Harrison press-journal. (Harrison, Nebraska) 1899-1905, September 18, 1902, Image 5

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    The varying color of a vacuum tube
rontaialng krypton, Kwn by some ut li
lac and by other ilh green, in explained
by Prof. W. lUmsay tu dt-Mud ou the
rtae of tbe yellow spot of the reiiua.
To illustrate Immensity auil minute
ness, J. K. (lore cites the fact that the
nearest fixed slur U 271.0HU limes ax
fax iwaj a the hud, aud that a speci
men of certain Infusoria cun lie between
two Ihbea of an lu h space divided tutu
1 etil -D t u thousand parts.
Oblty la regarded by Dr. Gabriel
l.ven, a French physician, as a ner
vous disorder. It Is not a disease, but
h symptom arising from various condi
tions, with some disturbance of nutri
tion usually a kind of dyspepsia- as
the foundation. Treatment Is directed
to the dyspepsia.
It U difficult to account for the enor
mous velocity of acme bird)' flight
when migrating. The northern blue
throat goes at the rate of &4U miles au
hour, flying 4,800 ml lea from Kgypt to
Heligoland In a spring night of barely
nine hour Virginian plover fly from
Ijtbrador to North Brazil, 9,000 nilles,
without stopping, going at the rate of
4S30 tulles an hour, and probably more,
llow can thla speed e attained? The
Vlrda resort to (Treat height, where the
resistance of the air la light.
One of the puzzles of geography bag
ltf-en the guest Ion of the situation of
the source and upper portions of the
three great rivers, Iloangbo, Yangtze
and Mekong, all of which start from
the lofty plateau of Tibet Two of the
rlvera traverse China; the Mekong
makes Its way to the sea between
Anaiu and 81am. Thla puzzle has been
partially cleared up by the explorations
of the Russian Captain KozlolT during
1000 and 1001. lie found that the three
rivers flow on the surface of the great
plateau, 12,000 feet above sea-level
and are separated from one another by
parallel ranges of mountains rising
about 3,000 feet above the plateau, and
running In a uorthwest and southeast
The fact that the sun when poised ou
the horizon sometimes appears greatly
distorted, or drawn out Into the form
ut an oval. Is well known, and the ex
planation Is very simple, namely, the
rapid change In the refractive Index of
the air near the horizon. In conscfjucufe
of which the lower edge of the sun ap
pears to be lifted with reference to the
tipper edge, and so the dl.sk looks as if
ftjuw-zed between top and bottom. Re
cently Professor Prinz, of the Brussels
Observatory, has obtained several large
wale photographs of the flettlDg sun
which distinctly show the deformation
of the disk, and reader Its measure
ment very easy. In one case the verti
cal diameter Is to the horizontal In the
ratio of 75 to 84. Sometimes the distor
tion la greater than that
Excavating by Compressed Air. In
kinking the Brooklyn caisson for the
third bridge ovor the East River, it has
lieen found possible to make compress
ed nlr do the work of shovels In remov
ing the sand, through a thick stratum
if which the caisson Is being forced
lown toward the bed-rock deep be
neath. The sand Is so pure and loose
that the force of the compressed air
supplied for the workmen In the cais
son suffices to drive It up through blow
pipes Inserted into the caisson for the
purpose. Jets of water are directed
jigalnst the sand around the bottom of
the blow-pipes, and when thug dls
iuiitu the ssr.d readily passes up
through the pipes with the strong air-4-urrenta
that are continually pouring
nto them from the compressed atmos
phere of the catssou.
Jlelsbt of Objects Ascertained
Help of a Cane.
