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About The Loup City northwestern. (Loup City, Neb.) 189?-1917 | View Entire Issue (June 4, 1908)
Loup City Northwestern J. W. BURLEIGH, Publisher. LOUP CITY. - - NEBP_4.SK A. The Road to Content. It is frequently said that a family can live for much less in England than in America, although the detailsxnre seldom given in support of the state ment. A committee of representative English workingmen, which visited America not long ago, has reported that there is practically no difference in the price of food in the two coun tries, and that in some parts of Eng land provisions are more expensive than in Xew York. Rent is higher here than in Great Britain. But even with the greater rent the American workingman is better off, for his wages are so much higher than those paid on the other side that, as the committee has reported, the American can save two dollars as easily as the English man 50 cents. The contented workman is the one who saves 50 cents or two dollars, rather than the one who com plains that his wages are so small that he can save nothing. The newspapers noted the death the other day of a man in Scotland who had never earned more than eight dollars a week, yet had educated two of his Gve chil dren well enough for them to enter the learned professions, and had a surplus of movable property worth $2,000. There is in a Xew England town, re lates the Youths' Companion, a shoe worker who, when he was a young man, resolved that he would save enough out of his wages to be able to retire and live on his interest at the age of 60. He retired at the age of 58. with a home and a competency; yet he never received mote than $15 a week. It is men of this type the world over who are the bone and sinew of their respective countries. In democracies such as England and America they control in a real sense the national policies. The cost of living does not trouble them very much, for they have schooled themselves to adjusting their immediate wants to the necessity of providing for a future when they may rest from thier labors. Small sympathy need be expended on the New Yorkers who were taken in by fake pictures, which they ima gined were works of art over which old masters had labored, whereas They were copies by art students. If a New Yorker or anyone else desires to spend his money for age rather than for art let him do so, hut if he admires the pictures of the old masers for their great beauty and superior merit, where is the harm if he gets one of the same kind, only more beautiful and several hundred years fresher? Indeed, we have long thought that the printing presses should be started up. so that everybody who desired them could have the old masters. We do not see why a line of old masters should not be put on the market which would make the originals look as if they had been dragged from a second-hand store. On the other hand. Canon Jephson, a member of the Moselv commission, which recently visited the United States, controverts the statement of Sir William Henry Preece that the American boy is mentally two years ahead of the European boy. Accord ing to Canon Jephson the American boy's progress is retarded by the American system of co-education and the preponderance of American wo men teachers. This is rather hard on the American schooimarm, though we have lately heard the same idea ex ■pressed on this side of the water by some of our own educators. So, re marks the lloston Herald, the Jephson utterance can scarcely be termed a casus belli. Benefits from the American rule in Cuba continue to be manifested. Dr. Doty, health officer of the port of New York, has just returned from a visit to the island, which he reports in excep tionally clean and healthful condition, so that certificates from the physicians in charge in Havana will be sufficient to admit passengers from that city to New York without inspection at the latter port. Cuba under present rules and regulations is no longer a standing alarm against serious and death-deal ing disease. The South Orange (N. J.) council has passed an ordinance making it a misdemeanor for a dog to bark be tween midnight and sunrise. Isn’t the South Orange council a little unreason able? How can a dog be expected to watch the calendar with sufficient care to be able to determine what minute the sun wiil rise day after day? If the inventor who claims to have discovered the secret of manufacturing gold expects to