BARNEY GOOGLE_ After All, There’s Nothing Funny About This to Barney Drawn for The Omaha Bee by Billy De Beck
0 " 17 (Copyright 1923)
BRINGING UP FATHER-Ten Years Ago_u. sRp!u„e«ofN« Drawn for The Omaha Bee by McManus
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MAxE ANY BREAKS I WHAT** THE . . 7^ c t»
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©1913 »V l»TL fKTUHt Se»VICl |NC\
ABIE THE AGENT— There’s No Rest for the Weary.
/ MOy MAIL TES, MUSTER KABIBBlEl ' AS ALL or US RECEIVE AND READ OUR MAIL,UE\|
ACCUMULATED ^OU HAVEN'T BREW NEVER STOP TO REALIZE THE HARDSHIPS THE j
1 'Together 'to 'the Cajjb here Postman qces thrcu^h in deuver\nc, it • I
V POC. ME03 lATEIV \THES RE ujav underpaid »t’m A qREAT /
. VI ' L," “ BELIEVER. IN RAISING THE
.VlV.yT \ L^fj Yd PAT Op MAH. CARRIERS.' / r
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THROUGH RAIM.SMOU, SUJSW, Ml«> = , IT S HARDSHIP | TaWTHAY AWT THE 1
K1EMER CDMPIWWINQ.THW BIS* TWE'lR LWES AMU NOT MUCH j iaoqst PACT ttoniir
AW HEALTH ID t>o THBRfcUYY1. THE ) \ SAURVU.’ J LLQRST PART ABOUT
V MAIL CARRIER'S UOB IS NO CINCH1..' ^y v->-- \ THAT 'iOB^
-£T*\ \ \TS STEADY
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A C; A 1= £*. '
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EDDIE’S FRIENDS
5
' (c)lWJ «r Iwtx Fiatuwi Virv»<« t««e.
rsfli'VE E*P Y - TIME TALES
... •
THE TALE OF
MISTAH MULE
m ARTHUR SCOTT. BAILEY
(jetting Acquainted.
CHAPTER II.
.nmer Green's old horse. Ebenezer
stood In the barn and gazed none too
pleasantly over the partition at his
new neighbor in the next stall.
llis neighbor, Mistah Mule, cocked
rare of his long black ears at
Ebenezer.
Ole boss,” he said with something
k like a grin, "I and you Is goln' to
be hitched up together in the
loomin'."
This news almost teok Ebenezer's
breath away.
"What:" be exclaimed. "Is Farmer
Green going to work us In double
harness? I—I can hardly believe it/"
"That what lie done told his boy,"
Mistah Mule declared. "But don't
you go to worryin’ yourself 'bout
work. I kin show you plenty tricks
to git outer workln'."
The old horse, Ebenezer, stared
coldly at Mistah Mule. Ebenezer was
no shirk. And he didn't like the
thought of being driven with a part
ner like this one.
"Where was your home before you
came here?" ho asked Mistah Mule.
"My real home Is 'way down
south,” the newcomer Informed him.
'T came north last spring. An' I
been upendin' my time over where
t *y bulldin' the new railroad."
"f-'o you've been working on the
railroad this summer:" Ebenezer ex
claimed.
"Not workln’. exactly!" said Mistah
Mule. "You might soy I been
balkin'."
"What!" Ebenezer gasped. "Are
you balky, sometimes?”
“I most gen'rally is." said Mistah
Mule. And then he gave his odd
laugh, "Hee haw! Hee-haw!"
"Get me give you a bit of advice."
laid the old horse, looking vei v
solemn. "Just forget such tricks ns
balking aod kicking. You’ve come n
1 make your home among kind peopb
You'll bo well treated here. And you
ought to behave politely. When
Farmer Green asks you to work, I
b aa. you'll do your best."
Mistah Mule threw back his head
and showed his yellow teeth In a dis
agreeable grin.
“X has to have my fun," he re
marked. "Sometimes I has it one
way; sometimes nziother.”
