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About The Sioux County journal. (Harrison, Nebraska) 1888-1899 | View Entire Issue (June 28, 1894)
TOPICS OF THE TIMES. A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER ESTING ITEMS. aata mm CrtetHaana tpom the JaapswaUm tmm Dwy-BUeMrtead mm Hmwn Wnaa A hotel register sufficiently Indi cates that brains and bad bandwrit i ng are not inseparable. Whe.v a woman is not declaring 6he is not superstitious, she is worry ing arxmt some signs of bad luck she has seen. Gov. Tillman of South Carolina has twenty barrels of whisker left on his bands by the explosion of the dis pensary. His consolation must' be that tbe older the stuff gets the more It is worth. A pifTrKEsyrEentertainment man aged by a Boston woman shows, bjfa series of tableaux, the manner of con ducting the marriage ceremony from the barbaric age to the present. Mar riage dramas, she calls them. A wealthy widower of, Indianapo lis has lieen compelled three times to secure the arrest of a w diw who an noys him with protestations of affe.c tion, aod wants to marry him in spite of himself. See what misery wealth brings. A glimpse into the gi zard of a Santa Rosa, CaL, rooster evealed the p esence of gold. Unfortunately the deceased had left no memoranda as to whe.e he had been in the habit of dining. As a consequence the Santa Rosa rooster who does not wish to be assayed will do well to hunt a high limb. Six stray curs rubbed against a lamp post in Chicago and died forth with. The post had become charged with electricity from an ad.acent and particularly intelligent trol y wire The item is probably being circulated to create sentiment in favor of a t ansit system not wholly popular just now. The man who Insists on getting off his little joke, whether it is funny or not, is a pleasant Idiot compared to tbe idiot who insists on the practical joke. The practical joker gives his victim a loaded cigar, which explodes, and knocks bis eye out. Or he bangs a red flag on you, without your knowledge or consent, or something of that kind. The first man who whips a practical joker should be .given a medal. ' Among the many trades carried on In the big city of "ew York is clover peddling. Men come from the su burbs every day, driving wagons con taining loads of fresh-cut clov r, which is peddled to teamsters for their horses. The peddle s make a - good thing out of the business, and so do the tired c ty horses, who oth eiwise would have no opportunity to plunge their noses down into a bunch of sweet clover. t A Michigan man had a quarrel with a neighbor and got into the habit of taking au ax to bed with h m. This proved objectionable to bis wife, who disliked the contact of cold steel in her slumbers, and be cause be would not ref aio from con verting their couch into an armory he sou 1 for a divorce, and, it is said, she is it a fair way to win the case. He should have taken up h s quar ters in tbe woodshed. A New Yoik girl who was to have been married to the Vice President of Salvador has changed her mind. Love in a mansion that is likely at any moment to be over an exploding bomb is not without drawbacks. The Vice President of Salvador may hold bis job a week and at tbe end of that time be ba; ked against a stone wall and shot beyond the reach ol worldly honors. Altogether tbe head of the New fork girl appears to be level. The Ameer of Afghanistan bus is sued a proclamation to his people aak ng for their consent to his visit ing London 'for the good of our holy religion and the glory of our great country." Which shows that the Ameer Is eligible to an engagement as a professional wit Tbe only per son who will fail to appreciate the joke is her Majesty the Queen, who silslikes very much to have her royal oriental friends visit London because It Imposes upon ber a few more farth ings in the pound of expenses for en tertainment The owner of a valuable iron de posit in the East learned by accident that bis ore contained a quantity of to element that produce tbe black est dye known to chemistry or com Mrce, d worth some fabulous price par ounce. Delighted at tbe prospect of wealth, be mads ready to prodoos bis dye, bat preliminary in. rtetlgaUoa showed that the total df ind for tbe staff was not more (tea s low pounds per annum He gave tp tbe scheme as a eoamarelal vealon. though be bad. m he e Clares, enough of the stuff to blacken the face of tbe universe. A rjssidewt of Olympia, Wash., named Scott, wandered away and was supposed to be dead. After his estate had been administered upon he reappered, with a denial of tbe allegation of mortal dissolution. The Court would not listen, but told Mr. Scott that having been judiciously declared dead he was dead, and, as a corpse, could expect no standing. Then Mr. Scott missed tbe chance of his life. He could have called the Court a bald -beaded Idiot, for no cadaver could be in contempt, and have smitten the Court with a club, for action for