get people to accept his product as the real thing he will have to seek out some almost inacces sible and wholly desolate region in which to establish his plant. The man who failed in his effort to predict an earthquake should not be discouraged. Earthquakes are mighty hard to predict, being notoriously large and unwieldy and difficult to lame. The real joke of the Chesapeake flag incident semes to be on William Wal dorf Astor, after all, when it is recalled that at the auction he was bidding against several patriotic Englishmen who ran the price up because they be lieved him to be an American. In her latest play Sarah Bernhardt, is stoned to death in the last act. The scene Is especially effective on occa sions when the public leaves sufficient rocks at the box office. (Copyright 1908, by Byron Williams.) Like the Parrot. TAV.K-TALK. -TM-K — TAL*.l*Ci 7AUK. — LOT* jat Q* T h-C. ^ \ An Indiana man killed his wife be cause she talked all the time. Instead of sulking and giving him a chance to read his newspaper in peace, she let her talker run wild like an automobile minus a steering gear. When he was shaving and just prepared for a long downward sweep across his jaws, she would insist on his answering a ques tion. When she awoke in the night she would turn over and ask: "Are you asleep, John?" just to be saying some thing. When lie tried to write, she dis cussed household expenses and when in the climax of a beautiful story, she could be counted on to butt in and spoil the effect. He couldn't take her to concerts because she persisted in talking like the good old woman who “fried hers in lard!” At last she began to talk in her sleep. This was the last straw: he killed her! He was undoubt edly a'hamed to get a divorce and try another lest she, too. should remarry. Being one who loved his fellow men he didn’t have the heart to do it—so he took her life. This is a sad and a talkative world! o o o Busy. When the furnace fire goes out And th’ winter’s work is through. Then the grass needs cutting, bad. And there’s other things to do! There don't seem t' be no rest Fer a feller, try his best! Wife wants a garden made And a rustic seat or two. Then she says: "Just build a rack For my mornin' glories—do!” Then, when you are settled down. She wants bulbs and seeds frum town! There are rookeries to fix And nasturtiums to sow; There are violets hard by— Won’t I gist transplant a few? Gee, this workin' stirs my bile— Can't I rest a little while? Ain't there no time free frum toil When a cuss like me kin snooze? Fixin’ things th' hull year ’round, Gives me achy back—and blues! Ain’t there no time—think of it— Made fer restin' gist a bit? o o o Rag-Tag. Sometimes a man can go to sleep in church and get away with the goods if he doesn't snore. ☆ ☆ ☆ One way to apologize to your wife is to think up something she owes you an apology for and tell her that evens the score. ☆ <r ☆ Some girls who maintain that they never would make a good wife for a poor man. sometimes, that is occa sionally, make a poor wife for a rich man. O O O Cheap Affection. Love and affection are depreciating in value. A New York woman sued her recreant lover for $25.000—breach of promise money. The jury awarded her six cents. Words are almost use less in a matter of this sort! Think of the waste—and all fo$ six coppers! It is impossible, in English, to express one's feelings. Do it in Spanish or French or Hottentot!—and even then there is a deficit! This woman poured out her femin inity, made eyes, wore killing clothes, rubbed away sundry headaches, burned much gas and listened to "Lu cille” read aloud—and she gets six cents! Less than half a shilling! "Whither are we drifting?” Whither indeed! o o o Plutocratic Illness. Some maladies are to be afforded only by the rich. Of what use is gout to the poor man? What would a day laborer do with a case of appendicitis? And as for ennui, he hasn't time! Only the wealthy may walk in their sleep. The toiler is too busy snooz ing off the weariness caused by serv ice. Insomnia seldom conies to the man who has been using his mustjle or his brain, or both, during the day light hours. Few physically active peo ple have indigestion. Moral—if you would be happy and healthy, be poor! YY Jim 3 Beautiful Sympathy. Sympathy Is one of the great sec rets of life. It overcomes evil and j strengthens good. It disarms resist | ance, and melts the hardened heart, and develops the better part of human nature.