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About Hemingford herald. (Hemingford, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1895-190? | View Entire Issue (April 24, 1896)
FA a yi r5f: iSiWL 'Mr A DECOY LETTER. A Mr.C. B. Barrett, formerly Chief 'Inspector of tbo United States Secret Service, had a queer exporienco Bomo "time ago. in a beautiful littlo town way down in Maryland. Mr. Bar rott'sJong experience with this sort of work has taught him just how to. dig a pit for his game, as the train neared tho .village ho walked, through tho Bmokor to tho mail car, asked for. the mail clerk, showed his commission and snid ho had some thing which ho wanted dono. "What is it?" asked tho clerk nervously, oying tho Chief Inspec tor. ''Where is tho mail pouch you throw off at the next stop?" It was produced. "Open it." It was opened, for an inspector fins absolute authority, not only over mail clerks, but over tho post masters of tho lurger cities. , Hero is n letter," said Mr. Barrett, "addressed to James Lancaster, a ficticious name. The letter con tains a $10 bill. I want you to ex amine it, take tho address, put it in that pouch and lock it with your 'own hands."' All this was done, and Mr. Barrett went back to his seat in one of tho day conches, confident that the next move in tho game would answer his expectations. The Secret Service agent stood upon tho platform of the mail car when tho train stopped and tho pouch wus thrown off, when he ntt onco stepped to the platform. A boy, whoso business it was to carry tho mail, took tho pouch over his Bhoul er and started up the villngo street, never dreaming that a Chief Inspec tor of tho Postal Servico was follow ing him on tho other sido of tho street und was watching him like n hawk, while seeming to watch noth ing. It was a beautiful June day, the birds were singing, nnd although it was high noon tho leafy ,lolty trees lining tho quiet street cast .such deep, cool shadows that Mr. Barrett did not find wnlking unpleasant. For nbout a quarter of a mile the boy kept on, followed by tho Inspector, and then turned into a smnll frame building, with a white and black sign over tho door labelled "Postoflice." "Now," said Mr. Barrett, inward ly, "my lotter has reached its desti nation." There was a crowd of visitors in side of the little Post-ofllco nnd out side who swurmed towards tho desk "to get their mail," and Mr. Barrett waited some fifteen minutes until they had all gone before ho entered the place, und saw a handsomo girl, about seventeen yenrs old, dressed in an old-fashioned bodico nnd light colored skirt, sitting behind tho wire grating in a rocking chair sewing. "Is there a letter hpro for James Lancaster?" said the Inspector, and every one who knows his face nnd figure will not wonder that the girl took him for a well to do country man. "No," sho snid, after sorting some letters in n case mnrked "L." "Won't you look again?" and sho did look, but with no oetter result. "I am sure the letter must have come," said Mr. Barrett, and I, who know him well, can imagine how gently ho snid it. "It's not hero." "Aro you the Postmaster?" "No. I am tho assistant. My father is tho Postmaster." "Who opened tho pouch that came bo the Inst train?" "I did." "No one to help you?' "No, sir." The girl's bright eyes looked as innocently at Mr. Barrett ns any girl's bright eyes ever looked at any man. "Maybe it stuck in tho pouch. I've heard of such things,"' ho Baid. "Won'tyou look?" Sho took nMIUt up- Ml down, f nsiuc No letter, i vB.n nnd help you IocHIbHHH- Bar rett. "No. No HniBV here." The Cluc'RSnHk"" his pocket Ins cBfflH' nit ed States GflMftV ofii" cial sisnntt flHHIHHhowed ittothesiHSBK'"1 "Can I con - "Yes," bftHHHK'r Pnr "You di.H'"ilV snid tho vi S' Secret Servico. There mbH'" high 1 HHnriow, a got lmrt.'" towtHusU'r H daughter Brrett tllminrlif u ,'. At hi.stliniHHHHHHW lock. opened th the Inspe nitted rwurd a uw loot There lit but bnro dea'j r box- s, and h is not James "Tlint there. "I mni Latll'USt er' be- is a