"You'll have the best of times on
this farm,” Kbenezer advised Mistah
Mule, "if only you'll bo gentle and
willing. I've lived here all my life;
and I < ouldn’t ask for a better home.
And I've always tried to behave my
self.”
*!<•* me dive gou. a bit of advlae,*
Mid the old boi-M. looking v«*j solsmn.
"Don't you never kick?" Mlstah
Mule Inquired.
"Oh. yes! When I'm In the pasture
X sometimes kick."
"I calls that kickin' up." Mistah
Mule retorted with a snort. "What
about kickin' folks?"
"Nevsr! Never!" Ebenezer replied
In a shocked tone.
Just then a step told them that
Farmer Oreen had entered the hnrn.
"Watch out. if ho comes near me!"
Mistah Mule warned Khenezer.
Copyright, 1923 >
A "Want ' Ad in the ' Clothing and
Fins" column of The Omaha Bee 'Will
attract the attention of at least one
of the 350,000 renders who Is looking
for tho very lliiugs you are offering
for sal*. ,
Problems That
Perplex
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX
The Jealous Girl.
Dear Miss Fairfax: I am ?0 ard a
dancing Instructress. I met a young
man who cornes to my place with a
girl I do not like at all. He says he
would not come If It were riot for me.
1 told hls friend that I didn't want
to have anything more to do with
him while he bothers with this girl,
and that I was going to talk It over
with him. But hls friend told me not
to, ns It would make him fcpl bad.
The last couple of times he has been
down I have shown a different atti
tude toward him.
He does not realize that T like bim
—in fact, 1 have fallen In b ve with
him. He took me home onp night and
he claimed he liked mo very much,
ind all hls fi lends say tin- Kim*. Now
he sees the change In mo and won
ders what It all Is nlmut.
Now, Miss Fairfax, do you think
that I urn doing right by acting this
way? A. P.
Why shouldn't this young man
hrlng a girl with him when ho comes
to dance at the place where you
work? As one of the assistants you
are not supposed to dance « xelu ive
1 v with one person, hut to divide
your dances so that those who really
need Instruction tan have it. if the
man took every one of your dances,
don’t you suppose there would be n
complaint? You nro not paid to amuse
yourself. Why should the man either
cost you your position nr stand around
doing nothing while you dance with
others? Have you a right to criticise
the other girl and pnss sentence on
her? She was hls friend before you
were. There are those who criticise
your profession. Bo more tolerant
and less Jealous.
Round Shoulders.
Hear Miss Fairfax: I read your ad
vice to otlu-is and think It Is fine
Can anything he done for round shoul
ders I have heard of braces for
straightening them, hut I don’t want
to wear them. Is there some other
way? Thanking you for votir trouble.
Yours truly. MARTHA P.
A good exercise for straightening
round shoulders Is to stand erect.
Weight on ttie ball of the feet, hand"
on chest, fingers pointing horizontally
toward each other, elbows on n level
with the shoulders With vnur rvrs
raised toward the celling sl iwlvbend
your body forward at llu- hips, keep
lag your eyes fixed on a point that
you have chosen. Do not let your
elbows am: If your practice the ex
erclse faithfully for 15 minute- ea< h
day. you will learn to stand erect
without effort.
My Marriage Problems
Adele fi.irrlson's New Phaae of "Revelation* of a Wife "
The New s the Teh cram Held fur
Dicky's Friend.
'"nils t.« a pretty pickle!" Dicky '
said, still with the fruwti whi' h had
greeted t laire Foster s announcement
of the telegram on the mantel. But
both frown and words were now di
rected toward nte, and 1 knew that
if possible he would contrive to saddle
me with some variety of blame con
cerning the wire.
He took the yellow envelope front j
the mantel, turned It over In the ab
surd way people have of handling
telegrams or letters which they do n-d
wish to open, bit whose contents
they ought to know, then looked at me
writ boringly.
