The Loup City northwestern. (Loup City, Neb.) 189?-1917, June 10, 1898, Image 7

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The Retort Ready.
A bustling agent for a patent churn
Invaded tho office of a busy merchant
one day and proceeded to deliver his
lecture. "One moment, please,” said
the merchant. “May I ask to whom I
am indebted for this visit?” Tho caller
produced his card. It contained tho
Inscription: "'Barton Zebulon Day,
Agent for Cosmopolitan Novelty Com
pany.” The man of business studied
the card a moment. Then he looked
tip. "'I am honored by your call. Mr.
Barton Zebulon Day,” he said, with a
genial smile, "but this is also my B. Z.
Day. Good day!”
The following case was printed originally
In Thr Monitor, a uews|iap<-r published at
Meadford, Ontario. Doubt* were raised a*
I' to it» truthfulness, consequently a close
t watch was kept on the case for two years
| and the original statement has now been
I completely verified.
Mr. fetch hod been a hopeless paralytic
for live years. His case has bud wide at
tention. He was confined to his lied, was
bloated almost beyond recognition, and
could not take solid food. Doctors called
the disease spinal sclerosis, and all soul ho
could not live. Tho ('anadlan Mutual Life
Association, aftera thorough nxamfipi.lion,
paid him his total disability claim os .i,fs">l>,
regarding him as forever Incurable.
For three years ho lingered in this condi
tion. After
taking some
of Dr. Wil
j|| / Hams' I’lnk
fills for Pale
l’eopie there
,wau a slight
change, a ten
dency to
sweat freely.
Next cams a
little feeling
in bis Hmbe.
This extend
ed, followed
Pn4<t JtU I’Uilm. by a pricking
sensation, until at last the blood f>egnn to
course freely and vigorously through bis
body. Boon he was restored to his old
time health.
A rejiorter for Thr Monitor recently
called on Mr. fetch again and was told:
"Yon may say there is no doubt as to my
cure being permanent. I am in better
health than v.hen I gave you the first in
terview, ami certainly attribute my cure
U) IT. n jiuniilh I iijk J Ills ior i ai*‘i
“To those pills I owe rny release from the
living (loath, anil I shall always bless the
day I was Induced to take them.'’
Such is the history ef one of the most re
markable cases in modern limes. In the
face of such testimony, ran anyone soy
that I)r. Williams’ Pink Pills are not en
titled to the oareful consideration of every
sufferer—man, woman or child? In not the
laso, lu truth, a miracle in modern medi
cine! ‘
These pills are sold by all druggists and
are considered by them to be one of the
most valuable remedial agents known to
Obligation—A gun that makea a
loud report when It Is discharged.
No-To-Dae for fifty Cents.
Guaranved tobacco habit cure, makes weak
men stroig;, olood pure. 60k. $1. All druggists.
The American soft felt hat la all the
rage in the leading Australian colo
If you want to make your white
dresses, skirts, shirt waists, collars and
culls look white and glossy ask your
grocer for Keith’s Enamel Starch, and
take no other. Insist on getting the
genuine article. ,
It your grocer does not handle It send
his name and address to Keith Enamel
Starch Co., Chicago, III., and get book
of recipes for floe laundry work for
your trouble.
Mtr. General Tom Thumb has re
turned to Engalnd after ten years" ab
sence. _
Pinos Cure for Consurmitlon has saved
me large doctor bills.—C- h Baker, 4228 Re
gent f*p, Phi ndelpbia, Pa., Dec. 8, 18U5.
Phiz—The face that grows on a gin
drinker. _
To Niagara Falls, the Thousand Is
lands, the St. Lawrence River, the
Adirondaeks, the Green and White
Mountains, the Berkshire Hills, the
valley of the Hudson, the Catskills,
and the Atlantic Coast, the Michigan
Central is the direct and favorite Sum
mer Tourist Route. Send 3 cents, post
age for Summer Tours.
City Ticket Office. 119 Adams Street.
O. W. Ruggles, G. P. & T. Agent, Chi
There are said to be 2.064 languages
In the world, and.Its inhabitants pro
fess more than 1,000 religions.
Jhako Into Tour Ihoo*
Allen'* Foot-Ease, a powder for tha
feet. It cures painful, swollen, smart
ing feet and Instantly takes the sting
out of corns and bunions. It's the
greatest comfort discovery of the age.
