The alliance. (Lincoln, Nebraska) 1889-1889, October 12, 1889, Image 3

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    3
- KENTUCKY COLONELS.
How It Happens that They Are So
Numerous In the . Blue-Grass
, State.
It Is somewhat hard for an outside
barbarian to understand why "Col
onels' are so plentiful in Kentucky.
In the first place Kentucky furnished
a great many soldiers, both, to the
Northern and to the Southern armies,
during the war, and naturally 60rae of
these soldiers are sure-enough colonels
by rank and service. Others who were
minor officers, or perhaps , high pri
vates, are now dubbed colonels by way
of courtesy. Then we have a very few
colonels who hold over from the Mexi
can war, and there are other colonels
of militia, like the Louisville Legion,
who come by their titles honestly.
The Governor, of Kentucky has the
privilege of appointing persons on his
staff with the rank of colonel. These
oolouels are expected to look pretty
and martial at the Governor's ball and
to ride horseback when the Governor
heads a procession. The last duty fre
quently gives them great pain and
anxiety. There are scores and scores
of these Governor-staff colonels in this
proud old commonwealth.
Some executives have been more
lavish than others in the distribution
of these gilded honors. That kindly
old gentleman. Gov. Luke Blackburn,
M. D., was fond of creating colonels.
During his term he made some sixty
colonels in the city of Louisville alone,
if I remember the figures correctly.
There are various reasons which en
title a man to this gubernatorial com
pliment. Col. Will Hays is a colonel
because he is such a gifted poet, while
Col. Albert Dietzman was given his
title by Gov. Knott because he was the
greatest business manager on earth.
I trust the acts,. will make, it some-r
what clearer to the wondering North
erner why colonels are so plentiful in
Kentucky. But there are other reasons.
Many prominent citizens are honored
with this complimentary title simply
as a recognition of their merit by the
community. Thus every man who
conducts a large distillery is ipse facto
a colonel; for instance, Col. John M.
Atherton, or Col. Tom Sherley. Every
prominent railroad officer is also a col
onel; for instance, .Col. Milton H.
Smith. Every congressman is a col
onel, as Col. Asher G. Caruth. Every
man with a government office is a col
onel; as Col. George Du llelle. Every
great editor is a colonel, like Col. Hen
ry Watterson. The chief of the police
department is a de facto colonel, as
Col. Wood. Then there other gentle
men who are colonels because no other
title fits them. But the law on the
subject is a little vague and has never
been formulated by the legislature.
If a man has been a captain in the
war, never call him captain; call him
colonel. He is entitled to this promo
tion twenty-four years after the war
closed. The only men proud to be
called captain are the commanders of
steamboats, the captains of fire com
panies, the conductors of railroad
trains and the officers in a Salvation
army. The title of mrfior is compara
tively rare, and, therefore, is really
more of a distinction than colonel
Only prominent people who have seen
actual service wear the title; for ins
tarice. Major Ed Hughes and Major J.
w sisningron wana. uut still 11 you
call a major a colonel he is not likely
to jret mad at you. By the observance
of these few rules I have jotted down.
.the stranger can get along in Kentucky
TtfithmiT. cnmmiUiniT anvsnrimis hrpacm
of etiquette. Louisville Post.
-
IN TWENTY-EIGHT BATTLES
And Can Freely Say That He Nev
er Cot "Used to It."
'Joionel James iu. inamp3on gave
his opinion as follows: "The quality
of courage in battle I regard as beingr
to a large extent a physical attribute.
I have he irda good deal of talk about
the nonchalance of men in action and
their eas3 and composure after the first
gun was' firod, but I never took much
stjOck in it I went through the war in
the army, and it was-my, fortune to be
in a portion of the service in Virginia,
where there was a good deal of hard
tigritinpr to do. and there wasn't any
creditable way to get out of it, eithei
I saw service in twenty -eight battles
and. I can freely say that I for one
never g-ot 'used to it. I never went
into a light without an all prevading
sense of d inger and was always glad
when it was over. Of course moral
courage, hijrh patriotism and the mili
tary spirit kept the great majority of
men right up to the mark, but there
were notable instances of men whos
physical natures simply .failed to re
spond when called on. They could
not possibly go into a fight. A clear
head and a full conception of the enor
mous consequences of cowardice to
themselves failed to spur them to the
staying point, and on the first whiz of
a bullet their signals of distress were
visible to all in sight. A well known
Tew York colonel, a perfect gentleman,
a scholar, a patriot, and a really noble
fellow, wa3 so weak in point of cour
age and his humiliation so great at
really being afraid to face danger that
he was forced to retire from the army,
went to Washington, pined away and
died in a few weeks. ; I knew another
prominent officer whose friends, out of
1 consideration for his well known fail
ing, used to manage, oa one pretext or
another, to keep him out of engage
ments and thus shield him from expos
ure. Men like that are to be pitied,
not blamed. They want to fight, but
their bodies actually refuse to obey
their will." St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Salt For Moths.
For moths salt is the best extermin
ator. The nuns in one of the hospital
convents have tried everything else
without success, and their experience
is valuable, as they have so much
clothing of the sick who go there; and
strangers, when dying there, often
leave quantities of clothing, etc. They
had a room, full of feathers, which
were sent there for pillow makinsv and
they were in despair, as they could not
exterminate the moths until they were
advised to try common salt. They
sprinkled it around, and in a week or
ten days they were altogether rid of
the moths. They are never troubled
now. In heavy velvet carpets sweep
ing them with salt cleans and keeps
them from moths, as particles of salt
remain in the carpets and corners.
