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About Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 1, 1901)
\ j&f ift A iaJJ I Hetty , of The Uld lirddde. 'A * * * W By .1. II. CONNOLLY. rtpjrlehl , 1W1 d IR'AI , bj nobi'rtllon ir'nHoin. ( All ( MIAITKH XVII. ; iobn Cniueron was tip before the sun & * next morning , only to learn , to ills jrt'iU disgust , that it would not be prac- ik'tthte to got n iniirrlaKt' lli-euse before nine o'clock. Hitherto lie had cured notli- ! fcig for polilli-H , Imt now lie saw an im perative need for Itofonii with a big U ' . no so great us to lie worth lighting for * t the polls. It WIIH Hhainefiil , outrageous he wild to lilniHelf-thiit tin ) sloth of a fcublli servant , a mere clerk , should bo toeindtted to keep up the bars on thu road to Iljmen until so preposterous an hour. [ Blnrrlago licenses should bo procurable ut daybreak. It would do no harm if the clerk's olllce wore kept open nil night , take the vvtiteh houses , and would doubt- iJi-ss lie .1 great convenience for citizens. tHu wondered If he could not get the As- Munihlyinan friim his district to introduce 'in ' the Legislature a hill to that effect. 'And ' hours later , when he realized that -what had been at the first seeming but nn annoying delay , hud , through thu evolution lution of coii ciiicnl | events , developed Bite overwlielining disaster 10 ins most cherished plans his raue grew with his Knowledge , and he swore by the Devil's ttlnckbmie that never would ho vote foi , i candidate unpledged to antagonism to , "that " exasperating and baneful system of seslrioting the Issuance of tnnrriagu 11- iCL-nseB to the hours between nine a. in find four p. in. Well , why not ? Have " " less de 'not ' party "platforms" contained atniblo "planUs , " and has not overj American citizen an Inherent right , to construct a plank for hlmsulf and to jam it into a platform , too , if ho can gut help tnoiigh to do so ? "Now that thco has thy license , John , " mud Landlord Robinson to him , "there fa hut ono minister In Plttsburg who jhould marry thee , and that is thu Hev. Sir. Luidlnw. He filled the pulpit at Candor eleven years ago ; is a brothor-in- luw of tliu Huv. Mr. McLeod , thu pres- ut lucnmlient who got the best of me < iueo In a horsu trade , even If lie is a min is tor of the gospel , and I give him credit i/ lor it as I do any man who is smart ; tuough to best me In a dicker ami is > oei-Minally known to everybody in the , Dorthern half and middle of Washington ' , ount.v. Believe me , John , tliou canst j not take too many precautions in this matter. Forget It not , that a Cameron is wedding a Mulveil , and instead of its > feeing an occasion to fan the llnmo of the old feud , it should bring about peace and seed will. Which it doth , deliondeth In jreatest measure upon thee. " "I don't see how. " Through the degree of respect tliou , by every detail of thy marriage , & > r thu Mulveil tliou hast chosen to take jto wife. Do naught that an enemy might Uonstrue into a slight or even a thought- pss lack of consideration for her. " Mrs. lloblnsou used like arguments ks'itli Hetty , until the young couple began Jkiiagining that a marriage celebrated bj anybody else than the Huv. Mr. Laid- Jkiw ivvould be no marriage at all worthy of tlie name , and John went in haste to ) secure at onee the services of that neces J > . sary functionary. Alas , for the hours lost in gelling the license ! The minis- vr's wife said that her husband had , nbout nine o'clock that morning , gone j ver to Allcghuny to confer with some aiinUteriul brother over something they proposed to bring before the next pres &yt iy , and lie was not at all likely to return before dark. But by six o'clock they -would certainly Und him nt home. Uould they not wait until then'"Wait ! " < 0h , yes , John could Wait and would , if ' 2t wore absolutely necessary , until even- fiig , but no more. He said to himself that lie woidd see Mr. Ijildlaw and the whole presbytery In Halifax before hi- ivonld wait until the next day. Tl"4 weather was altogether too vilely Sad for any Higlit-.sccin ? , to kill time with ; and , indeed , there was not much vortli seeing In the tbwn in those days ; crtalidy nothing so nttnfctive for John : , and Hetty as silting together before the S slowing tire ( in the cosy silling room of .Jtlic Farmer's Inn , building their castles f u lite .sir. They took up that