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DECEMBER 22, 1911
The Commoner.
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Matamoras, Mexico, December 10.
Wemoaning, the Little Woman
and myself donned our seven
league boots and stepped back about
150 years today. It wasn't such 'a
long step either. At Brownsville,
Texas, the place made famous by a
certain little shooting bee indulged
inby some colored troopers of Uncle
aam s, we found a thriving, stirring
little city inhabited by "thoroughly
' progressive Americans. Just across
' , the. io "Grande jiver we found a
ctty of about the same size that is
' rio further . advanced in civilization
-than it was 160 years ago and it
. 'j. was. a mighty .medevial old place
. " then. "
C V.VV 'We were ferried " across the his-
- K. toric Rio Grande in a skiff chris-
. - ym tened "Theodore Roosevelt" by a
Mexican whose command of the
,.-- ;' 'English language was confined to
. .. ,the words, "thred, centavos, Ameri-
. '. cano." He meant that we Jiad to
h-b, -'.-rdis up, three American pennies, or
- .Tsix Mexican pennies if we wanted
C'2-: to rIde witn him. We dug the "three
; ;'-5 .centavos Americano" or rather I
'" ,:. dllC twinA nnrl wo wava Knnmi
-4-T; -across. On the Mexican side we
& hoarded a street car propelled by
" mule power. That is, the car was
'N nauled by a, mule about as large as
a weorasica jack rabbit, but ,a swart
.Mexican, with, a -blacksnake whip
exerted more Mexican power on the
mule than the mule exerted mule
power on the car. After noting the
brutality displayed by that Mexican
'driver I was sorry a bullfight was
not scheduled for that day, because
I wanted to see a bulk make three
or four good Mexicans. But there
was no bullfight on,, so we had to
- extract what comfort we could by
"- loudly expressing our opinion of the
..,f driver. Gf course he didn't under
" J ,' stand a word we said, and smiled as
v -;:.' " If we were paying him a compliment.
;-J. '.- If 'that mule driver is a fair sample
.yi7.'- of the average Mexican, the worst
thing we could say about him would
really be complimentary. I was told
that a few weeks before one of thpse
mules kicked a driver to death in
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W". HHq feed lot. I offered mv infor-
f'mant a dollar for the proof and a
-jy." fsight of the mule, but he couldn't
Wi, produce. He offered to show me
$iP-. where the driver was "buried, but T
... jjE'."" wasn't interested in him. I was
??t? -'.thinking only of presenting the "mule
lC' with- a medal.
$S Matamoras is populated by beg-
i.-is' gars and souvenir sellers. I saw
but two Mexicans toaay mat i
thought would refuse a "centavos."
One was the mayor alcalde they
call him who was a very courteous
gentleman who spoke good English
and who had spent some years in
tHe United States in connection with
the Mexican embassy. To him we
are indebted for several favors. The
other was a handsome young woman
who is a teacher in a mission Bchool.
. She had her little pupils sing several
songs for us, two or three of .which
were familiar as to tune but wholly
Without meaning as to language. I
"asked her if her pupils could sing
"America" and she said they could
. not. Then she asked us to sing It.
The Little Woman started off and I
and several of our, companions
joined in. Before we were fairly
started that teacher Jumped at a
pocket edition of a melodeon and
- played the. air for, ns. As we left
the school room the pupils shouted
something that sounded like Viva
Americano!' We were told that
fuch mission schools, were not , un
binmTm, hut I am 'of the opinion
that about a million such would bo
needed to lift Mexico up far enough
to get wltfifn hailing distance of the
United States in point of education.
Of course, we went to the ceme
tery and saw how Mexicans are
buried. It may sound brutal, but we
really enjoyed that. I tried to locate
the graves of some mule drivers but
Was Unsuccessful. Thin mnrrnfl Mia
pleasure of the visit somewhat, but I
solaced myself with the thought that
even Mexican mule drivers must die
sometime, therefore it was a cinch
that the cemetery contained some.
There was no bull fight on, but we
went to the bull pen. I wouldn't
witness a bull fight unless assured
that the bull would get a few of his
tormentors, but he never does.
You'll never catch a Mexican giving
a bull any show at all.
On our way back to town from
the cemetery we passed the barracks."
