FROM A NOVEL. She stood gazing into empty space. A Bare Possibility. In his diary, which is incorporated in the “Life and Letters of Sir Richard Claverhouse Jebb,” the great Greek scholar recorded a flash of his own wit which is of a most appealing variety. At a dinner at Cambridge Sir Rich ard, then Mr. Jebb, took in a young woman, who got through the first course with little conversation. Sud denly she startled him by saying, in the most unprovoked way. while she was still dining with apparent good appetite: "Prof. Jebb. do you think women ever die of a broken heart?” "Perhaps other organs may have something to do with it,” he proffered in reply.—Youth's Companion. Water, Water, Everywhere. During the flood of 1903 an old darky living in the East bottoms awoke one morning to find his premises four feet under water. Later he W'as found by a party of rescuers walking about the yard prodding into the ground with a fish ing pole. He was asked his purpose. "Good gracious, men," said he, "what do you think Ah am a-doin ? Ah am tryin' to find mah dog-goned well so Ah can git mahself a pail of watah." Omaha Directory FISHING TACKLE piRE ARMS and Ammuni tion, Athletic Supplier, Base (Ball, Golr and Tennis Goods of every description. Largest stock of sporting goods in the west. | Everything from a fish hook to a ' motor boat. Write for big free illustrated catalogue. Walter G. Clark Co. • 1414 Harney Street ’ Box A63. OMAHA, NEBR. Wholesale and retail dealers in everything for a Gentleman's table, including Tine Tm- C ported Table Delicacies. If there is any little item you are unable to obtain in your Home Town, write us for prices on same, ae we will be sure to have it. mail orders carefully tilled. IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN PURE FOOD PRODUCTS AND TABLE PELfCACtES * TtLEPHONCS Market s:b i GROCERY mt 4 rOl,RT\EY a CO., Omuha, Nebr. PRIVATE WIRE J. E. von Dorn Commission Co. Member Chicago Board of Trade and Omaha Grain Exchange. Grain, Provisions and Stocks Bought and Sold for immediate or future deliver}’. GRAIN BOUGHT AND SOLD in Car Lots. Track bids made on any railroad. Consignments Solicited. 700-701-776 Brandois Bldg., Omaha Trlrpbone*: Bril l><>uxla* 102*.! and 1«}4. into. .42221. 5E.ND FOR CATALOGUE. N?IJ1 OMAHATENT&AWNING GO. OMAHA-N CBR. ' - ■ fHHAUA the brightest USVIARH SPOT ON THE MAP A GOOD PLACE to invest your money where you can get from 6% to 10% On Improved Properties Write Us How Much You Have to Invest HASTINGS and HEYDEN 1704 Farnam St. Omaha9 Nobp. it ry them, mail fora one ■'ffiSw'S? Chocolates SS we will deliver them to your door. 1). •1.0’KK1K!V t*ntistrv. Reasonable prices. Dr*. Bailey i DENTISTS Best equipped tpliances. Do You Drink Coffee M hy put the cheap, rank, bitter-flavored coffee in your stomach when pure GERM AN-AM ERICAN COFFEE costs no morel Insist on having It. Your grocer shells It or can get it Steel Culverts Suitable for county roads and town streets Write for information and prices. SUNDERLAND CULVERT CO., Omaha, Neb. KODAKS ■ FINISHING Everything for the amateur. Largest wholesale stock in tbs West. Send for catalogue. Mall orders a specialty THE ROBERT DEMPSTER CO.. Boi 1197. Omaha OMAHA WOOL & STORAGE CO. SHIP Y O U R \Afft ftl to the Omaha mar ket to get better lflf I IIII prices and quick returns. Ref., any Wl UUL bank in Omaha TAFT’S DENTAL ROOMS 1511 Douglas St., OMAHA, NEB. Reliable Dentistry at Moderate Price*. CREAM WANTED We are In a position to pay fancy prices for hand separator cream at our station in your town or ship direct to us at Omaha. THE kaiuiont (HLaukuy co. VELIE "BST VEHICLES ASK YOUR DEALER OR JOHN DEERE PLOW CO. RUBBER GDDDS bv mall at cut prices. Send for free catalogue. MYERS-OILLON DRUG CO.. OMAHA. NEBR. AT NAPLES The Fanny Thugs One Sees in Smiling Round the World By MARSHALL P. WILDER (Copyright, by Joseph B. Bowles.) We spent five days at Naples, and filled every hour of it with sight-see ing. Of course we stopped at Her culaneum; but what can 1 add to the tributes that have been paid to that w-cnder of wonders? From