The Norfolk weekly news-journal. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1900-19??, September 18, 1908, Page 4, Image 4

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The Norfolk Weekly News-Journal
The Newii. lSntatillshei ! . .
_ The Journiil , Kiiliililliiheil. 1S71
I'rmlili'tit HiK'K-lnrjr
KvBry Friday. Hy nmll yrr year Jl 60.
Knturcri at the pontoftlco at Norfolk.
Neb , , ii H nrcond Pln fl tnattBf _ _ _ _
TolnphnriPft' Kdltorlnl Depnrlincni.
No , 22. IliiHliion Oilier and J' tj Itooinn
No. 11 22.
The next time the Saturday Evening
1'oHt takes a ( lip In Alaska wheat , It
Mr. Ilrynn apparently thinks that
lilfl ability us a dolmtor ought to qualIfy -
Ify him for the presidency.
In one thing Mr. Bryan has been
oonHlstcnt. Ho has nlways been a free
trader and and still remains true to
this principle.
Charles Schwab Is cnld to bo tired
of bis five million dollar palace In
Now York and Is trying to sell It and
go back to Bethlehem , Pa.
The society girl and the second
baseman who exchanged suit cases on
the train were not so badly off for she
got a ball suit and he a ball gown.
A boat arrived at Portland , Maine ,
the other day with 13,900 lobsters
aboard. This surpasses the number
listed by any of the great ocean liners
this season.
Chemist Wiley says nlnoy-elght per
cent of the liquid sold as whiskey Is
not whiskey at all. The deceptions
practised on an unsuspecting public
are Innumerable.
Atlantic doctors have decided not
to attend those who are unable to pay
for their services. Wonder If the
mortality will bo greatly Increased In
that city ?
Nebraska has been surely well
served during the past two years by
Governor Sheldon. And Nebraska
will give Governor Sheldon a second
term with a mighty majority.
It's quite n come down from his high
aspirations , but Agulnaldo's present
ambition Is to become alderman of
Manila. Ho has sufficiently American
ized to recognize the relative value of
official position , anyway.
Campaign songs so far received do
not reach a high standard. The authors
will not gain appointments carrying
a largo salary on the strength of them
about thirty cents would seem a
proper reward.
' Los Angeles county In California ,
which has voted three and one-half
millions of dollars for good roads ,
seems to have stumbled upon the pro
found truth that the way to get good
roads Is to pay for them Instead of
passing resolutions for thorn.
Mr. Hearst has secured affidavits to
prove that Mr. Bryan , when a con
gressman , called the working men "a
lot of public beggars. " Several men
heard the statement , but that was be
fore Mr. Bryan was depending on the
labor vote. He feels very differently
towards the common people now.
France Is at the top of the column
of nations for a high average of In
dustry and thrift. Whatever the In
come of the French peasant from farmer
or labor , he saves a portion of It every
year. This Is so largely Invested In
banks having public confidence that
France has the largest loanable fund
of any nation.
> _ _ _ _
A former member of the Indian
cabinet lately estimated the present
hoards of coined money In India at a
billion and a half and thought the
yearly Increase would reach $50,000 , '
000. If this Is true much of the vast
gold and silver production of the last
few years will bo absorbed without
any great disturbance of prices.
Norfolk people expecting to go tc
the Stanton fair tomorrow have beer
requested to wear Norfolk badges. II
every crowd of Norfolk people visit
Ing other towns would remember tc
wear the Norfolk badge , this city wouh
derive material benefit without mucl
effort. When you go away with r
bunch of Norfolk boosters , wear r
The watchword of the progressive
American today Is speed and ac
curacy. Great minds are forever bat
tllng with the problem of improvinf
conditions and making one pair o
hands do the work of many. This li
not done to throw any man out o
work for It Is the work of the masses
that makes the world go on. Tin
prime object for such Industrious am
studious Improvement of conditions li
that more can bo accomplished.
