6
The Commoner.
VOLUME 7, NUMBER 3fl
- ,',
The Commoner.
ISSUED WEEKLY. v
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lUCllAIlI) L. MjTTCAI.l'JC
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THE COMMONER, Lincoln, Nob. -
"Artist" EarlG is not painting himself m in
very bright colors.
I Tl
, r Several Wall Street melons"- have turned
out to be "lemons" of late. . - ?
" v
n. The country refused to double up when
.Wall Street felt a little cramp.
Senator Piatt is inflating the Hughes. boom
by calling the governor a lot of harsh names.
The time to discard the straw hat is when
you feel like you -are able .. to invest in a new
-derby.
Secretary Root has learned to play tennis.
Just as if there wasn't already racquet enough
in Washington.
f
Perhaps Mr. Fish has spent afew weeks
with Professor Muldoon in anticipation of those
directors' meetings.
If Mr. Fish has any moro resolutions to
offer the board of directors wiirdoubtless listen
to them with patience.
It seems that the republican administration
has to resort to some awfully big guns to make
Tom Johnson take notice.
The men who favor revising the tariff by
meauB of a commission are perfectly willing to
provide the commissioners.
Japan and Great Britain have entered into
an agreement to protect China. Well, goodby
China; take keer o' yerself.
The only complaint the trusts have against
Texas is that Toxas actually has the effrontery
to enforce her anti-trust laws. ,
The government is going to run a newspaper
in Panama to keep us misinformed concerning
the progress of the canal work.
Tho Washington Herald says the new $10
bills are very beautiful. We never noticed any
thing ugly about the old $10 bills.
An Iowa man has just won a wife by reason
of his artistic prevarications. "A lot of men man
age to retain their wives the same way. "
Walter Wollman seems to have determined
upon another year of press age-ating end chau
tauquaing before dashing slowly for the pole
It seems that those San Francisco organ
ized labor rioters on Labor Day were merely
objecting to being shot up by strikebreakers.
It is rumored that President Roosevelt's
forthcoming message will be "longer and bolder"
than any of its predecessors. Bolder, perhaps!
Mr. Rockefeller should welcome the strike
of the telegraphors. It delays the messages
announcing new indictments of the Standard.
Someone has just unearthed and printed
the ilrBt poem Rudyard Kipling wrote. And the
man who did it claims that he is Kipling's friend
and admirer.
Texas has just stacked up $35,000 she
raked in as a fine from the harvester trust.
The trust feels pretty well thrashed and is not
chaffing about it.
United States Treasurer Treat predicts that
money will be easy by the middle of November.
This is calculated to' make Wall Street turn the
spigot on the stocks.
Senator Warner says he can not see how
any man can be a democrat. The senator's fail
ing eyesight should secure for him the sympathy
of an intelligent public.
President Roosevelt expresses surprise that
so much canal dirt was moved during the rainy
season. Perhaps the employes couldn't do any
thing else while it rained.
The two-cent fare law has seriously injured
the railroads by reason of making it impossible
for them to supply enough passenger coaches
to accommodate the traveling public.
It seems that ex-Governor Taylor is perfect
ly willing to return and stand trial in Kentucky,
provided he cart be guaranteed in advance that
the verdict will be one of acquittal.
It will be notecLJn passing that while he
felt the need of a vacation, Judge Landis did
not deem it necessary to rusticate at the reju
venating farm of Hon. Billy Muldoon.
The St. Louis Times is loudly calling, for
the building of that municipal bridge, disregard
ing the St. Louis Times' declaration that mu--nicipal
ownership means municipal bust.
The telegraph companies promised an in
crease in wages, but after increasing the tolls
fprgot all about the operators. Some corpora
tions are woefully absentminded and forgetful.
The Western Union has so successfully
fought the Commercial Telegraphers Union that
the directors found it necessary to pay the quar
terly dividend out of tlie surplus accumulated
before the strike.
Senator Warner says President Roosevelt
is the greatest president this republic has ever
hnd. But, then, the senator has a few more
Missouri friends who have not yet been properly
placed.
