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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (July 20, 1906)
-m JULT 20, 1908 The Commoner. 13 i 4 My Wants I do not want a fortune great; I do not seek the cares of state, With all their glitter and their glare, And wicked schemes afloat in air. I do not yearn for power or place; Nor would I take part in the race For gold I only ask that I May sow good will while passing hy; And that when I am laid below The cool, green sod, where daisies blow, Some one will pause a bit, and then Declare: "He holped his fellowmen." I do not covet mansions grand, Nor acres broad on every hand; I do not yearn for jewels bright, To dazzle my poor neighbor's sight; I do not yearn to take command, And order'men en every hand I only ask that I may go Along a road where flowers blow, And dying, have men pause and say: "He scattered sunshine all the way." Let others dig and delve for gold; Let others place of power hold; Let others with a lordly air, Stand forth within the limelight's glare; Let others trade on hopes and fears, And profit by the sobs and tears Of those they wreck. I only ask The strength to do each daily task, Then homeward go with heart elate And greet my loved ones at the gate; Then, dying, have men pause a while And say: "He gave the .world a smile." Sure "Does Blankley take any interest in politics?" "Well, for a man who has'no prin ciple in politics I think he takes more than his share of interest." Flooded "Getting any dividends from that gold mine yet?" "Not yet. The mine is flooded." "Strike an underground stream?" "Nope! Last issue of treasury stock burst." Summer Resorts "Is "Mrs. Neurich at home?" "No, ma'm. She is at the summer resort." After the caller had. departed Mrs. Neurich came in from the back porch, where the family refrigerator stands. Barred Billings, looking at his watch, "I've got to catch a train." "Where are you going?" "Going up Into the reservation and try my luck in Uncle Sam's land lot tery. See you later. Ta, ta!" Forbidden "General," gasped the staff officer, "I am compelled to report that we are out of ammunition. We have plenty of powder, but no projectiles for our field guns!" "Then all is lost!" gasped the com manding officer, his face paling be neath its coat of tan. "We must re treat." But as the general was about to give the order to retire from the field a bright thought struck him. "Ha! We will load the guns with those cans of beef received by the commissary department." But it was not to be. When the order was given the gen eral's staff called attention to the rules of warfare. A little study showed that canned beef should be classed along with chain-shot, shrapnel, dum-dum bullets and poisoned wells. Realizing that the day was lost the general led a sullen retreat. "I am afraid of being injured in an automobile disaster, and I want an accident policy," said the caller. "You have come to the right place," said the agent "What make of auto mobile do you use?" "I use none at all. I am a pedes trian." "Sorry, sir; but we can not take the risk" said the agent. "We insure only to those who run autos." Awful! "The gambling craze is something awful," remarked Billings to Ballings. "Everybody seems to have the craze. It 1b sapping the foundations of so ciety, ruining the government and: threatening disaster. It is a disease that is fast becoming epidemic.0 "Right you are, old man," replied Ballings. "I've been thinking about it myself. Why, it seems that every body ia eramhUTK? on soma urOT) " "Excuse me, Ballings," gasped! A Bit of History Hon. Frank M. Lowe, a leading at torney of Kansas City, has announced himself a 'candidate. for the demoo-urid nomination for congress Trom the Fifth Missouri district The announcement calls to mind a bit of newspaper and political history that is written large in the annals of northwestern Mis souri, and tells how Mr. Lowe "fit, bled and purt' nigh died" for his democracy. It happened away back yonder In 1884, when the writer was a journey man printer and employed as foreman on the Atchison County Mail at Rock Port, Mo., the editor and publisher being Frank M. Lowe, now of Kansas City. In addition to editing the Mail Mr. Lowe was county attorney and a leading democrat The county was ordinarily republican, but Lowe car ried it. During the next campaign things warmed up, and the "ring" at Rock Port marked Lowe for slaughter. A young republican named "Smith" took the lead in opposing Lowe, and Lowe had a lot of fun with the young man, ridiculing him in every issue of his paper. This made "Smith" mad, and one day he called at the sanctum to notify Lowe that the name of "Smith" must never again appear in the Mall's columns. Lowe laughed and proceeded to tantalize the young man. Finally the visitor grew boister ous and Lowe started to eject him. The visitor drew a revolver and shot Lowe through the thigh. The writer heard the shot and rushed into the sanctum and found the "boss" lying on the floor with blood, saturating his clothing. As Lowe weighed about 240 pounds and the writer about 125-, it was necessary to call for assistance. So the writer went down stairs, hitting only about two steps in the descent, and soon had assistance. The editor's wound was not serious and after a couple of weeks in bed he was able to resume his public duties. He declined to prosecute his assail ant, but did bring suit for damage, which was compromised