6 The Commoner. VOLUME 7, NUMBER 3fl - ,', The Commoner. ISSUED WEEKLY. v WlI.MAM J. UllYAK Kdltnrnnd Proprietor. lUCllAIlI) L. MjTTCAI.l'JC Associate Editor. Oh am.ics W. Bkyan Fubllnlicr. EdJtorfnl noomB and IJuslncai Omco 324-330 South 12th Street Entered nt tho PoMofilco nt Lincoln, Nob., n second-class miittor OiioYcnr - - .81.00 Glx MuntliH - .BO In Clubs ofl'Mvo or moro, Per Year - .75 Tlirco Months - SGo Slnglo Copy - - 5o Snmplo Copies Frco. ForolRii 1'ostago 52 Cents Extra. SUI1SOHIPTIONS can bo sent direct to Tho Com moner. They can also bo sent through nowspapors which have advertised a clubbing rate, or through local agents, where sub-agents huvo boon appoint ed. All remittances should bo sent by postofllco money order, express order, or by bank draft on Now York or Chicago. Do not send individual checks, stamps or money. 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Address all communications to , THE COMMONER, Lincoln, Nob. - "Artist" EarlG is not painting himself m in very bright colors. I Tl , r Several Wall Street melons"- have turned out to be "lemons" of late. . - ? " v n. The country refused to double up when .Wall Street felt a little cramp. Senator Piatt is inflating the Hughes. boom by calling the governor a lot of harsh names. The time to discard the straw hat is when you feel like you -are able .. to invest in a new -derby. Secretary Root has learned to play tennis. Just as if there wasn't already racquet enough in Washington. f Perhaps Mr. Fish has spent afew weeks with Professor Muldoon in anticipation of those directors' meetings. If Mr. Fish has any moro resolutions to offer the board of directors wiirdoubtless listen to them with patience. It seems that the republican administration has to resort to some awfully big guns to make Tom Johnson take notice. The men who favor revising the tariff by meauB of a commission are perfectly willing to provide the commissioners. Japan and Great Britain have entered into an agreement to protect China. Well, goodby China; take keer o' yerself. The only complaint the trusts have against Texas is that Toxas actually has the effrontery to enforce her anti-trust laws. , The government is going to run a newspaper in Panama to keep us misinformed concerning the progress of the canal work. Tho Washington Herald says the new $10 bills are very beautiful. We never noticed any thing ugly about the old $10 bills. An Iowa man has just won a wife by reason of his artistic prevarications. "A lot of men man age to retain their wives the same way. " Walter Wollman seems to have determined upon another year of press age-ating end chau tauquaing before dashing slowly for the pole It seems that those San Francisco organ ized labor rioters on Labor Day were merely objecting to being shot up by strikebreakers. It is rumored that President Roosevelt's forthcoming message will be "longer and bolder" than any of its predecessors. Bolder, perhaps! Mr. Rockefeller should welcome the strike of the telegraphors. It delays the messages announcing new indictments of the Standard. Someone has just unearthed and printed the ilrBt poem Rudyard Kipling wrote. And the man who did it claims that he is Kipling's friend and admirer. Texas has just stacked up $35,000 she raked in as a fine from the harvester trust. The trust feels pretty well thrashed and is not chaffing about it. United States Treasurer Treat predicts that money will be easy by the middle of November. This is calculated to' make Wall Street turn the spigot on the stocks. Senator Warner says he can not see how any man can be a democrat. The senator's fail ing eyesight should secure for him the sympathy of an intelligent public. President Roosevelt expresses surprise that so much canal dirt was moved during the rainy season. Perhaps the employes couldn't do any thing else while it rained. The two-cent fare law has seriously injured the railroads by reason of making it impossible for them to supply enough passenger coaches to accommodate the traveling public. It seems that ex-Governor Taylor is perfect ly willing to return and stand trial in Kentucky, provided he cart be guaranteed in advance that the verdict will be one of acquittal. It will be notecLJn passing that while he felt the need of a vacation, Judge Landis did not deem it necessary to rusticate at the reju venating farm of Hon. Billy Muldoon. The St. Louis Times is loudly calling, for the building of that municipal bridge, disregard ing the St. Louis Times' declaration that mu--nicipal ownership means municipal bust. The telegraph companies promised an in crease in wages, but after increasing the tolls fprgot all about the operators. Some corpora tions are woefully absentminded and forgetful. The Western Union has so