PP PP Sar-3 - ? ijH THE ADVERTISER. THE ADVERTISES o.w.r.wisBsoTnxj!, tc.iiaci:xx . FAHIBKOTHER &, HACKER, Publishers. Proprietor. ft. W. r-LUtBKOTHEB. T. C. HACfeKK. FAIRBROTEIER & HACKER, Publishers and Proprietors. ADVERTISING RATES. "Published Every Thursday Morning AT BROWNVIILE, NEBRASKA. Onelneh.one year- 1Q CO. SCO TOO Each succeeding Inch, per year. Ona Inch, per month TERMS, IN ADVANCE: Each additional Inch, per mnntn 5d ,,e5alad.rt,senie,ltsatlesal rates-Onesqnare. (lOllnesof Nonpareil. or les3)arstInsertIon.i?M. eachsntweqnenttnsertlon.SOc. rawubB",OB ! rofnTaVd"anicne8.Ienla1Vertl3einent3,a,,8t b P0' Cine wuj , - j - rirA nnv. six months X oo necoRT. tu'ree months so S3- xo papersent ftotttheofflceaatn?Md Ig. ESTABLISHED 1856. l Oldest Paper in tbe State. J BBOWNVILLE, NEBEASKATHTJESDAY, APRIL 10, 1879. VOL. 28 NO. 42. &EADIXG 3IATTE0XETERTPAGE OFFICIAL PAPER',QF THE COUNTY "nwwwmpi MaaiBMBBBBMMBWMMaMEMBMagaMBMM''"B'"MMBB,BgB"aMMBIM'TB The Winds of Fate. Two boats rocked on the river, In the bliaddow of leaf and tree; One was In love with the harbor. One was in love with the sen. The one that loved the harbor The winds of fate ontbare; But held the olhur, lounging, Forever against the bhore. The one that rests on the river In the shaildow of leaf and tree, V.'lth wistful eyes looks, ever To the other far out at sea. The one that rides the billows. Though sailing far and fleet, Looks buck at the peaceful river. To the harborsufe and sweet, One frets ngalust rho Quiet Of the moss grown shaded shore; One sighs that It may enter That harbor evermore. One wearies of the dangers Of the toinpe&t's rage and wall, One d renins, amid the lillles, Of a lar oil snowy sail. Of all that life can toach us There'b naught so true as this The winds of fate blew ever, But never blew amiss. EM. BY KSTIIOt SERI-E KENNETH. The Chetwynds considered their family quite perfect aud complete when the youngest arrived, aud so ehe was not particularly welcome. A girl aud quite plaiu, too. The twin sons were very handsome, the twin daughters very pretty. Em was look ed upon at first as a very undesirable addition to the family. .Later, she was found to be useful ; finally she be came quite" Indispensable. Having never beeu taught to conH Bider herself, she grew up to consider everybody else, and this made her a very convenient member of the house bold. It was her especial work to attend ber papa, nurse her invalid mamma, cook Jack's pet dishes, serve as aman uensis to Tom, do Grace's hair, trim Garcia'a hats, and serve as housekeep er to the entire family this long be fore she was sixteen. At this time her father died, and the household was plunged iuto com parative poverty. Her mother had hysterics dally fora month after the funeral. Jack and Tom no longer gave the family the support of their couuteuauces, but rnarrlell q'ufetly and took their brides two sisters West. The remainder of the household re moved from their city home to an old farmhouse deep in the country, where Grace could never find a new way to do her hair up, and Garcia sulked be cause her mourning was so unbecom ing. Here Em was uot only housekeep er and nurse, but literally tnaid-of-all-work. No more uncongenial home could possibly have been allotted to this family. They knew nothing about the management of a farm, which was not strange. They had an aver sion to their bucolic neighbors; the domestic conveniences of the house were most primitive, its outside as peot rude and not even picturesque. But it was all that was left of the Chetwynd property, and little Em bad oome as pioneer, and smoothed tbe way as far as possible for the rest. They came and settled down to their discontent and repmiugs. Stern ne cessity obliged Grace and Gracia to make some effort for their daily com fort ; but it was very little. Upon Em came the heat aud burden of the day. This was looked upon as a matter-of-course. Did not Em know how to cook and wash dishes? Grace had never cook a meal or washed a dish in her life. Em could muke bread, trade withjj the butcher, aud walked three miles to the post office twice a week. Gar cia declared that small things made bereick. So Em made fires, cooked meals, did the family washing and ironing, nursed her sisters. The girls had each 3 lover. It was a little strange, though Grace and Garcia declared that Em had drab hair, Em had nevertheless a most de voted lover John Melvin by name a young doctor, and as yet too poor t0 marry. Era's sister could not reproach her with this, for young Borden Grace's lover and Lieutenant Egbert Gar Cia's fiance were neither of them rich enough to marry peuniless wives. To do them justice, they did not, how ever, desert the girls when they be came poor "We are just ruiued for life," said Grace, when they first came to Straw berry Farm wuy thus titled I cannot Bay, for there wasn't a strawberry on it "just ruined ! How can I ever be married in style, now ?" "For that matter I don't see how we can be married at all," responded Garcia. "Lleutenanl Egbert's pay barely supports himself, and Borden don't want to briug a wife on bis fath er. 