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THE ADVERTISER.
THE ADVERTISES
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ft. W. r-LUtBKOTHEB. T. C. HACfeKK.
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S3- xo papersent ftotttheofflceaatn?Md Ig.
ESTABLISHED 1856. l
Oldest Paper in tbe State. J
BBOWNVILLE, NEBEASKATHTJESDAY, APRIL 10, 1879.
VOL. 28 NO. 42.
&EADIXG 3IATTE0XETERTPAGE
OFFICIAL PAPER',QF THE COUNTY
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The Winds of Fate.
Two boats rocked on the river,
In the bliaddow of leaf and tree;
One was In love with the harbor.
One was in love with the sen.
The one that loved the harbor
The winds of fate ontbare;
But held the olhur, lounging,
Forever against the bhore.
The one that rests on the river
In the shaildow of leaf and tree,
V.'lth wistful eyes looks, ever
To the other far out at sea.
The one that rides the billows.
Though sailing far and fleet,
Looks buck at the peaceful river.
To the harborsufe and sweet,
One frets ngalust rho Quiet
Of the moss grown shaded shore;
One sighs that It may enter
That harbor evermore.
One wearies of the dangers
Of the toinpe&t's rage and wall,
One d renins, amid the lillles,
Of a lar oil snowy sail.
Of all that life can toach us
There'b naught so true as this
The winds of fate blew ever,
But never blew amiss.
EM.
BY KSTIIOt SERI-E KENNETH.
The Chetwynds considered their
family quite perfect aud complete
when the youngest arrived, aud so
ehe was not particularly welcome. A
girl aud quite plaiu, too. The twin
sons were very handsome, the twin
daughters very pretty. Em was look
ed upon at first as a very undesirable
addition to the family. .Later, she
was found to be useful ; finally she be
came quite" Indispensable.
Having never beeu taught to conH
Bider herself, she grew up to consider
everybody else, and this made her a
very convenient member of the house
bold. It was her especial work to attend
ber papa, nurse her invalid mamma,
cook Jack's pet dishes, serve as aman
uensis to Tom, do Grace's hair, trim
Garcia'a hats, and serve as housekeep
er to the entire family this long be
fore she was sixteen.
At this time her father died, and
the household was plunged iuto com
parative poverty.
Her mother had hysterics dally fora
month after the funeral. Jack and
Tom no longer gave the family the
support of their couuteuauces, but
rnarrlell q'ufetly and took their brides
two sisters West.
The remainder of the household re
moved from their city home to an old
farmhouse deep in the country, where
Grace could never find a new way to
do her hair up, and Garcia sulked be
cause her mourning was so unbecom
ing. Here Em was uot only housekeep
er and nurse, but literally tnaid-of-all-work.
No more uncongenial home could
possibly have been allotted to this
family. They knew nothing about
the management of a farm, which
was not strange. They had an aver
sion to their bucolic neighbors; the
domestic conveniences of the house
were most primitive, its outside as
peot rude and not even picturesque.
But it was all that was left of the
Chetwynd property, and little Em
bad oome as pioneer, and smoothed
tbe way as far as possible for the
rest.
They came and settled down to their
discontent and repmiugs. Stern ne
cessity obliged Grace and Gracia to
make some effort for their daily com
fort ; but it was very little. Upon
Em came the heat aud burden of the
day.
This was looked upon as a matter-of-course.
Did not Em know how to
cook and wash dishes? Grace had
never cook a meal or washed a dish
in her life.
Em could muke bread, trade withjj
the butcher, aud walked three miles
to the post office twice a week. Gar
cia declared that small things made
bereick.
So Em made fires, cooked meals,
did the family washing and ironing,
nursed her sisters.
The girls had each 3 lover. It was
a little strange, though Grace and
Garcia declared that Em had drab
hair, Em had nevertheless a most de
voted lover John Melvin by name
a young doctor, and as yet too poor t0
marry.
Era's sister could not reproach her
with this, for young Borden Grace's
lover and Lieutenant Egbert Gar
Cia's fiance were neither of them
rich enough to marry peuniless wives.
To do them justice, they did not, how
ever, desert the girls when they be
came poor
"We are just ruiued for life," said
Grace, when they first came to Straw
berry Farm wuy thus titled I cannot
Bay, for there wasn't a strawberry on
it "just ruined ! How can I ever be
married in style, now ?"
"For that matter I don't see how we
can be married at all," responded
Garcia. "Lleutenanl Egbert's pay
barely supports himself, and Borden
don't want to briug a wife on bis fath
er. 'Tlsn't likely!"
