u .l(t?jt-,l V RED OLOUD, MEBRAiKA, CHIEF ,f .8 ir J! m if f '- :' Kr 1' Father Got It. "l)nd, do wo huvo to pny -wiir tnx so the government -' huy our Thrift stumjis buck from ua?" Mtltl Dick, who was Just oljrlit years old. "Yen, you huvo the right Idon nhout It," replied the fnther. "Well, why cun't we turn In the stumps nuil Just call It square? If we could do rtmt I could huy n soda. I've f-'ot a dime." said Dick. Dick was wnltliiK for mi answer, and after much thinking, father reached for his pocket, "Here's another penny." What is Castoria C ASTORIA i a harmless Bubstituto for Caator Oil, Paregoric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It ia pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphino nor other Narcotic substance Ita ago ia Its guar rmtcc. For moro than thirty years it has been in constant uao for tho relief of Constipation, Flatulency, Wind Colic and Diarrhoea; allaying Foverish ncsa arising therefrom, and by regulating tho Stomach and Bowels, aids the assimilation of Food; giving healthy and natural sleep. Tho Children's Panacea Tho Mother's Friend. Tho Kind You Have Always Bought, and which has been in use for over SOycars, has borno tho signature of Chus. H. Fletcher, and has been made under his personal supervision sinco its infancy. A How no one to deceive you in this. All Counterfeit, Imitations and "Just-as-Good" nro but Experiments that trillo with and endanger the neaitti oi intanta ana -jr Children Experience against Experiment y y tF-2" Genuine Castoria always focarn tlicHliiatureof T-ficzfyry, 'CCCCUfiA When Aloft. "I was just reading that an Kn llsh clergyman has become an aviator." "A high churchman, oh?" While In the net of acquiring a black eye n man Is apt to see a lot of stars that ore unknown to astronomers. KIDNEYS WEAKENING? BETTER LOOK OUT! Kidney and bladder troubles don't disappear of themselves. They grow upon you, elowly but steadily, under mining your health with deadly cer tainty, until you fall a victim to in curable disease. j Stop your troubles wbilo tbcro Is time. Don't wait until llttlo pains bc como big aches. Don': trifle with dis ease. To avoid future suffering begin treatment with GOLD MEDAL Haar lem Oil Capsules ow. Take three or (our every clay until you feel that you ire entirely fre'e from rain. This well-known preparation has been fine of tbe national remedies ot lioi land for centuries. In 1090 the govern' Riviera Motoring. Descending at Nice from their open car. Gencrnl Pershing and a party of ofllcers were received by n French gov ernment ofllclnl who, noting the white coating of dust under which their uniforms almost disappeared, said: "You are very brnvc, mon general, to undertake to motor on our Riviera ronds In their present stnte. Poor France I Her roads, once the best In the world, are now the worst. With their holes and dust they are really Impossible. Yes, Indeed, I repent that you nre brave." General Pershing politicly disclaimed that It wns a matter for bravery, but a stuff ofllcer, shaking from his cap a big dust cloud, remarked : "Well, If It Is not n question of bravery It Is at least onc-of grit." Shades of Meaning. Jimmy had been cnught red-hnnded. His father grabbed him, and prepared for action, v Jimmy wriggled frantically. "Pn, pa, wait a minute!" he panted. "Didn't you tell the callers Inst night that I couldn't be beaten for mis chief?" "Thnt's Just what I did, you young rascal I" "Well, then, pn," gasped Jimmy, "why nre you beating me now?" Wisconsin Early In Field. The practice of law by women was legalized by the Wisconsin legislature In 1877. Ho who murders a forest Is Indirect-' ly guilty of homicide. 