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About The Red Cloud chief. (Red Cloud, Webster Co., Neb.) 1873-1923 | View Entire Issue (April 12, 1901)
n I R ! it m m i i ;f 1 i FlELD-LORE. In furrow dark beneath tlio plow, With thoughtful mini nml happy fiicc, Slow o'er tin rolling rniri'n now TIio fanner walk with inenMircd pace. No flotinil in near. The vat clear ky Holds naught but oft nml nolrmti light; Hi heart i warm, hi purpose high, He love the day, nor dreads the night. Something there I the prairie hold For nil the lonely Alienee there That make the npirit strong nml hold To conquer hntc and otiflc care; The deriving field nwnken hope. , The ilUtaut skv line lengthen life, ' Ami tolling on the windy lope ' The mind forget it nngry strife. Tim culm thnt hrood hv wood and ttre.im A benediction ii to him Who would thing were not a they ecm Where trade and tumult grow mure grim; The open hill, the sweeping view, Make clfiluieH sceni duiker till, For thenc fair prairie life rennw And give their nil to him who will. Charles V. Stcvcnon, in the Chicago Record. iHHHyH 3:u-i.!-j v i: b ijupKiiis i uuiigsujr : By Cvorard Jack Apptoton, m SHE was n very pretty child, with tin- customary bright yol lw linlr which would turn to brown In n few yi'nrH-nnil blue eyes that were even on their wny to becoming gray, but though sho mi iloubteilly resembled JIoikhiH In iiiiiuy ways, she wiih tint n child. Her moth r nml fnthcr Imil both died one winter In the Snulh, more tliaii n year ago, nml IIopkhiH. being tlio clilld'H undo on Hm mother's Hide. had taken It for IiIh own because there seemed to bo no one cine to take It. AH Hopkins's poo jib' were dead, nlso, or abroad for In definite periods, nml remembering, with u shudder, the crudity of the clilld'H father'n relations, Hopkins knew that his sister would never rest In her grave If ho allowed them to bring It up. So lie did n queer thing, as ho was more than apt to do. and took the little girl to bring up himself. Not that he attempted the tiling sin glo-hundod that would have been too wild an undertaking even for Hop kins; ho simply brought her homo, mid bis faithful old housekeeper and her daughter tool; the Utile one In hand, while he treated her as If she woro his daughter, anil consequently was not bored by her presence n great ilrnl. She was three years old when she came to lilm, ami Inside of six months she was calling him 'Tupa" quite as If she had never had another such rela tive, and Hopkins, having it lurking fondness for children, rather encour aged her to do so, though protending to himself that It annoyed hlin. Very few of his club friends knew of Ills eccentricity In this case, but those who did, mid who saw lilm driving with her every pleasant afternoon lu the park, smiled ami murmured: "There Is Hopkins with bis youngs lor. Queer chap, he." ami passed on. Now, added to his love for children, Hopkins loved borne life, and being a young man who had seen comparative ly little or that life, he naturally Ideal ized what little he knew of It. When the youngster came to bis house and mnde n broad beam of sunlight wher ever she went, that Idealization grew even larger, ami bo wished in truth she were his daughter, ami that Kath erlne . Hut hero Hopkins smiled nml stopped thinking. Ho was In love, of course. There bad never lived a Hopkins In nil the generation of Hopklnses that had not noon in tli.it condition during the greater part of his life, but Hopkins was quite sure that though his ances tors had been ardent lovers all, none of them could have cared for their chosen ones as ln cared for Katherluo a fact which ho Imparted to them one night as ho sat In the library and mused on the subject after the young ster was safely put to bed. And the only nnswur those respected ancestors Wilde was to let n quiet smile spread over each and every one of their paint-mid-canvas faces, and broaden In the liiollglit's pleasing glow. Hut though their descendant was not ordinarily a coward, and quite as self possessed as most young nien of his M't, when It came to saying those same fervent words to Katherluo herself, he found It just n little more than ho could muster courage to do. The aw fill possibility of failure stared lilm so constantly in the face that If ho did Hot tremble lu his physical knees when he thought o. It, lie undoubtedly did so In his astral counterparts. Yet when over he wont around the square to see her. ns he did very legularly