"Don't scold ! Oh my head my
bead!'' moaned poor Mrs. Chetwynd.
All tbe time Em was" silent, though
ber troubles were equally important
why not, she was only Em.
"There's no hope of ever getting
outof this," reiterated Garcia In a
lower tone.
"My dears," faintly essayed their
mother, "you forgot your aunt Beth-
1a.
ii
"Oh, she will leave her money to an
institution for providing nondescript
dogs with silver collars and pattent
ventilated dog kennels," cried Grace,
who was the witty one of thr family.
"I don't know why you should be
so scornful of your aunt, my dear
girls. She is eighty years old, now,
and has always tieated you civillly,
though not seeking your society.
She is feeble, and prefers seclusion
and her pets to more exacting society.
I, myself, have no doubt that she will
rememberyou both all" remember
ing Em "in her will. Now bo com
forted with that idea, and don't fret
any more to-day. It quite weais me
out."
The summer went by. Em's hands
grew hard, and her young body so
weary, that she often could not sleep
at night for the aching of her Hmbs;
but she infused into the family what
little comfort and content existed in
it, and no one complained of her lot
but John Melvin.
The three young men usually came
outon the train every Saturday night,
walked from the station, and spent
Sunday at Strawberry Farm. Mel
vin saw J3m growing thltiand pale, I
and he very well understood the rea
son. "It's too bad a burning shame.
They'll kill you among them, Em.
Why can't Grace take care of your
mother, and Garcia helpdo the house
work and sewing?"
"Garcia can't be broken of her rest
at night. Mamma always takes nour
ishment in the night, and it would be
too hard to get up. Garcia does help
a little with the house? ork, but she
don't kuow how to cook, aud don't
like to sew : it makes her side ache."
"Utnph ! Idon't suppose your side
ever aches, Em? You are made of
cast-iron, aren't you ? You look like
it. See here"! who weeded that onion
bed?"
"I did."
"I knew it. Easy, isn't it?"
"No; it's rather hard that is, to
work all the afternoon, when one's a
little tired to start with. But our
neighbor, Farmer Stebbins, advised
us to work the garden. The vegeta
bles help along with the living in the
winter. We got it planted, and I take
care of it."
"That's enough. I won't stand it,
Em ! I'm going to manage some way
to take you away out of this.''
"Oh, oh !" cried Garcia, dancing in
to the open doorway. "Aunt Beth
ia's dead, and she's provided for us all
in her will.'
"Garcia!" cried Em, starting up
and turning pale, "Garcia, don't
speak so."
"Well, I'm delighted, and there's
no use pretending anything else.
Come in and hear the letter read!"
Solhey all went into the next room.
The letter had justarrived from Penn
sylvania, where Aunt Bethia had
lived many years, though it was not
her native place. Her will had been
left in care of her lawyer, who, upon
her death, which had been uncompli
meuted by visits, at her request, had
written to her deceased brother's fam
ily informing them of the dowries.
The siugulatity was, that while they
were named, they were not respect
ively presented.
"We are to lake our choice!" cried
Garcia.
"Stop!" said Mrs. Chetwynd, lean
ing upon her pillows and reading the
letter with a Hushed face, while Em
regarded her anxiously. "It is rec
ommended that the eldest daughter
take the unimproved Pennsylvania
land. That's you, Grace."
"I won't have it," cried Grace. "I
am going to have the Gothic cottage
on the Hudson ?"
"Recommended," weut on Mrs.
Chetwynd, reading, "that the next
take the Hudsou River estate."
"Grace has that! I'm going to have
the prairie-farm and new house out
West. I'd like to go West. Jack
and Tom are doing first rate making
a fortune. Lieutenant Egbert shall
leave the army aud turn farmer he
was brought up on a farm aud I'll
keep house in the western style, and
you Bhall all come and partake of my
hospitalityonceayear!" cried Garcia,
generouslv.
"But the Western estate io recom
mended to Em," hesitated Mrs. Chet
wynd. "And those old marshy Pennsyl
vania lauds left to me !" cried Garcia
angrily.
"That is just as you and Em can
agree," interposed Mrs. Chetwynd.
"Don't get into a passion, Garcia."
They all looked at Em. She rather
than the others seemed quite suited
to be the mistress of a Western farm
house; and it certainly was a home,
and would enable the owner to mar
ry nicely ; John Melvin, too preferred
to go West for practice. Em stood si
lent and pale.
"If Em wants it. she must have it,
I suppose," said Mrs. Chetwynd.
"Yes!" cried Garcie, "and I have
nothing ! Be doomed to stay and die
inthishole! Takeit.Em. Ofcourse
you will."
