McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, July 10, 1884, Image 6

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    HELIOTftOJPiSE , H '
O memories ! g9lden.wlth thejllght
Of youthful'happy dreaming1,41
"Why come from out the far off past , '
Where naught was real , but seeming ?
WhyDring from out thy store-house now
Hopes that we deemed had perished
That loner ago were burled deep-
Hopes all too fondly cherished ?
Memories of sunny spots we loved ,
Ere life had lost its beauty ,
Memories that haunt us 'gainst our will ,
As love gives place to duty.
The finer thoughts and fancies born ,
Ere carklng care that-found us ,
Theyrlse from out the misty past ,
And weave their spell around us.
We twine our hopes round forms off clav ,
That fade beneath pur grasping ,
And death , relentless , claims the hand
Our own the while is clasping.
To-night we linger In'the ' post-
To-morrow we shall waken .
To life's stern duties , and'our stand
In the front ranks be taken.
0 memories 1 fragrant of the past
A perfume sweet like roses , '
Floats , out with every dreamy thought
Which retrospect discloses. '
We wander in the sunny spots
Where we.'asjlovers wandered ,
Again repeat the loving words ,
O'er which our hearts long pondered.
But why recall these fleeting dreams , "
Of those who've passed life's portal ,
The hopes that perished In their birth ,
Hopes that we deemed immortal ?
The faint , sweet perfume of a flower ,
Like rose and Illy blended ,
A withered spray of heliotrope ,
Has called up dreams long ended.
[ Lllla N. Cushman In Chicago Sun.
"Hello , old fellow-back-so soon ? "
"Yes , " replied Colonel Mulebury ,
whom a friend had addressed , "and J
thank all of the combined powers of de
liverance that I succeeded in getting
back at all. Let's stop'in here and gel
some of old Tom's rye. "
The colonel , with the bright bannei
of high hopes blazing in the sunlight o !
enterprise , had gone to a remote sec
tion of Arkansaw to establish a news
paper which , as he expressed it , shoulc
paralyze the natives.
"Here's to you , " said the .colonel
"I believe that I once heard you ex
press yourself favorably concerning th (
project of electrifying the country witl
a modern journal , established in one o :
nature's unutilized places. Take th (
advice of an abused fool and desist. J
left here full of energy , and came bacl
lame and with an appetite satiated witt
disgusting adventure. I loaded mj
printing material on a wagon , and aftei
a week's drive over a road which , com
pared with other roads , is as a nighfc
mare compared with a pleasant dream
reached the Red Deer neighborhood. ]
was greeted with suspicion by the pee
pie of the village , but I attributed this
to their shyness. I engaged board in t
box called a hotel , where I was visitec
by many of the leading citizens.-
" 'Who tole you that he was a hanker
in' airter a newspaper up here ? ' askec
Patsy Simmons , chair bottomer and jus
tice of .the peace.
" 'Nobody , 'squire , ' said thatyou wen
thirsting "for -paper , but knowing thi !
to be a highly intellectual community
1 naturally supposed that you wanted i
" 'Yes but dont. I
, we run this cur
munity , an' I'd like to see myse'f a let
thi' o' a editor come hear an' rob me o
the fruits o' all these years o' toil an
trouble ; so , frien' , the best thing yei
ken do is , ter put yer led nails an
thrashin1 masheen back into , the wagii
an' _ drive , the pearter the better , ter i
deestrickTwhaf the sun ain't ap1 tei . hot. We're gwine to hav <
some powerful hot weather here , an
from the look o' your hide , yer ain'i
uster no sich. '
" 'I was determined not to be fright
ened by such idle threats , and I toll
" "
" 'Yes , thought'I "would.1
" 'Good , quiet place. I've seed manj
a man make his home here ; but go 01
with jer rat-killin' ef yer must. Th <
bench has done give yer its 'dinion. Nt
more ter say. The bench ain't nc
slouch. It Uon't run all over the neigh
borhood tryin' to git folks to listen tei
it1 and he took his departure , leaving
me somewhat disturbed in mind , and f
trifle uneasy in body.