delightful occupation just about where they had ' Ilift oft the night before , and the em-hunt ed land of their mutual dream was fur from the dull , cold , gray reality of driving sain and howling wind and placing mud Beneath frowning leaden skies. With his jirm about , her waist , her head upon Ids shoulder and lliulr voices murmurin- ; low And tenderly , their souls floated in mil lion through a realm warmed and illum ined by the roseate sun of love. Furnishing tin- castle In the air was ' 3QW the older of business. John rather itouuht they would not "need to buy a r single stick. " The great loft of iho old Someslead was lilerallj filled with bed- iteailn , tables , chairs , chests of drawers , xnd such like stuff , Hie accumulations of ihree or four generations of systematic aalliorers ; and H was no common , cheap im'niture , but solid mahogany ; old-fash- Smod , perhaps , but none the less service- -iblo , "But , will your mother consent to our 2.1 Uiu 3 what we want ? " "She would gladly give us as much : new for taking it awuy out of her road. NHther of them noticed the door < jpv > nuig lioldnd tlimu , and both tUnrt- ( J to their foot surprined , led and iMfiiied , as a duet of exclamations bur t ayon thuir wxrn , One.iu a Idg , deep , mao- uline vglce. was simply : "Gosh ! " The utlier , alia'rply , shrill- feminine , was toSaloK : alive ! " . Uncle David Henderson and Mia * Mur > 3Uiler ron fronted tlie lovers. $ Why , ilohitalilu Mulvuil ! " contlnuoi > Wo' ttpiiuHer , excitedly. "How on , oartl did you vomo here ? " "lu Johu'n cutler. Mary , " ijnswcrec . demurely , with iprdgulgli little "Ar * you murrtod yet ? " demanded Un l > David. "N'o ; not ypt , " replied John. HJii'-lc David froxiueJ sen-rely. "How do you connto be hero'Hetty / her friend. 1 bud n lot of dry goods niul fixin's to gel , and as Uncle Da\lu was coming ; o town to-day with his big sleigh , he dndly brought me along. " " " demandi * ? "Are you married yetV" Tohn , gravely , with a very good Imita tion of the older man's sternly magiste rial manner. Uncle David fairly jumped in surprise. Mary gasped : "Why , John Cameron ! " And then there was a general roar of laughter. "Conic. " said Uncle David , In a tone of remonstrance , interrupting the hilarity , "this is no laughing matter. You chll- dteii may think it is quite a joke , but before yon get through you will find it a very serious piece of business I am afraid. " "How did you leave mother ? " Hetty in quired of Mary. "Madder than a wildcat still. She niNsed you belorc you were gone ten minutes , I guess , and , just as quick as she could , got Simeon ami Ids man Hufus out after you. They had not got back when 1 left this morning , and seeing you ( Mill , 1 lillll I BUl'IUrlf lill V 11111 l-tt.l .JV you yet. Your mother , instead of cooling olT , seemed to be gutting hotter every hour that pushed , and , indued , 1 was glad of a good excuse to get away. " Unele David beckoned John to accom pany him , and the two mon loft the room together. OuNdo , in the jnn yard , af ter looking carefully around to assure himself that ho would not be overheard , the giant whispered hoarsely : "No , they haven't come back. And they never will.- "Never will ! WhaJ do you mean ? " "Just what 1 say , my boy ; and I'm much afearod It will make thu old grudge between the Mulveils and the Gainurona worse than ovur. " "I don't hce why they shouldn't return when they haven't found us. " "Dead men don't come hack. " "Dead men ? " "That's what I said. You don't know anything of what has been going on , do you ? Of course not. There was noth ing In tliu world , and nothing was going on , but you and Hetty. Well , I'll toll you something thai may shake that no tion. The ice in the river broku up last night. I suppose you know that much ? " "No. How should I ? I crossed on it yesterday. " "Yes. I came over to-day on the horse ferryboat that is running again. On the way over , ono of the men working on the boat told me about a two-horse sleigh ann two men breaking ttirottgii tlio ice yesterday. From ids description of the team and the men , I believe that was the last of Sim Mulveil and Itufo Goldie. " "If so , I'm sorry for them , but 1 don't sec how I am responsible for their fate , ns you seem to think , by alie way you look at mo. " "If you hadn't run off with Hetty Mul veil , it wouldn't have happened. " "Oh , if it comes to that , I'd run Hotly off and marry her if the , Moiiongahela river were plugged with Mnlveils on ac count of' it. " "Marry her eventually , yes. That's nil right enough. But so long as that Irre vocable step has not been taken already , If you will he advised by me , John , you will postpone it a little while , until this thing sort of blows over , and it will not be KO likely to cause bitterness of feel ing , as it would now. " "Why , Uncle Davy , I'm not to blame for what has happened to those two chaps if it really was they who were drowned. 