Salt is not hurtful to anyone, and has
no bad smell. Here is a little hint I
add, which, perhaps, everyone does
not know: For cleaning wash basins,
bath, etc., use the same thing, common
dry salt. Rub a little of the salt with
your fingers on the basin. Often a sort
of scum is noticed in the basins in a
marble washstand in the' h room; the
salt takes it off easily ar 1 leaves the
basin shinning and clean. Phila
ueipnia Tress.
SUB ROSA.
Coder the roso Is a thorn, we know,
Ani ever in life we find it so, . .
Under the sweetest flowers that Mow,
Hides the thorn that hurts us so.
tinder the row. but the rose is sweet;
Fairest of nil the flowers we meet,
Aid never in life will it seem less sweet, .
For the thorn that pierces unwary feet.
. tinder the rose that we pi nek in joy,
, Is the sharpest thorn its one alloy,
So pain and pleasure, jrrief and joy,
If it were not bo would sweetness cloy?
Under the rose that we pick today,
, The rose that the months are speeding
awny, : r , j
The thorn lien hidden safely away. .
Will we find that thorn some other day?
Emma S. ThooM.
A PAIR 0FJ3RACELETS.
New York Epoch.
Mrs; Horshaw Was unusually fond
of her diamonds. Why not? She
had not worn them long enough for
usage to rob possession of its first
sweet flavor. The power, pleasure
and insipidity of her new life were, so
to speak, in the swaddling clothes oi
novelty us yet. In fact, about the
only relic of old times left to Mrs.
Horshaw was Mr. Horshaw, and he
did not count for much in society's
opinion, except as husband oi
Mrs. Horshaw.
Scarcely a year since the new lead
in the "Little Jule silver mine had
developed its Alad Jin-like qualities,
Scarcely a year since the modest
cabin iri Red Wood Gulch had been
exchanged for the brown-stone sar
cophagus on Prairie Avenue, whence
Mrs. Horshaw,, after a few brie!
preliminary flutters, had burst upon
society like a golden butterfly, a
little C7udo and glaring perhaps, yet
genuine, very genuine. "Little Jule"
wa? disgorging a five thousand in
siit-w bullion per week. The mine
h i been named after Mrs. Horshaw
I her husband.
Late in the morning after the
Pronhet's ball, Mrs. Horshaw was
surveying the contents of her jewelry-
ens in the nrivacv of her boudoir.
There was a ring at the front door
and a house maid announced: "A
man from Jacard's Mum."
"Jacard's" was the well known jew
elry, house. - Mrs. Horshaw was
handling a diamond bracelet with
tender solicitude. She glanced at
her rose colored morning gown, felt
her lace cap, and was conscious of a
state of chaste and direct deshabille
that might be exhibited with effect
before a mere clerk or messenger.
"What can he want?" she said
wonderingly. "However "" send him
up."
Presently a gentlemanly young
man entered, his hat in one hand
and a small portmanteau in the oth
er. .. ... ... .
"Pardon," lie said, "but Mr. Hor
shaw left word that you might want
to make a selection, and as we had
only a few, of this style left we at
his suggestion concluded to submit
them to you for inspection at once."
He had opened his satchel and
token out several sets of pearl jewel
ry of a rather unique design. Mrs.
Horshaw seemed astonished.
"But I do not care for pearls' she
said. "I cannot see why my hus
band should have left such direc
tions. At Jacard's they certainly
know my preference for diamonds."
"Perhaps there is some mistake,"
said he, with a Chesterfieldian bow.
"It is no matt?r. And yet these
pearls are really quite the a go, I
assure you.
"0, they will do-for pearls, I sup-
.. r
pOSe.
Mrs. Horshaw fingered them care-
lessly, then looked fondly at her real-
ly find diamonds. The man adjusted
an eyoglass and examined them
critically.
"I can easily see," he said gallant-
care lor
pearls. These are indeed perfection.
But, if I mistake not, these bracelets
now to be sure! That reminds me.
Your husband desired us to match
them with some earrings we have in
stock."
"Yes I do need another syle of
earring. But it was very , good of
Mr. Horshaw to think of that him
self." Mrs. Horshaw looked at the man
dubiously, whereupon, with another
bow, he presented one of Messrs. Jac
card's business cards.
"I er suppose you wish to take
one of these bracelets back?"
"With Madam's permission, yes.
For comparison, you know. As it will
take but a short while to match
them, I will leave a set of the pearls
until my return. Not necessary, of
course," this with a fine renunciatory
gesture, "yet there is no harm, and
giving security is always more busi-
nes-hke.
Such rrrandilonuent deir.PA.Tinr wns
quite overpowering to Mrs. Hors
13 i ... .
haw's still virgin conceptions of east
ern polite requirements. She declin
ed to receive the pearls, but he, hav
ing pockected the bracelet, would not
hear of it and departed with a final
bow and flourish, leaving her with a
Pi..,. i.
titillating sense of satisfaction, as of
one belore whom the erreat of the
earth have unbent themselves.
Two hours later, Mr. Horshaw,
coming home to lunch, was thanked
by his wile for "being so unusually
thoughtful."
"Why, I haven't been , near Jac
ard's," said he, when he caught the
drift of her remark.
Mrs. Horshaw felta fringe of alarm;
then she remembered the pearls.