It Is useless for citizens to com
plain about the way the public attain
are conducted and let them go by do
fault. If men have positive views 01
the question of who should and wh <
should not represent the people li
city or county office , why not carr :
out the spirit of those convictions b ;
voting and getting others to exercis *
the privilege , for it should bo held by
every citizen of the United States the
highest privilege an well as duty to
have n voice In the conduct of public
The traffic moved by railroads In
the United Stales exceeds four and
one-half million tons every twenty-
four hours. The rnllrcnd traffic has
doubled In the last seven years , while
the facilities for transporting It have
Increased less than twenty-five per
cunt. Should It Increase as fast In
the next seven years the only hope of
taking care of It proper lies In devel
oping our waterways.
The fact that twenty-three horses
have been stolen within a radius of
100 miles of Norfolk during the past
month , should put farmers and live
stock owners on their guard. The
further fact that but one of these
thefts was from n member of the
North Nebraska Live Stock Protec
tive association , and that that thief
was caught and sent to the peniten
tiary within eight days , should In
duce every horse-owner to get Into
.hat association with all haste.
For many years the gcnslng Indus
try was a flourishing one and any
one could successfully culttyate a
small patch of It and was sure of a
large return , while those who went
Into the Industry on a large scale
made fortunes. But the advance of
civilization in China marks the doom
of the gensing traffic. As the Chi
nese become more enlightened they
are finding out that the wonderful
medical properties which they sup
posed were contained In gensing do
not exist that they have been fooled
for thousands of years.
A laboring man asfcs : "Has Bryan
over told us anything that was true ?
In ' 9C It was 'free silver' at sixteen to
one , without the aid or consent of any
other nation. " In 1900 It was "Imper
ialism , " If any one knows what that
means. In 1904 ho was a "gold bug"
and supported Parker with all his
might. In 1908 It Is anything to get
votes. He wants the labor vote. What
tias the Democratic party ever done
for the laboring man except furnish
ing free soup tickets ? What will he
bob up with In 1912 ?
The making of films for picture dra
mas has become a business of great
volume but authorities on such mat
ters tell us that there must be an Im
provement In the grade of moving pic
tures exhibited If the business is to
prove a lasting one. It can be made an
agency of much good by Introducing
educational features and special pro
ductions appropriate to special oc
casions and seasons. It should be the
effort of the forces for good to en
courage and urge on a upward ten
dency in such entertainments , for In
the past their Influence has been de
finitely degrading.
Judging from much of the talk
about tariff revision one would gain
the idea that it was a small matter to
accomplish. That the tariff sched
ules affecting nearly every article
made or produced In the country and
affecting all classes of people , could
be changed as easily as taking off
one's suit of clothes and putting on
another. It is a big Job to readjust
the tariff on a multitude of articles
so that the Interests of all will be Just
ly conserved. That is why all polit
icals have approached It with hesita
tion. Now all are agreed that It must
be done and the Republican party Is
pledged to go about It In a business
like manner as soon as possible after
The Norfolk high school Is attract
ing students from a largo territory.
This departure of the board of educa
tion , In installing a normal course , is
highly commendable and will afford
opportunity to many northern Nebras
ka young men and women to acquire
a practical education that they might
not otherwise have.
The Norfolk schools rank among
the very vest In the state. And It Is
to be noted that they are progressing
rapidly , being made constantly better
The Iowa senatorial fight Is to be
settled where It ought to be by the
Republicans of the state at large. Gov
ernor Cummins will be given a chance
for his toga , but he will not bo able
through his governorship , to force his
own election.
The trouble with Cummins Is his in
sincerity. He has been both a Demo
crat and a Republican. Ho used to be
a railroad attorney. He Is found In
uny band wagon that happens to be
leading popular passion for the mo
ment It Is anything to get an office
with Cummins.
The story told about the actions ol
certain people In Augusta , Ga. , during
the recent flood Is a most shocking
one. A number of people got out In
boats among those who were maroon
ed In the upper story of their houses
or were clinging to the tops of trees
or telephone posts. These boat owners
were willing to rescue these unfor
tunates but they charged for the ser
Ice all they could got. One man who
could offer only $50 for the assistance
vns obliged to remain In his perilous
losltlon a long time while better pay-
ni ? patrons were cared for. Is thin
he southern generosity nud hospital
ty which poets have sung In the past
> r were the boats all owned by the
lethor strata In Augusta society ?
