , when the bills come In , that his wife heeded the advice to shop early and lato. The new heavyweight championship looks like n cnso of black male. John son , the winner , Is also said to belong to the Black Hand society. The Chicago Tribune says Mr. Bryan's Now Year's present to the Republican party comes In the form of a piomlso that ho will continue actively In the Democratic part/ for twenty years moro. A Chicago man who once permitted Mmse-lf to bo persuaded to back a theatrical company was se'atod In his olllce one day when ho received a tele gram from the tnanagor of the show , says the Chicago Rocord-Hearlil. The troupe was somewhere in .Missouri and the telegram read thus : "Train wrecked this morning and all scenery and baggage destroyed. No mombei of company injured. What shall I do ? " The answer sent back by the Chicago man was as follows : "Try another wreck and have the company ride In the baggage car. " "The use of gold filling for teeth Is doomed , " according to a salesman for a largo dental supply house , quoted by the Philadelphia Record. "Most of us can remember when nearly every one carried about in his mouth more or less precious metal , " says this au thority. "No one was ashamed of displaying gleaming yellow when ho smiled. Wo formerly sold thousands of dollars' worth of specially prepared gold to dentists. But that Is all changed. The new porcelain fillings have boon so far perfected that nearly all dentists use them , to the almost total exclusion of gold. " ATCHISON GLOBE SIGHTS. A woman would rather see a bride's outfit than attend the wedding. About the only heirloom most people ple know anything about Is the mort gage. Women who want to marry should keep the fact quiet ; men hate a hus band hunter. The newspaper a man takes is very much like the town in which ho lives ; never satisfactory. An Atchison woman , who was bap tized recently , did not get her nose wet and made the preacher do it again. There should be fewer warships built In time of peace , 'and ' moro homes for old people negloctoby > tholr kin. Some men's system of reform close ly resemble boy's method of driv ing cattle : to "holler" as loudly as possible. When a wlfo hands her husband an ash holder Christmas morning , she expects him to accept with it her In tentions of buying him a Morris chair if her money had held out. We should think a preacher would enjoy his glad holiday season : The sisters he meets on the street have their hands so full of bundles that he is relieved from shaking hands with them. An Atchison man was in Coolldge recently to help got up an amateur show , and met a number of women who were Interested. "Let's ask Bonny Lee to tune part , " suggcsto : ! one. "No don't , " said another. "If you do I won't. " "But sjio Is so pret ty. " "She Isn't pretty at all , " broke In ten other womon. And for two hours this Is the way the conversation ran. The Atchison man was in Coolidge two weeks , and , when he loft this was all that had boon agreed on : They would give a show. The time , the cast , etc. , wore still unset tled as coffee without an egg. It Is well and good to make fun of the love story , love of late being so underdone In reality , and so overdone In fiction as to bo nauseating , but what would a married woman do If there wore no love stories ? Her hair can't ho so skimp , her hands so hardened by toll and her figure so bent with work and woo that she doesn't hecomo In her Imagination the heroine of every love story she reads. The love made to her in the books is all she gets , so don t Interrupt her if she stops cleaning the pantry shelves to read every love story she finds In the paper. She will wake up to tin pans and reality when she reaches the end , and that is soon enough. < c Of All Sad Stabs of Tun or Pin ; " g 5 Johnny Dumper Talks of Married Life Omaha , Neb , Doe. ! ! < > . - To the Editor of The News : Do > ou remember Sadlo from Newport ? Sho.H Pap's girl that was going to help mo thru IIUHIH-HH | college ami then I was going to turn round and help her. Well I dldont noon onny of her help 'cause Uncle Oscar's bin paying my hord. So the uthor day I sent Sadlo a pear of mittens for Chrlsmus and ast her when she was