'Tlsn't likely!" "Don't scold ! Oh my head my bead!'' moaned poor Mrs. Chetwynd. All tbe time Em was" silent, though ber troubles were equally important why not, she was only Em. "There's no hope of ever getting outof this," reiterated Garcia In a lower tone. "My dears," faintly essayed their mother, "you forgot your aunt Beth- 1a. ii "Oh, she will leave her money to an institution for providing nondescript dogs with silver collars and pattent ventilated dog kennels," cried Grace, who was the witty one of thr family. "I don't know why you should be so scornful of your aunt, my dear girls. She is eighty years old, now, and has always tieated you civillly, though not seeking your society. She is feeble, and prefers seclusion and her pets to more exacting society. I, myself, have no doubt that she will rememberyou both all" remember ing Em "in her will. Now bo com forted with that idea, and don't fret any more to-day. It quite weais me out." The summer went by. Em's hands grew hard, and her young body so weary, that she often could not sleep at night for the aching of her Hmbs; but she infused into the family what little comfort and content existed in it, and no one complained of her lot but John Melvin. The three young men usually came outon the train every Saturday night, walked from the station, and spent Sunday at Strawberry Farm. Mel vin saw J3m growing thltiand pale, I and he very well understood the rea son. "It's too bad a burning shame. They'll kill you among them, Em. Why can't Grace take care of your mother, and Garcia helpdo the house work and sewing?" "Garcia can't be broken of her rest at night. Mamma always takes nour ishment in the night, and it would be too hard to get up. Garcia does help a little with the house? ork, but she don't kuow how to cook, aud don't like to sew : it makes her side ache." "Utnph ! Idon't suppose your side ever aches, Em? You are made of cast-iron, aren't you ? You look like it. See here"! who weeded that onion bed?" "I did." "I knew it. Easy, isn't it?" "No; it's rather hard that is, to work all the afternoon, when one's a little tired to start with. But our neighbor, Farmer Stebbins, advised us to work the garden. The vegeta bles help along with the living in the winter. We got it planted, and I take care of it." "That's enough. I won't stand it, Em ! I'm going to manage some way to take you away out of this.'' "Oh, oh !" cried Garcia, dancing in to the open doorway. "Aunt Beth ia's dead, and she's provided for us all in her will.' "Garcia!" cried Em, starting up and turning pale, "Garcia, don't speak so." "Well, I'm delighted, and there's no use pretending anything else. Come in and hear the letter read!" Solhey all went into the next room. The letter had justarrived from Penn sylvania, where Aunt Bethia had lived many years, though it was not her native place. Her will had been left in care of her lawyer, who, upon her death, which had been uncompli meuted by visits, at her request, had written to her deceased brother's fam ily informing them of the dowries. The siugulatity was, that while they were named, they were not respect ively presented. "We are to lake our choice!" cried Garcia. "Stop!" said Mrs. Chetwynd, lean ing upon her pillows and reading the letter with a Hushed face, while Em regarded her anxiously. "It is rec ommended that the eldest daughter take the unimproved Pennsylvania land. That's you, Grace." "I won't have it," cried Grace. "I am going to have the Gothic cottage on the Hudson ?" "Recommended," weut on Mrs. Chetwynd, reading, "that the next take the Hudsou River estate." "Grace has that! I'm going to have the prairie-farm and new house out West. I'd like to go West. Jack and Tom are doing first rate making a fortune. Lieutenant Egbert shall leave the army aud turn farmer he was brought up on a farm aud I'll keep house in the western style, and you Bhall all come and partake of my hospitalityonceayear!" cried Garcia, generouslv. "But the Western estate io recom mended to Em," hesitated Mrs. Chet wynd. "And those old marshy Pennsyl vania lauds left to me !" cried Garcia angrily. "That is just as you and Em can agree," interposed Mrs. Chetwynd. "Don't get into a passion, Garcia." They all looked at Em. She rather than the others seemed quite suited to be the mistress of a Western farm house; and it certainly was a home, and would enable the owner to mar ry nicely ; John Melvin, too preferred to go West for practice. Em stood si lent and pale. "If Em wants it. she must have it, I suppose," said Mrs. Chetwynd. "Yes!" cried Garcie, "and I have nothing ! Be doomed to stay and die inthishole! Takeit.Em. Ofcourse you will." Em had involuntarily rooked