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About Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190? | View Entire Issue (July 31, 1896)
BECOIUTiON-DAY. The war-cry lliro' the land Is stilled, The cannon's sullen lips are dumb; Tn-day throughout out land c hear The solemn beat of mufllcd drum. The flags bang droop'ng f mm the tad 'Ihe streets are filled with gravc-cyed men; Long dormant memories sprint; to life We llvo the dead past o'er agalu. We secthro' minis of falllne- tnaii The wild, fierce strife of armc We near the clash of hostile stttl . We feci the touch of YanJshcd.UMik Ve nart as In the dtn of vow. From loved onrn In'nr Htnpn In tlul We hear that mournful sound giln " luecianKiug letters 01 mo slave. Wo seo the Mnes of Blue and Gray Abased for the flclit, as In Urn paBt; e heir the neigh "ug of the steeds And waken to ourselves at last. Instead of rlfc, the lute ot peace H'cnlh. a softly o'er a itntcful laud; Instead of arms the dulrry (loners, Are strewn about on every hand, The Gray now mingles with the Blue In that cU-rnnl sleep called death, Their trlfe Is o'crand In the end Wc mourn them all with equal breath. From far-off lands wo como to place Sweet blossoms on the honored tombs Andwcder vauuely will they sec Our offerings from their narrow rooms The emptv sleeve a Northman licars Is matched I y one from Southern lands; The fair May-blossoms they would strew Find other eager, will tig hands. And as the one-lime wan fori stand With tear-dlmmcd eyes, to lend their aid Thc'r very actions seem to soy "This brotherhood hath all repjld." Thtlr str fe Is o'er, their work c mplcte, And that for wiilih they strove Is done: We who rrmaln can but applaud A noble battle grauilly won. "They bullded tetter than the; knew" A goodly structure i.urfnir land; no mourn the dead butgladlv se The Blue and Grav aud hand In hand. JRIw'n O. "H heeler, in The Current SPOOFENDYKE'S PIE. ile Snows Mrs. S. How His Mother Used to Make 'Em. "My dear." said Mr. Spoopcndykc, folding his napkin and pushing his chair back from tho table, "my dear, you are a pretty good housokcopor, and onco in a while you contrive to cook up n fair meal, hut you have no business fooling around n minco pie. Thoro never was but one woman who could mako a minco pio, and that was my mother." "I thought this was nice," returned Mrs. Spoopcndye, with just a little quiver resting on her lip. "I got it UlllUl IUO COUK UOOK - "And you'd better nut it right back in tho book as a warning to other am ateurs," continued Mr. Spoopondyke. "I don't say that this is especially bad, only it doesn't moot with all tho re quirements of pio ns they were in stilled into my young mind. You might work it on foundling hospitals that nevoi had any mother, but it hasn't tho soul I used to got out of pio when I lived at home." How did your mother mako tho tumco pio, dear?" askod Mrs. Spoop cndykc. "If I know what she usod, perhaps I could get un ono of which you would cat six slices instead of four." And with this purely feminine dig, Mrs. Spoopcndyko looked mod estly downward and begun folding knifo ploatings in tho tablo cloth. "Comet" exclaimed Mr. Spoopon ooraoi- cxcinimeu Air. Spoopon ;o, jumping impetuously from his Ir. "If you've got tho ingredi 8, I'll show you how to make a pio UVKO, chair, ents that will draw howls of envy from tho neighbors," nnd Mr. Spoopkendvfce led tho way to tho kitchen. "Where's your chopping tray and tho apples? Fetch mo tho hand guillotine nnd tho beef! Look alivo now. mv doar. and we'll etartlo the world with somo rev elations on tho abstruse subject of minco pio!" "Lot mo put this big towel around your neok, so you won't grease vour clothes," suggested Mrs. Spoopondyke, dr.tgcing out a huso crash towel. "What's that for?" demanded her husband, contemplating it with no amount of favor. "Which end of tho pio is that thing supposed to have iu lluenco with? if 1 mako up my mind when I get through that this pie wants to bo shaved, I'll put on this skirt, but in tho meantimo I want room for all my limbs. Now," ho continuod, as ho dumped tho beef and apples into tho tray nnd went at them vigorously with tho chopping knifo; "now you watch tho proceedings and note how this pio Degms 10 assume -proportions. "Didn't your mother peol tho apples before she chopped them?" asked Mrs. Spoopondyke, quietly. "Eh!" ojuculatcd