"It is all right I cruess. The man
is to be back directlv; besides he left ley's name is an ampleguarantee."
a lovely set of pearls as security. Mr- Grumley bowed his thanks, de
Thought I'd be more apt, to buy posited the bracelet in a capricious
them, I suppose." wallet and rose to go.
"Left pearls, eh!" "Come round to headquarters in
Mr. Horshaw. tiiouo-h insio-nificanfc the morning, sir, he said. "I have
as an adjunct of fashion, Had certain
business instincts, and this procedure
struck him as unusual, if not queer.
"Well we'll see when he comes back."
But he did not come back. They
waited until four o'clock, then Mr.
Horshaw. taking the pearls along
went to Jacard's with many misgiv
ings. One of the salesmen looked at
the set and then shook his head.
"The poorest grade of imitation.
Hope you did not think them genu
ine." '".-'- .;
Mr. Horshaw gave his wife's ver
sion of the whole affair.
"Evidentlva case of gross swin
dling," said'the salesman. "We have
no such ' man in our employ, and
goods like these," he eyed them con
temptuously, "we never handle on
any pretense."
There seemed nothing ffff it but to
inform the police, which Mr. Horshaw
did forthwith. Then he went home
and lectured his wife who, aside from
grief over her loss, felt quite humili
ated at haying given her husband
such good grounds for asserting him
self, a privilege he seldom acquired
in bis present position as an append
age of a woman of fashion.
"Women are too easily imposed
upon," he said. "Now what man,
i d nice to Know, would, nave en
trusted such a bracelet to a rank
stranger, unintroduced at that?"
Mrs. Horshaw faintly reminded him
ot the pearls.
"Paste, yoii mean," Hr. Horshaw
ccolly lit a cigar in his wife's boudoir,
a thing he never had the temerity to
do before. "Very inferior imitations.
too. What do you suppose would
become of you without a husband to
keep you straight
Is a man ever more odious, she
thought to herself, than when so
shabby a small triumph inflates him?
She sought consolation by shroud-
ins: herself in a cloak of icy indiner
ence. Yet the loss of the bracelet
pricked her sorely.
On the following morning Mr. Hor
shaw was in the library writing let
ters, when a servant handed him this
"J. GRUMLEY,
"Detective,
."Police Headquarters."
"The great Detective Grumleyl
Wants to see me, does he? Well, show
him up. Ha, Mrs. Horshaw!" he
soliloquised, "you've lost your brace-
c i au
Then a
tall, grim
looking man,
rather stvlishly dressed in plain
black, with an air something between
a clergyman and a hotel clerk, entered
the room. He looked at the wall, at
the books, at the window, and final
ly at Mr. Horshaw.
"Mr. Horshaw, I believe," he said
briskly. "My card informs you who
lam. Your wife has lost a diamond
bracelet. 1 am detailed to work up
the case."
Mr. Horshaw offered him a chair.
Mr. Grumley seated himself, casting
a keen glance under t he library table,
as if, perchanee, the thief might have
got entangled between the legs some
how. "I suppose I can see the lady," con
tinued he. "Must have full descrip
tion of property and details of loss,
you "know."
"Mrs. Horshaw is out. She says
the man has a slight cast in one of
his eyes."
"Cast m one eye. Good!" Mr.
Grumley checked that point off on
one finger.
"And a I think she said his mus
tache was waxed
"Mustache waxed good!" Mr.
Grumley checked off finger number
two.
"Let me see. I think he drawls his
words had also a slight lisp, and
then his nose his nose, now -"
"Drawled lisped good!
Mr.
Grumley exhausted his two remain
ing fingers with c check apiece and
then slapped his thigh. "I think I
know the fellow, sir well known
crook, too. Now for tho property.
Must know what the bracelet looked
like, you see."
"Ah yes to be sure."
Mr. Horshaw cojritnted and Detec-
tive Grumley, producing a formidable
note dook, jotte, a iew points.
, , "Now-you'd hardly think it, yet
In mi era I've seen those nraceiets n
I t.imps T rnn hnrHlvrlpsnrirui
them, except that they are all spagle
and glitter. If my wife were only
here now."
x uave it, ir, buiu me ueiecuve,
"there s a mate to that lost bracelet.
mcoma tacea squinu au in now
"Certainly." Mr. Horshaw rose
with a smile. "It takes a detective to
thi nk of ways and means. By look
ing at one you can spot that's the
word, isn't it? Yes you can spot the
other."
Mr. Grumley leaned back with a
Napoleon like nod of approval, while
Mr. Horshaw bnrsted up stairs, mut
tering to himself: ''Sharp man that.
Lucky I was at home to help him
out." He rummoged.about his wife's
bureau and dressing case until he
found the object of his search. "Now,
Julia," he thought, as he returned to
the library, "we'll see who recovers
your bracelet."
"Avery peculiar make," said the
well known detective, handling the
article very much as if it were a
handcuff. "Very fine, too. Gad sir!
I wonder the lady let the fellow walk
off with it, but aheni! women are
rather "
"Gad. yes! They are weak and
easily imposed upon. But we men
I r 1- ". i.!. .J. T C
can t help that. If we get them out
of these scrapes, that's all we can
do."
. "Precisely. But this bracelet,now
the pattern is quite complex. Diffi
cult to remember all the points un
less " The detective, scrutinizing
j closely, shook his head discourag
"'.y-
"I see," said Mr. Horshaw, "the
police will need this one to as I
might say detect and verify the oth
er.
Mr. Grumley 's
brow cleared in-
stantly.