It was full of soldiers, and a half
dozen patrolled up and down in
front of the open gates, I attempted
to walk right in but was halted by
a gentleman with enough gold braid
and feathers on him to make him
look like a colonel on some gover
nor's staff: He" was a lieutenant, I
learned afterwards. In excited
Spanish he erupted a long string of
words which! didn't understand, but
tooRT from .his signs that I couldn't
go in. I wasn't feeling very spry so
I didn't undertake to whip the whole
garrison and go in anyhow. I'll do
that the next time I go .down. But
I did do a little vocal erupting my
self, confident "tnat "ho couldn't un
derstand me any bettor than I under
stood him. I told him just what I
thought of him and his whole bunch
of imitation warriors, and ended by
promising to send a couple of my
Irish friends from Lincoln some day
to whip the whole Mexican army.
Then I tossed a handful of Mexican
pennies through the barracks gate,
and blest if that gorgeous lieutenant
didn't scramble fo.r them just like
the private soldiers. I've been mad
about it .ever since because he actu
ally got three or. four of them.
Of course the Little Woman
.dragged me around where she could
purchase some Mexican drawn work.
Every Mexican woman executes
drawn work, therefore we had no
trouble in finding it. We also bought
some decorated pottery,, a cane for
the Little Woman's father and some
other things. ' In ?act I looked like
a walking delivery outfit when wo
boarded the mule power car to re
turn to Brownsville. The. same swart
Mexican ferried us back and th-i
trouble began. "As we walked up the
narrow walk from the river bank to
tlxe top of the bluff, a gentleman clad
in high boots, adorned with spurs
and other habiliments of course,
walked down to meet us. He polite
ly poked his finger into one or two
or my bundles anfl then waved me
towards a small frame building over
which flew the flag of Uncle Sam.
Of course I tumbled. I was going
to pay tribute. I was trying to Im
port some pauper made goods, and
Uncle Sam wonft stand for that you
know. A gentleman clad in a blue
uniform bedecked with brass buttons
impertinently poked into all my
bundles, asked me a lot of insolent
questions, then coldly Informed me
that I owed Uncle Sam a lot of
money, and if I didn't pay he'dtake
the whole smear I'd brought over.
Having lugged most of it around all
day I was rather attached to it, so
r Laa mi to Uncle Sam. Then
I backed off theporch of the customs'
house until assured I was not on
government property, then proceeded
to mako a red hot free trade speech
which was loudly cheered by a big
bunch of fellow sufferers who had
been caught as I was.
But I had one satisfaction. Walter
George, treasurer of Mm irmnf ant
of Nebraska by virtue of republican
votes and his own pleasing person
ality, had to stand and dolivor ao I
had done. The fun of it was that
on the way down ho and I had talked
tariff a little and ho assured mo that
the tariff wasn't intended to dis
commode such people as ourselves,
but to get the big importers. George
bought a couple of pin trays in Ma
tamoras. Ho paid IT) cents each for
them. Uncle Sam made Mm dig up
45 cents duty on them whereat I
applauded vigorously. Tho porter of
our sleeping car bought a quart of
something good for what ailed him,
but Uncle Sam confiscated it. I am
afraid that colored gentleman is not
so good a republican as ho was a
week or ten days ago. Ho shows
signs of talking about that confisca
tion all the way homo.
. Thero was some excitement in
Brownsville while wo were there.
Some of Uncle Sam's sleuths wero
looking for General Reyes, who was
reported as having dodged across
from Mexico. Later it was learned
that Reyes had played a cute trick.
Ho pretended to slip across into tho
States but roally scuttled off into tho
interior with a band of lnsurrectos
and performed a few stunts of pil
laging. Any man with a dozen anti
quated old Springfield muskets, a
few dingy forage caps and sevon
dollars in United States money can
start an- insurrection In Mexico. I
went back across tho river with a
government agent, and "assisted"
him in quizzing some of tho Mata
morans. That is, ho talked Spanish
to thorn -while I stood by hl, tddo and
looked wise and fierce. Then I came
back. This is written under a Mata
moras date lino, but I am really writ
ing it while speeding northward in
a Pullman car. But it sounds bigger
to date a letter from a foreign coun
try. If filth and dirt makes a Mexican
happy, then these Matamorans must
be the happiest people on earth, for
they certainly are the dirtiest and
the filthiest I ever saw. All day
we were followed by a horde of
dirty, half-naked children, all plead
ing for "centavos." The only good
things wo saw were the plazas. They
are pretty and well kept, and every
summer evening the bands play. The
only clean and neat house wo saw
was that of tho alcalde, and he has
been in the States so much and so
long that he has acquired some of
our habits. Having seen this little
bit of Mexico I am puzzled to under
stand why President Diaz exhibited
so much regret over having been
banished.