25 Cents Will buy a Big Package of Postum Cereal weighing over a pound, net, What are you paying r xor coiieer 1 Rebuking Daddy. Alice's father was mi engineer with a decided conscience. Ills work camo hefore pleasure, absolutely. "Oh, daddy," pleaded the child one day, "please p with us to the ball game this afternoon 1" "Simply can't, child; too much to do," was the hurried answer. "Oh, daddy I You'll never go any where I You're so dutllled." It's better to forget tin Injury thnn 'to forgive It. A Wonder. "Do you swear, little boy?" "No, but say, you Just ought to hoar my old man." Occasionally some young man at tempts to make the mare go by Invest ing a lot of money In wild oats. ment of tho Netherlands granted a spe cial charter authorizing its sale. Tho good housewife of Holland would almost as soon bo without food as with out her "Ileal Dutch Drops." as sho quaintly calls GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil Capsules. Their use restores strength and is responsible in a great measure for tho sturdy, robust health of tho Hollanders. Do not delay. Go to your druggist and insist on his supplying you with a box of GOLD MEDAL Haarlem Oil Capsules. Take them ns directed, and if you are not satisGcd with results your druggist will gladly refund your money. Look for the name GOLD MEDAL on the box and accept no other. In scaled boxes, thrco sizes. PERSONS OF ROYAL DESCENT In Natural Course, Millions Might Lay Claim to Blood of William the Conqueror. There are more claims of descent from William the Conqueror than from uny monarch In the world, and in most cases a descendant of this King comes down n lino of 15 or 120 other royal personages, nlthough sometimes the descent from monarch to plain, un titled yeoman seems to have been ac complished in two or three genera tions. There Is practically no limit to his descendants today mid one geneal ogist says this fact Is accounted for by the statement that, according to the regular proportion of incrense In each generation since his time, the descend ants of William the Conqueror would now number more than twice the pres ent populutlon of the British Isles. So, of course, it Is very easy to see how many of them came over to the United States. Nervy. "Whnt are you writing, old man?" "An article entitled 'Advice to Grad uates.' " "Eh! Advice to grad Well, of all the presumption I" Boston Evening Transcript. Hard to Guess Why. Wonder why a spinster can never remember anything that happened n good many years ago? A man Is no richer thnn the money that he saves. SXSXSSSS9SSSSS3S3SSSSSSSS1 PREAGHESGOSPEL, UNEARTHS STILLS Preacher Uses Bible and Shot gun in Business of Breaking Up Lawlessness. PULPIT IS ARSENAL Hunts Down Moonshiners, Destroys Their Stills and Pours Out Whl ky Is Terror to Lawbreak ers In Mountains. Elkwood, Aln. A Illble mid a idiot gun are the weapons (bo Hev. John 11. Gotiis, uses In his business. Sun day morning ho preaches to his con gregation In a little church near tho mountains. When ho enters the pul pit, the "raiding parson," as ho Is call ed., places a shotgun In the corner mid Inys a revolver beside the open Bible. On Sunday afternoons the pastor roams over the hills, hunting for moonshiners, destroying their stills, pouring out the whisky ami arresting the mountaineers, If necessary. The pastor Is an ordained minister and also nn Internal revenue ofllcer appointed by Uncle Sam to put tho moonshiners out of business. Recent ly ho wns so active against the moon Nhlno industry tlint the moonshiners sent a delegation In Ids homo. The parson told the delegation that he wns going to prench a sermon especially for the lawbreakers of that district on tho following Sunday, and ho Invited tho moonshiners to bring their friends and nttend the service. Takes Qum Into Pulpit Elkwood's tiny church was packed. Tho "raiding parson" went to church, carrying n revolver and a shotgun. "Now," he said, "I am going to preach this sermon Into you, or I nm going to shoot It Into you. You can take your choice." He prenched tho sermon. But later somebody threat ened to dynamite his house. He lg- He Preached the Sermon. norcd the threat. He wns shot nt from ambush. Hut he kept right on. One Sunday he preached his regu lar morning sermon. In the nftemoon he got word of a moonshlnOvStlll op erating In his district. On tho wny ho met a prospective bride mid groom. He tried to dodge them, fulled, and tnnrrled them by tho roadside. ' Then he hurried on to the still. Ho slipped through the underbrush, cov ered two men with hla shotgun and marched them In as prls.