‘T suppose It was beneath your dig
nity to make nny Inquiries ' oncom
ing old Idoti’s B'ldross, so that this
telegram could be sent on to him.
Dicky Is Worried.
T looked at him with the cool,
poised, secretly amused gaze whk h
every wife km w s Is sn <v,|f tv
efficient weapon.
’ 1*0 you know his address i ''in
ter* *1, smoothly.
' What's that got to do will* t ho
snapped.
"Nothing, save that If y**u i< • »
If. and had given it to me when »*>
came here. 1 would have lie* ti able
to forward the telegram. As it was,
I returned so near the tine **f v ur
own arrival that I knew It would be
Uncle Sam Savs
Apple Ore hard Hcnnt allow.
Orchard renovation InvoK* til', i
or noma mibatltuto thartfor. f- ttlll*
Ing, pruning, Insert and di*«i»*o con
trol, and *uoh other operation* a* t*i>*
cIa! condition* may require.
Orchard* that are unprnduettve at 1
unprofitable t>ee*u*e of neglei t n«» far
too common. In auction* where up
pt«s« *re produced commercially. «ii< h
orchards are likely t«» he i merlon*
menace beoaiiee th#y usually Imrlwir
Injurious Insert* and (tlucane*.
This hrvnUI* t glvc* Instruction* for
renovating and i e (uv* noting m
chard*.
ftaadei* nf Thr « linVn.i I*** ix oh
tain a cnp\ «»c tills bookie? free a
long as the free «111i«»ii la“'** by ask
ing for "J’. I‘ n«lili> ‘Minn their j
request ft) the IMvIhIou of t’llhtlcn
lion*. Department of Agriculture.
Washington, D. C# j
useless for me to do anything about
it.”
"Always there with the ready allhl,"
Dicky sneered, and the familiar
phi,iso brought memories of times
when 1 had shed hitter tears at hear 1
Ing It from his lips. But It rebounded
f cm my menial armor now. leaving
no more sear than a haby'a rubber
ball might leave, and I smiled provok
lngly at him.
"It's an ever present help In time
of trouble," 1 murmur<-d
Dicky muttered something under
his breath and stared down at the
telegram, evidently worried.
"When did this come?" hq queried
sharply.
I left at 10 and T Imagine from
what Claire said that It arrived short
ly afterward," I replied.
•Tre((y Vifty, F.h*"
"Seven hours," he calculated I
"Well, theta * no other way out' I've \
got to open it. It may he something j
that ought to have an answer right I
away, and I can't get Boh on the wire
for hours They're miles from a rail j
mud, nnd while I know the address
from who h a message van be sent to
them. 1 couldn't get a reply before I
morning. So here goes. I guess I
know old Boh well enough to open a
t» legram for him."
lie tore open the envelope, unfold
e,l its enclosure, and read the con
tents, tho while l watched him with
subconscious eagerness. Was It ter
rible new* for our absent host In the
telegram
ll meded hut n second s scrutiny of
Dicky's features, nlwsvs expressive, to
relieve my anxiety on that score, lie
was too warm-hearted. I knew. too
fond of his friends, to read unmoved
any tidings bail for them Ami on Ms
face when he had finished loading
there was Intense surprlso and genu
ine pleasure, emotions evidently so
strong that they banished all recol
lection of the bad temper he bad lust
exhibited toward me. And he tossed
the telegram over to m« with the pa j
tent expectation that I, too, should
read it and rejoice. v,
.hrd lis*k at that!*' he said Jubi
lantly "uld Bob's certainly struck ti
this title Ami 1 never knew exact
ly whnt lie was up to 1 \ f always
known he had ambitions to get on the
writer’s end Instead of the editor’s
hut I didn't know h< s accomplished
this much."
My pique prompted me to hand the j
telegram back n th th" remark that 1
was not Interested in It, but my curi
osity triumphed over my rancor, and
I took tip the telegram and read Its
br^-f contents with interest:
"Bencher pronounce* your novel
one tangerine," it Isgan. ' Predict*
hit of year. But firm Insist* on
stipulation to -which you objected in
first negotiation*. Will make It tip
? "U financially, hut are obdurate.