later. A few years later Mr. Lowe sold the Mall and removed to Clay county, where he continued in the newspaper and law business for a few months, Then ho quit tho newspaper business and located in Kansas City, where he has been active in democratic affairs. If Mr. Lowo goes to congress and here's hoplng---ho can provo by tho writer that ho "fit, bled an purt' nigh died" for tho privilege of boing a democrat t Stoygian Humor "I believe you are one of those men who took advantage of circumstances and raised tho price of icp to such a point that the poor could not buy it, thereby causing them much suff ering," remarked tho manager of tho Stygian Regions. "I confess that I seized what 1 thought to bo a business opportunity," replied tho ice trust magnate. "All right. Wo have no ice ma chines hore, so you may take your turn at that hot wave machine over there by the hottest furnace." Aititudinous A new game called "High" was be ing played. The object was to see which participant could namo the highest point without naming a monumtont, a public 'building or a mountain. They began: . "I am the rent," declared the first player. "I am a modern freight rate without rebate," said another. "I am the price of ice," declared a third. There was a groan of protest and claims of disadvantage, but the um pire ruled that the price of ice came under the rules. Then a player over in tho corner tspoke up and declared: "I am' the protective tariff." 'iinineGcstalv tht game broke up.- A lot of players ' were-wro-iiWit the ability to name anything that 'wg-uW, come witnin reacmng distance oi the player who spoke last COHORT HAND Srpwr,ti9f Bookkeenisr, jwmmmmmmm im Bturfonln, cheap ixxtrd. n r . ... nd IMM Boliool ftulldln graduates readily swrare nitaatlonn. IloaatUul Illustrated catalog FRKH. Write for It today, I. I,. MUmKLMAJSr, Pre. MexltS, g City Bwfawg College Quhwy.Hl. PATENTS WECUJtRD OR VKK I'rco roport an to Patentability, Illustrated 0nldo JJook. and List of Inventions Wanted, sont free. EVAN8, WILK1SNS & GO.,WHMhlngton,D.C. WANTI5D-FOR DKTJECTIVE BKRTICE, good mon who can glvo reference; experience not nooded-we glvo full InBtructlons. Addrosn Super intendent, Lock Box 391, Indianapolis. Indiana. KFRUITBOOK ithmv In KATTTn AT. svrsvna -. anntirntolv 1ram-(Hna mm i..t. i W VMtaurmlemM-&r!: Jirol. Lo<luuuX. All NORMAL COMMERCIAL SHORTHAND TELEGRAPHY STUDENTS ENROLLED 961 Posltlms Sicund er Tuition Refunded CAR FARE PAID. En ter any time, select stu dies. Sena for free Cata log for full Information Alien Moore, Prsi., Chllllcotlic, Mo. NURSING Graduate Nurses are In constant demand at GOOD PAY. Young ladies desirous of entering a Training School Address GERMAN AMERICAN HOSPITAL 1619 DIVERSEY BOULEVARD, (Jnlcago, III. Brain Leaks " ' Sin is sexless. Heaven is a reward, not a gift. The greatest luck, is born of pluck. Not all "high fliers" are aerialiste. It requires trials to make triumphs.- Honest sweat makes sweet slumber. Any coward can do tho popular thing. v An honest vote is the best medicine for the ills of the body politic. A life measured only by length of years is usually a life wasted. Speaking about good judges of hu man nature, how about a child and a dog? What some men believe to be a crisis in their lives is usually merely an incident. Men who pose in the limelight should be careful of what they do in the twilight. When a man begins "flying high" it is a pretty good sign that he hasn't been walking straight. A dollar-owned man is of less worth to the community than a man-owned dollaiv If there is anything more ridiculous than an old maid who tries to act giddy it is an old man who tries to act coltish. Why is it that tho average man finds a seat on the hard boards in the base ball grandstand softer and more comfortable than the cushioned pew in a church? Talking about the gentle art of dis simulation did you ever know a man equal to the task performed by many a woman who smilingly greets a dis agreeable caller at tho critical mo ment when the jelly refuses to "jell?" THE COST PF A PIANO? al.UI i w.. 1-ji iLLi--Z2LJJW"W ronwn Mil , tm A INUIU ' m4 mor e imiMK-twrt eeM J 4 the 4re ot MtttefaeMe Ht GABLER PIAN T,Tf TeMTfTl bmmlmifamthmimm V, (Wejiycw. ? OS " while neither the highest nor the lowest prices, arc unsurpassed by any instrument made in America or Europe In the service and satisf ac tion they Rive for each dollar expended. The "GABLER TONE" is famous, and the no-less-famous"GABLElt WORKMANSHIP" makes that tone permanent through generation after generation of use. A Qabler Is cheapest BECAUSE BEST. Investigate ERNEST GABLER & BRO. ESTABLISHED 18S4 . ' 600 Whitlock Ave.. Bronx Borough, N. Y. Oity The republicans of Tennessee nomi nated for governor H. C. Evans, form er commissioner of pensions, and re cently American consul general in London. HOMES FOR THOUSANDS One and a quarter million acres to be opened to settlement on the SHOSHONE RESERVATION Dates of registration July 10 to 31 EXCUR8ION RATE8 Less than one fare for the "round trip, dally July 12 to 29 via $20.00 s3 Round trip from Omaha, over the only all rail route from Omaha to Shos honi, Wyo., the reservation border. R. W. McGINNIS, General Agent, , Chicago & Northwestern Ry., Lincoln, Nebraska. Please send to my address pam phlets, maps and information concern ing tho opening of the Shoshone or Wind River reservation to settlement. (Cut out this Coupon) LA Hi I m 1 J auimiMimtmtofy' J, to n
