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RED OLOUD, MEBRAiKA, CHIEF
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Father Got It.
"l)nd, do wo huvo to pny -wiir tnx so
the government -' huy our Thrift
stumjis buck from ua?" Mtltl Dick, who
was Just oljrlit years old.
"Yen, you huvo the right Idon nhout
It," replied the fnther.
"Well, why cun't we turn In the
stumps nuil Just call It square? If we
could do rtmt I could huy n soda. I've
f-'ot a dime." said Dick.
Dick was wnltliiK for mi answer, and
after much thinking, father reached
for his pocket, "Here's another penny."
What is Castoria
C ASTORIA i a harmless Bubstituto for Caator Oil, Paregoric,
Drops and Soothing Syrups. It ia pleasant. It contains neither
Opium, Morphino nor other Narcotic substance Ita ago ia Its guar
rmtcc. For moro than thirty years it has been in constant uao for tho relief
of Constipation, Flatulency, Wind Colic and Diarrhoea; allaying Foverish
ncsa arising therefrom, and by regulating tho Stomach and Bowels,
aids the assimilation of Food; giving healthy and natural sleep.
Tho Children's Panacea Tho Mother's Friend.
Tho Kind You Have Always Bought, and which has been in use for over
SOycars, has borno tho signature of Chus. H. Fletcher, and has been made under
his personal supervision sinco its infancy. A How no one to deceive you in this.
All Counterfeit, Imitations and "Just-as-Good" nro but Experiments that
trillo with and endanger the neaitti oi intanta ana -jr
Children Experience against Experiment y y tF-2"
Genuine Castoria always focarn tlicHliiatureof T-ficzfyry, 'CCCCUfiA
When Aloft.
"I was just reading that an Kn
llsh clergyman has become an aviator."
"A high churchman, oh?"
While In the net of acquiring a black
eye n man Is apt to see a lot of stars
that ore unknown to astronomers.
KIDNEYS WEAKENING?
BETTER LOOK OUT!
Kidney and bladder troubles don't
disappear of themselves. They grow
upon you, elowly but steadily, under
mining your health with deadly cer
tainty, until you fall a victim to in
curable disease. j
Stop your troubles wbilo tbcro Is
time. Don't wait until llttlo pains bc
como big aches. Don': trifle with dis
ease. To avoid future suffering begin
treatment with GOLD MEDAL Haar
lem Oil Capsules ow. Take three or
(our every clay until you feel that you
ire entirely fre'e from rain.
This well-known preparation has been
fine of tbe national remedies ot lioi
land for centuries. In 1090 the govern'
Riviera Motoring.
Descending at Nice from their open
car. Gencrnl Pershing and a party of
ofllcers were received by n French gov
ernment ofllclnl who, noting the white
coating of dust under which their
uniforms almost disappeared, said:
"You are very brnvc, mon general,
to undertake to motor on our Riviera
ronds In their present stnte. Poor
France I Her roads, once the best In
the world, are now the worst. With
their holes and dust they are really
Impossible. Yes, Indeed, I repent that
you nre brave."
General Pershing politicly disclaimed
that It wns a matter for bravery, but
a stuff ofllcer, shaking from his cap a
big dust cloud, remarked :
"Well, If It Is not n question of
bravery It Is at least onc-of grit."
Shades of Meaning.
Jimmy had been cnught red-hnnded.
His father grabbed him, and prepared
for action,
v Jimmy wriggled frantically.
"Pn, pa, wait a minute!" he panted.
"Didn't you tell the callers Inst night
that I couldn't be beaten for mis
chief?" "Thnt's Just what I did, you young
rascal I"
"Well, then, pn," gasped Jimmy,
"why nre you beating me now?"
Wisconsin Early In Field.
The practice of law by women was
legalized by the Wisconsin legislature
In 1877.
Ho who murders a forest Is Indirect-'
ly guilty of homicide.
25 Cents
Will buy
a Big Package of
Postum
Cereal
weighing over a
pound, net,
What are you paying
r xor coiieer
1
Rebuking Daddy.
Alice's father was mi engineer with
a decided conscience. Ills work camo
hefore pleasure, absolutely.
"Oh, daddy," pleaded the child one
day, "please p with us to the ball
game this afternoon 1"
"Simply can't, child; too much to
do," was the hurried answer.
