Wasn't Skeptical.
"A scientist claims that rubber can
be made from Indian corn," remarked
the boarder who had been perusing
the scientific notes in a patent-medicine
almanac.
"I guess he's right," growled the
canty-haired bachelor at the pedal
extremity of the mahogany. "The bat
ter cakes we have this morning would
seem to Indicate as much."
Laundry work at home would be
much: more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness. It is usually neces
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric la
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou-
ble can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it can be applied
much more thinly because of Its great
er strength than other makes.
Plan Beautiful Cemetery.
Munich is to have one of the most
beautiful graveyards In Germany.
The city has purchased about 300
acres of romantic forest land about
Ave miles from its borders, which will
be used as a cemetery. It will be the
first forest graveyard in Germany, and
It is to be so used that its idylllo
character will be preserved.
Important to Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle of
C ASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Bears the
Signature of
In Use For Over .'M Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
He Certainly Can.
Mrs. Benbam You used to say
that I was your life.
Benhavm Can't a man get tired of
life?
"Never believe anything bad aboin
anybody antil you know it to be true,"
says Dr. Henry Van Dyke. Does the
doctor want to destroy half the pleas
ure in life?
As a man dresses so he is esteemed.
-Danish.
LPFUl
Yob ron't tell your family doctor
the whole story about your private
illness you are too modest. You
need not be afraid to tell Mrs. Pink
ham, at Lynn, Mass., the things you
could not explain to the doctor. Your
letter will be held in the strictest con
fidence. From her vast correspond
ence with sick women during the
past thirty years she may have
gained the very knowledge that will
Help your case. Such letters as the fol
lowing, from grateful women, es
tablish beyond a doubt the power of
LYDIA E-PINKHAM'S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND
to conquer all female diseases.
Mrs. Norman It. Barndt, of Allen
town, Pa, writes :
' "Ever Blnce I was sixteen years of
age I had suffered from an organic de
rangement and female weakness; in
consequence I had dreadful headaches
and was extremely nervous. My physi
cian said I must go throngh an opera
tion to get well. A friend told me
about Lydia, E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound, and I took it and wrote you
for advice, following your directions
carefully, and thanks to you I am to
day a well woman, and I am telling
all my friends of my experience."
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pink
ham's Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousands of
women who have been troubled with
displacements, inflammation, ulcera
tion, fibroid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that bearing-down
feeling, flatulency, indiges
tion, dizzinesSjOr nervous prostration.
SIGH HEADACHE
n ii ii'ii I Positively cured by
CARTERS lhM lmIe Pl,u-
LIU Tbey also relieve Dla
. I IHflE Ires, from Dyspepsia, In-
digestlonaml Too Hearty
I I lyFR Eating. A perfect rem
I I Sa A edjr for Dizziness, Katr
' I I r ILL We sea. Drowsiness, Bad
I f Taste In the Mouth, Coat-
I ed Tonime, Pain in the
la!., TORPID LIVER,
titer regulate the Bowels. Purely Vegetable.
SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE.
E
mm
to-. . i
Genuine Must Bear
Fac-Simile Signature
REFUSE SUBSTITUTES.
CARTERS
Mir
TOLD AFTER DINNER
ALU KINDS OF NONSENSICAL
ANECDOTES GO THEN.
"Jones of Belham" a Good Example
of What Can Be Done in That
Respect New Version of
the Fatted Calf.
People like nonsense after flinnei.
They like anecdotes. The best of anec
dotes is that they need have nothing
to do with the subject. I know a man
who keeps about half a dozen anec
dotes always in stock. He can make
one or the other of them fit any par
ticular toast. I heard him propose
"The Army and Navy." He said that
some people took a gloomy view of
our national defenses. For himself, he
was an optimist. It was always best
to look at the bright side of every
thing. "That reminds me," he said, "of
my friend Jones Jones of Relhain.
His motto is that there is always some
thing to be thankful for. His wife is
not of such a cheerful disposition. She
is often annoyed at Jones' optimism.
"One day they were dining at a res
taurant, and they had placed before
them a very tough piece of veal. It
was an exceptionally tough piece of
veal.
" 'There,' said Mrs. Jones, 'now I
think it would puzzle even you to find
anything to be thankful for in that
piece of veal.'
" 'Not a bit of it,' said Jones, "I was
just at that very moment thinking
how fortunate it was that we hap
pened to meet it when it was young. "
Some time afterward I was at an
other dinner. It was the dinner of a
scientific society. This same man was
present again, and he was put up to
propose the toast of "Success to Aerial
Navigation."