When It was announced that Brazil
mil ordered three battleships of the
argcst and most modern typo It was
conjectured that It must bo a Japanese
-tchemo to have them built ostensibly
for Brazil and later Japan would pur
chase them. But Brazil Insists that
the battleships arc for her own pro
tection from outside Incroachmont.
As Argentine Is the only power at all
likely to meet her In war , It is taken
is a threat by the Argentine govern
ment , who have retaliated by voting to
> ulld two largo battleships and four
armored cruisers. Thus do the smaller
nations follow In the fool steps of
their more powerful predecessors.
The possibilities of reclamation of
the arid and semi-arid west , seem , In
the enthusiastic western mind , to bo
almost Illimitable and no man can
place a limit on the possibilities which
will result from the Irrigating of all
the desert land of the west. But the
time will undoubtedly come when Irri
gation will have accomplished all that
Is practicable In the far west. Then
the government will turn Its attention
to draining the swamp lands of the
south and cast. If the United States
Is destined to have ultimately a popu
lation exceeding half a billion , there
will bo urgent need of utilizing every
available acre of land to support such
an aggregation. The west Is having
Is day now but the east and south
may have their turn before the nation
Is many years older.
Republicans throughout the country
will be glad over the victory of Gover
nor Hughes in New York. The gover
nor has given New York an efficient
administration. He has stood for good
government as ho saw it , and yet he
ias not been among that class of
oatliesome politicians who shouted
for every radical reform , however un
reasonable , Just for the sake of stylng
In the band wagon.
Governor Hughes Is an able and a
conscientious statesman. He might
liave become a potent factor in the
Republican convention if he had
spoken sooner. He has not sought the
nomination and he ran his own af
fairs in the state of New York without
inviting or accepting outside Inter
There Is no questioning the fact
that the study and use of the univer
sal language Esperanto Is increas
ing the world over. At the recent Es
peranto congress at Dresden atten
tion was called to the magnitude of the
calamity which befell mankind when
at the building of the historic tour of
Babel , languages were multiplied and
Intercommunication was Interrupted.
The Incidents and circumstances leadIng -
Ing Zamenhof , the Polish Jew , when he
boy , to set himself the task of devis
ing a new language which should
be a practical International verbal
code by the use of which all the people
ple In the world mlgh be able to un
derstand each other , were entertain
ingly related , and the progress of the
language In the different countries re
ported. A large amount of
Esperanto literature has come into
existence and over sixty Jour
nals are devoted to Its advance
ment. In spite of all this most of us
believe that English Is more rapidly
becoming the universal tongue than
There Is little question but what the
consolidated school will be the rural
school of the future , which means
that two or three districts will com
bine their resources and build up by
a concerted movement a single school
that is far better than the old in
dividual schools could possibly be
made. One township In Illinois has
made a marked success of such a
school , which is graded and employs
four teachers , two in the grades and
two in the high school branches which
Include as all rural schools should
domestic science and agriculture ,
Two wagons bring the more distant
scholars to school at a cost of nine
cents per pupil per day. One of the
unused school houses Is turned Intc
a homo for the teachers , which solves
one of the most serious problems ol
the country schools. No teacher is
paid less than sixty dollars , yet there
Is a marked saving over running several -
oral old-fashioned schools and the
children are given nvery advantage
that town children have.
Norfolk has been talking of an ex
curslon into the Rosebud country
which would allow Norfolk business
men to shake hands with their neigh' '
bars. There seems every reason why
such a social call should be made by
Norfolk people , and The News hopes
that Mayor Sturgeon's plan will yel
succeed. Norfolk Is the center of n
big , growjng territory. From a sel
fish standpoint , alone , , , Norfolk bus !
ness men could well afford to take a
couple of days off to get acquainted
with their neighbors. Many people
who have not made a trip Ijito the
Rosebud country , fall to appreciate
the extent of rich country to which
Norfolk is the open door and only
Shire Norfolk began discussing thin
OXCUIH'OII ' , Fremont business men lutvo
tnltcn up and carried through a sim
ilar Journey up the Burlington line
between Fremont and Sioux City.
