BARNEY GOOGLE_ After All, There’s Nothing Funny About This to Barney Drawn for The Omaha Bee by Billy De Beck 0 " 17 (Copyright 1923) BRINGING UP FATHER-Ten Years Ago_u. sRp!u„e«ofN« Drawn for The Omaha Bee by McManus • - PLE*.«,6 DOTH I -. _ MAxE ANY BREAKS I WHAT** THE . . 7^ c t» s-' fepj l=pj ^ igj , ~ [tp-j i ©1913 »V l»TL fKTUHt Se»VICl |NC\ ABIE THE AGENT— There’s No Rest for the Weary. / MOy MAIL TES, MUSTER KABIBBlEl ' AS ALL or US RECEIVE AND READ OUR MAIL,UE\| ACCUMULATED ^OU HAVEN'T BREW NEVER STOP TO REALIZE THE HARDSHIPS THE j 1 'Together 'to 'the Cajjb here Postman qces thrcu^h in deuver\nc, it • I V POC. ME03 lATEIV \THES RE ujav underpaid »t’m A qREAT / . VI ' L," “ BELIEVER. IN RAISING THE .VlV.yT \ L^fj Yd PAT Op MAH. CARRIERS.' / r I —- ” 1 THROUGH RAIM.SMOU, SUJSW, Ml«> = , IT S HARDSHIP | TaWTHAY AWT THE 1 K1EMER CDMPIWWINQ.THW BIS* TWE'lR LWES AMU NOT MUCH j iaoqst PACT ttoniir AW HEALTH ID t>o THBRfcUYY1. THE ) \ SAURVU.’ J LLQRST PART ABOUT V MAIL CARRIER'S UOB IS NO CINCH1..' ^y v->-- \ THAT 'iOB^ -£T*\ \ \TS STEADY I? J J*. v__ A C; A 1= £*. ' - /I EDDIE’S FRIENDS 5 ' (c)lWJ «r Iwtx Fiatuwi Virv»<« t««e. rsfli'VE E*P Y - TIME TALES ... • THE TALE OF MISTAH MULE m ARTHUR SCOTT. BAILEY (jetting Acquainted. CHAPTER II. .nmer Green's old horse. Ebenezer stood In the barn and gazed none too pleasantly over the partition at his new neighbor in the next stall. llis neighbor, Mistah Mule, cocked rare of his long black ears at Ebenezer. Ole boss,” he said with something k like a grin, "I and you Is goln' to be hitched up together in the loomin'." This news almost teok Ebenezer's breath away. "What:" be exclaimed. "Is Farmer Green going to work us In double harness? I—I can hardly believe it/" "That what lie done told his boy," Mistah Mule declared. "But don't you go to worryin’ yourself 'bout work. I kin show you plenty tricks to git outer workln'." The old horse, Ebenezer, stared coldly at Mistah Mule. Ebenezer was no shirk. And he didn't like the thought of being driven with a part ner like this one. "Where was your home before you came here?" ho asked Mistah Mule. "My real home Is 'way down south,” the newcomer Informed him. 'T came north last spring. An' I been upendin' my time over where t *y bulldin' the new railroad." "f-'o you've been working on the railroad this summer:" Ebenezer ex claimed. "Not workln’. exactly!" said Mistah Mule. "You might soy I been balkin'." "What!" Ebenezer gasped. "Are you balky, sometimes?” “I most gen'rally is." said Mistah Mule. And then he gave his odd laugh, "Hee haw! Hee-haw!" "Get me give you a bit of advice." laid the old horse, looking vei v solemn. "Just forget such tricks ns balking aod kicking. You’ve come n 1 make your home among kind peopb You'll bo well treated here. And you ought to behave politely. When Farmer Green asks you to work, I b aa. you'll do your best." Mistah Mule threw back his head and showed his yellow teeth In a dis agreeable grin. “X has to have my fun," he re marked. "Sometimes I has it one way; sometimes nziother.” "You'll have the best of times on this farm,” Kbenezer advised Mistah Mule, "if only you'll bo gentle and willing. I've lived here all my life; and I < ouldn’t ask for a better home. And I've always tried to behave my self.” *!<•* me dive gou. a bit of advlae,* Mid the old boi-M. looking v«*j solsmn. "Don't you never kick?" Mlstah Mule Inquired. "Oh. yes! When I'm In the pasture X sometimes kick." "I calls that kickin' up." Mistah Mule retorted with a snort. "What about kickin' folks?" "Nevsr! Never!" Ebenezer replied In a shocked tone. Just then a step told them that Farmer Oreen had entered the hnrn. "Watch out. if ho comes near me!" Mistah Mule warned Khenezer. Copyright, 1923 > A "Want ' Ad in the ' Clothing and Fins" column of The Omaha Bee 'Will attract the attention of at least one of the 350,000 renders who Is looking for tho very lliiugs you are offering for sal*. , Problems That Perplex By BEATRICE FAIRFAX The Jealous Girl. Dear Miss Fairfax: I am ?0 ard a dancing Instructress. I met a young man who cornes to my place with a girl I do not like at all. He says he would not come If It were riot for me. 1 told hls friend that I didn't want to have anything more to do with him while he bothers with this girl, and