Having noted the fact that Tom Johnson
has well earned the soubriquet of "the best
mayor" of the best governed city in the United
States, the administration is going to see, what
it can do to change the conditions.
The New York World is loudly calling for
Secretary Cortelyou's resignation. The World
is always yearning for the unattainable and
neglecting present opportunities.
Base ball teams that failed to win 1907
pennants are now engaged In winning 1908 pen
nants. And that's one thing that makes the
great national pastime so interesting.
Mr. Hearst is not surprised at trie criticisms
brought forth in the administration organs by
his -Labor Day speech at Jamestown. Mr.
Hearst long since learned that it is impossible
to please men who will not be pleased.
The St. Louis Globe-Democrat says "The
fate of the whole country may hinge upon the
city election in Cleveland." If Burton is elected
the Globe-Democrat will claim that it means
republican success in the nation in 19 OS. If
Johnson 'Wins the. Globe-Democrat will dismiss
it as a purely local election that has no bear
ing on the national campaign.
Paragraphic Punches
At this rate John D. Rockefeller may w
have reason to regret that he spurned that wit
ness fee. Milwaukee Sentinel.
A St. Louis man has just married because
h,e was dared to. Some men will risk anything
rather than takea dare. St. Louis Republic.
No wonder these seem dark days to For
aker! They would to anybody under the lid on
which Taft is sitting. Philadelphia North
American.
Even the most humane opponents of tho
death penalty admit the need of capitol punish
ment in Pennsylvania. Philadelphia North
American.
Taft says that the newspapers made him a
candidate, but Leslie Shaw must realize that ho
has no one to blame but himself. Richmond
Times-Dispatch.
It is the season when a round trip tickt
to Oyster Bay and a wise look will enable a
man to gain great respect for his political opin
ion. Washington Star.
The railways in North Carolina are declar
ing that the state government used the big stick.
And they are vociferously bearing testimony
that it hurts. Baltimore 'American.
It is barely possible that the president may
become so infuriated with nature fakirs that
he will insist upon Nick Longworth changing his
name to Burroughsworth. Houston Post.
"The Chicago and Alton fell into the hands
of bandits," says Congressman Townsend. lie
can't possibly have reference to reputable and
unjailed men like Harriman. Detroit News.
It is proposed in London that medical prac
titioners drop the title "Doctor" and adopt plain
"Mister." This would be a relief to the chiro
podists and the drug clerks. Buffalo Express.
Governor Hughes has fairly earned his va
cation, and no one will grudge .him the use of
the state's fish hatchery cottage. He hasn't any
man of war to take a vacation in! Brooklyn
Eagle.
They have a fish in Australia called tho
"blue-eye," which feeds' voraciously on the
larvae of mosquitoes. What a picnic that fish
would have in a neighboring state! New York
Herald.
But with Carnegie libraries going up all
over the land, what is the need to go back to
the time of Rameses II to find a man who liked
to adorn public edifices with his name? Kansas
City Times.
The fossil of a lizard 314 feet long has been
found out in Wyoming. When some prehistoric
giant stepped on tho tip of his tail, we wonder
how long it was before its head discovered it?
Boston Globe.
The man who nominated Parker in the St.
Louis democratic convention "is to defend Harry
Thaw at his next trial. Harry evidently means
to' show the world that he is not superstitious.
St. Paul Pioneer-Press.
The announcement that a man died recent
ly of lockjaw from the sting of a bee will not
affect the multitude who have the. presidential
bee. No sting from it has ever produced lock
jaw. St. Louis Republic.
For downright disloyalty the Filipinos
deserve to rank with the voters of Oklahoma,
who after being offered the blessings of a state
hood, delight in being counted a democratic
stronghold. New York World.
There is a rapidly-growing and an irrepres
sible demand for such a revision of the tariff
as will protect and benefit the United States
-without pilaging the public at large for the
private benefit of a few favored millionaires. As
yet no word of encouragement has come from
President Roosevelt, however. Richmond
Times-Dispatch.
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