its three strata of towns have been exhumed the rarest and choicest treasures that adorn the Naples museum. We walked upon the crust of the seething volcano of Solfatara. now half extinct—in fact, it has laid torpid for seven centuries and is now spread with lush vegetation in the spring time, and the walk to it, at that sea son, is through an inclosure like a lovely park of winding alleys and flow er-edged paths. Hut in January we saw only the bare crust of the crater, front whose cliffs came puffs of white smoke, warnings that, at any moment, its hidden fires might break forth. We did not. as at Hawaii, drop our visit ing cards into the clefts, only to see them burst, into flame and consume in a few seconds, for we were not so curious about subterranean matters as when we were fresh and green in globe-trotting experiences; but we ventured out in obedience to our guide—in whom a long familiarity with craters had doubtless bred con tempt—to a few feet of the center. He stamps upon it and says it is hollow, it certainly appears so. He jumps upon it, and the surface quivers. You begin to feel creepy up and down your spinal column, but, led on by liis ur gent appeals aud assertions of "No fear! not be 'fraid!" you follow him on tip-toe to the very middle of the rock ing thing, hoping with all your soul that it will hold together until you are safely off it. when you come to a hole cut of which curls a little vapor and a curious murmuring sound as of some giant mumbling in his sleep. And that is the moment in which you wish youi. hadn't come. But you are induced to lean over and peer down into the hole, and are fascinated by the stirring apd moving of boiling mud—horrid gray mud that reminds you instantly of Kipling’s "great, gray, greasy Limpopo river," oniy this is a lake, but gray and greasy enough in all conscience, and seething and boiling in the vent-hole, and rising and falling with the escap ing gas that bubbles and bursts and then collects and bursts again. A moment or two of this and I was glad to speed back to the solid earth and to thank my stars that I hadn't fallen through altogether. Front Solfatara we looked down upon Pozzuoli, once the port of Home, whose wharves resounded with the peaceful stir of commerce. The lovely Bay of Baiae, that was once lined with the palace-villas of the wealthy Homans, much as New port's shore is to-day, held our interest for a couple of hours. We explored the ruins of a castle built by a Span ish viceroy which stands on the site of Nero's villa; we compared it for beauty to the lonely temple of Serapis we had just left behind us near Poz zuoli, long buried beneath the sea, to be at last cast up by some mighty up heaval of unseen internal force. The beautiful, curved shore, "so beautiful yet so deadly,” from the wilderness of craters which abound there, fascinated us completely. We lunched at a little inn at Baiae. where we had some of the famed wine of Posilipo and were amused by the importunities of the peasant beggars, who very success fully wheedled us out of our spare cop pers by their whines and wiles galore. In Egypt it was “backsheesh:” in our ears from morning till night; throughout Europe cries of "pour boire” and “trinkgeld" haunted one's footsteps: but ancient little Naples had a word all her own. It was "Spaghetti” Simply that, and nothing more. No last syllable, with crisp ac cent; but the shortened, curt "Spa ghetti” was hurled at us from every corner and followed, with deafening echoes, our vanishing carriage wheels. "Spaghetti Spaghetti” Me thinks I hear-it now; and 1 shall cer tainly never eat spaghetti again with out being reminded of this slogan of the Neapolitan beggar. Beside the Lucrine lake we stood and conjured up the spot where the villa of Agrippina, mother of Nero, probably stood; but the thought of her cruel murder at the hands of her mon ster of a son did not mingle pleasantly with the peaceful lapping of the waves against the reeds, so we turned away and asked to be taken to the Grotto del Cane, or Dog Grotto, that amazing sepulcher