assault will not lie against the deceased. But instead of this he appealed, and the higher court being compos mentis, has de cided that he is still on earth. It is a fact known to tbe builders of sky-scrapers that there is a con stant and uneven motion going on throughout the whole structure, called by some molecular vibration, to an extent which can be measured with tbe naked eye. Girders will move an inch or more, and then come back into place. The causes of ths movement are as yet entirely un Known, as are their extent and dura tion. Another peril which menaces this claps cf building is oxidation. The steel frames are inclosed in fire proofing, and beyond the reach of ex amination or the application of pre servatives. The dtsintegrat on mar be slow, but tbe dar must come, so say good authorities, when the great building must succumb to r ist and ruin. The following stoiy is told by a writer in tbe Pall Mall of an exam lug clerk in tbe audit 01 ce, or treas ury, who. finding in tbe traveling ac count rendered by a queen's mes senger an item of two shillings put down for "porter," thought well to consider this as an item fur refresh ment and as such to be disallowed. When it was explained to blm that the charge in question was lor tbe service of railway Dorters, the great man was mollified, contenting him self with requesting that the appli cant should express himself more clearly in future. "This, sir, should have been entered as 'porterage,' not as 'Dorter.'" Accordingly, in the next account sent in. there figured an item of four shillings lor cab bage," to tbe intense disgust of the quill -driver. TriE suggestion of a Washington correspondent for a star-spangled postage stamp is a good one and me its bea ty approval. Such a stamp as be p o poses would mean sometb'ng nationally . and inter nationally. It would be a constant reminder of the flag to eve ybody in tbe land who sends o receives let ters; that is, to all who have anv in telligence; and it would be a wonder fully cheering sight to the American in foreign lands who often goes for weeks or m3nths w tbout a glimpse of the emb em of freedom except wben he visits minister p.' consul We have had a good deal of va iety In stamps, from tbe wretched pi ture of a locomotive to tbe huge placa d which adve tised the Columbiin Ex position, liit we have had none thus tar In the history of the coun try so d it nctive, so cha acte istlc, and so patriotic as tbe star-spangled stamp would be. Despite tbe acknowledged fact that justice lags more and more every year and that nine out of ten crim inals escape punishment altogether, there are still In this country just and i.p ight not to say Draconian jidges who treat malefactors with proper severity. One of these Dan iels Is located in Martin ( ounty, Ky., and although he is only a justice of tbe Peace, bis dignity and stern seuse of right might well be envied by many of h i brethren of tbe courts of record. Tbe other day a man was brought before blm charged with horse stealing, and after bearing all the evidence the Martin Co .ntr jurist solemnly ajucged that the prisoner be Immediately taken out aod banged by the neck until dead. As the constable was perfectly will ing to execute tbe mandate and the spectators were entirely In sympathy with it, the outlook for tbe criminal was black Indeed; but his counsel, after gasping for breath two or thr times, finally found bis voice lon enough to protest with great vigot and tbe execution was deferred until blgher authority could l appealed U for a stay of judgment Of cours tbls postponed tbe hanging lnded nltely, but the warning has been a valuable one to evil disposed per-'ooi o horses will be stolen in Mart'n County for a long time to come.' The Kiwi. The Klwt of New Zealand lays an egg which weighs fourteen and a half ounces, and tbe contents thirteen ounces. Tbe living bird weighs only slity oanees, so that the weight of sa saw appears to be nearly equal to one fourth of tke whole weight of Um toft. A SONS FOR ALL SEASONS. Ah! Utile ml it aawrr world: Say ao, and a not (baa ftrtoral T to til to Mr M. Dare the ehars tbltle aod the prickly tbora, AM luabe tor lay ao; If t li a lurry world' then I Will pluck tba tbora, and whiatle though I cry. Tbou, voutb, tinea Ufa la all Is low. titoa too bej ao, and ba not tba aaat dowa ; "Til all m aar-au. And if on tbe a maid do- b nougat but (rows, Yat make thy lar o. Mnca life la (till Is luring. 