Harrison press-journal. (Harrison, Nebraska) 1899-1905, August 07, 1902, Image 2

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President Roosevelt h saddle burse
Ana leads a strenuous life.
"Glad to see you" Is one of the little
Ilea that are worked overtime.
When a young husband becomes a
he feels a happy -J he. Jocks
The Filipinos will be much happier
they quit running tor me sou uv-
runnlng for office.
Love Isn't satisfied wiib a cottage
any more unless it is provided with
apea plumbing and a servant's room,
Maarly every time Hetty Green goes
nte court she has a new lawyer. She
mutably doesn't want any one man to
lad out too much about her business.
When a girl secures damages in a
Jawsuit because the jury Is said to be
iBaasnced by her beauty she is about
m near heaven as it is possible to get
withoi't dying.
anntos I'umoiit has decided not to
Sferate in London, probably owing to
the fact that King Kdward wants to
ollze the higli-flying business
there for the present.
Canary Islander has found out
mssr to draw electric iower from vhe
tBnaphere In so simple a manner that
a child may operate the machinery.
AM that Is necessary now is to get your
Baltimore man who was arrested
m other night "with a pair of stolen
knMri In his possesion, pledged that
he stole them because be was hungry.
Da stake the excuse plausible he should
i grabbed a straw hat Instead.
- think he will carry this Island
hama In his pocket" This was a re
Bark by Sebastian In the play of the
st; and therein Swtkspeare
idowed an apprehension which
Mka Bull now experiences when he
tataks of the. commercial operations of
Hi Cousin Jouathan.
Yaa can get a plauked-sbad board
Snoe from oak grown on the bum
SBKka of Southern Florida" for 75
BBBBi or a dollar at a Boston store, but
BB cooked on these boards will taste
as store like that cooked in the opes by
Ob amber man woo splits his own plank
OB tbe corn cooked on the kitchen
at home tastes like that which
I boys roast in the field on a moon-
f&t Bight In the eHriy autumn. And
fjaw good that corn does taste!
coincidence of a tire following
me of an insurance policy some
points to criminality. Not so,
er, was It In the case of a cer-
CoUege president. As the story
, be received a note which shows
a corporation may have humor,
communication read: "Dear Sir--
And draft for five hundred
We note that this policy went
t at noon, ami tire did not oc-
four o'clock. Why this delay?"
hairpin "as a surgical instru
ct troated quite seriously by a
who, writing in a technical
name fifteen different ways
SB SrBlch It may he used in an emer
gBBCjr, to ease pain or even to save life.
Mr example, It might serve aa a prole,
SBrgical needle. In place of a drain-
to pernor foreign bodies, to
a blood-vessel, or to close a
"One balr of a woman can
than a hundred pair of
wrote old James Howell almost
I centuries ago. It may be that
I of tbe virtue of the hair goea into
Wa ahall never have Justice for the
aa long as accepted natur-
l entomologists are men. Here
ww have the aeaertiou. with reference
a the Invading seveuteeu-year locusts,
BBBt It Is the adult female that causes
tfca Injury to trees." Of course; it is
Stars y the female. Whatever misery
BBBMa to the world the female did it.
tt WO know the temper of the women
af as-day. they will not rest under this
discrimination, but will come
boldly in club and family cir-
ala ta repel tbe miserable assault on
bbs lady locnat. While we are not ac-
wlth tbe conversation of Io
wa dare maintain wltb Dr. Julia
that there is not a female locust
depraved .and destructive habits
caanot trace what Is bad In its
i to the influence of an erll male,
oa the other band, there is not
locnat that will not readily
'f (a tbe elevating Influences of
Ct BWthir and staters. We are very
af these stupid scientific dls-
and earnestly desire that
Crj. wtl be rented by the study
I of the women's dabs.