My private advice to you is to ac
!-• lit their terms. It mean* your
whole future, please wire me im
mediately your decision, so that I
may pas* it on to them. Personal
congratulations, old man.
(Signed! WOODWARD."
"Pretty nifty, eh"" Dicky queried,
when I had finished reading it. ' Rut
eld Hoh deserves every hit of It. Put
now. what the devil's to he done”
Woodw ind, whoever he is. ought to
he notified of this telegram's delay,
and I haven't the slightest idea where
to find him. Cant you think of
something?"
(Copyright. IftJj
% • ,y S'-'-- \ t*«
| |
E ~
Chew a few Pleasant Tablets,
Instant Stomach Relief!
A, ;-l Mom . >.. 11-a i! tulll.es*. If
von let l Heated. *tvh or uncomforta
ble nftcr rating, here is Imrmb as ic
lief Pape* Dia pepsin" settle* the
sti'innch ami iwrects digestion the
moment It leitches the stomach.
Tin* guaranteed stomach corrective
cost* but a few cent* at any drug
•lore* Keep It handy’
Rheumatic twinges-ended!
Tlie basic cause of most rheumatic pain
ts congestion. Apply Sloans. It stimu
lates circulation.breaks up congestion a
-pain is relieved! . e.
Sloans Liniment^'
—kills pain/
WtijyUMiM (Lmit
AfU KRTI- Ml I NT'. AIIVKRTI'K'IJ 'TN,
I
SAY “BAYER” when you buy Aspirin
I.'nlee?* you ih(- Tifiint* “Baypi
i on ]K]cka«e ur on tal»M« you are
I.ot getting the genuine Haver prod
uct prescribed by pbysii .ai.s over
t'venty five yrars ar.d proved safe by
millions for colds, headache, tooth
ache, earache, neuralgia, lumbago,
rheumatism, neuritis, and for pain In
general. Accept only "Bayer ' pack
age which contains proper direction*
Handy boxes of twelve tablefs cos
few cerd*. Druggist* also sell bottle*
of 24 and 100. Aspirin is the trad*
mark of Bayer Manufacture of Mon*
aceticacidestcr of Sallcyllearid.
ADVRRTIMSMKNT*.
APPLYSULPIBR
Just the moment you apply Mer.tho
Sulphur to an itching, burning or
broken out skin, the itching Mops
and healing beglna, says a notedf*kin
specialist. This sulphur preparation,
made into a pleasant cold cream, gives
such a quick relief, even to fiery ec
zema. that nothing has ter been
found to take its plaee.
Because of its germ destroying prop
erties, it quickly subdues the itch-.
irp, cools the irritation and heals the j
eczema right up. leaving a clear,
smooth skin In place of ugly erup
tlor*. rash, pimples or roughness.
You do not have to wall for im- ,
prnvement. It quickly shows, i oil can j
get a little jar of Itowie* Mentho
Sulphur at any drug store.
\nv i.RTI-EWENTS.
APPLYSREETEA
Look Young! Bring Back Its
Natural Color, Gloss and
Attractiveness.
Common garden brewM into a
heavy tea with sulphur added, will
turn gray, streaked and fad«*d ha*r
be .lot fjlly dark and luxuriant.
a ft*\r applications will prove a revela
tion if your hair is fading, streaked or
gray. Mixing the Sage Tea and Sul*
ph ur it home, though. Is troublesome.
An easier way is to get a bottle of
Wyeth s Sage and Sulphur Com
pound at any drug store all ready
for tise. This is the oldtime recipe
improved ly the addition of other in
gredients.
While wispy gray. faded ha.r 1»
not sinful, we all desire to retain our
youthful appearance and attractive
ness. By darkening your hair with
Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Com
pound, no one can tell because it
does it so naturally, so evenly. You
just dampen a spongo or soft hrush
with it and draw th.s through your
hair, taking one small strand at a
time, by morning ail gray hairs have
disappeared, and, after another appli
cation or two, your liair becomes
beautiful dark, glossy, soft and lux
uriant.
