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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 22, 1907)
NOVEMBER 22, 1907 The Commoner. 13 - i " , Financial Advice If you get a cashier's check, Pass it on! Don't imagine you're a wreck Pass it on! Confidence is all you need; To "hard luck" tales give no heed; Keep 'em moving at full, speed-: Pass it on! When you get one, pay a hill; Pass it on! They're no good when standing still, Pass it on! While it pays car fare and rents Show your share of commonsense And your stock of confidence Pass it on! Nothing Strahgo "I see hy the paper that a Chi cago man who has heen "dead for ten years has just come hack." "Huh! Nothing strange ahout that. A lot of men who have heen dead for ten years haven't gone yet." Perhaps "Well, perhaps Mr. Burton's de feat will make river improvement easier than it has been." "What makes you think so?" . . "He's found out that Salt river Is navigable, and the chances are he will permit its improvement." Nothing Doing He gently pressed her dainty hand Yet knew she not what Cupid's dart meant. No vows the two there inter changed He was the clerk in the glove department. At the Minstrel Show "Mistah Johnsing, can youse tell me de diffrunce between a cashier's check an' a live wlah?" "I don't think I kin, Mistah Brown. What is de diffrunce be tween a cashier's check an' a live wiah?" "De diffrunce is dat one ain't legal tendah, while de othah is passin' currept. De ochesstry will now play while Mr. Bonesman sings dat plain tive little melody, 'Break de News - t' Papah; de furnace" fiah is out!" In Bear Land The flurry in Bear Land was at , its height, and despite the efforts of the conservative Bruins everything seemed headed towards ruin. "Something must be done," re marked one of the leaders. "Would it not be a good scheme o issue Teddy Bear certificates?" queried one harassed financier. "That will not suffice," said the chairman of the meeting. "The . trouble is deeper seated than that." Just then there was a loud cheer from the assembled Bruins outside. "Has the end arrived?" moaned the chairman. Just then the door flew open and a messenger rushed in waving aloft a bearogram. Snatching it from the hands of the messenger the chair man read it and shouted: "Saved!" Gathering about him the assembly read: "Washington, D. C, November 20. Owing to complications that have arisen the president of the United States has announced that he will not be able to indulgo in another outing for some time." Instantly a copy was given to every paper in Bruin Land, and tho glad news stayed tho panic at once. - Compensation "Glory be!" exclulmed Ragson Taggs, "I've got plenty of cause for Thanksgiving!" "What have you to bo thankful for?" queried a. friend. "Plenty. Just as I was wonder ing how on earth I was to get a. good Thanksgiving dinner the doctor tells me I must diet myself and abstain from all rich food." Up to Date Tho gas burned low. All was silent through the house save for the steady noise of the fur nace masticating the ten-fifty per ton coal with an appetite that could not be stayed. A shadowy form crept across the floor towards a pair of trousers thrown carelessly in a corner. Ever and anon the shadowy form stopped in its course, and silence once more reigned, except as aforesaid. At last the shadowy form reached the trousers and grasped them. A hand was thrust into a pocket and there was tho faint jingle of coin and keys and things. Then the trousers were carefully replaced in their former position and the shadowy form retired. The next morning, after tho head of the family had started down town, the wife hurriedly counted some small change she had secreted under