—Mountford. Five Generations Living. Five generations of the family of Mr. Pettit, boot dealer of Mexborough, England, are living, his own child being the youngest member. The great-great-grandmother is- 90 and the child is 11 months old. 1 i -V HEX you’ll do it. Bill, Tor | the sake of old times?’’ j queried Capt. Brundage j anxiously. "Yes,” said the mate. . "for old times' sake and j the 25 bucks you prom- i ised. Partikerly for the 25 bucks.” The captain eyed him disdainfully. "If ’twas me,” he com mented, "I'd be glad to help out a pal, even if I didn’t get a cent. That's the kind of man I am.” “An’ that's the kind I ain’t,” re joined the mate tartly. "So mebbe you’ll stow this here moralisin' busi ness an’ hand over the coin, so as everything ’ll be accordin’ to agree ment. '■’ The skipper of the steamer Arklam muttered something uncomplimentary under his breath, but producing a bulky pocket book extracted several bills therefrom and passed them to the mate, who thrust them into his pocket and laced his superior with a satisfied smirk. "Now that's settled, let’s run over your scheme again, so as I can get my right bearin’s,” he said pleas antly. “When we get to Buffalo you fix yourself up with a phony beard an’ wig, an' if Miss Antrim comes askin' for you I’m to tell her Capt. Brundage died werry sudden in Chicago, an’ there’s a new skipper in charge.” "Don’t forget as I’m supposed to be deaf and dumb,” warned the cap tain. "If she once heard my voice it ’ud queer the whole game.” “Oh, aw right,” responded the mate. "Only she must be a bigger fat-head than she looks if she swallows that. Who’d ever believe as a company ’ud hire a deaf dummy for captain of a big steam freighter?" "She’s got to believe it,” returned the captain. "Anyway, if she sees me at all. it’ll be only for a few min utes, and the news of my death ’ill upset her so that she won’t stop to figure out them little details.” "It wouldn't upset me,” retorted the mate. “Seems like she oughter be joyful to hear it, if she's got any sense.” “That'll be all from you,” growled Brundage in high dudgeon. “Just hold your jaw and do as you're told.” Shortly after the Arklam tied up at the Buffalo docks she was boarded by a buxom young damsel with a de termined chin and a pair of snappy black eyes. The watchful mate greeted her at the gang plank, and she acknowledged the salutation with j a gracious smile. uood morning, Mr. Prout, ahe said. "Is Capt. Brundage around?” The mate twisted his features into a becoming semblance of grief. “I’m sorry to say that I’ve got bad news for you, Miss Antrim,” was the response. He hesitated and shook his head sadly. "What's the trouble?" inquired the girl, her face a shade paler at the sight of the mate's dolorous visage. “Is he sick?” "Worse than that, miss," returned the mate in a hoarse whisper. “He's werry bad—that is, I mean he ain't now. He's gone, miss, gone for ever.” The girl drew a sharp breath. “What!” she gasped, “you don’t mean to say—'* “That he’s dead, miss; yes, that's it, an’ sorry 1 am to tel! you.” Miss Antrim dabbed a handkerchief hastily across her eyes. “How did | it happen?" stie asked. "Why, he— he was ail right when he left here on his last, voyage.” “Step into the cabin," requested the wily Mr. Prout, "an' I'll tell you all | about it." I The girl followed him. and seating | herself, prepared to listen to the I mate's doleful narrative. In accordance with the instructions j of his chief, .Mr. William Prout gave i a very affecting sketch of the inci | dents relative to the former's sud ' den demise, due, as he declared, to, a chill followed by an attack of pn^ monia which had carried off the vic tim in record time. Miss Polly Antrim listened with an odd gleam in her intelligent eyes. "Wasn't there—that is—didn't he leave a message or anything of that kind for me?" she demanded, when the mate had finished his melancholy recital. “Oh, yes,” replied Mr. Prout hur | riedly. “The poor chap sent you his I love, an'—an' hoped you'd meet him | in heaven—” he concluded in a burst of inspiration. Polly Antrim glanced at the mate with tightened lips. “Very nice of him,” she commented coolly. "Who did you say took his place?” THE DUPING .OF POLLY “Capt. Chester,” returned Prout. “'Nothing like poor Brundage, though, he ain't.” "I should like to see him,” said Miss Antrim. Perhaps he could tell me something more about Jim.” "Not him." responded the mate, has tily. “He didn't know Jim