Em had involuntarily rooked up at
John Melvin. He felt the delicacy of
interferring, but his momentary gaze
seemed to bid her hold her rights.
But at Garcia's stormy words she
etarted, and ber patient eyes dilated
with pain as she looked at her sister.
"No, no, Garcia; it Is harder for
you to stay here than for me. You
shall have the new house and be mar
ried. John and I can wait a while
longer.
She looked up at him cheerfully,
but he turned white with bitter dis
appointment. As for Garcia, she had
uot even the Grace to be grateful to
her sister. She only exclaimed pet
tishly :
"Wait? I could wait as well as you
if there was anything to wait for. I
am not an old maid yet, if you are
five years the 3'oungest, Em !"
Yes, that is the way they took all
her sacrifices. For Gracia, ofcourse,
took the beautiful, highly cultivated
Western home, and Em was left with
the marshes."
Grace and Garcia were married.
Neither of them offered to assume the
care of their invalid mother, who
would certainly be an invalid all her
days. They considered that Em's
work, without a doubt.
Well, the life at Strawberry Farm
was a little easier after they were
gone, certaiuly ; and often, while
finding uo better opening, John Mel
vin aud Em came to think that it
might do for a home for both, though
there were already three doctors in
the neighborhood.
At last they were married.
"I never was lucky, and there's no
use in our waiting until we are both
old and gray for our ship to come in,
John," said Em. Let us be married,
aud take what comfort we can at
Strawberry Farm. Perhaps one of
the gouty old doctors who neglect ev
erybody about here to attend to their
own ailments, may die some day, and
you find a good practice in this place
after all."
So they made the best cf a bad mat
ter. John Melvin fell to work and
cultivated the stubble-fields until
they blossomed as a rose. Em's rose
vines grew around the windows, and
her pinks and mignonette perfumed
all the air ; and the old place came to
be both profitable and pretty at last.
At length, one day, when John had
been to the post-office, he came back
with a bit of news.
"Real estate has risen, Em. Your
Pennsylvania property is worth
something now."
"How much?"
"Two or three million dollars."
"What?"
"The lands are full of oil. And here
is a letter making you a magnificent
offer for it."
It was true.
Em's ship was in at last.
A Question of Damages.
Some lawyers take very practical
views of cases iu which they are re
tained. In a certain town in Missouri
'Squire G was defending a charge
of malpractice. A colored man was
suing for damages, his wife having
died shortly afteran operation for the
removal of a cancer. When it camp
'Squire G 's turn to cross-examine
the plaintiff, he asked :
"Mr. Wilson, how old was your
wife when she died?"
"About 45. sir."
"Been in feeble health a long time,
had she not, Mr. Wilson, and cost 3'on
a great deal for medicine and help?"
"Yes, sir."
"You have married again, haveyou
not?"
"Yes, sir."
"How old is ycur present wife?"
"About 35, sir."
"Is she stoutand healthy, Mr. Wil
son ?'
"Yee, sir."
"Then, Mr. Wilson, will yon please
state to this jury how you are dam
aged in the case?"
Mr. Wilson had evidently never ta
ken this view of the matter, and could
make uo answer. The good and true
men thought he had made rather a
good thing bjT his bereavement, and
brought in a verdict for the defend
ant. Harper's Magazine for April.
"A Quarter of a Century too Late."
Tbis legislation "will no longer be
endured." The people of the North
have heard the crack of the slave
driver's whip several times before.
They ceased to be afraid of it twenty
five years ago. It is childish aud
puerile to bring the manners of the
plantation at this late day into the
Senate, or into northern journals.
The Republicans in each house and
the Republican administration, ought
to resist to the end any change of
laws by which the Democrats may be
enabled to swindle the people in the
next Presidential election. Democrat
ic disposition has been shown abund
antly in this and other cities. The
special anxiety at this time to get rid
of legal obstacles to fraud is perfectly
well understood. The resistance,
they may rest assured, will be as stub
born, as patient, aud, in the end, as
successful as the resistance which was
made to secession. Threats are a
quarter of a century too late. A7". Y.
Tribune.
One cent dining-rooms established
In New York on the cheap European
plan. Cup of tea or coffee, 1 cent;
bread and butter, 1 cent; bcfwl of
soup, I cent; slice of corned beef, 1
cent; baked beans, 1 cent. Sumpt
uous meal, 5 cents. This Is even
cheaper than the London penny
houses.
"Wherol, O God! In chnrchless lands re
maining. Far rrom all voice of teachers or divines,
My soul would find, In flowers of Thy or
daining, Priests, sermonB, shrines.