of animal hopes and fears which year by year has drawn thou sands of visitors to its rocky sides. As if in keeping with its treacherous fame the guide who shows you the place is a full-fledged brigand, who, "when work is slow," ekes out a sub sistence by playing at guide. Ten to one he has a little deg at his heels, and thereby hangs a tale. While*you listen to the guide the puppy looks at you with blinking eyes and a grin of confidence, the while his busy tail seems to say, "I know you'll never put me in that poisonous hole, will you?" And you can’t keep your eyes off his silly little face, until you find youiself wondering if lie's like your little dog at home, your far-away "Buster,” whose friendly face and welcome bark you have missed more than you would care to say. Certainly this idiotic little pup bears no outward resemblance to your far-away Buster; but inwardly— how about that? There lies a story. Shall you tell it to the guide? No, he’s a brigand and might demand a ransom for permitting you to live; for no doubt he'd rather kill you out right than have you Jive to tell an other story. Hurrah! now you've got it—happy thought! You'll try it on | **e do» Fixing him with your eye you begin: “The fleas bothered my cog so, I concluded I'd teach ’em a lesson I learned long ago, but never put in prac tice. I sent and got a piece of liver and put it near the dog. The fleas all hopped onto it and stuck. Just as I was getting ready to throw it in the Are I turned my back a moment and the dog ate the liver, fleas and all. Now, he's fleas lined." But about the Dog Grotto. Well, it's filled with carbonic acid gas, and for generations guides have made money out of tourists by shoving some poor little canine into the cave and keep ing him there until his legs began to totter and his head to whirl, when they would haul him out and souse him in the near-by lake until he re vived; and revive he must, for was there not another tourists' carriage coming down the hill? But sometimes doggie didn't revive. Well, he was only a dog, and there had been in stances where men had perished in the foul-smelling cave. But that was ages ago. There was a French king who brought a donkey to the grotto and tried the effect of the gas on him. The animal died. But why the king tried it on a donkey I don't, know, unless that a fellow-feeling makes us—but, no—I won't. Then there was an early Span ish viceroy who wanted to decide whether the gas was in prime, condi tion or not, so he put two of his slaves in the cave and they were brought out dead. Spoke well for the gas, at any rate. Nowadays the question as to the virtue of the gas is more humanely settled. The guide takes a burning torch and plunges it into the cave. Instantly it goes out. But if the act is repeated several times the gas. im pregnated with smolfty “assumes the appearance of a silver sea. flowing in rippling waves against the black wall of the cavern." A good story is told of the guides of that region. As a mat ter of fact they are wholly unreliable, with their high-sounding names of this broken wall or that defaced in scription. It is said that they keep a little dog which they offer up as u sacrifice on the altar of the tourist's curiosity. "Shall I throw him in?" they will ask the visitor; and if he be of a hu mane disposition he will quickly re ply, "Certainly not! What d' you think I am?" And the guide will say—making a shrewd guess—“1 teenk you are Ameri can. Englees he say, ‘Yaas, bah Jove, t row leetle beggar een!" But once there came along aa American, whom the guide took to be English, and when he asked, "Shall I Crow leetle beggar een?" the Ameri can replied: “If you do, I'll throw your d—d car cass in after him!" The thing to do while at Naples is to go to the pink coral grotto, so to ! the pink coral grotto we went. It lies j between the Bay of Pozzuoli and that special little bay where Pliny kept his navy. We went out in a boat with four rowers, the chief of whom gave us large bunches of taffy about our country—"beeyuteeful America." "fine New York," etc.