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About The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 4, 1907)
One way Is to pay no attention
to it: at least not unui uuc-
velops Into pneumonia, or
bronchitis, or pleurisy. An
other way is to ask your doc
tor about Aycr's Cherry sec
toral. If he says, " The best
thine for colds," then take it.
Do as he says, anyway.
We publish our formula!
Wo banlah alenhol
from our modlclnoa
Wo uro you to
When the bowels arc constipated, poi
sonous substances are absorbed into the
blood Instead of beinpdaily removed from
the body as nature intended. Knowing
this dancer, doctors always inquire about
the condition of the bowels. Ayer's Pills.
Mad by tho J. C. Ayor Co., Lowell, Main
Whon Marriage Is the Topic.
The wedded Htato Is a favorite sub
vert with tho epigram tankers. From
8 very old ballad we take this:
' Tliero wan a criminal In a cart
A-Koln' to lie li:irwil;
Rcfplto to lilm was granted,
And cart and crowd did stand
! To Know-If In would marry a wife
! Or rather choose to die.
T'otlipr'a the worst ill Ive on the cart!"
. Tho criminal did reply.
More modern l.s this verso:
I would advise a man to pauao
, llnforo lie takis a wife
In fact, I nee no earthly cause
Up should not pause for life.
Who, by the way, Is the author who
describes it seeoml marriage as being
"the triumph of hope over experience?"
Samuel Lover's matrimonial epigram
Is very apposite:
ThouRh matrlips are all made In licavpn.
Yt Hymen, who mischief oft hatches.
Sometimes deals with the house t'other
sldo of the way.
I And there they make I.uclfer matches.
I Chambers' Journal.
The Lord and the Burglar.
' Lord Iverdalo bad just finished his
after dinner speech ami the guests had
applauded when the butler rushed for
eword and announced to his lordship
that thero was a burglur In the house.
"A burglar! Confound his impu
dence! Wher,e Is he?"
"Wo don't exactly know, your lord
hlp. One of the in a tils, bearing n
inolso in the library, looked In nnd
,nw n mnn at the safe. If your lord
ship will allow me, I'll put Jnrvls In
my plnce here uud tako charge of the
"Very good, Ilasklns. Go by all
incaiiH. Wait a moment here Is the
'Vey of my desk. Take the revolver
,you will And In the right hand top
'drawer; you may need It. As soon an
(1 enn get nwny without alarming the
qtulles I'll Join you." Munsoy's.
Theodore I'nrker gave Hie following
grnphlc description of Daniel Webster,
In the famous three hour sermon
preached soon after Webster's death:
He was n man of large mold, a
great body and n great brain, lie
fscemed made to Inst u hundred years.
Since Socrates there has seldom been
a head ho massively largo save the
stormy features of Michael Angelo.
Since Charlemagne I think there has
not been such a grand figure In all
Christendom. A large man, decorous
In dress, dignified In deportment, he
walked ns If he felt hlim-olf a king
The coal heavers and porters of London
looked nit him as one of the great
forces of the globe. They recognized
a native king. In the senate of the
I'nlted States he looked an emperor In
that council. I'vcn the majestic Cal
houn seemed common compared Willi
him. Clay looked vulgar and Van
P.tiron but a fox. What a mouth he
had! It was a lion's mouth, yet there
was a sweet grandeur In the smile and
a woman's softness when be would.
What a brow It was! What eyes like
charcoal fires In the bottom of a deep,
dark well! Ills fare was rugged with
volcanic firei great passions and great
thoughts, "The front of Jove himself;
an eye like Mars, to threaten and com
mand." Came Near It.
Wit and humor are such elemental,
fundamental things that It has al
ways been found dlllleiilt to analyze
them. Cpon some points, however,
those who have essayed this puzzling
task agree, for they all hold that wit
Is an Intellectual, humor an emotional,
finality; that wit Is a perception of re
semblance and humor a perception of
contrast, of discrepancy, of Incoiigru
Ity. The Incongruity Is that which
arises between the Ideal and the fact,
between theory and practice, between
promise and performance, ami perhaps
It might be added that It Is nl way or
almost always a moral Incongruity. In
the case both of wit and humor there
Is also a pleasurable surprise, a gentle
shock which accompanies our percep
tion of tho hitherto unsuspected re
semblance or Incongruity. A New
Kuglaud farmer was once describing
in the presence of a very humane per
son the great age and debility of a
horse that he formerly owned and
used. "You ought to hnve killed him,"
Interrupted the humane person lndlg
nantly. "Well," drawled the farmer,
"wo did almost." Atlantic.