Allen's Foot-Ease makes tlght-flttlng
or new shoes feel easy. It Is a certain
cure for sweating, callous and hot,
tired, nervous, aching feet. Try It to
day. Sold by all druggists and shoe
stores. By mall for 25c In stamps.
Trial package FUSE. Address, Allan
6. Olmsted. L« Hoy, N. Y.
Oily tougues and mute dogs are dan'
For a perfect coiiii'lciton aud a clear,
healthy ikin. u*s COHMU BtTl'EtUUkK
KOAF. Hold everywhere
The man above counsel Is always in
Kdurale knur Monels With Cs ace rets.
Candy Cathartic cure <ee*it|MU<Mi tvjn-vrr
Kh, t*c IIC C C. taU drv.ssl-i»rWuiutRiuu**
Triplet*— lJliI# bleaatugs that bul
few people appreciate.
To the Irani Again. Chicago tn Wan Tarh
The Michigan tenlral. "The Niagara
Falla Route." now leaves Chicago al
« l' mi arriving a< Oraad Cealra) Hie
tlon. New Vorh llljr, al I a'etorh the
b*vi afternoon, la advance of all other
limited tralua it also carries a through
a'reper to Hosloa. arriving there the
nest morning it roaaects with all
through train* from the weal.
"I thought I heard a round aa of
heavy firing ~ remarked the o«*> upanl
of ruin No IU4 stepping out Into
(ha totrldue ' That s etaclly ahat
you did hear,* replied the Iskltut "I
have Just beeu kh king a W»mntwJ
loafer dean the atalraar “—4'hWago
"alar—A aam-latustratmg beret
age that makes barrels tight.
A drawing room in Kensington,
Present Mrs. Van Tassyl Hussey, Lady
Betty, Miss Peck, and the hostess.
“Will you take sugar with your sec
ond cup, dear?” said the hostess sweet
ly to Mrs. Van Tassyl Hussey, hovering
with the sugar-tongs over the basin.
"Thank you, I always take sugar.
My late husband used to say that a
sweet tooth was an excellent thing In
the middle-aged; it denoted simplici
ty of Ideas.”
“Fie! my dear Mrs. Van Tassyl Hus
sey, surely you don't lay claim to-”
“Middle-aged or simplicity?”
“Either,” returned Lady Betty.
“They usually go together nowa
days.” observed the hostess; “it’s the
young people 1 don’t understand. They
seem to be developing into a strange
order of being. Have you read Lady
Warwick’s book oil ’Women’s Educa
“You moan.” interposed Miss Peck
In her precise manner, “Lady War
wick’s collection of papers read at onr
recent education congress? They arc
very valuable, and we are greatly
obliged to Lady Warwick for her ad
mirable preface; but of course her lady
ship has not taken any great part In
our work.”
“I never could understand,” said
Mrs. Van Tassyl Hussey, “how ladies
of position could interest themselves in
slumming matters.”
“Excuse me.” returned Miss Peck
tartly, “women’s education in the Brit
ish empire is certainly not a question
of slumming.”
“But these things often fall Into the
same category, do they not? I heard
only the other day,” pursued Mrs. Van
Tassyl Hussey, blandly, “that a great
friend of yours had been appointed an
inspector—or is it inspectress of—
dear me—of nuisances., was It not?”
“No,” corrected Miss Peck, “of fac
tories. She read an admirable paper
on ’Women as Factory Inspectors' at
our recent congress. It Is Included In
Lady Warwick’s book. We hope, by
means of this volume, to open up a
great many new careers to women."
“So it would seem,” remarked the
hostess. “I suppose, though, they can
not all be quite womanly professions?”
"Oh! we are abolishing these dis
tinctions,” explained Miss Peck; “we
find that they rather trammel us in
our work; besides, the great principle
that we advocate—the equality of the
sexes—does not permit of any conces
sions on our part to-”
"Womanliness?” questioned Lady
“If you like to put It so.”
“How stupid!" continued Lady Bet
ty. “For my part I wouldn't change
_ ■ ■■ ■ •» Vv I I ✓
places with the most learned man in
the world. As the merely frivolous
little butterfly that I am. I can get all
the admiration I want.”