A walking stick Is an Invaluable arti
cle to accompany onu on a walk, for It
;an assist you In other ways than In aid
ng your progress. Suppose you want
lo measure the height of n cliff, u
church steeple, or s.,uie other tnll ob
ject, and the sum shines not and there
fore no shadow Is cast The walking
xtlck will none the less assist you to
tell Its height. This time take a dis
tance some 120 feet from the object
which you wish to measure, and In thi
ground at that polut tlrmly plant your
stick. Then move along from it in a
utralght line until by lying d twn on
mother earth the top of your stick and
tbe top of the object to be measured
will to your eye m on a line. This spot
you will mark. This gives you three
olnts one, where you lay down; two,
your planted stick, and three, the ol-
Jevt to be measured. Now, the distant
from the point where you lay down to
the stick Is to the distance from the
stick to the ob.ee t to be measured as
the height of tbe stick Is to the height
cf that ob ect Thus, suppose the point
where you lay down Is six yards from
the stick and thirty-alx yards from tin;
object, then the object is six tlinc the
lielght of tbe stick. Now, the stick yoi
know to be three feet high, tbe object
measured Is therefore approximately
eighteen feet
It la a fairly easy thing to obtain the
measurement of an object If you but
have a rule cr a compass. The trouble
Is that usually when one wishes to
Judge distance a standard to go y
Is sadly lacking. There are. however,
ready substitutes If you but know bow
to dm them. If the sun be shining you
can get tbe cardinal points as easily
wltb your wstch as wltb a compass.
Point tba twelve on tbe dial toward
tba sua. Half way between the point
at which the boor band la and tba n
tsrJIH MCtMSoata. That point to
catrd U..HU, cast and west follow, as
course. Without explanation this
sooud Ilk Icgerdeuialu, but it la In
reality simple and easily understood
At noon the sun is due south and the
hour baud pointed toward 12. The sun
and the hour hand both travel for-
ward, but ns the hand goes around tbe
diuJ twice in the twenty-four hour
and the sun revolves about the earth
but once In that period of time, It fol
lows that tbe baud's speed Is double
thut of the sun; therefore, by dividing
tbe dislunce touched by the hour hand
from 12 you find south.
People who live much In the open, as
do ranchers and farmers, can general
ly tell time fairly accurately by tb
sun, and some, although the feat Is
semlngly more difficult, can tell time
from the length of the shadow thrown
by the sun. The shadow Is, however
."ti easy way of determining heights.
For exauiple. suppose you wished to
ascertain the height of 9 tree when
walking. Pace the shadow of the tree
made by the sun and then plaut youi
walking stick and pace Its shadow. As
many more or less times Its length as
the shadow Is will give you the dis
lunee of shadow thrown by the guii.
For Instance, suppose tbe shadow to
I't three times the length of the stick,
then It Is nine feet, for the slick If
tlree, and If you then divide yout
paced distance of the tree's itiadow
by three you will get fairly near th
actual height of the tree. New York
Only Captain of Industry Who Pre
fer to Work fur blary.
Mr. Schwab represents the highest
development of the salaried employe,
writes Samuel E. MoITett, in au arti
cle concerning the president of the
United States Steel Corporation In tb
Cosmopolitan. Other men compara
tL'Ifh 1,1m tta rt !.,,,...
have soon graduated from the pay roll
to work for themselves. Rockefeller,
III11, Spreckels, Mills, Stanford, Uunt
ington, Hopkins and Carnegie all be-,
gau poor, but all turned their cuergiei 1
to putting themselves Into a position
in which everything amassed bVthel.
brains would go Into their own bank
deposit-. Schwab alone has been con-
tent to remain a glorl.ied wage-earner,
cheerfully putting ten millions Into
the pockets of his employers for every
mlUlon retained by himself. I
Mr. Schwab Is a socialist In disguise.
He recalls the difficulty a workei
found under the old individualistic sys
tem of secuilug a foothold ln business
for himself. Ills savings would not
buy a factory, or a partnership In one.
The exceptional man could save
enough to start a little workshop and
he could add to bis business from day
to day until with good luck he hud
built up a great industry, but tbe aver
age wage-earner could never hope to be
his own employer. Now a man w
any thrift at all can buy a share of
stock. A little later he can buy au
other share. Ilefore he knows it he is
perceptibly a partner in the business
that employs him.
This Mr. Schwab believes to be the
direction in which evolution la going
to carry our Industrial system. He
has given his views a dazzling illus
tration In his own person. In his case
it has been not merely the purchase of
one share at a time out of weekly sav
ings, but the acquisition of blocks of
stock ns a reward for conspicuous
Txea Were Too Onnroua.
