The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923, October 04, 1907, Image 4
II . When You Take Cold One way Is to pay no attention to it: at least not unui uuc- velops Into pneumonia, or bronchitis, or pleurisy. An other way is to ask your doc tor about Aycr's Cherry sec toral. If he says, " The best thine for colds," then take it. Do as he says, anyway. We publish our formula! t yers Wo banlah alenhol from our modlclnoa Wo uro you to conaultyour ilootor When the bowels arc constipated, poi sonous substances are absorbed into the blood Instead of beinpdaily removed from the body as nature intended. Knowing this dancer, doctors always inquire about the condition of the bowels. Ayer's Pills. Mad by tho J. C. Ayor Co., Lowell, Main Whon Marriage Is the Topic. The wedded Htato Is a favorite sub vert with tho epigram tankers. From 8 very old ballad we take this: ' Tliero wan a criminal In a cart A-Koln' to lie li:irwil; Rcfplto to lilm was granted, And cart and crowd did stand ! To Know-If In would marry a wife ! Or rather choose to die. T'otlipr'a the worst ill Ive on the cart!" . Tho criminal did reply. More modern l.s this verso: I would advise a man to pauao , llnforo lie takis a wife In fact, I nee no earthly cause Up should not pause for life. Who, by the way, Is the author who describes it seeoml marriage as being "the triumph of hope over experience?" Samuel Lover's matrimonial epigram Is very apposite: ThouRh matrlips are all made In licavpn. thpy Bay, Yt Hymen, who mischief oft hatches. Sometimes deals with the house t'other sldo of the way. I And there they make I.uclfer matches. I Chambers' Journal. The Lord and the Burglar. ' Lord Iverdalo bad just finished his after dinner speech ami the guests had applauded when the butler rushed for eword and announced to his lordship that thero was a burglur In the house. "A burglar! Confound his impu dence! Wher,e Is he?" "Wo don't exactly know, your lord hlp. One of the in a tils, bearing n inolso in the library, looked In nnd ,nw n mnn at the safe. If your lord ship will allow me, I'll put Jnrvls In my plnce here uud tako charge of the wiircu." "Very good, Ilasklns. Go by all incaiiH. Wait a moment here Is the 'Vey of my desk. Take the revolver ,you will And In the right hand top 'drawer; you may need It. As soon an (1 enn get nwny without alarming the qtulles I'll Join you." Munsoy's. Majestic Webster. Theodore I'nrker gave Hie following grnphlc description of Daniel Webster, In the famous three hour sermon preached soon after Webster's death: He was n man of large mold, a great body and n great brain, lie fscemed made to Inst u hundred years. Since Socrates there has seldom been a head ho massively largo save the stormy features of Michael Angelo. Since Charlemagne I think there has not been such a grand figure In all Christendom. A large man, decorous In dress, dignified In deportment, he walked ns If he felt hlim-olf a king The coal heavers and porters of London looked nit him as one of the great forces of the globe. They recognized a native king. In the senate of the I'nlted States he looked an emperor In that council. I'vcn the majestic Cal houn seemed common compared Willi him. Clay looked vulgar and Van P.tiron but a fox. What a mouth he had! It was a lion's mouth, yet there was a sweet grandeur In the smile and a woman's softness when be would. What a brow It was! What eyes like charcoal fires In the bottom of a deep, dark well! Ills fare was rugged with volcanic firei great passions and great thoughts, "The front of Jove himself; an eye like Mars, to threaten and com mand." Came Near It. Wit and humor are such elemental, fundamental things that It has al ways been found dlllleiilt to analyze them. Cpon some points, however, those who have essayed this puzzling task agree, for they all hold that wit Is an Intellectual, humor an emotional, finality; that wit Is a perception of re semblance and humor a perception of contrast, of discrepancy, of Incoiigru Ity. The Incongruity Is that which arises between the Ideal and the fact, between theory and practice, between promise and performance, ami perhaps It might be added that It Is nl way or almost always a moral Incongruity. In the case both of wit and humor there Is also a pleasurable surprise, a gentle shock which accompanies our percep tion of tho hitherto unsuspected re semblance or Incongruity. A New Kuglaud farmer was once describing in the presence of a very humane per son the great age and debility of a horse that he formerly owned and used. "You ought to hnve killed him," Interrupted the humane person lndlg nantly. "Well," drawled the farmer, "wo did almost." Atlantic. Compliments A&r Death. There Is a Herman proverb which nays, "Matt darf ntir sterbeu tun gelobt 7.n worden" (We need only die in order to get prnlsed). This, we