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NdVEMBER 8, 1907
Thcbjnmbne?.
13
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Where -the Sun Goes Down
"Wall Street has got th' Jlmjams an'
is writhin' now In pain, '
But, glory bo, we of th' west has
got our hogs an' grain!
We're feelin' purty bully, an' we
-ain't got nary fear
It may be dark in Wall Street, but
out west th' sky Is clear.
Their stocks are full o' water, but
our stock is full o hay;
An' while Wall Street's feelin' fear
ful wo are feelin' blythe an gay.
We are gettin' bigger dally stand
asid,e an' give us room!
Way out west th' sun. is shinin even
If Wall Street's in gloom!
We won't feel a single. tremor if all
frenzied finance stops,
For we're far above their "panic on
a mountain top o' crops.
Hogs an' steers are growin' fatter
an' our bins are full o' wheat,
An' it tickled us amazin' as we
watch th' frantic "Street.'!
Got a cellar full o' tators!. Molly
-put th' kittle on! . ,
.Smokehouse full o' hams an' bacon;
fears o'- panic dead an' gone.
Wall Street full o' fear an' tremble,
but our fears are set at rest '
By th' bumper crops we gathered in
' the fair an' boundless west.
Glory Halleluja, brother! We've no
fear of reefs an' rocks;
Got th' crops all' safely garnered
idon't-'depend on watered stocks.
Join the chorus, everybody; got
enough for all our needs,
An' we laugh 'cause Wall Street got
it right where Cora wore her
beads. ,
Financial Hero
The Highwayman held a pistol to
our head and deftly removed $13.50
from our inside pocket, the same
representing one week's work.
"This is. cruel and .wrong of you,"
we exclaimed.
"Aw, gwan!" retorted the burg
lar. "I am going to deposit this in
the bank to remove the financial
stringency. I am one of them Rockefeller-Morgan
financial heroes you
read "about. Instead o' cussin' me
you ought to give nie three cheers
and a vote of thanks."
Being dependent upon the daily
newspapers for our information we
could do nQ less than accept the ex
planation , and , act thereon.
-Easy
'$Vhat are the most enjoyable
things in7 life?", queries the liOuis
ville CoiiierrJunal.
O, -that's,. too1 easy. Salary due
tomorrow lnoon and not a bloomin'
bill to pay
We have the salary coming, all
right. -
Iiofs of l?rqsper"ty
' The architect &t this department
Is in "receipt of a check for $27.
drawn In his favor by D. C. Norton
of .Punlap, Kansas.
Now we don't care how long this
"temporary financial flurry" lasts.
Mr. Norton enters this department's
"missing word contest" and has
complied with all-the requirements.
Ho is the only man who basy ther
fore ho will receive the prizes 'lust
as- soon as -wo get good and" "ready
to forward them and not before.
We don't allow any old bank to beat
us at tho game, so wo will forward
a clearing house certificate for the
prizes If Mr. Norton insists. -
Mr. Norton correctly gives each
"missing word," but what Is mora
to the point ho sends the chonK. It
has been deposited in tho bank upon
which it was drawn.
Queer a
"I can't understand this present
flurry In financial circles,", remarked
Floatem. ' " -
"Neither can I," 3ald 'Promotom.
"I've got plenty of collateral, but
I can't float a loan. What are we
to do?"
"I don't know. I, too, have
plenty of collateral."
"Whot's yours?"
"I've got ten thousand shares in
the 'Hope So mine. What's yours?"
"Why, I've got sixteen thousand
shares In tho Aurora Borealls &
South pple liimited Railway."
"Well, ain't It queer with all the
collateral 4n sight that there' should
be a .lack of confidence 1n business
stability?"
Itann's Cako ''
Bestuscake 'at ever wuz, '
An' It's bestus jus' bocuz , t , ,. , '
Rona mixed it. ' '',
Got th' fixings from th' shelf,' .
Mixed 'em all jus' by herself, '
An' she fixed It L.-,
Jus' as good as good. could, be, V
An' she "baked It all'f'r mo" ",.-, v
Mixed it up, an' then she got'
That ol' oven plpin' hot
F'r t' bake it. -Greased
tho pan an' poured th'
dough, ' - .