coming down to unroll at the business colle'go , 1 got the longest letter I over rod and she sent one of the mittens back and told me to keep It to remember her by and sho'd keep the uthor ono to remember me by. She sod It was all over and that of all sad stabs of lung or pin the snddlat are these , It mlto have boon ! She sos she's ingagod to ho married In the spring to a nice feller named Frank that wont to work for Pap after I loft , and that 1 mustont fool reckless and throw myself Into the Mlssoury Rlvor ( You just bet I wont , till the water gets warmer , onnyway. ) Frank Is a graduate of sum agricult ural colle-go and he > 's got a lot of new Ideas about farming and bo's bin a tolling Pap how to make too blades of grass grow where one grow before , and how to make too bogs put on as much fat as one did before , and how ho can got more milk from too cows than he lister get fiom one- , and Pap thinks Frank's all rite and he's going to deed one.of . his quarter sovshnns of land to Sadie and four cows to start on when sbo marries Frank. I don't cure , Frank can have Sadlo and welcome to her If she don't know onny more than to swallor all the stuff bo's bin a tolling her. I'll bet he's the hlgglsit bluffer In Rock Co. Sadie and mewasent Ingagod eiiny- way , wo just kind o' thought we'd like to lie. She's a good deal oldor'n me- , must bo seventeen at loest , and It's time she was getting married. Lots of girls waits till thoys too old. I'm going te ) lorn to smokeanil bo a Imtchellcr. Sadie don't like fellers that smoke's. So whenever I was tempted to try it I always thot of Sadie and sod , "No , I inherrlted a to bacco hart from my Pa and I don't dnst to. " But now there don't ne > - body care so I "m going to lorn to smoke and have a ge > od time like the rest of the men. I've scon lots of mar ried men that will leovo their wives fo r a good cigar einiy day. Some of the famouspst men in the world have bin batchollers , haven't they , Christo pher Columbus , and Groonllef Whittler , and Grover Cleavoland got to be President before he got married and after ho got married ho got defected. And I saw in the paper that John L. Snllyvan Is trying to get unmarried. And Whltcomo Riley isent married and I got a coppy of his "Old Sweet heart of Mine" for a Chrismiis pres ent and I've bin reading about him sitting smoking and letting his care "cast her hanker in the arbor of a THE ENGINEER. I'm a veteran passenger engineer , My name is John McNabb : I've ridden an engine for thirty year , And my home it is In a cab. I love the rush and roar and grime , And my speed is never slow ; I'm happiest when I am gaining time. As over the rails I go. I once resigned my company place And opened a general store ; Succeeded well in financial race , Could have asked for nothing moro ; But 1 longed for the whirring clickoty- click Of the wheels of the rushing train , And my longing actually made mesick sick- To bo back on the road again. So hero I am after thirty years , As blithe as that famous day I joined the order of engineers And started upon my way. There's a fascination I can't explain , A feeling you'll surely note If You ever ride at the head of a train On a monster locomotive. The natural true-born engineer Has a sense much keener than sight That gives him warning If danger's near The darkest stormiest night. I well remember that awful rain Of a night that was pitchy black ; The wind was blowing a hurricane Fit to hurl the train from the track. Wo were forging along an hour be hind In the tooth of the roaring rout , When a sudden picture before my mind Informed mo a bridge was out : It was not my eyes that saw the trap In time to save the train , For the head-light made hut a llttlo gap In the shoots of the driving rain. Like a flash I applied emergency air And stepped the supply of steam ; It was none too soon , for wo halted there With the pilot over the stream. I backed away , while the Bloopers snored , And few of thorn over guessed How near they came to going aboard Their train for eternal rest. Oh give me an engine , give mo a train. And give me two bands of steel That stretch away In an endless lane Till they make the senses reel ! dronm" and that's Just what