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About The Falls City tribune. (Falls City, Neb.) 1904-191? | View Entire Issue (Dec. 30, 1904)
1iIf : ODD
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The ! Chumj
I IIc'll turned late ; her Interbicb
+ Carrie to him 11I(1' 1\ 8hoclc I
" } JUI'1t ye . young maul I Are yoU tlwate
. It's almost twelve Clack
t ' " 1 . eM. 811' . nu t-t hll IM-YOII ICC-
. Rhe' now 1111 hour 0SO
" ' nCCII yltling UII lilY lilt I , and I-
I tenlly coulllll't go "
. . "And arc rOil champ \ ( ' houg h ) to gel
F - Your hut In such IIII:1hIlJI ?
hereafter hung It III till' hall ;
I1 Don't k.p,1 , It III your la\l. "
t -Jll ; Mott In New Yotlc SIIII.
I Minister Challenged Congregation.
The Hev. WIlliam 1'ihbs of the
r Mount Rose Baptist church , colored , of
. , Homestead , Pa. , has announced that he
a' will no longer serve the congregutlon.
The pastor resigned , but the congregation .
gation forestalled him by discharging
him before his resignation was 1I1ade.
I There has been trouble between a
, " ' ' . faction in the congregation aud the
r , . ' pastor for about a month , and one
night , after prayer , meeting , a memo
r " , her of the flock arose and moved that
the services of salaried men be dis-
t , pensed with. The salaried men arc
the minister and the janitor. The motion .
tion carried amid much talk.
The pastor became excited and , ,
springing to his feet , resigned This ;
not attracting any attention , he peeled !
oft his coat and announced that he
was ready for all comers , no weight
, harred. As the pastor resembles , Jim
I .1etrrles in build , the congregation
t. . _ _ . . fought it out among themselves , and
the minister retired from active service .
ice with colors flying
Will Walt as Did Jacob
James Jones of Broadland , arrested
nt Salem , S. D. , a day or two ago on
a warrant charging him with eloping
) , with the 14. 'ear-ohl daughter of 1\11'
and Mrs. Gorsuch , was before Judge.
Geddis for examinallon.
After n conference of the parents
p with the accused , and on the representation .
j ) sentatlon that the two were desperately .
j Jy In love and would marry In "spite
I at lock and bars and the objection of
" . stern parents , " the father of the child :
j said iC Jones would walt two years he
t could have her ; that Jones Is "a good
man-honest and industrious , and is
. all right , but too old for Ella. " She
is [ 14 and Jones Is 28.
Mr. Gorsuch asked to have the action .
tlon dismissed at his cost which was
done , and Jones was released Cram
custody and the girl returned home
with her parents.
/With . : _
. " Stood Still for Six Hours.
r/ : " Ralph Leslie , an actor , who said his
home is in Marion , Ohio , bet commercial .
ciaJ travelers in the lobby oC the Erie .
hotel in Dunlelrle , N. Y. , $ . \0 \ that he '
, could stand without moving n muscle :
until 6 o'clock the next morning The
bet was taken , and It was agreed that
If anyone shoved him 01' otherwise
disturbed him he was to take the
mone ' .
It was 10:25 o'clock when the Let
was made. Leslie struck 11 position In [
the middle of the corridor and stayed
there motionless until : :10 : a. m. , when
one oC the travelers , playflllly scuffling
. _ with another , struck one of the silent
- poser's feet , moving It. Leslie forthwith .
with the 14-year-old daughter of 1\11'
with quit and took the money. Witnesses .
. , l\ , nesses declare he had not visibly
1 , ' moved a muscle for six hours and five
Lover of 75 Is a Sprinter.
The angry father of Luella Lantz , a
- pretty Darbour county ( W. Va ) girl ,
16 years old , drove forty miles In put-
- suit or his daughter and Thomas
Heather ! , .15 years old , her lover , who
eloped from their home and drove to
Grafton. The Rev. G. W. Dent oC Sl.
