Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, January 12, 1911, Image 3

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    tit 11 s
[ Sarsap.arilla
Cures all humors , catarrh and
rheumatism , relieves that tired
feeling , restores the appetite ,
cures paleness , nervousness ,
builds up the whoje system.
*
Get it today in usual liquid form or
chocolated tablets called Sareatabs.
EXCELLENT BAB
ft A III ? In rebuilt
UAIIIU nod s.iRhtly
used type
writers of all inukcs ,
VSVrite for list of twenty-
flvo special bargains.
Fi Swftnson GOi
i , sioux city , iowa
E. Ooleman/Wash.
PATENTS fngton.D.C. Books free. High
est references. Best results.
PRECAUTIONS.
4
w /
* 'i mustn't color my lips tonight , for
Pm rare to Bit out half a dozen dances
with Charlie , and he's such a boy for
kissing. "
IF YOU WOULD BE WELL
KEEP YOUR KIDNEYS WELL ,
4
The kidneys filter the blood. When
ihey are sick , the uric poison is re
tained and various troubles result No
kidney symptom , however slight ,
should he neglected. There is no betr
ter remedy for
"Every-fic/irrt sick kidneys
elkAStor/ than D can's
Kidney PiUs.
George Seid-
er , 632 Pacific
Ave. , Alameda ,
Cal. , says : "I
could not lie
on my side ow
ing to the sore
ness over my kidneys. My limbs
swelled badly and the flesh was soft
and flabby. After beginning to use
Doan's Kidney Pills , the swelling van
ished and the pain , in my back disap
peared. "
Remember the'name Doan's.
For sale by all dealers. 60 cents a
box. Foster-Milburn Co. , Buffalo , N. Y ,
Bo'sun and Sir John Fisher.
Admiral Potter told a new one on
Sir John Fisher. When Sir John was
at the head of the British admiralty
he was most inaccessible. One day an
old boatswain appeared. He would
not take "no" for an answer. Finally
a secretary went into Sir John's of
fice , leaving the door ajar. He told
the admiral that a sailor demanded
an interview.
"Tell him to go to hell , " roared Sir
John.
"Aye , aye , sir , " piped the boatswain ,
who stood in the doorway at a re
spectful salute ; "I know I'll meet you
there , sir , but I want to talk to you
now , too. "
A Settler.
Mand Jack said when he proposed
that he could give me only the neces *
saiies of life.
Ethel And what did you say ?
Maud I told him that one of the
necessaries of my life was a husband
who could supply me with the luxu
ries.
_
If I were an inventor I would ex
pend all my energies in trying to
patent a collar button that would
come when it was called.
CONSTIPATION
Munyon's Paw
Paw Pills are nnlika
all other laxatives or
cathartics. They coar
the liver into activ
ity by gentle meth
ods. They do not
scour ; they do not
gripe ; they do not
weaken ; but they do
start all the secre
tions of the liver and
stomach in a way that
soon puts these or
gans in a healthy
condition and cor
rects constipation.
Munyon's Paw-Paw Pills are" , a tonic
to the itomach , liver and nerves. They
Invigorate instead of weaken ; they en
rich the blood instead of impoverish it ;
they enable the stomach to get all _ the
nouriihment from , food that is put into
it.
it.Thaae
Thaae pQls contain no calomel , no
dept , they are soothing , healing and
rtunulating. They school the bowels to
act without physic. Price 25 cents.
TAKE A DOSE OF
pis
. THE BEST MEDICINE
for COUGH & COLD !
VERY USEFUL CAN OPENER
Contrivance That Takes Top Off Bottles
tles and Has a Corkscrew
Besides.