"LJ m boc tw eanratra, or so-caiiea
jy edarated man. It la sot the
rcy, tt la Bat the meaerrhs,
tfw ralad the destiBlea of tbe
V Car la camp, council, labors
? wad shea. The great lavee-
vC" tryTsaiSBta, the dhsrorer-
tie great w-erks la nter--f
rrri from tat nana of
sjmm nttvt la fMsa
generation. The average man strive,
and saves and accumulates that his
children may have a better opportunity
in life than be has had. In the ma
jority of cases be has handicapped hit
children by turning over to them hi
accumulations. Nearly always It ll
the poor boy who scores success. Ion
have only to look around you to prove
this statement In the striving he de
velops mental and moral fibre while
the rich man's son Is content with
flabby moral and mental fibre. The
poor boy has Incentive while the boy
who is well provided has little ambi
tion And what is true of the boys is
largely true of the girls. It Is from
the ranks of the poor that the great
and successful, of the race emerge.
What man who has measurety suc
ceeded in building a business or a
character will doubt that Andrew Car
negie Is right?
The requisite quality that makes for
success In life undoubtedly varies with
the vocation In life that a man follows
The god soldier Is not of necessity he
good lawyer, nor in the good business
man of necessity a good diplomat. Ev
ery walk of life requires different quail
ties to insure success; but one quality
is essential to all, and that Is concentra
tion of effort. The young man enter
Ing upon a business career needs thie
quality it Is tbe one thing without
which he cannot hope to be a success
ful business man. There is a crisis in ev
ery man's life when he Is called upon to
niahe a momentous choice between the
road to success and that leading to
failure. He is like a man walking along
a straight road who unexpectedly en
counters a fork in the pathway. Here
three road diverge. The center one,
that most frequently taken, leads to
mediocrity. Of the other two, one lead
to success and the other to failure;
there is no finger post, and a man's de
cision depends entirely upon bis own
intuition. This Intuition is merely the
outcome of concentration. If a man
has devoted his liest efforts to the busi
ness he has In hand, be possesses the
ability to make a wise choice; If not,
he Is lost. Xo one can advise at the
critical moment If the individual has
earnestly endeavored to master his
business, and has acquired a thorough
knowledge of tt, he is In a position to
inap out the right course for himself;
if not, no advice can prove availing.
Even though he Is put upon the right
road, lucking concentration, he will
wander from the beaten track into one
of the many by-paths that lead through
the intervening thickets separating th
road to success from that leading to
mediocrity. To succeed to-day, a mac
must possess originality and persever
ance; he must master and understand
himself and his business and have
stamina. "Whatsoever thy hand find
eth to do, do It with thy might," Is a
very old but. at the same time, a very
wise argument. Half-heartedness in
business ouiy leads to disappointment.
To succeed, a man must concentrate bis
thoughts and energies upon his work,
and such concentration Is bound to
bring Its own reward. Every boy en
tering a business life should have that
luea In view, and if he lakes no inter
est in the business with which be is
connected, it were Itetter for biin and
the firm that he sever his connection as
early as possible.
Tbe Impressionist had finally sold on
of his creations. A brother artist who
had arrived, or as we say "got there,"
not only persuaded one of his own
customers to buy a painting by the
less successful man. at a good figure,
but got him au invitation to visit the
patron's house to see the picture as it
bung on tbe wall.
It was a painting of a sky, a bridge
and a stream, aud as they stood before
It the purchaser fairly exhausted his
vocabulary of art In expatiating on the
naturalness of the water and rue poetic
beauty of the sky. Tbe man who had
done tiie painting smiled and smiled,
but at the same time mopped beads of
perspiration from his brow. Finally,
says the New York Tribune, which
prints this story of agony, he got his
friend Into the hallway and there ex
ploded. v
"Itood gracious!" he groaned
"They've hung my picture upside
Testing the Postal Hervlce.
To test the safety of Uncle Horn's
iiihIIs and the honesty of ostal clerks,
a gentleman, known to the Detroit
Free Press, made an experiment which
is. at first sight, rather foolish, but
which, in its result, is pleasant to think
He pasted on one side of a silver
dollar a bit of paper on which he wrote
his daughter's address. On tbe other
side he put s one-cent stamp, sending
the dollar at merchandise rates.