"The best people in the place en
couraged me , and without further conference , -
ference with the justice of the peace , ]
rented a very small house and began
work on my paper. The magistrate
did not come around again. I decided
that he had softened toward me. One
night , AS I sat in the office writing an
editorial on the financial condition oi
the country , I suddenly felt a dig in
my side , so unrestrained that I thought
several of iny ribs were broken. Spring
ing to my feet , 1 looked around , but
could see no source from whence the
blow had come. I went outside and
walked around the house , but saw nc
one. I tried to persuade myself that it
hod been a mere fancy , but hang it ,
my ribs were too sore for any such sup
position. I returned to my work with
a loaded pistol lying on the table , and
occasionally 1 would nervously look
around the gloomy apartment. Finally
my fears subsided , and I again became
interested in my work , when anothei
punch , very nearly in the same anato
mical locality , sent me sprawling on
the floor. This time I yelled. I couldn't
help it. I yelled inside of the house
and I yelled outside. I yelled until my
neighbors , alarmedjby my cries , ran
to the scene of mysterious action. We
made an extended search , but no
one could be found. I had moved my
bed to the office , and at last
I extinguished my light and lay
down. I had just fallen into an'un-
comfortable doze , when 'whack' some
thing struck me across the breast. ]
yelled and yelled , but no one came ,
while something continued to pound
me with increasing vigor. I drew the
cover up to protect my head , and
allowed the pounding to proceed. 1
thought of tne pistol , but could sec
nothing. I didn't know where to aim ,
but I drew it out. The something
struck It from my hand and the devilish
thing was discharged , burying a bullet
in my thigh. Then I did yell. Oh ,
how howled. The neighbors came
again , and we looked around , but could
not find the marauder. I y wound was
so painful that 1 had to sendjfdr a physi
cian. He came and gouged out the
ball. I suspected the justice of the
peace , and I expressed my suspicion ,
but- several men who hnrried to his
house came back and reported that the
old fellow was safe in bed.
"I had my bed moved from the office
the next day , but a printer that I had
employedra fearless fellow , .sleptthere
on the floor. Nothing troubled him ,
which tended to deepen the mystery.
"One mornjng while I was eating my
breakfast , the comity clerk came in and
exclaimed : 'Mr. Editor , allow me to
congratulate you. '
' 'Thank ' I and
you , replied , taking
his hand I shook it warmly , for I
thought he was complimenting the ap-
earance of my paper , the Weekly
cream , which , considering the amount
of yelling I had done , was appropriate
ly named.
" 'When does it come off P' the clerh
"I don't understand you. When
does what come off ? '
' " ! 'attempted to walk away , but the
judge stopped me. ; 'Hole on , sah , ' he
said. 'Your untimely attempt at with
drawal from this awful scene convinces
wise men that you are guilty. " Don'i
try to sneak awayr 'from this abused
young creeter , sahVfdr. the handoi
law , the hand of just indignation an
the terrible hand of a father's revenge
will fall upon yon. Stand head , sah ,
and take what comes. I wan't sc
mightily pleased with , yer looks at first ,
an' I don't see how this young ga'
could give you hsr love , but , howsom-
ever , that ain't the question at issue
What we wanter know , sah , is how an
you goin1 to atone for the destructioi
what you have created ? '
"My dear'sir , I.have caused no de
struction. I speak truly when I tei
you that I never saw this girl before to
day. "
"Oh , colonel , how .could you ? ' bul
she broke down and hid her face in th <
tails of her father's browns jeans coat
.which she lifted with great emotion.
" 'Thar' Puss , don't cry , ' said hei
father. 'Don't cry , child , fur he ain'i
the arnly man in the worl' . Let mi
take you home whar yer ken go in ye ]
own room an' nus yer grief. Don't trj
to make him go agin' his will. Thar
now , come on. "
' "Why , your marriage ! "
" ' ? ' 1 . . '
'Marriage > gasped. 'Marriagi
to whom ? '
" 'To Miss Puss Simmons , daughter
of Patsy Simmons , justice of thi
peace. '
" 'Oh , jl see , you are trying to jok <
me. '
' "No , I'm not. Look here , ' am
handing me my own paper , he pointe (
out the following paragraph.