Compliments A&r Death.
There Is a Herman proverb which
nays, "Matt darf ntir sterbeu tun gelobt
7.n worden" (We need only die in order
to get prnlsed). This, we cannot help
but admit, Is fairly true In a general
sense, and If we required nny proof or
continuation the epitaphs In ceme
teries, churchyards and churches
would readily furnish It. Indeed If wo
had no other testimony to go by thnu
these pious Inscriptions we might al
most fancy that men and women hnd
arrived at such a state of perfection
that they were little less than angels.
Death, lljie time, Is a great healer of
wounds, a great soother of passions, n
great calmer of turbulent thoughts, a
slayer of enmity. He Is the peace
maker pur excellence, having caused
the saying to gain general currency
that we should say nothing of the dead
but what Is good. Among the laws of
the "Twelve Tables," compiled by the
Decemviri, there was one which, In
fact, forbade to spenk Injuriously of
the dead. It Is in exchange for this
doubtless that we are always doubly
anxious and ready to vUlfy the living.
A Spurgeon Ruse
Spurgeon, the famous Kngllsh di
vine, once passed a stonemason who,
after each stroke of his hammer, curs
ed and swore. Mr. Spurgeon laid his
hand on bis shoulder and, looking kind
ly at him, said: "Von are an adept at
swearing. Can you also pray?"
With another oatli he replied, "Not
Holding up ." shilling Mi'. Spurgeon
said If he would promise never to pray
lie would give him that.
"That Is easily earned," said tho
man, with a froh oath, and put It in
his pocket. When Spurgeon left the
man began to feel a little queer. When
lie went home bis wile asked him what
ailed him, and he told her. "It Is Ju
das' money," said the man, and on a
sudden Impulse he threw It Into tho
fire. The wife found It and took It
out and discovered who had given it
to him. The man took It back to Spur
geon, who conversed long with him,
warning him, and at length was tho
means of saving him. He became an
attached member of bis Hock.
jg All the newest. More of them than jj
'." &t&" I .laH rr" chrviAr them ErAvirl-Uinr (l
WVI. IIAVU LV OUUYY llllll. JJ V CIJ' LI llllg
BARKER IS SANE, SAYS JURY.
Webtter County Murderer Again
Draws Near the Gallows.
Lincoln, Sept. 30. A Jury In tho
JlHtrict court brought lu a verdict
finding Frank Barker, convicted of
murder, to bo sane. This Is equivalent
to a death sentence, and Barkor will
be hangod In the state penitentiary.
Barker more than a yea'r ago killed
Mb brother and his brother's wife on
a farm In Webster county, burying tho
bodies lu a cow shed. The supposed
motlvo for the crime was robbery.
He was convicted In Webster county
of doublo murder, sentenced to bo
banged last June and on appeal the
supreme court sustained the sentence.
His attorneys, as a last resort, made
the allegation of Insanity, certifying
the same to the warden of the peni
tentiary, who, under a Nebraska stat
ute, is compelled to summon a Jury to
pass on tho question of sanity. This
Jury for a week has been hearing testi
mony. Tho case was given to the Jury
A Strenuous Statesman.
In hl.s "Eclipse and O' Kelly" Theo
dore Andrea Cook tells a story of the
English statesman and sport Fox. He
had wagered something about a waist
coat which could only be obtained lu
Tnrls; went off to Dover by night,
caught the mall packet, posted to Par
is and back to Calais, and remembered
he hnd a horse racing at Newmarket,
no chartered a fishing boat bound for
the eastern counties, Just got to New
market lu time for the race, took tho
post back to London and stopped on
the way to dine. In the middle of tho
port and dice after dinner he was
caught by a special messenger who bad
been tearing over half of England In
search of him and reminded that he
had to move to bring In a marriage bill
In the house of commons. He rushed
to the stables, reached the house In
time to make n brilliant speech lu re
ply to North nnd Ilurka and defeated
North on n division by a single vote.
The 5ee reex.
Naturalists say that the feet of the
common working bee exhibit the curi
ous combination of a basket, a brush
and a pair of pinchers. The brush, the
hairs of which are arranged In sym
metrical rows, Is seen ouly with a high
grade microscope. With this brush of
fairy delicacy the beo brushes Its vel
vet robe to remove the pollen dust with
which It becomes loaded while suck
ing up the nectar of flowers. Another
delicate apparatus Is the spoon shaped
appendnge that receives the gleanings
that the bee wishes to carry to the
hive. Finally, by opening the brush
and the basket by means of a neat lit
tlo hinge, the two become n pair of
pinchers, which render Important serv
ice In constructing the cells for the
reception of the honey.