"Itwifl facilitate matters," he said.
"Makes the recovery almost certain,
in fact. Shall I give you a receipt
in behalf of the a the a force?"
"Not necessary. Detective Grum-
little doubt but you will then be
hold, not only the theit. but the
plunder, too. By the way." He ap
peared to ieflect severely. "These
movements are sometimes necessari
ly costly. In short, we may have fco
use some money not for ourselves,
understand" this with a grim re
nunciatory air "but to inveigle the
rascals into a trap of oar own setting;
see?" :
Mr. Horshaw saw, or thought he
saw, which amounted to the ... same
thing pecuniarily. The pleasure of
triumphing over Mrs. Horshaw must
not be delayed for a few paltry dollars"--'
' '" ' "
"How much?"
"Two tens will do I think."
Detective Grumley stored away
two of Mr. Horshaw's bank notes,
much as it they were waste paper,
then took his leave with n mighty
show of official ceremony, after whieh
Mr. Horshaw rubbed his hands and
smiled shrewdly to himself.
When Mrs. Horshaw returned, her
husband rose to the heighth of the
occasion and his own dignity, there
by impressing her with such a sense
of her own wifely weaknesses as she
had not felt since the primitive davs
of Red Wood Gulch.'
- "You may regard yourself as a
shining ' light, my dear," said he,
"yet how egregiously you were im
posed upon. Grumley intimated that
such verdancy was accountable only
because you are a woman. He's the
most noted detective we have. His
name alone will give a kind of eclat
to your a silly lapse of discretion.
"And you let him have the other
bracelet?"
"Of course. I likewise have his
word that the stolen one is quite as
good a! recovered.
"I hope so," said the lady weakly,
yet dubiously.
Hope so!" Mr. Horshaw surveyed
his wife with a Websterian air. The
sensation of having her at his mercy
was so new and pleasing quite ir
resistible, in fact. Well, 1 should
smile. Wait till we go to headquar
ters in the morning. Keep up your
hopes till then, my dear.
"Well I I'll try." This meekly
and without the least enthusiasm.
Promptly at 10 a. m. Mr. and Mrs.
Horshaw presented themselves at the
inspector's office and inquired for
Detective u rum ley.
"The diamond bracelet affair, you
know," the gentleman said, explan
atorily. "I didn't know Mr. Grumley had
charge of it; but he just happens to be
about. Ana the blue-uniformed
police clerk turned to a dry, quick
movinsr, wooden-faced man who had
just come into the office. "Here you
are, John. Some one to see you."
Mr. Uorshaw leit something gripe
his heart and impart a tingling sen
sation alona: his spine. There must
be some mistake here.
"I mean Detective Grumley of the
secret
"Yes, yes," said the man sharply
at the couple as he laid some papers
on the desk. "I'm Detective Grum
ley. What can I do for you?"
"V hy you he ris not this your
card?"
"Don't use cards. What the deuce
do I want of cards!"
He began to sharpen " a pencil vig
orously. . ' .
"And you are Grumley?" Mr,
Horshaw stared at him, as if ho
might have been the sphinx, or a
museum freak, or an ichthyosaurus
come back to life.
"I am Grumley, sir."
"Julia," Mr. Horshaw turned to
his wife, upon whose face an "I told
you so" expression was mingled with
one of renewed dismay, "this this
isn't my man at all. 1 I fear we
have been humbugged again."
"We!" said' his wife cuttingly, de
spite the conviction ofa second swin
dle now forced upon her. "Wo! 1
don't know anything about Detective
Grumlev, but I do know that some
men are very weak and credulous
creatures so easily imposed upon!"
Mr. Horshaw sank dejectedly into
a chair, while Mrs. Horshaw proceed
ed to explain.
"I fear it is a gone case," said the
real Grumley, when he had heard all
"Now they've got em both they'll
melt the gold and spout the dia
monds seperately. But, good gra
cious, are you not aware, sir, that
in large cities every stranger who
makes up to you is presumably a
rascal until he proves the contrary?"
"Julia," said Mr. Horshaw when
they were baek in their carriage, "as
a woman of fashion you. may be a
success: as a man of business I am so;
but at present 1 leel as green as a
sucking babe. Let's pool our issues
compromise, and snub each other no
more."
For answer Julia kissed her hus
band for the first time in six months.
Then both were silent for awhile.
' 'They were such lovely diamonds,"
she couid not help saying at last.
"You shall have a finer pair," he
said. ".Little Jule has touched 280.
Thieves can't carry the mine off, my
dear."
"Mrs. Horshaw contemplated her
unbraceleted wrists for a moment and
then rewarded her husband with an
other kiss.
His Blasphemous Prayer Fulfilled.
From the St. Louis jiobe-Democrat.
Several days ego Patrick Gallagher
felt in his inside pocket for his pipe.
It was not there, and its absence
caused him to make a terrible wish.'
His wife reproved him.
"Well, I don't care," he said: "here,
with uplifted hand to Heaven I pray
that my Creator Trill paralyze the
man who has my pipe."
Before the utterance had died away
Gallagher felt a severe twitching of
the heart and complained of feeling
unwell. A doctor was hastily dis
patched for, and said that he received
a stroke of paralysis. As Gallagher
was in straitened circumstances it
was deemed best to remove him for
treatment to the Home of the Aged
Poor, where death ensued in less
than twelve hours.
The grief-stricken family were at a.
loss to understand his sudden death.