"Oh, daddy I You'll never go any
where I You're so dutllled."
It's better to forget tin Injury thnn
'to forgive It.
A Wonder.
"Do you swear, little boy?"
"No, but say, you Just ought to hoar
my old man."
Occasionally some young man at
tempts to make the mare go by Invest
ing a lot of money In wild oats.
ment of tho Netherlands granted a spe
cial charter authorizing its sale.
Tho good housewife of Holland would
almost as soon bo without food as with
out her "Ileal Dutch Drops." as sho
quaintly calls GOLD MEDAL Haarlem
Oil Capsules. Their use restores
strength and is responsible in a great
measure for tho sturdy, robust health
of tho Hollanders.
Do not delay. Go to your druggist
and insist on his supplying you with a
box of GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil
Capsules. Take them ns directed, and
if you are not satisGcd with results your
druggist will gladly refund your money.
Look for the name GOLD MEDAL on
the box and accept no other. In scaled
boxes, thrco sizes.
PERSONS OF ROYAL DESCENT
In Natural Course, Millions Might Lay
Claim to Blood of William
the Conqueror.
There are more claims of descent
from William the Conqueror than from
uny monarch In the world, and in most
cases a descendant of this King comes
down n lino of 15 or 120 other royal
personages, nlthough sometimes the
descent from monarch to plain, un
titled yeoman seems to have been ac
complished in two or three genera
tions. There Is practically no limit to
his descendants today mid one geneal
ogist says this fact Is accounted for by
the statement that, according to the
regular proportion of incrense In each
generation since his time, the descend
ants of William the Conqueror would
now number more than twice the pres
ent populutlon of the British Isles. So,
of course, it Is very easy to see how
many of them came over to the United
States.
Nervy.
"Whnt are you writing, old man?"
"An article entitled 'Advice to Grad
uates.' "
"Eh! Advice to grad Well, of all
the presumption I" Boston Evening
Transcript.
Hard to Guess Why.
Wonder why a spinster can never
remember anything that happened n
good many years ago?
A man Is no richer thnn the money
that he saves.
SXSXSSSS9SSSSS3S3SSSSSSSS1
PREAGHESGOSPEL,
UNEARTHS STILLS
Preacher Uses Bible and Shot
gun in Business of Breaking
Up Lawlessness.
PULPIT IS ARSENAL
Hunts Down Moonshiners, Destroys
Their Stills and Pours Out Whl
ky Is Terror to Lawbreak
ers In Mountains.
Elkwood, Aln. A Illble mid a idiot
gun are the weapons (bo Hev. John
11. Gotiis, uses In his business. Sun
day morning ho preaches to his con
gregation In a little church near tho
mountains. When ho enters the pul
pit, the "raiding parson," as ho Is call
ed., places a shotgun In the corner mid
Inys a revolver beside the open Bible.
On Sunday afternoons the pastor
roams over the hills, hunting for
moonshiners, destroying their stills,
pouring out the whisky ami arresting
the mountaineers, If necessary.
The pastor Is an ordained minister
and also nn Internal revenue ofllcer
appointed by Uncle Sam to put tho
moonshiners out of business. Recent
ly ho wns so active against the moon
Nhlno industry tlint the moonshiners
sent a delegation In Ids homo. The
parson told the delegation that he wns
going to prench a sermon especially
for the lawbreakers of that district on
tho following Sunday, and ho Invited
tho moonshiners to bring their
friends and nttend the service.
Takes Qum Into Pulpit
Elkwood's tiny church was packed.
Tho "raiding parson" went to church,
carrying n revolver and a shotgun.
"Now," he said, "I am going to
preach this sermon Into you, or I nm
going to shoot It Into you. You can
take your choice." He prenched tho
sermon. But later somebody threat
ened to dynamite his house. He lg-
He Preached the Sermon.
norcd the threat. He wns shot nt from
ambush. Hut he kept right on.
One Sunday he preached his regu
lar morning sermon. In the nftemoon
he got word of a moonshlnOvStlll op
erating In his district. On tho wny ho
met a prospective bride mid groom.
He tried to dodge them, fulled, and
tnnrrled them by tho roadside.
' Then he hurried on to the still. Ho
slipped through the underbrush, cov
ered two men with hla shotgun and
marched them In as prls.-.crs.