From PotUvllle comes a story of an
old chap who is proud to describe him
self as tbe original auti-cxpansloulst
Soon after the breaking out of hostili
ties with Spain and the passage of tbe
war revenue uct by Congress lie begun
to orate against the new taxes as an
exhibition of federal tyranny. lis
would fairly froth at the mouth as he
denounced the war tariff and would
darkly hint at the possibility of a lat
ter day Patrick Henry aud a new awak
ening of the people to a sense of the
injustice. A Bevere cold laid him low,
and his doctor, finding him asleep one
day and thinking a little blistering
would d him wood, applied a tine large
mustard plaster to the old fellow's back.
The burning, stinging bite of the heated
mustard awoke the crusty patient . ho
rolled over In ogouy for a minute or
two, clapped one hand behind him, felt
the plaster, and, frantically tearing .t
off, roll red:
"Has It come to this, that an old man
like me can't even die peaceably In his
bed without having the government
come along aud clap fl revenue stamp
ou blmr- Philadelphia Times,
Ha Ate " Innards."
An actor who wus accustomed to
spend his summers In Wlilou, Me.,
noted when, as the custom was, a farm
er "killed a critter," the liver, sweet
breads, kidneys, etc., were thrown
away. He offered lo purchase these
delicacies, but though he got the good,
the "sturdy farmer scorned his prof
fered gold." Not long after he observed
as he walked through the village thai
be was the cynosure of all eyes, and
was followed by a wondering. If nol
admiring, crwd. chiefly romped of
tbe young. "Aha!" thought he, "I can
not escape my fame; my glory as au
actor has followed me even to this ob
cure hnnilet." And he was mlghtllj
puffed up till he overheard one yokel
shout to another: "KM. there goes the
feller what cats Innards!" Huston
Journal. ,
No Pneuinoitla in ibn Artttlo.
Pneumonia Is practically unknown
within the Arctic circle, observes Dr
15. v, Kelsey, who has returned to Eug
land from a sixteen ' tnanths' stay li.
Alaaka. .
We never did admire the sort oi
woman who refuses to work, but wb
la willing to charge other woman fo.
enrolling then la oaelaM club.
irntili f J l I WTt'P V
A 1 AJi I Jttl ll 1 I
Will Have a Floor Space of Over Four
teen Acre and Nearly 4,000 Person
Will Find Km ploy men t 127 Presses
111 Be (tanning.
The new government printing office
8 approaching completion and will be
a gigantic atTuir, writes Itene Bacbe,
the well-known Washington corre
spondent. It will cost $2,000,000, and
will provide a total flr space of over
fourteen acres more than two and a
half time? the floor area available in
the present establishment. As yet the
building Is entirely covered with scaf
folding, hut It is substantially finished,
except for the Interior woodwork and
painting. It will be the greatest print
ing shop in the world, employing the
services of nearly 4,000 people. Accu
rately speaking, 3,8H persons will toil
under Its mighty roof, nearly 1,000 of
them being women and girls. Each
year it will expend the euormous sum
of $4,000,000, nearly three-fourths of It
for labor, and in Its main composing
room 824 printers will be enguged In
sticking type. Eight hundred and
eighty-five employes will be occupied
In binding tbe books and documents
produced, and au additional 0(55 will
do nothing but fold the printed sheets.
Figures like these give a notion of
the gigantic scale on which the shop
Will be conducted. Each twelvemonth
it will consume for bindings the skins
of 36,000 sheep and 11,000 goats. In ad
dition to 75,000 square feet of "Russia
leather," made from cowhide. It will
use up In a like period 8,000 tons of
white paper, 40,000 pounds of printing
ink and 37,000 pounds of glue, together
with !' thV iE
O0OK8 B,lu , "',
of M lt!f for the f VOlUme8
une . ,
P wi be Tu f.Mo.r
"on In tbe grea building their total
ln a r'VJ! , n7
W a,'out 1)'000 ,mpr.