In looking recently through his
clothes, removed at the time of the
paralytic stroke, they were filled with
superstitious horror, for . in one of
his outside poekets was found the
missing pipe, which had worked its
way into the lining.
WINCED MISSILES
Rom Elizabeth Cleveland now publishes
her own novels.
Senator Ingails Is said to be engaged on a
novel of Washington life.
Marion Crawford, the novelist, says he
can walk forty miles at a stretch.
Christian science is said to hare gone
quite out of fashion in Philadelphia.
Jay Gould has an orchid in his conserva
tory at Irvington that is valued at 95,00
Thirty million books in the British
museum and the cry is, "Still they come."
The Grand Duke Constantino, cusino to
the czar, has recently published a book of
poems.
A man can attract more attention asleep
than awake, if he will only sit down in a
public place.
This country is afflicted with what a col
ored brother would call a "surplus of poor
white trash.'? y v. .
Mr. Selah Chamberlain, of Cleveland,
gave his beautiful niece $10,003 as a wed
ding present. ;.
An English lady has left $50,000 to be de-
devoted to the photographing of stars,
planets and nebulae. . ,
Too many of us want to reap the reward
of success before we have earned the title
to a fair beginning.
M. Barbediene, the famous bronze found
er of Paris, exhibits at the Exposition a
clock that is valued at $70,0J0.
Gen. M. C. Meigs says that we shall be
found by the census of 1890 to have 67,240,-
000 people in the United States. '
The Emperor of Japan has just taken pos
session of a new palace, furnished in Euro
pean style. It cost him $4,000,000. ; 1
Frightened mouse color" is the latest
fashionable shade. It is probably a little
paler than the ordinary mouse color.
While women are generally more intense
ly partisan thaa men, they are less apt to
be influenced to it by selfish motives.
Lady Mandeville threatens to go on the
stage unless her father-in-law, the Duke of
Manchester, pays her husband's debts.
Some one who knows what he is talking
about says that his idea of success in life is
to be an American artist and live in London.
Mr. Edwards, United States Consul at
Berlin, is a queer fellow. He is actually
charged by the Germans with being too
olosely devoted to his duties.
Compressed air is being used as a motive
power in some of the cities of France. V
has started a new industry in the manu
facture of plant for the purpose.
Queen Victoria's recant visit to Wales
brings out the statistics that during her
reism of over half a century twelve days
ODly have been spent in Ireland.
An interesting discovery is stated to have
been made in India. This is nothing less
than the lost books of isuclid, oi which a
Sanskrit translation is said to have been
found at Jeppore. .
The Alpine cow-bell has become the rage
among visitors to Switzerland this year
and enterprisincr dealers have flooded the
bazars with miniature cow-bells in gold,
silver and enamel.
Max Strakosch, who brought some of the
most brilliant singers to this country that
ever left the other side of the Atlantic, is
in the Home for Incurables at Fordham,
Y., a paralytic. V
An American system of police alarm
boxes has been put up in London. A small
district has been served with it as an ex
periment, which.if successful, will probably
be repeated all over the great city.
It has been estimated by men of science
who have investigated the subject that the
rock of Niagara is being worn away by the
waters at such a rate that in a few thou
sand years the cataract will work up to
Lake Erie.
Mrs. E.D. E. N. Southworth, whose blood
curdling novels thrilled our grandmothers,
is still living in undiminished vigor at
Yonkers, N. Y and is now writing a novel
which, it is said, Will surpass all her previ
us works.
Charles Henry Butler, who died recently
In a camp near Nahma, Delta Co., Mich.,
was the owner of Henry Ward Beecher'
place at Peekskill, known as "BoscobeL"
He paid $83,000 for it, but had only, lived
there since May.
Richard Watson Gilder, the editor of the
Century, is a dark, poetical, melancholy
looking man. Why he should be melan
choly with an income of $40,003 from his
magazine it is hard to understand, unless,
like Byron, he thinks it poetical.
An enterprising firm has offered the
British Government $1&,0D0 a year for the
privilege of placing a soap and pill adver
tisement on the postage stamps, the adver
tisement to be put on at the time the can
celing is done and by the same machine.
Col. Dan Lamont is said to have accept
ed the presidency of the Tennessee Coal,
Iron and Railway Company at a salary of
$10,000 a year. Col. Lamont and ex-Senator
Piatt, of New York, control about $1,
000,000 of the company's stock and direct
its affairs.
Berezovdki, the Pole who tried to avenge
his country's wrongs by shooting at the
Czar Alexander IL during that monarch'a
visit to the Paris exhibition of 1867, is now
a white-haired old convict in the French
penal settlement of New Caledonia, off the
coast of Australia.
The queen's inevitable bridal gift of an
Indian shawl is explained by the state
ment that one of her tributaries, an Indian
prince, is bound by treaty to pay her an an
nual subsidy in which are included three
pairs of the best cashmere shawls and
twelve perfect shawl goats.
There are only two royal scientists living
at the present time worthy of the name.
One is Prince Albert, of Monaco, well
known for his deep sea researches, and the
other is the Archduke Ludwte Salvator, of
Austria, a courageous traveler, and a by no
means contemptible naturalist.
Sol Smith Russell's wife is a small, intellectual-looking
woman with a Bostonese
face. She is the daughter of Mr. Adams,
known to fame as "Oliver Optic" Mr.
Russell is the owner of several fine build
ings in Minneapolis besides his handsome
residences. He takes care of his money.