" 'The editor of this paper and Mis :
Puss Simmons , the most' charming
young lady in Bluff county , areengage (
to be married. It is hardly fashion
able , among Gentiles , to publish en
gagements , but the editor does so , de
siring to impress upon the minds of th (
people of this community that he has
come here to stay. '
"I could not reply ; I was. stupefiec
and I sat gazing at the paper. I ares <
with difficulty and limped to the office
The printer was not there. I went bacl
to the 'hotel' and was soon after waitec
upon by 'Squire Simmons- and hii
daughter , the homeliest woman1 ! evei
" 'Mornin' , sir ; mornin' , ' said thi
" 'I looked at him , unable to speak i
" 'Puss wanted me ter come with he ]
an' see her intended. Hope I find ye ;
well. ' , . -
< " 'Yes do much that
, we so hope yor
are well , ' Puss said , coming - up am
attempting to put her hand on my arm
" 'Look out , miss ; look out. I don'
understand the game you are trying t (
play. '
' "Why , colonel1 ! Puss exclaimed
'Do you pretend not to understand me
and that , too , after coming to see m <
unbeknowns to pap , because yoi
thought he didn't like you ? Oh , colonel
nel ! and before I could get out9f- the
way , the devilish creature threw hei
arms around me. "
" 'Great goodness , miss , you don'l
mean to say that I ever met you be
fore ? "
" 'Now don't git skeered , for paj
promised me that he wouldn't hurt you
Pap didn't like you at first , but when ]
went to him and put my head on hu
shoulder so affectionate like , he gave ir
at once , didn't you pap ? "
" 'Yes , for when my natural flesh and
blood-loves a man , it mokes no differ
ence ef we had fit each other with mor
tal weepins , I would fling down my
spell an' take up a smile. " My good
people , ' he continued , to several par
ties who had entered , -'youmust s'cuze
the tender picture what you are lookin' '
on at present. My darter , an' yer all
know what a lovin1 creeter she is , an'
this editor , the smartest man in this
community , has plighted their faith ,
an' at an1 airly day will jine nan's an'
heaits in marriage. Don't say a word ,
editor'gentlyshoving me back when
I stepped forward and attempted to
speaK. 'Don't say a word , for these
fren's o' mine know what it is to be
bashful like under the influence o' de
voted love. Not a word outen yer , an'
I want yer to understand that if it is
yer heart's desire , an' yer have so ex
pressed yerself , to be united at onct ,
why I won't make no kick. I know ,
gentlemen , that it is hard to part with
a young creeter like this , but'when she
gives her love , the straight and un
scathed ticket o' her affections , ter a
man what is in every way worthy ter be
her husband an' my son-in-law , why I
give in at onct. "
"By this time quite a crowd had col
lected. I was so confused that it was
some tune before I could speak , and
even then I felt that my silence had but
given approval to the rascal's words.
At last ! said : My newly found friends ,
I hope that you will give me a chance
to correct this terrible mistake. I
pledge you my word that I never saw
this young lady until to-day. I am not
the author of that disgusting engage
ment notice which appears in my papei
to-day , but it is the trickery of a schem
ing "printer , the vile fool ol * this man
here , who outrages- justice by mas
querading as justice'Of the peace.1
" 'Feller citizens do you hear that ? '
exclaimed old Simmons.
" ; Yes , hear that ? ' whimpered
Miss'puss , 'and that , too , after gairiin1
my heart's affections. Will'my friends
desert'me in this , my soul's-darkest
hour ? ' and she put her head on rascally
father's shoulder and sobbed. .
"I call on the mea what looted
me,1 said ojd Simmons in a broken
voice , 'ter see the wrong righted.
Darter , don't tar yer-tender - heart with
this weepiu.1 Stan' up and face him
like a man,1 and indeed slje did , jm-
oressing me more with the idea that
she was .a man , a.yery nngentiemanly
man , than that she was a woman.
