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About The Norfolk weekly news-journal. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1900-19?? | View Entire Issue (Jan. 16, 1903)
TIIK NORFOLK NEWS : F1UDAY , JANUARY 16 , 1903 I O \KOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ 1 THE RETURN OF o O O o 1 BILL CARVER I o o O o . . . . [ ! y DmIJ II. [ nlm.iJjo go o o O , ; wi | / / ) . / / . ' iliniuli ; . ! O o OoOoOoOOOoOOOOoOOOOOOOoOoO Conductor Wilson of the "Klectrlc ( Flush , " a term applied In kindly do- rlolou to the passenger train on thu .Gooso river branch of a cortnlu grout ( western railway , WUH culled upon ono morning to apologize In behalf of bin engineer , and IIH ! apology , from end to end , Including stops and slowdown iin the Hnylng In , wan. not entirely do- .void of entertaining featured. "Tho truth of the mutter IH , " mild he , addressing the principal kicker , a trav eling salesman from Milwaukee , "that there's only one man on earth who un derstands the teakettle that wo um > In place of a real locomotive on thin line , and bin name's Hill Carver. Mill knows her from the track up. He given her a put here and a Jab there , and HIO ! net tles down to her puces like un old fam ily horse. Hut let a new man luke lier , and she either gets on to her hind logs and goes crazy or else Hhe sulks mid won't go at all worth mentioning. She's sulking this morning. " "I should think so ! " growled the Mil waukee man , looking at his watch. "We're forty minutes late now , and I'll mips my train on the other roud. Where Is Carver , anyway ? What do they let him go away for without tak ing his bunged old steam pot with him ? " "He's at Geneva Lake by this time , " replied the conductor. "He cumo down iwith us lust night , llo's on his wed ding trip. By George ! You wouldn't have known him , togged out as he was In the regulation black , with his hands In kid gloves and his feet In patent leathers. He could hardly drug his KU7.o away from his bride long enough to recognize the teakettle ; that's a fact. Ho was simply soaked full of love or ( whatever It Is , and he was purring like R kitten. I'd never have believed It of him , for of all the mean things 1 ever heard any one Buy about women as a BOX and about marrlagu as an Institu tion he'd oak ! the meanest , lie never hud any patience with Idiots who re pose confidence In petticoats. He said women were all false as hades und foolish as barnyard fowls. He was married to his ridiculous old engine , ho IWIIB , and ho never wanted anything better In this world , Of course wu mar ried fellows knew when ho spouted that sort of stuff that he'd been dis appointed in some love affair and that he didn't really mean all ho thought he meant , but none of us was ever able to pump him out. So we Just laughed lit him and told him that sooner or later he'd meet something In petticoats that would jerk him over the line and Into the roundhouse as a mogul jerks a sick switch engine. It made him snort to tell him that , but it's precisely .what happened. If 1 ever saw a man who'd lost the last vestige of his pow er of resistance , it was him last night. He was coal In the scoop of the tire- man , nothing else. " "IIow did it happen ? " asked the Mil waukee man , glancing uguln at Ills watch and settling resignedly into his Bent. "Well , as near as I can make out from what I was told at Whlpplevlllo yesterday by n chap who lives next door to Bill's bride's folks up at Correy' Center It was mostly Bill's fault that he didn't get spliced long ago Instead of going away in a hull' and turning himself into n make believe woman Later. The girl liked him all right , but she was like most glrla she didn't like to seem too easy. Bill might have un derstood her if he hadn't been so lack ing in ordinary what do you call It ? perspicuity , lie slzeu up a woman just as he did an engine. He expected defi nite results. When he pulled the throt tle , he expected her to go , and when ho put on the air ho expected her to stop , and when she didn't do these things he got mad. Furthermore , he gave the girl to understand plain enough that he was dead gone on her , and that ! wus another mistake. He's fair , square nnd nbovebourd , Bill is , and lie has mighty little patience with any one who tries to take advantage of him. lie's no fish to be played on a string , lie Bays. "Now , there never was a healthy girl , I suppose , who wouldn't play with a chap after she was sure she had