The experiment was the result of a
dispute with a foreigner, who doubted
the American's assertions of the safety
of the L'nted 8ta.es malls, and warned
him that that was tbe last be would
bear of his money.
Two days later tbe man received a
letter from tils daughter acknowledg
ing the receipt of the dollar. , ,
Mot on I he Oranrt Jtmrj.
Here I the way a Pawnee Count)
man confessed at a revival meeting in
Kansas. He had been pressed to re
pent, and Anally got up and said:
"Dear friends, I feel the spirit moving
In me to talk aud tell what a bad men
I've been, but I can't do it while tbe
grand Jury la In session." Tbe Lord
will forgive yon," shouted tbe preach
er. "I guess that's right," said tbe
penitent, "sut ha ain't an tba grand
tm." . :
TTbsb 9 ma site Be tang as amv
tz is a9 finest, fcte woBMa isCa
: -'i xttLj sriri cxirsrt tar
Tariff ts Father to Trust.
Because the Standard Oil and the
Hard Coal Trust have iKthe beuetit
of a tariff ou t'aeir products the lte
publican party scon's at the Democratic'
contention that the tariff is the father
of the trusts". That the complicity of
the railroads with their discrimina
tions against independent companies
has taken these two out of the catn
gory of tariff-made monopolies does
not alter the general proposition at all.
As well might it be urged that the fact
that some burglars used crowbars in
their housebreaking shows tbe injus
tice of the ban on burglars' tools.
When the Steel Trust is able to fur
nish structural iron cheaper In Eu
rope and Africa than it will supply
the same material here; when Ameri
can sewing machines cost less In Eng
land than they do at the factory doors;
when the Food Trust raises the price
of meat to famine figures because It Is
secure against the competition of Can
ada mutton and Mexican beef, tbe po
tency of tbe element of duties In their
monopolies requires no further demon
stration, though the refusal to give
Cuba the reciprocity we owe her, at
the behest of another trust, is cumula
tive evldeuce of the same thing. New
York American.
Farmer Victim.
Concluding bis prediction that tbe
corn crop of 1902 will be a record
breaker, Paul Morton has this to say
about the farmers:
"There Is no gainsaying the fact that
the fanners as a class are fast growing
rich, and the time will come in my
judgment when they will be the richest
people In the country, taken as a class.
Furthermore, the time Is coming when
the farmers of the Mississippi Valley,
and I use this term in its broadext
sense, wfll be the richest farmers In
the world."
This used to be true even of the
farmers of the stony, hilly and sterile
lauds of the East. Covetousnesa of
the wealth of tbe American farmer Is
what furnished the energy with which
the protective tariff conspiracy against
him was pushed. He fell into the trap
uiai whs sei ior in hi auu iruni uis j
toil and savings have been amassed j
many of the stupendous fortunes
wbhh tbe monopoly tariff has rolled
Actuated politically as they now are,
the farmers of the West are likely to
continue an easy prey to the exactions
of the tariff cormorants, which will
keep pace with the wealth which they
covet. Chicago Chronicle.
Wisconsin Democrat.
The La Folletteltes In Wisconsin
were not satisfied with tbe overwhelm
ing defeat which they administered to
tbe "stalwarts," but they "rubbed It
in" vigorously in their speeches of
gratulatlon over their victory. La Kol
lette himself In his sveerh of accept
ance led the process of applying salt,
pepper, vinegar aud other Irritants to
the sores of the defeated faction.
Under these circumstances it is not
probable that the "stalwarts" will give
tbe La Follette ticket sn enthusiastic
support. There will be no open bolt,
but there will be a still movement
which will cause a loss of thousands'
of votes perhaps tens of thousands I
to the Republican ticket.
It is possible that the Democrats
with wise nominations ou a conserva
tive platform may carry the State.
With ex-Senator Vilas or General j
Bragg as a candidate for governor they
would stand a reasonable show of suc
cess at the polls. If Colonel Vilas
should be nominated and elected an
other Important factor would appear J
In tbe Democratic presidential situs
tlou. Chicago Chronicle.