up at John Melvin. He felt the delicacy of interferring, but his momentary gaze seemed to bid her hold her rights. But at Garcia's stormy words she etarted, and ber patient eyes dilated with pain as she looked at her sister. "No, no, Garcia; it Is harder for you to stay here than for me. You shall have the new house and be mar ried. John and I can wait a while longer. She looked up at him cheerfully, but he turned white with bitter dis appointment. As for Garcia, she had uot even the Grace to be grateful to her sister. She only exclaimed pet tishly : "Wait? I could wait as well as you if there was anything to wait for. I am not an old maid yet, if you are five years the 3'oungest, Em !" Yes, that is the way they took all her sacrifices. For Gracia, ofcourse, took the beautiful, highly cultivated Western home, and Em was left with the marshes." Grace and Garcia were married. Neither of them offered to assume the care of their invalid mother, who would certainly be an invalid all her days. They considered that Em's work, without a doubt. Well, the life at Strawberry Farm was a little easier after they were gone, certaiuly ; and often, while finding uo better opening, John Mel vin aud Em came to think that it might do for a home for both, though there were already three doctors in the neighborhood. At last they were married. "I never was lucky, and there's no use in our waiting until we are both old and gray for our ship to come in, John," said Em. Let us be married, aud take what comfort we can at Strawberry Farm. Perhaps one of the gouty old doctors who neglect ev erybody about here to attend to their own ailments, may die some day, and you find a good practice in this place after all." So they made the best cf a bad mat ter. John Melvin fell to work and cultivated the stubble-fields until they blossomed as a rose. Em's rose vines grew around the windows, and her pinks and mignonette perfumed all the air ; and the old place came to be both profitable and pretty at last. At length, one day, when John had been to the post-office, he came back with a bit of news. "Real estate has risen, Em. Your Pennsylvania property is worth something now." "How much?" "Two or three million dollars." "What?" "The lands are full of oil. And here is a letter making you a magnificent offer for it." It was true. Em's ship was in at last. A Question of Damages. Some lawyers take very practical views of cases iu which they are re tained. In a certain town in Missouri 'Squire G was defending a charge of malpractice. A colored man was suing for damages, his wife having died shortly afteran operation for the removal of a cancer. When it camp 'Squire G 's turn to cross-examine the plaintiff, he asked : "Mr. Wilson, how old was your wife when she died?" "About 45. sir." "Been in feeble health a long time, had she not, Mr. Wilson, and cost 3'on a great deal for medicine and help?" "Yes, sir." "You have married again, haveyou not?" "Yes, sir." "How old is ycur present wife?" "About 35, sir." "Is she stoutand healthy, Mr. Wil son ?' "Yee, sir." "Then, Mr. Wilson, will yon please state to this jury how you are dam aged in the case?" Mr. Wilson had evidently never ta ken this view of the matter, and could make uo answer. The good and true men thought he had made rather a good thing bjT his bereavement, and brought in a verdict for the defend ant. Harper's Magazine for April. "A Quarter of a Century too Late." Tbis legislation "will no longer be endured." The people of the North have heard the crack of the slave driver's whip several times before. They ceased to be afraid of it twenty five years ago. It is childish aud puerile to bring the manners of the plantation at this late day into the Senate, or into northern journals. The Republicans in each house and the Republican administration, ought to resist to the end any change of laws by which the Democrats may be enabled to swindle the people in the next Presidential election. Democrat ic disposition has been shown abund antly in this and other cities. The special anxiety at this time to get rid of legal obstacles to fraud is perfectly well understood. The resistance, they may rest assured, will be as stub born, as patient, aud, in the end, as successful as the resistance which was made to secession. Threats are a quarter of a century too late. A7". Y. Tribune. One cent dining-rooms established In New York on the cheap European plan. Cup of tea or coffee, 1 cent; bread and butter, 1 cent; bcfwl of soup, I cent; slice of corned beef, 1 cent; baked beans, 1 cent. Sumpt uous meal, 5 cents. This Is even cheaper than the London penny houses. "Wherol, O God! In chnrchless lands re maining. Far rrom all voice of teachers or divines, My soul would find, In flowers of Thy or daining, Priests, sermonB, shrines. Horace Smith. There are twenty-three republics In the world. Youthful Shepherds. One pleasant day we rode