Mr. Spoopondyke, slowing up n llCtlo and looking into tho tray distruutfnlly. "Of course not," and ho. rcauined'his labors with more energy. "If you did, thero's whero you made your mistnko. I sup pose you peeled tho beef, too, didn't ye? Though I don't know," and ho btopptid short and regarded his work attentively. "It strikes mo tills moat would chop finer if somo one had drop ped a pilo driver on it onco or twice. Anyway, you don't want your meat too line, aud I guess this will do," and Mr. Spoopondyke sot tho tray full of lumps on tho tablo and rolled up his sleeves. "What will you have now, dear?" inquired his wife, tenderly. "Some Hour and water," replied Mr. Spoopondyke, cheerily. "It'sjlio crust of a pio that is its genius, and I'm going to turn out a slab of pastiy that will bo a monu ment to tho artist itig this job. Gimme water, wiiilo I feel wno is weav- tho Hour and as ono upon whom tho spirit of a rosts visibly!" successful pio Mrs. Spoopondyke brought out tho matorial and onco moro resum ed tho relation as a pupil to tho ex ercises. "Anything else, dear?" sho ask ed, as Mr. Spoopcndyko wot down his Hour and jammed his fists in tho paste. "Nothing but profound silence" ;e- torted hor nusband. "Tho chief trou ble with tho crust to your pio Is that you allow your attention to bo dis tracted from it at the critical moment. I, on tho contrary, will stop boxlug this overcoat for that mince meat just at the second it reaches flaklness," and ho slammed in moro Hour and plunged again into his ambitious effort in the wayofcruHt. "Thero!" said ho when ho had fought it to tho consistency of sand and mucilage and rolled it out into two thick chuuks. "There is tho triumph of pio over puttcrlngl Lead out tho pan whom tho cods would honor, nnd let's seo how this combina tion of hereditary intelligence nnd ac quired brains "will go when it's cooked!" Mrs. Spoopondyke handed him n plo pan into which he dropped his bottom crust, nnd then poured in tho minco moat. "Got to lift your teeth pretty high to got around somo of tho meat," ho observed, as ho tried to poko tho lumps into position with n slick. "I'm not sure whether mothor used to grato tho meat or crack it with a ham mer, but it don't mako so much dif ference. It's tho crust that talks, when you come to conversation on pio. Now, you do this," nnd ho marked' out a sprig on tho top crust with his thumb: "and when you got it on, thus, you pinch it around tho edges, so. beef My mother used to liavo an old wheel out of n woodon clock, nnd sho printed landscapes in holes all ovor tho pio. But that isn't necessary. It adds luster, but no dignity, to tho per formance. .Now, wo put it in tuo ovon, this -wise, and in a short thuowo will have accomplished results in tho immediate lino of pie." "It is really wonderful how wollyou remember how your mothor mado them," smiled Mrs. Spoopondyke. "You won't fcol badly because it beats yours?" said Mr. Spoonoudyko, kindly. "You won't cry?" and ho chucked her under tho chin, nnd opened tho stove door cautiously to soo how a Hairs were progressing. "I'll try not to," replied Mrs. SpDopendykc, casting her oyos down, aud suppressing something that sound ed like a sob. "Let's seo. You stick in a broom splint, don't you, when you want to know if tho pio Is done? Where's your broom? Show mo tho happy broom that is to bo immortalized by testing tliis grand apotheosis of pio!" Mrs. Spoopcndyko produced tho broom, and tho husband, carefully se lecting ono of tho splints, jabbod r.way at tho upper crust. "It won't go in," ho remarked, rath er dolefully, selecting another with similar results. "Tho trouble is with tho broom. Haven't you got a broom that knows something about its busi ness or is tills ono of those pious brooms thnt won't work ouSundavsP" and ho broke up sevoral moro splints in a vain endeavor to penetrato tho pie. "Hadn't you bettor try tho hnndlo, dear?" suggested Mrs. Spoopondyke. "No, I hadn't hotter try tho handle, dear!" mimicked Mr. S'poopondyko. "Como out hero, and lot's seo what's the occasion of this uncalled for resist ance!" and Mr. Spoopondyke hauled his pin out of the oven and tired it down on the table. "Got an idoa that vou'ro going to bo nssassinntod with a broom splint, haven't ye? Think you're a sort of a bulwark of Ameri can liberties nnd bound to