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About Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190? | View Entire Issue (July 31, 1896)
, ..WWIW WI'W WHWWI ' - 'H l(hi It" li" MR. AND MR3. BOWSER. BY MRS. nOW8F.IL I think wo'll go up to this park to sorrow," said Mr. Bowser tho othor Saturday evening as ho finished his dff&r. "But won't It bo dreadfully crowdodP" X quorlod. There you gol You are always rsay to opposo anything I suggest" "Iaanot opposing you, only you" know that tho boats aro always crowd ed on Sunday, and that ono Is apt to neat with lawless characters. I havo Iteard you say that tho placo was ia poocsIon of a mob all day Sunday." "Noverl On tho contrary I havo al ways boasted of how orderly it was. J guarantop that you can go up thoro nlono and stay all day and you will bo treated llko a quoon." "Well, if you think wo had best go, why " "Of courso I do. I think a llttlo trip on tho water will do us nil good, end at tho island wo will seek somo sylvan retreat and enjoy tho boautio at tho surroundings." "And you you won't got mad?" "lira. Bowser, what do you meanp" "If things U not go right you won't scold and blame everything to moP" . "Havo you gono mad? Whoa did I evor blamo youP If you suspect that you aro getting softening of tho brain lot mo know and I'll havo a insdlcal examination," Aftor dinner noxt day wo modo a start J think Mr. Bowsor started with tho firm dotormtnatlon to koop his good nature at every hazard, but something occurred almost immediately to upsot him. Tho street car was jamb-full and running over, but it stopped nnd wo wedged our way in. In tho Bqueozo somo ono stopped on Mr. Bowser's corn, ocoe ono elso knocked his plus hat off, and another person was hoard to re mark that If he weighed a ton ho would charter a special car when ho wanted to ride. This put Mr. Bowsor in trim to say to tho conductor: , "Doos tho manager of this lino think wo aro a lot of hogs that wo can bo packed in an old car this woyP" "Don't know, sir." : "Thou you'd bettor find outl It's an insult on docont pooplo, and I for ono fon't proposo to submit to it!" "Thoz rlzo, olo fol'rl" shouted a half drunkon man from tho front of tho car. "Go in, old bay1 windowl" nddod a second. "Ton to ono on old Bowsor," yolled a man from tho roar platform. We finally got down to tho boat It was bluck with humanity and I didn't want to go, but Mr. Bowsor olbowod right and loft and I followed. Aftor bring crowdod, pushed, jamb, squcozed, and knocked about for ton minutes I got a chair which a drunkon man had just fallon off, and Mr. Bowsor found stand ing room bosldomo. "I told you I thought tho boats would be crowdod," I remarked as soon as I could got my breath. "Well, that shows nil you knew about it There's no crowd on this hoat Sho could carry as many again." "But what a rough sot of people!" "No rougher than wo are. You sim ply want to find fault and mako mo un comfortable." Just at that momont a tough came up, looked Mr. Bowser over from crown, to hool, and then said: "You look llko tho bloko who throw inud at mo llttlo slstor lost May." "Sir! You aro mlstaken!"repllod Mr. Bowsor. "What or you doln' wid all that stoilo on P" demanded tho tough as ho brought his arm around and gavo Mr. Bowser's hut a "swat" which sont It flying to tho deck. Mr. Bowser grabbod him nnd thoro would havo beon a fight had not a num ber of men 'ntorforod. Whon tho hut was recovered It had a shoulder bludo and three ribs broken, and in tho brief clinch tho tough had torn away Mr. Bowser's necktie. "I'm so sorry wo camo," I said as I got a chanco to spoak to him. "You know I told you I thought It would bo very unpleasant" "Yes, of courso you ore sorryl You can't boar to see mo enjoying mysolf t I wasn't uwnro that anything unpleas ant had occurred." la getting off tho boat at tho Island somo ono stopped on my dress-skirt nnd nearly tore it off, whllo Mr. Bowser's hat was crushod down over his oyes and fomo ono picked his cigar-enso out or hat cont-tuil pocket Wo finally got out of the crowd and wandered away until wo reached a shady spot and then it did seem as If wo might tuko some comfort I began to oxpress my sympathy for Mr. Bowser, whoa ho turned on mo with: "Whon I want to bo condolod with, I'll let you know. Thus far wo havo had a real good tlmo, aud I don't wnnt to hoar any moro kicking about It" "This Is tho sylvan retreat you spoko of, I suppose?" I remarked as I lookod around nnd saw cigar 6tubs, playing cards, protzols, beer bottlo corUs und a rusty old cork-scrow lying on tho grass. IIo didn't say. Ho was going to. whon a couple of young men camo that way and stopped nnd asked Mr. Bowser for a match to light their elny-plpos. Ho didn't havo any, nnd ono of thorn said: "Wcll,yor noodn't bo so crusty about It ,Wo aro just as good as you are," "And a blamed sight bettor, Jim!" added tho othor. "I've seen this old fcungee up hero every Sunday this ummer, and ho's always had a dif ferent woman with him! Uo's up to snuff and don't you forgot lt,f Mr. Bowser jumped up, but both of them pilod on to him and I screamed and brought assistance Thoy split his coat up tho back, toro his eolllar off and toro threo buttons off his voat and as thoy wont away thoy threatened to como nnd finish blm off. "Mr. Bowsor." I said aftor tho Crowd had started, "hadn't wo hotter go homoP" "No, ma'am, wo hadn't! I camo up hero to enjoy mysolf nnd I'm bound to do so." I coaxed and argued, but ho was ob stinate, and protty soon something clso happened. A gang of fivo or six men cams along, ripo for mis chief, and ono of thorn halted beforo Mr. Bowsor and lnqulrod: "Shay, olo fol, I lost a dollar hero about aa hour ngo, and you picked It up." "You aro mlstakon, sir." "Csurso ho did!" put in a secoad tough, "and ho's got to glvo it up!" "I havon't seen anything of your dol lar!" hotly replied Mr. Bowser, and tho gang was making taroots vfaea I ran for help. Boforo I got back thoy had rolled Mr. Bowsor on tho grass, taken, all his ohnngo away, and cuftod him about un til ho presented a Bad sight Then tho pollcomaa who had como too lato advised him: "Say, old man, you'd bettor go homo. You'vo had fivo or six rows within an hour, and I shall havo to run you in if you don't loavo. You aro evidently a desporato character." Mr. Bowsor boconod to mo nnd led tho way to tho boat On tho way dowa ho was pointed out as Sullivan and KUraln, and ovorybody had a gibe at him. At tho wharf ho hired a hack to tako us homo, aud not a word would ho Bpcak to mo all tho way up. Whon wo finally got into tho houso ho lockod tho door of tho sitting-room and sat down in front of mo and snid: "Mrs. Bowsor, look at mo!" "Yos, its awful! I was afraid it would tura out this way." "And yet nothing would do but you must go!" "Why, I didn't want to go ono stop!" "Tako care! You aro to blamo for this wholo busluossl I havo borno and homo, but tho worm has finally turned at last Mako out a list of what furni ture you want to'koop nnd lot us Bottlo on tho amount of tho alimony." Wo dld'nt Bottlo, howovor. IIo felt hotter noxt day and I don't think ho will rofor to tho matter again unless I bring it up. Detroit Free Tress. How a Boiton Hat Utilised Hit Tall. A waltor at tho Metropolitan hotel on Washington stroot according to tho Boston Globe, says thoro is a rat of un usual lntolllgonco which haunts tho hotel kitchen and whon occasion offers steals food from, tho cook. IIo says this rat ought to bo caught and exhibited as a marvel at tho dlmo museums. Sever al stories of sagacity aro told about this rodent of which tho following is ono: "A few ovonings ago," said tho waltor, "I had occasion to go down into tho kitchen. It ivas dusk whon I ar rived, and as sooa ns my oyoa would pormit mo to got usod to tho light I saw a largo rat walk dollberatoly up to a dish of doughnuts and begin to tako them out ono by ono and string thorn on his tail ns you would string beads. Whon ho had put on fivo and huidcd his tall up ho turnod around, took tho end of his tall In his tooth, nnd walkod oft as if ho wore going to muster." Initantaneoos Photography. "Instantaneous photography is a nulsanco," said an artist wh oso busi ness is to draw cuts for tho raaguzinos nnd news papers. "Boforo thoy bognn to tako thoso blamed .photographs all you had to do was to draw a horso bo that It lookod natural and lifelike and tho papers and tho publio woro satis fied. Now, though, slnco that Phila delphia follow printed his book, and especially slnco tho Sun reprinted tho cuts from It, nothing will do but that wo must draw running horses just as thoy are, and not as thoy look. Of courso tho pictures don't look nearly so protty, and tho horses aro as aw k ward and unnatural as donkeys, but thoy aro accurate, and that is tho crazo just now. Wo havo had to learn our animal drawing all over agaia and havo to puzzlo our brains by tho hour over cuts of Instantnnoous photographs, trying to find somo position that has ut loast a bit of grace and lifo in it For my part I think it Is ridiculous. Com pare tho mugazlno pictures of horso of a year or two ago with those Scrlbnor's had last month and tell mo If you don't think tho old ones gave a better Idea of tho animals In motion. Imnglne Itosa Bonheur's horses with tholr fore foot stuck out straight llko ramrods, or think of Moissonlor's troopers charging boforo Napoleon on horses that had all four logs doublod up under thorn at tho same tlmo!" Whatovor may bo tho opinion as to tho justness of tho artist's criticisms and complaints, says tho Now York Sun, thoro is no doubt that ho is right on his facta. Tho horso pictures in tho magazlnos nowadays nearly all show at loast an effort to make tho positions correspond with thoso shown by Instantaneous photographs. Tho picture horse of tho past is relegated to tho circus poster and the bills of tho racing associations. THE WONDER OF CAJAH POND. It Is Pull of Floating Islands from Whlon Fisherman Troll for Plokorol. A dispatch in a Now York pnpor from a placo ia Minnesota announcing as a romnrkahlo fact tho discovery of a floating Island in a small lako in that stato inclines tho residents of this neighborhood, says a Honcedalo (Pa.) lottor to tho Now York Sun, to tho bo llcf that if ono floating island in a Btuto bo famous for natural curiosities as Minnesota is considered as a won dor they havo been living all tholr lives with a sttll greater wonder close by without attaching any groat impor tance to It Thoy havo a lnko a mile from Ilonosdnlo which Is filled with floating islands. This lako is known locally as Cajah pond. It is 200 foot nbovo tho village It is dottod with a dozen or atore islands. Thcso aro covered with trees, 80mo of thorn twenty foot high, and a donso growth of thiok-follagcd bushes. Tho island bottoms aro marshy, but tho soil Is Btlff enough to sustain easily tho wolght of tho fisbssfnon who troll for pickerel from 4ho Islands in the Bummor fishing season. In tho sura mor thoso llttlo islands nro pleasing ing variations ia tho boauty of tho Bccno tho lako presonts to tho specta tor as ho gazes upon It from tho hills that onclrclo It If tho wind happens to bo strong nnd variable, as It goner ally is on tho lako, tho visitor who looks upon tho lako for tho, first tlmo can hardly help bolng startled to boo thoso islands moving about from one point of tho compass to anothor as tho wind shifts. On ono day thoso islands may bo soon huddlod togothor in ono spot, and on anothor day perhaps thoy will be 80on scattered wldoly apart An island from which tho fisherman casts his lino at ono ond of tho lako to-day will In all probability invito htm to it from tho othor extremity to-morrow. Tho largost of thoso islands was somo yoars ago partial to tho lower end of tho lako, and huggod tho shoro thoro with only slight changes in posl tloa day ia and day out During a Btlff wind ono day this Island tacked first to ono sldo and then to tho othor sldo of tho lako, moving slowly tho whllo to tho upper ond until It was floated against tho shoro at that ond. It romalnod thoro for two yoars through somo of tho hardest wlndB that blow off that shoro. Ono day whllo thrco plckorol flshormon wflro fishing from tho Island's outer odgo It suddonly was oolzcd with a whim, Induced or prompt ed only by a gentlo wind, nnd boforo tho flshormon know it thoy found thomBolvos fifty foot from shoro. Tho Island fioatod Blowly across tho lake until it had almost reached the shoro, whon a countor-broozo struck it nnd sent it down tho lako. It finally landed near tho spot whoro It started from n yoar ngo, and It has remained In that vicinity over slnco, simply talcing a short trip now and -thon to nnd fro acroBS tho lake, but always retur nlng to or noar lta mooring. Although thoso fair islands aro con stantly shifting tholr places In tho lako thoy annually add percoptlbly to tholr area. Thoro aro bIx or eight of thorn and tho Bolontlflo theory is that in timo tho roots of tho trees that cover thorn will oxtond down into tho water so far that thoy will anchor tho island in tho lake, and that by tho Blow but certain processos of nature thoy will bo incrcasod In slzo until tho sur face of tho lako will becomo solid land. Cnriout Cause of Doath. A fortnight ngo Aaron Smith loft this city for S wanton, O., to superin tend his fathor's ostato. Shortly after arriving ho became iW, and died a few days lator. A post mortem examina tion wiis hold. Tho result of tho In vestigation was singular. A large art ery had grown botwoon tho heart and lungs, and tho -lungs were ns hard us Btono, caused, It was supposed by tho physicians, from Inhaling Iron dust at tho safo works whore ho was omployed. In tho heart was an opening of about half an Inch, caused by his severe efforts mado to breathe.--Philadelphia Inquirer. Ho Beturned the Compliment. "Ono of tho funniest Incidents that hnppened undor my observation during tho lato war," said Colonol Mosby, "occurred In a cavalry fight In tho Shenandoah Vnlloy along In 1861. In tho midst of a sharp cavalry engage ment with Sheridan's men, In a ehnrgo near Berryvlllo, there came crushing llko a whirlwind Into our linos a Yankee soldier on a big black horso. A score of moa tried to stop horso and rider, but tho old black's blood was up and ho wont on cloan through tho lines boforo ho was undor control, Tho rider was sont to Llbby Prison and wo mustered tho black charger Into tho Confederate Service. A few days lator wo charged somo of Custer's men, and I'll bo If that old horso didn't return tho compli ment by carrying a 'reb' Into tho Fed eral lines and novor camo back." Washington Post Cologne Cathedral Struck by Lightning. Tho big stono cross on tho south tower of tho Cologno cathedral was struck and smashed by lightning re cently. Great pieces of It fell to tho pavement with such velocity that thoy were crushod to powd6r. Two mon lost tholr lives In placing the cross or rlgln ally. Tho perllious job of repair ing tho damago just dono will be un dertaken within a fow weeks. DOCTORED WATERMELON. An Inrnelon of TVIne nnd Brandy Make ttie ITuir Tnato'Gbod. Now that tho watermelon season is on In its full glory, and tho story that aatlko bad stoppod tho Importation has turnod out untrno, a word may bo In season as to how to prepare a molon for eatiag. Thoro am many ways of eat ing tho splendid fruit aud the recipes generally given aro long and Intricate There is ono method so easy that any one may- followlt." Get a good1 melon; and If you oan't toll ysursolf by that Intuition which is tho bost guldo in such matters, then trust to your groon goods grocor's judgomont Havo tho molon put on lco ovor night and in tho morning sco that tho surface Is wlpod dry. Thon out a slit with a long knifo straight from ono sido Into the vory heart of tho molon. Lot tho slit bo an Inch and a half wide. Cut throo other slits so that you can lift out tho plug thus made. Pour into tho liolo eonio good clnret Lot It spread through the rod spongy fruit, nnd pour some moro wino in until jou havo auccodod In getting in at loast a pint of the grape juice. Thon plug up tho melon nnd put It baok Into tho refrigerator. Af ter an hour or soou can put la tho rest of a quart of claret Tho melon will drink up tho wino and ovory part of tho spougo wilt be come saturated if from hour to hour tho position of tho big ogg-shnpod fruit bo changed from sido to sldo and from oud to end. Tho wino should bo put in from six fo eight hours boforo din nor timo. An hour nnd a half before dinner tako out tho plug and tasto the fruit You will find it surpr.slngly delicious and yot perhaps tho flavor will bo not quite so pronounced as you would liko It In this ovont pour in from-half a pint to a wholo pint of brandy. Soo that the molon Is closely wrapped up and havo it turnod at least twico and kopt on ico for tho noxt hour. It will then bo ready for serv ing. Somotlmos it la pleasant to surpriso guests with a pluggod piolou. Say nothing about wino having been put in tho fruit and whon It is brought on tho tablo tako care that if in tho cutting anyoxtra juico comos from tho fruit that somo of it shall go with each ploco of molou. Thoro is an odd llttlo Italian restaurant in a placo in this oity whoro ono night not long ngo a plugged watermelon was sorvod. No ono ex cept ono of the dinars know nbout it When it was brought on nnd the party began tnstlng what appeared to bo an ordinary watormolon, there was In stantly noticed a clinngo in tho do monaor of every one. Thov sniffed In the air and lookod nt ouoh othor, and than sniffed agam. Thoro was no sus picion thon that tho watormolon was of a more than ordinary kind. But aftor two or throe mouthfuls somo one remarked tho peculiarly rich taste and tho oxquisito aroma, and thon lie secret was out Thoro weren't nianr people in tho pnrty, and tho melon was a fairly big one, but it was all oaton, evory bit of It Notwithstanding tho splendid offer ing to the palate that pluggod water melon makes, it is remarkable that not many peoplo have oaten it and thnt you can't get it readily at tho hotels and restaurants. Onco In a while somo chef puts forth watormolon fritters or freezes tho fruit but oven If thoso forms were not costly and difficult to obtain they would soon tire tho appe tite. With walcriuoiou soaked in wine It In different If you llko the fruit in its plain stato you will probably liko It bettor with claret and brandy, and If you liko to eat lots of it plain you will want st II moro of It "plugged." A good wino to uso instead of olaret Is tho Italian shorry-colorod wine, called Marsuln. tertian with- n din ner where much claret has been drunk tho Marsala would go hotter as afford ing a contrast In taslo. If you get genuine Marsala you will havo some thing good, and you can reflect that the wine comes from that celebrated spot In Sicily which, now known as Marsala, was originally Lily boom, tho placo where the Ctirtliagonians had their clpof fortress iu Trinacria. New York Sun. A Handsome Surprise. Tho departments of the United States government aro usually decorous places carried on with solemnity and dignity, and not given to scenes; nevertheless, something oecurod at tho pension of flco not long ngo, which makes one wish Dickens woro alive to do it full justice nobody elso could; bnt still it is too good to lose entirely. The usual work was going on In one of tho rooms, when suddenly a sound of bumping nnd thumping became audible, aud thon a struggling, thump ing, irregular no se as if a section of stono wall were trying to walk upstairs and found It needed more jo nts than had been supposed. It grew louder and louder, and was accompanied onco in a while by a fulnt sound of a voice remonstrating as if the stono wall took it hard nnd wnutod to glvo it up. It drew nenrer and then stoppod outsldo tho door with a final bump and thump; and a sort of a triumphant grunt from tho accompanying voico. Then tho door opened and a man with sweat standing on his forehead, throwing tho door wide open, engineered with another serlos of thumps a largo, flat white stono around in front of tho os tonishod clerk, and said, "There!" in triumphant tones. "Thoro! now per haps you'll believe me. I brought vou papers and afildavits no end, nnd you wouldn't belioro them. Perhaps you'll believe this when you see his tombstone. Thore you road It 'Sacred to tho uiomorr of J S . Ereeted by his bereaved widow.' His tombstone is hero beforo your eyes to provo lie's dead, and now perhaps you'll believe It;" aud he sat down and wined his forehead. The astonished clerk road the epi taph, but without tho crestfallen air the advaucer of tombstones oxpectud. A gleam of a smile uppjared around his oyes and at the corners of his mouth. Ho turned to n man sitting noar, a man with a damaged-looking face, mid with clothes tho worsn for wear. ,i - log dono up In a frowsy way with oar-o bandagos. "Well, I wouldn'-t a.thought "It of Sarah Jane," and ho smote ills othor leg with a fat band, bristling with hairs. 1 must say It's handsome in hor all tho sanio I'm glad I ain't under it 'Toin't of ton n man reads his own epitaph;" nnd ho turned to tho othor who had brosght it in, with a rough grin, an appreciation of tho scono com ing over him. "You you meant to loavo hor you ain't dead?" stammered tho othor. "I ain't half dead, ',n I .nioan't to loavo hor till I hoard sho was got tin a pension on my merits, 'n I couldn't stand that She n-rolllng In luxury nnd mo a hard workln' man. l'vo como back to roll, too, or elso spoil hor fun." Tho advancer of tombstonos arose and prepared to withdraw with his strong proof. "Of all tho moan mon" aud thou ho paused, unablo to think of any parallol, and a thought occurred 'to him. "You'll bo wnnlln' this somo tlmo; hadn't ypu hotter bo taking it against the need?" But the damagod man wavod It away "Tho dato would Washington Letter. bo wrong.' Kenson Why ilea Whistle. Whistling was invoutod to giro a man n chanco to add a noiso to othor othor noises iu creation. Tho otho r noises in nature are all attuned to tho character of tho articlo that produces them. Tho brcozo makes its gentlo sigh, tho brook has Us peculiar sound, tho storm has Its crash and its roar. Everything mado a nolso In tho world exeopt man whon ho was alono. A man can't talk to hinisolf; it Is idiotic, although it is astonishing how many peoplo do it A cough is not a vory onjoyabl o sound, and it Irritates tho luugs to produco It A snoezo nlways goes with a cold iu tho head Truo, a man can sing; that is. ho can try to sing, but if it is at all agrooablo It seems somehow to bo wasted if somo body tins not paid an admission feo to hoar it That's why women havo such a tcrtiblo ruputation for talking. Thoy can't whistle, nnd thov liavo noth ing to roliovo the restraint "when thev aro alone; so whon thoy got hold of anybody thov make up for It But whistling was invented to con coal music. You don't nood to have music in your soul to whistle. It is simply tho noiso of a vacant mind. Tho loud laugh ot Olivor Goldsmith that bcspenKs tho vacant mind applies to a crowd. Tho whistlo shows tho vacant mind in Its solitary state. When you hoar a man whistlo who pul pahly does not know a tune, ho is elthor a good follow or a bnd follow. DM you ovor notlco that Jews don't whistlo much? Thoy haven't got much vacant mind. When it Isn't neoded iu tholr own business thoy rent It to oth or businesses. But of all whlstlors tho young gentlomnn going homo nbout 1 o'clock in tho morning, who whistlos "II Trovatoro" with nil tho band parts, takes the bakery. Sun Francisco Chronicle. About Noted Huuchbakci Hunchbacks form a tolorably numer ous list, says a writer in tho Qcntlc rn'iu's Magazine. Thoro Is that brilliant soldier, tho Marochal do Lexomburg, of whom Mucaulny writos in ono of his most flnishod passagos: "Highly descended nnd gifted as ho was, he had with dlfllculty surmounted tho obstacles which impeded him on the road to fame. If ho owod much to the bounty of nature and forluuo, ho had suffered still moro from their spite. His features woro frightfully linrsh; his stature diminutive; a hugo and pointed hump roso on his back.'1 Tho reader knows tho hunchback Richard of Shakespeare's powerful drama, but historical research seems to havo delivered tho king from his birdou and to havo shown thnt ho was only high shouldered. Lord Lytton. in his "Last of tho Barons." has adopted tho modern view: "Though the back was not curved," lie says, "yot ono shoulder was slightly higher than tho other, which was tho moro obsorvcblo from tho ovidnnt pains ho look to disguise it and tho gorgeous splendor, savoring of personal cox combry from which no Plantagonet wus over free that ho exhibited in his dross. Tho great minister of Queen Elizabeth, William Cecil, Lord Burleigh; tho learned Gorman theolo gian. Eber. our "glorious doliverer William III.;" tho famous General of Spain, tho Duko of Parma, these were all "crook backs." Tho pool Podo had a protuberance' on tho back and in the front nnd ono of his sidos was contracted. Quay Waa Always Shrewd. """""" An incident that oecurod whon Sen ator Quay was a toddler six years old will serve to illustrato the innate shrew ness of tho man. His father, who was a Presbyterian minister, brought homo a httlo pocket B.blo and a tin sword ono day and offered young Matt his cholso. Matt wanted tho sword and lie wanted tho Biblo. But tho father meant to give ono of tho two presents to tho lnd's sister, who was a yoar Ins junior. Young Quay roasonod to him self that if he chose tho Biblo nnd left tho sword to his sister tho lattor would soon tire of tho weapon, it not being a girl's tor. and he would then got them both. Ho selected the Bible, and In a fe.w hours his sister had discarded tho sword. I'iiluJdi hiu Record. gov Following Instructions. "Itemember, Bridget." said Miss Clara, "that I am out to everybody but Mr. Sampson." A llttlo later Briitgot answered a ring at tho door. Who was it Bridget?" asked Miss Clara. "Young Misthor Benunecamp, mum." "And d.d you say Hint I was imtP" "i'ls; I ed vez were out to very bod v but Mr. Sampson." New Protection Agalnit Files. . Tho plaguo- of '11169 'touches a very tender spot tho pockotbook for it causes animals to loso fleih. or at loast to mako loss gain than thoy would otherwise. By affording protection to tho animals, wo eavo money as truly as wo do by giving thom comfortable sholter. Tho bost protection for hogs is iho wallow. Though cattlo havo tough hides, flies occasion them much discomfort, and it is humano and 'profitable to tnako n smudgo. In somo situations this is actually nccossnry at ' certain seasons. Tho animals soon learn to tako odvantago of tho smoke. Horses suffer greatly from fllos, on ac count of a tenderer skin nnd scnsltlvo nervous organization. Whon wo havo them at work, their struggles against their tormentors nro annoying to "us. It is unpleasant to use animals kicking, biting, and sUimping nt files. For farm, teams tho cheapest protection is leath er nets. With reasonable caro thoso. will last tor years. Thoy should be cleaned and oiled ut least onco n month whllo thoy nro in uso, or tho sweat of tho animal will rapidly rot thom. Thoy increase tho warmth of tho animal us llttlo as any ofllciont protection. Cotton note nro a good protection to tho car riage horeo, but ore not strong enough for farm work. Thoso who cannot buy leathor nots should got tho coarsost gunny sacking. Tills, bolng very opca does not much heat tho animal. The. cover should reach over the nock with pockets to cover the ears. Thcso cov ers should bo washed onco a montli while in uso, and when thoy nro put away at tho end of fly timo. Gnats in fest tho inside of horsos' oars. Puro lard is a good protection, applied onco a day. Tho deposit by tho bot fly of its eggs undor tho jaw makes many horsos unmanageable. A cloth can ba tied to tho bridle in such a way as to protect tho jaw. Tho logs of horses roqulro protection moro thnn their bodies. Flics choose tho logs, ns tho skin in theso pnrt3 is thinner, and tho blood vessels aro nearer tho surface. It is strange that wo do not oftoner seo tho legs of tho animals protected, as tho flie3 are notmuch disturbed by stamping. Leggins from old ovorhnlls or made from gunny sacks, are good material, and tho man ashamed to drlvo a team so protected about his., farm has moro falso pride than good Bonso. Leggins mndo liko tho leather nots for tho body are, In tho ond, tho cheapest and can bo mado by any har ness maker. American Agriculturist Not tho Kind He Wanted. "Had a narrow escape with that horso of mine this morning." "Is that so?" "Yes; ho started full speed down tho carriage road with tho wholo family in tho surrey, linos dragging and no ono to hold him. Luckily tho gato was fast Ho ran up against it and stop ped." "Well, I should soil him." "Oh, I don't know. Any horsa might do that" "May bo, but I wouldn't havo a horso that stopped just aa ho struck a fast gait" Detroit Journal. Cinders in tho Byes. Fow persons have traveled much on railways without having tholr oyes hurt by cinders, and thoro is hardly 'a. train run whon tho c.irs are not all closed without somo passengor bolng thus affectod, ofton very painlully. So a capital plan is that adopted on tho Old Colony railroad (Massachusetts).' Tho conductors are all to bo instructol by nh expert occulist in tho art of re moving cinders from tho oyes of pa Bongers. Tho bost motho 1 In all such cases, If tho flow of toars doos not soon wash out tho foreign substance, ni It usually will unloss It'oo a sharp cinder. Is to tura bac!c the eyelid, h ivo tho eyeball rolled, by looking downward or otherwise, to bring tho rind). or dust to viow, and romova it with tho corner of a cloan linen handkerchief. If It clings too tightly for this it can bo -loosoncd and removed with tho moist ened ond of a wooden toothpick. Tho Irritation caused Is much mo Mod if not entirely rellovod by holding tho closed eyes In cold watsr for a few minutes. If It continues sovors drop into tho oyo a solution of sugar of load or of white vitriol (sulphate of zinc), say what will Ho on a silver half-dimo, In half a tumblor of pure water, pre ferably using vory clo in rain wator. Boason Dethroned. Judge "Did you ovor notlco nnv signs of insanity In tho deceased?" Witness (a Member of tho Legisla ture) "Well, onco, whon ho was a. Member of tha Legislature, ho intro duced a bill th it wasn't a imrttolo of interest to nnybody except taxpayers. .now lorK woeklv. Correct English. Teacher "W hat gender is girl?" Bright Boy ''Somotlmos femlnlno and sometimes nouter." "Humph! When is a crirl nouter gender?" "When sho'B nlavin' tap and Is 'It'" Now York Wcokly. Not the Biting Kind. Romantic Daughter "Mother, you must admit Mr. Dudolotto Is a rising young man." Old Lady Humph! I saw him sit ting in a crowdod strcot car the other day, whon a poor old woman entered, and ho didn't rlso any, that I notlcod." Now York Weokly. 1 u h i 4 -, te," t&tttbjt