Horace Smith.
There are twenty-three republics
In the world.
Youthful Shepherds.
One pleasant day we rode twenty
miles over tbe Laramie Plains, from
Laramie City to the Little Laramie
River, where we found a prosperous
sheep-raiser from Nebraska, named
Edward Farrell. There were no
neighbors for miles around, with the
exception of a nephew of Motley, the
historian, who had left his father's
pleasant home, near Boston, Mass.,
and located a sheep ranch close by
hero. The Farrells gave us a most
hospitable reception, inasmuch as one
of our party was Mr. Weston, the Au
ditor of the State of Nebraska. Fur
thermore they had long been subscri
bers to the American Agriculturist,
and the last number lying on the ta
ble was not an unpleasant reminder
of home to one on these far-away
plains. We bade them good-bye late
in ' the afternoon, turned off to the
right of Sheep Mountain, and enter
ing a narrow plain between hih
ranges of hills, spurred forward our
jaded animals, until the gathering
shadows warned us that we could pro
ceed no further with safety. At day
break we spied a large flock of sheep
in a corral close by a rude cabin or
dug-out, in which were too boys, sons
of Mr. Farrell. Here,' twelve miles
or more from home, they had been
tending a flock of twenty-three hun
dred sheep during the, en tire season.
They shot their game with an old
rifle, did their own cooking, and lived
entirely alone with their dogs and
two ponies, employed in herding
the sheep. They alternated in watch
ing the sheep, which were driven in
to the corral every night, as a protec
tion against bears, wolves and other
wild animals. An antelope which
one of them had shot the day previ
ous, was suspended near the door of
tbecabiu. There was a good range
here, and the father had in the
spring-time sent the sheep and the
boj's to possess it. You will be sur
prised when I tell you that these two
lads, entrusted with the care of over
two thousand sheep, aud living here
in this remote, secluded spot, were
only eleven and thirteen years of age.
It is astonishing, the early self-reliance
which these frontier children
display, and the skill which, a mere
urchins, the' attain in herdingsheep.
From Editorial Correspondence of
American Agriculturist for March 1.
Xorniiiu Horses.
It is an unusual and impressive
recognition of the fact, size is not the
measure of value in tleN9.rman.
The Norman in Frauce la a horse
really valuable for work or travel,
weighing from 1,000 to 1,600 pounds.
He is perhaps the finest heavy work
horse in the world, admirably adapt
ed for our heavy uses.
But the importers seem to think
that horses are wanted for beef, and
size is the grand requisite, and so
they have sacrificed everything else
to size. Awkward, slow, clumsy
brutes of mere size, are worthless for
all p'urposes.
And their progeny, impoverished
and deformed at birth and stunted
afterwards, are often destined to early
blindness, disease and death. While
the progeny of a lithe, active, capable
Norman, v of about 14,000 pounds,
stands out in all his region as the best
of work horses.
One of the best work horses wo have
known in the West was from a Cana
dian horse, probably weighing about
1.100. He weighed about 1,400. He
was worth for work three common
horses. When eighteen years old he
was stolen by a jail-breaker and went
about twenty miles at full speed. The
next morning he was ready to go back
the same. way.
AtRockford, 111., was a family of
Normans, weighing about 1.300 or 1,
400 each, unequalled for vigor and en
durance in work. One of these that
we drove had speed enough for the
carriage and power enough for reap
ing twenty acres in a day which he
once did with his mate in ten hours
and three minutes at a reaper trial for
a premium of $1,500. None of these
horses were overgrown. For no ordi
nary use, unless for a few heavy drays
in cities is a horse improved by weigh
ing over 1,500 pounds. Exchange.
An Elegant Stale of Affairs.
Little Rock, March 29. On the
night of Sunday last the town of Fay
ptteville was entered by a mounted
band of about twenty armed men.
Several of them proceeded on foot to
the southeast corner of the public
square, where both barrels of a shot
gun, loaded with buckshot, were dis
charged iuto the window of tbe iS'e7i
tinel office. The party then mounted
deliberately by the residences of A.
P. Farmer, Reuben Carter and C. L.
Summers, into all of which they fired
with shot guns. The two parties
joined near Summers', where they re
mounted and gallopel off on the weBt
fork road. There is no doubt the par
ty was composed of the men who a
week or more ago had threatened the
town in revenge for the death of the
desperado Heed, who waa killed at
the jail.
The editor of the Mississippi South
ernStates, who so fervently "thanks
God that the confederates have cap
tured the congress of the United
States," is charged with having taken
$3,000 of the yellow fever fund sent
from the north, and spent it in gambling.