the corner of the rug. "This," she muttered to herself, "is what I suppose they call 'emer gency currency.' " The only answer was the steady work of the furnace. November The fleecy snow is falling, And leaves are falling, too; An,d falling is the mercury And notes are falling due. Pray tell me, brother worker, The truth I fain would know Why 'tis that when a note falls due It's hard to raise the "dough?" No Panic This happened in Lincoln one day last week, the scene being the rear platform of a Seventeenth street car: Alex Weckesser jumped on the car as it rourided the corner and a friend greeted him: "Hello, Alex! How's business?" "Never better," replied Weckesser. "I made about $50,000 today." The car rattled merrily on until it came to WeckesseVs corner and he dropped off. ' "Great Scott!" ejaculated a pas senger. "Who was that young fel low? And how do you suppose he made that much money in one day?" "O, that's Weckesser, foreman of tho press room at George Bros. He must have been printing bank cer tificates all day." Then it dawned upon tho stranger that he had not quite understood it. Thoughts on Thanksgiving The man who has nothing to be thankful for is to be pitied. If, is never so bad but what it might be worse although it is hard some times to believe It. You ought to bo thankful that you are living today, for something may turn up tomorrow. What's tho uso of having a big dlnnor in front of you If you have a stomach that re volts at anything stronger than pro dlgcstod milk and wator crackers? A soupbono, where love dwells, is hotter than young turkoy with cran borry sauce where contention reigns. If you have nothing elan to bo thankful for, you might at least be thankful that you have an opportu nity to make others happier. Tho man who can not do something to add to the happiness of others Is indeed In poor circumstances. A Thanksgiving dinner shared Is a Thanksgiving joy doubled. Answers to Correspondents "Friendship" No one has sent us a turkey as yet. Wo do not know whero wo will eat Thanksgiving dinner. "Filling" Wo prefer oyster dres sing, but wo can stand for chestnut, or oven sago dressing. "Stranger" Tho only way wo can tell a turkoy's ago Is by tho teeth. Wo do not mean tho turkoy's tooth. "Addle" Chicken will do. "Choico"Wo profer tho light meat, with a slice of tho dark meat, and plonty of gravy on tho dressing, "Aside" We'll compromise on cranberry sauce. "Cafo Noir" It is a matter of taste. Wq prefer to have our coffee como on early In the meal. "Sweet Tooth" While making a choice you may pass tho pumpkin pie. "Tompus Fugit" People have dif ferent hours for dining. We prefer to have our Thanksgiving dinner sorved just about tho timo wo are hungriest. "McGregor" There Is an old say ing, "Where tho McGregor sits there Is the head of the table." Wo pre fer to sit noxt to tbo foot. The carver and the one next to him aro usually the Inst ones waited upon. I'Admlrcr" Ship it by express. "Hostess" Thanks. Your regu lar dinner hour will suit us perfect ly well. Brain Leaks Agnosticism makes no converts at the tomb. Love laughs at locksmiths, but not at goldsmiths. Money talks, and cashier's checks produce a lot of it. In the midst of prosperity wo aro in need of real money. Friendship bought with money is never an available asset. Salvation is free, but it costs something to maintain it. Joining a church does not make a man a Christian, but It helps. It Is rather rubbing it in to advise a man with "cold feet" to keep cool. We lose a lot of valuable time worrying about the things that never happen. After all, would life bo worth while if everything happened just as we wanted it to? It is easy to believe after eating a hearty