—he had traveled, oh, yes! he had been to Jib-later (Gibral tar) and to America—"beeyuteeful country!" etc., until it came time to return, when the fellow demanded that we pay them a franc each then and there, instead of the equivalent of ten cents each on the return to the shore. Upon refusal he worked him self up into a hysterical sort of paroxysm, and shrieked: "No! not shore! In de boat! In de boat! But my American nerve rose to the occasion and I flatly refused, notwithstanding that the situation began to get strained, to put it mildly. Sulkily he gave in, an;] gave the command to re turn to land, and slowly we were pro pelled—so slowly, indeed, that I had serious misgivings that we were to spend the night upon the darkening sea, while the muttered abuse of our country—"Vile country—people vil lains—dirty New York—America all thieves!"—made me long to knock the rascal overboard and have done with him. However, as we approached the shore they became more civil and, as we alighted—glad to be back with a whole skin—they bowed and scraped, cap in hand, begging for a settlement at once. But no, the game was now in my hand, and marching up to the ho tel I demanded of the manager how it was that he sent his guests out with a parcel of rascals and extortionists, terrifying hapless foreigners and in dulging in foul abuse of their country, etc., etc. He rolled his eyes to heaven and protested that he knew nothing of such methods; they were honest fellows, and hard-working, and, by the Madonna and all the saints! he had no knowledge of such iniquities; it was incredible, impossible! etc., etc. “Here!" said I, "here is your money, according to the agreement I made with you. 1 will pay no extra extor tion, nor be terrified into doing so. And, furtaermore, for the protection of my countrymen. 1 will publish far and wide, i will print in every newspaper of America the name of your hotel and the rascally doings of your em ployes— ’ I got no further, for the fellow, with a howl of anguish, fell upon his knees and with clasped hands implored me not to "put it in de paper—not to ruin hem!—hees famlee, dey starve! Do not put in de paper!” Suppressing the laughter which his ridiculous terror evoked I consented to relent and peace was restored. When we entered our carriage the rowers were waiting cap in hand, quite civil and ingratiating; but I ig nored' them completely, and we drove off, followed by a storm of curses and maledictions hurled at the American whom they found they couldn't bluff. Cigar “leafers" have been busy up and down the country during the past few weeks, collecting dead chestnut leaves for the making of cheap cigars. Armed with a long spike, the expert "leafer seeks the most perfect speci mens of chestnut leaves, selecting only those of a darkish brown color. The leaves are soaked in tobacco juice and made into cigars, which sell at a penny each. The outside leaf of these smokes —which rejoice in some such cogno men among the elite of Whitechapel as “Flor de Cabbage"—is generally of real tobacco. During the "leafing” season an expert “leafer" can make BO shillings a week.—P. T. O. STRONG ON THE PROPRIETIES. How Could She Be Expected to Ad dress Perfect Stranger? A traveler in the mountains of Ten nessee had been stowed away in the best bed the cottege afforded. Late in the night he was awakened by the voice of the paterfamilias addressed to the daughter, who-was entertaining company by the fireside. “Mandy,” growled the old man, “is that young man there vit?” “Yep, pap.” “Is he got his arm around yer waist ?” “Yep, pap.” “You-all tell him to take't away.” “Aw, ye tell him yerself, pap," re plied the girl, in a dull, lifeless voice. “He air a plumb stranger to me."