flcti . That in my "Igtnyi presence. When that pouch wna put off at tho stntionTfolldweiTitnnd kept it in sight until it was taken in to tho Postoflice. Now you Bay you opened it alone, thnt no ono elso touched it. Where is my letter?" "I never saw :t, Bir. If you doubt mo you can Bearch mo." Mr. Barrett snid thot ho would not do that, and that ho had never dono sucli a thing to a woman, nnd ho be gan to pneo tho floor in deep thought. The girl, more beautiful than over in her excitement, eat down in tho rock ing chair, crossed her limbs and be gan to rock. "Call your mother, and sho enn search you in niy presence," Baid ho at length. ' "My mother is dead." Again tho Secret Servico agent pneed the floor. Ho looked into an adjoining room, brightly nnd neatly furnished, nnd wondered whether tho girl could have Becreted tho letter thero while she pretended to be going to tho crate to let him in. Ashopnced back and forth ho noticed the swing ing feet ofthoPostmnster's daughter, that one of her stockings hud sussed down, and that under that stocking was the shape of an envelope. "Your stocking has dropped," ho said. The girl turned scarlet and white, nnd stopped rocking. Sho caught her breath, as if to fuint. "Now, give mo my letter," said tho Inspector. She took it from its hiding place, handed it to him nnd burst into a. flood of passionate tenrs. Tho decoy letter, as is usual in cases of this sort, had been fixed so tliat.it would be apparent to anyone that money was enclosed. It had dono its work. "Where is your father?" asked Mr. Barrett. "In the garden," sobbed tho girl. Mr. Barrett went out into tho garden, found the old man hoeiilg nnd brought him in, nnd when ho was told all ho bowed his white head and sobbed with his child. Tho in spector learned that tho girl had ad mirers, as was natural; that her father was very misorly, not giving her even the money needed for a bright bit of ribbon, a new lint or a newdress; that sho had been tempted to take money from the mails for bits of finery, nnd had dono so. Mr. Barrett bitterly accused the old man of being the ono to blnme, und ho ac knowledged it. "I suppose you will arrest her?" said the girl's father. "Will you make restitution of tho sum (it was about 10), she has tnkon on account of your miserli ness?" "Yes; here it is," nnd it was handed over. "Will you arrest her?" "If I did what would bo her future? No. Unless you or she tells this it will never be known in tho village." Inspector Barrett left after forcing the old ninn to promise his daughter should never be compelled or allowed to handle the mails again, nnd when ho submitted his full report to tho head of tho department at Washing ton Ins course was fully approved. Patti and tho Burglar. It is said that shortly before Mine. Patti left Wales for her South Ameri can tour bad a thrilling experience with a burglar. Tho songstress was alone in her chamber preparing to retire for the night, when she hoard a sound in an adjoining room, as if someone were moving about. Pntti hastily donned a wrapper, and wnlked boldly into the room from which tho sounds came, and stood face to faco with a gigantic burglar. He wore a mask to conceal his features, and in his hand he carried a heavy club. Tho plucky woman naked him whut ho was doing there. "Don't you see," he replied in a brond Welsh dialect, "I am stealing your diamonds?" And he held up to lier astonished eyes the most beautiful bracelet which she possessed. Patti did not scream. She simply walked across the room, pressed nn electric button to summon the servant. Instead of the servant, however, Signor Nicolini appeared on the 6cene. The liurglnr attempted to strike him with his club, but his game wns frustrated by Patti. Sho grasped the club as it was raised in tho air. Nicolini nnd tho burglar then clinched, nnd in tho strugglo tlyit ensued the enterprising but al togethertoo candid thief waspitched out of a second story windoy. Ho descended gracefully and broke a leg. He wns found to be a peasant whom Patti had