ee presses are of every
"ind. one of them be ng capable of
lrlnl,nK cnrdf, 00 l, fr"V
WeO OI U1IBIU1-UUU1U Ul - -'
000 cards per hour, while four other
machines turn out 40,000 printed en-
velopes every sixty minutes. The quan
tity of type actually employed will be
approximately 1,500,000 pounds, or 7;"j0
No other government spends any
thing like the amount of money on
public printing that Is squandered by
Uncle Sam. In this particular Congress
Is always disposed to a reckie.ss ex
travagunce, and hence the huge size
of the plant required. Public documents
ore on important perquisite or ejia
tors and Hepresentat.ves, who scatter
them broadcast among their constitu
enls. One hundred tons of a single re
port now in press will be Issued and
distributed In this manner, and the
total number of volumes of various
kinds of literature turned out by the
office in a twelvemonth Is about 1,000,
UoO, representing a total cost of some
what more than $1,000,000.
owndnys government books, like
other kinds of publications, require Il
lustrations, and the cost of these ran
up to about $300,000 last year. It is
i,afe to say thut ten years from now
uncle Sam's printing shop will spend
pretty nearly hulf a million dollars for
pictures. The most costly illusjauoni,
are for the reports for the Department
of Agriculture and the bulletins of the
llureau of Ethnology, many of these
being In colors. Each bureau furnishes
us own pictures, but the printing office
has them reproduced by firms ln Bos
tun, New York and elsewhere. These
i.nns print the illustrations and return
Uii'in to Washington, ready to be
hound with the text.
The most Important Job the big shop
has to execute Is the printing of the
congressional Record. Ibis dally news
paper, which records nothing but the
loiugs of the National legislature, is
vritten from beginning to end by the
uillclal reporters of the House and Sen-
..te, who take down In shorthand every
word that Is said at either end of the
Capitol. They dictate from their notes
to typewriters, oud the material thus
reduced to typescript Is sent over to
the printing offices in batches by nies
s, ngers. 1 he Record Is ready for d s
trlhutlon early next morning. One hun
dred compositors are employed exclu
sively In the business of setting type
for It, one department of the printing
office being devoted inclusively to this
publication, which Is "set up" and sent
to press Just like any newspaper, being
delivered every day to about 0.00U sub
scribers. Koch representative In Con
gress gets 22 copies dally, while a Sen
ator Is entitled to 42. Anybody may
subscribe, the price being $1.50 a
month; but the paper Is not directly
piotltable to Uncle Ham, Inasmuch as It
costs $12.1.000 a year.
The printing of bills Is another Im
portant feature of the work of the es
tablishment. Though only a few hun
dred of the measures submitted to Con
gress In a year become laws, millions
of copies of them have to be printed.
A bill must go through a great many
phases before It can become a law, and
during the process of Its evolution It
has to be printed again and ngoln per
haps dozens of times. If finally passed,
a single copy of It I printed on the
finest parchment, and this goes to Pres
ident Roosevelt for his signature
Msmbarof the "rtitallblnaars' Trnat"
Tells n Mnry on Himself.
Grouped In the lobby one warm day,
taking In the llrfbt southerly breexe,
war half a dosen of tba House leaders.
One of tlie unique sights of California i the remarkable salt deposits at
Salton. This region lies in a depression some 300 feet below tk level, sad is
thought at one time to have been the bed of an ancient sea or lake. The tract
of land looks like a vast snow field.
The rock salt deposits cover about 1.000 acres, and are uow worked for com
mercial purposes. The output from this place is about 2,000 tons of salt annually,
valued at from $6 to $34 per ton. The labor is done chiefly by Indians, who are
able to withstand the intense heat of the desert (running up to 150 degrees iu
June) better than the white men.
The method employed Is as follows: The salt is first collected by a peculiar
plough having four wheels, in the center of which sits an Indian to guide it.
This Is run by a cable from a distant dummy engine. This machine cuts a broad
and shallow furrow eight feet wide end three feet long, throwing up the ridges
on both sides. Indians follow la the wake of the plough with hoes and pile up
tbe salt in pyramids.
Then and there the "Spellbinders'
trust" was formed. The coming cam
paign and the probable amount of
speaking that would be required were
discussed at length, and then the mem
bers of the trust drifted Into anec
dotes of tbe stump.