Norfolk Is superior to Fremont In
point of geographical locution , and In
point of tributary territory. If Fre
mont business men can make one trip ,
Norfolk ought to be able to make n
pair of them
Among other changes which should
bo made In the primary law , Is one
regarding the time for holding the
state conventions. The fourth Tuesday
In September Is too long after the
nominations. The filing time In the
summer and the primary date should
be brought closer together , and the
platform conventions should be
brought nearer the primary.
In order to make the direct primary
a consistent proposition , It would also
seem that the county central commit
tees and the state convention dele
gates should be elected at the pri
And each county should have repre
sentation in the state conventions In
proportion to Its party vote. At
present every county , big and little ,
has the same voice.
All delegates to conventions , In
cluding national delegates , ought to
be chosen at the primaries , to make
the primary consistent. The state
and congressional committees should
also be chosen at the primary , to
carry things out logically.
The South Dakota primary elections
are held In the spring and In some
counties the party leaders hold a "con
ference , " very similar to the oldtyle
conventions , to determine who shall
go on the primary ballots. In Ne
braska , In some Instances , similar
"conferences" were held , as a result
of which only one name appeared on
the party ballot at the primary elec
tion. It might be argued that such a
conference is valuable because It pre
vents bitter factional war within a
party. All that can be said for or
against this conference plan can be
said for or against the old convention
system no more and no less. If a "con
ference" before the primary to select
one candidate to go on the primary
ballot , Is a good thing , then the con
vention system is a good thing and
the primary a bad one. The "confer
ence" and the primary have no part In
the same nest. If the conference is
desirable , then the expense and sham
of the primary might as well be abel
ished. If the primary Is wholly de
sirable , then "conferences" or "cau
cuses" held ahead of the primary to
determine who shall go on the primary
ballot , are altogether defeating the
purpose of the primary.
Mr. Taft forcibly replied to Bryan's
insinuation that'Tnft had not voiced
his own political views. Before Roosevelt
velt ever mentioned tariff reform ,
Judge Taft , In a speech at Bath , Me. ,
spoke for revision. He has never
failed to give his views on llvo topics
In clear , forcible language. Nobody
who reads the papers has cause for
any misunderstanding as to Taft's
One paragraph from Judge Taft's
reply serves to bring out the point
admirably :
In my notification speech , and In
other speeches made since , I at
tempted to make clear my position on
all the Issues of the campaign. If Mr.
Bryan has been unable to understand
them I cannot make them clearer. I
stand on my record In office and what
I have said. Mr. Bryan should devote
a little time to his own record , from
which he seems to be struggling to
separate himself , with all the adroit
ness acquired In a twelve years' hunt
for an issue on which he can be
elected president.
The readiness with which Mr. Bryan
In successive presidential campaigns ,
passes from one paramount issue to
another shows that the chief consider
ation which affected his selection of
an Issue has been Its plausibility In
attracting votes. He presents the
remarkable spectacle of one who has
been seeking the presidency for
twelve years without success and with
out official responsibility , and without
the opportunity to test the various
propositions which he has advocated
for reforms , and yet of having events
demonstrate what a colossal failure
h'o would have made In each Instance
had he been permitted to carry his
proposals forward as the policies of
the country.
It Is characteristic of Mr. Bryan that
ho has chosen to make this campaign
mostly on the strength of a phrase that
sounds happily to his ear. Ho Is , above
all other things , a phrase maker. When
ho can string a few words together
that sound smoothly to the ear , ho Is
happier than at any other time. And he
believes that he has found a great slo
gan In this motto which ho Is said to
have selected to carry the burden of
the coming fight ; "Shall the people
rule ? "
If the people do no.t already r ile ,
the n It will have to bo explained
llrat wherein they do not and why. Mr.
tlrynn will say that It Is the corpora
tions that rule. But do they ? Where
Is there vaunted power ? Huvo they not
been chased for four years past
from ono retreat to another until they
have cried for mercy like whipped
children ? N not the practical ques
tion at this moment whether or not
we shall go on at once with further
punishment , or wait to see If abundant
promises to bo good will bo fulfilled ?