frequently befriended. London Cor. New York Press. - Two Great Curiosities. A traveler once with great tnioa ness related to a largo compnnV tb,8t he had traveled through all wie world, and had seen at least ono curiosity which had never yet boon mentioned by any nuthor. This wonder, according to his as sertion, wns n cabbage-plant so largo that under one single lenf fifty armed horsemen in battle array could sta tion theniHolvos nnd perform their evolutions. No ono who heard this exaggeration deemed it worthy of refutation; but one said, with the utmost composure and coolness, that, he, too, nod been somewhat of a traveler, and had bren us far as Japan, where, to his astonishment, he had seen more than three hundred coppersmiths at work upon an im mense cauldron, and. thnt 11 vo hun dred men were to bo employed to smooth nnd polish it. "For what purpose, then, would they wish to uso this monstrous cauldron?" asked the first traveler, sneeringly. "For cooking the cabbage-plants, sir, such ns you were telling us about just now," was the answer Fifty years ago or thereabouts Giusoppo Segoto, a Florentine pbj sicinn, announced that he had dis covered n way of petrifying tho hu man body bo jib to preserve its form without ehnnge of appearance. Ho submitted specimens of his work to tho grand duko of Tuscany, who thought well of tho discovery, and offered to buy it from "Segnto. Tho physician refused tho offer, and whilo ho wnltcd for a higher bid died, cither suddenly or nftcra very Bhort illness. He never revealed his process, and his secret was buried with him. Tho following description of Scgn to's best known specimen, first pub lished about a year ngo in a medicnl journal, has since nppenrcd in almost every newspnper in the country: In tho Pitti polnco, at Florence, is a table which for originality in tho mntter of construction, and ghnst liness in conception, is probably without a rival. It was mado by flu'i8eppe Segnto, who passed sovoral yonrs of hislifo in its manufacture. To tho cusuul observer it gives tho impression ot n curious mosaic of marbles ofdifforelitshadesand colore, for it looks like- polished stone. In reality it is composed of human muscles und visceru. No less than a hundred bodies wero requisitioned for the material. Tho tablo is round und nbout a yard in diameter, with a pedestal und four claw feet, the wholo being formed of potrifled .humum remains. Tho ornaments of tho pedestnl nre mado form tho in testines, the claws with hearts, livers and lungs, the natural color of which is preserved. Tho tablo top is con structed of muscles artistically ar ranged, and it is bordered with up wards 01 a nunureu eyes, too enecc of which is snid to bo highly nrtistic, since they retain nil their luster, and seem to follow tho observer. Sega to died about 50 years ngo. Ho ob tained bodies from tho hospitals and indurated them by impregnation with mineral salts. Curiosity led tho present writer, when in Florence recently, to obtain a view of this curious piece of furni ture. What he saw was so entirely different from what ho had been led to expect, thnt he is moved to tell tho renders of the Sun nbout it. In tho first placej tho "tablo" is not in the Pitti palace, but in the nuatomicol collection of tho new St. Mary's Hospitul; thero the present writer had an opportunity of ex amining it, in company with Dr. Stanishio Bianchi, who is in charge of the collection. The "table" is ovnl, of what looks likomuhoguny; it is nbout 18 inches long by 12 wuleind consists of n top only, it has no nppearunce what ever of over having had a pedestal. The human putrifactionson it con sist or thin of smnll sections or slices nbout 1-G4-of an inch think, which nre veneered upon it; Bonie are dia mond shaped, some ovnl. others Fquare, with surface like flno grained wood, nil arranged in asym metrical rectangular olilong design; there is n border around it, present ing nt first sight the oppenrnnco of a checker board. Some of these ve neers, by tho effects of dampness, hove become detached; ono or two hovo fallen off nltogother. Prof. Bianchi pointed out that these were smnll bits of organisms oftho human body, such ns tho loins, kidneys, liv er, spleen, lungs, skin, all of natural color, and that probably, in order to get them of small size they had been tnkon from boj's" cadavers. There were, however, no humnn oyes in the border or anywhere else. Dr. Bianchi showed other speci mens of Segato's process a female scalp of perfectly natural color, with long flowing hair nttoched; a. worn nn's breast, fair and white, perfectly life-like. In these enses tho ports pre- BerveuweroiiKenieuiuiiipnsteooaruin thickness nnd firmness. He showed nlso petrified reptiles, fish, nnd sepa rate parts ol the humnn body, nil prepared by Sogato, nnd doubtless submitted 'by him when he offered to Bell Ins secret to tho Tuscan govern ment. It wns difficult to get an expression of opinion from tho doctor about the valuo of Segato's process, and tho consequent importance to science of its loss, "it lias not neon discovered since; it is a pity that it still remains unknown," was all that tho kind and courteous professor would say on the subject, "beguto asked rather n largo price, perhaps, but he knew his own business, doubtless. The "tablo" is not sera ty many Tlsitors to Florence, or oven by ninny Florentines; tho custodians of Seira- to's specimens, oven if thoy do not discourngosightreers, certainly evince no great enthusiasm for tho objects of their care. Now York Sun. i A Humorous Scnntor. Senator Evarts has a command a rentcnt.ous humor that is rarely hinted nt in such of his oblong peri ods us nro most familiar to the pub lie. A correspondent says that he remarked of Ithodc Island that "it was settled by the Dutch; tho Yan kees settled the Dutch;" nnd of cer tnin Christians who landed in New England: "Thoy praised God and fell -upon their knees then thoy foil upon tho aborigi-neso." Tho ex Secretary ulso sent to Bancroft this letter: "Dear Bancroft: I nm very ,l"d to noml you two products of my in to-Uny u bar rel of pickled iIr lork unci my eulojry on Chief JuBtice Chuse. Yours, "EVJUtTS." The Judge and the Baby. Tho Judgo oftho County Court wnn in trouble Ho had adjourned his court, tho jurors had gono home, and ho wns loft nlono with tho Sheriff. No not entirely alone n sallow faced' woman in a .limp nnd fnded ginghamsunbonnotnud a limpor nnd more fnded homespun dress crouched down by tho door of tho Court Houso with a baby in her lap. The Judgo stepped outsido for a moment and looked down tho ono Btrnggling street which constituted tho main thoroughfare of Blue Hock.. A dreary, drizzling rain was fulling, and thero was scarcely a sign of life1 in tho littlo village. . "Jiml" In responso to tho call tho sheriff followed tho Judgo ho was a big, tall fellow, with a good notured face, and his shambling walk impressed ono with an idea of his laziness nnd gen eral incapacity. "Jim," said tho Judgo, "I'll bo darned if I know what to do with Sally Blnck." Tho sheriff hitched up his l)0irff.V icons trousers und then scratched his head. "Wo'ro in a fix, Jedse," was his re ply, and a broad grin spread over his face. Undoubtedly tho Judjro wns in a Ox ho knew that well enough with out hearing from tho sheriff. Sally Black had been convicted of vagrancy in Ins court, und ho hnd sentenced her to nix months' imprisonment a sentenco which wns to bo carried out by knocking down tho prisoner to the highest bidder. As a rulo, the prisoners disposed of in this mnnner wore negroes, und the formers of tho country wero nlways ready to bid for them and put them to work on their plantations, where thoy wero treated like theothorhands until their term of servico expired. Tho farmers around Bluo Rock were a simple-minded, old-fashioned set of people, nnd the county court in their eyes wns nota mill ofcriminnl justice it was merely nn ngency through which thoy wero supplied with labor ers. They wonted Sally Black put through, as thoy expressed it, be cause sho was thoonlvreirular tranm and beggar