Doing Justice to Bcbley.
AU the newspapers which have un
dertaken to maintain that Rear Ad
miral Schley was sent to Santiago as a
mere spectator of what went on after
Rear Admiral Sainon got there natu
rally find fault with tbe Louisiana leg
islature for passing a law which pro
hibits tbe use In tbe schools of that
Htate of any history which does not
give complete credit to Kcbley for the
naval victory of July 3. But the
belief that if anything had gone wrong
on that day the partisans who are so
anxious to deprive Rear Admiral
Schley of any share of the credit fur
the success of our fleet would have
loaded tbe responsibility on him Is very
strong In the minds of the American
people, and this feeling Is not likely to
change. Hartford, Conn Time.
Why the Convention Failed,
There Is only one point at whh h
Governor La Follette and the Republi
can convention seems to have faltered.
While declaring for a Just and equit
able system of taxation they failed
to voice tbe sentiment of the ieople of
Wisconsin and every other Western
State In favor of Just and equitable
federal taxation, wbh-b is rendered Im
possible by tbe continued existence of
existing tariff schedules.- BL Paul
aletaw the Maadard.
The Democratic congressional cam
paign committee Is taking a moat com
mendable coarse la making efforts
watch are proving successful to la
daee men af aete and af national repu
tatlea l) arct nomlBstJoas far Cm-
wKfc tat etjsct la flaw ef site-
ing men of caliber, standing and expe
rience In the House of Itepresentatlves
who would be able to take a command
lug -stand and maintain It,, upon fiues
tions of national Importance which
will come before the next Congress.
Syracuse Telegram.
Moody Give Good Advice.
A good deal of trumpet-blowing is
heard In connection with a bill which
Congressman Uttlefleld of Maine is
supposed to be preparing at the alleged
Instance of President Hoosevelt. He
is going to show the Republican Con
gress after election bow to bridle
aud tame the rampant trusts "without
sacrificing the tariff, which Is sacred."
President Roosevelt has got out an In
junction against the beef trust under
existing law, and Is thinking about en
joining tbe coal trust and perhaps some
others. All this is done without inter
fering with the "sacred tariff," and the
people who keep on paying war taxes
for beef and coal see how utterly use
less it Is. As Mr. Moody says, the only
way to stop trust extortion Is to take
away from the trusts their tariff pro
tection. This is a pretty bold statement
of the truth to come from a member of
the administration, and it Is decidedly
refreshing. We commend the Idea of
the Secretary of Wuf to Mr. Roosevelt
and Mr. Mttlefield. Boston Post
Just What Is Wanted.
General Fltxhugh I-e fears that Cu
ba may drift from commercial depres
sion to anarchy, and that In conse
quence we may have to intervene to
restore and maintain order, which Is a
long synonym for annexation. Bless
(ieneral Lee's Innoceut military heart
to wreck Cuba and then buy the Island
In cheap Is the very program a number
of congressmen have proposed to them
selves. Annexation through wreckage
is their aim, which, unless Congress Is
more generous at tbe next session than
It was at tbe last, they may be able to
accomplish. Boston Transcript.
Increased Cost of Living.
The cost of living continues to show
Increases with almost every month,
and the American consumer is being
made to understand that wben he
swallows the wind of the prosperity
barker and whistles In tune with tbe
Republican campaign songs be must
pay dear for his whistle. Every day Is
bringing to tbe front new facts to
stress the great paramount issue of
forthcoming campaigns the Issue of
the people's rights against tbe power
aud privileges of tbe trusts. Atlanta
- The Remedy That I Needed.
Suits against trusts to compel them
to lie trusts according to law are all
very well In their way. But such
suits, as a means of giving permanent
relief to the people from trust robbery,
are about a efficacious as poultices
for appendicitis. What is wanted Is the
destroying surgery of legislation, and
nolKsly can expect that from a Republi
can Congress.-San Francisco Exam
iner. Democratic Prospect Bright.