cannot help but admit, Is fairly true In a general sense, and If we required nny proof or continuation the epitaphs In ceme teries, churchyards and churches would readily furnish It. Indeed If wo had no other testimony to go by thnu these pious Inscriptions we might al most fancy that men and women hnd arrived at such a state of perfection that they were little less than angels. Death, lljie time, Is a great healer of wounds, a great soother of passions, n great calmer of turbulent thoughts, a slayer of enmity. He Is the peace maker pur excellence, having caused the saying to gain general currency that we should say nothing of the dead but what Is good. Among the laws of the "Twelve Tables," compiled by the Decemviri, there was one which, In fact, forbade to spenk Injuriously of the dead. It Is in exchange for this doubtless that we are always doubly anxious and ready to vUlfy the living. Westminster Utrctte. SUITS Plaids BROWNS: Stnpes Checks A Spurgeon Ruse Spurgeon, the famous Kngllsh di vine, once passed a stonemason who, after each stroke of his hammer, curs ed and swore. Mr. Spurgeon laid his hand on bis shoulder and, looking kind ly at him, said: "Von are an adept at swearing. Can you also pray?" With another oatli he replied, "Not very likely." Holding up ." shilling Mi'. Spurgeon said If he would promise never to pray lie would give him that. "That Is easily earned," said tho man, with a froh oath, and put It in his pocket. When Spurgeon left the man began to feel a little queer. When lie went home bis wile asked him what ailed him, and he told her. "It Is Ju das' money," said the man, and on a sudden Impulse he threw It Into tho fire. The wife found It and took It out and discovered who had given it to him. The man took It back to Spur geon, who conversed long with him, warning him, and at length was tho means of saving him. He became an attached member of bis Hock. 9S (! m m jg All the newest. More of them than jj '." &t&" I .laH rr" chrviAr them ErAvirl-Uinr (l WVI. IIAVU LV OUUYY llllll. JJ V CIJ' LI llllg GRAYS: Block Plaids Shadow Plaids Plain BLACKS Worsteds Thibets Cheviots m w ( m - w m w (t BARKER IS SANE, SAYS JURY. Webtter County Murderer Again Draws Near the Gallows. Lincoln, Sept. 30. A Jury In tho JlHtrict court brought lu a verdict finding Frank Barker, convicted of murder, to bo sane. This Is equivalent to a death sentence, and Barkor will be hangod In the state penitentiary. Barker more than a yea'r ago killed Mb brother and his brother's wife on a farm In Webster county, burying tho bodies lu a cow shed. The supposed motlvo for the crime was robbery. He was convicted In Webster county of doublo murder, sentenced to bo banged last June and on appeal the supreme court sustained the sentence. His attorneys, as a last resort, made the allegation of Insanity, certifying the same to the warden of the peni tentiary, who, under a Nebraska stat ute, is compelled to summon a Jury to pass on tho question of sanity. This Jury for a week has been hearing testi mony. Tho case was given to the Jury Saturday afternoon. A Strenuous Statesman. In hl.s "Eclipse and O' Kelly" Theo dore Andrea Cook tells a story of the English statesman and sport Fox. He had wagered something about a waist coat which could only be obtained lu Tnrls; went off to Dover by night, caught the mall packet, posted to Par is and back to Calais, and remembered he hnd a horse racing at Newmarket, no chartered a fishing boat bound for the eastern counties, Just got to New market lu time for the race, took tho post back to London and stopped on the way to dine. In the middle of tho port and dice after dinner he was caught by a special messenger who bad been tearing over half of England In search of him and reminded that he had to move to bring In a marriage bill In the house of commons. He rushed to the stables, reached the house In time to make n brilliant speech lu re ply to North nnd Ilurka and defeated North on n division by a single vote. The 5ee reex. Naturalists say that the feet of the common working bee exhibit the curi ous combination of a basket, a brush and a pair of pinchers. The brush, the hairs of which are arranged In sym metrical rows, Is seen ouly with a high grade microscope. With this brush of fairy delicacy the beo brushes Its vel vet robe to remove the pollen dust with which It becomes loaded while suck ing up the nectar of flowers. Another delicate apparatus Is the spoon shaped appendnge that receives the gleanings that the bee wishes to carry to the hive. Finally, by opening the brush and the basket by means of a neat lit tlo hinge, the two become n pair of pinchers, which render Important serv ice In constructing the cells for the reception of the honey. 