“From men. I suppose?” sniffed Miss
Peck. "The homage some women pay
to men is perfectly degrading; they
pander to their vanity in the most
contemptible manner.”
“As the superior sex, my dear, don’t
forget that,” said Lady Betty.
"Superior in brute strength, but not
in intellect."
“Well, let us say In discernment.”
Insinuated Lady Betty. "However con
temptible the mere man may be, I
And him at least appreciative. George
told me yesterday my new hat was a
perfect stunner! How's that for an
opinion? And you women have never
even noticed it!”
"George! your husband?" queried
Mrs. Van Tassyl Hussey.
"My husband?” laughed I-ady Betty;
"why he never sees what I've got on.
One never expects a compliment from
one's husbaud. I mean George Oil
low ; he was skatiug with me at
Prince's yesterday.”
“It was always my practice to con
sult my husband on all matters.” said
Mrs. Van Tassyl Hussey, “but then 1
suppose you young people would vail
"Not middle-aged." smiled the host
“No. rather old fashioned. Marriage
Itself, they say, is getting old-fash
"Yea, ft Is going out,” said lasdy Het
"Only a v«ry smalt percentage of uur
women marry," obnecved Mlae Peck,
"I mean the UIrion and Newnham wo
"|Wiee their education make them l«i
I faattdbHM?" Inquired the hoeteea
■ Pefhapa It makea the men fast Id I
eua!" wild Istdy IMtty "I never knew
a man yet who would make love to a
woman heenoee she held a diploma
They it he a nk* little ignoramus wha
feeant know enough to see through
1 thorn"
"Otse rak see Why you are eo popular
with the men" snapped Mine P*--h |
"For iny part. I should like to see the 1
male population of this and every other
country swept off the face of the globe
—but come to the meeting of our Hy
gienic Clothing association at St.
George's Hall next Thursday, and then
you will understand better than you
do now why-’’
"Why so many learned women pre
fer spinsterhood?" Interposed Lady
“Let us say rather Independence,"
said the hostess, genially. “Pass me
your rup. Miss Peck—one lump?”
"I never take sugar, the glucose cle
ment Is not wholesome.”
"But talking of Independence." con
tinued the hostess, "is Independence at
the price of spinsterhood the best state
for a woman? Isn't it after all rather
a pity to be educated so far above the
head of the average man? For the
average man is the best we can get as
a rule, Isn't he?”
"Yes,” answered Mrs. Van Tussyl
Hussey, "and I always think an un
married woman is such a hopelessly
Incomplete specimen of humanity—I
mean, of course, the woman of a cer
tain age.”
"Quite an exploded prejudice,” snap
ped Miss Peck.
"Now a female factory Inspector,”
observed the hostess, "I do not really
think I could stand. She would give
me the creeps, I’m sure.”
“It Is to careers like this that we
look for relief In the female labor mar
ket,” remarked Miss Peck, severely. "It
Is this way that the brilliant future
of the emancipated woman lies. We
have our foot on the ladder, we are
"Yes, but when you have climbed to
the top, where do you think the ladder
will land you?" queried the hostess.
"It will land us,” answered Miss Peck,
with a gleam like cold steel In her
eyes, "at the glorious goal where the
present degradation of women will not
Kt ivhf'id tli/tv will (nkp thpir nroo
er position in the world, and where
man will be shown himself as he
really Is.”
“Dear me!" ejaculated Mrs. Van
Tassy] Hussey.
“Well,” said the hostess, “emanci
pation and the moralizing influence <>1
Glrton and Newnham may be all very
well; but for my part 1 think that
education misses Us mark when it
does not promote the welfare and hap
piness of its devotees. And to con
demn women to an eternal spinster
hood is surely not promoting their
chances of happiness In the general
scheme of things.”
“For my part,"interposed I>ady Bet
ty, with an irresponsible shrug of her
shoulders, "call It degrading If you
like, but I would rather purr on the
hearthrug of the merest of men than
I would go prowling about factories
and sniffing down people’s sinks in the
glories of emancipation."
"I will wish you good afternoon,"
said Miss Peck, snapping the clasp of
her serviceable golf cape severely. "I
am due on the ‘Regeneration of Man’
at 6:15."
"Isn’t she funny,” laughed Eauy
Betty, as the door closed behind her.
Tliclr Income* Would He Small In
America or Knffland.