Careful It should run jus' so,
So's to make it
Look like cake that mamma makes
Made jus' so an' no mistakes.
Choc'late frostin' thick a.n' fine.
Is th' kind I'll take in mine", . -
Spread, on thick.
When it's done, with smiling face
Rena finds a nice cool place,- ., -
An' as quick '
As it cools she cuts a slice-ri- r
Gee, that cake Is mighty nic! f-.c
. J - i
"Mamma's helper,", bless herneart!
She is acting well her part jWf
Day by day. 't
Sweeping, baking, making beds,'
Sewing, pulling basting threads.!
Blythe and gay. -
Willing worker nine years old
You are worth your weight in gold.
AwfHl
The raging flames lapped eagerly
at the building. -
"We are out of water!" shouted
the captain of the fire department..
"What's the matter?.'' we anx
iously cried. ' .
"Hydrant broke' was the sen
tentious explanation.
But that didn't jar us a bit. Be
ing a Wall Street promotor we mere
ly advised the captain to connect his
hose with our company, There was
plenty of water therein to stay the
raging flames. "
Answers to Correspondents
Q TPanic never touched us.
Had all our money invested in a
Jiushel of potatoes, and the potatoes
in our own cellar.
"Ambitious." We've had several
ambitions in our time. The' first one
was io play the tenor drtfnf In tho
village band. The next one was to
bo able Id pitch a "drop" ball. One
of our present ambitions is to bo
tho undisputed owner of two pairs
of suspeiiders at once.
"Family."- Yes, our family has
free access to my pockotbook that
is to say, all of the family but iuq.
"Paroo." Why not plait tho bins
piece and attach to tho gore right
where the point nppliquo cornea down
over the hemstitch,
"Economy." One way to econo
mize on coal Is to spend tho winter
with your wife's relations.
"Auto." Wo can not glvo you any
advice about buying an automobile.
Our only knowledge of tho horse
less carriage Is confined to the ex
perience wo havo had in pushing six
separate and distinct kinds.
"Wifey." A fraction over nlnoty-i
six pounds, but she has demonstrat
ed her ability to make a 180-pound
man stand around. "
"Posey," Write 'em with a pon
cil and a foot rulo.
"Sweetheart." If ho persists in
chewing tobacco just before he calls,
you might purify the atmosphere by
eating an onion for supper.
DOM'T READ IT RANDOM
Thy Tub
Popular Syfitctnntlc fontse
rvn
American Year
8, C,: Ymr
un
Jl'r lltttlfMNIMu In fl. r, t
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sffiirm?"
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tiXa for pirtlcutarg or eml no) at one to
Kxtc-HMfun Dii.,
C H A U TAUQUA PRESS
Chautauqua, New York
SYSTEM KRINGS RESULTS
The Rural Districts
Do tho chores in dnytimo
An' sleep from nlglrt till morn
Eastern,, banks a bustln'
But my cribs are full b' corn.
Read my dally paper
'Bout panic in the street;
Don't give me no worry;
My bins are full o' wheat.
Stfucezfn' 'out th'o water's'' r"J
Makln' stock go plunlc?-
Laugh an stir the fire
An' add another chunk.
Country's just as solid
Ah ol' Gibraltar rock;
We've hogs and cattle 'plenty
An frinf.'fi nur "WfifornrTRfrinlr
t
Just lot 'em corner copper
An' work their high finance;
We've clothes and grub a plenty,
, An' money In our pants.
We've minted rain an' sunshine
Instead o' printing shares
The trust concerns are bustln',
An' let 'em bust who cares?
', limhi Leaks
Keep sweet!
The best way Is always tho. easiest
way. - i
There is no heat In last year's ash
heap.
A lot ;of cheap notoriety can be
secured by posing as a critic.
Tho things that never happen aro
usually the. things that most worry
us.
It is so easy to find fault that a
lot of people spend most of their
spare time at It.
It is a wasto of time to talk to
a starving man about the benefits ol
occasional fasting.
For that hard times feeling, take
seven dosefc a day of Dr. Cheerup's
Extract of Sunshine and Good Cheer.