Charles Mttlefield. of Maine, led off.
"I'm going to tell one on myself," said
be, and soon he had a large and In
creasing audience. Including pages and
doorkeepers. Mr. Llttlefield's voice, it
must be remembered, Is famous from
Seattle to Eastport, and his constitu
ents In Maine Insist that tbey can bear
the rumbling when he speaks in tbe
"It was up In Buffalo in the '00 cam
paign." he continued. "A local lawyer
and I had been assigned to a big meet
ing over on the tough side of the city.
The local man, who was evldeutly mak
ing his first campaign appearance, was
introduced first, and proceeded to draw
from bis inside pocket a manuscript,
from which he started to read.
"It was a pretty hard crowd, taken
all together, but at the same time they
were a bright lot and up-to-date. My
friend read on for some twenty min
ute,! under great difficulty, and then
tbe crowd began to cheer ond shout In
derision. Nothing like this, however.
could slop him. All kinds of questions
were fired at him, but he paid no atten
Hon and continued to read off long lists
of statistics. At last the chairman of
tbe meeting signaled the leader of the
band to stort up. The band played
.'Home,' Sweet Home,' as a gentle hint,
but the Rpeaker only waited until it
finished and then continued. At the
end of an hour of tbe worst rot I ever
heard, my ambitious friend closed in
what he thought was a bluze of glory
" 'Three cheers for the speaker for
finlshlngl" some one yelled.
"The cheers were given, and then I
was introduced. It was a tough prop
osition, but I Jollied along with the
crowd for some fifteen minutes, and
then launched Into what I thought was
my best line of talk. I finished all
right, and tbe chairman said I had
made a hit.
"In driving to the hotel after the
meeting tbe local speaker said to me:
'Mr. Llttleffcld, If I only had your
voice, with what I have to say, I
would be a wonder.' "
Just then a roll call was announced
and the trust adjourned. Washington
correspondence New York Herald.
It I Only a Crust of Hread, but Chl
caid) Woman Prizes It Highly.
A unique souvenir of the banquet
given at the Richmond House In Chi
cago In 18(10 to the Prince of Wales,
now King Hdward VII., Is possessed
by Mrs. Charles Hunt, of this city.
Mrs. Hunt Is the molher of Mrs. Moses
,1. Weutwortb, wife of the nephew of
"Long John" Weutwortb, Mayor of the
city at the time of the Prince's visit.
Mr. Hunt was Cily Treasurer then,
and he and bis wife were living nt the
Richmond House. In deference to the
hotel's distinguished guest they gave
up their suite of rooms for his use. Af
ter the guests had left the dining room
nt the close of tbe banquet Mr. Hunt
went In with a number of olhers out
of curiosity.
Seeing others socking souvenirs, mid
thinking that, as he and his wife bad
given up their rooms lo the Prince they
were especially entitled to a souvenir,
Mr. Hunt took a small piece of toast
from the Prince's plate. lie placed It
In a Utile box and presented It lo bis
wife "us a present from (lie Prince."
She has carefully kept the crust, and
It Is In an excellent stote of preserva
tion, a little harder to bite, however,
than It was 42 years ago.
In connection with the Prince's toast
Mrs. Moses J. Wentworth tells an an
ecdote. It seems the Prince wns not
feeling well on the night of the ban
quet He had so little appetite that a
piece of tonst was about all he cared to
eat. Having satisfied his slender ap
petite, and been at the table as long ns
be wished, he announced, as Is usual
wlih royalty on such occasions, "I have
finished." This was the signal for all
persons at the table to quit eating, rise
n ml then follow the Prince from the
Now It happened that "Long John"
Wentworth, the Mayor, was a good
deal hungrier on this occasion than tbe
Prince win.
lie had started In to eat
something of a "oimL" when tba
Prince's announcement, "I have fin
ished," Interrupted him.
'Well, I have not finished," be ex
claimed, In a tone of good-natured but
Injured protest However, he arose
with the rest and left the table. But
he afterward told one of his friends
that he took advantage of the first op
portunity to "skip off by himself" and
get something more to eat. Chicago
English Landlord's Ways.