Brundage, an’, anyways,” he added as an after thought, "this here Chester's deaf an' dumb; can't speak a word.” A look of intense surprise deepened on his hearer’s countenance. “'Deaf and dumb!” she repeated. “Why, good gracious! how can a deaf mute be captain of a steamer?” The mate's face flushed. “It's this way," he explained. "His uncle's the main guy of the Sherlock Navigation Company, an' he gave Chester the self as sole passenger on the Arklam, and the mate proceeded to map out a long and difficult course of deception for what promised to be a memorable voyage. Capt. Urundage, in the role of the silent Chester, passed muster before the girl's eyes in highly creditable fashion. She made no sign of recog nition, and he reflected that the stage must have les* - shining light through his failing to perceive that nature had clearly intended him for an actor. To Mr. I’rout fell the agreeable task of entertaining the fair passenger, who j exhibited a liveliness of spirit not wholly in keeping with the sorrow of a maiden whom death had deprived of a lover. In fact, the mate, being a i single man in the f-rriy thirties, found ■““nr She'll Never Know Me in This Rig.’’ job. He ain't much of ’a sailor, an' all the work falls on me.” The girl eyed him steadily. "All the same,” she remarked calmly, “I'm bound to see him, for I've made up my mind to go to Chicago on the Arklam.” Mr. Prout uttered a horrified ex clamation. “Back on the Arklam!” he repeated. “What for?” "To visit Jim's grave,” responded the artless Miss Antrim. “It’s the least I can do under the circumstances. And it'll be a sort of consolation to sail on the boat he used to command, poor fellow.” “Well, Capt. Chester's ashore just now," declared the mate, desperately. "That doesn't matter, I'll see him later," she said, airily. “I’m going home now to pack my things and get ready.” Much aghast at this unexpected turn of fortune's wheel. Mr. Prout sought the presence of his chief, who had prudently remained in seclusion during Miss Antrim's visit. Capt. Brundage, resplendent in a false beard and wig of inky blackness, as sumed to deceive his lady love's pene trating optics in case she insisted upon a personal interview, received his officer's tidings with a violent ex plosion of highly ornamental pro fanity. you vo nungiea me wnoie business, you nigger-headed swab!" he said, heatedly. "What the blue blazes are vve to do now? It that girl ever lands in Chicago and finds out I'm alive and have a wife and four kids, there'll be the devil to pay.” “ "Tain't my fault,” protested the mate, sullenly. "What business had you to make love to her? Might have known there'd be trouble.” • I'J wasn't all to blame, Bill,” as serted the captain. “It beats all the shine so many of these girls take to me. Can't understand why they do it.” "Neither can I,” agreed the mate, savagely. "It ain't your beauty, I’ll swear. Mebbe It's the lies you tell 'em. Some women go dahy over a slack-mouthed liar." "That's not the point.” returned Brundage, sourly. "There's only one way to square it. We don't carry passengers as a rule, and she'll likely be the oniy one aboard. What you’ve got to do now is pass the word to the crew to keep their mouths shut, and I'll keep up this deaf and dumb racket. She'll never know me in this rig, 'specially if I pnly show up after dark.” “And who's to stand your watches?" demanded the mate. "Think I’m a blasted horse to be doing the work of two men? Anyhow, she'll be put wise when she reaches Chicago.” "Well, it'll give me time to think the matter over,” said Brundage, hopefully. "You can stand the day watches and I’ll come on at night.” Mr. Prout entered a vigorous pro test, but in the end his superior's ar gument prevailed, and he hastened to give the necessary instructions to the members of the. crew. True to her word Miss Polly Antrim Installed her himself yielding io iiie witchery of her black eyes, and inwardly congrat ulated himself upon the happy chance which had thrown them together. On the second day Capt. Brundage saw fit to take the amorous Mr. Prout aside and expostulate with him on the too evident partiality he displayed for Miss Polly's society. The mate lis tened to his remonstrances and then indulged in a fine burst of longshore rhetoric, liberally flavored with harsh expletives. “A nice party you are,” he con cluded, ”to come givin’ me advice. Wot is it to you if the girl's took a fancy to me? Reg'lar dog in the man ger, that's wot