To Get Rid of House Pests.
Hot alum water is a recent suggest
ion as.an insecticide. It will destroy
red and black ants, cockroaches,
spiders, chinch bugs, and all the
crawling pests which infest our hous
es. Take two pounds of alum and
dissolve it in three or four quarts of
boiling water; let it stand on the fire
till the alum disappears; then apply
it with a brush, while nearly boiling
hot, toevery joint and crevice iu your
closets, bedsteads, pantry shelves,
aud the like. Brush the crevices in
the poor of the skirting or mop
boards, if you suspect that they har
bor vermin. If in whitewashing a
eel I ipg,. plenty of alum is added to
to the lime, ft will also serve to keep
insects at a distance. Cockroaches
willflee the paint which has been
washed in cool alum water. Sugar
barrels" and boxes can be freed from
ants by drawing a chalk mark just
around the edge of the top of them.
The mark must be unbroken, or they
will creep over it; but a continuous
chalk mark half an inch in width
will set their depredations at naught.
Powdered alum or borax will keep
the chinch bug at a respectable dist
ance, And travelers should always
carry & package in their band hags,
to scatter over and under their pil
lows, -Ih places wliere they have rea
son to suspect the presence of suoh
bed-fellows. Western Rural.
Description of a Tramp.
It was a sad looking tramp, with a
pained expression of face, that enter
ed a Sutter street bar-room the other
day, holding in his hand asmall, bat
tered red canister. "Look at this,"
he said, sorrowfully. "I went into a
gun aiicp and begged for something
to eat, and the mean man handed me
this oan of powder. He said I could
go shooting astarving man goshoot
ing. Just think of it!"
"Well, mizzie," retorted the bar
keeper, who had justsetup fourfancy
drinks for a row of customers.
"I pledge you my word," said the
vagrant, holding the can within an
inch of the open stove. "I'm so mis
erable, I've almost a mind to blow
myself up."
"Dare you do It," said one of the
bystanaers, winking at the crowd.
The wrecked party gave a sad, ling
ering look at the poured out liquor, as
that he might ne'er behold it again,
and tossed iu the can.
The yell that the whole crowd gave
as they, started for the other side of
theu-sCreat .-was heard iOU; Telegraph,
Hill. When they filed in about ten
minutes after the empty can did not
explode there were four empty glass
es on the counter, the lunch table was
an empty mockery and the till looked
like a savings bank on the day after a
really large deposit. San Francisco
Post.
The following from Hall's Journal
of Health, properly exposes aud re
futes a sophism often penetrated by
the apologists of moderate drinking :
'A glass of beer can't hurt anj'body !
Why, I know a person yonder he is
now a specimen of manly beauty, a
portly six-footer; he is one of our
merchant princes ; his face wears the
hue of youth; and now at the age of
fifty odd he has the quick elastic rtep
of our young men of tweuty-five and
none more full of wit and mirth than
he; aud I kuow he never dines with
out brandy and water, and never goes
to bed without a terrapin or oyster
supper, with plenty of champague ;
aud more than that he was never
known to be drunk. So here is a liv
ing examplar and disproof of the tem
perance twaddle about the dangerous
nature of a occasional glass, aud the
destructive effects of a temperate use
of good liquors."
'Now it so happened that this spec
imen of safe braudy-dnukiug was a
relation of ours. He died a year or
two afttr that with chronic, diarrhoea
a common end for those who are nev
er out of liquor. He left his widow a
splendid mansion up town, and a clear
five thousand a year, and a large for
tune to each of his children for he
had ships on every sea, and credit at
every counter, but which he never
bad occasion to use. For months be
for he died he was a year dying he
could eat nothing without distress;
ip the midst of his millions he died
of inanition. This is not the half,
readers. He had been a steady drik
er, and a daily drinker, for twenty
eight years. He left a legacy to his
childreu which he did not mention.
Scrofula has beeu eating up one
daughter for fifteen years; another is
in the mad-house; the third and
fourth were of unearthly beauty but
they blighted and paled, aud faded
Into heaven, we trust iu their sweet
est 'teens ; another is tottering on the
verge of the grave, aud only one of
them is left with all the senses, and
each of them Is weak as water. Tbe
doctor who talks aboutguzzling liquor
every day as being 'healthy' is a per
fect disgrace to the medical name and
ought to be tamed out to break rock
on the turnpike for the term of his
natural life, at a shilling a day, aud
find himself.'