twenty miles over tbe Laramie Plains, from Laramie City to the Little Laramie River, where we found a prosperous sheep-raiser from Nebraska, named Edward Farrell. There were no neighbors for miles around, with the exception of a nephew of Motley, the historian, who had left his father's pleasant home, near Boston, Mass., and located a sheep ranch close by hero. The Farrells gave us a most hospitable reception, inasmuch as one of our party was Mr. Weston, the Au ditor of the State of Nebraska. Fur thermore they had long been subscri bers to the American Agriculturist, and the last number lying on the ta ble was not an unpleasant reminder of home to one on these far-away plains. We bade them good-bye late in ' the afternoon, turned off to the right of Sheep Mountain, and enter ing a narrow plain between hih ranges of hills, spurred forward our jaded animals, until the gathering shadows warned us that we could pro ceed no further with safety. At day break we spied a large flock of sheep in a corral close by a rude cabin or dug-out, in which were too boys, sons of Mr. Farrell. Here,' twelve miles or more from home, they had been tending a flock of twenty-three hun dred sheep during the, en tire season. They shot their game with an old rifle, did their own cooking, and lived entirely alone with their dogs and two ponies, employed in herding the sheep. They alternated in watch ing the sheep, which were driven in to the corral every night, as a protec tion against bears, wolves and other wild animals. An antelope which one of them had shot the day previ ous, was suspended near the door of tbecabiu. There was a good range here, and the father had in the spring-time sent the sheep and the boj's to possess it. You will be sur prised when I tell you that these two lads, entrusted with the care of over two thousand sheep, aud living here in this remote, secluded spot, were only eleven and thirteen years of age. It is astonishing, the early self-reliance which these frontier children display, and the skill which, a mere urchins, the' attain in herdingsheep. From Editorial Correspondence of American Agriculturist for March 1. Xorniiiu Horses. It is an unusual and impressive recognition of the fact, size is not the measure of value in tleN9.rman. The Norman in Frauce la a horse really valuable for work or travel, weighing from 1,000 to 1,600 pounds. He is perhaps the finest heavy work horse in the world, admirably adapt ed for our heavy uses. But the importers seem to think that horses are wanted for beef, and size is the grand requisite, and so they have sacrificed everything else to size. Awkward, slow, clumsy brutes of mere size, are worthless for all p'urposes. And their progeny, impoverished and deformed at birth and stunted afterwards, are often destined to early blindness, disease and death. While the progeny of a lithe, active, capable Norman, v of about 14,000 pounds, stands out in all his region as the best of work horses. One of the best work horses wo have known in the West was from a Cana dian horse, probably weighing about 1.100. He weighed about 1,400. He was worth for work three common horses. When eighteen years old he was stolen by a jail-breaker and went about twenty miles at full speed. The next morning he was ready to go back the same. way. AtRockford, 111., was a family of Normans, weighing about 1.300 or 1, 400 each, unequalled for vigor and en durance in work. One of these that we drove had speed enough for the carriage and power enough for reap ing twenty acres in a day which he once did with his mate in ten hours and three minutes at a reaper trial for a premium of $1,500. None of these horses were overgrown. For no ordi nary use, unless for a few heavy drays in cities is a horse improved by weigh ing over 1,500 pounds. Exchange. An Elegant Stale of Affairs. Little Rock, March 29. On the night of Sunday last the town of Fay ptteville was entered by a mounted band of about twenty armed men. Several of them proceeded on foot to the southeast corner of the public square, where both barrels of a shot gun, loaded with buckshot, were dis charged iuto the window of tbe iS'e7i tinel office. The party then mounted deliberately by the residences of A. P. Farmer, Reuben Carter and C. L. Summers, into all of which they fired with shot guns. The two parties joined near Summers', where they re mounted and gallopel off on the weBt fork road. There is no doubt the par ty was composed of the men who a week or more ago had threatened the town in revenge for the death of the desperado Heed, who waa killed at the jail. The editor of the Mississippi South ernStates, who so fervently "thanks God that the confederates have cap tured the congress of the United States," is charged with having taken $3,000 of the yellow fever fund sent from the north, and spent it in gambling. To Get Rid of House Pests. Hot alum water is a recent suggest