him hooked. It's the nature of 'em. And this girl did things just to make Hill mad. She flirted with other fellows , and she had little spells of false agony , when she made him think he'd done something she didn't like and wouldn't tell him what it was , nnd she twitted him on his looks , which aren't specially handsome , und altogether she curried on In a way to drive an honest man to desperation , although most men In Bill's place would have brought her up with a round turn. And at lust , one night four years ago , Bill reached the limit , and for about an hour he read the riot act to her. He was like a life or dcatli special on u new truck simply shut his eyes and made her run. Then when he'd got through he slummed his hat over his eyes und bolted , never looking at the girl. I'll bet $0 she was holding out her hands to him and trying to get her talk pipe to work. A woman can tell usually when she's gone too far , and almost always she'll come down from her perch peaceably enough if Bhe's given the right sort of a chance. "He didn't go back to Correy Center after that until about two weeks ago. lie wouldn't have gone then only that his mother was sick and wanted to see him before she reached the end of her run. So he gut a ten days' lay off and u t bin teuth together as If he WUH go- lug lute u den of llous or a baby show ; i or something llko thai und went. The old lady was better when he got there. Within a week she was silting up , and Hill's e.wiso for staying In the house with her were pretty thin. Ho saw the girl go pust several times und he noticed that she. looked In with an ex pression on her face thut resembled anxiety , but It never occurred to him that slio was so anxious to make up with him that she couldn't eat nor sleep. And I expect he'd have gone buck to his denr old teakettle without finding It out If It hadn't been for an accident. "Ho WUR standing In front of the vil lage postolllce one morning , waiting for tlio mall to ho distributed. Ho wan keeping his eye peeled for the girl. Ho didn't want to meet her. He WUH afraid. He reasoned that It could done no good and would bo confoundedly oniburrusHlng. Ho never curries a fulfil ) face with him , Hill doesn't. And then , lee , he wasn't absolutely sure of himself. Ho knew down deep In his steam client that ho had about as much affection for the girl as he'd over hud , nnd he rather suspicions ! that If lie met her face to face ho'il miike three or four kinds of fool of himself. He could Bee her house from whore ho stood-n pretty place In a regular snarl of roses and honeysuckles and llowcr s , and I've a notion that he looked at It with something of longing and regret. It was only natural that ho should. "Well , while he was standing there an old friend of his came up on horse- buck und nsked him If ho wouldn't do i favor for him. Ho wanted Bill to : ako the horse home. Some business md unexpectedly claimed his Immedi ate attention , and he didn't like to euvo the horse standing on the street fie thought Bill might llko a ride any- way. Of course Bill said he would. Ho didn't know any moro about riding horseback than a woodchuck knows of dairying , but he never hesitated to accommodate n friend. lie got his nail und climbed Into the saddle and n less than three minutes something was doing In his vicinity. The horse was a spirited beast , with a habit of Bhylng at everything which seemed to offer an excuse for It , and every time he shied Bill stuck lu his heels , and n-cry time Bill stuck In his heels the least took It as an Invitation to make speed. Half way down the street ho was galloping right merrily. A little further and ho was giving a tolerably correct Imitation of Garry Ilerrnmn , and Bill was bouncing like a rubber ball. He said 'Whoa , ' but It didn't seem to have any effect. Ills mall , which he hud tucked under his arm , was scattered broadcast. "It dawned on Bill presently that he was being run away with , but he didn't lose his head. Bill never loses his head. Said he to himself , 'I've got to shut off steam. ' And he stretched himself on the beust's neck , reaching for the nose , and he got a grip on it , nnd the first thing that horse knew he couldn't breathe , and something was on his neck , for Bill had bounced clean over the shoulders , and ho stopped dead , stiff legged as a suwhorse. "But Bill didn't stop not at once , lie went on , and ho landed plump on a pansy bed In the yard at the end of the street , and when lie opened his eyes he was looking square Into the face of the girl , who had been sitting under a tree reading. Neither spoke for a moment. The girl's color came and went , and Bill's breath did likewise , but pretty soon the girl's wits , which were lu working order , it seems , asserted them selves. 'Oh , Will , ' she said , 'I'm so glad you've come back to me ! ' "Bill raised himself on his elbow lu a' dazed sort of way and tried to Bay something , but his breath wasn't quite equal to It. And the girl went down on her knees and wrapped her arms about him. 'So glad , dear ! ' she murmured. "They got married. That's all , there was to it And we're doing the b st wo can till they get back from their honey moon trln. " The semblance of a sinlle appeared upon the Milwaukee man's face. "I suppose that under the circumstances we'll have to forgive him , " ho said. "But , by Jingo , I'm sorry we're going to miss connections at Whlpperville. I'm to be married myself tonight if I can get to Carllnsburg. " "Pshaw ! " said the conductor. "You don't say ? " Then he chuckled. "Guess you'll have to go horseback , won't you ? " ' 'Not on your silver plated punch ! " replied the Milwaukee man decidedly. Ola Drlilal Cu-toiim. There used to be a custom of strew ing flowers before the bridal couples us they went to the church and from the church to the house. Suppose the way with fragrant herbs were strcwtnK. All things were ready , wo to the church were going. And now UUIHKISO the priest had joined our hands- Is a quaint old verso that refers to this custom. The Persians introduce n tree ot their mnrriugo feiists laden with fruit , and it is the place of the guests to try to pluck this without the bride- Broom observing. If successful , they must present the bridal couple with a gift a hundred times the value of the object removed. In Tuscany brides wear Jasmine wreaths , and there is a legend that a once reigning grand duke , who nt great expense procured this llowcr for his own particular garden , gave orders to Uls gardener not to part with any flowers or clippings , but the gardener , who was in love , took a sprig to his sweetheart us u gift She , being shrewd , planted it and raised from It several small plants which she sold to the duke's envious neighbors at a great price. In a short time she had saved sutllclcnt money to enable her lover and herself to marry and start housekeep ing , nnd so the Tuscans have a saying that "tho girl worthy of weurlng the Jasmine wreath Is rich enough to make her husband happy. " 'ft * The TriiniiiiM Mluil , Who does not li/vi1 a ininiiill | heart o BWeot tempered , bJlunced life ? It does not iniittur whether It ruins or Bhlneu of what misfortunes come to UIOHO pos sessing these hloiMliiKH , for they nro al ways sweet , serene anil calm , Tlmt exquisite polno of character vvhlcli wo unit serenity IH ( lie h'st lesson of culture ; It IH ( flowering of life , till ) frUltagO Of till ! HOIll. It IH IIH precious an wisdom , more to bo desired thnn gold yea , than oven line gold. How content- ] tie mere money wealth looltH In comparison with a hcrciio life a llfu which dwells lu tlio ocotin of truth , beneath the waves , beyond the reach of tempests , In the eternnl calinl How many people wo know who sour their I IVOR , who ruin all Hint IB sweet and beautiful by explosive torn- pcre , who destroy their poise of charac ter by bad blood ! In fact It is a fines * Ion whether the great majority of peo- > le do not ruin their HVCH and mar holr happiness by lack of self control , low few tropic wo meet In Ilfo where ro well balanced , who hnvo that ox- qulslfo polso which Ifl characteristic of ho finished characterl Success. Tnklnw n Chance. lie looked happy enough as ho walked up to the postofllco box , set a huge bundle on the lloor and began uklnff pretty square envelopes thcre- tom , dropping them by twos and hrccs into Uio box. "Big lot of letters , " remarked the lollcemun. "Nlco day too. " "Letters ! " Bald the happy man. "My dear fellow , thcso nro not letters. They arc wedding Invitations. " A Btcrn look came over the face of ho hitherto friendly policeman. "My friend , " ho said , "I aia sorry to disturb you , but I must do my duty. Como with me. " "Arrested ? " "Yes. " "On what charge , sir ? This Is an outrage. " "Not at all. You.laro advertising a lottery through the post" The man went along. Kansas City Independent. The Dabble Ilcputatlon. The Governor Colonel , don't you know Judge Blank ? Shake hands with him. him.Tho The Colonel Ah , you nro Judge Blank of Blankvlllc ? The Judge Yes ; Blankvlllo Is my home. The Colonel Of course I know you by reputation then. The Governor Colonel , don't you know It always makes mo feel mighty uncomfortable when a man says that about mo that he knows mo by repu tation ? The Colonel IIow Is that , governor ? Why should It make you feel uncom fortable ? The Governor Because , by jingo , I always wonder which reputation ho means. A Simple Sjratcm. Teacher In what year was the battle - tlo of Waterloo fought ? Pupil I don't know. Teacher It's simple enough If you only would learn how to cultivate arti ficial memory. Remember the twelve apostles. Add half that number to them. That's eighteen. Multiply that by 100. That's 1,800. Take the twelve apostles again. Add a quarter of their number to them. That's fifteen. Add what you've got That's 1,815. That's the date. Quito simple , you see , to re member dates If you will only adopt my system. , Mnklna : Sure. This hunting story comes from Scot land : When the beaters came out of the covert , one of the guns said to the keeper , "Havo you got all your beaters out ? " "Aye , " said the man , astonished. "Aro you sure ? Have- you counted them ? " "Counted them ? " said the keeper. "Aye , they're all right" "Then , " said the shooter , with a sigh of sonic relief , "I have shot a roe. " The Spitting Snake. A snake found lu Africa Is called the spitting snake by the Boers. It is be tween two and three feet long and Is especially bold and active , readily at tacking every one who approaches It In confinement It is very savage , openIng - Ing Its mouth and erecting its fangs , from which the poison may be often observed to drop and even sometimes to be forcibly ejected ; whence the name given It by the Boers. Sources of Aluohul. Some terribly potent liquors , it is said , can be distilled from the Innocent lookIng - Ing banana and also from the milk of the -cocoanut The Japanese make n beverage from plums and from the flowers of the mothcrwort and the > each. The Chinese produce several qualities of spirit from rice and peas , all of them intoxicating , besides which they can make an alcoholic drink from mutton. Slime Old Thlnir. Tom Did you call on that pretty tel ephone girl ? Dick Yes , but I guess there was another fellow there ahead of me , or maybe it was only force of habit Tom IIow do you mean ? Dick My card came buck with the message : "Busy. Please call again. " Philadelphia Press. . George. She had been shopping , and he was naturally disturbed. "I hope you didn't spend much mon ey while you were downtown today , " he remarked. "Not a cent except car fare , George , " she answered reassuringly , "I had ev erything charged. " Chicago Post The biggest Little Thing measured by the amount of nutritive value it contains , is the fresh soda cracker. Many people think a cracker an insignificant and easy thing to make yet no one ever succeeded in reaching perfection until Unaeda Biscuit were introduced. To maintain the quality of Unoeda Biscuit : requires the best of everything wheat , flour , baker , and bakery. Un@Odd Biscuit furnishes every element neces sary to bodily vigor ; and , above all , they are fresh and clean. This is due to the Jn-er-seal Package the package with red and white seal which protects them from the air , moisture , dust , and other things not best to mention. There's a world of worry , work , skill and care in making a soda cracker like NATIONAL BISCUIT COMPANV Ton * of Food l'"or the Atlantic. , Commenting on the tremendous amount of food consumed on the aver age Atlantic liner nowadays , a writer In the Springfield Republican says : "At 8 comes the monumental breakfast ; at 11 the deck steward fills up the coma tose figures In the morgue with their beef tea from those thick , obese Eng lish cups ; at 1 the magnanimous lunch- con ; nt ft the sleepers assaulted by the dock steward again ; nt 7 the awesome English dinner ; at 0:30 : a trifling lunch to ballast you for bed. Besides this bar baric mounds of sandwiches , olives , cheese , crackers , perpetually stare you in the face In the smoking room. Food , food , food ; the sight and smell of It pursue the unwilling stomach in every corner of the plute ; food tasted , wasted - ' ed , thrown away. There is ono port hole on the steerage deck , from the galley apparently , which belches It forth In a continuous stream half loves of bread , great remnants of meat ; wo have left a trail of it across the At lantic. If some one would only esti mate the tons of wasted food which are annually thrown into the Atlantic or could calculate how much cheaper these Bteamshlp companies could give us our travel if they substituted plain , Belf respecting fare for this gilded glut tony , It would certainly be Interesting and worth while. Tbe Guillotine and Its Inventor. Ono of the most widely disseminated of popular errors Is that Dr. Gulllotln Invented the grim machine which still bears the name. The real Inventor of this sinister contrivance was Dr. Louis , a well kuowir medical man and permanent secretary of the Parisian School of Medicine , or Academic de Aieuicmc. Dr. Gulllotln , who died in 1814 , ener getically but vainly protested against the use of his name In connection with this disagreeable subject an evidence , if ono were wanted , of the great diffi culty Uiere is of correcting a popular error. Needless to say that the legend that Dr. Gulllotln was among the vic tims of his friend's ingenious and mer ciful Instrument ot destruction is wholly apocryphal. lie died at a good old age and in his bed , surrounded by his children , who , however , obtained permission to change their name. Ontwnrd ShortIn Ituly. All over Italy social life is character ized by a great love of outward show. Here is an anecdote which Mr. Luigl Vllla'rl relates In "Italian Life In Town and Country" to Illustrate this national feeling : An American gentleman who was spending the winter in Naples had taken a fiat in a pulazzo , the first floor of which was occupied by a noble fam ily in somewhat reduced circum stances. He noticed to his surprise that every day he met a servant going up or down the Btalrs carrying n pair of carriage doors. At last the mystery wa6 explained. The said noble family shared a carriage with some other people ple , but each had its own doors with the family coat of arms , to make their friends bellevo that they both had carriages. Didn't Work. First Suburbanite I hear that neigh bor of yours adopted that hired girl of his so as to get her to stay with the family. Second Suburbanite Yes , and now tils adopted daughter wants to stay lu the parlor and play the piano all day and let her mother do the housework. Judge. Titanium is the hardest metal. It looks llko copper , but will scratch rock crystal. THE SAUERKRAUT PEDDLER ; A Character Common to the German Section of New York. The regular and popular visitor to the German inns and taverns of the cast side Is the sauerkraut man. Ho brings his calling with him from the oM vtnvtrg tp& Qp&t. o I&JXQ profitable field In New York than In Berlin or Hamburg. His equipment Is quite cu rious. He wears a blue or white apron running from his neck nearly to the ankles , and from his shoulders is sus pended a circular metal box which goes half around his waist It has three largo compartments , two of which are surrounded by hot water. In ono are well cooked frankfurter sausages and in the other thoroughly boiled sauerkraut In the third com partment is potato salad. Ho carries in his hand a basket in which are small plates and steel forks. One sausage nnd a generous spoonful of sauerkraut nnd iotato salad cost 5 cents. All three articles are of good quality , well cooked and seasoned. He finds his best customers in the bowling alleys , where the exertion demanded by the game produces large appetites. Next to these are the taverns which do not supply food with their drink. Last of all are the halls and meeting rooms where different societies assemble. His night ly stock consists of fifty sausages , sev en pounds of sauerkraut and as much more of salad. On bad evenings he takes only half as much stock as on fair ones. Some of the more fortunate peddlers have arrangements with clubs . which pay them a very fair profit upon their goods. Others are free lances who visit every place where they think they can effect a sale. The metal boxes are very Ingenious nnd are made In Germany. The metal is some variety of pewter , and the fitting of the compartments and of the entire affair to the body is very ac curate. The covers are so well hinged and snug at the edges that when the owner falls down he is not liable to spill any of the contents. The con trivance costs some ? 