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FlELD-LORE.
In furrow dark beneath tlio plow,
With thoughtful mini nml happy fiicc,
Slow o'er tin rolling rniri'n now
TIio fanner walk with inenMircd pace.
No flotinil in near. The vat clear ky
Holds naught but oft nml nolrmti light;
Hi heart i warm, hi purpose high,
He love the day, nor dreads the night.
Something there I the prairie hold
For nil the lonely Alienee there
That make the npirit strong nml hold
To conquer hntc and otiflc care;
The deriving field nwnken hope. ,
The ilUtaut skv line lengthen life, '
Ami tolling on the windy lope '
The mind forget it nngry strife.
Tim culm thnt hrood hv wood and ttre.im
A benediction ii to him
Who would thing were not a they ecm
Where trade and tumult grow mure
grim;
The open hill, the sweeping view,
Make clfiluieH sceni duiker till,
For thenc fair prairie life rennw
And give their nil to him who will.
Charles V. Stcvcnon, in the Chicago
Record.
iHHHyH
3:u-i.!-j v i:
b ijupKiiis i uuiigsujr :
By Cvorard Jack Apptoton,
m
SHE was n very pretty child,
with tin- customary bright yol
lw linlr which would turn to
brown In n few yi'nrH-nnil
blue eyes that were even on their wny
to becoming gray, but though sho mi
iloubteilly resembled JIoikhiH In iiiiiuy
ways, she wiih tint n child. Her moth
r nml fnthcr Imil both died one winter
In the Snulh, more tliaii n year ago,
nml IIopkhiH. being tlio clilld'H undo
on Hm mother's Hide. had taken It for
IiIh own because there seemed to bo no
one cine to take It. AH Hopkins's poo
jib' were dead, nlso, or abroad for In
definite periods, nml remembering,
with u shudder, the crudity of the
clilld'H father'n relations, Hopkins
knew that his sister would never rest
In her grave If ho allowed them to
bring It up. So lie did n queer thing,
as ho was more than apt to do. and
took the little girl to bring up himself.
Not that he attempted the tiling sin
glo-hundod that would have been too
wild an undertaking even for Hop
kins; ho simply brought her homo, mid
bis faithful old housekeeper and her
daughter tool; the Utile one In hand,
while he treated her as If she woro his
daughter, anil consequently was not
bored by her presence n great ilrnl.
She was three years old when she
came to lilm, ami Inside of six months
she was calling him 'Tupa" quite as If
she had never had another such rela
tive, and Hopkins, having it lurking
fondness for children, rather encour
aged her to do so, though protending
to himself that It annoyed hlin.
Very few of his club friends knew of
Ills eccentricity In this case, but those
who did, mid who saw lilm driving
with her every pleasant afternoon lu
the park, smiled ami murmured:
"There Is Hopkins with bis youngs
lor. Queer chap, he." ami passed on.
Now, added to his love for children,
Hopkins loved borne life, and being a
young man who had seen comparative
ly little or that life, he naturally Ideal
ized what little he knew of It. When
the youngster came to bis house and
mnde n broad beam of sunlight wher
ever she went, that Idealization grew
even larger, ami bo wished in truth
she were his daughter, ami that Kath
erlne . Hut hero Hopkins smiled
nml stopped thinking.
Ho was In love, of course. There
bad never lived a Hopkins In nil the
generation of Hopklnses that had not
noon in tli.it condition during the
greater part of his life, but Hopkins
was quite sure that though his ances
tors had been ardent lovers all, none
of them could have cared for their
chosen ones as ln cared for Katherluo
a fact which ho Imparted to them
one night as ho sat In the library and
mused on the subject after the young
ster was safely put to bed. And the
only nnswur those respected ancestors
Wilde was to let n quiet smile spread
over each and every one of their paint-mid-canvas
faces, and broaden In the
liiollglit's pleasing glow.