successfully fought the Commercial Telegraphers Union that the directors found it necessary to pay the quar terly dividend out of tlie surplus accumulated before the strike. Senator Warner says President Roosevelt is the greatest president this republic has ever hnd. But, then, the senator has a few more Missouri friends who have not yet been properly placed. Having noted the fact that Tom Johnson has well earned the soubriquet of "the best mayor" of the best governed city in the United States, the administration is going to see, what it can do to change the conditions. The New York World is loudly calling for Secretary Cortelyou's resignation. The World is always yearning for the unattainable and neglecting present opportunities. Base ball teams that failed to win 1907 pennants are now engaged In winning 1908 pen nants. And that's one thing that makes the great national pastime so interesting. Mr. Hearst is not surprised at trie criticisms brought forth in the administration organs by his -Labor Day speech at Jamestown. Mr. Hearst long since learned that it is impossible to please men who will not be pleased. The St. Louis Globe-Democrat says "The fate of the whole country may hinge upon the city election in Cleveland." If Burton is elected the Globe-Democrat will claim that it means republican success in the nation in 19 OS. If Johnson 'Wins the. Globe-Democrat will dismiss it as a purely local election that has no bear ing on the national campaign. Paragraphic Punches At this rate John D. Rockefeller may w have reason to regret that he spurned that wit ness fee. Milwaukee Sentinel. A St. Louis man has just married because h,e was dared to. Some men will risk anything rather than takea dare. St. Louis Republic. No wonder these seem dark days to For aker! They would to anybody under the lid on which Taft is sitting. Philadelphia North American. Even the most humane opponents of tho death penalty admit the need of capitol punish ment in Pennsylvania. Philadelphia North American. Taft says that the newspapers made him a candidate, but Leslie Shaw must realize that ho has no one to blame but himself. Richmond Times-Dispatch. It is the season when a round trip tickt to Oyster Bay and a wise look will enable a man to gain great respect for his political opin ion. Washington Star. The railways in North Carolina are declar ing that the state government used the big stick. And they are vociferously bearing testimony that it hurts. Baltimore 'American. It is barely possible that the president may become so infuriated with nature fakirs that he will insist upon Nick Longworth changing his name to Burroughsworth. Houston Post. "The Chicago and Alton fell into the hands of bandits," says Congressman Townsend. lie can't possibly have reference to reputable and unjailed men like Harriman. Detroit News. It is proposed in London that medical prac titioners drop the title "Doctor" and adopt plain "Mister." This would be a relief to the chiro podists and the drug clerks. Buffalo Express. Governor Hughes has fairly earned his va cation, and no one will grudge .him the use of the state's fish hatchery cottage. He hasn't any man of war to take a vacation in! Brooklyn Eagle. They have a fish in Australia called tho "blue-eye," which feeds' voraciously on the larvae of mosquitoes. What a picnic that fish would have in a neighboring state! New York Herald. But with Carnegie libraries going up all over the land, what is the need to go back to the time of Rameses II to find a man who liked to adorn public edifices with his name? Kansas City Times. The fossil of a lizard 314 feet long has been found out in Wyoming. When some prehistoric giant stepped on tho tip of his tail, we wonder how long it was before its head discovered it? Boston Globe. The man who nominated Parker in the St. Louis democratic convention "is to defend Harry Thaw at his next trial. Harry evidently means to' show the world that he is not superstitious. St. Paul Pioneer-Press. The announcement that a man died recent ly of lockjaw from the sting of a bee will not affect the multitude who have the. presidential bee. No sting from it has ever produced lock jaw. St. Louis Republic. For downright disloyalty the Filipinos deserve to rank with the voters of Oklahoma, who after being offered the blessings of a state hood, delight in being counted a democratic stronghold. New York World. There is a rapidly-growing and an irrepres sible demand for such a revision of the tariff as will protect and benefit the United States -without pilaging the public at large for the private benefit of a few favored millionaires. As yet no word of encouragement has come from President Roosevelt, however. Richmond Times-Dispatch. i &.juth atn a feiu&diiA jW,4Ufrfarffcni ;