yoTi are. Don't want her yourself an' can't bear to see any one else get her. For two pins I'd blow the whole game, an’ then j where'd you be?” "I was speakin' for your good. Bill," pleaded the crestfallen captain. "You don't know wot an artful dame she is.” "An' how about yourself?" queried ! the mate. "You're a fine honest hearted innocent to preach about art fulness. Anyway the jig ’ill be up when we make port an' she goes huntin' for your grave.” "That's so,” agreed Brundage, de jectedly. “We got to think that over, Bill.” "Think it over yourself.” retorted the aggrieved Mr. Prout; "hut don’t come any nonsense over me, for I won’t stand it." The Arklam was nearing Chicago when Capt. Brundage, sitting alone j in his cabin and figuring desperately on some means of escape from the j That Don net fate had thrown around him, looked up in surprise as Miss Polly entered and closed the door behind her with an emphatic slam. That done, she sat down and surveyed her quondam suitor with malicious eyes. Brundage stared back with a siekiy smile, wondering inwardly what her visit might, portend. He was not left long in doubt. She suddenly stretched forth a slim, white hand, and tore the black beard from his face. Then she s t' her little foot upon it and spoke with much unction. "What an awfid silly you are, Jim Brundage. to think that you could pull the wool over my eyes.” The captain wagged his head dis mally. “All right. Polly,” he said, “you’ve got me beat. What do you reckon to do?” "If I was a man,” said the girl, scornfully. "I'd thrash you well, but I suppose I must get satisfaction an other way. What hurts me most isn't your falseness, but the idea that you considered me such a fool. I’ve found out all about you, and unless you want your wife to know every thing, you'll do as I say. “When you passed yourself off as a single man you showed me your bankbook and calculated that $500 would start us nicely in housekeeping. Now. when we reach Chicago. Jimmy dear, you'll go straight to the bank, draw $250, and hand it over to me. Then I'll say good by and you can thank your stars for getting off so easily.” The unmasked conspirator swore bitterly and protested fervently, but Miss Polly was adamant and he finally agreed to her terms. His disclosure to Mr. Prcut. of the conditions upon which he had surrendered was re ceived by that unfeeling seaman with a hoarse laugh, which was distinctly aggravating to his commander's trou bled mind. The Arklam lay at the Clark street dock with Miss Antrim seated in the captain's cabin placidly awaiting his return from the bank. Beside her laughed Mr. William Front, smoking the pipe of peace. Brundage entered with a look of intense gloom over shadowing his countenance, and sig naled the mate to retire. Miss Polly waved her hand In dissent. “Stay where you are." she said, ge nially. “Count out the money, Jim, and hurry up." The mate grinned broadly as his skipper lugged out the well-known pocket book, and, sighing deeply, hand ed $2f.O in United States currency to his female Nemesis. Polly beamed graciously upon the uncheerful giver. “That's a good boy, Jim," she said, sweetly, "and now wre'll go ashore happy. By the way, it may interest you to know that Mr. Prout and 1 mean to set up housekeeping on the strength of your kind gift." The captain's emotion was too deep for mere words to express. He rose to his feet, still staring helplessly, as Miss Antrim, leaning on the arm of the gratified mate, tripped merrily along the gang plank to the wharf. (Copyright, by W. G. Chapman.) TRUSTING IN THE DOCTOR l The New and Saner Method of Med ical Practice. "All the apparatus of mystery, ex ternal and internal, have been dropped by the physician, as he advanced in real knowledge," says American Medi cine. '"There still remains, however, a definite tendency to consider it bet ter for the patient that* he should not know too much about his ailment or about the treatment of it. it is true that the writing of prescriptions in Latin is not maintained entirely for the sake of the supjtosed secrecy which it secures,.but this is still one of tlie main reasons. Patients, as a rule, even when some confidence is extended to them in regard to the de tails of Iheir illness, are usually not toid much about the method by which the physician hopes to secure the amelioration of symptoms and the ul timate cure of the disease. There is a large group of modern physicians who consider it quite inadvisable