SEEKS ONLY BACHELOR HERO
Girl Accidentally Locked In Bakery
Refused to Be Rescued by
Married Fireman.
Chicago. Miss Dorothy Lehman, ac
cidentally Imprisoned In a Chicago
hnkcry whore sho wns employed, re
fused to bo rescued by married lire
men. Tho young worker picked nn un
wedded hdro to savo lien.
Miss Lehman was the lust to leave
the plant after completing the day's
work. When sho tried to open tho
"door sho found It wns locked In fact,
nil exits wero locked. After nn hour's
Imprisonment, she succeeded In at
tracting nttentlon by tapping on the
window. Pollco were unable to re-'
lenso her, so they summoned tho fire
men. Tho plan was to hoist a ladder
to n second-story window. It devolved
upon some stalwart fireman to go up
and carry her down.
There was a rush of firemen for tho
Job, Much argument followed be
tween tho married and single mem
bers of the company. Tho choice wns
left to Miss Lehmun.
"Send up a bachelor," sho said. And
a bachelor rescued her.
Woman Walked Alleged Thief to Jail.
Canton, O, Rnffy Mucclli of Can
ton, O., attempted, to snutch a purse
from n woman sitting next to him In
a moving picture theater. The wom
an was Mrs. Lillian Mundcrbaugh, pro
bation officer. She escorted the young
id to the city Jail.
Lift off Corns!
Doesn't hurt a bit and Freezono
costs only a few cents.
Willi your fingers I You ran lift of)
any hard corn, soft corn, or corn be
tween the toes, and the hard skin cat
Ium'.s from bottom of feet.
A tiny bottle of "Freeone" costs
little at any drug store; apply a few
drops upon the corn or callus. In
stantly It stops hurting, then shortly
you lift thnt bothersome corn or callus
right off, root and all, without one hit
of pain or soreness. Truly! No hum
bug I Adv.
Cheering Note In City Hubbub.
It was a scorching hot day. Three
of the characters that grow familiar to
the frequenters of the tliottroughfuro
from Broadway to Park Uow took part
In a little bit of drama that was watch
ed from n nearby bench. The lanio old
map who sells shoestrings sat wea
rily on the stairs leading to the closed
canteen opposite the postotllco. Ills
eyes drooped with sleep, but opened
suddenly at a word from tho woman
who sits near by with a basket of pret
zel , the piece do resistance of many n
midday meal In thnt vicinity.
She held out a tall glass of orange
ade supplied, doubtless, by tho propri
etor of the flourishing stand linnl by,
where one may buy postcard souve
nirs of New York, or sweets and cool
drinks to eke out tho pretzel lunch.
He drank It gratefully while the kind
ly If draggled Hebe chatted about the
weather. It was n cheering note In the
rush of the city's crowded, careless
thoroughfare. New York Times.
Could Do It Another Way.
Have you ever noticed how a lamb,
the most timorous of animals, will be
come suddenly bravo when badly
frightened?
Well, that Is what young Dingle Is
like. Dingle Is so nervous that It al
most amounts to n disease.
Ho was at n party the other night,
and sat against a wall between two
charming girls, twiddling his thumbs
round each other In u fever of fright.
But It wns very annoying.
"Do you always do thnt at a dance?"
asked one of the girls at last, unable
'to stnnd It any longer.
"Kr no," stuttered' Dingle. "Some
times" twiddling his thumbs In the
reverse direction "I do It this wny!"
Cutlcura Soap for the Complexion.
Nothing better thnn Cutlcura Soap
dally and Ointment now and then as
needed to mnke the complexion clear,
scalp clean and hnnds soft and white.
Add to this the fascinating, fragrant
Cutlcura Talcum and you have the
Cutlcura Toilet Trio. Adv.
As Ordered.
A rookie who was detailed In the
mess hall for n week, got along fairly
well until ono day the head cook said:
"Put some water on the lire." He
went out Into tho storage room to
open n can of peas, and when he enmo
bnck, tho lire wns out.
Some people can't even bo crazy
without attracting attention.
w
The nveraco man doesn't wnste any
politeness on his wife.