The shrewdest Republican politicians
recognize tbe possibilities of Demo
cratic reunion and of Democratic vic
tory and that fact of itself should In
crease the determination of Demo
crats to get together in a manner imi
tating the wisdom of the past and
pointing to a renewal of past victories.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Not Much Difference.
There is not much difference between
Canada and tbe United States after sIL
While Canada offers protection ta
those who rob the American govern,
nient, the United Mates offers protec
tion to those who rob the American
Iteople tbe lsef trust and the steel
trust. Rochester Herald.
A Permanent Investment.
A man from the West who is visit
ing Maine recently fell into rouverss
tlon with a quiet old farmer on a train.
He was full of the greatness of the
West, and talked about the big farms
and big crops of bis particular section,
and wound up by saying:
"I suppose you do manage to pick up
a Hvlng on tbese little Maine farms."
The old Maine farmer smiled sadly
and replied:
"Yes: and a few years ago some of
us Invested money In your section and
It Is there yet It was a permanent In
vestment, I guess."
The Western man changed the con
versation. New York Tribune.
A Peep Into tbe Future.
"Well," remarked Gabriel, as he fin-
Isbed polishing his trumpet, "the time
la very near at hand."
For what?" asked St. Peter.
"For us to take possession of the
earth." replied GabrleL
"Yea, thst's a fact." said fit, Peter,
as he Jangled his keys. "Suppose you
take a flier down that way and see
what that fellow Morgan wants for It."
Chicago News.
Te Fiiol Hubby.
Mrs. Gay-Hut I told you to Itemize
the bill.
The Mllllner-Tbe bill I sent you an
the flrst wss Itemised; every Item was
there. .
Mrs. (Jay Oradoaa! Yon don't an
aersuad me. I wast yon ta send only
one Kent sack asonth. or my bason
win never nay Jt-miadelBkia Hrsss.
An Austrian material for preventing .
he rising of dust ou sweeping proves ;
o be cottonseed oil. In a test at VI- j
mna. It was found that floors oiled ,
;wice a year could be swept weekly
a-ithoiit any whirling of the dust, ami
.he material was recomiueu-led for all
ooms receiving many persons, a well
is for laboratories,- libraries and other
places to be kept scrupulously dust
By regulating the food of a milch
ow, M. Spolvcriui claims to have maile
ts milk a satisfactory substitute for
luman milk. The first experiments
.vere made nil a goat by feeding it with
"gg or a little meat In addition to
lie regular food, and later on another
;oat was fed with sprouting grains ;f
hurley. In each case the goat's i.ii'K
tvas changed to the chemical composi
tion of huiuau milk.
In acknowledging au anonymous girt
,t ?2.(JiK) to the Harvard Collect; Oij
ervatory. Prot K. C. Pickering an
nounces that the money will be used
."or the preservation and study of the
jstronomlcal photographs made uud-:r
;he auspices of the observatory. "These
photographs," says Prof. Pickering,
"furnish a history of the entire stellar
universe for the last twelve years
which is not duplicated elsewhere.' A
new building for the storage of these
precious documents is needed, aud
money Is required to pay the expense,
jf having them carefully iuspecled for
yet undiscovered objects erf inteies
Thus the anonymous gift comes very
That it may have the entire Held to
Itself and escape th keen competition
of hosts of tropical relatives for the
nectar and minute insects In the deep
tubed brilliant flowers that please him
best, that Jeweled atom, the rpby
throated bumming bird, sole represent
ative of his family east of the Missis
sippi, travels from Central America or
beyond to Ijibrador and back again
every summer of Its incessantly active
little life. Think what tbe Journey
from Yucatan even to New England
must mean for a ernature so tiny that
Its outstretched wings measure bate
ly two inches across! It is the small
est bird we have. Wherein lodges the
force that propels it through the t,ky
at a speed and a height which takes
it Instantly beyond the range of human
vision? says Neltje Blanchan, in the
Ladles' Home Journal.