ion as.an insecticide. It will destroy red and black ants, cockroaches, spiders, chinch bugs, and all the crawling pests which infest our hous es. Take two pounds of alum and dissolve it in three or four quarts of boiling water; let it stand on the fire till the alum disappears; then apply it with a brush, while nearly boiling hot, toevery joint and crevice iu your closets, bedsteads, pantry shelves, aud the like. Brush the crevices in the poor of the skirting or mop boards, if you suspect that they har bor vermin. If in whitewashing a eel I ipg,. plenty of alum is added to to the lime, ft will also serve to keep insects at a distance. Cockroaches willflee the paint which has been washed in cool alum water. Sugar barrels" and boxes can be freed from ants by drawing a chalk mark just around the edge of the top of them. The mark must be unbroken, or they will creep over it; but a continuous chalk mark half an inch in width will set their depredations at naught. Powdered alum or borax will keep the chinch bug at a respectable dist ance, And travelers should always carry & package in their band hags, to scatter over and under their pil lows, -Ih places wliere they have rea son to suspect the presence of suoh bed-fellows. Western Rural. Description of a Tramp. It was a sad looking tramp, with a pained expression of face, that enter ed a Sutter street bar-room the other day, holding in his hand asmall, bat tered red canister. "Look at this," he said, sorrowfully. "I went into a gun aiicp and begged for something to eat, and the mean man handed me this oan of powder. He said I could go shooting astarving man goshoot ing. Just think of it!" "Well, mizzie," retorted the bar keeper, who had justsetup fourfancy drinks for a row of customers. "I pledge you my word," said the vagrant, holding the can within an inch of the open stove. "I'm so mis erable, I've almost a mind to blow myself up." "Dare you do It," said one of the bystanaers, winking at the crowd. The wrecked party gave a sad, ling ering look at the poured out liquor, as that he might ne'er behold it again, and tossed iu the can. The yell that the whole crowd gave as they, started for the other side of theu-sCreat .-was heard iOU; Telegraph, Hill. When they filed in about ten minutes after the empty can did not explode there were four empty glass es on the counter, the lunch table was an empty mockery and the till looked like a savings bank on the day after a really large deposit. San Francisco Post. The following from Hall's Journal of Health, properly exposes aud re futes a sophism often penetrated by the apologists of moderate drinking : 'A glass of beer can't hurt anj'body ! Why, I know a person yonder he is now a specimen of manly beauty, a portly six-footer; he is one of our merchant princes ; his face wears the hue of youth; and now at the age of fifty odd he has the quick elastic rtep of our young men of tweuty-five and none more full of wit and mirth than he; aud I kuow he never dines with out brandy and water, and never goes to bed without a terrapin or oyster supper, with plenty of champague ; aud more than that he was never known to be drunk. So here is a liv ing examplar and disproof of the tem perance twaddle about the dangerous nature of a occasional glass, aud the destructive effects of a temperate use of good liquors." 'Now it so happened that this spec imen of safe braudy-dnukiug was a relation of ours. He died a year or two afttr that with chronic, diarrhoea a common end for those who are nev er out of liquor. He left his widow a splendid mansion up town, and a clear five thousand a year, and a large for tune to each of his children for he had ships on every sea, and credit at every counter, but which he never bad occasion to use. For months be for he died he was a year dying he could eat nothing without distress; ip the midst of his millions he died of inanition. This is not the half, readers. He had been a steady drik er, and a daily drinker, for twenty eight years. He left a legacy to his childreu which he did not mention. Scrofula has beeu eating up one daughter for fifteen years; another is in the mad-house; the third and fourth were of unearthly beauty but they blighted and paled, aud faded Into heaven, we trust iu their sweet est 'teens ; another is tottering on the verge of the grave, aud only one of them is left with all the senses, and each of them Is weak as water. Tbe doctor who talks aboutguzzling liquor every day as being 'healthy' is a per fect disgrace to the medical name and ought to be tamed out to break rock on the turnpike for the term of his natural life, at a shilling a day, aud find himself.' Grace Greenwood relates as an in stance of the extravagance of New England humor that when a young farmer's wife made her first boy's pants precisely as simple before as be hind, the farmer exclaimed : 'Good ness! he won't know whether he's go ing to school or coming borne.' History of Alcohol. Alcohol was invented 950 years ago, by the son of a strauge woman, Hag- er, in Arabia. Ladies used it with a powder to paint themselves, that they might appear more beautiful, and this powder was called alcohol. Dur ing the reign of William and Mary, an act was passed encouraging the manufacture of spirits. Soon after, intemperance and profligacy prevail ed to such an extent, that the retail ers in intoxicating drinks put up signs in public places, informing the people that they might get drunk for a penny, and.have'somo straw to get sober on. In the sixteenth century, distilled spirits spread over the conti nent of Europe. About this time it was introduced into tbe colonies, as the United States were then called. The first notice we have of Its use in public life, was among the laborers of tbe Hungarian mines of the fifteenth century. In 1751, it was used by the English soldiers as a cordial. The alcohol In Europe was made of grapes, and sold in Italy and Spain as medi cine. The Genoese afterward made from grain, and sold it as a medlcice in battles, under the.name of the wa ter of life. Until the 16th century it had not been kept by the apothecaries as a mediciue. During the reign of Henry VII. brandy was unknown in Ireland, and soon its alarming effect induced the government to pass a law prohibiting its manufacture. About one bundled and twenty year3 ago it waa used as a beverage, especially among the soldiers in the English colonies in North America, under the preposterous notion that it pre vented sickness, and made men fear less on the field of battle. It was looked upon as a sovereign specific. Such is a brief sketch of the introduc tion of alcohol into society as a bev erage. The history of it is written in the wretchedness, the tears, the groans, the poverty and murder of thousands. It has marched tbe land with the tread of a giant, leaving the impress of its footsteps in the bones, sinews, and life'd blood of the people. ! . OH How the Body is Built Up. The muscle and fat of the body, re marks the Journal of Chemistry, are derived from the food, and animal heat Is evolved from their combustion or their combination with theoxygen admitted by the lungs. When the muscles are inactive, slow combustion goes on ; and forevery grain of carbon burned, a perfectly definite amount of heat is produced. Whan the-mus-clea contract, the combustion is quickened, and the additional heat is liberated in the muscles themselves. If external work be done, as in lifting a weight or hammering a nail, the heat is no longer developed in the body, but transfered to the weight lifted or the raised hammer, and is liberated when they, fall, and the heat thus liberated is exactly equal to the combustion inside the body. Thus the body is an apparatus efficient be yond all othera in transforming aud distributing the energy with which it issupplied, but it posesses no creative power. A man weighing 150 pouuds, by the consumption of a single grain of carbon can lift his body to a height of eight feet, and by the consumption of two ounces, four drachms, twenty grains, to a bight of ten thousand feet. Mayer maintaius, against Liebig and .others, that the muscles in the main play the part of machinery, convert ing fat into the motive power of tbe organism. He said that neither nerves nor brain posessed the energy necessary to animal motion, aud be lieved they held fast or let loose mus cular euergy as an engineer, by the motion of his finger in opening or closing a valve, liberates and controls the mechanical energy of a steam en gine. These views are now quite generally accepted by scientific men. 3i em A lawyer got mad at an Oil City client the other day, and iu the heat of passion called him a liar. "What's that?'' yelled the clieut. "You're a liar," vehemently shouted the law yer. "A liar? How is it spelled?" "Why, double back-action ignoram us." yelled the lawyer, in a rage, "I spell it 1-i-a-r liar," aud he got about ten pounds of emphasis on every let ter. "Oh ! that's the way you spell it. I didn't know but 'twas I-a-w-y-e-r liar, and if it had beeii I'd a-knocked vou into the second week 0 April, ttnd sot down on you." Oil City Der rick. A report ofhe superintendent of Truancy in New York city closes with the encouraging assertion that the compulsory education law is steadily lifting the children of the streets out of the depthi of vagrancy aud vice, and out of the clutches of the law, and' placing them in schools and institutions, "to be cleansed, in structed and reformed, and made a blessing rather than a cursa to socie ty." A gentleman who is no longer young, and who never was handsome, says to a child in the presence of its parents: "Well, my child, what do you think of me, eh ?" Tbe little one makes no reply, and tbe gentleman continues: "Well, so you won't tell me what you think "of me. Why won't you ?" "Cause I don't want to get licked." mt n The irony of the law is shown when a blacksmith Is sentenced, for forgery. An IrisIunau'sjjFhilosopliy. An Irishman is rarely at a loss fora repl3' or an excuse, as is shown in a conversation between a friend and his farm servant: 'That was a good sermon, was it not, that we heard last Sunday?" said tbe gentfeman. : "True for you, yer honor, an illig antone! It done me a power of good intirely." "I'm glad of that. Can yoa tell me what particularly struck you? What waa it about?" "Ob, well," scratching his head, "I don't rightly not just exactly know. I a I . A' where is the use in tell ing lies? Sure Idon't remomberasin gle 'dividual word of it, good or bad. Sorra a bit of me knows what it was about at all," "And yet you say it did you a pow er of good?" "So it did sir. I'll stick to that." "I don't see how." "Well, now, yer honor, look here. There's my shirt that the wife is after washing; and clean 'and white it is, by reason of all the water and the soap and the starch that's gone through it. But not a drop of 'em all starch, or water, or!soap or blue has stayed In d'ye see. Aud that's just the way wid me and that sermon. It's run through me, yer honor, aud it'sdried out of me; but all tbe same, just like my Sunday shirt, I'm the better and the cleaner after it." There was more philosophy than be was aware of in the quaint reason ing of the man. An impression for good or evil is often left upon the mind and hears fruit, when what has caused the influence has passed away from our memories. 3Irs Oivciisrrnlc, of Oregon, Comes to Lifo in Her Collin. From tho Tortland Oregonlan. Particulars of a very singular occur rence have just come to light. It ap pears that a Mrs. Owensgale, who lives about five or six miles southwest of this city, was taken suddenly ill several days ago, and In a short time died to all appearances. The re mains gave every indication that the vital spark had forever flown. The friends and relatives were convinced that the lady was dead, and prepara tions were accordingly made for the interment of the remains. Saturday, the body was dressed for burial and placed in a coffin. The friends began to collect at the residence of the be reaved family. Suddenly a slight raonn-Avasheard to issue from-the coffin in wb'ieh the body bad" but re cently been placed. This very unex pected noise greatly startled the assembled neighbors and the people wero about to rush from the room, when the husband of the supposed deceased lady approached the coffin and was astonished to find tho body moist and warm. A closer examin ation disclosed the fact that the woman waa breathing. Restoratives were applied aud the supposed dead came back to life and soon was able to sit up and converse. It is needless to add that the father and other mem bers of the famiy were overjoyed to have the wife and mother restored to them. Singular as this circumstance may seem, we are assured that it is true in every particular. -io An Indiana man took a friend home to tea the other evening without giv ing his wife notice. That night she talked herself into a paralysis of the tongue. Now, all the men in the neighborhood are sending for friends and taking them home at all hours, but the women are too sharp and re tain a most dodged silence. J 1W Danbury has the champion patient boy. He domes from a chronically borrowing family. The other day he went to a neighbor's for acup of sour milk. "I haven't got anything but sweet milk," said the womau, pettish ly. "I'll wait till It sours," safd the obliging youth, sinking into a chair. Agricultural Hint to Ladies Now is the time fo do your springsewing; but first prepare a rich top-dressing of 3traw, ribbon, and feathers, in which it is not too early to set out flowers and vines. This dressing i3 impara tive, as it makes even the cabbage heads look well. The laziest man has been found. He spells photograph "4tograph." There have been only three worse than be. One lived in Kansas and dated his letters "llworth ;" another spelled Tennessee "10aC,"and anoth er wrote Wyandotte "Y&." "Does prohibition prohibit?" asks an exebauge. Wedon'tknow. Now stand still while we give you one Does application apple? Or if you wantan easierdne to begin on, Does emigration Emma ? Burdelte. It would be a capital idea in these bedestrian matches to have tbe course straight, so that some of the long distrnce pedestrians might walk off into the lava beds, suggests the New York Express. "Nature is full of poetry," exclaims an enthusiastic magazine-writer. This reminds every newspaper that there is a mighty close resemblance between nature and its waste-paper basket. Law i3 no barrier to a 'democrat 1 who smells pap. N. Y. Tribune. Bulldozinrr In the North. Having introduced" Ddlldozingand all manner of intimidation at tbe polls In tbe South, the Democrats are making