resont for eign intervention, don't yo? Well, you ain't; you're only a measly pie, and you're going to liavo something Btuck in ye, if it takes a cold chisel and a cannon!" and Mr. Spoodendyko stnbbcd at it with a fork, and then with a ckopping-knlfe, without pro ducing tho fniutest impression. "You're up In pie, what d'yo supposo is tho matter with the thing?'1 ho asked, turning on his wifo. "If J'd been your mother, I should havo put somo lard in tho crust," re turned Mrs. Spoopcndykc, compla cently. "I don't know how you're going to get lard in a crust thnt you can't peno with a lieyonet!" retorted Mr. Spoo pendyko, upon whom it bocan to dawn that there was a hitch somewhere. "I've almost forgotten how mother did try pies to see if thoy wore done." "Did she over try a club?" inquired Mrs. Spoopendyke, timidly. "No, she didn't try a club!" roarod Mr. Spoopcndykc. Come thither, my gentle pio!" ho howled, planting his list in the middlo of tiie apparatus. "Listen to tho voice of the siren in quiringly within! and ho dropped it on the Hour, nnd plauted his heel upon it. "Front door closed for repairs; on trancn at tho back!" aud ho kicked the whole business to tho ceiling. "Your mother must havo been very vigorous for her age," observed Mrs. bpoopendyke, calmly. "I'ts thoso gasted lumps of meat," snarled Mr. Spoopendyke picking up his pie, nnd examining its knobs nnd bumps attentively. "I thought they'd melt when subjected to intense heat. Anyway, tho insido of that pio is all right, if l could only got tho lid oil. Got anything I can get under tho edgo and lift the roof oil this business? Gimme that can opener! Givo way, now! Whoop! Onco moro! Ki yah! All together, now! Whc-o-e! There sho comes!" And tho crush gnvo way re vealing chunks of boot nnd applo'pnr. ings, huif-eookcd.and still steaming. "I supposo your mother put in tho spicoi und cider after tho hired man had wrenched the pio open," remarked Mrs. Spoopendyke, solemnly. "You do, do ye?" squealed Mr. Spoopendyke, squtting down and resting his hands on his knees, while ho grinned in his wife's face. "That lump of quicksilver you call your mind, has got around to whero it transacts the supposing business, has it? P'raps you don't like the pie! I s'po3o you've got somo fashionnblo no tion that you don't care to associate with this pie! Well, you needn't. I don't force unpleasant acquaintances on my wifo. I believe in making homo a paradise, 1 do! Go forth, pio!" und ho shied it through tho window, glass, sash, and all. "That suit you?" ho yelled. "Hoes your moral nature fool relioved by tho absonco of tho pio vou navo been instrumental in castfnar, upon tho chilled charities of an uu sympathetic world?" "l guess mat pio can tauo euro or ilsolf." suggested Mrs. Spoopondyke, soothingly. "Tho next time I mako one, I'll try and havo it just as your mother used to." "You'll fetch It!" roarod Mr. Spoopendyke, stamping up and down tho kitchen nnd slapping the Hour off his coat. "You never hud any trouble with things, ntter I had shown you how! Somo day I'll pour lard in your car. and spico in your eye, aud leave vou in tho oven to rolled en how voa'd like to bo cut off from intellectual so cial intercourse, just becaustj yott aln half baked 1" nnd Mr. Spoopondykt slammed tho door after him, ani mounted tho staircase with hcavj trond. I don't care," murmured Mrs Spoopondvke, ns sho swopt up tho tic bris, "I don't caro. If that is tki way his mothor mado pio, I don't wonder It left a Btrong Impression oe his mind." And with this charitable vlow oi tho situation, Mrs. Spoopondyke sal down to tho consideration of whothct sho'd bottor mako a falso train foi her now blnoksllk. -Drake' Traveler Magazine. Narcotic Plants. In Yields Floral Magazine wo road of a flower which crcutos laughter. It grows in Ainbia; tho tlowors nro of a bright yellow and tho sood resembles small black beans, Thoso nro dried by tho natives and pulvorizod. and it is said that small doses mako a person bohavo like a circus olown or n mad man, for ho will dnuco, sing and laugh most boistorously, nnd carry on in a ridiculous way for about an hour. Tho stago of excitement Ib followed by ex haustion nnd sleop. This reminds us ot an oxoorimont wo mado many years ago. "Wo had soon Prof. Jnmes 11. lSuchnnnn ex perimenting with ptilvorizcd herbs by placing tliom in the pnlms