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About The Wageworker. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1904-???? | View Entire Issue (Feb. 14, 1908)
Wasn't Skeptical. "A scientist claims that rubber can be made from Indian corn," remarked the boarder who had been perusing the scientific notes in a patent-medicine almanac. "I guess he's right," growled the canty-haired bachelor at the pedal extremity of the mahogany. "The bat ter cakes we have this morning would seem to Indicate as much." Laundry work at home would be much: more satisfactory if the right Starch were used. In order to get the desired stiffness. It is usually neces sary to use so much starch that the beauty and fineness of the fabric la hidden behind a paste of varying thickness, which not only destroys the appearance, but also affects the wear ing quality of the goods. This trou- ble can be entirely overcome by using Defiance Starch, as it can be applied much more thinly because of Its great er strength than other makes. Plan Beautiful Cemetery. Munich is to have one of the most beautiful graveyards In Germany. The city has purchased about 300 acres of romantic forest land about Ave miles from its borders, which will be used as a cemetery. It will be the first forest graveyard in Germany, and It is to be so used that its idylllo character will be preserved. Important to Mothers. Examine carefully every bottle of C ASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for infants and children, and see that it Bears the Signature of In Use For Over .'M Years. The Kind You Have Always Bought He Certainly Can. Mrs. Benbam You used to say that I was your life. Benhavm Can't a man get tired of life? "Never believe anything bad aboin anybody antil you know it to be true," says Dr. Henry Van Dyke. Does the doctor want to destroy half the pleas ure in life? As a man dresses so he is esteemed. -Danish. LPFUl Yob ron't tell your family doctor the whole story about your private illness you are too modest. You need not be afraid to tell Mrs. Pink ham, at Lynn, Mass., the things you could not explain to the doctor. Your letter will be held in the strictest con fidence. From her vast correspond ence with sick women during the past thirty years she may have gained the very knowledge that will Help your case. Such letters as the fol lowing, from grateful women, es tablish beyond a doubt the power of LYDIA E-PINKHAM'S VEGETABLE COMPOUND to conquer all female diseases. Mrs. Norman It. Barndt, of Allen town, Pa, writes : ' "Ever Blnce I was sixteen years of age I had suffered from an organic de rangement and female weakness; in consequence I had dreadful headaches and was extremely nervous. My physi cian said I must go throngh an opera tion to get well. A friend told me about Lydia, E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, and I took it and wrote you for advice, following your directions carefully, and thanks to you I am to day a well woman, and I am telling all my friends of my experience." FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN. For thirty years Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound, made from roots and herbs, has been the standard remedy for female ills, and has positively cured thousands of women who have been troubled with displacements, inflammation, ulcera tion, fibroid tumors, irregularities, periodic pains, backache, that bearing-down feeling, flatulency, indiges tion, dizzinesSjOr nervous prostration. SIGH HEADACHE n ii ii'ii I Positively cured by CARTERS lhM lmIe Pl,u- LIU Tbey also relieve Dla . I IHflE Ires, from Dyspepsia, In- digestlonaml Too Hearty I I lyFR Eating. A perfect rem I I Sa A edjr for Dizziness, Katr ' I I r ILL We sea. Drowsiness, Bad I f Taste In the Mouth, Coat- I ed Tonime, Pain in the la!., TORPID LIVER, titer regulate the Bowels. Purely Vegetable. SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE. E mm to-. . i Genuine Must Bear Fac-Simile Signature REFUSE SUBSTITUTES. CARTERS Mir TOLD AFTER DINNER ALU KINDS OF NONSENSICAL ANECDOTES GO THEN. "Jones of Belham" a Good Example of What Can Be Done in That Respect New Version of the Fatted Calf. People like nonsense after flinnei. They like anecdotes. The best of anec dotes is that they need have nothing to do with the subject. I know a man who keeps about half a dozen anec dotes always in stock. He can make one or the other of them fit any par ticular toast. I heard him propose "The Army and Navy." He said that some people took a gloomy view of our national