Does n corporation even dnro at this In
stant to contribute a dollar to the cam
paign fund ? Has not Mr. Uryan him
self commended Mr. Roosevelt repeat
edly for this ousting of the corpora
tions from power ? And is not Mr.
Toft pledged by his own character ns
well as by definite promises to keep up
the good work ? Is there the remot
est suspicion anywhere that anybody
except the people Is going to rule In
this country no matter what happens
or who Is elected ?
What opportunity la to be given to
the people In the event of Mr. Bryan's
election that they would not have
otherwise ? They arc In full command
now. They arc going to have their
way after Mr. Taft goes into the white
house and everybody knows It. Indeed ,
there is not the slightest disposition
anywhere to Interfere with the rule
of the people , except in the councils
of corporate power ; and these have
given up for the present the thought
or hope of Influencing in the slightest
either of the two great parties In the
national campaign. Mr. Bryan's cam
paign cry will provoke no enthusiasm.
It Is profoundly meaningless.
Among other things apparent from
Nebraska's second test of the new
primary law Is the fact that If your
name begins with A.f you are pretty
well qualified to hold public office.
The blind voting that Is done for the
first name on the list , where the can
didates are unknown , Is hardly to the
credit of the state of Nebraska. The
unfair advantage given to the man at
the top of the ticket should be equal
ized by some not too complicated plan
of rotation. Perhaps some plan put
ting one man's name at the top of the
ticket in one county , the next man's
name at the top In another county , and
so on , might solve the problem. A plan
to rotate the names In any given
county would so complicate the bal
lot printing as to run the risk of seri
ous errors , to say nothing of the fact
that It would add considerably to the
expense , where a plan to put one name
at the top In one county , another in
the next county , and so on , would
probably accomplish the some desired
end , without costing the taxpayers any
more money for printing.
Where a vigorous contest is raged
at the primary the voters select their
candidates with full knowledge and
deliberation , but where there has been
but slight contest , the man whoso
name begins with the letter A has a
decided unfair advantage , and upon
this sole alphabetical discrimination
many candidates based their only hope
of ever getting Into the political lime
One of the results of the primary
which many people consider a serlouc
defect is the fact tfiat party lines are
t'jndly" shattered. With those who
deem party organizations of little val
ue to the body politic , this perhaps ,
will not appeal as a serious fault , but
The News firmly believes the wel
fare of this republic depends upon the
existence of two opposing political
parties , each anxious to point out
wrong doings of the other , and for
this reason this newspaper regrets
that any condition should be able to
make men forget their party affilia
tions. Perhaps the legislature may
be able to devise a more rigid primary
qualification , holding voters more
strictly to the act of making a choice
of candidates within their own parties ,
and preventing them from overstep
ping Into the opposing party for the
moment to assist a favorite or to vote
against a man whoso nomination
might be for the best Interests of his
own party.
It Is rather to be regretted that a
Democratic newspaper should attempt
to Influence the nominations In the
Republican party , or a Republican pa
per attempt to Influence the Demo
cratic party's nominations , and with
some effect. Perhaps a few years of
practice , however , will discredit a pa
per in its attempt to mix with the af
fairs of the opposing party , and thus
discount this sort of work.
The date of the primary should bo
so changed that it will not overtake
the farmer Just when ho Is busy In the
field. The date under the present law
pla-ys Into the hands of the population
center , to the disadvantage of the ru
ral comunity.
There Is no question but that more
Interest is taken in the nomination of
candidates under the primary than
under the old caucus system , notwith
standing the fact that the caucus sys
tem gave equal opportunity to all to
voice their pro-nomination sentiments
and to Influence the nominations by
their votes. From this fact alone it la
safe to assume that the primary will
bo thoroughly tried out , amputated
here and patched up there , before It Is
our discarded , If Indeed It has not
"in to May.