If Grown People
who are rundown in vitality
and out of sorts, would Nit
realize the strength-restoring
power of rich, nourishing
Scott’s Emulsion
I they would not dream of
| doing without its
| health-building bene
j fits. Rich in vita*
i mines, Scott's has
I helped thousands
j achieve strength of body.
| !.« * «w.ww. K J a a
-
*
. &
RJ a preventive ntc«lli tne ^
n Avoid ^
P Constipation *
l I
a *
d at bod time »♦ illktH'p
3 ytw ut'll ,iml hew) -
J yuf«K 'Wtf# t * KU l
DAME
NATURE
CREAM
Ends Chap
AI>VKKIl'£.»liS>T.
Mrs. IDA A. ORTON
Every Woman Need* a Ionic
at Some Period of Life.
Read This.
Omaha. Neb.—“In my yours
motherh . 1 I had a alege of vines*
that affected me to that none of the
d.gestive organ* were functioning
properly. I also had bearing pains.
Dr. P.erce's Golden Medical Discov
ery and Favorite Prescription are the
medicines X took and they cured me
of these ailments also strengthened
and built up my general health so
that f r years my physical condition
was perfect. I raxne through the
critical time cf life In good shape,
with no trouble at all. and I fee! sure
that It waa because Dr. Pierce a Fa
vorite Prescription and Golden Med.
cal Discovery had strengthened me
during the earlier stage of inward
weakness. I madly recommend these
excellent remedies of D: Pierce's to
all women who are in ill health.’-—
Mrs. Ida Orton. f605H Fprsgoe street.
Your druggist will sell you Dr.
Pierce's medicines in tablets or
liquid, or send 10c for trial pkg to
Dr. Pierce's Invalids' Hotel in Buf
falo, N. Y.. and w :!» for free medical
advice.
AIM t KThKMlAr*.
Go After
Rheumatism
Right
F ret of all* rheum*? bra mu*? he treat
ed ?r,te-tia!!|r. The Me od should b# pur!
fled r.- i the »t':«» h ar i k ineya n.adt
to do thoir vork properly M**?-ajra tha
ecre ar.d ewc ’en par ’ * at ’.ra«t t«nc*di‘’t
w.'h an oil that «; bo? irritate or in
' < .e the *k; . Kthe t- *t a op^®
to help the treatment
You can set • very*h:na n- .naaary in the
complete Ar.t: Trie outfit. If your ur.r.e
« d eco’rr* i nr haa » bad odor, the offset
f Anti-1 ir T«>n wt i (rue >ou an eariv
mfideiu* n treatn;er*? The yar -f Ar ? • -
, , , • , - • ■ f ? h e
patnflil »ur?»-' » A avipply of the famou*
FuUmati F * n tl :'v *h the corroct
!aaat1ve.
The*- th»iy* prepara.tM « contain <*n v
vet eta Me U%re*tt#ti?a All are It* one
**nerou# compact j The price
oom’.et. *1 * and there la a money
b* k ruarantie with * + rr parfcanre. Oot
the Anti-T' ov.it: today from the Gher
man A Mft'ontirl Pru* Ptv'rea
rhvsicians ..d'i.*»> keeping
the hoe cl* open a* a safe
guard aga.nst tirippe or
lnfltieiua.
When too are constipated,
not enough of Nature’s 5
lubricating liquid is pro
duced in the bowel to keep
the foot! waste soft and
moving Doctors proscribe
Nu.:ol N cause it act* 1-sc
this natural lubricant and
thns necorc* regular bowel
moremems bt Nature’* own
method—luhricatimj.
'•t*l tw a IwSrteaaf—n.{ •
r»t r a I .H «w or Uitltre ae |
r**»e< (rV Try it today.
It
"hen in Need of Help
Try
Omaha Bee Want Ads.