' " 'This is mighty strange affair , ' said
the county judge , who had put in an ap
pearance. 'I don't know that nothin'
like it ever happened of ore'in my juris
diction , but the strangeness of it don't
tend in no way to-excuse the , man , fur
when a man wins the love of a woman ,
if thar , an' it kain't be helped I don't
like to interfere in matters of this sort ,
but I'll be blamed if this county is goin'
to stand quietly by an1 seVone of its
fairest darters imposed on. I'm a
father myself , and when that red-headed
feller from over the swamp gained the
love of my darter Luco an1 then' tried
ter run away , why , I follered him'with
a shotgun , an1 compelled him ter seek ,
refuge in her lovin1 arm. This here edi-
tor man come amongst us thinkin1 that
he knew it all. He thought that we
was slouches and yaps. . The fust tiding
he done in his paper was ter gin me
advice about the financial affairs of
this here county. This , feller citizens ,
is a privilege that I don't allow no1
man , an' especially ter ! a stranger. I ,
believe he's guilty. I know in reason
that he has gained the 'factions of this
here young creetur , for a woman ain't
the pusson ter take this lessen ,
something has been said. I think that
I have about'as mnch influence'in this
county as any other man , an' blame ef I
don't raise the war cry again this chap
an1 make him marry the gal. '
' "Oh , thank you for them kind
words , ' Puss replied , lifting her red
eyes. 'You have a kind heart , judge ,
and know ivhat it "is to be deceived. I
know wimmen air weak and often love
when they should hate , but oh , we
can't help it. Although my darlin'
here has deceived me ; yet I love him ,
oh , I love him , and I will sink down
into an untimely grave if I do not mar-
ly him. '
" 'Do not take me away,1 she im
plored. 'Do not let him pass forever
from my sight. ' "
" 'No , 'squire , don't take her away,1
said the judge. 'In seemin1 justice to
man , a father is sometimes unjust to
his darter. We all ken see that her
heart is broke , an' if possible we shall
see it mended. Bring the pa'r to my
office an' I will marry them. '
" 'Oh , delightful love , ' exclaimed
Pass. 'Oh , blissful .union ! Oh , noble
judge that"you air. Darling,1 turning
to me , and I g ew sick. I contem
plated flight , for I saw that the old
jedge was desperately in earnest.
"Come , " said the high official , and
he took hold of my shoulder. -l
" 'In a moment ; allow me to wash
my face and hands. "
" 'Certainly , but be quick. '
' "I'll be ' and
quick , springing
through the doorway , I bounded over
the ground like a deer. Oh , but I flew
I was followed for several miles , but
my fright gave me wonderful speed.
After traveling two days without a
thing to eat , I stopped at a cross road
store , and while devouring a can of
cove oysters , I heard a familiar voice
in an adjoining room. I moved up close
'to the thin .partition , and heard the fol
lowing :
"Yes , he went out and started a
paper. An old justice of the peace
didn't want him there , and concluded
to frighten him away" so while the
editor was at supper , the 'squire went
to the office and cut a large
hole in the wall. That night ,
while * the editor was writing ,
the old fellow slipped up , and with
a hoopole punched the gentleman. It
almost scared'him to death , but he
finally went to work again. The old
man gave him another punch and he
howled and ran out. The 'squire
crawled under the house and escaped
observation. After awhile the editor
went to bed and the 'squire lammed
him black and blue with the pole. He
drew a pistol from under his pillow and
the 'squire accidentally knocked the
thing out of his hand. It went off and
would have wounded him seriously had
not the ball passed through several
quilts. The device failed , and the
old fellow tried another game. He
gave me ten dollars to slip in a no
tice announcing the engagement of the
editor and Miss Puss , the old square's
d aughter. I laid around out of sight , but
keeping my eye on the situation. The
old man took his girl to the editor and
they had a lively time. The county
judge , who did not understand the1
joke , declared that the editor should
marry the girl well , in short the edi
tor hopped out , and regardless of his
wounded leg , ran .like a greyhound.
Don't blame him for running , for she is
the ugliest girl in the state. The of
fice , you see , has fallen to me , and as I
served the old 'squire a good turn , he ,
is going to allow me to run a paper. "
I contemplated mashing the printer's
head , but he was a powerful fellow. L
was4 afraid he might take me back and
deliver me to the judge. Give me some
more -rye , Tom. Young fellow , don't
go out in the mountains and start a
newspaper. "
"I won't. Here's to you. " [ Opie-
Read in New York Mercury.
How to Regain a Husband's Love.