now, ho Invariably started down the slops with the firm determination to ask hor and have It over with, and ho Invariably t-aino back with that strong resolve done up In splints, as it wore, ami n feeling of self-contempt, mingled with self-pity, embedded lu his mind. Hut one night It was one of the nights when ho did not go to see Kath erlne. nud -which had been spent with the youngster In an extremely noisy and romping, lint entirely happy, man nor a great Idea came to him, and the Iden bearing upon the subject always uppermost In his mind nowadays, im began the next day to develop, and nurse, nml enlarge It, and get ready to make It of use to him. The next day but one. that Idea hav ing been made the most of, ho came homo early In the afternoon, iinil In structing Mrs. Hlgglm-. the house keeper, to put on the you.igstor's best bit) and tucker, be ran up ialrs to his room, where he found his own clothes properly laid out by his f. ihful num. lu the course of nn hour ho onppeared and at the foot of the stall found the youngster waiting for lilm. 'unking ex coptlounlly pretty In a iMnty little gown he had not seen befo. . "We will be back lu an uour or so. I vmrJW..-i..w' ""Iff IK WW -WBRlll'nili m tiimnii Mrs. Hlgglns," said he, ns they went out the door. They found Miss Knlharlne alone, and as she cmuo Into the room ami Hopkins rose to greet her, she ran quickly by lilm with a little nod, and falling upon her knees lu u very girlish but pretty fashion before the smiling youngster, she cried: "Oh! this lovely child! And she Is renlly yours, Sir. Hopkins?" Hopkins smiled. "All mine," said he, "by virtue of adoption." Then Miss Kntherlne took the young ster upon her lap-tho prettiest picture he had seen for mouths was that and they fell to talking of other things, while the child, Willi her big blue eyes upon Miss Kntherlne's face, listened thoughtfully to It all, mid wondered why licr "papa" looked so happy. And Hopkins's Idea of a home life with Kntherlne at lis head, mennwhlle, grew strong and waxed exceeding great. Ten minutes pnsiod, mid then, nit Miss Kntherlne was asking the little girl about herself, the youngster sud denly straightened up, ami looking nt her thoughtfully, said: "Yes, I lores my papn mid my dolls and ovcryllng, but I loves you too. Won't you be my liiuvvor?" For a moment Miss Knthcrlno's pretty face turned from rose to white and back again, but before she could make answer to the youngster's re mark Hopkins had swallowed his fear and the crisis was passed. "You hear what the youngster says, Katherluo," said ho, taking one of her soft hands lu his and leaning forwnrd. "I love you, too, dearest, mid I want you for my wife. Do you think you could lovo mo and be n 'niuvvor' to this little one?" What her answer was Is no matter now, but some time later, ns Hopkins mid his youngster were walking grave ly, though how happily only she nnd Kntherlne knew, homo again, the child looked to lilm for a moment, and then whispered up to lilm: "And I said It right, didn't I, papa? Jos' like yon told uie to?" Waverley .Magazine. HOW BIROS HELP FARMERS. Tlmy 1'rev on Mire, Inx-cU nml Otliei Vermin. "The bulletins on birds and mam mills published by the Iliologlcnl Sur vey nt Washington correct widely pre valent errors as to the economic status of .pedes that affect agricultural Inter ests, mid demonstrate the InetUelouoy and wnstofulness of bountv laws mi. dor which millions of dollars have been expended by the various States mid Territories without accomplishing the object for which they were Intended. "Hlrds are the farmer's most valua ble aids lu his life-long battle with the Insects that play on his crops. How Important, therefore, that he should not destroy them that do lilm grentest service, lu the ense of hawks and owls the division has shown, by the examination of the stomach contents of nbout three thousand of these uni versally hated mid persecuted birds, that only six out of the seventy-three kinds Inhabiting the United States are Injurious, mid three of these are so rare they need hardly be considered, lenvlng only three to bo taken Into ac count as enemies of agriculture. The otheis prey upon mice, Insects and oth er vermin, and rauk among the farm ers' best friends. '.Since Its establishment. In 1885, the division has examined the stomach contents of nearly tirteen thousnnd birds belonging to two hundred species nnd sub-species, and has nubllshed In. rormntlim on the rood