Proof that Some Women
do Avoid
Mrs. Etta Dorion, of Ogdensburft Wis., saysx
"I suttercd from female troubles 'which caused piercing pains
like a knife through my back and Bide. I finally lost nil my
strength so I had to go to bed. The doctor advised an operation
but I would not listen to it. I thought of what I had read about
Lydla E. Plnkham'e Vegetable Compound and tried it. The first
bottlo brought groat relief and Biz bottles havo entirely cured me.
All women who have female trouble of any kind ehould try
Lydla E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound."
How Mrs. Boyd Avoided an Operation.
l.nUn Alli T aiifFnrnrl -f rnm ft famnla f irmiVila wMnti
. vaUkUUi UUlvi 4BUUH,U..VU..VIIV..VUL,.V .UIVM;
caused me mucn suuoring.
I-would have to go through
get well.
"My mother, who had been
nam 8 y egetaoie uompouna,
xoreBUDmitungto an operation, j.creiw)vcumoirom
my troubles bo l can uo my
difficulty, i advise any woman
female troubles to givetLyaia
table Compound a trial and
female troubles to giveLydia
for them." Mrs. Mabib
. . ,
every dick
LYDI
VEGETABLE COMPOUND
- Before Submitting lb An
5
c a package
c a package
5
c a package
THE FLAVOR LASTS
SO DOES THE PRICE!
a
The Possibilities of Peat.
The Commercial museum of Phila
delphia has been holding n large ex
hibition to Illustrate the possibilities
In tho utilization of pent. There lire
about 11,188 square miles of pent bog
In tho United States, cnpnblc of pro
ducing more than 12,000,000,000 tons of
fuel. The exhibit shows how, npnrt
from Its lise ns fuel, peat may be spun
Into ynrn, made Into paper, used for
pncklnc, etc. It Is valuable as a pre
servative, as It contnlns large amounts
of humtc acid. Ground up pent may
also be used ns n filler for fertilizer,
making posslblo the use of slaughter
house wnste for this purpose; also ns
o filler forstock feed, such as mo
lasses. Its manufactured products In
clude Insulntlons, soundproof boards,
pnvlng stones, and alcohol. Scientific
American.
Toad In a Coal Seam.
A toad lias been found burled In
Nethersenl colliery, near Burton-on-Trent,
Knglnnd. A collier wns mining
000 feet below the surface and n mile
from tho pit shnf t when his pick struck
Into a pocket of clay, ond out rolled n
toad thrco .Inches long. It Is being
kept In the manager's olllce, and Is re
covering sight and moving about.
In tho Inst 150 years Dummcrston,
Vt., has hnd only eight town clerks.
Operations
uu two uuuturb uuciuuu mat
an operation ueioro x count
helped by Lydia E.Plnk-,
auvisoa mo to iry is ue-
nouse worn wunoui any
wno is auucicu wuu
js. jrinicnanvs ve
it will do as muc
E. Pinkham's Vege-j
u ana it win ao as mucn sr ,r 1
BUS Uoyd, 1421 6th St., lff ti)
jm
woman onoui
A E. PINKH AM S
UflHACPINKHAM
ItiLo 3
before the war
during the war
NOW
Why They Failed.
Of verey hundred men called fall
ures ninety-seven have been lukewarm
In their work.
Eat Less and Take
Bitro-Phosphate
To (Won Flesh
A PHYSICIAN'S ADVICE.
Frederick ft'. Kollo. M. D., Editor of
Now York Physicians' "Who's Who,'
saya that wenk. nervous people who want
Increased weight, strenKth and norvo
forco, should tako a 6-craln tablet of
Hitro-rhosplmto Just before or during
each meal.
This particular phosphato Ib tho dis
covery of a famous French scientist, and
reports ot romarknblo results from Ita
uao havo recently appeared In man
medical Journals. '
If you do not feel well; if you tlr,
easily; do not Bleep woll. or aro too thin:;
ro to any Rood druggist and got enough)
Bltro-I'hosphato for a two wooku' bud-.
ply It cobU only fifty cents a week.
Eat less; chew your food thoroughly,!
and If at the end ot a fow weeks you
do not feel stronger and better than you
havo for months; If your nerves are not
steadier; If you do not sleep better ana
havo moro vim. endurance and vitality,
your monoy will lo returned, and th
Bltro-Fhosphato will cost you nothing. ,
W. N. U., LINCOLN, NO. 36-1919.
m
.V
i.
Operation'
MtDICINC CO. LYNN. MASS.
17