— Success Magazine. INVALID’S SAD PLIGHT. After Inflammatory Rheumatism, Hair Came Out, Skin Peeled, and Bed Sores Developed—Only Cuti cura Proved Successful. “About four years ago I had a very severe attack of inflammatory rheuma tism. My skin peeled, and the high fever played havoc with my hair, which came out in bunches. I/also had three large bed sores on my back. I did not gain very rapidly, and my appetite was very poor. I tried many 'sure cures' but they were of little help, and until I tried Cuticura Re solvent I had had no real relief. Then my complexion cleared and soon I felt better. The bed sores went very soon after a few applications of Cuticura Ointment, and when I used Cuti cura Soap and Ointment for my hair it began to regain its former glossy ap pearance. Mrs. Lavina J. Henderson, 138 Broad St., Stamford. Conn., March | 6 and 12, 1907.” “Internal Revenue” Collections. The term ' internal revenue" has been restricted in its meaning to such revenues only as are collected under the internal revenue bureau con nected with the treasury department, and does not include all revenues that are, properly speaking, from internal sources, that is. from sources other than duties levied at the frontiers upon foreign commodities. Thus, moneys arising from the sale of public lands, from [latent fees, or the reve nues of the postal service, are not gen erally known as "internal revenues.” An Important Line. “She is a most accomplished wo man." "Is she? “Why. have you heard her sing?” "Yes." “And seen' her paintings?"* “Yes." “Then how can you ask?” “I have never tasted her pies.” HOT ONIONS FOR PNEUMONIA. Oread Disease Robbed of Its Terrors by Simple Remedy. Owing to the prevalence of pneu monia and the great mortality which attends its ravages during the winter and spring, several boards of health in northern New Jersey have been tak ing measures to protect the citizens of their towns from the disease. The health board of Washington, N. J., has published a remedy which is said to be a sure cure for pneumonia, and other health boards are looking into the matter with a view of having the same thing published for the good of the general public. This is the pub lication as it has appeared in the pa pers of Washington: "Take six or ten onions, according to size, and chop fine, put in a large spider over a hot fire, then add the same quantity of rye meal and vine gar enough to form a thick paste. In the meanwhile stir it thoroughly, let ting it simmer five or ten minutes. Then put in a cotton bag large enough to cover the lungs and apply to chest as hot as patient can bear. In about ten minutes apply another, and thus continue by reheating the poultices, and in a few hours the patient will be out of danger. This simple remedy has never failed to cure this too-often fatal malady. Usually three or four applications will be sufficient, but con tinue always until the perspiration starts freely from the chest. This rem edy was formulated many years ago by one of the best physicians New England has ever known, who never lost a patient by the disease, and won his renown by simple remedies.” A Family Matter. Eph was before the high court of justice for the usual offense. “Now, look here. Eph,” said the judge in an admonitory way, “don't you know it is wrong to steal chick ens?” " 'Deed I does, jedge. I's a plunged Baptis, I is.” “Then why did you steal those chickens?" “Dev wuzn't chickens, jedge; dey wuz ducks." ^ “That makes no difference.” “'Beed it do, jedge," Eph pleaded., "Ducks is kinder kinfolks to us Bap tises, an' it's all in de fam'ly, stih.” Severe Reproach. "Charley, dear.” said young Mrs. Torkins. "I had a dream about a race horse that won three times in succes sion.” “Great Scott," answered her hus band, who has a touch of superstition; “what was its name, what did it look like?” "I’ve done my best to remember, but I can't.” “That's the way! There never was a woman who could be relied on to keep her head in business matters!" WISE CHE-ILD. “That horse must love hts work, uncle.” “Why so, Egbert?” “He's so attached *o the wagon.” Nothing to Speak Of. “You are to take these capsules,” raid Dr. Fussy, “before meals, not after, remember.” "Oh!” said the patient. ”1 guess it doesn't matter much.” “But it does matter, sir!” “You wouldn't say that, doctor, if you had ever had a meal in our board ing house.”—Catholic Standard and Times. SISK HEADA0HE rosittvely cured by these Little Pilis. They also relieve Di^ tress from Dyspepsia, la digestion a ad Too Hearty Eat in s'. A perfect rem edy for Dizziness, Nau sea. Drowsiness, Bad Taste in the Mouth, Coat ed Tongue, Pain in the Side, TORPID LIVER. They regulate the Bowels. Purely Vegetable SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE, CARTERS SlTTLE IVER PILLS. Genuine Must Bear Fae-Simile Signature REFUSE SUBSTITUTES What a Settler Can Secure In WESTERN CANADA 160 Acres Grain-Growing Land FREE. 20 to 40 Bushels Wheat to the Acre. 40 to 90 Bushels Oats to the Acre. 35 to 50 Bushels Barley to the Acre. Timber for Fencing and Buildings FREE. Good I aws with Low Taxation Splendid Railroad Facilities and Low Rates. Schools and Churches Convenient. Satisfactory Markets for all Productions. Good Climate and Perfect Health. Chances for Profitable Investments. Some of the choicest grain-producing lands in Baska’ohewan and Alberta may now be ac quired in these most healthful and prosperous sections under the Revised Homestead Regulations by which entry may be made by proxy (on cer tain conditions), by the father, mother, sun, daughter, brother or sister of intending home steader. Entry fee in ea^h caw is$i0.00. For pamphlet. “East Best West. ’ pa rtieularsaat orates, route?*, best time to go at.d where to locate, apply to W.V. DEM NETT. 801 New Tort Life Building. Oonfct. Nebrssl*. TOILET ANTISEPTIC Keeps the breath, teeth, mouth and body p.ntisepticaliy clean and free from un healthy gerrn-life and disagreeable odors, which water, soap and tooth preparations alone cannot do. A germicidal, disin fecting and deodor izing toilet requisite of exceptional ex cellence and econ omy. Invaluable for inflamed eyes, throat and nasal and uterine catarrh. At drug and toilet stores, 50 cents, or by mail postpaid. Large Trial Sample WITH "HEALTH AND BCA’JTV ACOH BENT POCK THE PAXTON TOiLET CO., Boston, Mast A DAISY FLY KILLER LASTS THE EN TIRE SEASON It load a every, thin? for destroy tnK dies. Is neat [dean and nrrm i mental *old l*> all dealers nei.» by mail |H>*tp»t rook It n, V Y. and HAY FEVER POSITIVELY CCHED by KINMONTH S ASTHMA CURE Over3000 patients cur*» 1 during the past 3 years. A 50cent trial bottle .sent to anr address on lerciptof 26 cts. DK. ii.S. KIXMONT1I, As jury 1'arttN.J. DEFiANGE STIRCH-1L7.?^ —other starches only 12 ounces—sume price and ••DEFIANCE'* IS SUPERIOR QUALITY. Be Your Own Wall Flashing See ^Roof Book Patfe 13 Volley See Roof Book Fatfe 13 Chimney Flashing ^ Sm Roof Book Fait 15 Over Old Shingles See Roof Sort Pate S Write Today £or Heppes Hosiers5 Book FREE c4.sk for a free copy of Heppes Roofers ’ Book, worth dollars to any property owner or builder. This book is a practical handbook that teaches you how to lay a Heppes No-Tar Roof on any kind of a building—bam, shed, granary, residence, store, dairy bam, silo, poultry house, ice house, crib or outbuilding. It tells Hew to Measure a Roof; How to Make “Valleys” and “Gutters"; How to Lay Hoppes No-Tar Roofing Around Chimneys(“Chimney Flashing”),or over old Shingle Roofs, or up against the side of a build ing with a fire-wall (“Wall Flashing”),or how to apply No-Tar to the sides or interior of buildings, and a great many other practical points. 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(It is also put up in 1-square rolls.) 100 seams and Pres Largs-healed Nads, with Instruction,, ars packed in the Aoffow center ofjachrolL ^asy to roofing now on the market which Warning! It d0M not contain wood pulp, or rosin, or oil. Send today for Free Roofers Boom. mnm,__i guaranted to be free from Tar. "No-Tar is not an “imitation" roofing—it’s the real thins I FREE SAMPLES of Heppes No-Tar Roofing and Ten Tests to tell the quality of any roofing. Address The Heppes Company, 639 South 45th Ave., Chicago, 111. HARDWARE AND LUMBER DEALERS can make profitable connections with us in towns where we have no distributors* Write. Goods shipped from our warehouses at •11 principal Railroad distributing centers, making possible quick deliveries and low freight. r