to extend any such confidence to patients since, as'a rule, the appeal to a pa tient's reason has not so much good ef fect on him as the appeal to his faith and confidence in his physician has in securing the more indefinite mental effect which is an important factor in therapeutics. There are many physi cians who, when ill themselves, pre fer not to know the exact details of their treatment, but choose to leave I these to the attending physicians | without conliding in them." Mr. Wu on Gambling. After Wu Ting Fang had delivered | an address in Chinese to the residents of New York's Chinatown on the evils of gambling. Police Inspector Russell corralled the minister and naively re quested him to suggest an effective method for closing the gambling places In Chinatown. "Do you give licenses for gambling?" asked Mr. Wu. "No certainly not. Gambling is against the law," replied the inspec I tor. "Then I guess it's up to you to sup press it,” said Mr. Wu. Relation of Weight Tables. The common standard by which the relative values oi the various weight tables are compared is ■ the grain, which for this purpose may be regard ed as the unit of weight. The pound troy and the apothecaries' pound have each 5,760 grains; the pound avoirdu pois has 7,000 grains. There are scales used which give weights according to j various systems, but they are not used ! to any extent commercially. 1 Syrupsffigs "OixirsfS onna Cleanses the System Li !• ■ Uy; Dispels Colds and li*>a lies due to. Gonstiput ua Gol Arts naturally, acta trul^ O' a Laxativ e. Best jbrMen\Vcmen and ( lulu ren-youne and Old. To get its BeneJ'iciat E)j> Alnays huv the Genuine ul, • has the |ull name of the C m - pany CALIFORNIA Fk> Stri p Co. by tvnom it is manujartiirpfi.pr' ntni jront of every package. SOLD BYALL LEADING DRUGGI5" one size only, regular price 50'?«rt »’ • EXPANSIVE RECEPTACLE. J V “Dear me! what an awful toi ;ha e you must have!" Kid (thickly I—Toothache r n ' I ain't got no pockets in dis - j:' •' clothes, an' have to carry n:** ba- t.l in me mouth! BAD ITCHING HUMOR. Limbs Below the Knees Were Raw Feet Swollen—Sieep Broken— Cured in 2 Days by Cuticura. "Some two months ago I had a . mor break out or. my limbs be!"-* y knees. They came to look like aw beefsteak, all red, and no one kn * s how they itched and burned r > were so swollen that I could n • - ’ my shoes on for a week or more I Used five or six different remedi* ~ i got no help, only when applying t the burning was worse and the i' less. For two or three weeks the fering was intense and during t time 1 did not sleep an hour at a • Then one morning I tried a Dr t Cuticura. From the moment it • . 1 me the itching was gone and I not telt a bit of it since. The sv. g went clown aritl in two days 1 had . • shoes on and was a!»out as u ,.i. George £5. Farley. 50 South S’atc ct. Concord, X. H., May 14, 1&07.'1 Labor-Saving Device. “Yes. siree." said the freckle! '. id proudly, ”mj- dad s a genius, i; i "That so?" lespionded the «>•»:■ coffee-mill agent. "Wall. 1 should say so. Da l r. •' that every time the old hound around Sunday mornings he b- _ m wagging his stumpy tail." “Anything unusual in that. ? r "No. not for the hound, n. - * dad got up the idea of art eh.- - i shoe brush and a whisk broom Bowser's tail. Now when dad i : t to go to meetin' his shoes are shi .►■d and the legs of his trousers are ed without his moving a fir.. gosh! Dad's got as much b.as a furrin diplomat.” That Woman’s Fault. “That woman next door is r dreadful. John,” said a youn- 1 woman to her husband. r:l. nothing but talk the who!- .:. She cannot get any work . m ::i sure.” "Oh,” remarked ’he husband thought she was a chatterbox And o whom does she talk?" “Why, my dear, to me, of course was the reply. “She talks me ner the fence.” Lewis’ Single B:nder Cigar b - b taste. Your dealer or Lt .! >. Peoria, 111. People never help a man blow h ■ horn because they like the noi.-i Mrn. TMqjIow’b Soothing- Strop. For children toethln*:, soften* t.V- ►' i> tiaminailon. allays pain, cures wlndculk~ —> » - e. Gentleness is invincible. Ma is Au relius. SICK Positively cured by these Little Pills. They at so relieve Dis tress from Dy^pej sU, la* digest iou ami Too Hesrty Eatinjr. A perfeot r* tri ed y for Dizziness, Nau sea. Drowsiness, Bud Taste iu the Mouth, Coat ed Tongue, Pain In the Side, TORPID LIVER. They regulate the Bowels. Purely Vegetable. SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE.