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About The Norfolk weekly news-journal. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1900-19?? | View Entire Issue (Oct. 17, 1902)
T1TK NORFOLK NKWS : F1UOA V , OCTOHHH .17 , HIS "READY MADE' SCOOP. . . . . Dy CHARLES MISTED G ) ) > | /rylif ( , S. llttlumlton Jerry was us smart n newspaper reporter - porter as over wont on the police do- tall , but ho was not liked by tlu > other follows. All track of .lorry would be lost for an hour or HO , but ho would turn up smiling , and next morning the public would be treated to another freak stork In the Twister a small "scoop , " as newspaper men call an ex clusive Item of news. Then we police reporters , one and all , would have to face our city editors that day and make some explanation. There wore three of us who became tired of this sort of thing and almost found ourselves shuddering at the very - name of Jerry , because , as for me , the city editor had said point blank and without anj ; frills on It that If the Dally Twister got a "boat" on mo ngaln I would be expected to look for another berth. We were loatlng around the detective department nt police headquarters one night about 11:80 : discussing .Jerry. IIo It ; had been around most of the day , and we knew he was taking In one of the theaters that night , BO we had no fears. "Say , " said Currle of the Stellar , "wonder If he would bite nt the old gag ? " "Oh , the dickens ! " put In Brlggs of the Mercury. "He Is too old lu the business for that. " "Don't know about that , " I vcn- turcd. "I have seen some pretty old birds fall Into that same trap. He Is at the show , and after seeing the girl home he'll be late , and If we get away early he'll naturally be anxious , do you see ? " "Well , let her go ! " said Brlggs. "What's It to be ? " "Must be a mystery , " put In Currle. I pulled a wad of copy paper out of my pocket and began to write. "What Is It , Scotty ? " asked Brlggs. "Suicide on the water front , " I mum bled as I wrote on. "Where ? " asked Currle. "Oh , Just on the water front. Give him the whole water front to work on. " By this time I had written three sheets , put the first two in my pocket , and , numbering the third " 19 , " crum . pled it up and threw It on the lloor | I beside my seat , where it could easily be seen. "What number did you have on the last sheet , Scotty ? " asked Currle. "Nineteen , " I replied. "How does it read ? " "Begins In the middle of a sentence and breaks at another , giving a partial description of a suit of clothes found on a dock. " "Good boy ! I'll begin on page 23. Listen to this as I write. " and Currle scribbled on , at the same time repeat- HE WAS MOrPINO UP A Bia SPLASH ON THE FLOOIl. ing : "Also a soft felt hat. What drove the poor fellow to such a horrible method of ending his life is hard to conceive. Spots of blood were discov ered" "Stop there , " said Brlggs. "Give me n show , " and he began : "Page No. 40 But the police authorities both in that division and at headquar ters claim they know nothing of the mystery , which leads to the belief that" And here Brlggs crumpled up his sheet and left it on the table. Cur rle had left his page on the desk just na he had written it beside a few other blank sheets. Wo left the room , walked over to the Hub , loafed round a bit and then phoned No. 1 station. Currlo was at the machine and called : "Hello , Bcrgennt ! Has Jerry of the Twister been over there ? " Currle waited a few seconds , then roared with laughter. "Never mind , ser geant , " we heard him say ; "we'll bring you over n Key West cigar. Yes , two- of them. Very good ! By by ! " Currle joined us In 'the small room , laughing heartily. "The sergeant Bays Jerry must have been drinking. 