All onto wn ( Pa. ) Chronicle.
A young woman in Easton who
thought she was losing her husband's
affection , went to a seventh daughter
of a seventh daughter for a love pow
der. The mystery woman told her :
"Get a raw piece of beef , cut flat ,
about half an inch thick. Slice an
onion in two and rub the meat on both
sides with it. Put on pepper and salt
and toast it on each side over a red coal
fire. Drop on it three lumps of butter
and two sprigs of parsley and get him
to eat it. " The young wife did so , and
her husband loved her ever after.
* Gladstone In Private Life.
Upplncott's Magazine. - * .
I saw Mr , Gladstone first when he
was about sixty years of age. Happen
ing to ait very near him at a ' dinner
party , I had.a good opportunity of ex
amining his appearance closely and of
making mental notes of his conversa
tion. I had heard him 'called "a
sloven , " but it struck me that her was
even scrupulously neat , from the arrangement
rangement of ,1ns"alrpady , thinned locks ,
to that of the' small bouquet in his
button-hole ; and during the number of
years that Iliad the good fortune of
seeing him from time to time the same
dare was always apparent. The most
noticeable point about'Mr. Gladstone's
physique is his' immense head , the ex
treme development ofthe , superciliary
ridge giving his dark eyes doubly the
appearance of being deeply set. I had
seen many photographs of the states
man , in'all of which the likeness was
striking , but all of which more or less
exaggerated peculiarities and gave the
impression of a remarkably plain , al
most a repulsive person ; whereas at the
period to which 1 refer he was really a
handsome man ; the women all thought
so , and with their 'hero ' worship there
mingled a good deal of personal ad
miration. Mr. Gladstone affected no
mysterious reserve in speaking of the
political questions of the day ; he was
frank and evidently sincere. While
avowedly the champion of the people ,
he occasionally made remarks of a
startlingly conservative character. I
heard him say , when some one present
of ' 'weeding the
spoke lightly upper
House of the spiritual Lords. "
> "No , no ; not one bishop could be
spared. "
He thought that in schools "those
youths should be class mates whose
similar position in society wonld bring
them in contact later in life. "
He remarked quite earnestly to a lady
sitting beside him : "I am sorry you
like Cromwell ; I like Charles the
'First. "
He spoke with affectionate reverence
of the present royal family , evidently
appreciating not only their public position -
( tion , but their private virtues ,
j His manner , nevertheless , had a re
publican simplicity , and when a chord
was touched which the inalienable
rights of man aibrated , his eye kindled
and flashed , t while his tongue poured
, forth an eloquent appeal , or protest , as
'it might , be , and he showed himself a
'true liberal. .
, Mr. Gladstone is loved by Tiis friends
! as jirmly as he is hated by his enemies.
[ In society he is very popular , in a great
measure because he assumes no air of
superiority , is entirely free from arro
gance , and never monopolizes the con
versation. He listens , patiently and
even politely to a bore , never showing
weariness. He is not at all unwilling
that another star should shine where he
, shines , and no diversion of attention
from himself ever appears to
awake his uneasiness. I was
present on one occasion at a table at
which the famous but somewhat eccen
tric Prof. Blackie sat next but one to
Mr. Gladstone. The professor , who is
very energetic and vociferous , brandished -
dished his arms while he was speaking ,
and that so wildly that a lady who was
seated between the two distinguished
men had more than once to draw sud
denly back to avoid his clinched hand
striking her face. He interrupted Mr.
Gladstone's remarks several times , the
interruption being borne with perfect
equanimity and met by a smile , not of
superiority , buc of indulgenc3 for the
"God-intoxicated . " The
- man. subject
under discussion was one which both
men had much at heart Greece and
its modern explorers.
Mr. Gladstone told me that he ap
proved of every one doing a portion of
manual labor a practice which he has
always observed himself and encour
aged in those about him. Tp this habit
a good deal of the vigor of his old age
is doubtless due.