"This is a tremendous question to
deal with," he said, "but we must
make the best of things, and I hope
you will bear with me while I try to
make the best of it. It is such a tough
subject that it reminds me of the piece
of veal which was once placed before
my friend Jones Jones of Belham."
And out came the story of Jones of
Belham again; and it was quite a hit.
So much so that he followed it up
with another.
Whereat the men of science gave
encouraging cheers and said "Go on!"
for "after dinner" makes the whole
world kin, and it is just as safe to play
with the lions of learning when they
have been well fed as with any of the
inferior animals.
" 'This calf, my friends,' said the
preacher, 'was no ordinary calf. This
calf, forsooth, was a fatted calf. And
mark you, it was no ordinary fatted
calf. This calf, my friends, had been
fatted up for years, and years, and
years.' "
Here is another dinner story: Two
men, who had been dining so well that
they could see twice as much as two
ordinary men, were rather imprudent
ly walking home by the canal bank.
Very soon one of them fell into the
water. This sobered him to some ex
tent, and he began to yell out at the
ti,7 of his voice:
"Hi ui'""ieJU. help! I can't swim!'
Help! I can't s .iu.'''-,
The other man, who had gone down
on his knees on the bank "and was
trying to steady himself by holding
tightly to a tuft of grass, surveyed his
struggling friend with a glassy stare.
"I can't sh-wim, either," he said,
"but I don't make such a b-b-blooming
fuss about it."
"Speeding Up."
It is idle to criticise at large the
American business man's habit of
overwork. Hut a single aspect of this
ruinous habit merits comment. The
American business man does not want
money Itself. He wants to "get there,"
to "get there" for his own, his wife's
sake, his family's sake. The full price
of "getting there" he does not always
calculate.
The man who works fast, many
hours a day, six or seven days a week,
is not merely paying in sheer energy
to "get there." He eats too much,
possibly drinks too much, does not
take exercise, but he pays in more
than physical detriment He is doing
more than Ill-treating his body in such
a way as he would never dream of ill
treating his automobile or his factory-
dynamo. Above everything else, the
American business man is "getting
there" at the expense of rounded de
velopment, at the expense of life itself
and of its large and rich experiences.
Tree Dentistry.
Many methods are being tried for
the preservation of old and historical
trees In the east, some of which are
intensely Interesting. On the estate of
John J. Little, at Bala, Pa., is a verv
old sycamore, the trunk of which had
become decayed. The cavity was
filled with stone and cement and
around its base was then built an
outer stone wall, so arranged that the
water would drain away from the
trunk of the tree. Popular Mechanics.
One Exception.
"Our new show is fine," said the
first actor; "there's plenty of snap and
go in it; the acts are short and so are
the Intermissions; no long waits at
all."
"Indeed?" inquired the other, Bar
castically, "not even for salary?"
Packing for Vacation.
Mme. A. The worst is deciding
what to take.
Mme. B. That's easy; I take all
my dresses and leave my husband!'
Transatlantic Tales.
THE TIME TEST.
That Is What Proves True Merit..
Doan's Kidney Pills bring the quick
est of relief from backache and kid
ney troubles. Is that
relief lasting? Let
Mrs. James M. Long,
of 113 Augusta St.,
Staunton, Va,, tell
you. On January 31st,
1903, Mrs. Long
wrote: "Doan's Kid
ney Pills have cured
me" (of pain in the
back, urinary trou
bles, bearing down sensations, etc.)
On June 20th, 1907, four and one-half
years later, she said: "I haven't bad
kidney trouble since. I repeat my
testimony."
Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
HIS ONLY OPPORTUNITY.
"Does your wife talk in her sleep,
major?
"No, T talk in her sleep It's the
only chance I get."
SHE COULD NOT WALK
For Months Burning Humor on Ankles
Opiates Alone Brought Sleep
Eczema Yielded to Cuticura.
"I had eczema for over two years.
I had two physicians, but they only
gave me relief for a short time and I
cannot enumerate the ointments and
lotions I used to no purpose. My ank
les were one mass of sores. The itch
ing and burning were so intense that
I could not sleep. I could not walk for
nearly four months. One day my hus
band said I had better try the Cuticura
Remedies. After using them three
times I had the best night's rest In
months unless I took an opf&ie. I
used one set of Cuticura Soap, Oint
ment, and Pills, and my ankles healed
in a short time. It is now a year since
I used Cuticura, and there has been no
return of the eczema. Mrs. David
Brown, Locke, Ark., May 18 and July
13, 1907."
The First Advertiser.
The author looked up from the
first chapter of his mammoth history
of advertising.
"I wonder," he murmured, "who
could have been the first manufacturer
to advertise? It is an item that would
fit in well here."
"There is no extant data on the sub
ject," said the farmer, "but I have
every reason to believe that the hen
Is the person you are looking for."
6ta1K or Ohio. City or Tolzdo, I
Luc, coutt. t "
FRHKva. Chkskt makes oath that he 1. senior
Eartner ofwie firm of F. .1. Cuexky & Co., diiloe;
uslness In n .ltr of Toledo. County and State
aforesaid, and t&at said firm will pay the sum of
OJfE HUXDUED -DOLLARS for each and every
case of CATA.RRB t hit cannot be cured by the use of
Hall's Catabbh Cure
V FRANK J. CHENEY.
Sworn to berore me and inbscrliied In my presence.
lU.hd.y of December. A. XLEXmx
SUXh J- - JfoTARY PrBLIO.
Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken Interaal'.y and acts
directly on the blood and mucous surtaxes of the
aysteiu. Send for testlmuulals. free. !
F. J. CHESE V CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by all Druggists.
Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation.
Methodist Episcopal Property.
The Methodist Episcopal church
'property in this country is now worth
about $187,000,000, on which there is
an indebtedness of $12,127,248.
When Your Throat Feels Sore
get a 2Zc box of Brown's Bronchial
Troches. They give immediate relief.
Contain nothing injurious.
Different.
The good die young, but this isn't
true of jokes.
A Beautiful Watch Fob Free
to those who ship us $5 worth of hides or
furs or buv guns or traps to that amount.
X. W. HIDE & FUR CO., Minneapolis.
Above Reward.
Good counsel has no price. French
Proverb.
OXLV ONE "BROMO QUININE"
That is I.AXATIVK HKOMO OCINISK. Look for
the signature of H. W. UHUVK. Used the World
over to Cure a Cold in One luy. 25c.
Is it not sheer madness to live poor
to die rich? Juvenal.
Your
Good
Looks
B M
CARE OF THE KITCHEN.
Clean Walla Are an Essential to
Sanitary Cooking.
It Is not only important to know
how to cook, but: it is equally impor
tant, to know where to cook. Cook
ing in a dirty kitchen can never pro
duce good food. The idea is simply
preposterous, yet kitchen walls are
left for months sometimes for years
without cleansing. '
In the first' place the kitchen wall
should have a light tint that the mer
est fleck of dirt can be seen; that the
sheerest cobweb can be brushed
away; that the tiniest water bug can
be discerned. It is all folly expecting
clean food in a kitchen with dirty
walls.
Never put a . wall coating on a
kitchen wall that is mixed with hot
water or that has glue in it, or sour
milk in it if mixed with cold water.
Glue- walls made from horses' hoofs
colored up with cheap colorings do j
not indicate good housekeeping. The
glue is- constantly flecking off, ' fall
ing into the food and the idea of food
flavored with glue made from horses'
hoofs is not appetizing.
Kitchen walls to be thoroughly sat
isfactory should be alabastined the
same as every other wall in the
house. They should be coated regu
larly in the spring and fall of each
year with a light ticj.
The care of the pantry requires
constant attention. The walls Should
be brushed over every year, the
dishes removed from the shelves
which should be thoroughly wiped
with hot water. If there are ant
holes or any other insects in the pan
tries a thick putty of the wall coat
ing can be made and all the ant holes,
even small mice holes can be filled
with it which will protect the pantry
from the incursions of disagreeable
insects and mice.
Gloomy Outlook.
Long Winded Orator (lowering his
voice to an impressive whisper.)
"Have you ever, O, my friends, al
lowed yourselves to wonder where you
will he and what you will be doing
when another century shall have rolled
around?" i
Wearied Auditor (in an equally im
pressive whisper) "Yes we'll still
be here waiting for you to finish your
speech!"
Sheer . white goods, in fact, any fine
wash goods when new, owe much of
their -attractiveness to the way they
are laundered, this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
ty. Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory if proper attention was
given to starching, the first essential
being good Starch, which has sufficient
strength to stiffen, without thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
j'ou will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance of your work.
' On Diminutives.
The Sphinx was asking a riddle.
"Why does a man in love always
want to call a 200-pound maiden his
'little girl?' " "
With one acord they gave it up.
Chocolate Pie! Chocolate Pie!
The more you eat the more you want if
they are made from "Ol'R-PIK" Prepara
tion. Try it and tell your friends how easy
it is to make delirious i-hoeohre pies.
Three varieties Lemon, Chocolate, and
Custard at grocers, 10 cents a package.
It may be a blessed fortune for
Socrates that Xantippe didn't keep a
diary to be published 2,000 years after
her death.
The very wisest advice: take Garfield
Tea whenever a laxative is indicated!
Pleasant to the taste, implp, pure, mild,
potent and health-giving. Made of Herbs
not drugs.
If a rich girl has fiery red hair it's a
sign that all her acquaintances will
tell her it is golden.
ni.ES erKKii i.T e to i bats.
PAZO OINTMKNT is guaranteed to cwre any case
of Itching. Blind. rlleedinir or Protruding; Pllos io
6 to 14 days or money refunded. 0e.
A man's ideal woman is one kind of
a pipe dream. ,
Mrs. Wloelow's Soothing; Syrup.
Tor children tecfblnir, softens tbe gums, reduces In
flammation, aijays pain, cure wind collu. use a bottle.
The young man who hesitates dur
ing leap year is won.
msm
vi svv ivr!--?
Woman's good looks depend, of course, very largely upon her health. If you
are weak, sick, miserable, and suffei: from pain or other symptoms of womanly ail
ments, your face and appearance will, quickly show it, and nothing will bring back
your good looks, until you cure your "female troubles.
is the medicine for you to try, when sick. Mrs. Sarah Avery, of Moark, Ark., "writes:
"I suffered with womanly troubles for two years, and nothing helped me until I took
Cardui. Now I am well." Try it. Sold everywhere, in $1.00 bottles.
TVHITV Ffta? Hfl'! IlftOff valuable1 hint a Wn'dTet, exercise, rtSScnt
snssaiaw aa wava, aaaasu wvam prepaid, l-adieav evqviaory jjcpa, roe cnattapoofa eainrar km. t-oaaisuiooaa. aim
WOES OF THE QUERY EDITOR.
Little Wonder the Poor Man la Gray
Before Hi Time.
The "Answers to Correspondents"
man, feverishly rumpling the hair that
his duties had too soon made gray,
tossed a letter on the table. ;v '
"An ex-widow of 30," he groaned,
"says she loves her second husband
better than her first. She wants to
know if this is wicked or un-Chris-tian."
'
He sneered and ripped open another
letter. Then he said:
"A Methodist minister has tod large
a nose. What is he to do? What, in
deed?" He read a third letter. . .
"Here's a girl," he said, "who wants:
to know in what winter resort, hotel1
she will meet the largest number' of
eligible bachelors."
"Reggie," he went on, "asks me the
best way to avoid the effects of heavy
drinking. I'll tell him, I suppose, to
avoid heavy drinking.
" 'Is it possible,' Charles inquires,
'to tell when a black man blushes?'"1
"So the questions go, ten or twelve
of them a day. Is it any wonder I am
gray before my time?"
Millions in Oats and Barley.
Kothing will pay you better for 1908
than to sow a plenty of big yielding oats
and barley with oats at 40c to 50c a bu.
(Salzer"s new Emperor William Oats ay
eraged 50 bu. per acre more than any
other variety in 1907) would pay immense
ly while Salzer's Silver King Barley which
proved itself the biggest yielder at th
Wisconsin Agricultural Station during
1907 if you had planted 50 acres would
hare given you in 1907 just $3,500.00 on 50
acres. It is an enormous yielder.
JUST SEND THIS NOTICE AND 10c
to the John A. Salzer Seed Co., La
Lrosse, wis., and ,we will mail you the
only original seed catalog published in
America with samples of Emperor Wil
liam Oats, Silver King Barley, Billion Dol
lar Grass which produces 12 tons per acre.
Sainfoin the dry soil luxuriator, etc., etc.;
and if you send 14c we add a package of
new farm seeds never before seen by you.
The highest path is pointed out by
the pure ideal of those who look up
to us, and who, if we tread less loftily,
may never look so high again. Haw
thorne, t
With a smooth iron and Defiance
Starch, you can launder your shirt
waist just as well at home as ' the
steam laundry can; it will have the
proper stiffness and finish, there will
be less wear, and tear, of the goods',
and it will be a positive pleasure to
use a Starch that does not stick to the
iron.
The best swimmer is the first to
drown himself. Italian. , 1
STIFF, YES?
WET AND DAMP CAUSE
COLD IN THE JOINTS
S- JACOBS
TAKES OUT THE PAIN AT
ONCE.BEMOVESTHE STIFF
NESS. PREVENTS ITS
RETURN. TOO. FINE FOR
BRUISES, SPRAINS AND
SORENESS.