'The fool , ' says the sergeant , 'thinks there is some mysterious suicide on the water front , and called mo a liar when 'fe I told him there wasn't. " ' We enjoyed this , for wo knew Ser geant O'Connor's temper. i i when 1 laughed , " contmuot Oi'nio. "latumbled. . Lot's go over ! " ' Brings bought the cigars , and In wo trooped to headquarter * . The sergeant - . goant was smiling and pointed to one | of the station mon , who was mopping up a big splash on the lloor. "What's the matter ? " I asked. "That fool .lorry called mo a liar , and , as I couldn't .got at him quick ' enough , 1 throw the mucilage pot. " | This was rich , and again wo had a good laugh , and handed over the | cigars. There was nothing now at the station , so wo all reported at our re- ppoctlvo ollloos , and each told his city editor the yarn , which was much en joyed. Next morning Curtis , our city edi tor , called mo In , and ho laughingly held up a copy of the Twister "You follows allowed that Jouo to go too far , Sootty , " ho said. "This will cost Jerry his Job , I am afraid , lie has got a yarn here a column and a half long , and It makes good reading too. He even names his victim. " I I laughed. The Joke had gone , splendidly. I "Mr. Scott , " said the cilice boy , i "some one wants you at the phone. " I wont. "Hello ! Brlggs , that you ? Did you see the Twister ? Ha , ha ! What ? Cur- rle ? Is ho ? Going to leave town ? Why , yes ; I'll be out In a Jiffy. At the Hub ? All right. " What was up now at the Stellar olllce ? Currle , the last of all men. 1 reached the Hub , made at once for the small room , and there sat Currle alone | Binoklng a cigar , and three cocktails ( ready for Immediate consumption were on the table lu front of him. "What's the row , old man ? Where's Briggs ? " I asked in one breath. "Here's Briggs now , " replied Currle , as the door opened. "Now sit down , fellows. Drink up , and , Brlggs , you press the button for another. We'll need It. " "Buz-z-z" went the bell. All was si lence. "We are scooped again , " said Cur- rie slowly , with great emphasis on the "again , " "and it's up to George Currie of the Stellar , Fred Briggs of the Mer cury and Bill Scott of the Bounder to pass In their chips. " The waiter entered at this stage. "Don't know what you are driving at , Currle , " said Brlggs , and , turning to the waiter , continued , "but we'll have to have another drink anyway. Same all round. " "Look here , " said Currlc , "I have ucen my city editor , I have been at po lice headquarters and at the morgue , and I have seen Jerry and that one and a half column yarn of his in the Twist- cr is a bona llde story. The suicide hap pened across the bay on the Island , and no one would have located It until to day , and we would have been all right , every one of us , but for that joke of ours last night. It made Jerry search the water front until 1 o'clock this morning , and then when he could flnd nothing he hired a boat , rowed to the island , and I'll be hanged if the story was not there waiting on him. " Briggs said something I hate to re peat , only it sounded most appropriate for the occasion. We wrote three notes to three city editors , pooled our finances , and next day three bright newspaper men were looking for a job down the coast. Why r.vrnmhlH AVere nnllt. The Interest of the Delhi and Bena res observatories lies for us In the fact that they recall n time far In the past when astronomers sought for exact ness by the erection of huge structures of stone. Of these the great pyramid is by far the greatest and most perfect example. Britain has Its own monument ment Stouehenge which has been claimed as , If not indeed , an astronom ical observatory , ut least an astronom ical temple , and many attempts have been made to determine the date at which It was erected. The dllllculty , not to say the Impossibility , of solving this problem in the present state of the monument may be Inferred from the fact that the dates which different careful observers have deduced for Its erection extend over a period of more than 2,000 years , says a writer In Knowledge. The real work of astronomy was never done lu edifices like those. Nor indeed does It require much knowledge of human nature , essentially the same 5,000 years ago as today , to see that the true secret of the pyramid , the am ply sufllclent cause for its building , was the vanity of the ruling phuraoh. Alike at Delhi , at GIzeh and on Salis bury plain , as by the Euphrates , to "make a name" was the exciting mo tive. Astronomers may have been em ployed to superintend the work , astron omy , or the cult of the celestial bodies , may have been the excuse , but the real object was advertisement. TVlmt the Fliincr. Tell. As far as the fingers are concerned palmists divide hands Into three class es. es.First First come those with long , slender and tapering fingers. A person with such fingers has an Innate love of art , poetry and music and probably also for literature. In the second class the fingers are shorter , nearly equal In length and with blunt tips. They show a practical mind of a rather commonplace order * thorough and reliable rather than bril liant. A woman with fingers of this description would make a good house keeper , while a man similarly provided would be cautious and thorough in business. In the third section come hands with short , thick and square looking fingers , with short , wide nails cushioned at the sides. The owner of such fingers Is probably strong and active , with a hearty appreciation of the good'things of this life and n keen eye to his own Interest. He Is seldom hampered In his undertakings by diffidence and rarely errs In thinking too much of the feel ings and Interests of others. AERIAL POLO , ( A llucrr Kliul of AtiiiiMCiuriit on n I'lU'llli' Orrnu Inlntitl , Writing on "Our Equatorial Islands" . In tlu > Century , JamoH 1) . Hague Hays : i It became an amusing diversion to overturn the large Hat stones beneath ] which the rat.s Wore hiding In milld masses and watch them an they scampered - pored In all dlroi'tloiiH , pursued and quickly snatched up by the man-o'-war hawks. These crafty birds were apt to learn that the appearance of a man walking on the Island , especially with a dog , mount rats for them , and any one thus going forth was usually fol lowed by a hovering flock , ready and Impatient for tin ; Hport they had learned to expect. A nit brought to hand by the dog was quickly tossed lu air , where the birds were ready to Hiiatch It , sometimes with a contest on the wing for the disputed possession. One form ofxthls sport , a sort of aerial polo , which seemed to bo as good fun for the birds as for the observers , con sisted In tossing two rats Into the air at the same moment , not singly and apart , but tied together with about six foot of strong twine. Instantly the birds made a dash for the rats , and the BUecoRsful winner of the llrst prize went sailing oil' with one rat In his bill and the other swing ing In the air beneath until snatched by the second winner , when , after a quick , sharp Htruggle and a taut , strain on the cord , the bird with the weaker hold was compelled to let go. This then went on as a continuous perform ance , with somewhat Jonah-like but rapidly repeated disappearances and I reappearances of the little rats , swal lowed and reluctantly disgorged by the birds In quick succession until the Hock , thoroughly exhausted by their Impetuous flight and extraordinary exercise , alighted on the ground for a short truce , when the two temporary stakeholders would be found sitting face to face , keenly eying each other from opposite enila of the string still connecting them , each anxiously on the sharp lookout for sudden jerks and unpleasant surprises , while all the oth er pursuers gathered around in a ring , waiting for the two prize birds to fly. The general aspect of all participants Bcemed to verify the familiar ndago that the pleasure Is not in the game , but in the chase. A PET ECONOMY , Almost Every Blnii Maintains One , Small Though It May He. "Got about ? " asked a match you the bookkeeper of the chief buyer. "Wonder you wouldn't buy matches once in awhile ! " growled the buyer. "I've been supplying you with matches for years. " "I never buy matches never have and never will , " said the bookkeeper. "It Is my pet economy. Most every man has one. " And the bookkeeper was right. Near ly every man has a pet economy and will go to a great length to Indulge it. At the Union club they still tell of a worthy old member who was particular about using a certain kind of soap , but was not willing to buy It. They used the soap at the club , and he appropri ated the cakes as fast as he needed them. IIo needed so many that the steward ch. ngod the brand. The same spirit of economy In small things makes other people stuff them selves with bread In order that no but ter may be left on their plate and wast ed. Hundreds of men would not dream of buying a lead pencil. To save buy ing stationery others write their let ters at hotels which are generous In providing writing materials. Scores of men and women pave pennies by pickIng - Ing up discarded newspapers In the ele vated trains and ferryboats. And so It goes. It is not so much the actual money saved that moves people in these little schemes ; rather an Inborn desire to economize in something. But to return to the bookkeeper , the buyer and the matches. The bookkeep- cr continued : "You are stingy with your old matches - es I'll just take a lot , and then I'll b * independent of you. " Then he emptied out half the bo New York Tribune. SHOES. Never wear a shoe that pinches the heel. heel.Never Never wear a shoo or boot tight any- tphere. Never come from high heels to low heels nt one jump. Never wear a shoe that will not al low the great toe to lie in n straight line. Never wear leather Bole linings to etand upon. White cotton drilling or linen Is healthier. Never wear a shoe with a sole nar rower than the outline of the foot traced with a pencil close under the rounding edge. Never wear a shoe with a sole turnIng - Ing up very much at the toes , as this causes Uic cords on the upper part of the foot to contract Never have the top of the boota tight , ns it interferes with the action of the oalf muscles , makes one walk badly and spoils the shape of the ankle. Never think that the feet will grow large from wearing proper shoes. Pinching and distorting make them grow not only large , but unsightly. A proper natural use of all the muscles makes them compact and attractive. One ICInil of Conjunction. "What Is a conjunction ? " asked the teacher. "That which Joins together , " was the prompt reply. "Give an Hlustratlon , " said the teach- cr. cr.The The up to date miss hesitated and blushed. "The marriage service , " she said at last. Chicago Post , A Imiiuuhl , liiiiiiu'Ni | < Iml ) , In a root in aildrisn in Tokyo a piom- Inent JapatuHo odit'-nlnr ' said : "The In dolence of , lnpun Hi > IrillcH IN Homo- thing amay.lng. 1 kiuv a daughter of a certain peir , hut a brand now one , and this young lml.\'n Indolence IH real ly beyond tin- Idea of ordinary mor tals. She will nut oven open her mouth of herHolf. AH noon MM ( lie time to re tire to her bed arrtvoH HIO ! IMHUOH In r order , 'Now I will rellro , ' and at omo throe or four maldH Hpread the under- quilts , help her , or , rather , make her , for Hho Nlmply stands like a doll , to change her clothes , and at last the girl , Hwaildled In her night garment , IM put to bed Just like a person HUtVorlng from a HorlouH IllnoHH , and so ( lie poor thing gocH to Hleep and releases her inaldrt from their trouble till the morning , when the dally routine IH roNUined. First of all she IHSIIOH to the maldn walling In her anteroom thin extraor dinary order , 'I Khali got up now , ' and then the process exactly the reverse of that of the night before IH forth with commenced by the girls. Day after day thin routine IH gone through , and the spoiled child of the proud up- Ktart poor forces herself from her mlH- taken notion as to dignity to lead the life of an Invalid and to cripple the normal development of her body. " Chicago News. I'Msli I'rovorlm. "I have ether fish to fry" ono flays In declining a task. "A pretty kittle of fish , " nays another In designating a pretty bad moss. The "kittle" Is the tackle of the llsli boom , which may easily got Into a sad miarl. "There are other llsh In the Hoa , " Hays the rejected suitor. "Mute as a Huh , " "Dead as a herring , " "As uneasy at ) a llnh out of water , " "To llHh for compliments , " are among the best known figurative ex pressions referring to the llnny tribe. "Very like a whale" wo may refer at least to Shakespeare's time ( "Hamlet , " ill , 2) ) . "White as whalobonu" was coined when walrus Ivory was taken for whale's bone. "The shark Hies the feather" Is a sailor's saying , Indicating the fact that this voracious fish will not touch a bird. The use of the term "land shark" is not confined to seamen by any means. Shakespeare makes use of another nautical expression In "Twelfth Night , " 1 , 8. Trno liltcrntnre. We are inclined on the whole to be Hove that the stimulus to literary pro ducllon exists within and not without the man.It t Is not external clrcum Btttiices , poverty or riches , sickness or health , greatness or humbleness , that determine the productions or output of genius. It Is the characteristics of the man that determine not what ho shall learn or what he shall think , but what he shall do. A stimulus from without , such as poverty , may start production , of course , but that IH merely the phys ical awakening of a disposition that In any circumstances would have been awakened In some way at some time. True literature Is the volco of the soul calling from the windows of the house of clay In rofsponKo to those things of life that touch the nature of the soul that speaks. London Spectator. YIIWIIH of Wrath. The singular habit of signifying an ger by yawning IH'confined to the monkey tribe and Is most marked In the baboon family , though the Glbral tar apes also indulge In It. It IH prob able that the gesture Is originally In tended to frighten an adversary by a display of teeth , just as n dog does and that the constant wide opening of the mouth produces an Involuntary yawn. In fact , If n human being keeps on opening his mouth In this way a yawn will result. If two strange baboons are put together In the same cage , they Immediately con front each other and commence yawn Ing , and if vexed or Insulted by vis itors they will do the same thing. Fat Crystal ) ! . If small quantities of butter , lard and beef fat be separately boiled and slowly cooled for , say , twenty-four hours , the resulting crystals will show very marked differences under the mi croscope. The normal butter crystal is large and globular. It polarizes bril liantly and shows a well marked St Andrew's cross. That of lard shows a stellar form , while that of beef fat has a foliated appearance. In course of time , as the butter loses its freshness the globular crystal degenerates and gradually merges into peculiar rosette- like forms. An Old Verb. To laze is an old verb. In Samuel Rowlands' "Martin Markall , " 1010 , wo are told that "Joytercrs laze in the Btreete , lurke in alehouses and range in the hlghwalcs. " The word occurs , I believe , in some of Mortimer Collins' lyrics : Dut Cupid lazcth 'mongst the falery lasses , Whoso clcre complexion he oft Bwearetl passes. Notes and Queries. Every one out of bed likes to claim occasionally that it is force of will power alone that is keeping him up. Atchlsou Globe. The Cobra of India. Among the true cobras of India tbe naja 1s found all over India and Cey lon , Burma , the Andaman inlands , southern China and the Malay penin sula and archipelago. It ascends the Himalayas to an altitude of 8,000 feet. It extends also over Afghanistan and through Persia to the eastern shore of the Caspian. It may attain n length of nearly seven and n half feet , but it is usually not more than a little over live- and n half feet long. Najas vary much In color and markings , but have generally the spectacle mark on the bock of the nock , which they always distend before making an attack. Quarterly Ilevlew. THE WOODCOCK , DOOM II IlliliDtirliiit lli < < Molt * Inu Ni'iiftiiiif It In during the niontlui of August ami September that the mystery of , the wimdoiioli'H life beglim. Tills IH the noltlng HCIIHIIII , when the bird ! changes KM plumage before beginning UH Journey southward. At thlH time It leavoH the HwampH. Where dnoH It go ? That IH a question which IIMH nev er yet reeeUed a HiitlHi'aelory answer , although each NporlHinan and natural- lnl IIMH liln own opinion , and many line Hpnn theories have been advanced. Some nay that the lilnln move toward the north , HOIIIO that they nook the mountain topn , coming Into the swnmpH j to feed only after nightfall ; Homo lhati they nook the cornllolilH , and there have been many other mich theories | Probably the truth lien In a mean of , all those HlatomeiitH. 1 think It prob-1 able that the birds know the IOHH of , their feathei-H rondcrH them to a cor-J tain extent holploHH iind more exposed to thoattaeliHof their natural onomlcH , and they therefore leave the more open Hwamp.s and iildo In the densest and tnoHt tangled thickets. It IH certain that they Hcattor , for at thin season single blrdH are found In the most un- UHiiul and unexpected places. Years ago when shooting In Dutch- CHS county , N. Y. , I knew ono or two HwampH , which wo called molting' HwampH , where In August wo worn1 1 Bttre to flnd a limited number of blrdH. Those Hwamps were overgrown with rank marsh griiHH and were full of patches of wild rose and Hwootbrlor. If we killed the blrdH which we found there , wo were mire In a week or ten dayto flnd their places tilled by about the BUIUU number. Outing. The WedilliiK Olft. It is a golden rule to Hond n wedding Rift in good time , the first to arrive be ing much more appreciated than that which Is one of the many pouring In from all quarters during the hiHt week. By adhering to thin rule ono will bo saved the annoyance of hearing that the saltcellarn are charming the third set already received. A month before the wedding day In not too early to send the present , which flhould be accompanied by a vlultitic card. The package should bo addressed to the bride , ( f one Is Intimate with the happy couple , and to the bride's IIOUKO , addressed to the bridegroom , If It Is ho witli whom one Is best acquainted. Thr There are thuigs that only n doctor can micccHHfully accomplish , and there are other things which the phy- Blclan may Hafoly relegate to a competent - ' tent asHlstant. "I understand the doctor has Just been to see your huHband , Mrs. Mc Carthy , " said Mr. McCarthy's employ er. "Has ho made a diagnosis ? " For n moment Mrs. McCarthy wan submerged In a sea of doubt , but Hho rose triumphant. "No , HOIT , " she said confidently , "he left It to mo , him saying I wan well able to do It , sorr. H'H to be made wld linseed on a slitout muslin , horr. " "Why , yes , I have seen a good deal of Tom Koblnson recently. Fact Is , IIO'H one of the most entertaining mon 1 ever mot. Really , I didn't know there was HO much In him. He's positively brilliant when you got him talking. Most delightful companion and HO liu.s- pltablo and" "I bee. Which of Koblnson's slstern Is It the little one with the black hair or the tall blond ono ? " "It's the little one with the black hair. " A ICU * and a Snap. In 1837 Mr. Thomas Savcrland brought an action against Miss Caroline line Newton , who had bitten n piece out of his nose for IIH ! having tried to kiss her by way of a Joke. The defendant was acquitted , and the judge laid down that "when a man kisses a woman against her will she Is fully entitled to bite his nose If she so pleases. " "The Kiss and Its History. " "You understand , of course , that my daughter has been reared in the lap of luxury ? " "Why , she told me last night that mine was the ilrst er , that is , I hope , sir , that I may be able to make such provision us to keep her from pining for the lap you mention. " Chicago Herald. The Same Old Climate. "Is not your climate rather changea ble ? " asked the tourist. "No , It Isn't , " answered the old set tler who always contradicts. "If It was , don't you suppose we'd have changed It for something else years ago ? " Washington Star. A Modest Thespian. Brlggs--That fool Stephlgh considers himself the greatest nctor on earth. Benson Is that so ? He's getting strangely modest. lie used to consider himself the greatest actor that ever Ilvcd.-Tlt-Blts. The Useful Men. Encourage the useful men in tbe community. Don't start foolish and un truthful stories about them and dis courage the work they are doing. If you cannot do anything for the public good yourself , don't discourage those who are willing to give their time and money toward developing the commu nity in which you live. Atchlson Globe. She Old. "Auntie , Charles Gass proposed tome mo last night. " "The Impudent fellow ! Somebody ought to sit down on him. " "Why , auntie , I rather think some body did. " Baltimore News. After the raltloHiiako had boon adopt * rd IIH an emblem and had appeared on the linen of wvoral of the colonies Ben jamin Franklin defended the device on the grounds that the rattloHnako IH found only In America ; ( hat all Her pentH * omlilotim were considered by the anelenlH to bo H.unlioln of wlHdom ; that his bright , HdloHH oycH HlgnlCv vlgl lance ; that bo never attaekH without Ili'Ht giving fair warning of his prow- dice ; that ! IH ! rallloH , while dlntlnet , are HO llnnl.v joined that they cannot bo Hoparaloil without