Hut though their descendant was not
ordinarily a coward, and quite as self
possessed as most young nien of his
M't, when It came to saying those same
fervent words to Katherluo herself,
he found It just n little more than ho
could muster courage to do. The aw
fill possibility of failure stared lilm so
constantly in the face that If ho did
Hot tremble lu his physical knees when
he thought o. It, lie undoubtedly did so
In his astral counterparts. Yet when
over he wont around the square to see
her. ns he did very legularly now, ho
Invariably started down the slops with
the firm determination to ask hor and
have It over with, and ho Invariably
t-aino back with that strong resolve
done up In splints, as it wore, ami n
feeling of self-contempt, mingled with
self-pity, embedded lu his mind.
Hut one night It was one of the
nights when ho did not go to see Kath
erlne. nud -which had been spent with
the youngster In an extremely noisy
and romping, lint entirely happy, man
nor a great Idea came to him, and the
Iden bearing upon the subject always
uppermost In his mind nowadays, im
began the next day to develop, and
nurse, nml enlarge It, and get ready to
make It of use to him.
The next day but one. that Idea hav
ing been made the most of, ho came
homo early In the afternoon, iinil In
structing Mrs. Hlgglm-. the house
keeper, to put on the you.igstor's best
bit) and tucker, be ran up ialrs to his
room, where he found his own clothes
properly laid out by his f. ihful num.
lu the course of nn hour ho onppeared
and at the foot of the stall found the
youngster waiting for lilm. 'unking ex
coptlounlly pretty In a iMnty little
gown he had not seen befo. .
"We will be back lu an uour or so.
I vmrJW..-i..w' ""Iff IK WW -WBRlll'nili m tiimnii
Mrs. Hlgglns," said he, ns they went
out the door.
They found Miss Knlharlne alone,
and as she cmuo Into the room ami
Hopkins rose to greet her, she ran
quickly by lilm with a little nod, and
falling upon her knees lu u very girlish
but pretty fashion before the smiling
youngster, she cried:
"Oh! this lovely child! And she Is
renlly yours, Sir. Hopkins?"
Hopkins smiled.
"All mine," said he, "by virtue of
adoption."
Then Miss Kntherlne took the young
ster upon her lap-tho prettiest picture
he had seen for mouths was that and
they fell to talking of other things,
while the child, Willi her big blue eyes
upon Miss Kntherlne's face, listened
thoughtfully to It all, mid wondered
why licr "papa" looked so happy. And
Hopkins's Idea of a home life with
Kntherlne at lis head, mennwhlle,
grew strong and waxed exceeding
great.
Ten minutes pnsiod, mid then, nit
Miss Kntherlne was asking the little
girl about herself, the youngster sud
denly straightened up, ami looking nt
her thoughtfully, said:
"Yes, I lores my papn mid my dolls
and ovcryllng, but I loves you too.
Won't you be my liiuvvor?"
For a moment Miss Knthcrlno's
pretty face turned from rose to white
and back again, but before she could
make answer to the youngster's re
mark Hopkins had swallowed his fear
and the crisis was passed.
"You hear what the youngster says,
Katherluo," said ho, taking one of her
soft hands lu his and leaning forwnrd.
"I love you, too, dearest, mid I want
you for my wife. Do you think you
could lovo mo and be n 'niuvvor' to
this little one?"
What her answer was Is no matter
now, but some time later, ns Hopkins
mid his youngster were walking grave
ly, though how happily only she nnd
Kntherlne knew, homo again, the child
looked to lilm for a moment, and then
whispered up to lilm:
"And I said It right, didn't I, papa?
Jos' like yon told uie to?" Waverley
.Magazine.
HOW BIROS HELP FARMERS.
Tlmy 1'rev on Mire, Inx-cU nml Otliei
Vermin.
"The bulletins on birds and mam
mills published by the Iliologlcnl Sur
vey nt Washington correct widely pre
valent errors as to the economic status
of .pedes that affect agricultural Inter
ests, mid demonstrate the InetUelouoy
and wnstofulness of bountv laws mi.
dor which millions of dollars have been
expended by the various States mid
Territories without accomplishing the
object for which they were Intended.
"Hlrds are the farmer's most valua
ble aids lu his life-long battle with the
Insects that play on his crops. How
Important, therefore, that he should
not destroy them that do lilm grentest
service, lu the ense of hawks and
owls the division has shown, by the
examination of the stomach contents
of nbout three thousand of these uni
versally hated mid persecuted birds,
that only six out of the seventy-three
kinds Inhabiting the United States are
Injurious, mid three of these are so
rare they need hardly be considered,
lenvlng only three to bo taken Into ac
count as enemies of agriculture. The
otheis prey upon mice, Insects and oth
er vermin, and rauk among the farm
ers' best friends.
'.Since Its establishment. In 1885, the
division has examined the stomach
contents of nearly tirteen thousnnd
birds belonging to two hundred species
nnd sub-species, and has nubllshed In.
rormntlim on the rood habits of one
hundred nnd forty Kinds, mainly
hawks, owls, crows, 'ays. blackbirds.
sparrows, thrushes, flycatchers, swal
lows, wrens, shrikes, woodpeckers,
horned larks and cedarblrds" Arthur
Henry, In Alnslee's.
HrltUh I'ontnl Iti'Tornx.
Among the new century reforms
which the postal authorities are credit
ed with having miller consideration Is
the adoption of the system known for
many years lu India as the "value
payable" parcel post. Under this
scheme, for a very small commission,
the postolllce delivers unreels, collects
the value of the article, mid transmits
II to the sender of the parcel. During
last year L'.fiOO.OOO parcels wore thus
carried by the Iudliiu postolllce, the
commission realized niuouuting to
$170,000.
The Indian postolllce has a slmllnr
sytom of paying money orders, the
whole operation occupying no more
time than It at present takes lu'dcllv
orlng a registered letter and obtaining
the addressee's receipt for It. This sys
tem Is also under discussion at the gen
eral postolllce. The number of letters,
parcels, money orders, etc., carried by
the Indian postolllce last year was
(WO.000,000. The number of com-
plaints was lullnltesiuial, and practi
cally the whole of the work Is done by
natives. There should bo little dlllleul
ly, therefore. In Introducing these emi
nently desirable reforms In the Eng
lish system. London Express.
He MuM limit u Gaiileii.
House Agent "hot me see. I have
a very nlco vanacnt Hat, sir, ou "
Applicant "Won't do. 1 don't want
a Hat. I must have a house."
"House V"
"Yes. with a garden." ,
"Cnrdou?"
"Certnluly."
"Um-well, now I think of It, I have
one place a little out of town that
might suit. There Is a spaco of ten or
tlfleen square feet at the buck. It Is
now paved with stone, but the pave
ment can bu takou up easily enough."
"That will do."
"All right. Fond of (lowers, eh?"
"No, but I've got to hnvo borne sort
of a garden, you know, because I'm the
editor or an agricultural paper." Tit-Ult.
EDWARD'S CORONATION
CURIOUS PRIVILEGES OF CERTAIN
OFFICIALS ON THAT DAY.
Orea! Chamberlain' night In Knter the
KIiir' Itedchainher nnd lire II tin In
All III Apparel, Keeping the Itnyal
Ileil a a Itecompence Oilier a Oilil.
The coronation Is already a general
topic of conversation, writes tlio Lon
don correspondent of the New York
Sun, nnd much ancient lore Is bclug
repented. The Lord Mayor nnd citi
zens of London have an Importance of
their own on the occasion of a corona
tion. By the mouth of the Recorder
they hnvo claimed, and successfully
lu the past, "to officiate In the ofllco of
the Butlery on the Coronation Day,
nnd to nRslst the Chief Butler at table
In the Hall, nnd after dinner In the
chambers, and thero to serve the no
bility." Accordingly It was ordered,
so far back as In the rolgu of Klchnrd
II., that "when the King should after
enter Into Ids chnmbor nnd call for
wine the Mayor of London should
serve lilm therewith In n gold cup, nnd
then have the same, together with Its
cover, as of tlio King's gift." Though
n year or more Is to elnpse before these
gay deeds bo done the goldstnltliH and
the silversmiths will meanwhile have
plenty of occupation.
Tho family of Dymoke, the heredit
ary champion of Eugland, Is still ex
tant, nnd, moreover, In possession of
n highly Interesting collection of gob
lots bestowed upon their ancestors In
the past. Sir Wnltor Scott, wlm win
present nt the coronation of George
IV., has left us mi Interesting account
of thnt ceremony, In which ho Informs
us that the Dymoke, who was cham
pion on that occasion, "was a line
looking youth, who, however, bore too
much the nppenrauce of a maiden
knight to bo tho challenger of the
world. Ills armor was In good taste,
but his shield, a round target or roil
dache. was out of all propriety, nnd
Impossible to use on horseback; so that
It was as well no one responded to his
challenge." .. ...w.v-
Another privilege was crantod nt
this same pageant to Miss Fellowesas
"herb strowor," nnd the quaintest of
all the ninny privileges brought Into
play was that of the Archbishop of
Canterbury, who has tho right to pre
sent the King with a mess of porridge,
which was accordingly served up nt
the banquet, the sovereign tasting n
spoonful. King Edward VII. will
probably abolish many of these medi
aeval formalities.
Tho present holder of the quaint title
of "The Honorable, the King's Cham
pion," Is Mr. Francis Seaman Dy
moke, of Scrlvelsby Manor, Lincoln
shire, who, according to tradition,
should nt once lodge his title before
the Court of Claims lu order thnt he
may olllclato as "Champion of Eng
lnnd" at the coronntlon of King Ed
ward VII.. and, It Is said, Intends to
do so. In bygone dnys the appearance
of the champion riding Into Westmlns
tor Hall, throwing down his gauntlet
nml challenging to mortal combat any
one who should gainsay tho sover
eign's title to tho throne, was the most
striking ceremonial of the coronation
banquet. From time Immemorial a
Dymoke has been tho Klng'sorQueen's
champion, as the case may be, but It
Is wrong to suppose lu consequence
that the ofllco Is a hereditary one
vested lu this ancient family, for.
apart from Scrlvelsby, no oue Is enti
tled to bo called champion to the reign
ing sovereign. The olllce Is of Norman
origin.
The ollleo of Almoner at the corona
tion was successfully claimed, on sev
eral past occasions, by the Enrls and
Marquises of Exeter of the day, who
were also Lords of Burghley. This
claim they made as holders of tho bar
ony of Bedford, and tho fees and ad
vantages of the otllee wore set forth as
follows:
"The basin or silver dish of the nl
moniiry accustomed to be sot on the
table before the King; the distribution
of all the money put into that dish; a
cloth of tine linen, n towel to hold
therein the money that shall bo given
In alms; likewise to hnvi tii ,.ih. i...
Ing on tho ground in all places where
tho King shall walk that day; also n
tun of good wine and all other profits
to tho said olllco attendant."
Hut tho most personal of perquisites
mo those that appertain to the Great
Chamberlain. To "enter the King's
bedchamber on coronation dav before
ho rises, and to give lilm his st'ocklugs,
shirt and drawers, nnd to dress the
Kiug In all his upparol," was a claim
allowed by Charles II. and .lames II.
to tho Earls or Lludsey, who had their
reward lu forty yards of velvet for
their robes, ami nlso "the bed whereon
the King lies ou the night procodiug
his coronation, together with tho
nightgown the King wears, and all the
cushions nnd cloths hung round the
snino chamber." When William and
.Mary succeeded the case became a lit
tle delicate, so that tho claim was ul
lowed only cotidltlonnliv on iln .......I...,
- - ",' " iiiv n,4 tut'
to the Queen being discharged by a
deputy, who, lu that Instmice, was the
Couutess of Derby.
l'erullur AiU,
In Texas a man once advertised for
"a boss over K000 sheep that cmi
speak Spanish tluently." Then there
was the horse dealer who boldly ud
vertlsed: "A splendid gruy horse,
calculated for a charger, or would
carry a lady with a switch tall." W.
S. Ollbert, of Gilbert & Sullivan opern
fame, was stniullng on the steps of
his clubhouse, whun a strauger ap
proached and asked: "Does a man
belong to your club with one eye
named Walker?" "I don't know,"
was tho answer; "what's the namo of
his other eye?" An ml. contains tho
request for "a conohninn to look after
a pair of n religious turn of mind."
Confectioners' ad Bakers' Gazette.
i
THE PHILIPPINE FORESTS.
Of Knormmi Kxtrnt nml Value 400 Vn
rletle of Tree.
It has been estimated that the for
ests of the Philippine Islands cover an
nrea of about -10,000,000 acres. Tho
Island of Mindanao with nn nrea of
some L'0,000,000 acres has Immense
tracts of almost unbroken forest. The
snme Is true with regard to the Islands
of Mlndoro nnd Palawan, and oven lu
Luzon, the most densely populated Is
land of the group, and where most tim
ber has been cut, there still exist mil
lions of ncrcs of virgin forest. The
forests will prove to be among tho
grentest resources of these beautiful
nnd fertile Islands, and, If the disposi
tion of the timber Is Judiciously man
aged by tho Government, sulllclcnt can
be cut, without destroying tho forests,
to provide funds for tunny much-needed
public Improvements, nnd to recom
pense the United States for the grcnt
mllltpry and other expenditures. Much
of this can bo done with absolute ad
vantage to tho forests, ns millions of
cubic feet of timber should bo cut In
order to thin the dense growth so thnt
the maximum annual growth of the
trees can be obtained.
One peculiarity about these forests
Is that" there are no great areas cov
ered by any one species of tree, so thnt
to accumulate a cargo of ono kind of
timber It must be assembled from dif
ferent localities. There are mnny rea
sons why Inrge capital will be required
to enrry on a successful timber trade
in these Islnnds, but with sulllclcnt
menus there Is no commercial venture
that will yield more remunerative
profit.
It Is not definitely known how many
different species of trees exist in the
archipelago, but the number is proba
bly from 400 to GOO, of which a large
proportion are hard woods. The For
ester. Unlornl I'enny ronlnce.
Little New Zealand, those three Isl
nnds lu tho South Pacific Ocean, pro
poses to lead the world In postal rates,
and will on the first day of the new
century Inaugurate a system of univer
sal penny postage. This Is to be done
ns an example to the rest or tho civil
ized world, lu the hope that It will bo
followed. No matter what other coun
tries mny do. Now Zealand proposes
to carry a letter to tho remotest re
gions of tho globe to which postal ar
rangements penetrate for one penny
that Is, two cents. The local colonial
authorities say that the reform Is
needed, that the wny to reform Is to
reform, and they propose to go ahead
with it, though they know it will entail
n loss of $400,000 the first year. It Is
expected that this deficiency will dis
appear with tho stimulus given to cor
respondence by the diminished rate.
It Is further expected that tho British
empire will fall In line with the re
form, nnd that before long the entire
civilized world will adopt the penny
standard nnd all reap the benefits of
the cheap universal postage.
IlenovnlliiR Itnynl Palace.
Whenever thero Is u new reign In
Ilussla nil the churches In Moscow
nro painted nnd regllded. A new reign
In England Is the signal for the reno
vation of palaces. All town and coun
try palaces belonging to the Crown
will bo repaired, decorated and Im
proved dining the period of mourn
ing at the expense of tho Stnto. Many
changes will bo made at Windsor, and
Buckingham Palace will bo trans
formed Internally. Mnny alterations
will bo required before these cold, In
artistic apartments can be adapted to
tho requirements of u permanent
home for tho King mid Queen. Mnny
of these rooms are lighted by candles,
but a circuit or electric light will bo
extended from tho ballroom, drawing
room and throne room to every sec
tion of the palace. Tho gardens will
need little attention, as the turf Is
perfect, tho lake picturesquely bor
dered with lawns, mid every tree In
the forty acres shapely and well or
dered. London correspondence New
York Tribune.
Slio anil tlio 1'urrot Aro Quirt.
A Louisville couple living in a tint re
cently had u parrot given them. They
accepted tho bird, which was a young
one, unable to say a word. It was
duly Installed In the flat ami the fol
lowing conversation took place be
tween the husband, the wife mid the
cook:
Husband (who has approached the
kitchen mistress guardedly while his
wife Is out) "I say, .fane, you know
we have that parrot hero. Now, I'll
pay you a reasonable amount If you
will never say a word before It, so It
cannot learn to talk."
Tho following day the wife tackled
the cook. "I say, .lane, you know wo
have this dear little parrot to rnlse.
Now, I'll give you u hat mid a dress,
nearly new. If you will talk all tho
tlmo before It, nml teach It to talk,"
Jane Is hedging and drawing a rev
enue from both sides or tho house.
Smart Jane. Louisville Tlniej.
Diamond Drilling In llrltUli Columbia.
A good Illustration of tho close com
mercial relations which modern meth
ods of transportation hnvo brought
nbout between the "ends of the earth"
Is shown In tho present condition of
tho rock-drilllug ludustry for prospect
lug purposes lu British Columbia. This
ludustry hns been very largely stopped
ou account of the South African war,
through the great Increase in the prlco
of "borts," tho black diamonds which
nru used for tipping the drills. These
diamonds ordinarily sell for $10 u ca
rat, but now cost $70 per carat. The
result has been that dhuunud core
drilling, as It is technically called, has
risen lu cost from $1.50 to $1 a foot.
Proprietory Medicine 1'urt'liuitei.
There Is no question that the great
middle classes, tho people lu the coun
try towus, are the ones who buy pro
prietary medicines. Boyce's Hustler.
"TIM III I IHWII'W I
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.
It Is proposed to Illuminate tho
Yoscmlto Falls, 2000 feet In height,
by tho use of twenty arc lights In con
nection with menus for producing col
or effects. Some of tho roads nro nlso
to be lighted with electricity.
Henry B. Miller. United States Con
sul nt Shanghai, declares thnt the con
sumption of flour Is rapidly Increas
ing In China, and he argues from this
fact that there will soon bo a great
demand in thnt country not only for
American flour, but also for mill ma
chinery. Although nn order for machinery to
cut a tunnel n mile and a half long on
tho Mnnchurlnn Hallway has only
Just been placed (In America), It Is
hoped that tho tunnel mny be com
pleted In a year's time. Tho road will
then bo opened nnd nfford a through
route from Europe to the Pacific coast.
The Ontario government has re
served 1,400,000 acres of wild lnnd
near Lake Temngnml, a great lako
lying west of Lnko Temlscnmlng, on
the Upper Ottawa. This will be used
as a natlonnl park where the timber
will be preserved, nnd the game will
be allowed to Increase. The nuuiper
of benvers and deer Is Increasing.
A United States Treasury report
estimates the present yenrlv consumn-
tlon of corn by hogs, nt least eight
thousand million bushels, or thirty
eight per cent, of the present crop, nnd
the average consumption by ench hog
at not far from twenty bushels, nnd
total number slaughtered the past
year over rather than under forty mil
lions. An attempt Is being made to free
the streams of Louisiana and Florida
from the water 'hyacinth. Hundreds
of skiffs and small vessels have been
caught by the water hyacinths, and
nre unnblo to got out of the streams
In which they were used. Tho drain
age cnnnls lu New Orleans nro In
peril, nnd the logging Industry of
Southern Louisiana Is lu danger of
destruction. There Is room for a new
nnd successful process.
In experimenting with the Gray and
Miindy submarine telegraph recently,
mi 800-pound bell was let down Into
the ocean twenty feet below the sur-
iii re. It was found that when the
bell was tolled by menus of mechan
ism the sound could bo easily heard
on a ship a mile away, without any
sort of connecting nnnnrntus. Mi'n
sound waves being transmitted
through the water, which Is, of course,
u much better conductor than nlr. By
tho aid of microphone attachment's
the bell was heard at n distance of
twelve miles.
OrlKln of Writing.
Arthur .1. Evans, discoverer of tho
remains of a great prehistoric palace
at Knossos, In Crete, which Is believed
to be the original of tho fabled "Lnbv
rlnth," snys that tho revelations made
there enrry back the existence of writ
ten documents on Greek soil some
eight centuries beyond the earliest
known monuments of Greek writing,
nnd five centuries beyond tho earliest
dated Phoenician record as seen on
the Monblto stone. These discoveries,
thereroro, "pliico the whole question of
the origin of writing on a new basis."
Mr. Evans thinks thnt tho Cretan
hieroglyphs exactly correspond with
what, lu virtue of their names, we
must suppose to have beou the plcto
rlnl originals of the Phoenician letters
on which the alphabet is bused.
Among these nre nleph. the ox's head;
both, tho house; daleth. the door, and
so forth. This contravenes the old
theory of Do Bongo that the Phoeni
cian letters were derived from early
Egyptian forms signifying quite dif
ferent objects. Youth's Companion.
A Little Tale From the l'rnliiii.
There was a young man who loved
a beautiful maiden, but he was poor.
Ono day ho asked her to be his wife,
and she answered.
"I lovo you. Still, I do not wish to
bo a poor man's wife. Go nnd got
money and then return mid we will
live happily ever after."
Tho young iiinu went away and ere
long began to sway the markets. lie
made millions mid still more millions,
mid tho maiden waited.
When the man had ton millions ho
wanted to outshine one who had tlfty
millions, and when that wish was grat
ified he longed for a hundred millions;
then he yearned for two hundred mil
lions, mid nt lust he set .i billion up as
the amount he wished to accumulate.
When, ono day In those pnrts a cer
tain old maid lay dying, she said:
"There's no use expecting n hog to
keep his mind on anything else after
ho gets his feet In the trough." Chi
cago Times-Herald.
Toy For KngllMi Children.
The Ingenuity displayed In the pro
duction of penny toys Is marvelous,
novelties coming out nearly every
week. The forelgu producers uro quite
alive to the fact that n child soon tiros
of a plaything and wants another, so
they keep up a supply of things bright,
novel mid Ingenious. Moreover, each
toy has Its season. As the summer
approaches, when children delight to
lie out of doors, the Germans send us
musical rollers and Jingling cars, and
for the long winter evenings they sup
ply novel Indoor games mid Intricate
puzzles nmusenient for many even
ings nt tho cost of ono penny. Then
tho United Stntes send lead pencils,
wood blocks and colored toy books;
tho French, dolls nnd tin toys, as well
as all tho more expensive articles of
this class. Cliambers's Journal.
I.oft In Loudon Cuba,
Twenty-one thousand pounds' worth
of articles arc left In London cabs in
a your.
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE 4
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.
Ite(rnpecllon New That Travel Hlorr.
lyThey Went Halve Sponjco Clr
The Htory Teller Force of Ilnlilt
A Doubtful Compliment, Kto., Ktc.
Back in the dim perspective of the past
We see our eagerhopeful youth again J
It certainly is not what wc are now,
And, somehow, not what wc thought wo
were then.
Puck.
New That Travel Slowly.
"I sec thnt tho egg famine Is nt nn
end."
"It will take 'cm a month to find thnt
out at our boarding house." Cleveland
Plalndenlcr.
They Went Halve.
"I got an apple," snld the generous
little boy; "d'yer want some of It?"
"Assuredly," replied little Emerson
Hubb. "I shall bo delighted lo go you
er hemispheres." Philadelphia
Press.
Sponee Cale,
Mistress "Do you call this sponge
cake? Why, It's ns hard as con be!"
New Cook "Yes, mum; that's the y
way a sponge Is before It's wet. Soak
It In your ten, mum." New York
Weekly.
The Story Teller.
"Doesn't it Jar you when a woman
tries to tell n funny story?"
"Not so much ns when some try. A'
woman never attempts to use the Irish
dialect when she doesn't know." Phil
adelphia Press.
Force of Ilnlilt.
Mr. Hnlst "I want a couple of egg.
boiled three mid n half minutes, and
hurry up nbout It, for I've got to
catch "
Walter-"A1I right, sir. They'll bo
ready lu n minute." Philadelphia
Press.
A Doubtful Compliment.
Tom "Ida told me she had put my
lock of hair In n conspicuous place."
.Tack "Did you dud It so?"
Tom "Yes, she dropped It In tho
cage and tfio ennnry mnde a nest of It."
Chicago News.
Not Serlou.
First Eoy-"Pvo got to take a llckin
when I get home tonight."
Second Boy "Father or mother?"
''Irst Boy "Mother."
Second Boy "Oh. well, thnt won't
amount to much:" Sometvllle .lour
mil. The UmibI Way.
"Mamma, can I have thnt piece of
mince plo that was left from dinner?"
"No, dear. It's cold."
"No, It Isn't, mnmmii; I warmed It."
"Warmed it? When?"
"After I nte It, iuaiiiiiia."-ClcvehiinJ
Plalndenlcr.
Not Completed. .
Mrs. Dnrllng-"You told me before
wu were married that you had an In
come of $r,000 a year. What has be
come of It?"
Mr. Darllng-"Can't toll you until
got an itemized bill from your dress
maker." Denver News.
A Fatal Menu.
Mabel "Why so despondent, Ath
ena?" Athenn "Algernon told me to-night
that his lovo for mo Is dead."
Mabol-"Oh, that's nothing new. Ho
has killed everything he has gone iuto
for u dozen years." Denver News.
Chanced HI Mind.
FrIend-"Btit I thought you wero
going to commit suicide lu case she re
jected you?"
Bejected Suitor "So I was, but af
ter I made tho threat to her mid left.
I came back ami peeked In the window
nnd saw her reading a uovul." Ohlu
State Journal.
A I'ltthetln Bereavement.
Miss Singer "I saw in the paper
that there Is to be an entertainment
for a 'Musical Orphanage!' Piny, what
may a musical orphanage be?"
Mr. Kenltall -I can't say positively, ,
you know. But I Imagine It must bo'ti
child deprived of Its native nlr." Har
per's Bazar.
Illllllll-It-HH.
"They sa.v thero is duii-'or."
said (ho
poet, "that contagious diseases
may bo
spreaii by the circulation of
books."
"Oh. well, I wouldn't won
It," his friend replied. "You w
library
y about
III never
bo to bhimo for diseases that
happen
to get spread that wuv."
Tliues-Horahl.
Chlcagii
Heart to Heart Talk.
I dill not decry her Judgment, or be-
come angry with Bridget when she In
formed me that sho thought the now
milk mail was perfectly heavenly.
Simply told her that It was but nut
urul that he should remind ono of tho
milky way, at which wo both laughed
heartily.
And was not this far better, girls,
than If I had becunie angry, thus dark
ening tho day for both of nsV lutllaa
apolls Sun,
Side I.I (flu a l,rv.
From beneath tho pile of shields tho
Subines hud thrown upon Tnrpolu its
they passed through the gate of tho f
Itoinan citadel Mas heard a fiilut
sound.
Ouo of the soldiers bent down and
listened.
It was tho voice of tho treacherous
maiden,
"You think you hnvo killed me," sho
said, lu hoarse, inuilleil accents. "Vli
Inlns and murderers, I shall llvo In tho
Latin school histories ages utter vour
names have been forgotten."
Thou till was stJU.-Chlcitijo Trlbuue.
!ff'