Speaking of physical powers , he once
said to me :
"I think I preserve my strength by
husbanding it ; if I am obliged to sit up
late at night , I always rise proportion
ately late the following morning ; and
I never do , and never have done , a
stroke of work on Sunday. "
On another occasion we were discus
sing the use and abuse of wine. He
said , on being questioned
' . 'When I am at mental work , I re
quire and take a certain portion of
wine ; but I can , and do , work hard
with my hands while only taking
water. "
It was generally at dinner parties
that I met the prime minister , and I
noticed that he was a very moderate
eater and drinker , yet without the least
affectation of abstemiousness.
The topic of conversation at one din
ner party which I remember was Bis
marck. For a time Mr. Gladstone was
silent , then suddenly turned to me , say
ing :
"If Cavour had had the same theatre
as Bismarck he would have been a
more distinguished man. "
About his sixty-eighth or sixty-ninth
year the great statnsman began to look
old ; he did not stoop , his step had not
lost firmness , but his face became deep
ly lined , furrowed and careworn , his
eye less bright , though it could still
flash with suddenly lit fire.
As a man , there is none better living ;
his whole career in private life' has
been one of austere virtue.
The Girls and Tight Lacing.
Clara Belle , In Cincinnati Enquirer.
A girl who has just returned from
London , tells me that , in the health ex
hibition there , one of the exhibits was
meant to depict the horrors of tight
lacing. A waxen figure was subjected ,
for the purpose of divulging the secrets
of the ladies' torture chamber , to a
compression to the girth which a woman
may , with proper self-respect , measure
around the waist. The suffering of the
dummy , inaudible , save for the creak
ing of the machinery , which , in the
forcible compression of the waist , might
well be mistaken for groans , were quite
terrible in their realism , but the female
spectators laughed instead of being in
structed. The fact is that the old cur
mudgeons who take corsets as a text for
sermons against us are very far behind.
Injuriously tight squeezing of the waist
is rare , indeed , nowadays. "The com
ing man and woman , " says Die Lewis ,
"will be just as large at the waist as at
any other part of the body. " What an
old fool ! Did he ever see a Fiji Island
woman ? I have. She had never been
compressed by so much as a calico
wrapper , and yet her waist bad a goodly
taper to it. Pretty soon Lewis will be
demanding legs as big at the ankles as
at the calves. And when that same
ness of outline is produced by bigness
of ankle ratherjthan smallness of calf ,
I hope he will be satisfied , for surely
the owner won't.
The New Pension Office.
The Century.
The government is erecting on Judi
ciary square , in Washington , a large
structure for the exclusive u e of the
pension office , for which congress has
already appropriated $44.0,000. It is
four hundred ieet .long and two hun
dred feet wide , the .height being three
stories , with a vast central sky-light
rising a full story above the roof of the
third story and lighting the court. Thereof
roof of theMnclosed court is supported
by two rows of enormous columns.
This court , with its triple colonnade on
all sides , promises to be the best archi
tectural feature of the edifice , which
from the exterior suggests a , temporary
exhibition building , by the cheapness
of its material and decorations. The
entire structure is of brick , and the
cornices and frieze are of terra cotta.
Between the first and second stories a
yellow band , or frieze , three feet in
height , is carried entirely round the
building , and on this are represented
scenes from military and naval life
infantry , artillery and cavalry on the
march , wounded men , sailors in boats ,
etc. This much at-least can be said in
praise of the figures , that they are not
the stereotyped soldiers and sailors ol
the picture nooks , but seem to have
been designed by some one who has
seen actual warfare. They are too
small , however , to be effective. The
building is not yet far advanced , but
one or two things are clear : it will
have the beauty of usefulness , which is
lacking in so many of our public
structures , and it will bo a wide de
parture from the classical ideas that
, jong dominated our government archi
tects. For the purpose of providing a
large number of well-lighted and well-
ventilated office-rooms , the plan seems
an excellent one. The architect is
Gen. Meigs , formerly quartermaster-
general of the army.
The Convention Reporter.
Cincinnati Commercial-Gazette.
