FROM A NOVEL.
She stood gazing into empty space.
A Bare Possibility.
In his diary, which is incorporated
in the “Life and Letters of Sir Richard
Claverhouse Jebb,” the great Greek
scholar recorded a flash of his own wit
which is of a most appealing variety.
At a dinner at Cambridge Sir Rich
ard, then Mr. Jebb, took in a young
woman, who got through the first
course with little conversation. Sud
denly she startled him by saying, in
the most unprovoked way. while she
was still dining with apparent good
appetite:
"Prof. Jebb. do you think women
ever die of a broken heart?”
"Perhaps other organs may have
something to do with it,” he proffered
in reply.—Youth's Companion.
Water, Water, Everywhere.
During the flood of 1903 an old
darky living in the East bottoms
awoke one morning to find his
premises four feet under water.
Later he W'as found by a party
of rescuers walking about the yard
prodding into the ground with a fish
ing pole. He was asked his purpose.
"Good gracious, men," said he,
"what do you think Ah am a-doin ? Ah
am tryin' to find mah dog-goned well
so Ah can git mahself a pail of watah."
Omaha Directory
FISHING TACKLE
piRE ARMS and Ammuni
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every description. Largest stock
of sporting goods in the west.
| Everything from a fish hook to a
' motor boat. Write for big free
illustrated catalogue.
Walter G. Clark Co.
• 1414 Harney Street
’ Box A63. OMAHA, NEBR.
Wholesale and retail
dealers in everything for
a Gentleman's table, including Tine Tm- C
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little item you are unable to obtain in your Home Town,
write us for prices on same, ae we will be sure to have it.
mail orders carefully tilled.
IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN
PURE FOOD PRODUCTS
AND TABLE PELfCACtES
* TtLEPHONCS
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GROCERY mt 4
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PRIVATE WIRE
J. E. von Dorn Commission Co.
Member Chicago Board of Trade and
Omaha Grain Exchange.
Grain, Provisions and Stocks
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for immediate or future deliver}’.
GRAIN BOUGHT AND SOLD in Car Lots.
Track bids made on any railroad.
Consignments Solicited.
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A GOOD PLACE to invest your money where
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fora one
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Itentai office in the Middle West. latest app!
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Dr*. Bailey i
DENTISTS
Best equipped
tpliances.
Do You Drink Coffee
M hy put the cheap, rank, bitter-flavored coffee in
your stomach when pure GERM AN-AM ERICAN
COFFEE costs no morel Insist on having It. Your
grocer shells It or can get it
Steel Culverts
Suitable for county roads and town streets
Write for information and prices.
SUNDERLAND CULVERT CO., Omaha, Neb.
KODAKS ■ FINISHING
Everything for the amateur. Largest wholesale stock in
tbs West. Send for catalogue. Mall orders a specialty
THE ROBERT DEMPSTER CO.. Boi 1197. Omaha
OMAHA WOOL & STORAGE CO.
SHIP Y O U R \Afft ftl to the Omaha mar
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returns. Ref., any Wl UUL bank in Omaha
TAFT’S DENTAL ROOMS
1511 Douglas St., OMAHA, NEB.
Reliable Dentistry at Moderate Price*.
CREAM WANTED
We are In a position to pay fancy prices for hand
separator cream at our station in your town or ship
direct to us at Omaha. THE kaiuiont (HLaukuy co.
VELIE "BST VEHICLES
ASK YOUR DEALER OR
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RUBBER GDDDS
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MYERS-OILLON DRUG CO.. OMAHA. NEBR.
AT NAPLES
The Fanny Thugs One Sees
in
Smiling Round the World
By
MARSHALL P. WILDER
(Copyright, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
We spent five days at Naples, and
filled every hour of it with sight-see
ing. Of course we stopped at Her
culaneum; but what can 1 add to the
tributes that have been paid to that
w-cnder of wonders? From its three
strata of towns have been exhumed
the rarest and choicest treasures that
adorn the Naples museum.
We walked upon the crust of the
seething volcano of Solfatara. now half
extinct—in fact, it has laid torpid for
seven centuries and is now spread
with lush vegetation in the spring
time, and the walk to it, at that sea
son, is through an inclosure like a
lovely park of winding alleys and flow
er-edged paths. Hut in January we
saw only the bare crust of the crater,
front whose cliffs came puffs of white
smoke, warnings that, at any moment,
its hidden fires might break forth. We
did not. as at Hawaii, drop our visit
ing cards into the clefts, only to see
them burst, into flame and consume
in a few seconds, for we were not so
curious about subterranean matters as
when we were fresh and green in
globe-trotting experiences; but we
ventured out in obedience to our
guide—in whom a long familiarity
with craters had doubtless bred con
tempt—to a few feet of the center. He
stamps upon it and says it is hollow,
it certainly appears so. He jumps
upon it, and the surface quivers. You
begin to feel creepy up and down your
spinal column, but, led on by liis ur
gent appeals aud assertions of "No
fear! not be 'fraid!" you follow him on
tip-toe to the very middle of the rock
ing thing, hoping with all your soul
that it will hold together until you are
safely off it. when you come to a hole
cut of which curls a little vapor and a
curious murmuring sound as of some
giant mumbling in his sleep. And that
is the moment in which you wish youi.
hadn't come. But you are induced to
lean over and peer down into the hole,
and are fascinated by the stirring apd
moving of boiling mud—horrid gray
mud that reminds you instantly of
Kipling’s "great, gray, greasy Limpopo
river," oniy this is a lake, but gray and
greasy enough in all conscience, and
seething and boiling in the vent-hole,
and rising and falling with the escap
ing gas that bubbles and bursts and
then collects and bursts again.
A moment or two of this and I was
glad to speed back to the solid earth
and to thank my stars that I hadn't
fallen through altogether.
Front Solfatara we looked down
upon Pozzuoli, once the port of Home,
whose wharves resounded with the
peaceful stir of commerce.
The lovely Bay of Baiae, that was
once lined with the palace-villas of
the wealthy Homans, much as New
port's shore is to-day, held our interest
for a couple of hours. We explored
the ruins of a castle built by a Span
ish viceroy which stands on the site
of Nero's villa; we compared it for
beauty to the lonely temple of Serapis
we had just left behind us near Poz
zuoli, long buried beneath the sea, to
be at last cast up by some mighty up
heaval of unseen internal force. The
beautiful, curved shore, "so beautiful
yet so deadly,” from the wilderness of
craters which abound there, fascinated
us completely. We lunched at a little
inn at Baiae. where we had some of
the famed wine of Posilipo and were
amused by the importunities of the
peasant beggars, who very success
fully wheedled us out of our spare cop
pers by their whines and wiles galore.
In Egypt it was “backsheesh:” in
our ears from morning till night;
throughout Europe cries of "pour
boire” and “trinkgeld" haunted one's
footsteps: but ancient little Naples
had a word all her own. It was
"Spaghetti” Simply that, and nothing
more. No last syllable, with crisp ac
cent; but the shortened, curt "Spa
ghetti” was hurled at us from every
corner and followed, with deafening
echoes, our vanishing carriage
wheels. "Spaghetti Spaghetti” Me
thinks I hear-it now; and 1 shall cer
tainly never eat spaghetti again with
out being reminded of this slogan of
the Neapolitan beggar.
Beside the Lucrine lake we stood
and conjured up the spot where the
villa of Agrippina, mother of Nero,
probably stood; but the thought of her
cruel murder at the hands of her mon
ster of a son did not mingle pleasantly
with the peaceful lapping of the waves
against the reeds, so we turned away
and asked to be taken to the Grotto
del Cane, or Dog Grotto, that amazing
sepulcher of animal hopes and fears
which year by year has drawn thou
sands of visitors to its rocky sides.
As if in keeping with its treacherous
fame the guide who shows you the
place is a full-fledged brigand, who,
"when work is slow," ekes out a sub
sistence by playing at guide. Ten to
one he has a little deg at his heels,
and thereby hangs a tale. While*you
listen to the guide the puppy looks at
you with blinking eyes and a grin of
confidence, the while his busy tail
seems to say, "I know you'll never put
me in that poisonous hole, will you?"
And you can’t keep your eyes off his
silly little face, until you find youiself
wondering if lie's like your little dog
at home, your far-away "Buster,”
whose friendly face and welcome bark
you have missed more than you would
care to say. Certainly this idiotic little
pup bears no outward resemblance to
your far-away Buster; but inwardly—
how about that? There lies a story.
Shall you tell it to the guide? No,
he’s a brigand and might demand a
ransom for permitting you to live;
for no doubt he'd rather kill you out
right than have you Jive to tell an
other story. Hurrah! now you've got
it—happy thought! You'll try it on
| **e do» Fixing him with your eye
you begin:
“The fleas bothered my cog so, I
concluded I'd teach ’em a lesson I
learned long ago, but never put in prac
tice. I sent and got a piece of liver
and put it near the dog. The fleas all
hopped onto it and stuck. Just as I
was getting ready to throw it in the
Are I turned my back a moment and
the dog ate the liver, fleas and all.
Now, he's fleas lined."
But about the Dog Grotto. Well, it's
filled with carbonic acid gas, and for
generations guides have made money
out of tourists by shoving some poor
little canine into the cave and keep
ing him there until his legs began to
totter and his head to whirl, when
they would haul him out and souse
him in the near-by lake until he re
vived; and revive he must, for was
there not another tourists' carriage
coming down the hill? But sometimes
doggie didn't revive. Well, he was
only a dog, and there had been in
stances where men had perished in the
foul-smelling cave. But that was ages
ago. There was a French king who
brought a donkey to the grotto and
tried the effect of the gas on him. The
animal died. But why the king tried it
on a donkey I don't, know, unless that
a fellow-feeling makes us—but, no—I
won't. Then there was an early Span
ish viceroy who wanted to decide
whether the gas was in prime, condi
tion or not, so he put two of his slaves
in the cave and they were brought out
dead. Spoke well for the gas, at any
rate.
Nowadays the question as to the
virtue of the gas is more humanely
settled. The guide takes a burning
torch and plunges it into the cave.
Instantly it goes out. But if the act is
repeated several times the gas. im
pregnated with smolfty “assumes the
appearance of a silver sea. flowing in
rippling waves against the black wall
of the cavern." A good story is told
of the guides of that region. As a mat
ter of fact they are wholly unreliable,
with their high-sounding names of
this broken wall or that defaced in
scription.
It is said that they keep a little dog
which they offer up as u sacrifice on
the altar of the tourist's curiosity.
"Shall I throw him in?" they will
ask the visitor; and if he be of a hu
mane disposition he will quickly re
ply, "Certainly not! What d' you think
I am?"
And the guide will say—making a
shrewd guess—“1 teenk you are Ameri
can. Englees he say, ‘Yaas, bah
Jove, t row leetle beggar een!"
But once there came along aa
American, whom the guide took to be
English, and when he asked, "Shall I
Crow leetle beggar een?" the Ameri
can replied:
“If you do, I'll throw your d—d car
cass in after him!"
The thing to do while at Naples is
to go to the pink coral grotto, so to !
the pink coral grotto we went. It lies j
between the Bay of Pozzuoli and that
special little bay where Pliny kept his
navy. We went out in a boat with
four rowers, the chief of whom gave
us large bunches of taffy about our
country—"beeyuteeful America." "fine
New York," etc.—he had traveled, oh,
yes! he had been to Jib-later (Gibral
tar) and to America—"beeyuteeful
country!" etc., until it came time to
return, when the fellow demanded
that we pay them a franc each then
and there, instead of the equivalent of
ten cents each on the return to the
shore. Upon refusal he worked him
self up into a hysterical sort of
paroxysm, and shrieked: "No! not
shore! In de boat! In de boat! But my
American nerve rose to the occasion
and I flatly refused, notwithstanding
that the situation began to get
strained, to put it mildly. Sulkily he
gave in, an;] gave the command to re
turn to land, and slowly we were pro
pelled—so slowly, indeed, that I had
serious misgivings that we were to
spend the night upon the darkening
sea, while the muttered abuse of our
country—"Vile country—people vil
lains—dirty New York—America all
thieves!"—made me long to knock the
rascal overboard and have done with
him. However, as we approached the
shore they became more civil and, as
we alighted—glad to be back with a
whole skin—they bowed and scraped,
cap in hand, begging for a settlement
at once. But no, the game was now in
my hand, and marching up to the ho
tel I demanded of the manager how it
was that he sent his guests out with
a parcel of rascals and extortionists,
terrifying hapless foreigners and in
dulging in foul abuse of their country,
etc., etc. He rolled his eyes to
heaven and protested that he knew
nothing of such methods; they were
honest fellows, and hard-working, and,
by the Madonna and all the saints! he
had no knowledge of such iniquities;
it was incredible, impossible! etc., etc.
“Here!" said I, "here is your money,
according to the agreement I made
with you. 1 will pay no extra extor
tion, nor be terrified into doing so.
And, furtaermore, for the protection of
my countrymen. 1 will publish far and
wide, i will print in every newspaper
of America the name of your hotel and
the rascally doings of your em
ployes— ’
I got no further, for the fellow, with
a howl of anguish, fell upon his knees
and with clasped hands implored me
not to "put it in de paper—not to ruin
hem!—hees famlee, dey starve! Do
not put in de paper!”
Suppressing the laughter which his
ridiculous terror evoked I consented
to relent and peace was restored.
When we entered our carriage the
rowers were waiting cap in hand,
quite civil and ingratiating; but I ig
nored' them completely, and we drove
off, followed by a storm of curses and
maledictions hurled at the American
whom they found they couldn't bluff.
Cigar “leafers" have been busy up
and down the country during the past
few weeks, collecting dead chestnut
leaves for the making of cheap cigars.
Armed with a long spike, the expert
"leafer seeks the most perfect speci
mens of chestnut leaves, selecting only
those of a darkish brown color. The
leaves are soaked in tobacco juice and
made into cigars, which sell at a penny
each. The outside leaf of these smokes
—which rejoice in some such cogno
men among the elite of Whitechapel
as “Flor de Cabbage"—is generally of
real tobacco. During the "leafing”
season an expert “leafer" can make BO
shillings a week.—P. T. O.
STRONG ON THE PROPRIETIES.
How Could She Be Expected to Ad
dress Perfect Stranger?
A traveler in the mountains of Ten
nessee had been stowed away in the
best bed the cottege afforded. Late
in the night he was awakened by the
voice of the paterfamilias addressed
to the daughter, who-was entertaining
company by the fireside.
“Mandy,” growled the old man, “is
that young man there vit?”
“Yep, pap.”
“Is he got his arm around yer
waist ?”
“Yep, pap.”
“You-all tell him to take't away.”
“Aw, ye tell him yerself, pap," re
plied the girl, in a dull, lifeless voice.
“He air a plumb stranger to me."—
Success Magazine.
INVALID’S SAD PLIGHT.
After Inflammatory Rheumatism, Hair
Came Out, Skin Peeled, and Bed
Sores Developed—Only Cuti
cura Proved Successful.
“About four years ago I had a very
severe attack of inflammatory rheuma
tism. My skin peeled, and the high
fever played havoc with my hair,
which came out in bunches. I/also
had three large bed sores on my back.
I did not gain very rapidly, and my
appetite was very poor. I tried many
'sure cures' but they were of little
help, and until I tried Cuticura Re
solvent I had had no real relief. Then
my complexion cleared and soon I felt
better. The bed sores went very soon
after a few applications of Cuticura
Ointment, and when I used Cuti
cura Soap and Ointment for my hair
it began to regain its former glossy ap
pearance. Mrs. Lavina J. Henderson,
138 Broad St., Stamford. Conn., March |
6 and 12, 1907.”
“Internal Revenue” Collections.
The term ' internal revenue" has
been restricted in its meaning to such
revenues only as are collected under
the internal revenue bureau con
nected with the treasury department,
and does not include all revenues that
are, properly speaking, from internal
sources, that is. from sources other
than duties levied at the frontiers
upon foreign commodities. Thus,
moneys arising from the sale of public
lands, from [latent fees, or the reve
nues of the postal service, are not gen
erally known as "internal revenues.”
An Important Line.
“She is a most accomplished wo
man."
"Is she?
“Why. have you heard her sing?”
"Yes."
“And seen' her paintings?"*
“Yes."
“Then how can you ask?”
“I have never tasted her pies.”
HOT ONIONS FOR PNEUMONIA.
Oread Disease Robbed of Its Terrors
by Simple Remedy.
Owing to the prevalence of pneu
monia and the great mortality which
attends its ravages during the winter
and spring, several boards of health
in northern New Jersey have been tak
ing measures to protect the citizens of
their towns from the disease. The
health board of Washington, N. J., has
published a remedy which is said to
be a sure cure for pneumonia, and
other health boards are looking into
the matter with a view of having the
same thing published for the good of
the general public. This is the pub
lication as it has appeared in the pa
pers of Washington:
"Take six or ten onions, according
to size, and chop fine, put in a large
spider over a hot fire, then add the
same quantity of rye meal and vine
gar enough to form a thick paste. In
the meanwhile stir it thoroughly, let
ting it simmer five or ten minutes.
Then put in a cotton bag large enough
to cover the lungs and apply to chest
as hot as patient can bear. In about
ten minutes apply another, and thus
continue by reheating the poultices,
and in a few hours the patient will be
out of danger. This simple remedy
has never failed to cure this too-often
fatal malady. Usually three or four
applications will be sufficient, but con
tinue always until the perspiration
starts freely from the chest. This rem
edy was formulated many years ago
by one of the best physicians New
England has ever known, who never
lost a patient by the disease, and won
his renown by simple remedies.”
A Family Matter.
Eph was before the high court of
justice for the usual offense.
“Now, look here. Eph,” said the
judge in an admonitory way, “don't
you know it is wrong to steal chick
ens?”
" 'Deed I does, jedge. I's a plunged
Baptis, I is.”
“Then why did you steal those
chickens?"
“Dev wuzn't chickens, jedge; dey
wuz ducks." ^
“That makes no difference.”
“'Beed it do, jedge," Eph pleaded.,
"Ducks is kinder kinfolks to us Bap
tises, an' it's all in de fam'ly, stih.”
Severe Reproach.
"Charley, dear.” said young Mrs.
Torkins. "I had a dream about a race
horse that won three times in succes
sion.”
“Great Scott," answered her hus
band, who has a touch of superstition;
“what was its name, what did it look
like?”
"I’ve done my best to remember, but
I can't.”
“That's the way! There never was
a woman who could be relied on to
keep her head in business matters!"
WISE CHE-ILD.
“That horse must love hts work,
uncle.”
“Why so, Egbert?”
“He's so attached *o the wagon.”
Nothing to Speak Of.
“You are to take these capsules,”
raid Dr. Fussy, “before meals, not
after, remember.”
"Oh!” said the patient. ”1 guess it
doesn't matter much.”
“But it does matter, sir!”
“You wouldn't say that, doctor, if
you had ever had a meal in our board
ing house.”—Catholic Standard and
Times.
SISK HEADA0HE
rosittvely cured by
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They also relieve Di^
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Eat in s'. A perfect rem
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Taste in the Mouth, Coat
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Side, TORPID LIVER.
They regulate the Bowels. Purely Vegetable
SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE,
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IVER
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REFUSE SUBSTITUTES
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Splendid Railroad Facilities and Low Rates.
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Good Climate and Perfect Health.
Chances for Profitable Investments.
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by which entry may be made by proxy (on cer
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Entry fee in ea^h caw is$i0.00. For pamphlet.
“East Best West. ’ pa rtieularsaat orates, route?*,
best time to go at.d where to locate, apply to
W.V. DEM NETT.
801 New Tort Life Building. Oonfct. Nebrssl*.
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»t3^8M35SKS^
Used on All Farm Buildings
y. gl r * do,es not crack> curl or rot* Unlike tin or galvanized iron, it does not rust hw
off or deteriorate. It needs no repairs and lasts as long as the budding. * ’ b ow
Heppes No-Tar Roofing
Better Than Shingles—Costs 50% Less
The Popularity of Hep pee No- Tar Roofing extends from ocean to ocean. Ours is the fastest-growing
roof in a business in ths world. Dealers everywhere sell our roofing. ... , , ...
It is made from the strongest wool felt, water-proofed, and made fire-resisting by being soaked with
pure^asphalts' and'reinforced’with coat.ngs of Asphalt, Flint and Mica, under tremendous heat and
oressure. Its cool, gray stone color is pleasing to the eye. , . , ,
^ Hermes No-Tar Roofing is put up in compact rolls 36 inches wide, and in 1-ply, 2-ply and 3-ply
weights" Eac^Xomainf two “squares” or 216 square feet. Each “square” is guaranteed to cover
lOO^auare feet of surface, including a 2-inch overlap. (It is also put up in 1-square rolls.)
100 seams and Pres Largs-healed Nads, with Instruction,, ars packed in the
Aoffow center ofjachrolL ^asy to roofing now on the market which
Warning!
It d0M not contain wood pulp, or rosin, or oil.
Send today for Free Roofers Boom.
mnm,__i guaranted to be free from Tar.
"No-Tar is not an “imitation" roofing—it’s the real thins I
FREE SAMPLES of Heppes No-Tar Roofing and Ten Tests to tell the
quality of any roofing. Address
The Heppes Company, 639 South 45th Ave., Chicago, 111.
HARDWARE AND LUMBER DEALERS can make profitable connections with us in
towns where we have no distributors* Write. Goods shipped from our warehouses at
•11 principal Railroad distributing centers, making possible quick deliveries and low freight. r