The differences in the unit of money
In different countries make a consid
erable difference In the practical
meaning of the word “millionaire.”
Webster's dictionary defines a million
aire as “one whose wealth is oounted
by millions.” In popular use one who
has a million is tegarded as a milHon
aire. In the Untied States it would be
$1,000,000. In England It would be
£1,000,000 sterling. But as the pound
sterling Is worth $1.86 and a fraction
In our money, the Englishman would
require nearly five times as much act
ual capital as the American before the
Englishman could take rank In the
noble army of martyrs known as mil
Here in Germany, where the unit of
value is the mark, which Is worth 23
cents and a fraction in our money,
much less actual capital Is required to
make a man a millionaire than in the
United States. I had this fact im
nrepsed noon me bv reading in a Cer
man newspaper that according to the
Statistical Year Book of Her in that
city of over 1,000,000 inhabitants, con
tains 2.092 millionaires—each person
who has an Income of more than
36,000 marks being reckoned as a mil
lionaire.” Thirty-six thousand marks
are less than $9.000—and $9,000 a year
seemed to me to be a rather small
••millionaire'' Income. I found, how
ever, by a rapid computation, that
36,000 marks Is a little more than 314
per centum on a million marks (about
$240,000) and there you have your
millionaire according to the German
value. According to the same autuor
tty there are 477 "thaler millionaire* '
In Berlin—a thaler being 3 marks, «o
that each of this variety of mllltou
alrrs has a capital of S.OoO.out) marks,
or about $720,ooO evch. The wca'lbt
eat man In Berlin baa an Income of
t,729.000 macks, or roughly $400,000. 1
Only seven Berliners have an Income
of more then a million marks — ■
$240,000. Wilmington (Bel ) News.
urugle** AMwetoea lauws
The practice of serving a ration of
grog to *»lk'M a o' marines ere* dis
continued In tbe Baited Mutes navy
many yearn ago. na the citatum wms
found to be prejudicial to discipline
and mortal* Orug I* *1111 served bote
ever. In all Ike other navies of tbe
world Tbe advocate* of temperance .
In Genet Britain twee bean trying fur
(vert* in persuade the government In
put n stop In the practice, but In vain. ;
The average asaa loeetdera a* bee
an alee nay ebea they cosue in him
fut ad v tee.
The ( h*ne*e King.
Is a very queer looking affair. It rep- j
resents the most grotesque of green
dragons on a yellow ground. The lat
ter is suggestive not only ofthe nation
al complexion, but also that of a suf
ferer from biliousness. To remove tnis
use Hostetter's Stomach Hitters, which
will spe:dily regulate your liver and
prevent malaria.
Don't consider a task impossible be
cause you are unable to perform It.
Coe's Conan flnlanm
/ tbo oM**t an 1 It will ItirAK up a OOM qnlckef
than anythin* elfc. It la always rchabla. Try lb
Don’t acquire a chainless wrheel at
the expense of a watchless chain.
Iteanty la 111 nod Poop
CHltn blood me fin* aclean akin. N* haanty
without It. Ca*care»». randy cathartic
clean* your blnoo and keens li clean, by stir
ring up the lazy liver ana driving all Impu
rlflei- from thcoody. LI gin today to banlali
pi mules. Ixilla, blotches, b ackheuus. and tha#
• i< kly bilious complexion by taking < :»*ca
rets beutity (• r ten cents. All dru/glsls,
iut la faction guaranteed. Kks. SS6*:. 50c.
If a mon'fl words taint the air, ho
has p ppkf!)ool in bis heart: Beware
of infection,
Hull** Catarrh Cura
Ih taken internally. I*ri< e, 76c.
Doh't rob yourself by calling other
people hard names.
Mrs. H'lmlow’i Hoottitng Syrup
For children t*«thlng»oft«ni‘ th* {rumi'.rvdur eelnSnm
niaiion, *»!•>> c»in, cure* wind coll**. f'» *'*r.t*a bottle.
Fashion—The one thing a woman
can follow without remaining behind.
An Krfltor Hay*.