Capt. L. G. Shephard, commander of the
revenue cutter Rush, the seizer of the
Behring Soa, has been in the Revenue
Marine Service since 1S66, and has served
through all thi grades from third lieutenant
tocxptain. He is a native of Massachussetts
and is regarded as a cool and brave officer.
Emily Paxton, of Pike county, Mo., has
permission from the governor of that state
to wear a man's dress "anywhere in Mis
souri outsicte of cities of 10,030 inhabitants."
She works on a farm and her favorite oc
cupation is breaking horses to harness. Of
these she herself owns three and has
charge of thirteen.
One of the cannon used by the American
colonists in 1763 in defending their settle
ments from the attacks of the Indian chief
Pontiac, is imbedded in the foundation
walls of the residence of J. Samuel Krause,
of Bethlehem, Pa., where it was placed by
the officers of the Moravian Church, to pre
vent young America from firing it off on
liberty days. , v
An enormous tarantula invaded a New
Yerk police station house a few days ago
and routed all the officers. It was finally
killed with a club and when measured was
found to be nine inches in circumference.
It is supposed that the tarantula got in by
means ox some banana wagons which wero
housed in the station house yard alter a
raid on some fruit peddlers a few days
previously, ,
Hark, the sound of many voices,
Jubilant in gtdwt son?.
And full many a heart rejoices
As the chorus floats Along:
"Hail the Favorite Pre-.cn ptifn.M
IIow the hnppy voice Mend.
"Wonderful beyond description
Woman's best and truect friend."
T7I1 may it be called woman's heat
friend, since it does for her what no other
remedy has been able to do. It cures all
tnose delicate aeranxmeuts nwi weak-
isses peculiar to females. Cures them.
understand. Other preparations may af
ford temporary relief, but Dr. Pierce' Fa
vorite Prescription effect a permanent
cure It Is guaranteed to do' this, or the
moner naid for it will be Drnmntlr refund
ed. It Is the great remedy of the age. s.
The worst Nasal Catarrh, no matter of
how long standing, is permanently, cured
by Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. .
How Cltroni Iron I ltlnde.
A Norwegian engineer. Herr O. Olson,
of Christiana, has obtained n ten year'
patent, for a new process for I he lnnnu-
focture of chrome iron.- In Ins iroceM
a well mixed proportion of finely pul
verized chrome ore; potrdered rhurcoal
and tar are heated to red heat in a clos
ed vessel, then allowed to cool, and
finally remelted in a crucible; together
with a certain proportion of pulverized
iron ore, powdered charcoal, lorax,
ground glass and cyauide of iotnssium.
The proportions of the mixture are nat
urally kept a secret. rsew York Tele-
gram. -: - i , .
All that we can say as to the merits of
Dobbins' Electric Soap, pale into nothing
ness before the story it will tell you itself,
of its own perfect quality, if you will give it
one trial. Don't take imitation. There
are lots of them.
. A woman without whims in the kind ofa
lndy we are all afraid of, but seldom meet.
Man will never be a free agent so long as
woman chooses either to rule or bam
boozle him.
A sure sign that your girl will go by
when you are smoking an old pipe.
Buenos Ayres is to have a world's fair.
Buffalo, N. Y claims a population of
250,000. h
Millions of small
corn fields of Texas.
black rats infest the
Utah has a colony composed of natives
of the Hawaiian Islands.
. A, Good. Samaritan.
"I am a merchant and planter." write
Mr. T. N. Humphrey, of Tennessee, "and
it gives me great pleasure 1o rht that lor
severe Loughs and Colds Allen 'at Liung bal
sam is the best remedy now offered for sale.
I have induced many to try it, with tbe
best of results."
" The chrysalis Is like 1 lie hired man they
both make the butter fly.' ,
linrsesit In Hie' Wrat.
To any of our readers who have any
thing that needs cleaning or 'coloring we
would call their attention o (ho Lincoln
Steam Dye Wbrks. Office 1 10."( O St.. Lin
coln, Neb. They clean nni color all kinds
ot ladies' and gents' clothing and guarantee
first-class work. Send to them fur price
list. Goods sent by express r mail.
Natural gas saved Pittsburg 7,000.000
tons of coal per year.
Fin lilt lire.
Hardy fc Pitcher of "Lincoln. Neb., have
one of the largest stock of Furniture in
the state. : They are shipping goods nil.
over the state constantly, so can Me cure
good freight rates. Anyone wanting furni
ture will find it to their advantage to call
on or write to Hnrdy & Pitcher. ,
The Texas cotton crop tin's vear is esti
mated to be worth $84.U00,00.
Old smokers prefer "Tansill's runch" Cigar.
The oldest man in the world lives in Hun
gary and is 121 years old.
Buy Union Soap and make a gue6s. Ask
your grocer about it to-day.
Bismarck has intimated to the pope that
he must not leave Home.
Oregon, the l'arall l FMrmcf.
Mild, equable cMinste. certain and nltuivHnt crop.
Best fruit, grain, grass and sux-.ic country In rhn
world. Full Information free. AdJredi t!ie Or go l
luimlgratiou Board, l'ortlaiid, Oregon.
Capitalists are investing large .'sums cl
- ney in West Virginia.
When Baby xres sick, we gave her Castorla,
When she was & Child, clio cried for Castorla,
When she became Hiss, Clio clung to Castorla,
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria,
When a man longs to whip an enemy, lie
hears that he has had long training in ath
letic sports and boxing.
A Juniata county. Fa., woman publicly
flogs her husband every time lie comes
home drunk.