Grace Greenwood relates as an in
stance of the extravagance of New
England humor that when a young
farmer's wife made her first boy's
pants precisely as simple before as be
hind, the farmer exclaimed : 'Good
ness! he won't know whether he's go
ing to school or coming borne.'
History of Alcohol.
Alcohol was invented 950 years ago,
by the son of a strauge woman, Hag-
er, in Arabia. Ladies used it with a
powder to paint themselves, that they
might appear more beautiful, and
this powder was called alcohol. Dur
ing the reign of William and Mary,
an act was passed encouraging the
manufacture of spirits. Soon after,
intemperance and profligacy prevail
ed to such an extent, that the retail
ers in intoxicating drinks put up
signs in public places, informing the
people that they might get drunk for
a penny, and.have'somo straw to get
sober on. In the sixteenth century,
distilled spirits spread over the conti
nent of Europe. About this time it
was introduced into tbe colonies, as
the United States were then called.
The first notice we have of Its use in
public life, was among the laborers of
tbe Hungarian mines of the fifteenth
century. In 1751, it was used by the
English soldiers as a cordial. The
alcohol In Europe was made of grapes,
and sold in Italy and Spain as medi
cine. The Genoese afterward made
from grain, and sold it as a medlcice
in battles, under the.name of the wa
ter of life. Until the 16th century it
had not been kept by the apothecaries
as a mediciue. During the reign of
Henry VII. brandy was unknown in
Ireland, and soon its alarming effect
induced the government to pass a law
prohibiting its manufacture. About
one bundled and twenty year3 ago it
waa used as a beverage, especially
among the soldiers in the English
colonies in North America, under
the preposterous notion that it pre
vented sickness, and made men fear
less on the field of battle. It was
looked upon as a sovereign specific.
Such is a brief sketch of the introduc
tion of alcohol into society as a bev
erage. The history of it is written
in the wretchedness, the tears, the
groans, the poverty and murder of
thousands. It has marched tbe land
with the tread of a giant, leaving the
impress of its footsteps in the bones,
sinews, and life'd blood of the people.
! . OH
How the Body is Built Up.
The muscle and fat of the body, re
marks the Journal of Chemistry, are
derived from the food, and animal
heat Is evolved from their combustion
or their combination with theoxygen
admitted by the lungs. When the
muscles are inactive, slow combustion
goes on ; and forevery grain of carbon
burned, a perfectly definite amount
of heat is produced. Whan the-mus-clea
contract, the combustion is
quickened, and the additional heat is
liberated in the muscles themselves.
If external work be done, as in lifting
a weight or hammering a nail, the
heat is no longer developed in the
body, but transfered to the weight
lifted or the raised hammer, and is
liberated when they, fall, and the
heat thus liberated is exactly equal to
the combustion inside the body. Thus
the body is an apparatus efficient be
yond all othera in transforming aud
distributing the energy with which it
issupplied, but it posesses no creative
power. A man weighing 150 pouuds,
by the consumption of a single grain
of carbon can lift his body to a height
of eight feet, and by the consumption
of two ounces, four drachms, twenty
grains, to a bight of ten thousand feet.
Mayer maintaius, against Liebig and
.others, that the muscles in the main
play the part of machinery, convert
ing fat into the motive power of tbe
organism. He said that neither
nerves nor brain posessed the energy
necessary to animal motion, aud be
lieved they held fast or let loose mus
cular euergy as an engineer, by the
motion of his finger in opening or
closing a valve, liberates and controls
the mechanical energy of a steam en
gine. These views are now quite
generally accepted by scientific men.
3i em
A lawyer got mad at an Oil City
client the other day, and iu the heat
of passion called him a liar. "What's
that?'' yelled the clieut. "You're a
liar," vehemently shouted the law
yer. "A liar? How is it spelled?"
"Why, double back-action ignoram
us." yelled the lawyer, in a rage, "I
spell it 1-i-a-r liar," aud he got about
ten pounds of emphasis on every let
ter. "Oh ! that's the way you spell it.
I didn't know but 'twas I-a-w-y-e-r
liar, and if it had beeii I'd a-knocked
vou into the second week 0 April,
ttnd sot down on you." Oil City Der
rick. A report ofhe superintendent of
Truancy in New York city closes
with the encouraging assertion that
the compulsory education law is
steadily lifting the children of the
streets out of the depthi of vagrancy
aud vice, and out of the clutches of
the law, and' placing them in schools
and institutions, "to be cleansed, in
structed and reformed, and made a
blessing rather than a cursa to socie
ty." A gentleman who is no longer
young, and who never was handsome,
says to a child in the presence of its
parents: "Well, my child, what do
you think of me, eh ?" Tbe little one
makes no reply, and tbe gentleman
continues: "Well, so you won't tell
me what you think "of me. Why
won't you ?" "Cause I don't want
to get licked."
mt n
The irony of the law is shown
when a blacksmith Is sentenced, for
forgery.