of tho hands of a class of medical students. While they snt in n sort of oxpoctant mood, waiting for somothing to turn up and holding various powdorcd herbs in closed lists, evory now and then some ono of thorn would tell of tho symptoms which woro boing pro duced upon him. It was to us then a now and surprising rovolation that medicine could thus not withoutbeing taken into tho stomach, and wo aro not yet fully satisfied ns to tho way thoy do net under such circumstances. But having seen Prof. Buchanan's ox experiments wo wero lod to try it our selves on n couple of boys about sev enteen your of ago. Powdorod Can nabis liidica from tho snmo plant which gives hasheesh, u nurcotio usod by tho natives of India, was placed in ono hand of each of tho boys, whilo thoy sat quiotly waiting to seo what would turnup. One of thorn soon com menced to titter and thou to laugh boistorously, and soon ho became so hilarious with excitomont that wo thought best to tnko tho drug away from him. Ho soon sobered down. During tho period of excitement wo tried to get him to say why ho was carrying on in such a way, but ho was utterly utiublo to givo any explanation for it othor than lie felt that way. Tho other boy quiotly nodded off to sleep in his chair. This experiment illustrates two im portant things; first, thnt medicino can exert nn action in this curious manner, and second, that a medicino will act differently on dilleront per sons, according to temporament or indjosyncraoy, or suscoptibllity, what ever you choose to call it. Further more, it may bo remarked that both tho exhilera'ting and tho stupifymg re sults obsorvcif In theso coses aro known to bo tho effects of hasheos upon tho human system when taken internally. The description of tho "laughing plant" given by Tick does not corre spond with tho botanical description of tho Cannabis Indica plant, though there urc somo similarities, but in ef fects they aro evidently qulto nliko. FihIi and Fishermen. Trout nro caught in tho Truckeo Rivor, Nov., so easily that auy one with n bit of crooked wiro tied to a stick cau got a basketful. Winter fishing in Luko Manitoba has becomo quito an industry, several hundred persons boing engaged in it. Tho fish is sold on tho ico at a cent nnd n quarter a pound, or threo cents delivered at tho railway. In Lord Mansfield's hshing grounds, near Saono Pulaco on tho Tuy, n sal mon weighing oighty pounds was re cently taken. It wn's returned to its clomont. Tho heaviest Tuy fish on record weighed sovonty pounds. In 1872 1,000 markcd'sulmon wore turned into tho Wosor, but not until recently was tho first capturo reported. Tho tish was taken near tho place whero it was put into the water. It woighed thirty pouuds, and its marks showed that it was thirteen years old in 1872. A raco between a trout and a water snako was recently witnessed noar Oswego, N. Y. Tho fish was on its spawning ground, and kept swimming about in a circle, a little in advance of its pursuer. Tho snako finally caught the fish by tho tail, but tho trout had tiio use of its fins, and kept its body well ahead of tho snake. Tho snako thon backed up towurd shore, and with ono final cllort drew the fish nut of tho water and swallowed it. Wilkin's Star Proverbs. Give tho devil his du-do. Many a many is a fool for revenuo only. Sunbeams support tho floor of heaven. Tho waste baskol is mightier than tho pen. Silence is tho gold plating for a fool's tonguo. Tho drunkard's thread of lifo is wound on reel. When hope dies tho devil adds an other sculp to his belt. Splitting heirs is Solomon attempted it. And he said: "Let nothing now. thero bo olito," nnd tho 'first family" bounded into tho world. IIopo builds a nest in a roan's hoart whero disappointuiunt- hatches its brood. A littlo learning in a fool, liko scanty powder in a largo gun, will sometimes mako considerable noise. Whitehall 'lime. Not So Sensible. "Father," oxcluimod voting Jenkins, entering tho old geutiomau's ofOce, "I have sold mv printing ollijo " "Sit down, Tom. I am glud to seo thnt you aro so sensible." "Yes, father, 1 havo sold my office, but I havo bought another ono." "Get up! You h v- lost what littlo aonso yor Traveler. i nave." Auaiuuic OLD MITCHELL'S LAST VICTIMS. The Dangers Th.it Environ lien Who Meddle with n hwnmp Angel. Ono of tho worst man In tho world, so far as