1. When ajf love fro aa, will whiitle though I eifh. Kay, man, a kindly and a marry world I hay ao, vbn thou art near thine and; "1 i all in .ay-ao. hi armor f- od by to life a tby beat friend. And make thy lar ao: Pe.t life, if 1 nun leave tbea, I Will apeak tbea fair and whialla though I die. Century. THE GOLDROOM. The night mal from Paris panted Into Calais tier station only five minutes late. Tbe usual scrambling exodus of passengers eager to tfet a snack at tbe buffet before the si earner was due to start betran almost before the train bad stopped. My employment Is that of travel ing clerk to an express company, whose business It is to convey be tween 1 aris and London valuables Intrusted to it by clients. I was more than usually anxious that night, because it was marked Ijy the inauguration ot a new system. Hither the valuables bad been placed by one of us in tbe go'droom rented by our compauy on tbe steamers. The room had been carefully locked, J and the property had been left to take care of its If until it got to Itover, where it was met by another official of the company, who was pro vided with a duplicate key. Tbe captains of the boats were also in possession of keys in case it should be necessary for the safety of the ship to enter tbe goklroom. These precautions, however, had proved insui.cient. Although the locks of the goldrooui door were safety ones "of tbe most approved kind, impressions in wax had been obtained, false keys had been manu factured, and roliberl :s had been fre quent perpetrated, without doubt, during the passage across the channel by a gang or expert thieves. In consequence, an official was to accompany In future every consign ment and keep watch and ward at the gold room door. That night the consignment was of small bulk, but of extraordinary value. It consisted ot two tin boxes, one of which contained notes on the Bank of (ranee, sent to the Bank of England la payment for tbe purchase of 600,000 sovereigns; the box con tained negotiable bonds, with cou pons attached, of the new Turkish loan the property of the largest financial house in tbe world. The bonds were worth A'250,000, so my total charge amounted to 13,750, 000. Two of the company's porters had accompanied me from l'aris to assist in shipping the boxes. As I stood on tbe platform watching my men haul tbe boxes from the treasury van 1 was tapped on tbe shoulder by one of the French detectives whose duty it is to keep an eye on tbe boats. "You cross to-night under the new arrangement. Mr. Dutton, I think," he whispered. That is so," I replied. "Have you taken stock of my lellow pas sengers'" "Ye," he said; "and 1 have not spotted any suspicious characters so far. Ah! stand aside there, mon ami: make way for mad a me," and tbe detective pulled me gently back a step to allow a solemn procession to i ass along the platform to the gangway of the steamer, A couple of railway porters were carrying a sick woman, by whose side walked a tall maid. Two other porters followed, wheeling unmis taicably feminine luggage. The detective stepped quickly to the side of the truck and read the address painted In large white letters on one of tbe packages. "Mme la Comtes.se Bruno." he said as be rejoined me. "It Is not a title with which I am famll ar. Mon cher, It might be as well if you kept yourself acquainted with that lady's wbereab iuts on the boat." "What! Have you cause for sus picion?" I asked. "Not in the leat. 1 did not re cognize either tbe grand dame or ber maid. Only, when one comes across a title inknown to us of the French police it makes one auttous that Is all, my friend. Bon vogage " The detective moved away, and 1 followed my men on board the boat, each carrying one of the boxes. On the gangway 1 met tbe captain, to whom I was well known jolly old Capt Temple. "Hullo, my boy:" he said. "So you're going with us, That's good; you'll relieve me of a lot of responsi bility. 1 got my new key for your precious new lock from the agent to day, but I've hit on a better dodge than all the locks In the world. Just come along with me." Captalu Temple led the way be low. 1 followed with my men. Tbe goldroom was situated on the main deck in a little recess aft of tbe sa loon. It was about tea feet square and was approached by a passage Ave yards long running out of tbe saloon, In which, as we passed through, 1 noti ed tbe invalid lady and ber at tendant being ushered Into a state room by tbe stewardess. The stateroom was tbe nearest to the goldroom passagea fact which further Impressed upon me tbe bint given bv the detective The captain opened the door of tbe goldroom with hi key, and my men deposited the botes on tbe floor. Captain Temple waited nntll I bad disnlsesd tbea and then stooped down in another corner of tbe room and pailed at a sma 1 tag of wire s tbaa protraded through a bote. When be cot eswagh wire to make a fair sited loop, be carried over one of the loxes, put the loop of wire arouod it aod turned to me with a smile "There, Dutton," be said. "Now if any oue touches that box I shall know it up on the bridge as soon as you will iu tbe saloon there - sxiner if you don't happen to spot them go ing In." I complimented the skipper on his ingenuity, though 1 ma e the oiea tal reservation that on occasions when 1 happened to be on duly bis electric bell would never be used. I did not mean to lake my eye off that passage during tbe voyage. The captain put the other box on the top of tbe one to which the wire was