In great modern gatherings , like the
late Chicago convention , there is no
place more interesting than that dedi
cated to the journalists. There are
wit and humor , quick joke and light
ning repartee , keen and merciless criti
cism , intuitive judgments irreverently
proclaimed , and responsive apprecia
tion of merit and ability , and a'refresh-
ing absence of any prejudice or self-
interest. As Mr. flalstead remarked
from Chicago , the vanity of some ol
the great inen would wither like leaves
in a flame could they hear the running
fire of criticism from the press tables ,
where are gathered the bright lights of
our daily literature. The demagogue
is promptly taken into camp and aassed
from mouth to mouth. The strainer
for effect is profanely hauled over the
coals , and the minister who opens the
convention with prayer is fiercely as
sailed for using an ungrammatical ex
pression in addressing the throne of
For the palpitating orator and states
man ignorance of the conversation in
the press section is bliss , and it is well
for his self-conceit that when he sub
sides it is into the bosom of his friends
and companions , from whom he hears
nothing but compliments and words of
The press gathering at Chicago was
notable one , and probably not a jour
nal in the land was unrepresented
there , and the list included a large ma
jority of the most famous names in the
newspaper profession.
The character of the work turned
out from this hot , tumultuous busy ,
is remarkably
good when we consider that the pen
cils go rapidly on with hardly a pause
while the jokes and criticisms with or
namental expletives circulate , and the
din is incessant , and , " betimes , the
great convention is roaring like a storm
at sea. Indeed , some of the brightest
and most interesting , as well as pic
turesque , reports are ground out under
these circumstances and at a fever heat
of inspiration and exhileration. .
Suicide and Sleeplessness.
London Lancet.
The circumstances attending the
death of the Dean of Bangor albeitthey
are infinitely distressing present no
novel features. The reverend gentle
man was a man of considerable intellec
tual "power , " which is the same thing
as saying that he was constitutionally
liable to intervals of mental depres
sion. All highly intellectual men are
exposed to this evil. A pendulum will
always swing just as far in one direc
tion as it does in the other. Great
power of mind implies also great weak
ness under certain conditions. The
marvel is not that great minds occas
ionally become deranged , but they so
often escape derangement. Sleepless
ness means not merely unrest , but star
vation of the cerebrum. The briin
cannot recuperate , or , in other _ words ,
it cannot rest. Physiologically , recu
peration and rest are the same thing.
Sleep is simply physiological rest.
The only cause for regret in these cases
is that the blunder should ever be
committed of supposing that a stupefy
ing drug which throws the brain into a
condition that mimics and burlesques
sleep can do good. It is deceptive to
give narcotics in case of this type. The
stupor simply masks the danger. Bet
ter far let the insomnious patient ex
haust himself than stupefy him. Chlor
al , bromide and the rest of the poisons
that produce a semblance of sleep are
so many snares in such cases. Sleep
lessness is a malady of the most for
midable character , but it is not to be
treate'd by intoxicating the organ upon
which the stress of the trouble falls.
Suicide , which occurs at the very out
set of derangement , arfd is apt to ap
pear a sane act , is the logical issue of
failure of nutrition that results from
want of sleep. It is curious to note
bow a sleepless patient will set to work
r -3 f4 T
with all the calmness and forethought
of intelligent sanity to compass nis
death. Ho is not insane in anv techni
cal sense. He has no delusion. He
does not act , or suppose himself to act ,
.under an "influence. " Ho simply
wants to die , and perhaps not until
after ho has made an.attempt to .kill
himself will he exhibit any of the for
mulated symptoms of mental disease.
The Typical fla * Boy.
B.U. Keller , In Utlca Press.
In behalf of that much-abused "bad
boy , " I am constrained to 'take np.the
pen in defense. In the first place he
isn't halt so black as ho is painted. I
am well aware of the fact that , as a
rule , ho is not a favorite of susceptible
ladies of questionable age , who abhor
or pretend to anything in the shape
of manly breeches. To such , the bad
boy is a terror , and he knows it ; if he
didn't , he'd cease to make .himself so
everlastingly odious in their estimation.
Let the bad boy know to a surety that
you dislike him , and you open up a
channel of tribulations that is produc
tive of much disaster , especially if yau
own" an orchard , a gate that can be
lifted from the hinges , or a dog with a
tail long enough to fasten a can to/
There is much truth in the old adage ,
"You can catch more flies with molas
ses than you can with vinegar. " The
proverbial "bad boy" is just like one of
those self-same flies. Give him a dose
of molasses and you win him for life ;
but one drop of vinegar , and he is your
relentless foe. As a true and devoted
friend , the "bad boy" is a success ; as
an enemy , he is as great a success. In
his ever-working brain are schemes
which will cause your hair to rise in
horror ; and in that same brain are
gendered acts of kindness which are capable -
pable of thrilling your heart to the
very core.