reputation goes, hold Martin Mitchell, who lives in the swamp just back of hero, wrilos a Blnokllsh, Ark., oorrcspodent to The New York. Sim, Ho is a terror to tho hard men for liundrods of miles nround, nnd vet personally ho is ono of tho most nffnulo old follows that ovor lived. Not ouo porson in n thousand who tells with prodigious adjectives nnd expletives of tho "swamp nngol's" ioroelty ovor saw him. His roputntatlon has grown by dogroos, until tho old colored pooplo havo como to look upon him ns in partnership with Satau, nnd many n black mothor and nurse scares hor lit tle ones by tolling thorn that "dnt olo tlobbll what swiims nroim' in do mash es is nrtoryo!" Now, tho fact Is that old man Mitch ell, according to his own story nnd tho common judgment of his fellow-men in this vicinity, is n harmless aud law abiding citizen. Ho has a hut of somo kind in tho swamp, whore ho makes his headquarters, but whou tho weath er is good ho Is just as likely to camp twenty or thitty miles away, whorovor nightfall may find him, as ho is to bo at home. Ho is a hunter and fisher, and it is probably truo that If nobody had ovor bothorcd him ho would not havo hurt anybody. He has been in tho swamp for thirty years or more, killing a man now and thon, as oc casion soomed to warrant, and making no fuss about it. Heretofore, when theso diflloultlos havo occurred, tho old man has not thought it worth' whilo to. como in nnd explain matters, or oven pay much attention to his vic tims. It no ono claimed thoni ho has buried thorn iu tho bullrushos nnd gono on about his business. Tho othor day, howovor, ho found that ho had to kill threo men iu a bunch, and as this was somothing unusual, ho cauio to Blneklish to apologize, nnd eventually wont ovor to Memphis nnd communi cated witli tho Bhoriff thoro on tho point. This was tho first reul glimpso of civilization that tho "swamp angel" has hud in many year?, and ho enjoyed it much. Two men named Cummlngs and Uryson, living at Memphis, came over into tho swamps a short time ago fish ing and hunting, and knowing old Mitchell only by reputation thoy fired several shots at him, onu of thorn in dicting a painful wound. Tho old man Iny low for a while, thon arming himself ho got a canoe nnd mado pur suit. Ho found tho trail n difficult one, but boing thoroughly acquainted witli every nook in tho great rivor, ho kuow that unless thoy took to land ho would eventually overtake thorn. Ho follow ed thorn sovcnty-livo mllos docu stream and thon lost then. Ho waitod thero threo or four days without find ing a trace of them, but at lougth ho was informed that thoy had gono north, nnd ho started nfte'r thorn. Dur ing all tliis long chase lie' passod al most his eutirn time in his dugout, and only went ashore as ho found it necessary in order to lay iu provis ions. At length ho found thorn, near his own swamp. Ho had gono ashore in tho brush in order to ccok n littlo cof fee, and, hearing voices, pcerod out on tho river. Thero wns a boat, with Cummlngs, Bryson, and an unknown man in it. Seizing his rilles. the old man made for a troo and ononcd fire. tho men in tho boat standing up and returning it with great spirit. At Mitchelrs second shot Cummings droppoi and fell into tho river. Ho next brought down Bryson, who nlo foil out of tho boat. Tho stranger was thon left standing nlono. with a revolver in each hand, with which ho was making tho bark on the old man's treo fly. Mitchell took careful aim and fired, nnd tiio stranger dropped in tho boat, which was drifting slowly down strenin. Satisfying himself that the job hud been well-done, tho old man got into his ennoo and cauio up to his hut, whero ho rested a day or two, and then, with tho idoa of tolling how it happened, ho cumo to town and reported. In conversation Mitchell is vory agreeable. He said to the sliorifi'liore: "This here last little difficulty of mine was on u bigger scale than anything that I've ever boon iu before, aud that's what troubled mo u littlo. You see, I know a white man's rights ev ery time, and I wouldn't botheryou at all with this matter only I wanted tho thing all straight. If it ain't all straight just put your clamps on mo. If it is I waut to bo getting back to business. I've had shooting before, but only ono at a time, aud overyono of them was of some cuss who want ed to murder mo. I'm a