being ruined fur over , and that UN ho grown older the rattloH liierciiHo In number , IIH It wan to bo hoped tln > eolonloH would. Indeed thin Idea \VIIH inado use of In a ling device which represented a rat tlesnake with nine Jnlnln , cncli joint lettered with red Hllk. The head \MIH marked "N. 15. " ( Now 1'nglaiid ) . the re- malnlng Hoctloim "N. Y. , " "N.J. , " "Pa , " "Md. , " "Va. , " "N. ( ' . , " "H. C. , " and "Oa. " Thin eurlotiH standard WIIH dis carded for the ono made by Mi'H. UOHH In Philadelphia In 1777 , a flag Hlmllar to the 1'nltod KtatoH Hag of today , only with fewer Hlaiu Only I'ui-Hiiliiir HIM I'rofi-NNlon. A Brooklyn maglHtrate recently had four darkles who were caught In a gambling raid before him. The first of the lot to bo brought to the bar WIIH an undorHl/.cd man , with a comical face , IIH black IIH night , The dlaloguo between the magistrate and the prlH- j oner created HOIIIU luwhaunt In the court. j "What Is your name ? " Inquired the ( uiaglHtrato Htornly. "Mali name'H Bmlff , " replied the darky. "What Is " your profoHslon ? "I'zo a lockHinlff by trade , sab. " "What were you doing when the po lice broke Into the room liiHt night ? " "Judge , I wan purmUu' mall profes- Blon. I wan uiaklu1 n bolt for ; l door. " * "Officer , " said the magistrate , with q merry twinkle in Ills eye , "lock 1 Smith up.-Now York Tribune. , k Strcl HUynornporn. An architect of Now York says that with the modern Hteel frame a buildIng - Ing can be carried to a height equal to seven and one-half times the diam eter of the base. By thlu rule on an ordinary city block could be erected a building 1,500 feet high. GOO feet higher than the Eiffel tower. It would have 125 stories and cost about $30- 000,000. A Pointer. Brlggs IIow do you know Mrs. Dul cet IH such a handsome woman ? You Bay you never saw her. Grlggs No , but you should hear how the other women talk about her. Bos ton Transcript Somebody figures that there are 1.-137 remedies for rheumatism. But It gotn there Just the same. New York World. Method In Illi "I thought you mild you were going to bring a friend home to dinner , " Bald Mrs. Skimpy to her husband. "lie couldn't come , Anna , " replied Mr. Skimpy as ho hat down with great ( satisfaction to ( ho 11 rut good dinner he had had a chance to attack for a long time. What Disturbed Him. Mlgglcs I hear you upset a plate of poup on Miss Smith's gown at dinner last night. Wiggles Yes , and It was awfully embarrassing. You know it isn't pollto to ask for a second plate of soup. Chicago cage News. I'arr and I'mklne. Dr. Parr on meeting Lord Chancellor Ersklne , with whom he was friendly , once gald , "Ersklne , 1 mean to wrlto your epitaph when you die. " "Doctor , " answered the great lawyer , "It Is almost a temptation to commit suicide. " Their Single Thought. Hook That young married couple appear to be two souls with but a single thought. Nye Yes. He thinks he's the only thing on earth , and she agrees with htm. Philadelphia Record , Filial Sympathy. "When I was your age , " said Mr. Goldbags sternly , " 1 earned my own living. " His son looked uneasy , but was si lent "Well , have you nothing to say for yourself In that connection ? " "N-nothlng , sir , except tliat I sym pathize with you , and congratulate you on the fact tliat it's nil over. " London Tit-Bits. Not a Considerate as IIo Mlirht De. "He's a good friend of yours , isn't be ? " "Oh , only medium. " "What do you mean by medium ? " "Oh , he listens while I tell him all of my troubles , but he also wants mete to listen while he tells me all of bis. " Chicago Post tlerChllillih Faith. A little girl on East Third street , who is noted for her slangy conversa tion and has besides the sublime faith of childhood In the providence of God , startled the household the other even ing by her irreverent speech , which , of course , she didn't mean in the way she put it After she retired her mother heard her calling "Owl , God , " several times , and hastened to her crib to learn what was wanted. The child asked petu lantly ns soon as her mother had ar rived : "Mamma , can't God hear ? " "Yee , dear , " replltd her mother. "Why ? " "Well , I've been calling for Him for half an hour and He basn't made a Bouudl" Duluth Newfl-Trlbuue.