The editor of the Riverton, In., Indepen
dent writex: “lam indeed pleased tunny
that your medicine* are the best I hn\e
ever tried for stomach trouble# one of the
most horrible disease* to which flesh in
heir. I had l»een afflicted with the trout le
for four years or more in an aggravated
form, and during the lost two vears, not
withstanding I had treatment from noted
physicians from different localities. 1 kept
getting worse and worse, until life became
almost unendurable and In reality a tor
ture Luckilv. i was induced to try I>r
Kay's Keuevator. After using a half
dozen packages I am actually feeling like
anew person. 1 l>e!ie\ e suffering humani
ty can be benefltted thereby. 1 willingly
M atter the go<sl tidings. Aguiti. I say I
believe your remedies for ••stomach trou
bles" are the best ever put on the market.'’
•Stomach Troubles" can be cured by Dr.
Kav’s Keuevator when all other remedies
foil. It renovates and removes the cause
innl the disease is cured. As a Spring
Medicine it has no equal. For constipa
tion. kidney and liver disease it effects u
permanent cure. A valuable book sent
free. Druggists sell Ilr Kay’s lfenevator
at Me and tl, or six for M. but if they do
not have it. do not take any substitute
they may toy is "just as good” for it has
no equal. You can get it from us by re
turn mall Dr. 11. J. Kay Medical Co.,
Omaha, Neb.
Don’t expect a superior police pro
tection unless you keep a pretty cook.
SOAP, exquisitely scented, is soothing and
beneficial. Sold everywhere.
Pigs do not squeal when they are
feeding. _
Tbe Omaha Exposition of IROS
Beats the Centennial Exposition which
occurred In Philadelphia In 1876 away
out of sight and 1h next to the World’s
F'alr at Chicago in importance to the
whole country. All of the States In
the Trans-MIsslssIppl region are Inter
ested, and our Eastern friends will en
joy a visit to Omaha during the con
tinuance of the Exposition, from June
to October, Inclusive. Buy your ex
cursion ticket^ over the Chicago, Mil
waukee & St. Paul R’y. An Illustrated
folder descriptive of the Exposition
will be sent you on receipt of 2-cent
stamp for postage. Address Geo. H.
Heafford, General Passenger Agent,
Chicago, 111.
Complete tend Hcliolarl/.
Professor W. C. Dwight, natural his
tory, and curator of museum, Vassar
College: “It is the most complete
scholarly, advanced, and remarkable
book of Its kind ever issued.”
See display advertisement of how to
obtalh the Standard Dictionary by
making a small payment down, tbe re
mainder In installments.
Don’t think that a self-made man
can’t be self-undone.
Dont’ try to shoot craps with a shot
Throe Women Relieved of Female
Troubles by Mrs. Plnkham.
From Mrs. A. W. Smith, 59 Summer
St., lliddeford, Me.:
" For several years I suffered with
various diseases peculiar to my sex.
Wus troubled with u burning sensation
across the small of iny back, that nil
gone feeling, was despondent, fretful
und discouraged; the least, exertion
tired me. 1 tried several doctors but
received little benefit. At last I ile
eldrd to give your l.ydiu K. l’inkhuni'a
Vegetable Com pound a trial. Tin* ef
fect of the tlrst Isittle waa magical.
Those symptom* of wcakneaa that 1
was afflicted w ith, vanished like vu|>or
before the nun. 1 cannot sjieak too
highly of your valuable remedy * It U
truly a Us>u to woman.'*
From Mra. Mei.Uma I'iiii i ir*. let
Ingtou, Ind ., to Mra. I'inkhaui:
"Ik-fore 1 ta-gau tukiug your medicine
1 bad suffered for two year* with that
tired feeling headache, lutckachr, no ap
petite. and a run-dow n omditkm of the
system. I could n*<t walk acnaa the
name I have taken four Is.ttle* of the
Vegetable Com|*mnd, one bo* of t.tver
Ihltaaiot used one package of Sanative j
Wash, ami wow feel like a new woman,
andatu able todouiy work.**
Fn>m Mra, Moms I. licaaak, l*ow
•11 Malum. Trua
"lor three year* I suffered with sttcha
weakness of the lark, I could *• -t
□•rm my kouaehoUi doth*. I aUu>
failing of the w»«ob, Wrntde bear
ing*k»«*u pains and headac he I have
take# taro Wot tea of l.idia K link
ham a Vegetable Compound and leal
mtthMtufHii woi.saa I k«<>* *
frfS ___ _ "—1
M W &3J
*• i !