Repentance professed for the pur
pose of getting into a position to
do it again does, not count for any
thing. It is easy to smile while you are
winning, but the world loves $, man
who can keep right on smiling while
losing.
The open season for fish is no
more, and now we want to go fish
ing worse than ever. Isn't that
natural?
Perhaps the women, dear creat
ures, call them "mushroom
hats" because papa has to put up
such a big stake to get one.
What tickles us is to hpar a man
who has, carefully turaedi up the
bottom Of' his trousers and jabbed
four geometrical dents In his hat,
talking in sarcastic tones about
feminine headgear.
L
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COILED SPHIMQ fENCK C.
Cox SH Win!..!.?, !,,..
P 9k T E N T S HKCUKKn Ott VKK
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IEJ&'TIm1! i". t0, ,I,,u,nt"mty. JiiiMimtMl Outdo
KVANM, WIMCHNK & CO., WMniiiKtoaTS. a
Nurseries Pny Cash Weekty
AND WAKT MokE Hili'iiuril tTvvnv.
WHERE. OUT Cnimirr. U.m-r -!..
LAROeSTNuitIEIIIES.WtTlllMfll.V0iM T..'
STARK BRO'S, LOUISIANA, Mo!
Air
S3aDaySurel
7 , iumlh Ui work n&Urh yo
fif M forirr A$.ft work, h4ut4rur.
uiiTii. miwiivi nrriiiiii . .
vaHn.iiv'AVltfUilll tUtl
Anl na vrwnp AjfifrM.
And y will trwwstti
y - --f
I .imnuwiY Rura. -n nu fclrA.
8 1Q2 bUlt,UMt,
TmjKni
mlif&A
fjjjy LUTTl
j'eCl?STNf,)rlrfan.1
Wwki. In Uil
iiiiinrntol nntlonnl
wockjy all I m timxir.
tant riowii if llio world
lH RUitwl i:tnrW. fnlrlr.
jiijcI imolly, for bimy nuulcrx. Mnny peciftl InUircn
'Jrrn.1 '"'rrt, ItlH irlnct'rc reliable, tmuninuwnx
-a II K patter for tlio homo. l yenr: takrrfp1iu od
W to ti lMH'rs. Try jt, 13 wkj. for J&& J'rtUjUudpr,
FOR AGENTS. A SUCCESS.
"The Old World
And Its Wmyi
BY-
PJf
Wm. Jennings Bryan
inqi Jrum I'huto-Tayh$ taken by Cut. Jirvan.
Ilocounts blu trip around tho world nnd bis
visits to all hatlons. Oroatost book of travel crcr
wrlttoo. Moat tiueenftnfal iMvik nt til unr.
tlon. 41 ,tH called for In mHthH. Write
us for saruplo reports of flrat X(H ncnt5 cm
ployed. ?be people buy It erly. Yboaaeot'i
BarVfiliL. Outfit VHKK.-ilfml Mttv fani
to cover eot of Ballla and tandiiay.
THETHOMPSON PUBLISHIKfi CO., Jt Utfi. M.
Jefferson's Bible
The Life and Morals of
JESUS OF NAZARETH
Etucf ed TtxiuiHf (iota ih GotpU, tottUr wik
com pti too at Urn doctnatt wilb thoj of othtri.
By THOMAS JEFFERSON
JeStnoo' titinion ym UtUrMp. Wilkt
n tMort m Ut part exprnUai Item ti lift
tWaiYeao (bcr tama't wld caticd Kt a(
traded notice, tttmm thertrt(ofth txioras,
itelt, ami jtthetini-cri of (ml nuiei til' his
ctnnlrjmea. Henry S. Randall.
J6eno'f BMc U a took of 164 ptftt, wcO
pnnlci tod niaUAtkHy bovnd in cloth. It mi
Ukh$i otituUy to U toll (eruglM pr
copy, By ftttrhttirl the book In Lt0t auunlxri
wc are Uc to offer Commoner i&Jktt ma cz
ccptiooti file of 75c per copy; KoHUf idm3.
, t ' '"
adj6RSS all orWrs rq
THE COMMONER, LINCOLN, NEBRASKA
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