defenses. For himself, he was an optimist. It was always best to look at the bright side of every thing. "That reminds me," he said, "of my friend Jones Jones of Relhain. His motto is that there is always some thing to be thankful for. His wife is not of such a cheerful disposition. She is often annoyed at Jones' optimism. "One day they were dining at a res taurant, and they had placed before them a very tough piece of veal. It was an exceptionally tough piece of veal. " 'There,' said Mrs. Jones, 'now I think it would puzzle even you to find anything to be thankful for in that piece of veal.' " 'Not a bit of it,' said Jones, "I was just at that very moment thinking how fortunate it was that we hap pened to meet it when it was young. " Some time afterward I was at an other dinner. It was the dinner of a scientific society. This same man was present again, and he was put up to propose the toast of "Success to Aerial Navigation." "This is a tremendous question to deal with," he said, "but we must make the best of things, and I hope you will bear with me while I try to make the best of it. It is such a tough subject that it reminds me of the piece of veal which was once placed before my friend Jones Jones of Belham." And out came the story of Jones of Belham again; and it was quite a hit. So much so that he followed it up with another. Whereat the men of science gave encouraging cheers and said "Go on!" for "after dinner" makes the whole world kin, and it is just as safe to play with the lions of learning when they have been well fed as with any of the inferior animals. " 'This calf, my friends,' said the preacher, 'was no ordinary calf. This calf, forsooth, was a fatted calf. And mark you, it was no ordinary fatted calf. This calf, my friends, had been fatted up for years, and years, and years.' " Here is another dinner story: Two men, who had been dining so well that they could see twice as much as two ordinary men, were rather imprudent ly walking home by the canal bank. Very soon one of them fell into the water. This sobered him to some ex tent, and he began to yell out at the ti,7 of his voice: "Hi ui'""ieJU. help! I can't swim!' Help! I can't s .iu.'''-, The other man, who had gone down on his knees on the bank "and was trying to steady himself by holding tightly to a tuft of grass, surveyed his struggling friend with a glassy stare. "I can't sh-wim, either," he said, "but I don't make such a b-b-blooming fuss about it." "Speeding Up." It is idle to criticise at large the American business man's habit of overwork. Hut a single aspect of this ruinous habit merits comment. The American business man does not want money Itself. He wants to "get there," to "get there" for his own, his wife's sake, his family's sake. The full price of "getting there" he does not always calculate. The man who works fast, many hours a day, six or seven days a week, is not merely paying in sheer energy to "get there." He eats too much, possibly drinks too much, does not take exercise, but he pays in more than physical detriment He is doing more than Ill-treating his body in such a way as he would never dream of ill treating his automobile or his factory- dynamo. Above everything else, the American business man is "getting there" at the expense of rounded de velopment, at the expense of life itself and of its large and rich experiences. Tree Dentistry. Many methods are being tried for the preservation of old and historical trees In the east, some of which are intensely Interesting. On the estate of John J. Little, at Bala, Pa., is a verv old sycamore, the trunk of which had become decayed. The cavity was filled with stone and cement and around its base was then built an outer stone wall, so arranged that the water would drain away from the trunk of the tree. Popular Mechanics. One Exception. "Our new show is fine," said the first actor; "there's plenty of snap and go in it; the acts are short and so are the Intermissions; no long waits at all." "Indeed?" inquired the other, Bar castically, "not even for salary?" Packing for Vacation. Mme. A. The worst is deciding what to take. Mme. B. That's easy; I take all my dresses and leave my husband!' Transatlantic Tales. THE TIME TEST. That Is What Proves True Merit.. Doan's Kidney Pills bring the quick est of relief from backache and kid ney troubles. Is that relief lasting? Let Mrs. James M. Long, of 113 Augusta St., Staunton, Va,, tell you. On January 31st, 1903, Mrs. Long wrote: "Doan's Kid ney Pills have cured me" (of pain in the back, urinary trou bles, bearing down sensations, etc.) On June 20th, 1907, four and one-half years later, she said: "I haven't bad kidney trouble since. I repeat my testimony." Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. HIS ONLY OPPORTUNITY. "Does your wife talk in her sleep, major? "No, T talk in her sleep It's the only chance I get." SHE COULD NOT WALK For Months Burning Humor on Ankles Opiates Alone Brought Sleep Eczema Yielded to Cuticura. "I had eczema for over two years. I had two physicians, but they only gave me relief for a short time and I cannot enumerate the ointments and lotions I used to no purpose. My ank les were one mass of sores. The itch ing and burning were so intense that I could not sleep. I could not walk for nearly four months. One day my hus band said I had better try the Cuticura Remedies. After using them three times I had the best night's rest In months unless I took an opf&ie. I used one set of Cuticura Soap, Oint ment, and Pills, and my ankles healed in a short time. It is now a year since I used Cuticura, and there has been no return of the eczema. Mrs. David Brown, Locke, Ark., May 18 and July 13, 1907." The First Advertiser. The author looked up from the first chapter of his mammoth history of advertising. "I wonder," he murmured, "who could have been the first manufacturer to advertise? It is an item that would fit in well here." "There is no extant data on the sub ject," said the farmer, "but I have every reason to believe that the hen Is the person you are looking for." 6ta1K or Ohio. City or Tolzdo, I Luc, coutt. t " FRHKva. Chkskt makes oath that he 1. senior Eartner ofwie firm of F. .1. Cuexky & Co., diiloe; uslness In n .ltr of Toledo. County and State aforesaid, and t&at said firm will pay the sum of OJfE HUXDUED -DOLLARS for each and every case of CATA.RRB t hit cannot be cured by the use of Hall's Catabbh Cure V FRANK J. CHENEY. Sworn to berore me and inbscrliied In my presence. lU.hd.y of December. A. XLEXmx SUXh J- - JfoTARY PrBLIO. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken Interaal'.y and acts directly on the blood and mucous surtaxes of the aysteiu. Send for testlmuulals. free. ! F. J. CHESE V CO., Toledo, O. Sold by all Druggists. Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation. Methodist Episcopal Property. The Methodist Episcopal church 'property in this country is now worth about $187,000,000, on which there is an indebtedness of $12,127,248. When Your Throat Feels Sore get a 2Zc box of Brown's Bronchial Troches. They give immediate relief. Contain nothing injurious. Different. The good die young, but this isn't true of jokes. A Beautiful Watch Fob Free to those who ship us $5 worth of hides or furs or buv guns or traps to that amount. X. W. HIDE & FUR CO., Minneapolis. Above Reward. Good counsel has no price. French Proverb. OXLV ONE "BROMO QUININE" That is I.AXATIVK HKOMO OCINISK. Look for the signature of H. W. UHUVK. Used the World over to Cure a Cold in One luy. 25c. Is it not sheer madness to live poor to die rich? Juvenal. Your Good Looks B M CARE OF THE KITCHEN. Clean Walla Are an Essential to Sanitary Cooking. It Is not only important to know how to cook, but: it is equally impor tant, to know where to cook. Cook ing in a dirty kitchen can never pro duce good food. The idea is simply preposterous, yet kitchen walls are left for months sometimes for years without cleansing. ' In the first' place the kitchen wall should have a light tint that the mer est fleck of dirt can be seen; that the sheerest cobweb can be brushed away; that the tiniest water bug can be discerned. It is all folly expecting clean food in a kitchen with dirty walls. Never put a . wall coating on a kitchen wall that is mixed with hot water or that has glue in it, or sour milk in it if mixed with cold water. Glue- walls made from horses' hoofs colored up with cheap colorings do j not indicate good housekeeping. The glue is- constantly flecking off, ' fall ing into the food and the idea of food flavored with glue made from horses' hoofs is not appetizing. Kitchen walls to be thoroughly sat isfactory should be alabastined the same as every other wall in the house. They should be coated regu larly in the spring and fall of each year with a light ticj. The care of the pantry requires constant attention. The walls Should be brushed over every year, the dishes removed from the shelves which should be thoroughly wiped with hot water. If there are ant holes or any other insects in the pan tries a thick putty of the wall coat