Some attention bus been paid to the
i'NpiiiM > of the primary system upon
the taxpayers IIH well UN upon tin can-
dldutCH , but If the taxpayers uro bet
tor alilo to express their choice In
selecting candidates , the public rout
ought not to bo seriously looked at ,
and UH long MH candidates nro nlontl-
fill , perhaps the cost to the Individual
candidate ought not to Do considered ,
Hlneo politics In , unfortunately , an ex
pensive gumo at best , In the United
Perhaps If the dates of filling
out candidacies and holding the pri
mary , wore brought closer together ,
the bitterness of the primary cam
paigns might bo considerably Hoft-
oned nud the drain upon the candi
date's pocketn and nerve-energy ma
terially lessened.
The people of Nbraska have expressed -
pressed their desire to try out the pri
mary plan to Its limit and the people
ple of Nebraska generally get what
they want. In Justice to themselves
and to the primary , therefore , such
remedies us appear essential to Its
best success should bo made , always
with the Intention of giving the pri
mary system the fairest kind of a
chance to make good.
The horschldo sphere must now
make way for the oval pigskin.
Every Rosebud opening closes In a
little further on the diminishing tribe
of the Sioux.
The last batter on the diamond
has been put out , and the season Is
almost ripe for a stack o * buckwheats.
There's a young man In Norfolk who
has spent seven Christmas days sick
In bed. And It's our opinion that Mr.
Carnegie should bo informed. .
News want nds will do almost any
thing but there's a limit. Ono wo
man put a want ad In The News Sat
urday asking the person who picked
up her umbrella In the postofflce , to
kindly return It. There Is a limit.
No , it is not yet the coal man's put
September has been as delightful
a month on these plains as July al
ways Is.
That baseball championship still has
the better of the Bryan-Taft presiden
tial campaign.
Cannon has no fear of the Demo
crats , but he didn't ' figure on having
to fight the whole Mo'hodist church.
Twenty-three stolen horses have
skldooed from northern Nebraska
within the past month.
The Iowa standpatters stood pat all
right , all right. And apparently
they've got Cummins gotn' .
The string of incandescents across
Norfolk avenue during the forthcom
ing Rosebud rush ought to throw con
siderable light upon the subject of
For a solid week at the Madison
county teachers' Institute next sum
mer those two young men will each
have three dozen fair maids to smile
upon him. Or do they still teach
that 72 divided by two Is three dozen ?
Right here wo want to give credit
to the two young men In Madison
county who declde'd to teach school
this year. Can you imagine any popu
larity any more Intense than that
which will be showered upon these
two young men by the seventy-two
young women who also teach country-
schools ?
Score one for the man and woman
who used to go to spelling bee. Here
In Madison county the school children
have become so punk in spelling and
geography and special pains will be
taken this winter to brace them up
If they can bo braced ( which some of
the old timers have their doubts
about. )
All 'board for Stanton.
There's plenty of dust In the hair.
The dentists nil agreed that their
banquet was filling.
Thi > people of Norfolk rather play
hosts to the dentists than to visit
No , there's not any worry over a
frost. Some alarm Is being felt over
an Ice famine , though.
There's this to bo said about den
tists , as a general rule : They make
a good share of their living by dealIng -
Ing In things that are false.
A large number of those small boys
and girls who are Just now starting to
school in the primary room , will re
main fast friends all through their
school lives and during their lives
after school days , no doubt. It's a
large Influence over American life
that school days exercise.
The Gregory military , band may ac
cept an offer to play at the Omaha
W. R. Day , a former citizen of Fair
fax , S. D. , Is Involved In bankruptcy
proceedings ns a result of flood dam
ages to his mill and store In Elkhorn ,
S. I ) , mid nil accident which coillliied
him to his homo lant winter. Llablll
tlos amount to $19,000 ami unsold lost *
than $18,000.
A atngo and dronslng room luivo
boon nrraugod In the hall over the
Hank of OulhiH In Dulhis , S. 1) ) . , In or
der to acrotumnduto amateur theat
ricals or traveling companion.
Bloomllold Journal : Alex itoos nud
Paul Chapman , both Sunloo ludhimi ,
wore nrroHtod by CoiiHtahlo lllaekHinllli
and brought to the county Jail at Center -
tor on tlio charge of herm > stealing.