in the country a good-for-nothing white woman, who had como from no ono knew where, und wns evidently going to tho devil. But when their wish was gratified when tho forlorn woman inlierrags nnd desolation had been tried, con victed nnd sentenced, tho honest countrymen slipped out of tho court room with downcast fnees and started homeward. Sheriff Jim spent an hour on n stump in front oftho tem ple of justico vainly endoavoring to auction off his human merchandise, but nobody would ofier n bill. Of course it was no feeling of com pnssion for Sally; Black that they held them back it was the baby! "Billy Botts would take her," said the Judge, coming out of n brown study. "I think, Jim, I'll send you down to the house." "All right, Jedgo," answered Jim. His Honor looked inside the door. Sally Black still sot on tho floor loaning against tho wall with her baby in her lap. Sho did not look .' up at the'.Iudgo's stem face, but the littlo girl did, and began to laugh and crow in n spasm of delight. The Judge hastily beat a retreat. "Jim," he snid, "you needn't go nfter Betts. "AH'right, Jedge." "Tho fact is, Botts is not the right sort to havo a convict; he's a hard man too rough, you know." "JessQ, Jedge." "We'll lock her up in jail until to morrow," said the other. Tho Judgo wnlked inside tho court house und stooped down to tell tho woman of his determination, A pair of bluo eyes flashed at him in riotou merriment, and a pair of pink fists struck ut him und then tho child's long lingers entwined themselves in his long beard. "Oo's oo?" chirru)ed the bnby. His Honor pushed his captor back, very gently, and then looked at the Sheriff. "She's a peart gal," remarked Jim. Tho Judgo bolted out of tho door, followed by tho faithful oflieer. "Jim, this is getting serious." "Looks like a tough old case," volunteered the Sheriff. "I ain't lock that baby up in our dirty old jail, nnd I won't." "How will you fix it, Jedgo?" nsked tho other. '"Under the luw wo can't bid for tho prisoner. "I know what I'll do," said tho Judge "I say. Bob, como here!" ho shouted to a man on tho other sido ol tho street, Bob crossed over very reluctnntly. He was a tenant on a s'uinll farm bo longing to the judge, and he wus be hind with his rent. He expected to be dunned, but ho was mistaken. In a word tho situation was ex plained to him. "But I can't bid," ho objected. "I ain't able." "D n it, mnn!" shoureutho Judgo, "offer a dollar." "But I can't pay that T two you fifty dollars now." "Confound you I" ro:. rod the -Judge. "Do as I tell you, ond you shall havo your own timo about paying tho back rent." "All right," replied tho fellow slowly, "but Sally Black cannot work, and I cannot afford to feed her." " "Seo here, Bob." growlod tho Judgo. with a determined look, "you Just put this womnn nnd her baby in tho littlo cnbin on tho hill. Thoy won't Btnrve. I'll eend them enough to ent." Bob had no more to eny. It was a good bargain for him, nnd in less than five minutes ho wob march ing down tho street, followed by Sally Black and the bnby. v Tho next day tho Judgo sent in his resignation to tho Governor! To his friends ho mndo a very satis factory explanation. "Under our special act," ho said, "I receive no salary. I am paid in fees, and I don't sot any. Then I havo to lend tho prisoners money to pay their fines, nnd it is getting bo .thatl will have to Hupport some of tho convicts. This court business will run.me in debt if I stick to it, nnd thnt is why I resigned." So Sally Black and tho baby wero quurtored in a comfortnblo log cnb in on tho Judge's plantation, nnd their rations wero sent to them every week from the big white house over tho river. What becamo of them nfter Sally's term was out? Tho Bluo Bock peoplo would laugh ot such a queston. They know the Judge. Sully Black needs no written lease no contract with witnesses. She will stay in tho little cabin as long as bIio and tho baby like it, and tho neighbors think she is. ..settled there for life. Atlanta Constitution. Cowboy nnd Spook. Cheyenne. Lender