I'm going to do about this Sadlo business. I'm just going to let tlmt dude farmer Frank , whatever his nanio Is , have her. Why what could I do with her If I did go up to Newport and cut him out. It must cost just a nawful lot 'o keep a woman In clothes when the stiles changoH'Ho. Why 1 can see the dlfToronco In the wtllos even sins 1'vo cum to Omaha , and I se-o sum wlm- men's fir coles In tho'windows markt as high as $100.00 , and then when 1 think of the dlmund rings and ostrlcU tall hats and silk dresses and house tent , bt'sldi's all the things she's going to eat I should think moro follors wild resolve \\IIIMI I hey Is jomiK not to over marry llko mo. That Frank's bin a mulling Sadlo I about all what he's going to do for her. She rites that he's going to blld a nuptodato house In every respockt with a bath-room and hot and cold water and hay-burning furnace ( You know hay up there don't cost Imf as much as coal ) and bo's going to rig a self-food magazooii for feeding baled hay to ( ho furnace as It nooda It. And he-'s going to have a wind mill and gassaloan e'ligun at the- barn that pumps water all over the homi and runs the dish-washer bo's a going to buy and runs the clothe's washer and rlngor and it fan to keep the kitchen cool in summer. They're ageing going to keep' lot e > f cows and milkIng - Ing cows Is Hit- ono thing Sadlo bates wus'n eiinythlng else and I no she wild novnr 'vo e'oimconlod to marry him but he > 's made- her b'lle-vo that IIO'H going to get a milking mashoon that's run by that windmill or ongiin and II will he awtoiuallck , so that when a cow walk's Into the barn and Into a stuul , that Marts the milking ina- sheen to going and the milk will run from the macheon into a separator and the skim-milk will run out Into t'other the pig or oaf troff and the cream will run Into a can that will sot In tin- water tank to keep It cool and Sadlo wont Imf to do nothing except hitch up the automobile bo's going to buy and take the can of cream to town. Oh , bo's smooth , that Frank Is , In thoe-ory , but I'll Just bet In prack- tlco , after Sadlo has slued the constl- tushun and buy-laws so there's no backing out , the old cow will got a lly on her tale and kick his milking ma- sheen all to splinters and the wind mill will blow down the thing urn- ' bob on the gassolean ongiin will stick 'I' and the eiigiin will blow up and set the barn afire and after Sadie's bin married a few miinths she'll haf to go te > milking cows agon just like slip's always dun and her urn's dun tern , while Frank's down town In the pool- Dumper.'I' haul smoking his pipe and sipittlug on the stove and tolling the uthor men what a fine- woman he's got. That's just what lots of fellers do and I'm reely sorry for Sadlo , norrlpcr'n I am for myself. But then wliat can a feller like me do ? Ye urs , John.iy Dumper. Then away wo'Il go with a rush and roar And the cllckoty-cllck of the rails ! No wonder I love It moro anil moro , For the novelty never falls ! Richard F. Marwood. INCREDULOUS JIMMY. They nstn tell us kids That Santa Claws Lived "way up north Among the Esqulnuiws , And druv a lot of reindeers To his sled , And when us kids Was all of us In bed Ho'd come down thru the stovoplpe With his toys , That Is , If we'd been goody Girls and boys. Last year a Toddy-horse Stood by my stockln' , That walks or trots or cantors When I'm rockln' . I don't sco how a horse The size of that Wont thru a hole so little That our cat Would haf to sflioop and crawl If she got thru , I don't b'lleve he ever did ! Do you ? This year I just portended I's asleep Till after Mama took Her good-night peep , And then I sat right up And chewed some gum To keep awake and see Old Santa come. Well blmoby Just after ton o'clock I hoard my Papa Coming up the walk. I watched him From the window by my lCd ) ( A carrying something Looked just llko a sled , He wont around as Quiet as n mouse And sllpt In by the hack-door Of the house. Then all was still again , I chewed my guni And watchedfor Santa But he never come. That kidding 'bout old Santa Bringing toys Will do to toll to girls And llttlo hoys That never has peeked up Into a chimney , It wont go down with Jimmy , Now by Jlminy ! R. P. M.