habits of one hundred nnd forty Kinds, mainly hawks, owls, crows, 'ays. blackbirds. sparrows, thrushes, flycatchers, swal lows, wrens, shrikes, woodpeckers, horned larks and cedarblrds" Arthur Henry, In Alnslee's. HrltUh I'ontnl Iti'Tornx. Among the new century reforms which the postal authorities are credit ed with having miller consideration Is the adoption of the system known for many years lu India as the "value payable" parcel post. Under this scheme, for a very small commission, the postolllce delivers unreels, collects the value of the article, mid transmits II to the sender of the parcel. During last year L'.fiOO.OOO parcels wore thus carried by the Iudliiu postolllce, the commission realized niuouuting to $170,000. The Indian postolllce has a slmllnr sytom of paying money orders, the whole operation occupying no more time than It at present takes lu'dcllv orlng a registered letter and obtaining the addressee's receipt for It. This sys tem Is also under discussion at the gen eral postolllce. The number of letters, parcels, money orders, etc., carried by the Indian postolllce last year was (WO.000,000. The number of com- plaints was lullnltesiuial, and practi cally the whole of the work Is done by natives. There should bo little dlllleul ly, therefore. In Introducing these emi nently desirable reforms In the Eng lish system. London Express. He MuM limit u Gaiileii. House Agent "hot me see. I have a very nlco vanacnt Hat, sir, ou " Applicant "Won't do. 1 don't want a Hat. I must have a house." "House V" "Yes. with a garden." , "Cnrdou?" "Certnluly." "Um-well, now I think of It, I have one place a little out of town that might suit. There Is a spaco of ten or tlfleen square feet at the buck. It Is now paved with stone, but the pave ment can bu takou up easily enough." "That will do." "All right. Fond of (lowers, eh?" "No, but I've got to hnvo borne sort of a garden, you know, because I'm the editor or an agricultural paper." Tit-Ult. EDWARD'S CORONATION CURIOUS PRIVILEGES OF CERTAIN OFFICIALS ON THAT DAY. Orea! Chamberlain' night In Knter the KIiir' Itedchainher nnd lire II tin In All III Apparel, Keeping the Itnyal Ileil a a Itecompence Oilier a Oilil. The coronation Is already a general topic of conversation, writes tlio Lon don correspondent of the New York Sun, nnd much ancient lore Is bclug repented. The Lord Mayor nnd citi zens of London have an Importance of their own on the occasion of a corona tion. By the mouth of the Recorder they hnvo claimed, and successfully lu the past, "to officiate In the ofllco of the Butlery on the Coronation Day, nnd to nRslst the Chief Butler at table In the Hall, nnd after dinner In the chambers, and thero to serve the no bility." Accordingly It was ordered, so far back as In the rolgu of Klchnrd II., that "when the King should after enter Into Ids chnmbor nnd call for wine the Mayor of London should serve lilm therewith In n gold cup, nnd then have the same, together with Its cover, as of tlio King's gift." Though n year or more Is to elnpse before these gay deeds bo done the goldstnltliH and the silversmiths will meanwhile have plenty of occupation. Tho family of Dymoke, the heredit ary champion of Eugland, Is still ex tant, nnd, moreover, In possession of n highly Interesting collection of gob lots bestowed upon their ancestors In the past. Sir Wnltor Scott, wlm win present nt the coronation of George IV., has left us mi Interesting account of thnt ceremony, In which ho Informs us that the Dymoke, who was cham pion on that occasion, "was a line looking youth, who, however, bore too much the nppenrauce of a maiden knight to bo tho challenger of the world. Ills armor was In good taste, but his shield, a round target or roil dache. was out of all propriety, nnd Impossible to use on horseback; so that It was as well no one responded to his challenge." .. ...w.v- Another privilege was crantod nt this same pageant to Miss Fellowesas "herb strowor," nnd the quaintest of all the ninny privileges brought Into play was that of the Archbishop of Canterbury, who has tho right to pre sent the King with a mess of porridge, which was accordingly served up nt the banquet, the sovereign tasting n spoonful. King Edward VII. will probably abolish many of these medi aeval formalities. Tho present holder of the quaint title of "The Honorable, the King's Cham pion," Is Mr. Francis Seaman Dy moke, of Scrlvelsby Manor, Lincoln shire, who, according to tradition, should nt