But the little Woman says the
clatter of my typewriter is keeping
everybody awake, so I'll quit. But
I do wish I could, Deforo I quit,
chronicle the sudden and merited
death of that Mexican mule driver.
MAUPIN.
Brain Leaks
The trouble with a lot of "old
saws" is that they need re-sharpen-
lng. ....
Appearances aro deceitrui. .sk
anybody who ever purchased a gold
brick
For every gossip there is at least
ono listener, else there would be no
gossiping.
' The real value oi me junu,iuao
crift Is not in the gift but in the
heart of the giver.
Poiinn nnlrt fnr mav not look BO
well but it certainly feels more com
fortable than siiK not pam ior.
tc7ia th hlErfr water mark -gets
three inches; above-a hoy's wrist, it
KAhilBh, (t,m that some girl'o mothor
bo looking him up.
Soomingly it is tho "fall season"
for aviators at all times of tho year-
ARIZONA TO ALABAMA
-Bisbeo, Ariz. Editor Tho Com
moner: I was so ploasod to hoc tho
letter of Mr. Bellanuoo in Th r?nm-
moner that I could not help writing
mm my approval and lotting him
know ho pleased an Arizona demo
crat was with tho sentiments that
ho expressed. From tho howl of tho
politicians in congress that wont up
In behalf of Mr. Underwood (accord
ing to our Information from tho
Associated Prosa, which never lies),
wo, away out hero In Arizona, had
presumed that ho at loam had cap
tured all of tho democrats of his
own state; so groat is our rojololng
when wo loarn that some havo
escapod him and rofutco to bo led"
astray by his shout of dictator. I
enclose a copy of tho letter to Mr.
Bellangeo. Very truly yours,
M. J. BROWN.,
Bisbeo, Ariz. J. Bollangoo, Esq.,
Fairhopo, Ala. My Dear Sir: I"
Just read with much pleasuro-your
lotter to tho editor of "Tho Register"
and published in Tho Commoner,
wherein you discuss with ho much
forco and aptltudo tho position that
Mr. Underwood has taken against
Mr. Bryan. I am particularly glad
to seo this sentiment expressed by
an Alabama democrat, tho stato
whero my happiest boyhood days,
wore spent; also, Mr. Underwood's
own stato.
I glory in your sentiments and I
am glad to know that Mr. Underwodil
has not been ablo to turn tho Ala
bama democrats from Mr. Bryan by
shouting dictator and all of the othor
tommyrot that ho, along with othora
that aro falsely bearing the demo
cratic label, havo vomited forth upon
tho great champion of democracy
and the whole peoplo. Who is thero
In this groat country of ours that has
a better right to speak forth to tho
democratic party than has Mr.
Bryan? What democrat is thero in
tho country that has done half as
much for tho party and tho citizens
of the United States as has Bryan?
Therefore, I say ho has a right to
speak, no ono has a bettor right, and
when ho speaks tho democratic party
would do well to listen attentively
and follow his advice as obediently
as tho good child obeys the com
mands of a loving parent. Bryan is
the greatest, and in his private and
public life one of the best men that
tho United States numbers amongst
her citizens today. He enjoy a
remarkable distinction, not shared
in by any of our other great men of
today that of always being right.
I have followed him for many years
and I am utterly unable to recall a
mistake that he has made in matters
political. This should give his utter
ances and advice a greater" weight
with tho people of our country than
that of any other living man. Who
is, and has been, a more consistent
adversary of tho predatory -interests
that are exploiting our country and
damning hor glorious institutions
than our great champion? Who has
been more abused, maligned and
excoriated by these Interests than
has Bryan? Who deserves more from
the American people? To abuse and
sbipder Bryan Is to exhibit a most
contemptible and dangerous brand
of democracy.
With Taft on the ono side and
Harmon on the other, the issues
would by no means be clearly drawn,
tho vote would be badly mixed, the
voters confused as to the real Issues,
with tho probability of tho demo
cratic party and the peoplo losing,
and with Harmon as the standard
bearer, or any other man of his ilk,
the party would deserve defeat. With
slncerest regards,' I am, very truly
yours " M. J. BROWN., .
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