harmless man, and yet I never shoot without hitting something. It's boon my luck always to be ou the defensive. Every man that I've been compelled to kill has como at mo wronir, and I wouldn't harm anybody If everybody would lot mo alone. Tho reason that l'vo never been in before is because vou wero busy, und 1 know there w"'un't any case iigatust me. If this lust thing is ull right I'll get back to the swamp." As no coimdaint has buoii filed, the swamp angel is evidently to lio left un disturbed by tho nuthorltos. Witli n littlo better understanding between him and tho follows that prowl around his headquarters and take him for n wild man thero might bo loss blood shod. Lord Dudley's Heavy Bets. Thoso sporting papers which havo alluded to the sensational wages with which tho luto Earl of Dudley usod from time to time to astonish the rac ing world have somehow omitted to record the lust hot which ho over made, ami which consisted in laying 10,000 to 1,000 on Petrarch, at As cot, for the twenty-third Trionnial, when Morning Star won. Into tho circumstances of that momorablo rueo wo have no wish to inquire. Lord Dudley, it is woll known, rcfusod to sottlo tho bet for somo weeks after ward, and did not ougnsro in any sub sequent turf transactions. Ho had not, indeed, paid a visit to any race courso of recent years, und hud long since ceased to tnko any interest in the "snort of kings." Hi's wagers, a9 a rule, were very successful ones wero chiefly negotiated on tho olnsslo races. UohadU.000 to 2,000 about Koino for tho Oaks of 1872, nnd in a lntor , year nottod an equally lnrgo amount by tho successes of Mario Stownrt, Apology and Spinawuy. With many racing men tho story of his having offered to hot 20,000 to 10,000' ou MuOgregor for tho Derby ot 1870 la vory fnmlllar. Tho lato Mr. J. B. Morris wns tho bookmaker who on that occasion dcellnod the sensational wngor, only to boo Macgregor bonton a qunrtor of an hour afterward. His footings may bo imagined. Whitehall Itevicw. Disposal of tho Dead. "A stntomont mado by tho counsol for tho Greenwood cemetery associa tion at tho recent investigation into tho management of tho cotuetory's af fairs Is ono to mako pooplo think moro of cremation than over before," said n gontlomnn who was present at tho in vestigation to a Mail ami Exprcm ro portor. "This wns, that It was most injudloious to allow relatives or frionds to bo present when remains which had long boon iu a grnvo woro tnkon out to be transferred to somo othor place, bo oauso tho collln was likely to navo be come decayed aud tho remains had to be takeu up with a shovel. Just think of that! I actually hollo vo I'd rather havo tho i. rn iden adopted iu pluco of tho presonv. burial system, odd ns it Rooms." An officor of a cromatlon company, when asked by a reporter for particu lars regarding tho mode of disposing of tho dead suggested by tho abovo remark, said that from all observations cremation is destined at no dlstnnt day to suporsodo tho praotico ot grave burials becauso it had nono of their offensive features. "Ab how conduct ed at Gotha. Milan, and othor points of Europe," ho added, "cremation Is not for a moment to bo confounded with tho oflunstvo custom of burning on tho opon pyre, ni practiced by tho nncionts. It is effected in n super heated air chamber, which allows no contact of Hnmo or f uol with tho body, whilo all tho gasos and vc.lntllo pro ducts of combustion nro completely re generated aud rondorod innocuous nnd odorloss boforo boing liberated. Why, nn approved modorn crematory might bo erected in Madison square, and but for transporting tho dead bodios thithor, could not bo nn offonso to any ono. Tho procoss Is accompanied with no ropulslvo sight, sound, smell, noiso or smoko." "What is this procoss?" was nsked. "Tho bodv. covered with a nail, is placed on a catafalque in tho chapel or reception hall, whenco it descends noiselessly by menus of an olovator to tho Incinerating chamber. This, by means of superheated air, lias boon raised to a whito boat at a Umipora turo of about 2,000 dcirrcos fahrenhoit. When oponed to receive tho body tho in-rushing cold air cools this chamber to a dollcato roso tint, nnd the body, after remaining an fiottr In this bath of rosy light, is complotoly decomposed. Nothing remains but a few pouuds (about 4 por cent of tho original