-.crs. SEEKS ONLY BACHELOR HERO Girl Accidentally Locked In Bakery Refused to Be Rescued by Married Fireman. Chicago. Miss Dorothy Lehman, ac cidentally Imprisoned In a Chicago hnkcry whore sho wns employed, re fused to bo rescued by married lire men. Tho young worker picked nn un wedded hdro to savo lien. Miss Lehman was the lust to leave the plant after completing the day's work. When sho tried to open tho "door sho found It wns locked In fact, nil exits wero locked. After nn hour's Imprisonment, she succeeded In at tracting nttentlon by tapping on the window. Pollco were unable to re-' lenso her, so they summoned tho fire men. Tho plan was to hoist a ladder to n second-story window. It devolved upon some stalwart fireman to go up and carry her down. There was a rush of firemen for tho Job, Much argument followed be tween tho married and single mem bers of the company. Tho choice wns left to Miss Lehmun. "Send up a bachelor," sho said. And a bachelor rescued her. Woman Walked Alleged Thief to Jail. Canton, O, Rnffy Mucclli of Can ton, O., attempted, to snutch a purse from n woman sitting next to him In a moving picture theater. The wom an was Mrs. Lillian Mundcrbaugh, pro bation officer. She escorted the young id to the city Jail. Lift off Corns! Doesn't hurt a bit and Freezono costs only a few cents. Willi your fingers I You ran lift of) any hard corn, soft corn, or corn be tween the toes, and the hard skin cat Ium'.s from bottom of feet. A tiny bottle of "Freeone" costs little at any drug store; apply a few drops upon the corn or callus. In stantly It stops hurting, then shortly you lift thnt bothersome corn or callus right off, root and all, without one hit of pain or soreness. Truly! No hum bug I Adv. Cheering Note In City Hubbub. It was a scorching hot day. Three of the characters that grow familiar to the frequenters of the tliottroughfuro from Broadway to Park Uow took part In a little bit of drama that was watch ed from n nearby bench. The lanio old map who sells shoestrings sat wea rily on the stairs leading to the closed canteen opposite the postotllco. Ills eyes drooped with sleep, but opened suddenly at a word from tho woman who sits near by with a basket of pret zel , the piece do resistance of many n midday meal In thnt vicinity. She held out a tall glass of orange ade supplied, doubtless, by tho propri etor of the flourishing stand linnl by, where one may buy postcard souve nirs of New York, or sweets and cool drinks to eke out tho pretzel lunch. He drank It gratefully while the kind ly If draggled Hebe chatted about the weather. It was n cheering note In the rush of the city's crowded, careless thoroughfare. New York Times. Could Do It Another Way. Have you ever noticed how a lamb, the most timorous of animals, will be come suddenly bravo when badly frightened? Well, that Is what young Dingle Is like. Dingle Is so nervous that It al most amounts to n disease. Ho was at n party the other night, and sat against a wall between two charming girls, twiddling his thumbs round each other In u fever of fright. But It wns very annoying. "Do you always do thnt at a dance?" asked one of the girls at last, unable 'to stnnd It any longer. "Kr no," stuttered' Dingle. "Some times" twiddling his thumbs In the reverse direction "I do It this wny!" Cutlcura Soap for the Complexion. Nothing better thnn Cutlcura Soap dally and Ointment now and then as needed to mnke the complexion clear, scalp clean and hnnds soft and white. Add to this the fascinating, fragrant Cutlcura Talcum and you have the Cutlcura Toilet Trio. Adv. As Ordered. A rookie who was detailed In the mess hall for n week, got along fairly well until ono day the head cook said: "Put some water on the lire." He went out Into tho storage room to open n can of peas, and when he enmo bnck, tho lire wns out. Some people can't even bo