'TwaB In Tater Time. The late Senator Piatt of Connecticut enjoyed funny stories and could tell a good ninny himself. Notwithstanding his long public life, he always remem bered a yarn that he carried from his school days. One year when the district schools opened In Ills town one of the teachers lu making a record of the ages of her pupils, as required by law, found that one little girl, who came from a fami ly not noted for being especially bright, was unable to say when her birthday came. So In order to complete her records the teacher walked two miles to see the girl's mother one afternoon after school. Asked If she could remember Just when her daughter wub born, the woman thought for some little time nnd then, with a sort of puzzled look, said: "Well, the gal was born lu tater time, that's sure, but I can't 'member wJiether they was a-plantln' on 'em or a-dlgglu' on 'cm." Boston Herald. W that goes with dressed. ti :iem to make you we ii Paul Storey. cSkr I gCSgfrXC'&frgg'g:'g''r'-''fr' (0 m Hr rulton Grocer Co. (Successors to Johu Griffeth) DEALERS IN Staple and Fancy Groceries 'A full assortment of Seasonable Goods kept in Stock. Hit Them Both. Jones That was a scathlug sermon ion mean men the parson gave us last iBunday. Wonder what Smith thought about It? Brown Singular! t met Bmlth yesterday, nnd be said he'd like to know your opinion on It. London (Telegraph. Tinned Tongue. "Are you studying Esperanto, Mr. Idiot?" asked the linguist. "I nin not," said the Idiot. "I can talk too much In English If I want to." "It la a very tine language," suld tho linguist "coudensed, concise and easi ly acquired." "No doubt," said the Idiot. "But I don't caro for potted tongue." Broad way Magazine. Dr PRICES HamBaking Powder Made" from cream of tartar derived solely from grapes, the most deli cious and healthful of all fruit acidg. Retaliation. A man who was a guest at one of the summer resorts In West Virginia tells of n wedding ceremony he wit nessed In the town near by. The minister was young nnd easily embarrassed. It was the first wedding ho had ever undertaken. The prospec tive bride and groom were both youn ger and still more easily embarrassed than he. When the minister had finished the Hervlce nnd muttered a few kindly but halting words to the young couple he had Just uulted the bride looked at him, blushing, but confident. "Thank yer," she said clearly. "It's shore kind o' yer to congratulate U9, an' ns long as you haven't ever been married ylt mnybc we'll have a chance some day to retaliate." Harper's Weekly. Legal Absurdities. Some absurd clauses have found their way Into ccrtnln acts of the Brit ish parliament. One statute enacted punishment of fourteen yenre' trans portation for n certain offense, "and upon conviction one half thereof should go to tne Kiug nnu me otner unit to the lnformor." Then there Is an act of parliament for the rebuilding of Chelmsford prison which stipulated In one clause that the prisoners should bo conliued In the old prison until tho new one wan built and In another an amending clause that tho new prison should Ixj constructed out of the ma terial of the old one. Call and See Us. Please We will try to You. Saunders Brothers RED CLOUD, - NEBR. Canon City, Sunnyside, and Genuine Nigger Head Maitland COAL You may be particular or what some call "cranky," but OUR COAL will ploaso you. Our coal is clean and we deliver promptly. Bell Tel. CO. Rural Tel. 71 425 Webster Street. Bell phono 102. Ind. phone 11 He Didn't Put It Off. "Gracious!" exclaimed Mr. Staylate. "It's nearly midnight. I should be go ing pretty soon, I suppose." "Yes," replied Miss Tntlenco Gonne, "you know the old saying, 'Never put off till tomorrow what you can do to day.' " Philadelphia Tress. tJLJS con- Back to the farm ! That's where you get good coffee. None of that " fresh roasted loose by the pound" store stuff from nobody knows where, full of dust, atmosphere and soiled hands, but the real old, genuine egg and sugar coated Arbuckles ARIOSA Coffee, which the folks keep in the original package and grind in the kitchen. That's Coffee! Cocnplte with ill requirement! ti the Nalioiul Purs Food Uw, Cuutntcc No. 204 1 , filed at Wwhingtoo. Albright Bros. Undertakers We cannot afford to do less than satisfy in quality, style, price and give to you our person al service and careful attention. Calls Answered Night or Day Rural and Bell phones at store and residen:e. Stationary Waltzing. "You let him hug you In tho sorvatory. snmies 0f the Foot-Ease SaitaryCurn i did not. I mado him remove hla .. ,l . .,. a.i.i.. ah. Ask for Allens's Foot-Ease. u powder for swollen, tired, hot.smart- ting feet. Sample sent free. Also free arm every tlmo the music In the ball room, stopped." Loulsvlllo Courier Pad, a new Invention. Address Allen S. Olmstead, Le Roy. N. Y. Mercer's Barber Shop Basement ot Potter Block. Massaging a Specialty V