Price 25c ani 50c.
SHOES AT ALL
PRICES. FOR EVERY
MEMBER OFTHE FAMILY
MEN, BOYS, WOMEN, MISSES AND CHILDREN.
K-m. W. I. OougtuB makao and sella """"sSfi
men's &2.BO, S3.CJO anrf $3. BO xftovm ,
tnmn mny ohms mtasmaaturvr
J)S& world, beoauso I ftcur hold
W. L Dnutrlas $4 and fi Gilt Erfra Shaas Cannot
sri'AiriOK. W. I,. Douglas-name and price Is stamied to"IJ,M,,f," wortdtMl?Ki
Sold by the best shoe dealers everywhere. Shoe maUed from r?FtA,, "ILMkL
sraiea i.aiviOE iree o any aauress.
Bettei Tlx an
At Oivc-TsntK
Our REFINED TAR is the best
One gallon covers ass square teet 01 sunacv.
For dipping shingles, painting felt roofs. Iron or metal surfaces
Our R I-KIN ED TAR haa no equal. Especially adapted tor palatine
barns, poultry houses, hog snd cattle sheds, as It is a perfect (crmk
i ""J Ll'J'il'.'c'.-.Er-'S .t. forfcrWn, H
Brevonrins mud in pig pens, thereby preventing coughs and other lung trouble p,
P l"ck U e o'e colorin which Our REFINED TAR is made. To. finish oo metal
Is similar to Japan; on wood Reflned Tar soaks inlike paint, pieservlngj the woody .
No samples are sent out, tt Is sold In small quantities. Try It. You will use nothing
I.e. Write ua today. OMS.H Gas CoatrAHV 1838 South 10ih St.. Omsbe, Nab.
r mmL 1
SPOHN MEDICAL CO.,
a
Cliir?rc3eina
acts dentlyyet prompt
ly ontae bowels, cleanses
jKe. system ejectualy
assist one in overcoming
habitual constipation
permanently. IS get it
benejicial effects buy
tKe Genuine.
Manulacturedi iy the
California
FioSmupCo.
solo sr LttaNorDRucasrs-etK rBomt
What a Settler Can Secure In
WESTERN CANADA
160 Acre Grain-Growrac Land FREE. '
20 to 40 Bushcla Wheat to tlw Acrcu -
40 to 90 Bushels Oats to tfao Aero.
35 to 50 Bushels Barley to the Acre.
Timber for Fencmc and Bnildiaga FREE.
Good Laws with Low Taxation.
Splendid Railroad Facilities and Low Raton,
School and Churches Convenient.
Satisfactory Market for all Productions.
Good Climate and Perfect Health. -
Chance for Profitable Investment
Some of tbe choicest grain-producing land in .
Saskatchewan and Alberta may now be ac
quired in these most healthful and prosperous
sections under the-
Revised Homestead Regulation
by which entry may be made by proxy ('on cer
tain conditions), by the father, mother, ma,
daughter, brother or sister of intending; homar
steader. .
Entry fee in each case is $10.00. For pamphlet,
"LastBestWest,"partlcularsastorate,rontea,
best time to go and where to locate, apply to
W. V. BBHHETT.
Ml Hew Tsrk Life oilaux. Osaka, Rskraska.
nrrn
I THAT'S PUS
All OUT ned la tea
la mm 1 1 All oor seed la tested
II I II and warranted to be
a mw reuaoie. write, zor
snrnew Catalosne. It's FHRE.
J. J. a. Sksmt a fas. Mmssiiim. Man.
W. N. U., LINCOLN, NO. 7, 1968.
OIL
mnm
thvlr
Ba Enualled At An! Price
v . "
Paiiit
The Cost
wood and metal preaerrarire knows.
11 'Wffitt Wat
COLT DISTEMPER
Can be handled very easily. Tbe si ok are eared, and all otben Is
same stable, no matter bow "exposed." kept from having tbe dia
tease, by using SiOHN'S LIQUID DISTEMPER CURB. Olre on
thettmgne. or in feed. Acts on tbe blood and expels germ of
all forms of distemper. Best remedy ever known for mares In foaL
One bottle guaranteed to cure one case. 60canla bottle; t&and
110 dozen of drugg1 and barneae dealers, or sent expresapald by
manufacturers. Cut snows bow to poaltloe throat. Oar free
Booklot prtvea everything. Local agente wanted. Largest sciMnc
horse remedv In eustonoetwelve years.
ClmistssdBataria)afl QOthon lndt U 8. A.
fretTon" "request Iba'pSain wrapper, by taail