weight) of clean, pure, pearly ashes. Theso aro then taken out and put in an Urn of terra cotta, marblo. or othor suilnblo matorial, and placed in a nlcho of the columbarium or delivered to the friends of tho deceased." "What is tho usual cost of crema tion?" "Tho cost of such a disposal of tho human body, after It readies tho cre matory, is from 810 to 25, according to circumstances. To this may bo ndded, if desired, $5 for an urn and 10 each for a nicho iu tho colum barium, whore tho urn may bo kept, with an inscribed tablet placed in tho wall bolow tho nlcho commomorntivo of tho deceased. Thus tho ontiro ox ponso would not bo ovor 50. New York Mail and Kxurcsn. 11 - limn ii -H f li-iw Tho Publisher Crushed. "I am, indeed, glad to hoar that you aro prospering in journowspnperven tureV said a gentlomau to tho editor. "Thuuks," responded tho quill driver. "Yes, I am indcod, glad to hear that vou aro doing so well. A man who lias struggleiralong so bravely us you have, deserves to bo successful. Close application and porsUtunt work do mnnds recognition. Seo how I lmvo labored, long aud most industriously, aud cau look bnok to the tlmo when a dollar wttb as big us a curt wheel, but, by preservanco and hard work, I havo been enabled to oniut my wealth by tho thousands." "Fortune has, indeed, favored you." "It has for u fact, and the heroic ef forts of every man should bo fully ap preciated by those who have a sou) within him, and is financially able to do so." "True, evory word of it," said tho oditor, who was now assured that a two dollar subscription wns almost within his grasp, and another honored name would find itself on tho "an uoiutod list" of Ills subscribers. But you kuow us publishers experience great dilllculty in collecting our sub scription money, wo are put off with various excuses, and winr out our sums in our frantic efforts to collect what Is due us." "What is ho subscription prico to your paper?" uked tho gentleman as ho put his hand in his pocket. "Only two dollars," replied tho edi tor. "Only two dollars a year, post ugo paid." "Let mo seo," suid the gentleman, "that's only Hvo cents a week, cheap enough, lou may &eud it to mo for u yoar. ' Tho editor smiled a beautiful smile, which wus instantaneously trans inogrllicd into u scowl that wasn cross between tho laugh of a frightened dude, and the biiarl of a subdued nurion, when tho gentleman concluded by saying: ""Henrs live conts for tho next issue, nnd you cuu send your boy to the house evory Saturday and collect tho same amount. I like to eucourago home talout." PntztVs Weekly. American earpjt-iunkers ure excelling their Kug.Uh competitor iu srlUile achievements. Aiuirlcau nrllmns aud ait.tU have so often tboHu that tlict cau. If properly eu con Tuned, come off triumphantly Iu auy Held of rivalry, that It behooves American buyer to wholly abandou their utipalural wora'ilp of Europ au traie uurka. The Current. FACT AND FAKCY. A public safety commlttoo of onn hundred has boon organized in How Orleans to reform tho bad local gov ernment. About fifty thousand peonlo visit tho White mountains during' tho sum mer nnd fall. The hotels can accom modate about twolvo thousand souls at ono time. Tho guests avorago a stay of two weeks. Tho will of a morohnntof Troy, after boing boforo tho courts for sav oral vears on tho suit of a Bister, has finally boon established as valid. Tho cost of tho coutpst has boon $.10,000 nearly hnlt of tho amount involved. "What did vou mean by tolling that infernal lle?"'"Whut Ho?" "You said 5 'ou wero with Grunt at tho battle of hill Htm. Grant wns not at Bull Hun at all." "Wasn't ho?" "No, ho wasn't." "Woll, thou, thoro ain't no lio out, for I wasn't thoro, olthor." A man in n smoking car on a Dan bury aud Norwulk railway train lean ed ovor to n uitin who sat In front of him and said: "Have you a match?" "Yes but I havon't got any cigar," was the prompt reply. "Titen yott can't want tho match, ' said tho man, sweetly. A young minister of Oglothorpo county, Georgia, in ordor to ntiso funds for his Sunday scnool, requests tho scholars in the school to bring au egg ovory Sunday, for which ho pays them, and by rcsolllng tho eggs se cures tho needed money to moot tho expenses of tho school. "I say, Longshot, vhoro's tho Irish sottor you hunted with la9t Boason?" "Oh, 1 had to shoot him. Good dog; cost