attached, and after a last look round we locked the door, this time with my key, to make sure that tbe new lock answered satisfactorily to both of them. It was a Doe night, and the saloon was nearly empty, most of the pas sengers preferring the fresh air on deck, one respectal.le old gentle man, was Immersed In a book at tbe table that ran down the center of the saloon, but with this exception ail the occupants of tbe niace were ladies, and not many of thcui. In my immediate viclulty only one lady was sitting, and 1 paid very little attention to ber, all my thoughts being concentrated on tbe goldrojin door, with just a wink now j and then toward tbe invalid lady's cabin. But it soon came to me that the lady near me was in trouble of some kind. From my position I coula see ber without turniug rou. id, and 1 no ticed that she kept ber bead in ber bands and appeared to be shaking with suppressed sobbing. At length she raided ber face and looked at me. Her eyes were red with weening and the e were tears on ber cheeks. She was quite young and very pretty far too pretty to be traveling alone, I thought. There was a plead ng expression In ter eyes as she looked at me which half suggested that she re juired some service at my bands, tbougt I quite made up my mind not to grant It, whatever It might le, if It should take me from my post for one slrgle instant. Beauty in distress was a de coy not altogether unknown in tbu annals of crime, and at tbe risk of impoliteness, I would avoid all chance of becoming a victim. Hesitating and struggling with emot on, the girl opened her lij and essayed to speak. Tbe words seemed to come with difficulty and were al most Inaudible. "May 1 ask you to give me your at tention for a moment.'" she stam mered. "Believe me. It is on a mat ter of great Importance," "I am on duty here." I answered, and l ean not come over to von. You bad better come a little nearer." "It Is about your duty 1 wish to speak," whs ber astounding reply as she moved over and took a scat by my side. "You aie in charge of the goldroom, are you not?" "Yes," i said shortly, not know ing what to expect. She paused for a moment and then went on, speakb g hurriedly in a whisper. ' I wish to save my brother from the prepetration or a great crime," she said. "He is a dupe of a wicked man of lied Jem, tbe notori ous boat th.ef and his gang. There is a plot on loot to steal the valua bles from the goldroom to-night A thousand times better for my brother to suffer a punishment at tbe hands of the law for a first unsuccessful at tempt than u become a hardened criminal. Oh, sir, stop blm in time, and be as me cifui as your duty will permit." The young lady need have no ap prehens.on lest I should fail to stop tbe robbery, I said to myself. Then I asked aloud, "Where is your brother, then?" "In tbe goldroom at this moment," was tbe reply, which took my breath awav. "Impossible " I exclaimed. "I have not moved from tbls spot since tbe goldroom door was locked." "My brother slipped Into the pas sage way after we started, while you were looking at tbe cabin door. He was concealed under the saloon table. And you do not know Led -lem, sir. He has master kes that will fit any lock." 1 was puzzled sorely. I felt as sure as man could fee) that no one could have passed into tbe passage without my seeing blm. And, agiln, If there were some one in the gold room tampering with the boxes, how was it that the captain's boasted electric bell had not warned blm up on the bridge: However, my duty was obvious. I must unlock the door and see tor my self ifanytbing was wrong. 1 drew tbe key from my pocket and ar proacbed tbe door, followed by tbe weeping girl, who now began to show signs of repenting ber confidence In me. "He is only a lad, sir, only a lad. Sp ire blm If you can, and remember that I, bis sister, prevented the rob bery." I put tbe key In the lock and the heavy door swung back, opening in wara. There was no light In the place beyond what reached It from tbe saloon, and in the dim corner I could see tbe boxes Just as we left them. But there was no robber. I took a step forwaid to look be hind tbe door, In case perchance he was lurking there, and then In a moment I knew that 1 was done Lithe arms stole ar jund my neck and pressed a tllthy plaster of some substance over my mouth; several pairs of strong bands gripped me from behind and cast me to tbe floor. As 1 tell the door of the goldroom swung to, and all wa darkness. But only for a second. A silent match bla ed up, and a candle was lighted which i bone on strange eoss- pany Kneeling on my chest and b adog me with a vigor which ill accorded with ber assumed cahracter was tbe sicki countess," whom I bad seen carried ou board. Helping to hold me down ww the tall maid who who had walked by her side, wh le. cover ng me with the shining barrel of a revolver was the girl who had induced me to open the doors, a horrid grin on ber face in place of tears There yo i are, friend Dutton." said the "countess," who was no other than Ked Jem b mself. "I think you will do cow, for tbe few minutes we jhall require you. What a pity it is that your people have been so smart You see that nice new lock compelled us to get you to be so olilmlnif as to open tbe door for us. Look alive with tbe pigments, 1(111, and get on with your makeup " 1 was half da ed with tbe sudden ness of tbe attack, but my senses were rapidly clearing, and I was be ginning to appreciate tbe value of Ca t. Temple's electric bell. What ever happened to me, 1 thought, the loxes wuuid be all ritibt tbe alarm would ring directly tbey were touched. 1 was soon to be undeceived. I was held against tbe wall by the powerful hands of Ked Jem, looking i-trangely fantastic in his fem niue dress. The "tall maid" who bad been ad dressed as lull rapidly divested her self of her top clothing. Then my clothes were taken from me, and Bill put them on, standing revealed at last in his proper character of a neat ly built young man of about my own height. As soon as he was dressed in my clothes he took up an actor's paint box and proceeded to make sundry alterations in bis face. Bit by bit tbe likeness grew, till In front of me stood a counterpart of myself a eounterpa t that my mother might have mistaken for ihe original "Now, Mr. Dutton," said Bed .lem, "you see our little game per haps. My friend Bill will relieve you of your duties an i will see the bonds sa ely ashore, Katie will take lilli's place as a much more appropriate maid and will escort me tbe sick Comptesse de Jfrune bark to her cabin while the coast is clear. Neat, isn't it?" "Yes," I said, "but what are you going to do with me'"' Ah, my dear friend," he replied, with a horrible grin on his painted face, "that is the sad part of IL You have got to die, Dutton. I'm sorry, but sl.oou.oou is worth a man's life. "Bill, where' that knife? No body would be likely to bear the pistol down h'-re, but It's best to l sure." My couuterfeit drew a glistening dagger from the clothes he had re moved and gave it to lied Jem. There was but one chanre for me. and that was to r ng tbe electric bell To shout would be to incur certain death, and tbe odds were that in that out of tbe way place, amid the rush or water and the noise of tbe addles, no one would bear my cry. But how to get free in time: "I suppose you will give me two minutes to make my peace?" 1 said. "Oh, ye-, If you think it wor b while to prolong the agony," said tbe chief. "Only be quick about it" "It may seem odd to you, but I have scruples about these matters," I said. "Would you o!ect to loosing this strap round my legs so that I can kneel? You see that it Is Im possible to escape with the door locked and three of you here." "I'm the best natured fellow In the world" replied tbe bloodthirsty scoundrel, and he stooped and un buckled the strap. "There, get lo your pravers and don't be long about IL You can use your precious bond boxes as a desK, if you like." In those last words be sealed his own fate and that of his companions. Outwa dly aim, but in reality trembling with excitement, I as sumed a devotional attitude In the corner ot the goldroom, resting my elbows on tbe top of tho uppermost box. With my knees 1 gently pushed tbe lower one so as to bring a strain on the wi e. Once, twice, thrice, I p esscd it and then knelt down in prayer which It Is very certain was not at all make believe. Bed Jem and his companions were whispering by the door, and from the scraps of conversation that reached me I lea ned that my body was to be thrown overboard. "Now, young man, time's up," said the principal vlllian at length, advancing to where I knelt, but as be did so I Knew that 1 was saved. There was a burr ed rush of many feet outside, the door was thrown open and Captain Temple, pistol in band, and followed by a half a dozen men, burst in. For a moment be was puzzled at the likeness between me and tbe rob ber known as Bill, but be soon grasped the sltuatioa lied Jem and his gang will not trouble tbe Dover uiall boats lor many a day, and I have since bea d that bis wife tbe Katie who so cleverly Imposed upon me lo tbe saloon, and aitcrward held a pis tol to my head died in prison. After all, it was tbe captain's In vention, and not my care of the gold room key, which saved the company's property, and, what is not of so much luifiortance, thedlfeof one of Its serv ants, Waverly Magazine. Wholly Charitable. This amateur rformance you speak of was it a charitable affair?" "Oh, yes, the people knew the young folks were doing as well as they (ould." Boston Transcript Some people are always going tc school entertainment and then complaining because they didn't have a good time. Twlrgraphra' Mistake). The funny mistakes of telegraphers are as numerous as those charged up to p oof readers, two on the former have junt come In. A gentleman who has been an eitens ve traveler, aod conse'iiientiy uot suoj4ed to