once lodge his title before the Court of Claims lu order thnt he may olllclato as "Champion of Eng lnnd" at the coronntlon of King Ed ward VII.. and, It Is said, Intends to do so. In bygone dnys the appearance of the champion riding Into Westmlns tor Hall, throwing down his gauntlet nml challenging to mortal combat any one who should gainsay tho sover eign's title to tho throne, was the most striking ceremonial of the coronation banquet. From time Immemorial a Dymoke has been tho Klng'sorQueen's champion, as the case may be, but It Is wrong to suppose lu consequence that the ofllco Is a hereditary one vested lu this ancient family, for. apart from Scrlvelsby, no oue Is enti tled to bo called champion to the reign ing sovereign. The olllce Is of Norman origin. The ollleo of Almoner at the corona tion was successfully claimed, on sev eral past occasions, by the Enrls and Marquises of Exeter of the day, who were also Lords of Burghley. This claim they made as holders of tho bar ony of Bedford, and tho fees and ad vantages of the otllee wore set forth as follows: "The basin or silver dish of the nl moniiry accustomed to be sot on the table before the King; the distribution of all the money put into that dish; a cloth of tine linen, n towel to hold therein the money that shall bo given In alms; likewise to hnvi tii ,.ih. i... Ing on tho ground in all places where tho King shall walk that day; also n tun of good wine and all other profits to tho said olllco attendant." Hut tho most personal of perquisites mo those that appertain to the Great Chamberlain. To "enter the King's bedchamber on coronation dav before ho rises, and to give lilm his st'ocklugs, shirt and drawers, nnd to dress the Kiug In all his upparol," was a claim allowed by Charles II. and .lames II. to tho Earls or Lludsey, who had their reward lu forty yards of velvet for their robes, ami nlso "the bed whereon the King lies ou the night procodiug his coronation, together with tho nightgown the King wears, and all the cushions nnd cloths hung round the snino chamber." When William and .Mary succeeded the case became a lit tle delicate, so that tho claim was ul lowed only cotidltlonnliv on iln .......I..., - - ",' " iiiv n,4 tut' to the Queen being discharged by a deputy, who, lu that Instmice, was the Couutess of Derby. l'erullur AiU, In Texas a man once advertised for "a boss over K000 sheep that cmi speak Spanish tluently." Then there was the horse dealer who boldly ud vertlsed: "A splendid gruy horse, calculated for a charger, or would carry a lady with a switch tall." W. S. Ollbert, of Gilbert & Sullivan opern fame, was stniullng on the steps of his clubhouse, whun a strauger ap proached and asked: "Does a man belong to your club with one eye named Walker?" "I don't know," was tho answer; "what's the namo of his other eye?" An ml. contains tho request for "a conohninn to look after a pair of n religious turn of mind." Confectioners' ad Bakers' Gazette. i THE PHILIPPINE FORESTS. Of Knormmi Kxtrnt nml Value 400 Vn rletle of Tree. It has been estimated that the for ests of the Philippine Islands cover an nrea of about -10,000,000 acres. Tho Island of Mindanao with nn nrea of some L'0,000,000 acres has Immense tracts of almost unbroken forest. The snme Is true with regard to the Islands of Mlndoro nnd Palawan, and oven lu Luzon, the most densely populated Is land of the group, and where most tim ber has been cut, there still exist mil lions of ncrcs of virgin forest. The forests will prove to be among tho grentest resources of these beautiful nnd fertile Islands, and, If the disposi tion of the timber Is Judiciously man aged by tho Government, sulllclcnt can be cut, without destroying tho forests, to provide funds for tunny much-needed public Improvements, nnd to recom pense the United States for the grcnt mllltpry and other expenditures. Much of this can bo done with absolute ad vantage to tho forests, ns millions of cubic feet of timber should bo cut In order to thin the dense growth so thnt the maximum annual growth of the trees can be obtained. One peculiarity about these forests Is that" there are no great areas cov ered by any one species of tree, so thnt to accumulate a cargo of ono kind of timber It must be assembled from dif ferent localities. There are mnny rea sons why Inrge capital will be required to enrry on a successful timber trade in these Islnnds, but with sulllclcnt menus there Is no commercial venture that will yield