Two teams of horses were stolen by
thoin , both of them at the big Indian
pow pow near Nlohrara August 1 , ono
team being sold at Nlobrnnt and the
oilier ono at Ynnkton. The proofs
against thorn BCOIII Iconcluslvo and
there Is no doubt but they will ho
BOH ! over the road for a good many
Lincoln Stat : The Grand Island In
dependent says the primary law
should be amended at the next legisla
ture. But the next legislature will
owe Its existence to the primary law
as It stands , so there Is small hope of
Its amendment.
About Norfolk.
Bassett Bulletin : The Norfolk News
scooped nil competitors In Its publica
tion of the president's proclamation
throwing open to settlement the
Trlpp county ( S. D. ) lands , beating
"em to it by twenty-four hours. The
News Is a rattling good news pur
veyor , but Its politics Is oh ! so bad.
When a woman sets a clock she al
ways sets It by guess.
No Discrimination.
"It is very peed of you , sir , to
me your Beat. "
"Npt at all , mum , " said Pat. "li'a a.
dooty we owe to the scr. Some folks
only do so when a woman Is young and
pretty , but I says the scr , and not the
Individual. "
Hit Diteai.e.
CongrcHHinaii Hamilton of Michigan
went out for u walk In the country.
The day was hot. and when he had
gone n few miles ho Bat on a fence to
"Want n ride ? " asked a teamster
who came by.
"Yes. thank you , " Hamilton replied.
Hamilton was thinking of u plan to
get a bridge for the Paw Puw river
mil Bald nothing. Finally the teamster
asked , "Professional man ? "
"Yes. "
The teamster wnuted further infer
mation. A few minutes later he said :
"You ain't a lawyer or you'd be talk-
Ing. You ain't n doctor or you'd have
n satchel. You ain't a preacher be
cause you cursed when" you barked
your shin getting Into the wagou. Say ,
mister , what Is your profession any
how ? "
"I am a politician. "
"Huh. " snorted the teamster , "pol >
ties Mlift no profession. Politics Is a.
disease ! "
Not Quito the Same.
Having arrived at that point In the
baptismal service where the Infant's
name Is conferred , the clergyman said ,
"Name this child. "
"Original Story , " Bald the sponsor
"What do you say ? " he asked In sur
"Original Story , " she repeated.
"It's n very odd name. Are you
sure you want him called by the name
of Original Story ? "
"Original Story that's right. "
"Is It a family mime ? "
"Named after his uncle , sir , " explain
ed the nurse.
Original Story the little fellow was
christened. Some weeks after thin
event the minister made the acquaint
ance of the wild uncle , a farm laborer
In another village , whose name war
Reginald Story.
The Painter's Way.
When a painter has taken up the par
lor carpet , removed the furniture from
the dining room , leaned two ladders
against the hall mantel and stacked a
half dozen variegated cans of paint on
the sideboard , it means he is now ready
to paint the outside Bhuttera and the
back fence. Mark Twain.
Crockett and the Mules.
It Is told of the famous Davy Crock
ett that one day while standing on
Pennsylvania avenue , Washington , a
Kwann of mules trotted by under the
custody of an overseer from one of the
stock farms In Virginia. A congress
man from Boston attracted Crockett's
attention to the unusual Hli < lit. saying :
"Hello , there. Crockett ! Here's a lot of
your roimtltiiontH ou parade. Whern
are they going ? "
Crofett ! ; looked at the animals with
a quizzical glance and answered quiet
ly. "They nr glng to MasHachusetts
to teach elinol. "
In Speech From Throne This IB Indl
cated Relative to Venezuela Case.
The Hague , Sept. 1C. The speed
from the tin ono at the opening of tin
states guneial was read by Premlei
, ? ' " tl ! ° alj < - ' of Qut-ur
VUlhulmma. who is convalescing frou
her recent Illness. The speech makei
but a bi ier reference to the different
between the Netherlands
unit the republic
public of Venezuela which
, resulted U
the Dutch minister at Caracas bulni
axpclled from Venezuela by CaBtro.
"In our friendly relations
with Veno
luela. ' the
government aaya in tin
speech , "an Interruption occurni
which our government Is ondoavortni
10 overcome "