. Panl's 1\1. E. church Grafton , married
. thew while they were seated In the
I. ' buggy ; , and as soon as the ceremony
was completed : they started on their
return home , The patent of the girl
bride arrived only n few minutes too
Into to stol the ceremony. They started -
ed 011 their fort.ml1o honeymoon
without the blessing or Mr Lantz ,
the aged , groom driving with ono arm
as they BtrtrlUlt homeward
- - -
bled from Excess of Joy
Death tram shoe \ caused by too
lively It satisfaction befell M Alexis
Guilloflt one of the assistants to the .
ma'ol' ' of Dotlrt ' oil , In the environs ot
'ontalnchlcall ; , France ; , where ! ho wits
indulging ill his favorite sport of
shooting , the other dnr. Two hares
started tlnlllltaneo\lsly ! und 1\1 , Oul1.
lorlt discharged his two barrels as
, quicle as lightning and had the delight
of seeing the two animals drop. nut
he fell himself at the same moment
He had been subject to n heart affec-
lion for 1\ long time past , anti the !
violence of his emotion had been too
much for him. Every effort was made
to restore animation , but . In vain. IIe
had died or joy-
- - -
Sample of English Fog
When ; a very dense fog settled over
the Thames valley 1\ few Sundays ago ,
and most densely over London , It im
posed a complete silence on animal
life. London was Itself as silent us
the grave , for all traffic was stopped ,
and as on Sunday traffic t of any kind
is reduced to a minimum , the great
city- was almost as still as a country
village at midnight. The streets and
even the river were almost without a
sOllnd , for not a single tug was moving
on the 1'hames. In the country no
IIII'd uttered a sOllnd ; they all sat still ,
silent anll moping.
Rescued Exhausted Deer.
A 11 leer attempted to swim across
Pennpseenas&ee lalee. a body of water
near the village of Norway , Me. . but
encountered ice of considerable thickness .
ness when 100 yards from the shore.
The animal broke the ice before him
for another 100 yards before he became .
came exhausted. Persons on the shore
seeing his predicament rowed to his
rescue dragging him Into the boat In
such a helpless condition that he made
absolutely no resistance.
Divining Rod Was Right.
Patrick nohbln , who is said to be
able to locate water veins from the
surface : of I he earth by means of the
famous dlvlnlll rOIl , marked a spot
for a I1il1dale , N. H" man as a favorable .
able place to dig a well. Imagine the
surprise ) of the owner when six feet
below the surface he found the wall
of an old well which had beell filled.
No one In Hinsdale Is able to recall
that a well ever existed , at the point
in question. '
- - -
Derrick Is Immense
, With the putting ) up of th © last of
the eight great pillars ) In the cathe
dral ] of St. .John the Divine , New York
will lose one of its wonders. Of the
hundreds who have seen the derrick
which has lifted the huge stone columns .
limns , few know that it is probably the
largest ever erected The two sticks
of Oregon lIne ) composing It are 98
feet tall , and the bottom of the "head"
of the derrick is 9G feet from the
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Horses Were Well Trained.
A pair of horses showed remarkable
training at Meriden , Conn. , Saturdar.
They wern being driven along a wood
road , when the driver was suddenly
taken ill and fell from his spat : Ho
was killed by the fall , and the reins
received a sudden jerk which hrOlight
the horses to a standst111 The man's
body was found twelve hours later he-
tween the wheels , but the horse had
not moved ( luring that entire time.
His Imagination Too Vivid
A workman on the Siberian rallwa ; '
was accidentally locked Into a refrigerator .
eratoI' car and was afterward found
dead. Imagining that. he was being
slowly frozen to death , he had recorded .
ed his sufferings with a piece oC chant
on the floor. The refrigerating appa-
ratus , however ! , was out of order , and
the temperature in the car bad not
fallen below 50 degroul Fahrenh911.
throughout the journey . .
, . .
Mr , Tlmmld-"I don't think thero'
any use In my offering mf hand to
Miss Coy ; sho's so indifferent "
Mr. Wise = 'Indifferent ? IIavo you
said anything to her ?
M.r. Tlmmhl-No , why ?
Mr. Wlse-"l'1l bet 'ou'll find her
hlllftrerenco Is on n par with that of
the convivial gent who says : 'I don't
care It I do ' "
Lacked a Lawyer's Facility.
Lawyer to wltness-Nevcr mind
what you think , we want facts here.
'l'ell liS where ) 011 first met this
Woman wltJwsR-Cnn't anSWer It. It
the court duesn't care to hear what 1
tlinle there's 110 use questioning me ,
for 1 am not 1\ lawyer and can't tan
without thll1llng.-lIoston llulletin
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' , ; ,
Mamle-'Taln't thel' clothes what
males timer man , Jlmm ' .
Jlmm ' -What ! Say , did youa ever
have yer \ clothes swiped when yous
was 111 swimmln' ?
A Changed Woman. .
" \'ell , well , " said the returned traveler .
eler "nnd so you are married now.
It seems ollly yesterday since you left .
school. How time does fly ! "
"Yes , " replied 1\1rs. YOllngey , "only
a short time ago I never clipped any
thing from the papers but poems , and
now I clip nothing hilt recipes. "
- - -
Uncle .10sh-Did you notice that fel
IeI' with side whiskers I1n' n monocle ?