The secretary of the Tenants' Pro
tective League sends us details of a pe
culiarly unjust and bard-hearted dis
traint on the part of a Peckham land
Last December a widow took a house
In Peckhsm upon an annual tenancy,
at a rental of 30, and was foolish
enough to sign an agreement containing
a clause which specified that the rent
was to be paid quarterly In advance.
She was allowed to enter without any
prepayment nnd on the 25th of March
six montns, tia, was demanded, one
quarter due and one quarter ln advance.
This, of course, she was unable to pay,
and before March had run out her home
was stripped from kitchen to attic of
all its furniture save and except what
was contained In one small bedroom,
where one of her daughters lay dying
of cancer.
On Saturday Inst the broker paid a
second visit and made a second dis
traint, broke the lock and forced an
entrance Into tbe sick room, and cleared
it of everything, even to the beef tea
standing by the bedside, and would
have taken the bed upon which the dy
ing girl lay, but was prevented by the
accidental presence In tbe room, when
the door was brutally forced, of a well
known Church of England clergyman,
who was tendering to the girl dying of
cancer spiritual consolation. His de
termined protest saved the girl her bed.
The Tenants" Protection League will
take the earliest opportunity of holding
a public meeting to protest against such
barbarous proceedings. They have ac
cordingly convened a meeting for 3
o'clock on Sunday afternoon on Peck
hain Rye, where the chairman will give
chapter and verse, names and details
of tbe outrageous acts here described)
London Chronicle.
Anecdotes of the Queen's Girlhood.
Mrs. Snrnb Tooley, ln her recently
published "Life of Queen Alexandra,"
tells some very Interesting anecdotes of
her majesty. As a child the Queen'6
surroundings were exceedingly simple.
"Mamma," said the little Princess one
day, "why may not Dngmnr and I wear
iniisliu dresses?" "Because," replied
her mother, "your father Is not a rich
man, and muslin dresses cost so much
to get up." There were not many serv
ants at the Gule Palnls, where tbe
Queen's early life wus spent nnd the
young Princesses were required to dust
their own rooms and to make them
selves useful at meal times. A gentle
man who wus Invited one day to par
take of the Informal family luncheon
at the Palais recalls that the butter
dish chanced to need replenishing, and
the Princess Louise (of Denmark), in
stead of summoning a servant turned
to her eldest daughter and said: "Al
exandra, will oii fetch some more but
ter?" And the future Queen of Eng
land departed on the homely errand tc
tbe larder.
ltenson to Fear.
The following conversation is salti
to have taken place between two Boer
leaders when It was first announced
that the Australians were sending a
contingent to South Africa: "I see,"
sold one, "that some people called Aus
tralians are coming over here. Do you
know anything about them?" "Not
much," was the reply, "but I hear that
eleven or them Dent All England a year
or two ago." "Good heavens," cried the
first "and they suy that five thousand
of them are coming here!"
A Hard-Worked Hero.
"When I starred ns 'The Drummer
Boy of Shlloh,' " said the eminent actor,
"I was on the stoge during the entire
play and spoke nine-tenths of the lines."
That," snld the low comedian, "was
a long roll." Baltimore American.
The matter of kin settles whether a
wedding Is to be a home or church af
fair. Aristocratic kin who look well
on parade means a church wedding;
lots of poor kin means a "cosy woddlni
I at homa."
Arizona Hunchsra Corral as Shoot
l-'or several tnontbs past tha mooa
taln Hons, bears and wolvea that
abound in some parts of Aiisona have
been playing sad havoc with the stock
of the ranch of Colin Campbell In Co
chise County. With 10,000 calves on
the range, tbe heavy losses In calvea
and yearlings by tbe ravagea of the
wild animals have cnt down tbe divi
dends of the stock company which
owns the range.
"Charley" Montgomery, famous all
over Arizona as a hunter and who was
chief of scouts under Cen. Crook dur
ing the trouble wltb the Apaches, wa
engaged to exterminate the animal
which have been raiding the herds.
Montgomery engaged 100 men of tba
Pina tribe and held a big round-up of
the "varmints."