'TwaB In Tater Time.
The late Senator Piatt of Connecticut
enjoyed funny stories and could tell a
good ninny himself. Notwithstanding
his long public life, he always remem
bered a yarn that he carried from his
One year when the district schools
opened In Ills town one of the teachers
lu making a record of the ages of her
pupils, as required by law, found that
one little girl, who came from a fami
ly not noted for being especially
bright, was unable to say when her
So In order to complete her records
the teacher walked two miles to see
the girl's mother one afternoon after
school. Asked If she could remember
Just when her daughter wub born, the
woman thought for some little time
nnd then, with a sort of puzzled look,
"Well, the gal was born lu tater
time, that's sure, but I can't 'member
wJiether they was a-plantln' on 'em or
a-dlgglu' on 'cm." Boston Herald.
that goes with
:iem to make you we
Paul Storey. cSkr
(Successors to Johu Griffeth)
Staple and Fancy
'A full assortment of Seasonable
Goods kept in Stock.
Hit Them Both.
Jones That was a scathlug sermon
ion mean men the parson gave us last
iBunday. Wonder what Smith thought
about It? Brown Singular! t met
Bmlth yesterday, nnd be said he'd like
to know your opinion on It. London
"Are you studying Esperanto, Mr.
Idiot?" asked the linguist.
"I nin not," said the Idiot. "I can
talk too much In English If I want to."
"It la a very tine language," suld tho
linguist "coudensed, concise and easi
"No doubt," said the Idiot. "But I
don't caro for potted tongue." Broad
Made" from cream of tartar derived
solely from grapes, the most deli
cious and healthful of all fruit acidg.
A man who was a guest at one of
the summer resorts In West Virginia
tells of n wedding ceremony he wit
nessed In the town near by.
The minister was young nnd easily
embarrassed. It was the first wedding
ho had ever undertaken. The prospec
tive bride and groom were both youn
ger and still more easily embarrassed
When the minister had finished the
Hervlce nnd muttered a few kindly but
halting words to the young couple he
had Just uulted the bride looked at
him, blushing, but confident.
"Thank yer," she said clearly. "It's
shore kind o' yer to congratulate U9,
an' ns long as you haven't ever been
married ylt mnybc we'll have a chance
some day to retaliate." Harper's
Some absurd clauses have found
their way Into ccrtnln acts of the Brit
ish parliament. One statute enacted
punishment of fourteen yenre' trans
portation for n certain offense, "and
upon conviction one half thereof should
go to tne Kiug nnu me otner unit to
the lnformor." Then there Is an act
of parliament for the rebuilding of
Chelmsford prison which stipulated In
one clause that the prisoners should
bo conliued In the old prison until tho
new one wan built and In another an
amending clause that tho new prison
should Ixj constructed out of the ma
terial of the old one.
Call and See Us.
We will try to
RED CLOUD, - NEBR.
Canon City, Sunnyside,
and Genuine Nigger
You may be particular or what
some call "cranky," but OUR
COAL will ploaso you.
Our coal is clean and we deliver
Bell Tel. CO. Rural Tel. 71
425 Webster Street.
Bell phono 102. Ind. phone 11
He Didn't Put It Off.
"Gracious!" exclaimed Mr. Staylate.
"It's nearly midnight. I should be go
ing pretty soon, I suppose."
"Yes," replied Miss Tntlenco Gonne,
"you know the old saying, 'Never put
off till tomorrow what you can do to
day.' " Philadelphia Tress.
Back to the farm !
That's where you
get good coffee.
None of that " fresh roasted loose
by the pound" store stuff from
nobody knows where, full of dust,
atmosphere and soiled hands, but
the real old, genuine egg and sugar
coated Arbuckles ARIOSA
Coffee, which the folks keep in
the original package and grind in
Cocnplte with ill requirement! ti the Nalioiul Purs
Food Uw, Cuutntcc No. 204 1 , filed at Wwhingtoo.
We cannot afford to do
less than satisfy in
quality, style, price and
give to you our person
al service and careful
Night or Day
Rural and Bell phones
at store and residen:e.
"You let him hug you In tho
sorvatory. snmies 0f the Foot-Ease SaitaryCurn
i did not. I mado him remove hla .. ,l . .,. a.i.i.. ah.
Ask for Allens's Foot-Ease.
u powder for swollen, tired, hot.smart-
ting feet. Sample sent free.
arm every tlmo the music In the ball
room, stopped." Loulsvlllo Courier
Pad, a new Invention. Address Allen
S. Olmstead, Le Roy. N. Y.
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