that I was going to talk It over with him. But hls friend told me not to, ns It would make him fcpl bad. The last couple of times he has been down I have shown a different atti tude toward him. He does not realize that T like bim —in fact, 1 have fallen In b ve with him. He took me home onp night and he claimed he liked mo very much, ind all hls fi lends say tin- Kim*. Now he sees the change In mo and won ders what It all Is nlmut. Now, Miss Fairfax, do you think that I urn doing right by acting this way? A. P. Why shouldn't this young man hrlng a girl with him when ho comes to dance at the place where you work? As one of the assistants you are not supposed to dance « xelu ive 1 v with one person, hut to divide your dances so that those who really need Instruction tan have it. if the man took every one of your dances, don’t you suppose there would be n complaint? You nro not paid to amuse yourself. Why should the man either cost you your position nr stand around doing nothing while you dance with others? Have you a right to criticise the other girl and pnss sentence on her? She was hls friend before you were. There are those who criticise your profession. Bo more tolerant and less Jealous. Round Shoulders. Hear Miss Fairfax: I read your ad vice to otlu-is and think It Is fine Can anything he done for round shoul ders I have heard of braces for straightening them, hut I don’t want to wear them. Is there some other way? Thanking you for votir trouble. Yours truly. MARTHA P. A good exercise for straightening round shoulders Is to stand erect. Weight on ttie ball of the feet, hand" on chest, fingers pointing horizontally toward each other, elbows on n level with the shoulders With vnur rvrs raised toward the celling sl iwlvbend your body forward at llu- hips, keep lag your eyes fixed on a point that you have chosen. Do not let your elbows am: If your practice the ex erclse faithfully for 15 minute- ea< h day. you will learn to stand erect without effort. My Marriage Problems Adele fi.irrlson's New Phaae of "Revelation* of a Wife " The New s the Teh cram Held fur Dicky's Friend. '"nils t.« a pretty pickle!" Dicky ' said, still with the fruwti whi' h had greeted t laire Foster s announcement of the telegram on the mantel. But both frown and words were now di rected toward nte, and 1 knew that if possible he would contrive to saddle me with some variety of blame con cerning the wire. He took the yellow envelope front j the mantel, turned It over In the ab surd way people have of handling telegrams or letters which they do n-d wish to open, bit whose contents they ought to know, then looked at me writ boringly. ‘T suppose It was beneath your dig nity to make nny Inquiries ' oncom ing old Idoti’s B'ldross, so that this telegram could be sent on to him. Dicky Is Worried. T looked at him with the cool, poised, secretly amused gaze whk h every wife km w s Is sn came here. 1 would have lie* ti able to forward the telegram. As it was, I returned so near the tine **f v ur own arrival that I knew It would be Uncle Sam Savs Apple Ore hard Hcnnt allow. Orchard renovation InvoK* til', i or noma mibatltuto thartfor. f- ttlll* Ing, pruning, Insert and di*«i»*o con trol, and *uoh other operation* a* t*i>* cIa! condition* may require. Orchard* that are unprnduettve at 1 unprofitable t>ee*u*e of neglei t n«» far too common. In auction* where up pt«s« *re produced commercially. «ii< h orchards are likely t«» he i merlon* menace beoaiiee th#y usually Imrlwir Injurious Insert* and (tlucane*. This hrvnUI* t glvc* Instruction* for renovating and i e (uv* noting m chard*. ftaadei* nf Thr « linVn.i I*** ix oh tain a cnp\ «»c tills bookie? free a long as the free «111i«»ii la“'** by ask ing for "J’. I‘ n«lili> ‘Minn their j request ft) the IMvIhIou of t’llhtlcn lion*. Department of Agriculture. Washington, D. C# j useless for me to do anything about it.” "Always there with the ready allhl," Dicky sneered, and the familiar phi,iso brought memories of times when 1 had shed hitter tears at hear 1 Ing It from his lips. But It rebounded f cm my menial armor now. leaving no more sear than a haby'a rubber ball might leave, and I smiled provok lngly at him. "It's an ever present help In time of trouble," 1 murmur<-d Dicky muttered something under his breath and stared down at the telegram, evidently worried. "When did this come?" hq queried sharply. I left at 10 and T Imagine from what Claire said that It arrived short ly afterward," I replied. •Tre((y Vifty, F.h*" "Seven hours," he calculated I "Well, theta * no other way out' I've \ got to open it. It may he something j that ought to have an answer right I away, and I can't get Boh on the wire for hours They're miles from a rail j mud, nnd while I know the address from who h a message van be sent to them. 1 couldn't get a reply before I morning. So here goes. I guess I know old Boh well enough to open a t» legram for him." lie tore open the envelope, unfold e,l its enclosure, and read the con tents, tho while l watched him with subconscious eagerness. Was It ter rible new* for our absent host In the telegram ll meded hut n second s scrutiny of Dicky's features, nlwsvs expressive, to relieve my anxiety on that score, lie was too warm-hearted. I knew. too fond of his friends, to read unmoved any tidings bail for them Ami on Ms face when he had finished loading there was Intense surprlso and genu ine pleasure, emotions evidently so strong that they banished all recol lection of the bad temper he bad lust exhibited toward me. And he tossed the telegram over to m« with the pa j tent expectation that I, too, should read it and rejoice. v, .hrd lis*k at that!*' he said Jubi lantly "uld Bob's certainly struck ti this title Ami 1 never knew exact ly whnt lie was up to 1 \ f always known he had ambitions to get on the writer’s end Instead of the editor’s hut I didn't know h< s accomplished this much." My pique prompted me to hand the j telegram back n th th" remark that 1 was not Interested in It, but my curi osity triumphed over my rancor, and I took tip the telegram and read Its br^-f contents with interest: "Bencher pronounce* your novel one tangerine," it Isgan. ' Predict* hit of year. But firm Insist* on stipulation to -which you objected in first negotiation*. Will make It tip ? "U financially, hut are obdurate. My private advice to you is to ac !-• lit their terms. It mean* your whole future, please wire me im mediately your decision, so that I may pas* it on to them. Personal congratulations, old man. (Signed! WOODWARD." "Pretty nifty, eh"" Dicky queried, when I had finished reading it. ' Rut eld Hoh deserves every hit of It. Put now. what the devil's to he done” Woodw ind, whoever he is. ought to he notified of this telegram's delay, and I haven't the slightest idea where to find him. Cant you think of something?" (Copyright. IftJj % • ,y S'-'-- \ t*« | | E ~ Chew a few Pleasant Tablets, Instant Stomach Relief! A, ;-l Mom . >.. 11-a i! tulll.es*. If von let l Heated. *tvh or uncomforta ble nftcr rating, here is Imrmb as ic lief Pape* Dia pepsin" settle* the sti'innch ami iwrects digestion the moment It leitches the stomach. Tin* guaranteed stomach corrective cost* but a few cent* at any drug •lore* Keep It handy’ Rheumatic twinges-ended! Tlie basic cause of most rheumatic pain ts congestion. Apply Sloans. It stimu lates circulation.breaks up congestion a -pain is relieved! . e. Sloans Liniment^' —kills pain/ WtijyUMiM (Lmit AfU KRTI- Ml I NT'. AIIVKRTI'K'IJ 'TN, I SAY “BAYER” when you buy Aspirin I.'nlee?* you ih(- Tifiint* “Baypi i on ]K]cka«e ur on tal»M« you are I.ot getting the genuine Haver prod uct prescribed by pbysii .ai.s over t'venty five yrars ar.d proved safe by millions for colds, headache, tooth ache, earache, neuralgia, lumbago, rheumatism, neuritis, and for pain In general. Accept only "Bayer ' pack age which contains proper direction* Handy boxes of twelve tablefs cos few cerd*. Druggist* also sell bottle* of 24 and 100. Aspirin is the trad* mark of Bayer Manufacture of Mon* aceticacidestcr of Sallcyllearid. ADVRRTIMSMKNT*. APPLYSULPIBR Just the moment you apply Mer.tho Sulphur to an itching, burning or broken out skin, the itching Mops and healing beglna, says a notedf*kin specialist. This sulphur preparation, made into a pleasant cold cream, gives such a quick relief, even to fiery ec zema. that nothing has ter been found to take its plaee. Because of its germ destroying prop erties, it quickly subdues the itch-. irp, cools the irritation and heals the j eczema right up. leaving a clear, smooth skin In place of ugly erup tlor*. rash, pimples or roughness. You do not have to wall for im- , prnvement. It quickly shows, i oil can j get a little jar of Itowie* Mentho Sulphur at any drug store. \nv i.RTI-EWENTS. APPLYSREETEA Look Young! Bring Back Its Natural Color, Gloss and Attractiveness. Common garden brewM into a heavy tea with sulphur added, will turn gray, streaked and fad«*d ha*r be .lot fjlly dark and luxuriant. a ft*\r applications will prove a revela tion if your hair is fading, streaked or gray. Mixing the Sage Tea and Sul* ph ur it home, though. Is troublesome. An easier way is to get a bottle of Wyeth s Sage and Sulphur Com pound at any drug store all ready for tise. This is the oldtime recipe improved ly the addition of other in gredients. While wispy gray. faded ha.r 1» not sinful, we all desire to retain our youthful appearance and attractive ness. By darkening your hair with Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur Com pound, no one can tell because it does it so naturally, so evenly. You just dampen a spongo or soft hrush with it and draw th.s through your hair, taking one small strand at a time, by morning ail gray hairs have disappeared, and, after another appli cation or two, your liair becomes beautiful dark, glossy, soft and lux uriant. If Grown People who are rundown in vitality and out of sorts, would Nit realize the strength-restoring power of rich, nourishing Scott’s Emulsion I they would not dream of | doing without its | health-building bene j fits. Rich in vita* i mines, Scott's has I helped thousands j achieve strength of body. | !.« * «w.ww. K J a a - * . & RJ a preventive ntc«lli tne ^ n Avoid ^ P Constipation * l I a * d at bod time »♦ illktH'p 3 ytw ut'll ,iml hew) - J yuf«K 'Wtf# t * KU l DAME NATURE CREAM Ends Chap AI>VKKIl'£.»liS>T. Mrs. IDA A. ORTON Every Woman Need* a Ionic at Some Period of Life. Read This. Omaha. Neb.—“In my yours motherh . 1 I had a alege of vines* that affected me to that none of the d.gestive organ* were functioning properly. I also had bearing pains. Dr. P.erce's Golden Medical Discov ery and Favorite Prescription are the medicines X took and they cured me of these ailments also strengthened and built up my general health so that f r years my physical condition was perfect. I raxne through the critical time cf life In good shape, with no trouble at all. and I fee! sure that It waa because Dr. Pierce a Fa vorite Prescription and Golden Med. cal Discovery had strengthened me during the earlier stage of inward weakness. I madly recommend these excellent remedies of D: Pierce's to all women who are in ill health.’-— Mrs. Ida Orton. f605H Fprsgoe street. Your druggist will sell you Dr. Pierce's medicines in tablets or liquid, or send 10c for trial pkg to Dr. Pierce's Invalids' Hotel in Buf falo, N. Y.. and w :!» for free medical advice. AIM t KThKMlAr*. Go After Rheumatism Right F ret of all* rheum*? bra mu*? he treat ed ?r,te-tia!!|r. The Me od should b# pur! fled r.- i the »t':«» h ar i k ineya n.adt to do thoir vork properly M**?-ajra tha ecre ar.d ewc ’en par ’ * at ’.ra«t t«nc*di‘’t w.'h an oil that «; bo? irritate or in ' < .e the *k; . Kthe t- *t a op^® to help the treatment You can set • very*h:na n- .naaary in the complete Ar.t: Trie outfit. If your ur.r.e « d eco’rr* i nr haa » bad odor, the offset f Anti-1 ir T«>n wt i (rue >ou an eariv mfideiu* n treatn;er*? The yar -f Ar ? • - , , , • , - • ■ f ? h e patnflil »ur?»-' » A avipply of the famou* FuUmati F * n tl :'v *h the corroct !aaat1ve. The*- th»iy* prepara.tM « contain <*n v vet eta Me U%re*tt#ti?a All are It* one **nerou# compact j The price oom’.et. *1 * and there la a money b* k ruarantie with * + rr parfcanre. Oot the Anti-T' ov.it: today from the Gher man A Mft'ontirl Pru* Ptv'rea rhvsicians ..d'i.*»> keeping the hoe cl* open a* a safe guard aga.nst tirippe or lnfltieiua. When too are constipated, not enough of Nature’s 5 lubricating liquid is pro duced in the bowel to keep the foot! waste soft and moving Doctors proscribe Nu.:ol N cause it act* 1-sc this natural lubricant and thns necorc* regular bowel moremems bt Nature’* own method—luhricatimj. '•t*l tw a IwSrteaaf—n.{ • r»t r a I .H «w or Uitltre ae | r**»e< (rV Try it today. It "hen in Need of Help Try Omaha Bee Want Ads.