> |
needs coaxing, not crowding. Dr. Ayer’s Pills stand with
p"| out a rival a t a reliable medicine for liver complaint. They
cure constipation, ar.d they cure its consequences, piles,
bUfaMMMM, indigestion, sick headache,nausea, coated tongue,
foul breath, bad taste, palpitation, nervousness, irrita
bi'!ty, and many other maladies that have their root in
constipation. They are a specific for all diseases of the
j stomach and byweb, and keep the body ia a condition of
p’- sound health.
“ I have turn! Arer'a Pill* for the past thirty years and
consider th*-m an invaluable family medirinr.. I knew of no
b’ttor remedy for liver troubles, and have always found
thum a prompt cure for dyspepsia."—Jamuj t^L'IeK, bO Mildia
I fitreet, Hartford, Conn.
| ¥*&<* d^ye^'s Pf/is |
ThiQ Qtarrli '* Prerared on !
1 1113 Old I ill scientific prlnci- *
pies, by men who have hed year* of ,
experience In fancy laundering. It |
restores old linen and summer dresses J
to their natural whitenessand imparts >
a beautiful and lasting finish. The |
only starch that is perfectly harmless. J
Contains no arsenic, alum or other in- >
jurlouK substance. Con be used even )
for a baby powder. j
It puts on that enamel, gi»»»y dniali that is so desira
ble. It makes Shirts, Shirt Waists, Collars and Cuffs
look like new. Keith's Enamel Starch i« the most
economical starch made. It will do more work, do it
with less labor and do It better than any other sturcli.
If it does not {five you entire satisfaction your grocer
-- jf- micsvN >2 will refund your money. Large package, 10 cents; smell
REMARKABLE DISCOVERY] « package, n cento. If your grocer does not have it, please
n'0*'"f W send us his name and adilress and we will send you an
/ Manufactured by
We moke See Surreys, Bugsies. Phaetons end I bed Wagon*., |„u. Clt, Rtf*.
Our goods beer t*en favorably known to ibe trade foryesrs.l ,o usu,
We now eell etrun u is. .or ei Wkekeeis rn~^ The shrewdl isee im nib sc
buyer prefers lo deel with tbe factory. He geu of us Snel .—
w. rk et less price then egenta ssk for low grade reticles. W’e . lip anywhere,
subject to examination- wg DH.ITKS on board ears City, Mo,, ortlosben,
Ind.. as may .ult purchaser. Send for r.etubitrue with price, plainly printed,
trs nuts. Write today. We sell sewing Machine, and the soksgi binrujt as
well. All et WbsieMis rdsss. six UfMHi. No matter wliere you lire, you ere Dot
t<* far sway to do huelnes. with u> end rare money. Addre.s, _
'B'fTtfiiiifliaiiii-iiiiiiiMitiiiiitiiittaiiiitfrjMi'fluiiaMiiJi'iiiiiiHiiiiiJ'Uiiiiiiiiiiii ma mill mi lumi
3 “OOO) copies of this acknow- g
3 lodged masterwork of the Century, we arc now enabled to offer it to the public at far -»
Pleas than the publishers' prices! Thousands of persona, who heretofore have not felt 3
3 able to purchase It, will eagerly welcome this opportunity to secure at reduced price "The £•
£ Greatest Achievement of Modern Times."
Standard Dictionary)
It Is Incomparably the greatest, as It Is positively the 1st- S
set. most complete, and moet authoritative, new dictionary 3
inexistence. It la everywhere the standard.
ENTIRELY NEW i wa Tt Is not a reprint, rehash 3
FROM COVER TO COVER. «r any other 3
work, but Is the result of ■
the steady lebor for five years of over twelve score of the P
moat aminant and euthoritativa scholars and specialists in S
the world. NuArlylOOof the leading universities, colleges S
and scientific institutions of the world were rep-nsented K
on theeditoriel staff: 20 United 8tat*a Governmsr-sspcrts £
were alto on the editorial staff. Ovar 1980.000 were act- C
ually expended in its production before a tingle com- 6
plete copy was ready for the market. Never was any g
dle'ionary welcomed wilh such great snthusissm the £
world over. As the 6t. James’s Hudget, London.deelares 5
"It Is the admiration of I.llerary England . .. It should £
3n>^^M8BB be the pride of i.llerary America." The highest praise £
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