: Aunt lIettYes , I s'pose he jest
wears It becllz it's fashionable.
Uncle JOMh-Yes , but I was jest
I wonderin' why they never made It
fashionahle to wear side whiskers jest
on one side. '
- - -
, "Hello , Ragsey ! ' said the first newsboy .
boy , sarcastically , "L didn't see yer at
de Astorbllt weddin' last night. "
"No , " replied the other. "I wuz
all ready to go , hut mo hloomln' valet
didn't show up In time to mallnycure
mo fingernais.-Philadellhlll ! ) Press
- - -
Too Much to Expect.
"See here , landlord , must I lilt here
forever before I get the half chicken
that I have ordered ? "
, "Oh , no , sir ! I'm only waiting tilt
IOmebody ; comes and orders the other
lalf. or course , 1 can't kill a haIr a
chicken ! " -J. liegendc maetter.
Those Hind Feet
First Farmer-Thet's not the way to
ride a mule ; why don't yer set farther
. Second Farmer-Sa , don't J know
which end of this here mule 1 want
tel' keep on ther ground ? -Philadcl.
Not All Accounted for.
Gerald-"Therc's a fool born every
Geraldlne-"But that would b. onl1
sixty an hour
_ , .r-A
SMOKEHOUSE IN A BARREL
Homemade Contrivance That Will
Give Good' Result ,
M. ] W. 'r.-PlonR Jlttbllah It 11Mcr\1" \
Ion t of 1l sutall , CtUh11) Bmfllcc1IO\IH ! .
lIltnhlc for farmer to smoke 1& nw
earns , etc.
A large cask 01' barrel may he IIsOIi ( P
for smol\lllg sll1nll quantity or moat.
1'0 make thlH effective , n small JIll
should be dug , and n lint stone or 1\
brick llnc'll across It , upon which the
edge or the cask wilt rest , Halt the
lIlt Is helleat the barrel and haIr Is
outside . The head and bottom \ mny
be removed , 0n \ hole colt he cut In
the bottom n little larger than the
portion ) or the pit beneath the cnak
The head or cover IR removed while
he t hams are belllg hllllg upon ) cross
sticks , I1S shown In the IIhlRtmtlon
The cross sticks rest upon ) two cross
. nrR made to ImRII through holes bored
III the sll1es of thin cask , The hood 19
then laid upon ) the cash and covered
with moist sacks to confine the smolo.
Live coals are pill Into the pit outside
oC the cask , and the tire IR fell with
damp corn cobs , hal'llWoo chi VB , 01'
l I' '
1'r r ,
Barrel Smoke House
fine hrllsh. The lIlt iR covered with a
fiat stone by which the fire nutty bo
reglllntcd , and It Is removcd when
necessary to add more fllcl.-Montrcal
. . N.-Can you tell me how to kill
out quack gmSH. I wa ! told how to
kill out quack grass. I was told that
hllclewheat wOllld do' It , hut It don't
Some Hay flax will. Please let 11I0
Imow what you think
The growing of buckwheat or flax
on land infested with quack grass certainly .
tainly will not kill out this perslstont
weed unless other Steps are taken.
The first thing to do with such land
Is to plow ) it shallow in hot weather.
h arrow or cultivate once or twice
more before the end or the season
to drag lip as much aH possible oC the
need , RO that It may ' bo dried ollt.
The next year the land may he sown
to bucie'vheat or any other close grow
Ing crop which will crowd out and pre
vent the vigorous dovelppment of the
weed , but I thing it would be prefer'
able to use a root crop ) on the land
and trust to the thorough cultivation
which the roots should receive , to des
troy the quack grass , It any showed
A Foundation That Cracked.
F. .1. II-A stone foundation or a
house standing In heavy clay lifted
and cracked last winter 'rho : .ills :
are built from solid rock lip. How
can a repetition of this be provented.
By the description ) you give of your
foundation the cause or the lifting and
cracking must he for the want of
drainage. It the wall sits on solid '
rock It wOllld not heave by the frost
unless the water Is allowed to stand
In the foundation and freeze. It the
wall wel'o properly drained it should
not craclc. By laying n tile drain
around the outside oC the wall and at
the holtom , It should remove all the
standIng water and prevent the walls ! :
from being lifted ( by the frost.
First Hog-It Is singular that those
young lam ubs have so little rense.
Second Hog-Very. It Is shocking
to see them wastin > i : time In Idle trh'
ollty when It might be devoted to eat'
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