Some oue says that the "bad boy"
has too much rope. If he has you are
tp blame. You give him the wrong
sort of rope. It is full of hard , cross-
grained , sour , vindictive knots. If you
had given him rope of a different ma
terial there would be no danger of his
dropping suddenly from the end of it.
I am acquainted with one of the
sweetest dispositioned boys in all the
world. He is bright , quick , and a per
fect little gentleman when you treat
him as a human being should be. He
will go a mile out of his way to assist a
cripple over the fence ; he will go as far
to fasten a can to Brown's dog's tail.
Brown has cartloads of apples ; he'd
rather see them rot upon the ground
than give one to the "bad boy. " He
wouldn't give a boy an apple for any
thing. Oh , no ; not he. He hates boys ;
they're a nuisance , he says. The re
sult is , his dog chases his nose often to
rid himself of the disagreeble , rattling
can fastened to his tail.
There is a poor old lady who lives
all alone in n. little cottage just across
the road from the "bad boy's" home.
That boy never goes to school without
dropping in to see if the old lady has
plenty of wood in the box. Call him a
bad boy in her presence , and she'll
quickly tell you that the world would
be better with lots more of just such
bad boys it in.
I am no admirer of that personifica
tion of goody-goody boy who never did
a bad thing in all his life. He isn't a
boy ; he's only a little machine , wound
up to go for , say ten , twenty years.
Then , when he is for the first time
really tempted , the cogs refuse to move
and the wheels no longer revolve with
their wonted smoothness ; a bolt drops
out and he falls. When the goody-
goody boy falls it is a long , long foil ,
and it takes years to recover his lost
prestige. I detest and hate that evil-
minded boy who has never the sign of
a redeeming quality about him. He
helps fill the prisons early in life ; yet
there may be extenuating circumstances
surrounding his case ; if so , let those
who bear him near kinship begin to
practice early , or else prison bars ,
rope and scaffold ! But the proverbial
"bad boy , " the boy of rollicking laugh
ter , rosy cheeks , the boy who will help
a poor old woman over the gutter , then
hasten away to attach a ticktack to
some Miss Snodgross' window , is a per
son I've always loved. This sort of boy
makes things lively when he's" growing ;
but grown up what a model !
Beading Aloud.
South and West.
A very pleasant habit for home life is
bhat of reading aloud some pleasant
book in the evenings , and if the selec
tion of the book is wise it certainly
makes the home circle very attractive ,
and lightens the drudgery of the moth
er , who often sits after tea with her
basket of stockings to be darned , and
who has a dreary time if each member
of the family who does not go out takes
bis or her paper or book , as I have of-
ien seen , and subsides into their own
interesting reading , leaving her to her
own meditations. A book read aloud
at home gets a charm apart from itself
sometimes ; its very name will conjure
up in our memories scenes in the far
past the pleasant family circle , then ,
perhaps , unbroken , the cheerful fire
side , and frequently , too , the comments
upon what is being read which add to
; he interest and give a newer insight.
The same association applies to a piece
of work which is in operation while any
book is being read.
longevity of Boston Editors.
Boston Journal.
The longevity of Boston editors and
jublishers has been somewhat marked ,
ilajor Ben Russell , of the Columbian
Sentinel , lived to the age of eighty-
ihree years and four months. Hon.
Joseph T. Buckingham , of the Boston
Courier , was eighty-one years and four
months. Wm. W. Clapp , of the Satur
day Evening Gazette , was eighty-two
rears and six months. Hon. Nathan
3ale , of the Advertiser , was seventy-
eight years six months. That Colonel
Greene , who enjoys a hale old age , will
surpass the record of any of the above ,
who were his cotemporaries , is the wish
of his many friends.
Sincerity is like traveling in a plain ,
beaten road , which commonly brings a
nan sooner to his journey's end than
> y-ways , in which men of ten lose them
selves. [ Tillotaon.