To4iy cured Yaterday Crippled f
At Druggist and Deat.krs.
TKZ CHARLES A. V0GELER CO.. Baltimore. K-
roaltlvelyrured by
these Little PHI.
They 1ro relieve Dis
tress from Dyspep.in.In
digestion and TooHeartj
.Eating. A perfect rem
edy tor DlAitiMfl.Nauscs
Drowsiness, Bad Task-
in the Mouth. Coated
Tongne.Pain in tbe Side.
TOKPID ZJVElt. They
regulate the Bowels.
Purely Voce table.
Price 2S Cents;
CAET23 UEIICUTE CO., HEW 7042.
Small Pill: Small Dose. Small Price.
IE VAII are out of employment write to us We
lr IUU make the finest enlarged Oil Portraits In
existence. No capital required. Sample and terms
free. N. M. Friedman Co., Martlnsburg. Mo.
fjl M IT STUDY. Book-kecplnjr, Penmanship,
al f Iwl LI Arithmetic Shorthand, etc., thor.
oMffhly taught by mail. Lowrates. Circulars free.
-
Lincoln N. U.
8241
CARTERS
KITTLE
1 1 I iwi-r
II
JOSEPH H. HUNTER,
ILlEiTSLUNS BALSAM ALWAtS CORES.
. .. PHAWfllHTUO.O.. AlHT I.
Mprs. ,T. N. ffAHUtft A VAK-fJrntUmrn.- rmlt
ma to y that lor xntnl week 1 . miffr rd wiib
ercrecotiKh. I flrat liil'a Cough IUIhi,
nrt ( r tuat -rrl other prepAratlona. ciwh of
which I krv fair trial, which trailed me not h In.
Furttieaucct-etltnif atx dnya I uaod no medicine. Br
thaltinie 1 waa thought in the tint aUireaof Co
atiiupiloii. Mr cinikli tMlnK more sever iban erer.
J thenrotnrHfnrfrinninii AU.Wn I.NO BALAAM,
which has effectually cured me. I conaclenl.loualr
believe it to be an ex-iint medicine, end can a
ure you that It will afford me the bluheat poaolblo
era 1 1 Meat Ion to command It to mnt nwraon ;nn mar
refer to me. Yours truly, KuW'lol ULiLfUl.
ALLEN'S LUNG BALSAM
Is Cold by All Medicine Be&lers.
Mothers will find It a safe and rare remedy
to elve their CIIILDKEN WHEN AFFLKJTEiS
WITH CROUP.
It 1 harmless to the most delicate child.
It contains no opium in any form. .
It cures when other remedies fall to give relief.
CAUTION. Call fr ALLEN'S LUXO
BALSAM, antt shun the use of all
remetlie without merit 'and
established reputation. -
As an Expectorant it has many rivals,
btit no equal!
rilcc 5! .")cts.,50cts., and $1 per Bottle.
OR SALE BY ALL MEDICINE DEALERS.
GRATEFUL COMFORTING.
EPPS'S-.GOGOA-
BREAKFAST.
"By thorouprh knowledge or the natural laws
whlcu gorern the operations of digestion and nu
trition, and by a careful application of tbe flne
properties of well-selected Cocoa. Mr. Eppe has
prorided our breakfast tables with a dellcatlr
flavoured bevernge which may save us many l.t'ity
doctors' bills. It s by tbe Judicious use ot sui-U
articles of diet that a constitution fifty be gradual
ly built up until strong enough resist every ten
dency to disease. Ilundredsof subtle noalail li s are
floating around us ready to attack wherever thera
Is a weak point. We mar esoapemeny a rata I shaft
by keeping ouraelvrS well fortified with pure ttlomt
and properly nourished f rame." " Civil metric
Gatette."
Made simply with boiling water or milk. 8-ld
only In half-pound tins, by Grocers, labelled thus:
JAMES EPPS& CO., HomcsopatfciQ Chemists,
. London, England,
AND ORGANS
Retailed at Wholesale! Prices.
Write for catalogues and prices, for we can
.save you from $5U.OO to $15U.UO.
XTirm Xi 1 ljt Send us names of friends who
U J 1. IXjxj, expect to purchase a IMitno or
Orean soon, and If we sell to them within one y par. we
will pay you (10 on each l'lnno and to on each Organ,
oSniLuooii FOR 50 CTS.
This Card end CO cents In stumps, will pay for 19
pieces of clioice vocal or instrumental sheet hiuhio,
same as Is usually sold for fkl to 10, of your own
selection, from our 1888-l catalogue of pieces,
i'alalefiia mniled fee. This offer good only
until Jan. UU
S. 11. 11UYUTT, St. Joseph, Missouri.
J3fAD FIELDS
PFRlH'ATfll?
MENSTRUATION
OR MONTHLY RICHNESS
lr TPWf.N OVIRVNG CHANCE Of Ull,
6rtKT MKOtK" SU? T ERIHB WU. BE. KV ClDtll
J3COK TO" W O M HU'uuam'
BSADFIELD REGULATOR CO. ATLANTA fil
SOLO MYAU. PMUMSI$Pk j
THIS
IS
XW Write no
TUB
GREAT
wna.t x or It
yoa wtasj to
dowlth o weil
machine.
AIJ- ORPKU3
rHOMPTLT.
TUBULAR WELL AND
PROSPECTING MACHINE
famous for succeeding where
others have failed.
SELF GLEAMING.