crazy without attracting attention. w The nveraco man doesn't wnste any politeness on his wife. Proof that Some Women do Avoid Mrs. Etta Dorion, of Ogdensburft Wis., saysx "I suttercd from female troubles 'which caused piercing pains like a knife through my back and Bide. I finally lost nil my strength so I had to go to bed. The doctor advised an operation but I would not listen to it. I thought of what I had read about Lydla E. Plnkham'e Vegetable Compound and tried it. The first bottlo brought groat relief and Biz bottles havo entirely cured me. All women who have female trouble of any kind ehould try Lydla E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound." How Mrs. Boyd Avoided an Operation. l.nUn Alli T aiifFnrnrl -f rnm ft famnla f irmiVila wMnti . vaUkUUi UUlvi 4BUUH,U..VU..VIIV..VUL,.V .UIVM; caused me mucn suuoring. I-would have to go through get well. "My mother, who had been nam 8 y egetaoie uompouna, xoreBUDmitungto an operation, j.creiw)vcumoirom my troubles bo l can uo my difficulty, i advise any woman female troubles to givetLyaia table Compound a trial and female troubles to giveLydia for them." Mrs. Mabib . . , every dick LYDI VEGETABLE COMPOUND - Before Submitting lb An 5 c a package c a package 5 c a package THE FLAVOR LASTS SO DOES THE PRICE! a The Possibilities of Peat. The Commercial museum of Phila delphia has been holding n large ex hibition to Illustrate the possibilities In tho utilization of pent. There lire about 11,188 square miles of pent bog In tho United States, cnpnblc of pro ducing more than 12,000,000,000 tons of fuel. The exhibit shows how, npnrt from Its lise ns fuel, peat may be spun Into ynrn, made Into paper, used for pncklnc, etc. It Is valuable as a pre servative, as It contnlns large amounts of humtc acid. Ground up pent may also be used ns n filler for fertilizer, making posslblo the use of slaughter house wnste for this purpose; also ns o filler forstock feed, such as mo lasses. Its manufactured products In clude Insulntlons, soundproof boards, pnvlng stones, and alcohol. Scientific American. Toad In a Coal Seam. A toad lias been found burled In Nethersenl colliery, near Burton-on-Trent, Knglnnd. A collier wns mining 000 feet below the surface and n mile from tho pit shnf t when his pick struck Into a pocket of clay, ond out rolled n toad thrco .Inches long. It Is being kept In the manager's olllce, and Is re covering sight and moving about. In tho Inst 150 years Dummcrston, Vt., has hnd only eight town clerks. Operations uu two uuuturb uuciuuu mat an operation ueioro x count helped by Lydia E.Plnk-, auvisoa mo to iry is ue- nouse worn wunoui any wno is auucicu wuu js. jrinicnanvs ve it will do as muc E. Pinkham's Vege-j u ana it win ao as mucn sr ,r 1 BUS Uoyd, 1421 6th St., lff ti) jm woman onoui A E. PINKH AM S UflHACPINKHAM ItiLo 3 before the war during the war NOW Why They Failed. Of verey hundred men called fall ures ninety-seven have been lukewarm In their work. Eat Less and Take Bitro-Phosphate To (Won Flesh A PHYSICIAN'S ADVICE. Frederick ft'. Kollo. M. D., Editor of Now York Physicians' "Who's Who,' saya that wenk. nervous people who want Increased weight, strenKth and norvo forco, should tako a 6-craln tablet of Hitro-rhosplmto Just before or during each meal. This particular phosphato Ib tho dis covery of a famous French scientist, and reports ot romarknblo results from Ita uao havo recently appeared In man medical Journals. ' If you do not feel well; if you tlr, easily; do not Bleep woll. or aro too thin:; ro to any Rood druggist and got enough) Bltro-I'hosphato for a two wooku' bud-. ply It cobU only fifty cents a week. Eat less; chew your food thoroughly,! and If at the end ot a fow weeks you do not feel stronger and better than you havo for months; If your nerves are not steadier; If you do not sleep better ana havo moro vim. endurance and vitality, your monoy will lo returned, and th Bltro-Fhosphato will cost you nothing. , W. N. U., LINCOLN, NO. 36-1919. m .V i. Operation' MtDICINC CO. LYNN. MASS. 17