One of the difficulties hitherto en
countered by explorers among ihe gi
gantic monuments of ancient Egypt i
the lack of suffleieni light In the buried
chambers anil long pussages of pyra
mids, tombs aud temples. Recently
this difficulty in the exploration of the
great temple of Karuak has been
largely overcome by Prof. Maspcro
through the Introduction of electric
lamps. The pyramids also are to oe
lighted with electricity, their mysle
rlous chambers and passageways pene
trating the interior of the vast struc
ture will be more easily traversed,
and Interesting discoveries may result.
Unless we learn to avoid wast In
the use of coal, says Prof. John Perry,
the world. In a hundred years or so,
will resemble a spendthrift who has
run through his patrimony. What is
needed Is some form of engine to con
vert, as directly and cheaply as possb
ble, the energy of coal into electric
energy. Science, he believes, is capa
ble of achieving the desired result, but
only through united effort, supported
by large capital. He suggests that if
tbe expenditure of $5,0U0,U00 a year
were entrusted for two or three years
to such men as Ird Kelvin or Iord
Rayleigh, the problem might b, solv
Brutal Husband Wanted No Bolitu.le
on His Vacation.
last Saturday, tbe very day on which
a certain young Treasury clerk a
to start away with his wife u ihe
annual leave, the wife received a tele
gram from one of her sisters, aiiiiotin.:-
ing the sudden illness of their mot iter
lu Baltimore. It was, of course, de
cided that the wife would have to go
to her mother's bedside, and is Ihe
Treasury clerk had had his leave grant
ed all In due course, aud as the other
clerks had their leave schedule all fix
ed out, he couldn't see any way fur
It except to start off on Ihe prearrsug
ed trip to Atlantic City by kimseif,
wltb bis wife to follow along later on
In case her mother's llluess proved tiot
to be serious.
The wife, however, couldn't precisely
see this
"Why don't you Join tint cauiplni:
party that's going down the Foom.i
to-night for a week or so, until mam
mi gets better, and then we'll go to the
seaside together?" she suggested.
"They're sll nice boys, you know."
"Don't rsre for these stag outfits
auy more," he replied
"Well," she said, "why csn't you go
to some quiet little plsce over In Mary
land on tbe Chesapeake and star there
until I Join you to go to Atlantic City '"
He didn't make any reply to this, but
looked gloomily out of the window
"Oh," she went on, "why couldn't
you go and visit yonr brother at his
West Vlrglnls farm until I am able to
go to tbe beach with you?"
This Idea didn't appear to make much
of a hit wltb blm, either, and ro he
kept still.
"What fun would It be," she com In
nad, "for yon ta go la that Atlantic
City hotel, whets there sre ebon! forty
girta ta sse ataa, sad all af lbs horrid
thtags grtaamg gt las siea Nfcs cases
"That'll be shout afl a that," ha
broke ot, witu a grin. "I know what
you'd like to have me go to a Trap
pist monastery or to tbe Old Maa's
Home until your mother happena to
come around euough to enable you te
keep your binoculars on me every min
ute of the day or night Or you'd like
to have uie surrender myself for a vag.
and take a turn over on the Eastern.
Branch until you're In shape to accom
pany me. But the hotel In Atlantic's
good euough for me, thanks. There
can't be any too many girls, cbessy
cats or otherwise, in any seashore lio
tel. for me. and If they were in the
ratio of i.'xsi.iss') o 1 the better i ud
tickle me. I'm sorry your mother is
sick, and all that, of course, but I'u
not 112 years of age yet. and the
hedule for my vacation as arranged
Is going through, ou the dot, so far as
I am concerned, and there ain t goiua
to be auy solitary confinement stunts
In it, at that."
Then the brute accompanied her over
to Baltimore, anil went hiking off te
Atlantic City and the chessy cats, leav-
ng her sulky aud suspicious. Waslf
ington Post.
Cold to Be Cured by Fasting, Keating,
Dieting and Light.
Long ago Sydenham said that disease
was an effort of nature to restore
health, But we do not treat a cold aa
if it were of this character; we regard
It usually as a thing to be stopped
mther than to be helped along gently
In its own direction. That is a wrong
Klicy altogether.
There Is (in old proverb, "teed a
cold aud starve a fever." This has led
many people to take a heavy nieaJ
when a cold Is ou them, and such a
heavy meal may have so stimulating
an effect tioii the system thot tbe sys
tem will be put into working order for
short time, and then may 'be able t
go on by itself. But tbe original prov
erb was not a command. The first
part of it was a condition. If you feed
a cold you will have to starve a fevei
later on. That was the real sense, and
the real advice conveyed by It wal
starve a cold."
This gives us tbe bent or at leaat tut
mot economical means of prevention
and cure. When we have a cold tin
balance of nature has somehow Ix-ea
upset. The cold generally starts from
the stomach. (Jive the stomach a res!
fast for a day or two. or for several
days-and prolntbiy the cold itself will
The next means is light. It Is prob
able that if the whole body were al
lowed sufficient light, colds would bl
unknown. Dr. Forles Wlnslow and
Sir James Wyile. lute physician to th
Emperor of Russia, and ninny othet
physicians, all emphasire the Import-
twe of light. The last of these au
thorities calculated tbe effects of light
In the St. Petersburg hospitals. He
found thut the nuiiitwr of patient
cured In rooms which were properly-
lighted was three times greater tbsn
tbe number cured in dark rooms.
Even slow eating and niaxticatlon ot
food might by, itself be sufficient tt
prevent auy cold; even deep, stow, full
breathing through the uuoe might lit
sufficienk even cleansing, followed bj
invigoratiug water treatments, wltD
rubbings and exercise, might be suffi
cient: In fact, there are numerous ave
nues to immunity. We must never Im
agine, writes Eustace Mills In th '
Morning Orcgonlan, that the draught
or tbe wet feet can ever be by then
selves the real and vital cause.
How He IxmI a Pensioa.
"I've just applied for a government
pension," he said, "but I don't think
I'll get It."
"Why not?"
"Well, you see I caught a bad cold
In the Civil War."
"Of course."
"An' It's been a-workUV on me evet
"An' t'other day It broke out in I
galloplu' cottsiimptlou."
"Why. you don't look like a "
"I kno It; an' that's jont where the
trouble comes In. The very minute tlit
consumption lilt uie. tin' I put In my
application to the government, the old
lady fell to prayiu' f r me, an' 'bout s
quarter to l o'clock lust night ol
tneblie it wuz '.II minutes to 10-Ins
prayers wux answered, an' I com
meni-ed to feel Ix-tltr, until now I'll
'feared I'm plum well. Takln' me al
my look no government in the worH
Is a goln' to pension me. i don't wais
to muzzle the old lnd.v, but It looks Ilk
I'll have to." Atlanta Constitution.
Lesson in Politeness,
The oldest Imy Is n treasure, but la
trying to be polite be sometimes sll
up. The father of ibis lad had reared
blm to I always courteous to his el
der. Dn going lo a distant school bit
father had told lit in to telegraph hou
"Yes" If he foiiVverytbliig satlafa
lory snd srrlveV. 1 fely. He did s
but the busy fsthuf had forgotten tl
father had told hi in to telegraph home
arrangement, so. being puxxled, hi
telegraphed bsck: "Yes, what?" Th
answer csme: "Yes, sir."
A Sufferer's Plea.
i-aily-Yoti sr sure you havs put tin
piano. In giss condition ?
Tuner (Julie so, madam. I guess yom
daughter will find It as good as new
when she resumes lier practice.
Lady I hope so. Did you do anytlilni
to It, by the way, Ix-sldrs tuning?
Tuner-Yes; I desdeued tbe hammers
Resr Room Hoarder (sotto voce) I
wi'h. while you were about It, you bat
done the same to the hammerer. Kirk
tnond Dispatch.
What baa become af the old fashion
ed man who. when asked where be get
his new retes. repass! : "tsM sgff
and hsysd 'sr ...