more remunerative profit. It Is not definitely known how many different species of trees exist in the archipelago, but the number is proba bly from 400 to GOO, of which a large proportion are hard woods. The For ester. Unlornl I'enny ronlnce. Little New Zealand, those three Isl nnds lu tho South Pacific Ocean, pro poses to lead the world In postal rates, and will on the first day of the new century Inaugurate a system of univer sal penny postage. This Is to be done ns an example to the rest or tho civil ized world, lu the hope that It will bo followed. No matter what other coun tries mny do. Now Zealand proposes to carry a letter to tho remotest re gions of tho globe to which postal ar rangements penetrate for one penny that Is, two cents. The local colonial authorities say that the reform Is needed, that the wny to reform Is to reform, and they propose to go ahead with it, though they know it will entail n loss of $400,000 the first year. It Is expected that this deficiency will dis appear with tho stimulus given to cor respondence by the diminished rate. It Is further expected that tho British empire will fall In line with the re form, nnd that before long the entire civilized world will adopt the penny standard nnd all reap the benefits of the cheap universal postage. IlenovnlliiR Itnynl Palace. Whenever thero Is u new reign In Ilussla nil the churches In Moscow nro painted nnd regllded. A new reign In England Is the signal for the reno vation of palaces. All town and coun try palaces belonging to the Crown will bo repaired, decorated and Im proved dining the period of mourn ing at the expense of tho Stnto. Many changes will bo made at Windsor, and Buckingham Palace will bo trans formed Internally. Mnny alterations will bo required before these cold, In artistic apartments can be adapted to tho requirements of u permanent home for tho King mid Queen. Mnny of these rooms are lighted by candles, but a circuit or electric light will bo extended from tho ballroom, drawing room and throne room to every sec tion of the palace. Tho gardens will need little attention, as the turf Is perfect, tho lake picturesquely bor dered with lawns, mid every tree In the forty acres shapely and well or dered. London correspondence New York Tribune. Slio anil tlio 1'urrot Aro Quirt. A Louisville couple living in a tint re cently had u parrot given them. They accepted tho bird, which was a young one, unable to say a word. It was duly Installed In the flat ami the fol lowing conversation took place be tween the husband, the wife mid the cook: Husband (who has approached the kitchen mistress guardedly while his wife Is out) "I say, .fane, you know we have that parrot hero. Now, I'll pay you a reasonable amount If you will never say a word before It, so It cannot learn to talk." Tho following day the wife tackled the cook. "I say, .lane, you know wo have this dear little parrot to rnlse. Now, I'll give you u hat mid a dress, nearly new. If you will talk all tho tlmo before It, nml teach It to talk," Jane Is hedging and drawing a rev enue from both sides or tho house. Smart Jane. Louisville Tlniej. Diamond Drilling In llrltUli Columbia. A good Illustration of tho close com mercial relations which modern meth ods of transportation hnvo brought nbout between the "ends of the earth" Is shown In tho present condition of tho rock-drilllug ludustry for prospect lug purposes lu British Columbia. This ludustry hns been very largely stopped ou account of the South African war, through the great Increase in the prlco of "borts," tho black diamonds which nru used for tipping the drills. These diamonds ordinarily sell for $10 u ca rat, but now cost $70 per carat. The result has been that dhuunud core drilling, as It is technically called, has risen lu cost from $1.50 to $1 a foot. Proprietory Medicine 1'urt'liuitei. There Is no question that the great middle classes, tho people lu the coun try towus, are the ones who buy pro prietary medicines. Boyce's Hustler. "TIM III I IHWII'W I SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL. It Is proposed to Illuminate tho Yoscmlto Falls, 2000 feet In height, by tho use of twenty arc lights In con nection with menus for producing col or effects. Some of tho roads nro nlso to be lighted with electricity. Henry B. Miller. United States Con sul nt Shanghai, declares thnt the con sumption of flour Is rapidly Increas ing In China, and he argues from this fact that there will soon bo a