meal that everybody in the world Is well fed and happy. Kind words are easily coined, and there is never any need of issuing cashier's checks to take their place. The longer a man works at a job the more he knows about it, and tho less he thinks ho knows about it. People who 'give a lot can attract public attention. Somo men have glyen their all without ever being known to fame. He is in mighty poor business who tries to destroy a faith and a belief that are the supports of feet that totter towards the grave. - If wo were a canary bird we'd not sing; and if we ran the house rthe canary would either postpone his singing or hunt another homo. I M.A.l.UCET,Wl,itoa.B.C. Ub.18Sl TOBACCO Factory Wants DRUMMERS Hnlnrrorpoininlilon. Btmlf wnrk nml promoUon. Kxpcr1rnmiirinrc(wnrxiriiiJitiitrioiMiiinilniri(r1tlc Diwivill ToUnooo Co,, llox K HO, XJAn villa, Vn. PATENTS HKCIIKKII OK I'KB Froo report jm lo I'Atetilnblllly. llliwtrntM tttiM USff' Jl1"' un r '"VftfitloiM Wttntwl. jwnt frw, ICVANH, WII.KKNH A )., WihIUmcUm. II. C Nurseries Pny Cnnh Weekly and Want Muie Caijuuem Cvm. viirae. Dtrr Cowiurr tir-r cm Lamout NLttir.iftxwmi Iwfll-Vna tlrm.n STARK URO'S. LOUISIANA, MO. MHBrvnOTKCT yOVfl Idea' Honlc "Pftrttmni PATENTS I'atcnla -What mid Unvt to i. i u . . l"ynU' flint i iwr nnldn Hook J'lti'K. Hmd idcctrh for Km v. rrtma m to palcnlnblllly - . Vhmiihhii, iix . Wiwli, ij. a rn-ttitht Bold to tttauwr t HUtntU lHer. W Ir rrlH. f'aUIosrUafrce COILED SPRINO rilMCB CO, Box lai Winchester, Indian. lt zm 5 O a Day SureSsSs; '" 0W f nrnltli tli wf k and Uth jrru ti,jv work In Mt locality !, j I it hnl ui ytnjr fMrm nt w will expUln the lwilni fullr.rinnUr t furnl tlrpreCt of f J fnrnTrrr iUt woik, alaoluUIr tutu, Writ tonr, ROTAIiMlXmCTlUiSUCO., Wax 1W0 U.Uetl,Mia. 15' ESKfwPSI CKNTM far trial Hi wwkd, In thlnl llltixtrati'tf nntloiml weekly nil tlio Impor tant iiuwH of tlin world I bi stated cktirly. fairly. and lirlrtly, for busy rrculnr. Miuiv MprrJnl fnAture of.n,nl hit'ironl. Jt In sincere, reliable, cnlortnlnlnjr TJIK paper for tho homo. fl yfcar: takw plncoof lp .to II paper. Try It, 13 wko. for 16c J'ntiifiiidar. Wash., J). O. FOR AGENTS. A SUCCESS. "The Old World And its Way" BY Wm. Jennings Bryan 57 Imperial OcUivo Vagtt. JW1 Bnptrb JingraV' trigs jrom fn'swyrupris m hen ui vol tiryatu Uocountn his trip around tho world nnrt his rlblui to all nations. Groatcxt book of travel over written. Mont Kuccoful book of this KOriora tlon. 41,000 called forln 4 niontlin. WrlW nu for itaniplo reports of flntt 100 acnU om plorod. Tho pcoplo buy It eagerly. Tho nifoni's harvest. Ouilli J' It KK. Bend tlftr cDU to cover coot of mailing and bundling. THE THOMPSON PUBLISHING CO., St Louis, Mo. For Charity For aale, an old-fauhloncd mahogany bedfltead four high pouts. Tho bod 1 lurffc, handflome, and no well prcHervcd that It can be uned without bolngr Gone K. ovor. It in one hundred uud twonty flvo yearn pld. Belonfftr to ono of Jet-1 fcrflon Davl family. For particular, write Mrs. E. H. D., Box 294, Tfaomasvilla, Ca. MR. METCALFE'S BOOK "OF SUCH IS THE KINGDOM" And Other Stories from Life NOW READY FOR DELIVERY JOIfN M, HARLAN. Auodate Julie. VpUtd SttUt Supreme Court; ' Year liitlc book. Of Socb It the Kingdom,' hx been ied by mc vrilh mora thta ordinary iolerctt. Indeed, I have ttd It ihoojh twice. No on can rrad tb4 itor'ut (torn life 'without both inlernt sad profit, or without luv inf a hif her co&caption of Lu ditty to Cod cd to hit fcllowmao." Cloth bound, printed from clear type on heavy paper, ffllt side and back Btarcps. 200 paces. Sent prepaid on receipt of 11.00. Addrtta RICHARD L. METCALFE Care Tbe ConunoBer LINCOLN. NEBR. raaa a "i !l iijvy..Anei