3 in Germany , and about $5 in New York. A few of the peddlers appeal to educated pal ates and carry with them cervelat , bqck , rch , lebcrwurst and Vienna , as well as frankfurters. These fancy sausages usually bring 10 cents instead of the regulation 5. The forks arc washed after the CUB tomer has finished his little meal , nnd from repeated cleansing ana use nre as bright as silver. The plates , on the other hand , are so banged and bruised that they might be easily mistaken for crackle voar. New York Post CnrcfnlncN * of Surgeon * . It Is an object lesson In godliness to see a surgeon washing his hands after performing an operation , says the Chicago cage Chronicle. He works of course with sleeves rolled up to the elbow , so that the washing extends from the cra zy bone to the tip of the finger nail. First there Is a hard scrubbing with plain soap and sterilized water. This Is followed by a swabbing with tincture of green soap and sterilized water. Then comes a genuine scouring with equal parts of quicklime and soda in sterilized water nnd finally a rinsing In a solution (1 ( to 2.000) ) of bichloride of mercury. Without these four separate washings no surgeon would think of venturing out to scatter germs of dis ease. The highest point to which man can ascend without Ills health being very seriously affected is 10,500 feet. No man can build character by trying to raze that of others. Nashville Ban ncr. comes covered with brown pea scales , which can be easily detached and which , when opened , reveal th flowery looking mass of minute ani mals , whose movements can just bo detected by the naked eye. In May and June , however , the scales are found to contain a swarm of brown creatures with six legs and two an tenna * each. Some of the scales also contain the white bag or cocoon of a small black beetle , which , If left undis turbed , burrows Into and consumes the scales. The Chinese say that this beetle eats the little wax Insects , and It appears certainly the case that where the parasite is most abundant the scales fetch a lower price In the mar ket Chambers' Journal. All In the Family. They were discussing the factors which make for success in the world , when the knowing young man said : "There's nothing like force of char acter , old man. Now , there's Jones. Sure to make his way in the world. Has a will of his own , you know. " "But Brown has something better in his favor. " "What's that ? " "A will of his uncle. " Stray Stories. Tvr Dinner * , One Meal. "I have a lawyer friend whose name Is not Henry Peck , but It might be , " said a city official. "Last week my wife and I were in vited to his house for dinner , and you never saw finer silver nnd china on a table , but food was at extreme low tide. My wife gave me a significant glance , and I saw the color rise to the checks of our host , but he played the agreeable without a word or' look of disapproval. "Both my wife and I were awfully hungry when we started for home , and , . < Bhe at once accepted my invitation to enter the first restaurant we saw for a good square meal. We were no sooner seated than we saw our dinner host come sneaking in nnd take a scat in an obscure corner. ' "Make believe that wo don't see him , ' said my wife , with a woman's tact We did make believe , and , the funny part is , so did our late host. By the friendly aid of a mirror I saw when he first observed us the color come to his cheeks , as It had at his own table. He turned as far from us as possible and ate as though he were not enjoying his meal very much. " New York IJerald. Moqnl Village Crier * . tt Among the picturesque features of life in the MoquI villages are the town criers , who take the place of the dally newspapers in civilized communities. There are two of these functionaries , one representing the "hostlles" and the other the "friendlles , " the opposing po litical parties in the Tusuyan villages. Twice n day these officials ascend to the housetops and , wrapped In their Bcarlef blankets , their figures outlined against the clear blue sky , call out In long drawn , resonant tones whatever announcement or record of town hap penings may be in order. The Woo * of Cupid. "Men is sbo' fickle , " sold Miss Miami Brown. "Dey goes back on you on do sllghtes1 provocation. " "What's been happcnln1 ? " asked Miss Ollna Jefferson Tompklns. "Mr. Rastus Plnkley come aroun' tryln' to kiss me , an' , so as not to seem too wlllln' an1 audacious , 1 smashed \ 'im wlf a flatlron , an' Jes' fob dat he * " Jilted me.-Washington Star. * The Karth'i Other Alotlsa. The earth , In addition to its diurnal and annual revolutions , has a slow Wahblln" nf Itu uvla u nmllnn uulilnm