great demand in thnt country not only for American flour, but also for mill ma chinery. Although nn order for machinery to cut a tunnel n mile and a half long on tho Mnnchurlnn Hallway has only Just been placed (In America), It Is hoped that tho tunnel mny be com pleted In a year's time. Tho road will then bo opened nnd nfford a through route from Europe to the Pacific coast. The Ontario government has re served 1,400,000 acres of wild lnnd near Lake Temngnml, a great lako lying west of Lnko Temlscnmlng, on the Upper Ottawa. This will be used as a natlonnl park where the timber will be preserved, nnd the game will be allowed to Increase. The nuuiper of benvers and deer Is Increasing. A United States Treasury report estimates the present yenrlv consumn- tlon of corn by hogs, nt least eight thousand million bushels, or thirty eight per cent, of the present crop, nnd the average consumption by ench hog at not far from twenty bushels, nnd total number slaughtered the past year over rather than under forty mil lions. An attempt Is being made to free the streams of Louisiana and Florida from the water 'hyacinth. Hundreds of skiffs and small vessels have been caught by the water hyacinths, and nre unnblo to got out of the streams In which they were used. Tho drain age cnnnls lu New Orleans nro In peril, nnd the logging Industry of Southern Louisiana Is lu danger of destruction. There Is room for a new nnd successful process. In experimenting with the Gray and Miindy submarine telegraph recently, mi 800-pound bell was let down Into the ocean twenty feet below the sur- iii re. It was found that when the bell was tolled by menus of mechan ism the sound could bo easily heard on a ship a mile away, without any sort of connecting nnnnrntus. Mi'n sound waves being transmitted through the water, which Is, of course, u much better conductor than nlr. By tho aid of microphone attachment's the bell was heard at n distance of twelve miles. OrlKln of Writing. Arthur .1. Evans, discoverer of tho remains of a great prehistoric palace at Knossos, In Crete, which Is believed to be the original of tho fabled "Lnbv rlnth," snys that tho revelations made there enrry back the existence of writ ten documents on Greek soil some eight centuries beyond the earliest known monuments of Greek writing, nnd five centuries beyond tho earliest dated Phoenician record as seen on the Monblto stone. These discoveries, thereroro, "pliico the whole question of the origin of writing on a new basis." Mr. Evans thinks thnt tho Cretan hieroglyphs exactly correspond with what, lu virtue of their names, we must suppose to have beou the plcto rlnl originals of the Phoenician letters on which the alphabet is bused. Among these nre nleph. the ox's head; both, tho house; daleth. the door, and so forth. This contravenes the old theory of Do Bongo that the Phoeni cian letters were derived from early Egyptian forms signifying quite dif ferent objects. Youth's Companion. A Little Tale From the l'rnliiii. There was a young man who loved a beautiful maiden, but he was poor. Ono day ho asked her to be his wife, and she answered. "I lovo you. Still, I do not wish to bo a poor man's wife. Go nnd got money and then return mid we will live happily ever after." Tho young iiinu went away and ere long began to sway the markets. lie made millions mid still more millions, mid tho maiden waited. When the man had ton millions ho wanted to outshine one who had tlfty millions, and when that wish was grat ified he longed for a hundred millions; then he yearned for two hundred mil lions, mid nt lust he set .i billion up as the amount he wished to accumulate. When, ono day In those pnrts a cer tain old maid lay dying, she said: "There's no use expecting n hog to keep his mind on anything else after ho gets his feet In the trough." Chi cago Times-Herald. Toy For KngllMi Children. The Ingenuity displayed In the pro duction of penny toys Is marvelous, novelties coming out nearly every week. The forelgu producers uro quite alive to the fact that n child soon tiros of a plaything and wants another, so they keep up a supply of things bright, novel mid Ingenious. Moreover, each toy has Its season. As the summer approaches, when children delight to lie out of doors, the Germans send us musical rollers and Jingling cars, and for the long winter evenings they sup ply novel Indoor games mid Intricate puzzles nmusenient for many even ings nt tho cost of ono penny. Then tho United Stntes send lead pencils, wood blocks and colored toy books; tho French, dolls nnd tin toys, as well as all tho more expensive articles of this class. Cliambers's Journal. I.oft In Loudon Cuba, Twenty-one thousand pounds' worth of articles arc left In London cabs in a your. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE 4 FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Ite(rnpecllon New That Travel Hlorr. lyThey Went Halve Sponjco Clr The Htory Teller Force of Ilnlilt A Doubtful Compliment, Kto., Ktc. Back in the dim perspective of the past We see our eagerhopeful youth again J It certainly is not what wc are now, And, somehow, not what wc thought wo were then. Puck. New That Travel Slowly. "I sec thnt tho egg famine Is nt nn end." "It will take 'cm a month to find thnt out at our boarding house." Cleveland Plalndenlcr. They Went Halve. "I got an apple," snld the generous little boy; "d'yer want some of It?" "Assuredly," replied little Emerson Hubb. "I shall bo delighted lo go you er hemispheres." Philadelphia Press. Sponee Cale, Mistress "Do you call this sponge cake? Why, It's ns hard as con be!" New Cook "Yes, mum; that's the y way a sponge Is before It's wet. Soak It In your ten, mum." New York Weekly. The Story Teller. "Doesn't it Jar you when a woman tries to tell n funny story?" "Not so much ns when some try. A' woman never attempts to use the Irish dialect when she doesn't know." Phil adelphia Press. Force of Ilnlilt. Mr. Hnlst "I want a couple of egg. boiled three mid n half minutes, and hurry up nbout It, for I've got to catch " Walter-"A1I right, sir. They'll bo ready lu n minute." Philadelphia Press. A Doubtful Compliment. Tom "Ida told me she had put my lock of hair In n conspicuous place." .Tack "Did you dud It so?" Tom "Yes, she dropped It In tho cage and tfio ennnry mnde a nest of It." Chicago News. Not Serlou. First Eoy-"Pvo got to take a llckin when I get home tonight." Second Boy "Father or mother?" ''Irst Boy "Mother." Second Boy "Oh. well, thnt won't amount to much:" Sometvllle .lour mil. The UmibI Way. "Mamma, can I have thnt piece of mince plo that was left from dinner?" "No, dear. It's cold." "No, It Isn't, mnmmii; I warmed It." "Warmed it? When?" "After I nte It, iuaiiiiiia."-ClcvehiinJ Plalndenlcr. Not Completed. . Mrs. Dnrllng-"You told me before wu were married that you had an In come of $r,000 a year. What has be come of It?" Mr. Darllng-"Can't toll you until got an itemized bill from your dress maker." Denver News. A Fatal Menu. Mabel "Why so despondent, Ath ena?" Athenn "Algernon told me to-night that his lovo for mo Is dead." Mabol-"Oh, that's nothing new. Ho has killed everything he has gone iuto for u dozen years." Denver News. Chanced HI Mind. FrIend-"Btit I thought you wero going to commit suicide lu case she re jected you?" Bejected Suitor "So I was, but af ter I made tho threat to her mid left. I came back ami peeked In the window nnd saw her reading a uovul." Ohlu State Journal. A I'ltthetln Bereavement. Miss Singer "I saw in the paper that there Is to be an entertainment for a 'Musical Orphanage!' Piny, what may a musical orphanage be?" Mr. Kenltall -I can't say positively, , you know. But I Imagine It must bo'ti child deprived of Its native nlr." Har per's Bazar. Illllllll-It-HH. "They sa.v thero is duii-'or." said (ho poet, "that contagious diseases may bo spreaii by the circulation of books." "Oh. well, I wouldn't won It," his friend replied. "You w library y about III never bo to bhimo for diseases that happen to get spread that wuv." Tliues-Horahl. Chlcagii Heart to Heart Talk. I dill not decry her Judgment, or be- come angry with Bridget when she In formed me that sho thought the now milk mail was perfectly heavenly. Simply told her that It was but nut urul that he should remind ono of tho milky way, at which wo both laughed heartily. And was not this far better, girls, than If I had becunie angry, thus dark ening tho day for both of nsV lutllaa apolls Sun, Side I.I (flu a l,rv. From beneath tho pile of shields tho Subines hud thrown upon Tnrpolu its they passed through the gate of tho f Itoinan citadel Mas heard a fiilut sound. Ouo of the soldiers bent down and listened. It was tho voice of tho treacherous maiden, "You think you hnvo killed me," sho said, lu hoarse, inuilleil accents. "Vli Inlns and murderers, I shall llvo In tho Latin school histories ages utter vour names have been forgotten." Thou till was stJU.-Chlcitijo Trlbuue. !ff'