Prill drops CO to 90 tlwei
n minute.
CATALOGUE FREE.
LOOMIS & NYMAN,
TIFFIN, OHIO.
JEl O IP S "2"
TllKATED FIIKI2.
for-lti vcly Cured with Vegetable llemedlea.
IInrecutl aiany idOuiiiiJ Cfc.tn. Cure patients
pronoun cod hopeless by the best physicians. Front
first dove symptoms raillly disappear, and In tea,
Cays aHi!Ht two-thirds of all ayniptom are remov
d. Send for tree book of testimoniHls of mlraculoue
tittiOs. Ten days treatment furnished free by wait,
if you order trial, send 10 cents in stamps to pay
postage. Lfli. U. 11. UKUUN A SONd. Atlanta. Ua
This) Trad
Mark Is on
Tie Best
Waterproof
' Coat
In the world.
t.J.Tow?r,Boto,
MUSIC I EM THE AIR
Hc.-ulqnartcrs for Band Instruments, Drum porps On,
fits Accord eons. Violin. Banjoa, Mandolins, Oultara,
Zithers Hai raonieaa.Htrinff for every inatrumant mad.
Full stock of Sliect Mnxle, Miislo Dooks, Band and Or.
rhrstra Hnaio Hand FoIUm. lnlruAlon Books fo? all
lnittrumentH. Anyone sending in an order wlU reoeiv
a copy of Music FREE. Write to ns for prices and cat
alogues, stating what kind of (roods wanted.
t.X .M1CYUH HIIO.,
OittMltn, Neb
CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH
PENNYROYAL P1LL0.
l&etl Cross lliaiuond llntnd.
Tb enlT rel labia pill fur sal. Serosa
sore. Ladle, mmk lraaa-at for U Ola.
laond lirand, in red oUiUo boaaa. aaaU4
wtm Wu ribbon. Takes ether. tra4,
iitampn) for particular and UrUcf fe
Chichester Chemical Co., Alndlsea to lhU, fs
JOHNW.TTIOIUIIS.
I Ate Principal Kxauilnet;
US. Pension Bureau, Attf
at Law, U'aslitniitoB,
i f rn,rnf r I ; I M 1 m a
original, increase, re-ratlnt;. widows', children's etxt
4,3.Ti4.nt Mimiwi1. iCxDerlence: S yrs. in lass
war, 15 yrs. iu pension Bureau and attorney alnoe.
TR OOfOKn on A MONTKcss be oisle
)f9a-"l(l a.OUt""""wor!Uii- lor us. A rente
preferred who ran furnUli a hora and tf' their l
time to tlia btialnaas. Hpara momenta mar I prontaola
employed aixo. A few vacnnoie in towns and etUeav
15. f . JuHNriO.V 6z Co., 1001 Main St.. Richmond. V.
K. B. Pleaae tau aira and busiua xk-i-iiio. Wes
er mind about aeud iu,r aUtiup for repi. U- ' J.
A MONTH and more is earned by
tirauuaiea wnu spent w unniii v,
at tbe Culleue. 8nd address of SB
friends snd sat circular and an'
fnl in.rlni.nl nf tiinranshlD sliKil.
Both sexes attend. Hnorthand tuuyht by wait.
BtSIK IvVV 1'VI.IJ.UI. Slrilinf, ass.
nntr nni I chadwick's manual
ttUOlC DULL IiR.MV-'.n
..-. on npnil ano i eiftlosmK one
SENT FREE
C'c-l Biainii. o eu'iresaius.
TIIEO. HOLLAND, P.
0. Box 1ZU PhiUL, P4U
SIIDClfn frtl who know WHAT'S WHAT -II
llCW U litt.il wanted to handle our sxtra fine
engraved goods. yuiet workers can make n po
of money without rink. Particulars free to riirht
parties by express only. N ame your nearest eiprrno
office. Addrea," KXCELH10lt LNUKAVlNtf CO.,
200 8. Clark Street, Chicago, 111.
COnSTI MANAGERS Labor Savins; Aeooaa
Book. None like It. Iispl 1 seller. Kxrluslre terrl
lory to state and county maiinger. bularr or eotn
mission. Write nt once and secttre asreney
Nkbbaska PuDLisniNO Co., Unootiv Nebraska
I AtVOlt'o flUUlUv oh salary or roinmlHsloru Our
Hooks, Bibles and Albums la cieniami. ena simr
for catalogue aud circulars. KxuuasKa Publish
iso to, Lincoln, Nebraska. .
llaWlTlHO iNi?lwlcielt!i
Jvaidiest r ruits for tbe KbKTnWKilT. Beak
Trees. Beat Terms. Best Plan, feeat Outfit rcucs
r-twH-lal Aids to Beginners.
Imoi BI XCUMtJltY CO.,lnlalsvnm,afs.
OPIUM
nbli, ThaenlyertAlsa
and easy cure. Dr. J. La.
Stephens, Lebanon, Okie
MAGIC REMEDY
VVlit cure lilooi 11.oii where
mercury talis. -Owned and toe
tale oniy by Cook ltemt-ay Co.. Omaha, .Keb. Write.
35
l 99 s day. Samples wurui Hi. ii 1C ....
Lines not under horses' leci. Wriieti - v
ster Safety Reiu Holder C0..H0II v. II
Arroney. WsJhlnjrtm
l. C. W1LC. OKT VOU
1'liNSlON without dala.
FE,MUE
iAMLU ..TaiKV
3D
PENSON
Yinn