*
A can opener that Is a regular cab
inet of tools has been designed by a
New York man. In addition to open
ing tin cans and boxes , this imple
ment will remove the paper tops from
milk bottles and the crown caps from ,
beer bottles , take out the at corks
from mustard bottles and jars and
draw the cork of any other kind of
bottle. In general appearance the
tool resembles most other can open
ers , but there is a spiked projection
above the main blade and a hook in
the rear of it This upper spike Is
for lifting out milk bottle caps , which
are often hard to get out with the
fingers or a fork , and for extracting
the flat corks , for which it Is scarcely
worth while to use a corkscrew. The
corkscrew , by the way , is hinged to
the tool and folds into the handle
when not in use. The hook is for re
moving the caps from beer and soft-
drink bottles. As a matter of fact ,
this implement is more of a bottle
opener than a can opener.
EASILY WASHED AT HOME
Handkerchiefs With Careful Handling
Can Be Made to Last Much
Longer.
Delicate handkerchiefs can be done
up easily at home , and careful hand
ling causes them to wear much bet
ter. Wet them , rub each gently over
with good white soap , and soak in
tepid .water overnight. Squeeze out
( do not wring ) , put them in a small
enameled pan , cover with cold water
and half a teaspoonful of powdered
borax. Boil slowly , pour into a basin ,
add cold water and squeeze out all
soap.
Next immerse them In clear tepid
water , rinse about in this ; then
plunge into cold water tinged with
blue. Leave in this for half an hour ,
squeeze and dip into a slight stiffen
ing ( one teaspoonful of corn flour tea
a cupful of boiling water ) . Squeeze
and roll carefully each handkerchief
In a towel , and iron with a moderate
ly hot iron.
A Home-Made Present.
A row of hand-embroidered scallopi
to trim a corset cover is not an un
acceptable gift for a friend. Just
enough to apply to neck and armholes -
holes ( but enough without a doubt )
is a reasonable amount to make. Get
handkerchief linen and stamp upon it
tiny scallops , with an eyelet in each
or in every alternate scallop , if sim
plicity is the point you strive tor.
This bit of handwork , perfectly pad
ded , buttonholed , eyeleted and then
cut out , pressed and mounted upon
colored tissue paper , will not be
scorned by the friend in need or the
woman who never embroiders. It is
entirely applicable to the next corset
: over , and easily done at that.
Cider Pie.
Mix together one cup of sugar , twc
tablespoonfuls of flo'ur , four tablespoonfuls -
spoonfuls boiled cider , one egg , one-
half cup boiling water ; stir all to
gether and bake with one or two
crusts.
No. 2. One cup of sugar , one egg ,
yolk of one egg , one teaspoonful
cloves , one teaspoonful cinnamon , one-
half cup boiled cider , one-half cup wa
ter one tablespoonful flour , pinch salt ;
bake with one crust
Meringue White of one egg , one
tablespoonful sugar ; return to oven
and brown slightly.
Jumble Cake.
Two cups sugar and one cup but
ter creamed together with the hands.
Add four eggs well beaten , one cup
sweet milk , one teaspoon cream of
tartar , one-half teaspoon soda , three
cups sifted flour and one cup1 of
chopped raisins and one cup chopped
walnut meats. Spread in shallow tins
about one-fourth inch thick ( or little
more ) , bake in quick oven ( not too
hot ) . When done remove from oven
and sprinkle sugar ovtr the top and
sift grated nutmeg over the sugar.
This flavors it. Set away to cool. Cut
into squares.
Bread and Prune Pudding.
Soak a pound of prunes in warm
water all day. Butter a baking dish
and put in a layer of stale bread cut
in thin slices and buttered a little ,
then a layer of stoned prunes , and so
on until the dish i : . full , the last layer
being bread. Beat two eggs with one-
quarter cup of sugar , add a pint of
milk , pour over the prunes and bread ,
and bake one hour.
TAKING THE HOPEFUL VIEW
Jury In Case of Man Charged With
Stealing Ham Find Him Guilty
Despite Brilliant Plea.
The prisoner's lawyer was address
ing the jury.
"Gentlemen , " he said , "the attor
ney for the prosecution refers to my
client as a "double dyed villain. '
That's what he is , gentlemen , and
that's all he is ! He is only a villain
by reason of the dye the double-dye ,
if you please with which the infa
mously false testimony in this case
has colored him ! And those dyes
are not fast colors ; they will come
out in the wash. I confidently look
to your verdict , gentlemen of the
Jury , to remove those spurious stains
from the character of a cruelly and
unjustly persecuted man and reveal
him as he really is , an upright , hon
est citizen , white as the driven
snow ! "
Thereupon the 12 jurors , good men
and true , without leaving their seats ,
unanimously found the defendant
yuilty of stealing the ham.
In the Far West.
What is the cause of such up
roarious mirth ? " demanded the new
arrival In the western town.
"Lot of motorists have arrived on a
tour , " explained Amber Pete , "an * the
cowboys are laughing at their funny-
looking bearskin coats. "
"And what are the motorists laughIng -
Ing at ? "
"Oh , they are laughing at the cow
boys' b'arskln trousers. "
Sorry He Asked.
"Have you any special terms for
ftutomobilists ? " asked the man in
bearskin and goggles.
"Wai , yes , " responded the old tollgate -
gate keeper , whose gate had been
broken down by speeding machines.
"Sometimes I call them dead beats
an ' sometimes I call them blamed
rascals. Anything else you want to
know , mister ? " *
DIFFERENT WAYS.
He When a woman says no , she is
always ready to be convinced.
She Yes ; and when a man says no ,
he only wants a litle persuading to
make him say : "I don't care if I do. "
Not Always.
"Distance lends enchantment to the
view , " remarked the man with the
quotation habit.
"It doesn't , " objected the man with
the quotation habit.
"It doesn't , " objected the contrary
person , "when you vhave to go the
distance ! "
Reputation Is Known.
"I say , a man of the same name as
mine has just been run in for fraud
by credit. Beastly awkward , you
know. "
"Don't alarm yourself , my dear fel
low. Everybody knows you can't get
money or credit at all. " Fliegende
Blatter.
All Off With Them.
"The Chinese government has is-
Bued an edict commanding all the
Chinese to cut off their queues. "
"But It has been a lifelong custom
with the Chinese to wear queues ! "
"Well , they will be ex-queused from
It from this time on. "
After Her Gum.
"Why did you ask Miss Rich to
change places with you at the dinner
table ? "
. "I left my gum under her chair and
I wanted to get it before we left the
dining-room. "
Almost a Necessity.
"I dee where a writer says some
snakes are useful. "
"Trained biting snakes are very
useful In prohibition territory. "
SUBURBAN FEUD IS DEADLY !
Pretty Little Garden Scratched Up by
Neighbor's Chickens Causes
Amusing Squabble.
"Yes , " sighed the suburban man ,
who had just moved in , "at the place
I've come from I had the prettiest lit
tle garden that ever bloomed until
my neighbor's chickens scratched the
roots up. "
"And did you complain ? " asked his
new acquaintance.
"I retaliated. I got a big cat that
son made mincemeat of his chickens. "
"What then ? "
"Wiry , the next I knew he had
bought a ferocious bulldog to watch
for my cat. " *
"H'm ! And did that end the
trouble ? "
"Oh , no ! I borrowed a * wolf from
an animal trainer to kill the bull
dog. "
"Gracious me ! What was the next
chapter in the bitter feud ? "
' There was none. I heard * that he
was about to purchase a tiger to kill
my wolf , and , as I couldn't afford
the price of an elephant to kill his
tiger , I thought it best to move. "
TAKING NO CHANCES.
Don I see that President Taft at
tends baseball games.
Dorothy They ought to let him unv
pire.
pire.Don
Don He'd know better than to da
that ; he Isn't ready to give up hi *
jov to the vice-president just yet.
Always Take Father's Advice.
"Why did you go home'before quit
ting time last night and leave all that
work to be done ? "
"I thought it was quitting time. "
"Thought it was quitting time ?
Why in blazes didn't you look at the
clock ? "
"My father told me that when I got
a job I should never look at the
clock. "
Goats. ,
.Rumor has it that Queen Wilhel-
mina will promote a goat colony In
eighter Alabama or Pennsylvania.
We don't suppose the colonized
goats will recognize any difference in
states there being no politics about
a goat.
But , really , we can't take any stock
In this goat story.
It sounds too much like a kid.
Not Yet.
"Well , now that you have succeeded
In mounting to a greater height than
any other aviator has reached , " his
wife begged , "won't you please give
it up and be satisfied to rest on your
honors ? "
"My honors ? " he replied. "I haven't
won any honors yet. Nobody has
given my name to a cigar. "
Her Foolish Fear.
"The trouble Is , dear , " she said
when he urged her to consent to be
his at once , "that I am afraid we
should not be able to live on your in
come. "
"Oh , that's no reason for putting It
off. Hardly any married man Is able
to get his wife to live on his Income
nowadays. "
Doubly Thankful ?
"Have a nice Thanksgiving thia
year , Uncle Josiah ? "
"Hain't had a more thankfuller one ,
by heck , for ten year ! "
"Don't say ! City cousins up to
share it with you , as usual , I sup
pose ? "
"Nope ! " Brownings Magazine.
How It Happened.
"I understand that while in South
America Puffkins ran his automobile
into a tree at high speed. Was he
seriously hurt ? " *
"Not so badly as he might have
been. You see Puffkins ran into a
rubber tree and bounced back. "
Greater Love Than This , Etc.
"What "would you do to prove your
love for me ? "
"Dearest , I will cook all your meals
when we are married. But what will
you do to prove your love for me ? "
"I will eat the meals you cook. "
The Bonds.
"So you wish , " asked the father of
the beautiful heiress , "to assume the
bonds of matrimony ? "
"Yes , " replied the titled foreigner ,
"if you will guarantee that they will
pay regular dividends. "
And Puzzled Still.
She ( to student ) But what are you
studying here ?
Student That's what I've been tryIng -
Ing to discover for four terms. "Oik.
' 'Li
Jt !
MILLIONS
EUXIR SENNA
FOR COLDS AND HEADACHES * INDIGESTION AND SOUR
STOMACH , GAS AND FERMENTATION , CONSTIPATION AND
BILIOUSNESS.WITH MOST SATISFACTORY RESULTS.
NOTE THE NAME
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO.
IN THE CIRCLE
ON EVERY PACKAGE OFTHE GENUINE
THE WONDERFUL POPULARITY OF THE GENUINE SYRUP
OF FIGS AND ELIXIR OF SENNA HAS LED UNSCRUPULOUS
MANUFACTURERS TO OFFER IMITATIONS. IN ORDER TO - ?
MAKE A LARGER PROFIT AT THE EXPENSE OF THEIR
\
CUSTOMERS. IF A DEALER ASKS WHICH SIZE YOU WISH.
OR WHAT MAKE YOU WISH , WHEN YOU ASK FOR
fYRUP OF FIGS AND ELIXIR OP SENNA , HE IS PREPAR-
WG TO DECEIVE YOU. TELL HIM THAT YOU WISH THE
GENUINE , MANUFACTURED BY THE CALIFORNIA FIG
SYRUP CO. ' ALL RELIABLE DRUGGISTS KNOW THAT
THERE IS BUT ONE GENOlNE AND THAT IT IS MANU-
FACTORED BY THE CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. ONLY
NOTE THE NAME
CAUFQtmA FtG SYRUPCQ
PRINTED STRAIGHT ACROSS. NEAR THE BOTTOM. AND IN
THE CIRCLE.NEAR THE TOP OF EVERY PACKAGE.OF THE
GENUINE. ONE SIZE ONLY , FOR SALE BY ALL LEADING MINIATURE PICTURE
DRUGGISTS. REGULAR PRICE co < PER BOTTLE. ' OF PACKAGE.
SYRUP OF FIGS AND ELIXIR OF SENNA IS ESPECIALLY ADAPTED TO THE NEEDS Of
tADlES AND CHILDREN. AS IT IS MILD AND PLEASANT. GENTLE AND EFFECTIVE , AND ;
ABSOLUTELY FREE FROM OBJECTIONABLE INGREDIENTS. IT IS EQUALLY BENEFICIAL ,
POR WOMEN AND FOR MEN. YOUNG AND OLD. FOR SALE BY ALL LEADING DRUGGIST
ALWAYS BUY THE GENUINE.
FIG SYRUP Co
A Christmas Criticism.
Ordlle Wright , discussing flying in
New York , said to a reporter :
"The French claim to make the
best machines , but our foreign order
books tell a different story.
"Our foreign order books give the
game away like the little Dayton boy
at the Christmas treat He got from
the tree at this treat a pair of trous
ers , and , waving them around his
head , he electrified the entire Sunday
school by shouting in a loud and Joy
ous voice :
" 'Oh , ma , these pants must be new.
Pa never had a suit like that"
Malady Worth Having.
"I can't understand my husband ,
doctor ; I am afraid there Is some
thing terrible the matter with him. "
"What are the symptoms ? "
"Well , I often talk to him for half
an hour at a time and when I get
through he hasn't the least idea what
I've been saying. "
"Don't worry any more about your
husband. I wish I had his gift. "
S'tray Stories.
Important fo Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA , a safe and sure remedy for
Infants and children , and see that it
Bears the
Signature
In Use For Over 30 "Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought.
Not the Type.
"I heard you were very much disappointed
in mother-in-law. "
pointed your - -
"Completely so. "
"In what way ? "
"Why , she's simply perfectl"
The next time you feel that swallowing
sensation , the sure sign of sore throat ,
gargle Hamlins Wizard Oil immediately
with three parts water. It will save you
days and perhaps weeks of misery.
There's one little satisfaction when
a man falls sick , it makes his wife re
pent of her ill treatment of him. Don't
work the game too often , however.
PILES CUBED IN 6 TO 14 DATS
Tonr druggist will refund money If PAZO OIKT-
MENT falls to cure any case of Itching , Blind ,
Bleeding or Protruding Flics in 0 to 14 day * . COo.
Life is full of ups and downs but
unfortunately most of us are down
more of the time than up.
Mrs. Wlnslow's Soothing : Syrnp.
Forchlldrcn teething , softens the game , reduces In-
There Is always poison in ' the
wound that is inflicted by a friend.
44 Bu. to the Acre
Is a. heavy yield , but that's what John Kennedy 0f
Edmonton , Alberta , Western Canada , got from 40
acres of Spring Wheat In 1910. Report !
trom other districts In that preY
inco showed other excel *
lent results such 8 i-
000 bushels of wBeaf
from 120 acres , or 331-8
bu.peracro. 25,80and40
bushel y leldn were nom *
erous. As high at 1E7
bushels of oats to tea
aero wore threshed from
Alberta fields In 1810.
The Silver Gup
at tbo recent Spokane
Fair was awarded to tb4
Alberta Government tor
Its exhibit of rainsgrassotanfl
vegetables. Jieportsof extllenl
yields for 1910 come also from
Saskatchewan and Manitoba la
Western Canada.
Free homesteads of X6O
acres , and adjoining pre
emptions of 16O acres ( at
83 portiere ) are to be baa
lu the choicest districts. . .
Schools convenient , cU-
xnate excellent , soli th
very best , railway * closti at
baud , building lumber
cheap , fuel easy to got and
reasonable in price , water
casllv procured , mixed ,
larrrilnjj a success.
Write as to bestplaco for set
tlement , settlers' low railway
rates , doscrlptiro Illustrated
"Last Best West" ( sent free oo ,
application ) and other Informa
tion , to Bup't of Immigration ,
Ottawa , Can.orto the Canadian
Government Agent. (88) (
E T. lclrao.315 ! Jacfaon SL.SL Pad , Hhw ,
J. M. MadKfaLin. Dm.tr 137\Mtrt3WuSA
( Use address nearest you. )
"I have used your valuable Cascaret *
and I find them perfect. Couldn't d < *
without them. I have used them fo * ,
some time for indigestion and biliousnesft
and am now completely cured. Recotnj
mend them to everyone. Once tried , yOt *
will never be without them in th
family. " Edward A. Marx , Albany , N.Y.-
v ,
Pleasant. Palatable , Potent , Taste Good.
Do Good. Never Slcken.Weaken or Gripe *
10c,25c. SOc. Never sold In bulk. Tbog
nine tablet stamped CCC. Guaranteed to
core or your money back. 329
Established 30 Years
FLORISTS
Floral emblems and cut flowers for all
occasion * . SIOUX CITY , IOWA'
RUPTURE CURE t ) in a few day *
without pain or a s6r- '
lical operation. Ho pay until curefl. Send
literature. DRS. WRAY & MAT5ETTET ,
Fanners Loan & Trust Bldg. . Sioux City ,
secured or fee returned. Fre § ,
PATENT ! examination of records. MlLOj
B. BTHVEKS & CO. . Ksiab. 186
853 Uth St. , Washington ; 260 Dearborn St. , ChicagS *
W. N. U.f SIOUX CITY , NO. 2-1911 * ,
What AOs You }
Do you feel weak , tired , despondent , have frequent head *
aches , coated tongue , bitter or bad taste in morning ,
"heart-burn , " belching of gas , acid risings in throat after
eating , stomach gnaw or burn , foul breath , dizzy spells ,
poor or variable appetite , nausea si times and kindred
symptoms ?
If you have any considerable ) number of the
Above symptoms you ore suffering from bilious
ness , torpid liver -with indigestion * or dyspepsia *
Dr. Pierce'a Golden Medical Discovery is made
vp of the most valuable medicinal principles
known to medical science for the permanent
cure of such abnormal conditions. It is a most
efficient liver invigorator , stomach tonic * bowel
regulator and nerve strengthener.
The "Golden Medical Discovery" is not a patent medicine or secret nostrum ,
full list of its ingredients being printed on its bottle-wrapper and attested
trader oath. A glance at these will show that it contains no alcohol , or harm
ful habit-forming drugs. It is a fluid extract made with pure , triple-refined
glycerine , of proper strength , from the roots of native American medical.
forest plants. World's Dispensary Medical Association , Props. , Buffalo , N. .
f.
f.a
W. L. DOUGLAS <
* 3.50 & 4 SHOES & FOR WOMEN MEN
BOYS * SHOES. $2.00 , $2.50 AMD $3.00. BEST IN THE WORLD.
If I could tafce yon into my large factories at Brockton , Mass. ,
and show you how carefully w L. Douglas shoes are made , the superior
workmanship and the high grade leathers used , you would then under
stand why Dollar for Dollar I Guarantee My Shoes to hold their
shape , look and fit better and wear longer than any other $3.00 , § 3.50 or
14.00 ehoea you can buy.
Do yon realize that my shoes hare been the standard for over 30
years , that I make and sell more $3.00 , $3.50 and $4.00 shoes than any I
other manufacturer In the United States ? 0 . _ President
Quality counts. It has made "W.L. Dong- * * ' m v . W
las shoes a household word everywhere.
{ * AHTIftM f i one psnnlno without W.L. Douglas TAIf ET MO dlQCTITII I ! *
fff iwiv name and price stamped OB the bottom. * * fmt IvW wWD91IIUIEii
XI TOOT dealer cannot ( apply you with W. U Donglu Shoes , write for Mall Order Caialop-
W. J > OVC I < A9,15 Spark St. . Brockton , &KU