overbjok any details, saw his wife off on a tra n for the slope the other day. U was supiosed that everything had tieen arranged. The good -by aod its accouiuaniuieot had been pissed and the gentleman returned to his home, that night his w.fe suddenly remem bered that she had left a valuable adjunct to her happiness, and wrote a message to her husband which he received tbe following ruoruiug at bis o 1 ce. It read "Forgot Think conductor has teleuraphed for it." lie read it again, and again it read as at first? Forgot what'.' he murmured. And he read it again, and kept reading it until tbe words run together and bis temples throbbed. He sent a message to bis house asking the servants f .Mrs. had left anything. They made n3 discoveries, of course. Then he sent a message to the operator at the oWce from wh ch his w.ie's message wis sent asking bim to rej eat IL He waited for an answer. He lost bis luncheon and bis dinner waiting. He remained at his office until late at night, and as he was about to leave In desnair he received an answer to his. Itread: "Forgot trunk. Con ductor has telegraphed for It" r-ure enough. The word ' trunk" had been made to read think. But wasn't it strange that a man who had traveled all over the world should come to his own home to forget to check his wife's trunk? He laughed to himself, af ler it was all over. But It had cost hlin lots of worry. Equally fuuny is this one: A lady had leceivtd a letter from her oia borne In Concecticut which caused ber a good deal of trouble. Her answer to it was by wire. W ben it was delivered in the Connectlcat bouic it read: "How's t,he weather?-' What a i exasperating query at such a tune The letter referred to the lady's mother's health. The dispatch should have read, "How's mother?" A little different is this one: A gentleman sent bis wife a message from Washington, March 4, into, prepaid, and it has not been de livered up to the present writing. The correspondence between the Chlcaco o 1 ce and the Washington and New i ork o;t ces about the transaction has accumulated until the batch looks like the papers in a long continued law suit Chicago l'ost. Uot the C'ommlaalon, Too, He Is a sharp business man who can get the better of Mrs. Hetty Green, the wealthy financier. When the business depression was weighing most heavily upon the count, y a ri h New Yorker who wished a large sum of ready money wished to place a mortgaue on one of the most valu able pieces cf real estate in New York City. His brokers set forth to negotiate the loan, but ca-h was ex tremely scarce, even when the finest security was offered for it- Among others whom the brokers saw in re gard to the loan was a certain banker who knows Mrs. Green. He was un able to make tbe loan, and could think of no oue who could. Meeting Mrs. Green the next day, however, he said to ber: "Oh, why didn't I 'thing of you yesterday? Mr. '. 's brokers were in to see me to borrow a million." "On what?" asked Mrs, Green; and the banger explained the secu rity, the terms, etc "You can go and see the brokers now," bo said. "Y'ou will be wel come. A million Isn't easy to ra so in these days, and there Is a pretty commission In It for them if they can net the money from you. They'll be glad to sec you." But they did not see Mrs. Greea She had no intention of letting that commission go astray. She saw Mr. herself, gave him the loan at her rate of interest, and took the commission also for getting the loan. A Clever llluaion. An Ingenio is Frenchmau has ar ranged a clever optical Illusion, which, while it is intended to be used for pecuniary profit, and not for scientific advancement. Is a most convincing proof of the visible e.lect of imaglnat on on tbu physical func tions of the body. In a tall, one storied building Is arrangrd a wooden swing, similar to those i scd on picnic gro nds. The Interior walls of the bu Iding are ap parently painted to represent a wooe land s ene. . l'ersons are Invited 1 1 take a ride, and when one or two get into the wooden box seat they are strapped in securely by an attend ant, and warned to "hold on tight." Then they go, slow at first, b t in a minute or two so last at:d so high that they are In Imminent danger of turning completely over. A man In tbe swing usually turns pale and grips harder. A woman screams, and when tbe machine slows d wn she gets out reeling very faint. This disappears when the attendant shows her that tbe swing Is stationary and han; moved and Inch. The pa nted walls are not walls at all, but can vas, so adji stcd. as to move and give the people in the swing tbe impr a Ion that they arc human pendulums going at a reckless rate. The Im press on In the mind Is precisely the same as though the swinging actually took place. New York Mall and Ex press V .'man nature never, changes, If a man promises to do better than men have done In tbe past, do not be! eve blm. Why are boots and shoes like door mats? Because tbey are worn by the feet