ing can be made and all the ant holes, even small mice holes can be filled with it which will protect the pantry from the incursions of disagreeable insects and mice. Gloomy Outlook. Long Winded Orator (lowering his voice to an impressive whisper.) "Have you ever, O, my friends, al lowed yourselves to wonder where you will he and what you will be doing when another century shall have rolled around?" i Wearied Auditor (in an equally im pressive whisper) "Yes we'll still be here waiting for you to finish your speech!" Sheer . white goods, in fact, any fine wash goods when new, owe much of their -attractiveness to the way they are laundered, this being done in a manner to enhance their textile beau ty. Home laundering would be equal ly satisfactory if proper attention was given to starching, the first essential being good Starch, which has sufficient strength to stiffen, without thickening the goods. Try Defiance Starch and j'ou will be pleasantly surprised at the improved appearance of your work. ' On Diminutives. The Sphinx was asking a riddle. "Why does a man in love always want to call a 200-pound maiden his 'little girl?' " " With one acord they gave it up. Chocolate Pie! Chocolate Pie! The more you eat the more you want if they are made from "Ol'R-PIK" Prepara tion. Try it and tell your friends how easy it is to make delirious i-hoeohre pies. Three varieties Lemon, Chocolate, and Custard at grocers, 10 cents a package. It may be a blessed fortune for Socrates that Xantippe didn't keep a diary to be published 2,000 years after her death. The very wisest advice: take Garfield Tea whenever a laxative is indicated! Pleasant to the taste, implp, pure, mild, potent and health-giving. Made of Herbs not drugs. If a rich girl has fiery red hair it's a sign that all her acquaintances will tell her it is golden. ni.ES erKKii i.T e to i bats. PAZO OINTMKNT is guaranteed to cwre any case of Itching. Blind. rlleedinir or Protruding; Pllos io 6 to 14 days or money refunded. 0e. A man's ideal woman is one kind of a pipe dream. , Mrs. Wloelow's Soothing; Syrup. Tor children tecfblnir, softens tbe gums, reduces In flammation, aijays pain, cure wind collu. use a bottle. The young man who hesitates dur ing leap year is won. msm vi svv ivr!--? Woman's good looks depend, of course, very largely upon her health. If you are weak, sick, miserable, and suffei: from pain or other symptoms of womanly ail ments, your face and appearance will, quickly show it, and nothing will bring back your good looks, until you cure your "female troubles. is the medicine for you to try, when sick. Mrs. Sarah Avery, of Moark, Ark., "writes: "I suffered with womanly troubles for two years, and nothing helped me until I took Cardui. Now I am well." Try it. Sold everywhere, in $1.00 bottles. TVHITV Ffta? Hfl'! IlftOff valuable1 hint a Wn'dTet, exercise, rtSScnt snssaiaw aa wava, aaaasu wvam prepaid, l-adieav evqviaory jjcpa, roe cnattapoofa eainrar km. t-oaaisuiooaa. aim WOES OF THE QUERY EDITOR. Little Wonder the Poor Man la Gray Before Hi Time. The "Answers to Correspondents" man, feverishly rumpling the hair that his duties had too soon made gray, tossed a letter on the table. ;v ' "An ex-widow of 30," he groaned, "says she loves her second husband better than her first. She wants to know if this is wicked or un-Chris-tian." ' He sneered and ripped open another letter. Then he said: "A Methodist minister has tod large a nose. What is he to do? What, in deed?" He read a third letter. . . "Here's a girl," he said, "who wants: to know in what winter resort, hotel1 she will meet the largest number' of eligible bachelors." "Reggie," he went on, "asks me the best way to avoid the effects of heavy drinking. I'll tell him, I suppose, to avoid heavy drinking. " 'Is it possible,' Charles inquires, 'to tell when a black man blushes?'"1 "So the questions go, ten or twelve of them a day. Is it any wonder I am gray before my time?" Millions in Oats and Barley. Kothing will pay you better for 1908 than to sow a plenty of big yielding oats and barley with oats at 40c to 50c a bu. (Salzer"s new Emperor William Oats ay eraged 50 bu. per acre more than any other variety in 1907) would pay immense ly while Salzer's Silver King Barley which proved itself the biggest yielder at th Wisconsin Agricultural Station during 1907 if you had planted 50 acres would hare given you in 1907 just $3,500.00 on 50 acres. It is an enormous yielder. JUST SEND THIS NOTICE AND 10c to the John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Lrosse, wis., and ,we will mail you the only original seed catalog published in America with samples of Emperor Wil liam Oats, Silver King Barley, Billion Dol lar Grass which produces 12 tons per acre. Sainfoin the dry soil luxuriator, etc., etc.; and if you send 14c we add a package of new farm seeds never before seen by you. The highest path is pointed out by the pure ideal of those who look up to us, and who, if we tread less loftily, may never look so high again. Haw thorne, t With a smooth iron and Defiance Starch, you can launder your shirt waist just as well at home as ' the steam laundry can; it will have the proper stiffness and finish, there will be less wear, and tear, of the goods', and it will be a positive pleasure to use a Starch that does not stick to the iron. The best swimmer is the first to drown himself. Italian. , 1 STIFF, YES? WET AND DAMP CAUSE COLD IN THE JOINTS S- JACOBS TAKES OUT THE PAIN AT ONCE.BEMOVESTHE STIFF NESS. PREVENTS ITS RETURN. TOO. FINE FOR BRUISES, SPRAINS AND SORENESS. Price 25c ani 50c. SHOES AT ALL PRICES. FOR EVERY MEMBER OFTHE FAMILY MEN, BOYS, WOMEN, MISSES AND CHILDREN. K-m. W. I. OougtuB makao and sella """"sSfi men's &2.BO, S3.CJO anrf $3. BO xftovm , tnmn mny ohms mtasmaaturvr J)S& world, beoauso I ftcur hold W. L Dnutrlas $4 and fi Gilt Erfra Shaas Cannot sri'AiriOK. W. I,. Douglas-name and price Is stamied to"IJ,M,,f," wortdtMl?Ki Sold by the best shoe dealers everywhere. Shoe maUed from r?FtA,, "ILMkL sraiea i.aiviOE iree o any aauress. Bettei Tlx an At Oivc-TsntK Our REFINED TAR is the best One gallon covers ass square teet 01 sunacv. For dipping shingles, painting felt roofs. Iron or metal surfaces Our R I-KIN ED TAR haa no equal. Especially adapted tor palatine barns, poultry houses, hog snd cattle sheds, as It is a perfect (crmk i ""J Ll'J'il'.'c'.-.Er-'S .t. forfcrWn, H Brevonrins mud in pig pens, thereby preventing coughs and other lung trouble p, P l"ck U e o'e colorin which Our REFINED TAR is made. To. finish oo metal Is similar to Japan; on wood Reflned Tar soaks inlike paint, pieservlngj the woody . No samples are sent out, tt Is sold In small quantities. Try It. You will use nothing I.e. Write ua today. OMS.H Gas CoatrAHV 1838 South 10ih St.. Omsbe, Nab. r mmL 1 SPOHN MEDICAL CO., a Cliir?rc3eina acts dentlyyet prompt ly ontae bowels, cleanses jKe. system ejectualy assist one in overcoming habitual constipation permanently. IS get it benejicial effects buy tKe Genuine. Manulacturedi iy the California FioSmupCo. solo sr LttaNorDRucasrs-etK rBomt What a Settler Can Secure In WESTERN CANADA 160 Acre Grain-Growrac Land FREE. ' 20 to 40 Bushcla Wheat to tlw Acrcu - 40 to 90 Bushels Oats to tfao Aero. 35 to 50 Bushels Barley to the Acre. Timber for Fencmc and Bnildiaga FREE. Good Laws with Low Taxation. Splendid Railroad Facilities and Low Raton, School and Churches Convenient. Satisfactory Market for all Productions. Good Climate and Perfect Health. - Chance for Profitable Investment Some of tbe choicest grain-producing land in . Saskatchewan and Alberta may now be ac quired in these most healthful and prosperous sections under the- Revised Homestead Regulation by which entry may be made by proxy ('on cer tain conditions), by the father, mother, ma, daughter, brother or sister of intending; homar steader. . Entry fee in each case is $10.00. For pamphlet, "LastBestWest,"partlcularsastorate,rontea, best time to go and where to locate, apply to W. V. BBHHETT. Ml Hew Tsrk Life oilaux. Osaka, Rskraska. nrrn I THAT'S PUS All OUT ned la tea la mm 1 1 All oor seed la tested II I II and warranted to be a mw reuaoie. write, zor snrnew Catalosne. It's FHRE. J. J. a. Sksmt a fas. Mmssiiim. Man. W. N. U., LINCOLN, NO. 7, 1968. OIL mnm thvlr Ba Enualled At An! Price v . " Paiiit The Cost wood and metal preaerrarire knows. 11 'Wffitt Wat COLT DISTEMPER Can be handled very easily. Tbe si ok are eared, and all otben Is same stable, no matter bow "exposed." kept from having tbe dia tease, by using SiOHN'S LIQUID DISTEMPER CURB. Olre on thettmgne. or in feed. Acts on tbe blood and expels germ of all forms of distemper. Best remedy ever known for mares In foaL One bottle guaranteed to cure one case. 60canla bottle; t&and 110 dozen of drugg1 and barneae dealers, or sent expresapald by manufacturers. Cut snows bow to poaltloe throat. Oar free Booklot prtvea everything. Local agente wanted. Largest sciMnc horse remedv In eustonoetwelve years. ClmistssdBataria)afl QOthon lndt U 8. A. fretTon" "request Iba'pSain wrapper, by taail