An IrisIunau'sjjFhilosopliy.
An Irishman is rarely at a loss fora
repl3' or an excuse, as is shown in a
conversation between a friend and
his farm servant:
'That was a good sermon, was it
not, that we heard last Sunday?"
said tbe gentfeman. :
"True for you, yer honor, an illig
antone! It done me a power of good
intirely."
"I'm glad of that. Can yoa tell
me what particularly struck you?
What waa it about?"
"Ob, well," scratching his head, "I
don't rightly not just exactly know.
I a I . A' where is the use in tell
ing lies? Sure Idon't remomberasin
gle 'dividual word of it, good or bad.
Sorra a bit of me knows what it was
about at all,"
"And yet you say it did you a pow
er of good?"
"So it did sir. I'll stick to that."
"I don't see how."
"Well, now, yer honor, look here.
There's my shirt that the wife is after
washing; and clean 'and white it is,
by reason of all the water and the
soap and the starch that's gone
through it. But not a drop of 'em all
starch, or water, or!soap or blue
has stayed In d'ye see. Aud that's
just the way wid me and that sermon.
It's run through me, yer honor, aud
it'sdried out of me; but all tbe same,
just like my Sunday shirt, I'm the
better and the cleaner after it."
There was more philosophy than
be was aware of in the quaint reason
ing of the man. An impression for
good or evil is often left upon the
mind and hears fruit, when what has
caused the influence has passed away
from our memories.
3Irs Oivciisrrnlc, of Oregon, Comes to
Lifo in Her Collin.
From tho Tortland Oregonlan.
Particulars of a very singular occur
rence have just come to light. It ap
pears that a Mrs. Owensgale, who
lives about five or six miles southwest
of this city, was taken suddenly
ill several days ago, and In a short
time died to all appearances. The re
mains gave every indication that the
vital spark had forever flown. The
friends and relatives were convinced
that the lady was dead, and prepara
tions were accordingly made for the
interment of the remains. Saturday,
the body was dressed for burial and
placed in a coffin. The friends began
to collect at the residence of the be
reaved family. Suddenly a slight
raonn-Avasheard to issue from-the
coffin in wb'ieh the body bad" but re
cently been placed. This very unex
pected noise greatly startled the
assembled neighbors and the people
wero about to rush from the room,
when the husband of the supposed
deceased lady approached the coffin
and was astonished to find tho body
moist and warm. A closer examin
ation disclosed the fact that the
woman waa breathing. Restoratives
were applied aud the supposed dead
came back to life and soon was able
to sit up and converse. It is needless
to add that the father and other mem
bers of the famiy were overjoyed to
have the wife and mother restored to
them. Singular as this circumstance
may seem, we are assured that it is
true in every particular.
-io
An Indiana man took a friend home
to tea the other evening without giv
ing his wife notice. That night she
talked herself into a paralysis of the
tongue. Now, all the men in the
neighborhood are sending for friends
and taking them home at all hours,
but the women are too sharp and re
tain a most dodged silence.
J 1W
Danbury has the champion patient
boy. He domes from a chronically
borrowing family. The other day he
went to a neighbor's for acup of sour
milk. "I haven't got anything but
sweet milk," said the womau, pettish
ly. "I'll wait till It sours," safd the
obliging youth, sinking into a chair.
Agricultural Hint to Ladies Now
is the time fo do your springsewing;
but first prepare a rich top-dressing of
3traw, ribbon, and feathers, in which
it is not too early to set out flowers
and vines. This dressing i3 impara
tive, as it makes even the cabbage
heads look well.
The laziest man has been found.
He spells photograph "4tograph."
There have been only three worse
than be. One lived in Kansas and
dated his letters "llworth ;" another
spelled Tennessee "10aC,"and anoth
er wrote Wyandotte "Y&."
"Does prohibition prohibit?" asks
an exebauge. Wedon'tknow. Now
stand still while we give you one
Does application apple? Or if you
wantan easierdne to begin on, Does
emigration Emma ? Burdelte.
It would be a capital idea in these
bedestrian matches to have tbe course
straight, so that some of the long
distrnce pedestrians might walk off
into the lava beds, suggests the New
York Express.
"Nature is full of poetry," exclaims
an enthusiastic magazine-writer.
This reminds every newspaper that
there is a mighty close resemblance
between nature and its waste-paper
basket.