mo 985 wliea a pup." "What was tho matter wjth him?" "Hydro phobia; worst wny." "Sure?" "Yes, howled nnd hnu fits ovory tinio a milk wagon passed the house." A houso nt Schenectady, N. Y., was for a long timo infestod by roaches aud water-bugs. Last fall a servant, hear ing that toads woroan antidote, caught threo ordinnrv hop toads and put them in tho kitchen. Not a ronuh or water-bug can now bo fouud in tho house. Tho toads havo become domes ticated, novor wandor about tho house, and aro so cleanly and liioflonslvo that thoro Is uo objection to tlioir prosonco. A professional athloto prints Instruc tions "how to walk up stairs without getting tired." Pnh! Any fool can do that if ho'll Only tako enough time. What tho American pooplo want to know Is how to walk up stairs at 2 a. tu. in the dark without falling down twico, wakinguptho wholohouso, and taking ono oxtra stop after reaching tho top. It's stopping up tho stop that Isn't thero thnt shakes mnn's faith in tho integrity of tho human organism. "Lot us go back," said tho scientist, beginning his lecture, "into tho dim past of tho Tortlnry ages." And his audience arose as ono man, and left tho hall. Thoy didn't objeot to going bnck to tho Tertiary ages particular ly, but thoy didn't proposo to start off ou such n reinoto oxcursion with out feeling pretty certain that tho re turn tickets wouldn't oxpiro boforo tho homo trip was concluded. Any body can go to tho Tertiary ages; it doesn't require a 'scientist to tuko us thore. Tho trouble is to gat back hi-re ngnin. Two Kansas City young ladies wore lately mado acquainted with grief tnrougn tuo instrumentality ot castor beans. Two goutlomon wugorod that they could eat moro of them than the ladies, nnd swallowed two or throe; tho girls ato a dozen or moro ouch. It was rather dangerous" business. Tho symptoms of poisoning wero painfully severe, nnd lasted several hours, leav ing tho patients greatly prostrated. Hicinine, tho toxic prfncfplo of tho bean, is an acrid poison. A number of writers report deaths from eating castor-beans. A Bridgeport druggist has discov ered a compound which, whon applied to a base-ball, render that object lum inous. Ono of tho drawbacks of play ing ba?o-ball nt night under tho elec tric light Is tho inability to soo tho bull when thrown or nnttcd into tho air with tho black night background of sky behind it. By saturating it with tho new compound tho ball whilo in motion is luminous. At rest it does not givo out -auy light. Tho illumin ating ball retains its meteoric irrita tion for forty-live minutes. Two or threo therefore, would bo required to play a gamo of nino innings, and sov oral could bo kept in picklo to that cud. A new summer "cottago" at Long Branch shows to what extent of com fort tho modorn resort has attained. The interior oi tho cottago is finished in natural woods, olivo, bainboo.chost nut, cherry, ash, English oak, and other woods richly curved by hand. Thero ure no insido doors on tho lower tidor, with tho execution of those which cut off tho butler's pantry from the hall nnd dining-room. Somo of tho elegancies aro largo panels con taining historical scenes in colored sill; tapestry, a huge Moorish Hreplaco surmounted with quaintly-designed iron-work, stuiued-gluns wiudows, in laid flooring, an electric-bell system through the houso, and model plumb ing. Tho library is fitted up in tho Japanese style, and has a heavy blue silk canopy colling, ou which dranous nnd other fabulous reptiles disport themselves. Tho a.sertiou is mado by tho Phila delphia papers that fiction was re sponsible for tho met that Odium dropped from tho Brooklyn bridge. Ouo of tho story papers published a tale, in tho first chanter of which tho heroine was do-cribed as attempting suicide by falling from a considerable hoight into the water below. Tho ro mance was advertised throughout tho country by means ot huge posters con taining a big picture of tuo descend ing girl. Thero soomed to bo somo thing fascinnting in tho idea. Threo suicides wero ropnrted from as many parts of tho country in eloso imita tion of tho imaginary ono. Odium was thon in Philadelphia, whero a girl undertook to realize tho romance; and it was tho reading of hor case, it is declared, that put tho project luto lila liaml rt ra1ttlrifv tintni'iaK lii atinli a leap as at length killed h.m.