This is hardly tho season for ghoBt stories, but one which reached tho eai b of a reporter the other cvenuig may entertain those fond of spookloro. Tho Leader can vouch for tho relia bility of all tho persons mentioned, except tho ghost itself. Tho narra tive runs in this wise: Joe Hcnloy, a rollicking cowboy who rides tho rango for tho Corlisio Cattle Company, was oilsnged in transferrins a bunch of horses from one ranch on tho Sweetwater to an other nnd passed tho historical In dependence rock after nightfall. When uenr tho noted landmark Joo was nearly senred out of his wits nnd his charges almost stampeded by tho appearance of a ghastly nppuration across tho trail. Tho figure wns that of a man nnd white in color. Tho outlines were clearly defined but the cowboy is unnble to describe tho cos tume of tho unearthly tramp. Ilealey, who is a quick-witted chap of great nervo, hurried his horBO to a corral, about a mile distant, und re turned to visit tho uncanny thing. Tho goblin damned, like the villngo mnidcu, was over modest and kept its distnnco. At times it flonted rap idly through the air ond again lo comoted steady by jerks, as tho tood walks. The ndventurouspunch or proposed to drive the ghost into the horse herd and then rope it. Ho wns unsuccessful, howovor, but ex linusted his mount nnd emptied his six shooters in the attempt, and what more could bo required of on honest cowboy? As is usually tho enso tho ghost finally melted uwny, leaving the pur suers completely mystified. Anoth er cowboy met with a similar nd vonturo in tho sumo locality last year, and every rnnge-rider in thnt region swears by the Chicago mnrket that tho place is"sure enough haunt ed." Swagger in the Old Days. From llwnnt'a "Fifty Years Ago." There is still swagger, oven in these dnys; cavalry officers in garrison towns are still supposed to swngger. Eton boys swngger in their own lit tlo village: undergraduates swagger. Tho putting on ot "side" by the way, is a peculiarly modern form of swng ger; it is tho assumption ofcertnin qualities and powers which nro con sidered os deserving of respect. Swngger, fifty years ngo, was a coa; ser kind of thing. Officers swag gered; men of rank swaggered, gen tlemen in military frogs there nro no longer any military frogs swag gered in taverns, clubs, and in tho streets. Tho adoption of quiet man ners; tho weaving of rank with unob trusive dignity; the possession of wealth without ostentation; of wit without the desire to be nlways show ing it these are points in which wo nre decidedly in udvnnco of our fathers There was a great deal of cuff and collar, stock ond breastpin about tho young fellows of the day. They were oppressive in their gallantry; in public places they asserted them selves; thoy wero loud in their talk. Al'Iko County htory. Tho Poupnck Creek, in Piko Coun ty, Pennsylvania, is tho dwelling plnco of a monster more wonderful than tho sea serpent", if.ono con be lievo tho stories told by peoplo in tho vicinity. Thoy describa tho beast as having a head like an ape ami square shoulders liko a humnn being. From tho shoulders oftho crenturethero ex tend legs arms, which terminate in great claws. Tho body of the mon ster, which is fully six feet in length, is of a reddish brown tint, very like thnt of a lizard, nnd terminates in a tail like that of a fish. Tho creature's body is bare of any covering, but about tho heuil and neck is a mane of reddish hair. It is needless to say that the county is excited over the strange animals. Various parties surround tho creek each day in hopes of capturing the beast, but up to tho present time their endeavors have not been crowned with succms. Nonspnncr TYIL Tho dciitiet may not bo much of a Political), but ho knows how to take the stump. "What is Sniggles running fori" "I didn't know he wns running for anything." "Oh, but ho is then. I saw him going to church JuBt Sun day." Boston Transcript. "And-what doayou expect to sake of your son when ho cornea of nge, Mr. Smith?" "Oh I don't know," re plied Mr. Smith, despondently; "I think he'd make a good husbund for a rich girl. "Life. Bashful youth: "Will ynutnko this chnir, Mies Ethel?" Miss Ethel: '.'Oh, no.