Early in the morning his Indians and
a score of the cowboys surrounded a
district five mllea square ln the foot
hills of the Chiricabua range and grad
ually closed in toward the center, with
200 dogs In the rodeo. As they reached
the center of the circle catamounts,
black bears, eoyotes and an occasional
grizzly bear tried to break through tbe
line, but were met by a shower of bal
lets. Dozens of animals perished in
the attempt to escape, but 200 others
were finally cornered ln a box canyon,
while redskins and cowpunchers pick
ed them off from the rocks above.
There were scores of close conflicts
with the enraged and frightened brutes
and in one melee four Indians were
fearfully mangled by a griszly before
their shots finally finished the bear.
One of the reds, Antonio Hermo, a for
mer chief of the tribe, received fatal
wounds from the claws of a big fellow.
The dogs closed In on the victims and
dozens of them were killed before too
slaughter was complete. The final
count showed nineteen dead mountain
lions, five grizzlies, two lynxes and
over 100 coyotes doubtless the biggest
round-up of wild animals that has ever
occurred In Arizona. Chicago Sunday
Has Everything; in Slock From Wind
mills to Trained Horse. ,
The character ill fiction who bought
a aoor plate on wnicn was engraven
the name of "Thompson" with a "p,
because there might be a daughter who
would grow up and marry a man of
that name, has a parallel In real life,
says the New York Post. This worthy
lives on Long Island, where, besides a
cozy home, he has a vast barn filled
with bargains from a thousand auction
sales. No one knows how many object
he possesses in his treasure house. Ac
cording to rumor there were more than
10,000 a decade ago, and the list has
been growing steadily ever since.
On one occasion he secured some an
cient circus horses, which were so ac
complished that they could do every
thing but talk, and for many months
he tried to persuade his friends and
neighbors to start a hippodrome ln or
der to utilize his purchases. On an
other occasion he notified a party of ac
quaintances that he had Just secured
three misfit lonibstoias at a great bar
gain. By cutting out letters they would
be Just as good as new, and would coot
only one-quarter the price of first-hand
ed ones.
One evening when he was canvassing
for orders a friend who had become
wearied of his Importunities said:
'Look here, my good man, I'm sorry
that you never have anything I want
or that I don't want what you are al
ways offering; but I Would like to do
business with you."
The bargain hunter and museum
owner responded: "If there Is any
thing you want I am sure I must have
The other unwarily replied: "There
Is only one thing I need, and of course
enn't get that ln this part of the
country. It s a steel windmill, like
those they use out in Kansas."
To his dismay his companion grasped
his band energetically, remarking: "I
knew It, I knew it. I've got Just that
kind of a windmill In my barn!"
What He Meant.
Slight mistakes In speaking a foreign
language or in understanding it when
some one else speaks It are commonly
nothing more than amusing, but a
member of the Alpine Club mentions
an Instance of a more serious nature.
He was climbing one of the Alps with
a guide, who persisted In talking bad
English instead of Indifferent French.
"My guide," he says, "bad just
crossed a snow bridge over a wlda
crevasse and turned to await tr-c on the
farther side. I asked him If It waa
weak. He answered, 'No strong.'
"Naturally I attempted to walk
across It Instead of crawling. I had
almost reached the other side when tba
bridge gave way, and after a delirious
scramble to save myself I subsided
helplessly into the crevasse,
"However, I did not go far, and
when I had crawled ou, with snow
lown my neck and up my arms ,ind
In all my pockets, 1 discovered that my
I'riend had meant 'Not strong.' I strong.
v enjoined him to reserve his TCngHsb
'.euceforth for use In tbe valleys."
A Steady Death Hate.
Lady Tourist This must be a Tery
icalthy village. Now, what may Ui
eath-ratc be?
Old Inhabitant Wonderful steady,
la'ain wonderful steady. One deauh
o each person right along!"
Some wag In tbe audleuce asked tha
udy reckoner on tbe platform a seem
igly unanswerable question. Buld hst
"When waa Carnctacua vaccinated Y
'When Britons Dew U anas,
.ue Instant response.
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