efforts to introduce the same effective engines of corruption in the North. The first formal attempt was made at Kingston, N, Y., at the local election March 4, and a special com mittee of the State Assembly is now investigating the cause of the disturb ances on that day. The members of the committee, who expected to hear the ordinary story of the Democratic fraud, are reported as expressing their astonishment at the" shameful developments. Twenty-two witness es were examined, and hundreds more were waiting to testify when: the committee announced that they had heard enough to condemn tho bulldozers, and expressed their in dignation at the shameful outrages that had been perpetrated. Kingstown, a town of about 4,000 inhabitants, has been for years at the meroy of the lowest type of Demo cratic bullies. A gobd'.rnortrbn of the population is made up of quarrymeu, employed in the stone quarries' near, and are ignorant and quarrelsome. All these are managed by the Demo cratic politicians, and for yeafs they have controlled all the offices and have dictated the administration of affairs. In 1876 the Republicans of Stony Hollow precinct Morgan ized' a cam paign club and announced a mass meeting. 'This aroused the Demo cratic bullies and the meeting waa broken up aud the Republicans driv en to their homes. Since then tbe reigu of the mob has been almost un disputed uutil the local election a few weeks ago. Then tbe better classes of all parties united with a determin ation to defeat the bummers and place respectable men in office. Tbey were met at the polls by a mob that allowed only Democrats to vote, or which tried to prevent all Republi cans from voting. When a Demo crat approached to vote, a way opened forbim; when a Republican desired to vote, the mob closed up and resist ed. Men who protested were assulted, knocked down and beaten, and final ly the republicans were driven from the field. Two of tbe justices aotlng as judges resigned, refusing to coun tence such proceedings. Tbe testi mony shows that an organized attempt was made to prevent tbe opponents of the ring ticket from voting. The mob took possession of tbe polls, and the election was & -faruewwPoliceman and coun'ty officers - f we're afraid to make any show of authority, and the men selected by the worst elements in society jwere declared elected. If the mob at Kingstown can, by the employment of the bulldozer's tactics, secure control of the erection, machinery at a local election, It may do so at Congressional andPresidentl al elections. There is this difference, however: Under the United States election laws, the citizens may call for the appointment of supervisors and deputy marshals. These would represent both parties, but would not be under local influence, as they are appointed by and report to the United States courts. Knowing that prompt punishment would follow wrong doing, the vicious elements would bo more circumspect, aud would hesi tate to interfere with legal voters. The result would be free exercise of the franchise, with denial of rights to none. But the Democrats in Congress insist that the elecliou laws shall bo repealed. They make this the lead ing party question, as though tbe repeal was necessary to their success. Is it because they desire the rule of the mob at the polls both Nortb and South ? It is because they propose to ally themselves with the worst ele ments, both North and South, and so want all laws that interfere with bulldozing and practice of fraud expunged ? If tbe laws are repealed, the shameful scenes at Kingstown will be repeated at hundreds of places in 1S80. Respectable citizens will be driveu from the polls, and tho bullies of the Democratic party will, by brute force, overcome majorities against them. The Democrats know that with the election laws in force and with supervisors properly sup porteluot one man entitled -to vote will be denied a vote. They know as well, that if the election laws are re pealed, that the elections will ba manipulated in the interest of bull dozers. Inter Ocean. Chandler Tock the Democratic Senators by Surprise. This was the speech of the debate. Strong as the text may appear, the vigor, earn estness, and boldness that attended its delivery enhanced its effect ten fold. The Democrats were complete ly unprepared for such utterances. They have been so accustomed to such speeches during the past three or four years that they hardly expected to hear the like again, especially on tbe very eve of their again resuming con trol of the Senate. Mr. Chandler sat down, looking de fiantly toward tbe Democratic side of the Chamber, and evidently anxious that some of them would come for ward to reply, but there was no an swer. The Democrats remained qui' etly seated, and stared at one another, none being willing to cope with the Micbigander. Cincinnati Gazette. Every tramp Is in favor of the ate hour- law." !fe