- Ithasnonrm." Bashful youth (eagerly): "I shall bo most hnppy ah to supply the deficiency, I as sure you." And he did. Judge. "Hello, Jellycuko, who cut your hair?" "My wife." "Sho mado a horriblo job of it." "Yes, I,m begin ning to understand why Sampson lost his st rensh ofter consulting a female barber. 1 feel pretty weak myself." Lincoln Journal. "I nm glad your sister enjoyed her visit to us. Mr. Smith." "Oh, well, you know sho is tho sort of girl who con enjoy herself anywhere, you know." "Papa, wheiVs Atoms?" "Atoms? I don't know, toy boy. You menn Athens, probably." "No, I-ncnn Atoms tho placo where everything is blown to." A young married woman who has jhst been presented with a second child wns asked by a friend; "Don't you find it to much bother to tako enro of two babes?" "Oh, no," snid tho mother; "ono baby uoed to keep mo up all night ond two can't keep mo up nny longer," Talk nbout your cigaretto smok ing! Here's a man over in Connecti cut, who hos died, that smoked over 2,000 herrings a duy. It was his business. "Bridget," said the mistress to tho new hired girl, "you enn go now nnd put the mackerel in soak." ' ''Sure, ma'am, air yo rejuccd to that?" asked Bridget, sympathetically. Mother "You look savage, Char lie." Chnrlio (fresh from school) "Yes, ma. Fact is, tho teacher rat toned me; tho brand of Cain is on tho nntipodo of my brow." "Aro you admiring the new moon, Miss Clnra?" ho said us he cume soft ly up from tho gate. "Yes, Mr. Snm'pson, I have been gazing at it so long thnt my neck fuirjy nches." "You shouldn't try to look at it nlone," he snid tenderly, nnd then ho sat down nnd divided tho labor. New York Sun. "Why, John, whntis tho matter with buby?" sho Baid, as sho camo hastily into tho house. "He is cry ins bitterly." "Yes," replied the old man, ns ho hnnded tho infant over; "he is evidontly thinking of what the governor of North Carolina said to the sovernor of South Carolina.' Epoch. Brown; "1 8ny,DumIey, you haven't forgotten thnt$10-bill you borrowed ofmenlong timo ago, havo you?" Burnley (in a hurt tone of voice): "Forgotten it, my dear boy?" Do 3'ou think I'm so wenk-minded ns nil that?" I'd rather a mnn would im pugn my credit any day than my memory." Lite. Mrs. Dusenberry "What nonsense these newspapers study outl Now here's n atatemont that widows aro more likely to dio than widowers." Mr. Dusenberry "That's all bosh, my dear. Tho fact is that a mun generally dies before his widow." Mrs. Dusenberry "Is that really tho cose? How do you nccount for it?': Mr. Dusenberry "I can't." They had retired. Mrs. Dusenbury wns talking a streak about Mr. D.'s foibles. "Graciousl" she suddenly ex claimed, "my foot's nsleep." 'Then keep quiet, my denr," said Mr. D., "and perhaps you'll fall asleep all over." He: "I must break off my engage ment, Violet." She: "Why should you do thot?" He: "Well, your father has failed: how can he support a -on-in-law in tho Btyle in which I hqvo livedl" She: "Why, you goose, ho failed on porposo to meet the ex tra expense! Harper's Bazar. A Creditable Snake Story. A farmer near Orlando, Fin., saw in tho sand tho trail of what ho thought wus a very big snake. He followed it, and nfter ten minutes' trailing como upon the lorgest serprnt he hud ever seen. It was engaged in swallowing a rabbit, oud tho farmer waitetl and wntched the operation. After tho rabbit hnd disappeared ho wnlked fowared to get a good shot at the monster, which according to his story, at once renred up its head as high as a Eood sized mun ond began racing nek and forth before him, drawing nearer each time, hissing and darting out his tongue. Tho farmer shot and broke tho snake's' back, and another shot killed it. It wns a "coach-whip" Biiaku of the bon constrictor family, und meusurvd Bixteen feet nnd two inches in length and wus four inches across the head. f t euirw. JWMiftt-SWM- SSI?SW