1 didn't invite them to follow me. " vPhat's all very true , John ; but you know what tlio Mulveils are. They feel , but they don't reason. When a man mar ries , it behooves him to do all in Ills pow er for a i peaceful life , for tlio sake of his family if not for his own comfort. Just think what a time Hetty would have of It if all her breed were to be pecking and clawing at her every time your hack was turned. " I "But , say , maybe thu chaps who were drowned were not Sim and Uufe , after all. " "We can settle that soon enough. The man on the ferryboat said thai one of them had been dragged out of tlie eddy below the Point and taken to .Monger's iron sheds--wherever that may be for the coroner to sit on him. The thing for us to do is to go and see if I'm right In UBpieionlng what I do. The coroner may sit on il or it may nil on tlie coroner , for ill 1 care. " "All right. Come along ! Does Mary Wider know about what you've told me ? " "Not a word , as jet. " By the time tlie two men found Mnn- jicr's sheds , the coroner had arrived , im- neled a jury and commenced the in quest. The body was htrelched out on a board , supported by a couple of tres tles. Its face was of a ghastly , bluish- white tint ; its clothing saturated , disar ranged and spongj looking. The board was so narrow thai to Keep both feet on it , thu logs hud been jauntily crossed ami tied in place with a bit of rope. Th's .inns hung down , witli the knuckles lying in the mud on each side , and the thumbs pre.iBod tightly into tlio palms of Iho hands. The eyes wuru half open and the jaw dropped. There were no pouts for the jury , so .Uiey stood about that oxtempomud bier , .mil , taough wrapped in their great coats , > hivt > reil. The wet corpse seemed to dif fuse a chill , and the air was certainly made colder by the presence of many ions of round , square and tlat iron bars , Handing on end in great piles all around the walls. All the light in the place C-IUUB from the big square door , against whk-h the misty , whitish-brown day boemod to loan Millenly. One wiineMi told the story of how he pulled the body , with a boat hook , out of the eddy. Another recognised the body iia that of one of tlie two travelers who had scorned his advice and consequently drowned within his sight. The third witness , I'nclo David Henderson , told whose the body was. It was Itufus Gol- die's. Ho know him well and was posi tive in the Identltk'iUlon. One of the jiirylnen asked him If he knew anything of the circiiinstjincos Icufling to the drowning , especially If the man tSohlle was Intoxicated , lie replied ! "I have not seen him before to-day fern n month , I believe ; did not know he was coming into town ; and Ids drowning oe- ciirrcd yesterday , as 1 am told , while I did not arrive null ! this afternoon. " The Canny Scot had told exact truth , but at the same time adhered to his res olntion that John's lo\e ull'uir should not be mixed up with the death of u Mulveil any sooner than was unavoidable. As for the inquiring'juryman , he innocently supposed that his ( ( motion had been an swered. John did not tool called upon to say anything. On thu way back to the Inn Uncle Da vid continued to urge upon John even more sinuiKly than before the imperative ni.'cessity for postponing the marriage , but the young man was in no humor to be convinced. "Just wait until the row blows over , " pleaded the giant , "and then come back and marry right there. I don't like tliu idea of a Cameron running away to get married , anyhow. " "The ditlicultlcs in the way will alwajs be the same. You've no Idea how bitter the old woman is against me. Why , she lias even threatened to scald me. " "What of it ? Thu hotter a woman Hares up , the sooner bur lire is burned out. The louder and harder she cackles , the sooner she will got tired and be quiet. I'll pledge you my word , John , that if you'll wait now and only come buck when I send for you , joii shall have Hetty then and marry her in public , even if fifty Camerons with their rifles have to stand around you and I'll engage to keep the old woman off with an umbrella myself. " "A bird In the hand is worth two in the hush. " But when the tragic end of the pur suers was told to tlie girls at the inn , Uncle David found an ally in Mary El der. "If you no back married now , " she said to Hetty , "the very success of your run ning away will sting those who don't like John , und all the Mulvcils will blame you and him for what bus happened to Sim and Hufe. Hut if you wait awhile , folks will begin to talk around that it was a sort of judgment on Sim and Hul'o , and Unit they deserved on general prin ciples , what they got ; which is no doubt quite true. Then it will be Safe enough for John to come back without any trou ble occurring , and your mother will nat urally have' to give in. She can't hold put long. " Hetty reluctantly and ruefully admitted that Mary was riglft and assented to the postponement , but John resisted stoutly for a long time , arguing that it would look cowardly to jro so far and stop short. At length , when Hetty not only succumb ed to the pressure , but even demonstrat ed Ki/nie satisfaction witli the now ar rangement , as it seemed to him , he was bitterly piqued * nd suddenly ceased all opposition. "Do as you like , " lie said. "When you make up your mind that you want me. you can send for me , and if I ain't tou busy , I suppose I'll come. " "Oh , John ! How can I leave you all "Don't mind about me I'll be all right. Maybe I'll like city life when I got used to it. Int ! , no odds about me ; you do as Undo David says and be denied to him. " "You know I don't want to , John ; only it seems like 1 ought to ; and if it had been right we should get married now , maybe things wouldn't have stood in the way so. And and you oughtn't to bo so , cross with me , John. " "There , there , darling , don't cry ! " said the big follow , taking her in his army caressingly and soothing her by the kino- ness of his tones , us she hid her face 01 his breast. "I'm not cross with you ; I'm' ' not mad at you , dear. Only it's a denied sight out of tlie way Irom what I had made up my mind for , and 1 wish to thun der you hadn't come to town , Uncle Da vid. " CHAPTER NV1I1. John's dislike for the new program grew during the night , so that by the time morning came , had Hetty given him the slightest encouragement , lie would have revolted against Uncle Da vid's authority and become a married man before breakfast. Hut Mary Elder. who really had much confidence in Un cle David's judgment and took care ho should observe she had , shared the girl's bed and was successful in deepening the impression already made upon lior in 1'a'vor of a postponement of the marriage. "It ain't the way 1 want it , any more than it's tlie way you want it , John , " she said , in consultation witli her lover , "but I guess it's for the best. Wo are young and can afford 'to wait a little while , anyway. " "There's always risk in waiting ! " growled John. "N'ot for us. All the hoi--.es ain't go ing to die nor the roads to bo built up. And when 1 say I'll wait for you , John , 1 mean it. I don't care what mother or anybody else says. There'll be nobody for me but you , John , if 1 have to wait for jou until Itnccoon Creek nius across the top of tlie Devil's Backbone ! " "I'll maku a heap of excitement In Washington County before I'll stand any such waiting as that , " answered John , grimly. But the matter was settled for the time being , and , recognizing that fact , ho accepted it as philosophically as lie could , even through a romuant of pique assuming a cheerfulness ) that lie was far from feeling , as lie saw Hetty car ried away by Urfelo David and Mary. For a few days , the country 1ad , thus left to himself among the ashes of his hopes , felt miserably lonely and could not shako off an impression that the part lie had played was not one to bo proiyl of. To bo sure , the l.uuV'ord ' said he had done quite rightly , but till re was a twin- Isle in thu old fellow's eyM , , and a lurk ing smllo on Ids fat lip * Uuit suid ho would not have acted MI. And ho im agined that Mistress Betsy , too. though she went so far as to proiiouiue his con- duet "noblo" and "prudent , , ' ' wore a smile of contemptuous pity' most exas perating to him. He * felt tliat he could not stand. well in his own estimation ; for the plain , unvarnished fact } of the case was that , after carrying off 'triumphantly the girl he loved and who 'oved him , he had permitted himself to te talked out of his prize. Decidedly , ho said to himself - self , ho deserved to lie jeered and laugh ed at , but ho would break the nose of the first man who gave hli.i that desert , The atmosphere of the Farmers' Inn be came unendurable to him , And ho hunted up a lodging elsewhere , beyond the prob- I ability of cticounfer with any who him. him.He He found this secluded haven in Tom- peraiicoville , the then charming lllllu sul > - nrb covering the sldehill and extending down into ( lie valley south of Sawmill Una , below South Pittsburg. Most of I hat territory , now co\orcd by great , grimy , roaring factories , mllh and crowd ed tenements , was then dotted over witli pretty cottages and white frame build ings , two or three stories high , embow ered amid trees and vines ami surround ed by gardens , glorious in thu summer time witli their brilliant and fragrant wealth of flowers. The people of Tern- peranceville were rich only in health and children , for it was a laboring popula tion ; but the conditions of labor , Inliiilti'- ly better then than they have since become - come , did not Involve privation and squalor us inevitable concomitants. Hap py content was visible everywhere , in the tasteful , comfortable homes ; tlie btal- warl , Independent looking men upon the streets ; the plump , good-looking matrons and the chubby little folks who fairly swarmed in the plan- . John felt butter when lie hftd found a domicile ovur there , among entire strangers. At least , the Monongohela river no longer rolled be tween him and Hetty ; he was on the road that led to home and her. ( To be continued. ) A PRINCESS OF HER PEOPLE. H Who WUH the Original of He- bctvn in fccott'x "ivnulioe. " "No otlitv Jewish wonian , perhaps , has been more admired by both Jew and Gentile than Uobecca Unit si ( of Philadelphia ) was in tlie drawing-room , the synagogue , and In the humble homes to which she ministered , " writes William Perrlue , in the Ladles' Home Journal "It was her unfailing habit to begin each morning witli a prayer of thanks for protection during tlie night , and to review the day in her evening orison. Among the women of tlie synagogue , in which she would not tolerak- the least departure from the law and precepts , her Judgment was regarded by the faithful as hardly short of inspiration. In her philan thropy and in ho- : pursuit of education al improvement Rebecca ( ! rat7. knew no creed. She helped to found an asy lum for orphans Inwhich she served with Christian colleagues. The first Hebrew Sabbath school in America , of which she was long the head , owed its origin to her , and Into a sewing socie ty , Into a system for distributing fuel to the poor , and Into countless little tasks of charity , she was foremost In gathering the energies of Jewish wom en. Tims It was that In the streets of Philadelphia it came to be the habit to point her out as 'the good Jewess' not less often than 'the beautiful Jewess. ' It was Rebecca Ural/ who was the original of the Rebecca of 'Ivanhoe , ' the character being drawn from tlie word picture that Washington Irving had painted of the Philadelphia Jewess to Sir Walter Scott. After a Chinc.sc Wctltliiij ; . On the day following a Ulilne.se wed ding , at least In certain provinces , the bride's youngest brother goes to Inquire after her and to take a present from her mother of a bottle of hair oil. This Is a custom so ancient that none knows the origin thereof. No further com munications take place between the bride and her family for three months , when her mother s-ends a sedan chair and an invitation to visit her. If there lias been neither a birth nor a death In her husband's or in her mother's house for 100 days she goes and makes a short stay at her old home. ( This visit vver , she cannot see her mother again \\iiljl \ after her first child is born , and i\ot \ then should the child lie a girl. Even t\ien \ ff there has been a death In either filmlly the visit cannot be made , and thVre have been many Instances wheie a .another and daughter llvfng very near other have not met for years. ton Post. , Crown I'm tor. TlVi5 > rown Prinu'bf Clermany , whom rd 1ms been delighted to honols dghtcon , and has only recent ly lelUUie Nliool at Ploen. But ho ItnowS somiVhlng about politics al ready ; \e wanNmily eight , indeed , when he began to dlsVuss Imperial questions with hit fatherj All the world was " talking \ . and Prince William ) was alive to the fact. He Is said to Have astonished the Kaiser by Ills grasp'Kjf the situation , and to have once remariked at dinner , ' 'Father , they say that now Bismarck Is gone you will do as you p\lease. \ You will like that. won't you ? " V Unfortunately , as In all sm-li stories , the end comes where the Interest lieglnsSx Count Tols\ioi \ at Work. Every moment oV Tolstoi's day Is carefully portioned Vit. When ho be gins a new book ho settles the plan of the work , collects a grVmt number -of studies , and writes niNldly without giving much attention to d\tnlls. When the new book , cleanly copltitd. appears on Ills table , It Is Instantly rVmodeled. The manuscript Is speedily suotted all over with erasures and luternolatlona between the lines , at the sideslbnil at the bottom , and with transfers tKother pages. Whole sentences repl The work , copied a second time , oncos a like fate. ThV same with the third copy. Some chapters art ton more than ten times. Tlio Swiss Army. The annual statistics relative to the strength of the Swiss army have just been issued , and show that there are iril.'Kl men in the first class. S7.5-10 In tlie second class , and U7f > , .MG ) In the third , making a grand total of (114 , 1)5 ) soldiers. Each man Is a properly train- oil soldier and a marksman at 1,000 yards. Yon may be nimble to read a mnti'i thoughts , but his actions speak for themselves. The heart can always give to charity even though the h.and cannot. tT i,3&.m . . . , , . . . . * r. y OUJ ! 15UDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DOINGS - INGS HERE AND THERE. Jolcett utid JokelctH tluit Arc to Have llceii Recently Horn iiiul DnltiuH that Are Old , CnrioiiH and Week'H Humor. "Your love letters. " wrote a Boston man to his New York fiancee , gently but firmly , "arc not couched In the ex- nctest English. " "My love letters , " replied she , "are not for publication , but merely as u guarantee of good faith. " Detroit , Free Press. ' An Important One. "Thompson has made n discovery. " "Indeed ? " "Yes. lie says that he has discovered that the more buttons there sire on a woman's coat the greater the probabil ity that it really fastens with hooks and eyes. " Puck. I'osMtity. "You say the play was entirely with out a villain ? " "Yes that Is , if you choose to omit the author. " Indianapolis Press. Mow to Hot Them to Htop. Irate Passenger ( having caught the car on a dead run ) Suppose I had missed my footing and bad a leg cut oft ? Conductor You wouldn't had to run no more ; we got orders to stop for cripples. Hli StntiiB. lie Look hero , my dear. 1 cannot afford to entertain on such n scale as you have indulged in 'of late. She John , I really believe you are just the kind of a man who would be perfectly Chappy if yon lived within your income. Life. Criticism. First Drake I tbink that young drake is very stupid. , Second Duck Oh , yes ! lie doesn't know enough to stay out when it rains. Clinic Buck Viewless. Mrs. ( lushlngton 1 suppose , now that you have been abroad , you have your own views of foreign life. Mrs. Newrich No , we ain't got no views. We didn't take no camera along. It's'so awful common. Phila delphia Itccord. Increa lnu tlie Chances. Once it encouraged a boy to be told that he might become President of the Lulled States some day. Now. it is necessary to change the promised pilxo ; to Presidency of a trust. New York ' World. Ileluteil. "I understand that Frallman has come to the conclusion to contest his wife's will. " "Well , what is there courageous about thai ; she's dead , isn't she ? " Ulclunoiul Dispatch. A Lone Story. Ned If you want to marry an heir ess , why , why don't you propose to Miss Elderly ? She's rich. Ted -Yes ; but l object to her past. Ned \\'hy , I thought that she was above reproach. Ted It i.s ; but there's so much of it , -Town and Country. Trylnji to Deceive Her. "No , " said the landlady , "wo cannot accommodate you. We only take In single gentlemen. " "Uoodness , " replied Mr. Marryat , "what makes you think I'm twins ? " Philadelphia ItccorU. Of 1 wo Kvll-j the Lc.iHcr. PapaDidn't I tell you , Willie. If I caught you playing with Tommy Jink again 1 would.whip you ? Willie-Yes , sir. Papa Then why were you playing with him ? \ \ llllc Well , I got lonesomer than I thought a llcktn' would hurt , so I just went over and played With him , that's why. l-'imy for Her. Mrs. Muggins Mrs. Itjonca Is vcrj regular in her attendance at the moth crs' meetings. She never misses one Mrs. Btfgglns Why should she ? Slit , hasn't any children to keep her home. .Philadelphia Hecord , A Cull Down for Mr. " . \Ir. Mock I should certainly have say us to whom my daughter . Meek Not at all. Let her alone , she'll marry some old fool Just r mother did , Baltimore World. ' lit ) M > eloty Monstroclty. ese folks Hi the next tlat are aw- fnllaiirotontlous. " Arc they ? " she sends her visiting card - middle names on it when nhe wnnTh to borrow butter. " Puck , \ Worlli More. "A penny for your thoughts , Reg gie. " "Worth more , .wcnlly ; . make It fwiuik. " "A franc ? Nonsense ! Why ? " "Was thinking In Fwcnch , ye knorr , of you , don't ye know. " Hnrlein Lifft Hrook'yn l.oveiV Wnyn. She-So this Ik the end of our en gagement ? He It niny be for you , lint It wlU nice me u year yet to pay the bills.- Brooklyn Life. Srlf t'l y. "I see .lack Ketclmm.has been mar * it'll to Mlhs ( Jokllrox. " "Yes , and 1 was very sorry to see It" "Sorry ? For her sake or his ? " "For mine. I wanted her. " Phil * . lolphla Press. In riiicnuo. Doctor Oh ! I'll pull you through ! Patient That's right , doctor ! 1 wan * to be Included in the next census. Pnek. A C'lctir Interpretation. Pastor I am pained to see , deal brother , that yon will sleep in church on Sunday. Parishioner Of course. Why notl Isn't Sunday a day of rest ? The New Unity. Happy Father We've got n now baby up ut our house. Friend So ? What do you call blml II. P. We don't call him ; he dooi all the calling himself. ( 'iilnirlum Floral Festivals. "Yesterday was sweet-pea day out al our house. " "In bloom already1 ? " "No , ' my wife stood -ver me while 1 weeded them. " A Hlow to Kxiiectntinn. Mrs. Dobbs Yon told me Mrs. Ilobbi was highly intellectual. Mr. Doblis Dldu't you find her so ? Mrs. Dobbs When I called'we talked a solid half hour about clothes. Where A\UH lie At ? / She There are some people I/lllti and some I don't like. Lie What about me ? She- Oil , present company Is excopted. \ Information Irom HeutlcinnrU 4 < . Cleverton Look here , have you' ' bees making love to Miss Summit ? \ Da&haway Yes , sir , I have. \ "Well , do you know that I have bo& . making love to that girl ? " * "So she said. " Colors Kim SInil. "Have you scon Jack Lilllngtou's novt golf suit ? " "No ; it is gay , I imagine. " "Gay ? He looks like a demented ICaster'egg. " Life. , In lie ( delightfully ) Unv-o you reallj and truly never been engaged before ] She Nevvr that is , not in the win- ten-New York Weekly. ( ' iirclcnini ; K.tpnfc 1. Mr. Citlly I should think you would raise mushrooms ; they are very ox- pensive. Mr. Isolate ( of l.onlcyvillc , mournful ly ) Every ! liing is expensive by th time I have raised it ! " Puck. A Cruiliinc Uc-Kcct. Cincinnati Enquire ! . Ominous. First Bookkeeper Dobson has beei chuckling to himself over his work nl , day. llej must see something verj amusing In the figures he's working with. Second Bookkeeper That so ? Well lot's watch out and get away tin minute closing-up time come ? . His ; * year-old boy 1ms been saying thing cute again. TxvitiH. "Quite an InXerestlmr thing happened at Nupop's house last night. " "There were two Interesting things. ' "I only heard of one ; the arrival of i i son and heir. What was the otherV" H "Tho arrival of another son heir. " Philadelphia Press. The Dot ; ' * Immune. Snobbins-I should think you'd b afraid of having that big dog around yon all the time. If 1 had him I should bo afraid all tlie time he would go mad Snubblns Hut he doesn't have to Mvi with you. you know.- Boston Tran script. A l < ltornry Ur.jolc "Your friend says ho has no troubli whatever In understanding ovary paragraph - graph of that volnminoub state docu ment. " "Yes. I don't know whether to re gard him with great respect or great suspicion. " Washington Star. Overheard nt Lennox. Tom-Docs your father know tint 1 play golf ? Alice You don't suppose I've told him your fallings. < 10 you-Judge. " lie-When I tell that I Imv enough to support you In the style in which you 4have been accustomed u i live , you must take my simple worn She But , George , Is that strlctlj business }