Law i3 no barrier to a 'democrat
1 who smells pap. N. Y. Tribune.
Bulldozinrr In the North.
Having introduced" Ddlldozingand
all manner of intimidation at tbe
polls In tbe South, the Democrats are
making efforts to introduce the same
effective engines of corruption in the
North. The first formal attempt was
made at Kingston, N, Y., at the local
election March 4, and a special com
mittee of the State Assembly is now
investigating the cause of the disturb
ances on that day. The members of
the committee, who expected to hear
the ordinary story of the Democratic
fraud, are reported as expressing
their astonishment at the" shameful
developments. Twenty-two witness
es were examined, and hundreds
more were waiting to testify when:
the committee announced that they
had heard enough to condemn tho
bulldozers, and expressed their in
dignation at the shameful outrages
that had been perpetrated.
Kingstown, a town of about 4,000
inhabitants, has been for years at the
meroy of the lowest type of Demo
cratic bullies. A gobd'.rnortrbn of the
population is made up of quarrymeu,
employed in the stone quarries' near,
and are ignorant and quarrelsome.
All these are managed by the Demo
cratic politicians, and for yeafs they
have controlled all the offices and
have dictated the administration of
affairs.
In 1876 the Republicans of Stony
Hollow precinct Morgan ized' a cam
paign club and announced a mass
meeting. 'This aroused the Demo
cratic bullies and the meeting waa
broken up aud the Republicans driv
en to their homes. Since then tbe
reigu of the mob has been almost un
disputed uutil the local election a few
weeks ago. Then tbe better classes
of all parties united with a determin
ation to defeat the bummers and place
respectable men in office. Tbey
were met at the polls by a mob that
allowed only Democrats to vote, or
which tried to prevent all Republi
cans from voting. When a Demo
crat approached to vote, a way opened
forbim; when a Republican desired
to vote, the mob closed up and resist
ed. Men who protested were assulted,
knocked down and beaten, and final
ly the republicans were driven from
the field. Two of tbe justices aotlng
as judges resigned, refusing to coun
tence such proceedings. Tbe testi
mony shows that an organized
attempt was made to prevent tbe
opponents of the ring ticket from
voting. The mob took possession of
tbe polls, and the election was &
-faruewwPoliceman and coun'ty officers -
f we're afraid to make any show of
authority, and the men selected by
the worst elements in society jwere
declared elected.
If the mob at Kingstown can, by
the employment of the bulldozer's
tactics, secure control of the erection,
machinery at a local election, It may
do so at Congressional andPresidentl
al elections. There is this difference,
however: Under the United States
election laws, the citizens may call
for the appointment of supervisors
and deputy marshals. These would
represent both parties, but would not
be under local influence, as they are
appointed by and report to the United
States courts. Knowing that prompt
punishment would follow wrong
doing, the vicious elements would bo
more circumspect, aud would hesi
tate to interfere with legal voters.
The result would be free exercise of
the franchise, with denial of rights
to none.
But the Democrats in Congress
insist that the elecliou laws shall bo
repealed. They make this the lead
ing party question, as though tbe
repeal was necessary to their success.
Is it because they desire the rule of
the mob at the polls both Nortb and
South ? It is because they propose to
ally themselves with the worst ele
ments, both North and South, and
so want all laws that interfere with
bulldozing and practice of fraud
expunged ? If tbe laws are repealed,
the shameful scenes at Kingstown
will be repeated at hundreds of places
in 1S80. Respectable citizens will
be driveu from the polls, and tho
bullies of the Democratic party will,
by brute force, overcome majorities
against them. The Democrats know
that with the election laws in force
and with supervisors properly sup
porteluot one man entitled -to vote
will be denied a vote. They know as
well, that if the election laws are re
pealed, that the elections will ba
manipulated in the interest of bull
dozers. Inter Ocean.
Chandler Tock the Democratic
Senators by Surprise. This was
the speech of the debate. Strong as
the text may appear, the vigor, earn
estness, and boldness that attended
its delivery enhanced its effect ten
fold. The Democrats were complete
ly unprepared for such utterances.
They have been so accustomed to such
speeches during the past three or four
years that they hardly expected to
hear the like again, especially on tbe
very eve of their again resuming con
trol of the Senate.
Mr. Chandler sat down, looking de
fiantly toward tbe Democratic side of
the Chamber, and evidently anxious
that some of them would come for
ward to reply, but there was no an
swer. The Democrats remained qui'
etly seated, and stared at one another,
none being willing to cope with the
Micbigander. Cincinnati Gazette.
Every tramp Is in favor of the ate
hour- law."
!fe
